Memoirs of the Life of

Catharine Phillips

(formerly Catherine Payton)

(1727 – 1794)

Taken from the Friend's Library 1837-1850

by William Evans and Thomas Evans

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Formatting and Modernized Spelling

by Jason R. Henderson 2017

- Unabridged -

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Chapter I

Some account of her parents—Early visitations and religious exercises—Remarks on engaging in the work of the ministry—First appearance therein.

As the dealings of the Almighty with me from my youth have been singular, and are worthy to be retained in remembrance with thankfulness, I have committed to writing some remarkable circumstances of my life; tending to awaken future thanksgiving and watchfulness in myself; and, considering how wonderfully the divine arm has been manifested for my help, to encourage me to a steady trust therein, and to perseverance in submission thereto; in order to leave to my surviving relations, some memorials of the various exercises and dangers which I have passed through, and of the merciful support and preservation vouchsafed from the Lord therein.

But first it appears proper for me to leave a testimony to my parents, who not only professed the Truth, but had it in possession. My father, Henry Payton, of Dudley in Worcestershire, son of John and Catharine Payton, respectable members in the Society of Friends, was called into the work of the ministry about the eighteenth year of his age; and, when young, travelled much in the service of Truth in many parts of this nation, Ireland and Scotland, as also in the American colonies; and from the testimonies of Friends, I have good reason to believe that his service was truly acceptable and edifying to the churches; his ministry being lively and clear, and his care not to exceed the openings of Truth therein apparent. His deportment was grave, his conduct clean and steady, and his charity in proportion to his circumstances, diffusive. He was an affectionate husband, a tender father, and kind master; serviceable amongst his neighbours, and beloved and respected by them.

Many years before his decease, he was disabled not only for public service in the ministry, but for acting in the private duties of life in providing for his family; being afflicted with a paralytic disorder, under which his faculties gradually gave way. I was much his companion in his long weakness, reading to him and attending upon him; and can give this testimony respecting him, that he retained the savour of the divine life to the last; and frequently manifested a religious concern for his children, and particularly for me his youngest child and tenderly beloved by him. He would often say, “The Lord bless you my children,” when his speech faltered so that he could articulate but little. In the seventy-fifth year of his age he was released from his affliction, and I doubt not is entered into everlasting bliss.

My mother was the daughter of Henry and Elizabeth Fowler, of Evesham in Worcestershire. She was a religious woman, endued with a strong and steady understanding, and many singular virtues, whereby she was fitted for the part she had to act in life. This was peculiarly exercising in part, through my father's incapacity for business, the care of a pretty large and young family, and a considerable business, that not of the kind most fit for a woman, devolving upon her. When my father was disabled from acting for his family, being engaged in a partnership in one branch of business which terminated in great loss of property, his affairs were in a very unsettled state; all which, with other trying circumstances, my mother passed through with admirable steadiness, fortitude, and patience; and through a long series of necessary worldly engagements, she was favoured to retain the best life. The Lord greatly blessed her endeavours for her children, in temporals; and I doubt not heard her prayers that the dew of heaven might rest upon them. She would say, she desired not great riches for her children, but that they might dwell in the fear of God. Her steady and strong conjugal affection was manifested in my father's long indisposition, by tender attention; and after his decease, by her frequently mentioning him in terms, which evinced that their union was founded in that love, which death cannot dissolve. She said that when she married him, she was so far from being intimidated at the thought of his leaving her, to travel in his ministerial office, that she entered into the solemn covenant, with a resolution to do her utmost to set him at liberty therein; and when it pleased divine Wisdom to deprive her of a husband whom she might offer up to his service, she was desirous that some one at least of her offspring might be called to the ministry. This was fulfilled in me, whom she tenderly loved; but, I believe she as freely dedicated me to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel, and was always ready to put me forward in his work; yet was weightily concerned that I might not run before my true guide. And although, after I was called to the ministry, it was my lot to be much absent from her, she never repined at it, but frequently encouraged and incited me to faithfulness: so that among the many mercies bestowed by bounteous Providence, I may justly number as not the least, the having such a parent.

She was an affectionate mother to all her children, yet very quick-sighted to their faults, ready to reprove them; and not subject to indulge them in childhood; but educated them in industry. In fine, she was an example of fortitude, cheerfulness, gravity, industry, economy, self-denial, and resignation to the divine will. She was generous to her friends; her house and heart always open to receive the Lord's messengers: for which she would say she thought a blessing was dropped upon her family. She was charitable to the poor; rather choosing to save from other expenses, that she might have to dispense. She died in the ninety-first year of her age; and retained a considerable degree of soundness of judgment until near the close of a useful, but careful life.

Thus descended, it may be supposed I was in the way to receive religious instruction from my infancy; and indeed I cannot date the first dawn of divine light upon my soul. With humble thankfulness I may say, that early in the morning of life I knew the Lord to be a God nigh at hand; convincing of evil, and raising breathings after the saving knowledge of his divine love and power. Friends who travelled in the ministry usually lodged at my father's house. I loved their company when very young, and their tender notice of me I commemorate with gratitude. Here I may remark, that if our youth prized the favour of the company and converse of such whose “feet appear beautiful upon the mountains” of salvation, and who have had large experience of the love of God, they might profit much thereby.

But, alas! how often do some avoid their company, scarcely giving them an opportunity of manifesting to them that tender affection wherewith their spirits are clothed; being probably afraid of reproof, on account of their indulging in liberties, contrary to the pure liberty of Truth; which they think hard, although it be given in that love which seeks the true happiness of their souls. I could read well when very young, and spending much time with my afflicted father, I read to him; and the experiences and sufferings of faithful martyrs, and of our worthy friends, with the accounts of the glorious exit of such as launched out of time in full assurance of everlasting bliss, made profitable impressions upon my mind; my spirit being often tendered thereby, and my love of virtue and piety strengthened; so that I may truly say that such holy persons, “though they are dead, yet speak.” May their language be heard by the youth of the present and succeeding generations; and incite them to eschew the paths of vanity, and to follow the footsteps of Christ's companions. So will the song of his redeemed be theirs.

But, notwithstanding these promising beginnings, as I grew up I yielded to various temptations, and was allured from the simplicity of Truth; the evil propensities in nature getting the ascendency. But even in my childhood I experienced many conflicts, and my convictions for evil were strong; so that at times my heart was sorrowful, and my pillow watered with my tears, although my countenance and deportment were mostly cheerful. Once, having yielded to temptation, my sense of guilt was such, that I concluded I had sinned against the Holy Spirit; and that agreeably to Christ's testimony, I “should never be forgiven.” This so affected my tender mind with sorrow and unutterable distress, that it could not be entirely concealed from the family; although I was enabled, even in childhood, to keep my exercises of mind much to myself. I think I must have been about eight or nine years old when it was thus with me; and as in childhood I was several times visited with fevers, which brought me very low, I was led to consider how I was prepared for the awful change wherewith I was threatened; and a weighty sense rested upon my spirit, that my soul was not pure enough for admittance into Christ's holy kingdom.

Sometimes I would covenant with the Lord to be more circumspect and watchful for the future; but the airy natural disposition again got the ascendency, whereby an occasion for repentance would arise. My natural disposition was very volatile, and my apprehension quick; and as iny faculties opened, I delighted much in books of a very contrary nature and tendency to those which had engaged my attention in childhood. I had a near relation, who, notwithstanding his having been divinely favoured in his youth, had slighted his soul's mercies, and pursued lying vanities. He kept house in the town; and through him, myself and my sisters had opportunities of obtaining plays and romances, which I read with avidity.

I also spent so much time at his house as to be introduced into amusements very inconsistent with the simplicity of truth, and my former religious impressions; so that my state was indeed dangerous, and but for the interposition of divine Providence, I had been left to pursue courses which must have terminated deplorably.

I also read history, was fond of poetry, and had a taste for philosophy; so that I was in the way to embellish my understanding, as is the common phrase, and become accomplished to shine in conduct; which might have tended to feed the vain proud nature, render me pleasing to those who were in it, and make me conspicuous in the world. But the Lord, in his wisdom, designed to bring me to public view in a line directly opposite to worldly wisdom, pleasure, or honour; and when he was pleased more fully to open to my understanding his great and glorious work of renovation of spirit, I saw that I must desist from these publications and studies, and pursue the one necessary business, namely, working out the salvation of my immortal soul: and I esteem it a great mercy that I readily attended to this intimation. However lawful it may be, in proper seasons, to look into the works of nature, and become acquainted with the history of former or present times, my attention was now powerfully attracted to higher subjects; and had I pursued those lower things, I might have become as a “vessel marred upon the wheel.” This is, alas! the case with many who have been divinely visited, but who, not deeply and steadily attending to the instructions of pure wisdom, but seeking to be wise and learned, in matters which merely relate to this present state, have not advanced in the simplicity of divine knowledge; and although it has remained obvious that the Lord's hand has mercifully been turned upon them to form them for his service, they have not grown up to that degree of usefulness in Christ's church, whereto they might have attained, had they passively abode the turnings of his preparing hand. Were the sons and daughters of our religious Society, who are favoured with good natural understandings, clothed with heavenly wisdom, they would become and appear truly great, in the dignified simplicity and humility of the service of the King of kings. Human knowledge and acquirements too often pufF up the minds of youth; and indeed some of more advanced age pride themselves therein, when, as examples to the rising generation, they should be clothed with humility.

It was observed of a truly honourable member of our favoured Society, that “he was a divine and a naturalist, and all of the Almighty's making.”[1] I have read very little on natural philosophy, and am not in a disposition to boast of my acquired knowledge of, either human, natural, or divine things; but I may say, that I have admired how by one gleam of heavenly light the understanding is opened into natural things; so as in degree to behold, as at one view, the general economy of the divine Former of all things, as it is displayed in the outward creation. This produces adoration to him under the humbling sense of his power, mercy, and wisdom, as well as admiration of his works; and discovers that they are indeed marvellous, and in their full extent incomprehensible.

Therefore, let not the faculties of his adopted children be so improperly occupied in exploring them, as to prevent an advance in their various stations in his militant church: when happily their souls are fixed in the triumphant, they will know so much, as forever to inspire the angelic song of “Great and marvellous are your words. Lord God Almighty, in wisdom have you made them all!"

From these remarks I return to my education, which, while I was at home, had not been entirely neglected, as to useful and necessary learning; yet, as through the afflicted circumstances of our family, I had been kept pretty closely there until I had attained my sixteenth year, my mother concluded to send me to London, and put me for one year under the care of Rachel Trafford, who, with her sister, kept a respectable boarding-school; not doubting her attention to me, as she when young had spent a considerable time in my father's family.

She was affectionately kind to me; and, as a minister as well as mistress, I believe her mind was frequently exercised for the religious improvement of her scholars, which at times was manifested by verbal supplication for them, as well as advice and reproof.

I improved much for the time I stayed in the school; and my school-fellows behaved well to me; but being so far advanced towards maturity, tall, and proportionally grown for my age, I looked rather too much like a woman for a school; yet some of my school-fellows were older than myself, which I believe increased my mistress's anxious solicitude for our preservation, we being, to use her own expression, a school of women, myself most intimately with my mistress's niece, who acted as a teacher, and with one of the scholars, a sensible, agreeable, well-behaved young woman, but not of our Society, who was admitted into the school to qualify herself in needle-work, for a school-mistress. As neither of them were much under the influence of religion, I did not profit by their conversation, in the most essential respect. But after I had been a few months in the school, I was favoured with a renewed visitation of divine love, and grew uneasy with my situation. Home became desirable, although I knew it to be a house of affliction; and on my intimating it to my dear mother, my brother James fetched me there, sooner than she intended when I left her.

Thus far I have commemorated the dealings of the Almighty with my soul, manifested principally in tender mercy; but now the day was coming wherein his righteous judgments were manifested against all that was high, and opposite to his pure Spirit; in which day my wanderings from Him, the Shepherd of Israel, were brought to my remembrance, and my sins set in order before me; which wrought great humiliation and brokenness of heart, with strong cries to Him, that he would graciously pass by my transgressions, and receive me into covenant with himself Although this dispensation was not agreeable to degenerated nature, which, like Adam, when he had transgressed, seeks to evade the condemnation; yet, because of the glory which I was favoured to discover beyond it, and the divine love which I saw therein, I said, in the secret of my soul, “It is good for me to be under it;” and I was made willing patiently to abide the judgments of the Lord for sin, in order that I might witness remission thereof through the baptism of repentance, and the sanctifying life or Spirit of his Son Jesus Christ. And this mercy, in the appointed season of infinite wisdom, I experienced; so that my past transgressions were blotted out of the book of remembrance, upon the terms of my future steady perseverance in the fear of God; and in the sensible exaltation of the attribute of divine mercy over judgment, my soul rejoiced with humble thankfulness.

Yet as when the children of Israel were delivered out of Egypt, and travelled through the wilderness, they had new trials of various kinds to encounter, insomuch that they thought their sufferings rather increased than diminished, and frequently feared perishing in that desert land; so, being now relieved from the oppressive weight of past actual transgression, and travelling after the saints promised inheritance, which is a state of establishment in righteousness, I had to pass to the attainment thereof.

I soon connected through many deep baptisms and exercises of faith and patience. I was now brought into my own heart, which, by reason of the irregularity of its passions and inclinations, might well be compared to an uncultivated wilderness; through which I must travel, and wherein I must receive the law for the ordering of my outward conduct, O! the seasons of hunger and thirst, the tossings and perplexities, the “thunderings, lightnings, and tempests,” which seemed to threaten destruction, which I had to pass through in that day, are to be had in everlasting remembrance; with thanksgiving to that divine hand which preserved me from being so far dismayed at them as to look back with a desire to return to that country, or state, from which I happily escaped. The adversary here transformed himself as into an angel of light, and, under the specious appearance of righteousness, represented the way so strait, that it was impossible to walk therein and act as a rational being; thereby endeavouring to discourage me, or prevent my attaining to the true gospel liberty, in the use of the creatures, and the course of my conduct.

Indeed, in this season of deep distress, both the “earth and heavens were shaken;” some of those religious principles, which I had received by education, were called in question; and I was left without any foundation of certainty respecting them; nor could I attain to it by the testimony of others, or the writings of such as had vindicated them to the world; being to receive my convincement of them, from the deep ground of divine revelation.

All which I have seen was necessary to fit me for the service which was appointed me; that the foundation of my faith might be laid in certainty, and that I might be able to testify with boldness, that I had experienced what I asserted to be the truth; and be also suitably qualified to sympathize with, and minister to, such as were in the like states. I saw early for what station I was designed in Christ's Church. This manifestation of the divine will, my soul received with a good degree of resignation; nevertheless, until the Lord's time for putting me forth to service was come, I was frequently assaulted with fears, lest it should be required of me at such time, and in such manner, as would be doubly hard to flesh and blood: and the adversary was very busy with his presentations, intending thereby either to dispirit my mind from pursuing its proper duty, or, by hurrying me into what had the appearance thereof, to bring me into confusion.

But, in all these “voices of the stranger,” there was a lack of that certainty, which I had concluded should attend such a discovery of the divine will, and which I was happily led to look for; and I was at length strengthened to covenant with the Almighty, that whenever the evidence was clear and strong, I would submit thereto.

And here it may not be unprofitable to remark, that some minds are more liable to be thus affected than others. Such as have a strong and quick imagination, and whose hearts have been deeply affected with the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and of the love of God to mankind; whose desires are strong, that the one might come to an end, and the other abound in the earth; it is difficult for these at all times, especially when young in religious experience, to keep the quiet habitation, wherein alone the voice of the true Shepherd is to be heard, and distinguished from that of the stranger. But as the will becomes gradually resigned to that of God, and the imagination in its natural working silenced, and the soul comes more constantly to worship in the Lord's temple, the adversary in these false appearances is bound, or if permitted to present them, there is strength acquired to stand still and try the spirits. This I have seen, in the light of Truth, to be absolutely necessary before we move in the Lord's service; the lack of which has been productive of much confusion, and administered cause of reproach on our high and holy profession, to such who are seeking for an occasion to lay waste the belief in divine revelation.

But to return:—being come to the aforesaid state of resignation, I waited quietly to discern the puttings forth of the divine hand, in a state of earnest prayer, that I might not be permitted to move before the proper time; which I have good ground to believe was heard and answered; and that from the motion of divine life I was constrained to supplicate the Almighty in our little meeting at Dudley, the tenth day of the second month, 1748, being then newly entered the twenty-second year of my age.

May such of the Lord's children, whom He appoints to the solemn important service of the ministry, humbly and patiently wait to know when to move therein; as through neglect of this some have stepped into it, before they have fully passed through the dispensation of preparation for it; and, if ever they have become strong in his service, they have continued long in a state of weakness. Yet let none despise “the day of small things.” A few words spoken under divine direction, are often blessed to those to whom the Master of the solemn assemblies directs them.

I continued to minister, as the Lord was pleased to give me ability, in great brokenness of heart, and for a time in but a few words; for great fear was upon my spirit lest I should minister in the wisdom of the creature, which ever brings death, and begets its like. In a sense of this danger, strong were my cries to the Almighty, that what I handed forth to the people might be unmixed, let it appear ever so simple or despicable in the view of the worldly wise and learned. And as I continued to move in fear and trembling, the Lord was with me, and enlarged my understanding, and increased my service in the openings of Truth: at which his people rejoiced, and, in obedience to his requirings I felt sweet peace. Yet was my spirit frequently in heaviness, being humbled with many deep exercises, which I found profitable to establish it in righteousness, although painful to nature. I leave it as an observation, that I have seldom, if ever, seen any stand, and arrive to any considerable degree of usefulness in the Church, whose foundation has not been deeply laid in afflictions and exercises; whereby they are crucified with Christ, and shall therefore rise with him to glory and honour, in the present as well as in a future state. But in all my afflictions and deep baptisms, the Shepherd of Israel was with me, and preserved and supported my spirit to the honour of his own name, to whom alone I could attribute the praise. For in those allotted days and years of tribulation, very little instrumental help was afforded me; my lot being cast in a quarter where there were none near who were capable of giving me much assistance or wise counsel, not having trodden in the same steps. I sometimes thought my case was hidden from some of the Lord's servants, who were concerned to visit his heritage; or else that they were in part restrained from ministering to it; and my tongue was much sealed in silence, for my exercises were incommunicable.

All this I saw to be of excellent use, as the contrary might have led to a dependence on the servants, which ever brings weakness; or have been productive of confusion, through my imparting my case to such as were not skilful to minister to it, and who nevertheless might have advised therein. I have seen it to be profitable and necessary for such as are in a state of infancy in religion, to dwell with their exercises; leaning simply on that arm, which alone is able to carry through them; and, until the mind has acquired a depth of judgment to distinguish clearly who is on the Lord's side, to be very cautious to whom they communicate them; lest they be wounded, by discovering those, whom they have chosen for their friends, to be enemies to the cross of Christ.

Yet when the Lord directs, in times of great strait, to advise with some experienced servant, it will undoubtedly be advantageous, and a steady sympathizing friend is a great strength and blessing, when it is afforded in divine wisdom.

I am inclined to close this chapter with a little poem, which I wrote in my nineteenth year; as it has been handed about in manuscript, and suffered much by copying. Between my eighteenth and twenty-second year I penned several small tracts, all of a religious nature; but soon after I appeared in the ministry, I dropped my pen in regard to verses. I do not say it was a sacrifice required; but the continuing of the practice might have proved a snare in some way. It might have engaged my attention too much, or tended to make me popular, which I have ever guarded against; for I was early afraid of my mind and services being tarnished with vanity. And here I may add, that from the time I came from school, I read but little, save religious books; and after I appeared in the ministry, until late in life, reading even them was much taken from me, except the Scriptures: all which I believe was in divine Wisdom, that I might not minister from what I had gathered from religious writings; but might receive the arguments I was enabled to advance on behalf of the Truth, by the immediate revelation of the Holy Spirit. And I can with truth say, that the Lord has been to me, mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance, to my own humbling admiration. May all the praise be given to him now and forever!

A PRAYER FOR WISDOM.

Maker supreme, of heav'n and earth,

Of sea, of air, and sky;

O! you who gav'st to all things birth,

Lord, hear me when I cry.

To You, invisible, I'll pray,

You only righteous God;

And You, omnipotent, obey,

And fear your dreadful rod.

Riches or life, I do not crave,

Nor any transient things;

The one has wings, and in the grave

Are laid the proudest kings.

'Tis heav'nly wisdom I admire;

'Tis this is my request:

Oh, grant, great God, this my desire.

And I am fully blest:

Wisdom to worship you aright,

To understand your will.

To do my duty in your sight,

And your commands fulfil:

That when my fleeting sands are run,

And death shall set me free;

When the short thread of life is spun,

My soul may fly to you:

Where I shall live eternally,

And fear no end of time;

But praise your name,

enthron'd on high,

You pow'rful God divine.

Not with a weak and mortal voice,

But in celestial strains;

In heav'n, the centre of my joys,

And end of all my pains

Chapter II.

Visits Wales—Circular meeting at Coventry—Western Counties of England—Goes to Bath on religious service—Pays a religious visit to Ireland.

Having now entered the list of public combatants in the Lamb's army, I pretty soon became concerned to travel for the promotion of Truth and righteousness; and for more than twenty years, had but little intermission from gospel labours.

In the fifth month, 1749, old style, I left home, in order to visit some part of Wales; in which journey my dear friend Lucy Bradley was made willing to accompany me, although, as she said, she knew not that her call to service was much farther than to assist me; with whom I travelled in sweet unity, she being a true sympathizing friend, and deep travailler in spirit, as well as rightly qualified publicly to minister. We visited the meetings of Friends in Radnorshire, Monmouthshire, Glamorganshire, Pembrokeshire, and part of North Wales; and in about seven weeks I returned home in peace and thankfulness, to my dear mother and relations; who had been made willing to give me up for Truth's sake, and gladly received me back. In this journey the principal share of the public service fell to my lot; wherein the Lord was evidently with me, strengthening for the work of the day to the honour of his own name; and the testimony of Truth was sometimes exalted, in its own authority, over the libertine and hypocritical professors of it.

The youth, and tender honest-minded, were visited and refreshed in divine love; liberty and strength were afforded to declare it to those not of our Society; and I had ground to hope that our labour was not entirely in vain: some persons being powerfully affected, who, I hope, long retained a sense of that visitation; particularly William Phillips from Cornwall, who was then upon a visit to his relations at Swansea.

In less than a week after my return from this journey, I went to the circular yearly meeting for the seven western counties, which was held this year at Coventry, and was very large, and, in the main, satisfactory. It was attended by many valuable experienced ministers, who were careful of laying hands suddenly upon me; although I had good reason to believe that the most weighty of them loved me; but were fearful of hurting me by discovering too much approbation or affection; which some minds, in the infancy of religious experience, have not been able to bear. After my return from this meeting, I was stripped of that strength wherewith the Almighty had been pleased to clothe me; which, with some other discouragement I met with, sunk me very low, insomuch that I was ready to doubt of all I had known, and to call in question my commission to minister: and my soul was attacked by the adversary in some of his most subtle appearances, and baptized into a cloud of darkness. This dispensation I afterwards saw to be serviceable; the more so, as before my return from my Welsh journey, I had a prospect of another into' the west of England; for therein I forgot all my former services, was emptied of all self-sufficiency, and became as weak and depending as when I first engaged in the weighty service of the ministry: and it lives in my experience, that thus the Lord will deal with his servants, for their preservation, that they may dwell in a continual sense, that the excellency is of Him; from whom proceeds wisdom, power, light, utterance, peace, and every good gift.

My concern for the west continuing and increasing, I imparted it to my relations, who being willing to give me up, I sought for a companion, but could hear of none suitable. This added to my exercise; for it seemed very dangerous for such a child as I, to travel alone; but after waiting as long as I dared, I laid my concern before Friends of our monthly meeting, and requested their certificate,[2] but. told them that I knew of no companion; and if they had not been free to let me go alone, I believe I should have been easy to have waited longer; but they gave me a certificate; and in the eleventh month, 1749, I left home in great humility and fear, being accompanied by my dear brother James Payton, who went with me to several meetings in our own county, and left me not without some doubt on account of the natural weakness of my constitution, which he feared might suffer in this winter's journey. I proceeded to Bristol, and from there, through part of the counties of Wilts, Somerset, Dorset, and Devon, to Penzance in Cornwall, and returned back to that city in the spring.

Although I went from home alone, I was not much without a suitable companion, the Almighty putting it into the heart of one or other of his servants to accompany me. Mary Fry, of Sutton in Wiltshire, went with me through Dorsetshire; and Mary Pole, of Milverton in Somersetshire, through Devonshire and Cornwall; who were both very tender of me, and serviceable to me. The latter was not in the ministry, but a solid sympathizing friend, and true labourer in spirit in meetings.

I visited the meetings of Friends pretty generally in Dorsetshire, Devonshire, and Cornwall; some of which were attended by many people of other societies; before whom the Lord gave me boldness to testify of his Truth with good authority, and to lay open the false and dangerous opinions of some professed Christians, particularly that of unconditional election and reprobation; which dark principle was then likely to gain ground in these parts.

I was concerned to appoint meetings at several places, where Friends had no meeting-houses; all which I hope had their service. At Truro in Cornwall, I had a satisfactory meeting, although the people at that town had heretofore manifested their dislike to Friends labouring among them; but they behaved pretty peaceably now, and I had cause to believe my service in this meeting tended to open the way for the circular yearly meeting to be held here; which it was in the year 1752, much to the satisfaction of Friends. At Bath, in my return, I was concerned to appoint a meeting for the strangers in town, it being the season for drinking the waters; to which some of them came, and it was a memorable opportunity, the power of Truth being exalted to the reducing of their light and airy spirits, to some degree of solidity; for which my soul bowed in thankfulness to Him who calls to and qualifies for his service. In this meeting a man sat opposite to me, who wrote by intervals while I was speaking, and I apprehended was taking down what I said; but my spirit was borne above looking at that, being bound to the testimony of Truth.

After staying about a week at Bristol, I went for the Welsh yearly meeting, which was held this year at Brecknock, being accompanied by John Curtis, a valuable minister of Bristol, and several other Friends. In our way we appointed meetings at Caerleon, Pontypool, and Abergavenny; at the first of which places, I could not find that there had ever been a meeting before; but the people behaved well, and I hope it ended to the satisfaction of the sensible Friends present. It was held upon a first-day in the afternoon; and while we were in it, a number of people were going about the street with a fiddle; it being the custom in some places in Wales, after what they call divine service, to entertain themselves with music, or other diversions.

What an inconsistency! That at Abergavenny was large, and I hope of service in opening the way of the testimony amongst the people. Here a Presbyterian preacher made some disturbance at the close of it. I thought his aim was to cloud the doctrine which had been preached, and so prevent the people from being shaken thereby from their old sentiments; but he was blamed by them, and I hope missed his end. I had not much public service at Brecknock, yet was glad I was there, for indeed it was a humbling time to me. For although, in proportion to my gift and experience, the Almighty had eminently favoured me in this journey; yet, on beholding the service and conduct of some other of his ministers, and comparing mine with them, I was led to look upon myself but as a mean instrument, and greatly to esteem these my elders in the Truth. O! how secretly does the Lord work, to the purifying of the hearts of such of his servants who desire to be divested of every high thought, and humbly to cast down their crowns at his feet. This was the ardent prayer of my soul, from the sense of the miserable loss some had sustained, in being puffed up with self-conceit and the esteem of the people; which I have seen to be a very fallacious line to measure one's self by: for sometimes that which is highly applauded by them, is reproved by that Spirit which searches all things.

From Brecknock I returned to Bristol yearly meeting, from where I thought of returning home; but, to my great disappointment, a concern rested upon me to proceed to the yearly meeting at London, in company with Rachel Wilson, who came with me from Brecknock, and was without any companion in the ministry.

This brought a great exercise upon my mind, under the consideration of the concern it would bring upon my relations; who I knew were desirous that I might steadily move in the counsel of God; and perhaps might fear my running too fast, which I also dreaded; but finding I could not otherwise be easy, I advised with some friends, and particularly with my ancient and honourable friend, Benjamin Kidd, who encouraged me therein.

The Bristol yearly meeting ended satisfactorily, many valuable ministers attended it, and the testimony of Truth was measurably exalted.

It had pleased the Lord in the several times I had been in this city, to favour me with considerable liberty in the exercise of my gift, whereby a door was opened to me in the minds of Friends there; which favour I hope I received with due thankfulness.

Being clear of Bristol I proceeded to London, attending several meetings in the way,'appointed by Rachel Wilson; at one of which we met with our valuable friend Daniel Stanton from America, with whom we went in company to London; where we were affectionately received by many Friends, and I had good ground to believe my coming to that city, was in the will and wisdom of the Almighty, though greatly in a cross to my own.

After the yearly meeting, I returned directly home, through mercy in peace, and was there gladly received by my dear mother, etc.

Upon a review of this journey, I found abundant cause to adore the wisdom, love, and care, of the heavenly Shepherd; which were eminently manifested in his conducting, dealing with, and preserving me, a poor weak inexperienced child. The many dangers I had escaped, the many deep exercises I had been supported under, with the multitude of favours conferred on so unworthy an object, struck me with admiration, and raised this acknowledgment, that He “had not dealt with me according to my desert, but according to the multitude of his mercies.”

My return from this journey was in the fourth month, old style, 1750. I staid about home until the fall of the year, when I found my mind drawn to Bath, principally on the account of such as resorted there to drink the waters; to which city I went, and spent a few weeks therein, and at Bristol, etc. I hope profitably. I passed the winter of this year chiefly at and about home, amongst my relations.

In the spring of the year 1751, I attended the yearly meeting for Wales, held at Newport in Shropshire, which was large and divinely favoured.

My dear friend Samuel Fothergill attended it, to whom I imparted a concern, which I had for some time been under, of visiting Ireland; in which he encouraged me, and advised that I should endeavour to get to Dublin half-year's meeting. I had afterwards cause to believe his advice was right; for although I did not arrive timely to attend it, yet, had I not come in time to consult Mary Peisley before she left the city, I might not have been favoured with her company. Accordingly I very soon set forward, my brother accompanying me to Liverpool, and seeing me on board a vessel bound for Dublin, in which he left me to the protection of Providence. We sailed down the harbour, but the wind proving contrary, lay that night at anchor, and the next day returned to Liverpool; where I was content to wait, until He who sent me forth was pleased to afford the means of my release from my native land; which was in a few days, when I was favoured with a good passage, for which my spirit was thankful. I took up my lodgings at Dublin at John Barclay's, by whom, though personally unknown, I was kindly received.

Soon after I landed I heard that my dear friend Mary Peisley was in town. I told her that as I was without a companion, I should be glad if she could find freedom to go with me a part of the journey; to which she said little then, but before she left the city, informed me that she had for some time felt drawings to visit the western and northern provinces, and was free to join me in these parts; with which I thankfully concurred. It is worthy of remark, that the evening before I landed, she being under the influence of heavenly goodness, and in that state resigned to go this journey, it appeared to her that a companion would be sent her from England. Thus does the Lord mercifully provide all things necessary for such as trust in him, and are willing to follow whithersoever he leads them.

Mary Peisley returned home from Dublin, in order to prepare for the journey. I staid a few days, and then left it with an intention to visit two meetings in the county of Wicklow, and return back to the city. Several Friends accompanied me in a coach, which I mention as being singularly providential, for the day we left town I was taken ill; but as a meeting was appointed at Wicklow, we went forward, and reached the place that night. Next day I was much worse, yet attended the meeting and had some little service therein, though under a heavy load of sickness; which continuing, I returned the next day to Dublin, where I was laid up for about two weeks. In all this time my mind was remarkably resigned to this dispensation of Providence; feeling sweet peace in giving up to come the journey, even if it were the Lord's will I should lay down my natural life in that city; having a comfortable hope that it would have been in peace; but as he saw fit in wisdom and mercy, to raise me from this state of weakness, my earnest desire was, that my longer continuance in mutability might be to the honour of his ever worthy name.

Letter from her mother received about this time.

Dudley, 8th of Fourth month, 1751.

My dear and tender Child,—Yours, with the agreeable account of your arrival at Dublin, your brother has wrote you we received. Your other dated the 28th ult. which brings the news of your illness, also came safe; which you may suppose was a great trouble to me to hear; but although at present it is a hard trial to have you ill so far separate from us, yet I esteem it a favour that your lot is cast among such careful and good friends, which I desire to be thankful for. It is no small satisfaction to me that you have been so easy in yourself, and I would have you labour against every thing which the enemy in the time of weakness may present, and I doubt not but the same peace will be continued to you.

Do not think, my dear child, of my affliction on your account; for as you were satisfied it was your duty to go, and I thought it my duty to give you up; I trust you will be restored to me, and to your health, and answer the service the Almighty has sent you upon to the honour of his great name: then whenever we meet again it will be so much to our comfort and your satisfaction, that with hearts filled with gratitude, we shall, I hope, for we shall have cause, return thanks to Him who is alone worthy.

Although you know that I am very short in expressing myself, yet, my dear child, when I find my mind rightly exercised, my prayers are night and day for your preservation, as I believe yours are for me, I desire, when you get well enough to go on your journey, you will consider your weak constitution, and not overdo yourself My very dear love is to the friends with whom you lodge, not forgetting their care of you. I shall now conclude with my dear and tender love, your afflicted, but not without hope, affectionate mother,

Ann Payton.

In the time of my indisposition, I lodged at Robert Clibborn's, whose wife was exceedingly tender of me. John Barclay and two more in his family were ill, which rendered it improper for me to return to his house. I staid some little time in Dublin to recover my strength, and my friend John Barclay's indisposition proving mortal, I attended the meeting held on account of his funeral; which was very large, and attended with a good degree of solemnity. After this I left the city, accompanied by a solid young woman, named Elizabeth Carleton, not in the ministry, who was with me about three weeks; in which time I passed through the meetings of Friends in the counties of Carlow and Wexford, to Waterford; where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peisley, who was my companion through most of the remainder of this journey.

I had cause thankfully to acknowledge the mercy of Providence in affording me one so steady and experienced, from whose conduct I might gather instruction. We travelled together in great unity and affection, which rendered the trials we met with in the journey the more easy. These were considerable, resulting in part from the nature of our services; which were mostly pointed to the states of persons or meetings, and exposed us to censure from spirits unsubjected to the power of Truth; but our good Master supported us through all, and nearly united our spirits to the living conscientious professors of it, in that nation. It was sometimes my lot in this journey to appoint meetings in places where there were none of our Society, in which I had the unity of my companion and friend; and they mostly ended to satisfaction, the Almighty proportioning wisdom and strength to the occasions.

The 27th of the seventh month I returned to Dublin, in hope that I might in a few days take my passage for my native land; but two women Friends from England, who had been visiting Ireland, being expected in town soon, and to return home, I was free to wait a little for their company; but therein was disappointed, for one of the Friends got a fall from her horse in Dublin street, by which she was disabled from pursuing her intention of going home. So I put to sea, but the wind proving contrary, we were forced back, after having been beating against it almost four days.

This sunk my spirits considerably, but on my return, service opened for me, and the wind being still contrary, I took a little turn in the country to satisfaction, and attended the province meeting for Leinster, where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peisley; with whom I went to her father's house, and stayed about a week, and we went in company to the half-year's meeting at Dublin; in which solemnity I was favoured to minister in the authority of Truth; and after taking an affectionate leave of my near friends, and especially of my companion, who was still more near to me in the union of the divine Spirit, I sailed for England the 12th of the ninth month, 1751,[3] arrived at Parkgate the 14th, and reached home the 16th, to the mutual rejoicing of myself and relations.

After my return my spirit rested some time in a quiet settlement, and great enjoyment in the Truth; which was an abundant compensation for all my labour and sufferings attending the journey.

Copy of a Letter to that truly great minister, my ancient friend, Abigail Watson of Ireland.

Dudley, 18th of Eleventh month, 1751.

My Dear Friend,—It was not because I had not a due esteem for your letter, that I did not answer it from Dublin; for indeed I read it with pleasure, and am thankful you count me in any degree worthy of your friendship; but being pretty much hurried, could hardly get a quiet hour to write. I now make use of the first convenient opportunity to inform you, that, through divine favour, I have safely reached my outward habitation, and was gladly received by my dear mother, etc. whom I found in as good a state of health as I expected. My mind, for the most part since I came home, has been quiet and easy, resting under the enjoyment of peace in discharging my duty to your nation; which service, as you hinted, was not undertaken in my own will, nor performed in my own strength; but He who sent me forth, vouchsafed to accompany me: and though he many times saw fit that I should be deeply tried, he was with me in the deeps, as well as in the heights, preserving in danger and distress. Unseen he helped me, because he knew my soul looked to him for assistance, desiring to be guided by his unerring counsel.

I write not this boastingly, for my spirit is humbled, under a sense of his goodness and unmerited love. What am I, that the Majesty of heaven should thus condescend to visit me? A poor, weak, unprofitable servant, unto whom belongs fear and confusion of face.

Ah! my dear friend, what are the best of us all, without the divine presence or assistance? It is that is our strength, our crown, and rejoicing; by that are we made beautiful; and, divested of that, become as nothing. O! may I ever live in a just sense of the necessity of seeking after it. O! my God, sooner cut the thread of my life, than allow me to fall from tasting your goodness: let me not bring dishonour on your great name, which I now reverence and adore. These, my dear friend, are the secret desires of my soul, in joy and in affliction; which in freedom and tenderness of spirit, I at this time communicate. Whenever you or your husband find freedom to write me a few lines, I hope, if health permit, you will not forbear. My lot is cast in a barren land, and I need all the help that can be afforded me: I am persuaded I need not request you to remember me, since I have good reason to believe our spirits are united in gospel- fellowship; in which I at this time both salute and bid you farewell, and am your affectionate friend,

Catharine Payton

Before I left Ireland, I found my mind drawn to visit the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders in the province of Ulster by an Epistle; and soon after my return home, I was also concerned to write a few lines to a people at Cardiff in Wales, who had in part relinquished their former professions of religion, and sat together in silence, but were in an unsettled state.

To the few who have been convinced of the rectitude of waiting upon the Lord in silence, and accustomed to meet for that good end, in Cardiff.

Friends,—In the love of my heavenly Father, joined with a sense of duty, am I engaged thus to salute you; desiring your steadfastness in the unchangeable Truth: that being grounded in right faith, you may not be carried away with every wind of doctrine, but in stability of mind, may be able to distinguish between what proceeds pure from the Fountain of wisdom, and what is mixed with human policy, and the traditions of men; which tend to alienate the mind from the simplicity of gospel worship, and fix it in outward performances, amusing it with bodily exercises which profit but little.

By this means, many times, that tender spiritual sensation, with which the soul, in the infancy of religion, is blessed, in measure is lost, and the understanding clouded; the mind being either plunged in a labyrinth of thought, or exalted above that diffident childlike state, in which the humble followers of the Lamb delight to abide: because therein they are capable of knowing his voice from that of a stranger; and receive strength to follow him through the several dispensations of probation he is pleased to allot them.

Many times since I saw your faces have I looked towards you, and I wish I could say I have beheld all keeping their habitations in the Lord. But, alas! instead of that, has there not been a swerving aside, and building again that which you had taken some good steps towards abolishing; which, whosoever does, makes himself a transgressor? May I not query, Why halt you between two opinions? I believe this to be one cause of your weakness, and I fear, if persisted in, will prove your destruction. I believe it was the merciful design of the Almighty to redeem you from a dependency on mortals, and to bring you to wait for the immediate teachings of his Spirit, and to confide in his power, from a lively sense of its sufficiency: and had you simply followed Him, his Almighty arm had been exalted to the bringing down of your enemies, and the enlarging of your understandings; so that you would not only have seen that there was light, but the miraculous cure of blindness had been perfected, and in the light you would have discerned objects clearly. Here you would have grown in Christian experience, and having received the holy unction, you would have found as you abode under it, that you needed not that any man should teach you, for that this anointing was sufficient to instruct in all things. And here you would have been able to distinguish between words accompanied with, and those without, the power of God, by the different effects each had in the soul: the one tending to quicken unto God, and the other to bring death over the spiritual life.

According to the nature of things, a ministry out of the life of the gospel can only beget its likeness: it may fill the head with notions, but can never replenish the soul with grace.

But, as it is the business of the enemy to delude the judgment with false appearances, he will endeavour, by puffing up the mind with vain conceits, to make a likeness of the effects of the Truth.

The head being stored with knowledge, and Christianity in part understood in theory, by working upon the imagination, the poor deluded creature may boast of visions and enjoyments, and, soaring on the wings of deception, may abound in rapturous expressions; but though he may talk of God and Christ from morning till evening, it is but warming himself at a fire of his own kindling, being destitute of the efficacy of grace.

Truth has a natural tendency to humble all the faculties of the soul, to make it “rejoice with trembling,” and to clothe it with meekness, resignation, and contrition; in which state it seeks to repose itself on the breast of the beloved; or in silent adoration to bend before his throne, and in tenderness pour forth itself in mental prayer, or praises; but to address him verbally with awful reverence and diffidence, knowing it is presumption so to do but from the movings of his Spirit. If it be long deprived of his presence, it seeks him sorrowing; but as it advances in experience, is cautious of disclosing its condition (as in the night) to the various reputed watchmen; lest by unveiling to the unregenerated the secret conflicts it endures, they, either through uncharitableness or unskillfulness, wound instead of heal; or direct it to other objects, instead of informing it where to find him whom it seeks.

These observations occurring to my mind, I hope you will receive them in gospel love, in which I think they are communicated. I now conclude, with desiring that if any instability has appeared in your conduct, you may for the future keep more close to the divine Guide; that you may be clothed with wisdom and strength, and witness salvation and peace to attend you. I am your real friend,[4]

Catharine Payton.

Dudley, 16th Third month, called March, 1752.

This winter I found my mind drawn in the love of Truth to visit the meetings of Friends in London, and experienced true peace in the discharge of that duty. My service was acceptable to Friends, and I returned home in thankfulness of heart to the Lord, unto whom is due the praise of all his works. I lodged with my former schoolmistress, Rachel Trafford, who now rejoiced in receiving me as a minister of Christ.

Thus far have I written as things have been revived in my remembrance, having made few or no minutes, while on my journeys, of my labours and exercises; but in my next journey, which was into Scotland, my mind seemed directed to make some remarks as I went along; which, as they are expressive of the nature of my service, and the manner wherein divine Wisdom led me in the various changes of seasons, I insert almost entire.

Chapter III.

Goes into Scotland in the work of the gospel—Visits the meetings of Friends there and some meetings in England—Prospect of paying a religious visit in America—Letter to Mary Peisley and her reply.

On the 3rd of the fourth month, 1752, new stile, we went to Colebrookdale, and had a meeting there the same evening, in which we had good satisfaction: the testimony of Truth flowed to the youth, some of whom were carried away with the vanities of this world, and the tender seed of life in them was oppressed.

The 4th, we went to Shrewsbury, and that evening, accompanied by some Friends of the town, visited two Friends who were imprisoned for tithes: in which visit we were favoured with the flowing of the refreshing streams of divine love, wherein the spirits of some of us were united and comforted.

The 5th, being the first of the week, we attended two meetings in that town. In the morning, the testimony of Truth was in a good degree set over the minds of the people of other societies as well as of our own; although there is in this place a dark spirit; but the Lord was graciously pleased to bear our spirit above it.

In the afternoon, many people of other societies came in; but it consisted with infinite Wisdom to disappoint their expectations; and as I abode in silence, I had peace. I thought the cause of this trial might be an example to one of that place, who was forward to minister, but without divine authority.

In the evening we again visited the prisoners; and the 6th, went towards Warrington, and so proceeded the 8th and 9th to the quarterly meeting at Lancaster; wherein I thought the expectation of the people was considerably towards me, who was a stranger in the country; under which I suffered, but patiently bore my testimony in silence; being deeply affected with a sense of the prevalence of that spirit which would exalt the creature. I was refreshed under the ministry of that deep and experienced servant of Jesus Christ, John Churchman of America, whom, with his companion John Pemberton, we met at this place.

The 11th, we went to Kendal, where the quarterly meeting for Westmoreland was held; wherein John Churchman had good service, but I was still pretty much silent; in which dispensation I felt the refining power of the Almighty near, and was sensible of its service, in emptying my soul of old things, and preparing it for the fresh reception of the openings of Truth.

The 13th, in company with John Churchman, and many other Friends, we set forward for the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which was held this year at Carlisle. In our way there myself and companion staid a meeting at Penrith, which was previously appointed by Kendal Friends, and was attended by many people of other societies; and I believe would have been of good service, had it not been for some, with whom discerning Friends had not unity, intruding into the service of the ministry.

At Carlisle, my spirit was set at liberty, and I laboured weightily, and was much favoured in the enlargement of Truth. There seemed a great struggle between the two powers of light and darkness, and what greatly added to the exercise of sensible Friends was, that the power of darkness discovered itself in the appearance of ministry, through some deluded spirits; but, through divine favour, Truth had the ascendency.

We staid at Carlisle over the next first-day, in which time we visited several families of Friends to satisfaction. The meetings on first-day were attended by many of the town's people, and we were favoured with an evidence of being in our proper place and service, which was renewed cause of thankfulness.

From the 20th to the 23rd, we visited several meetings in Cumberland, wherein the expectation of the people was great; but my satisfaction and rejoicing stood in abiding with the seed of God, which being oppressed in the souls of some professors of Truth, the testimony of it did not rise in such authority, as at some other times.

The 24th, we went a long day's journey to Kelso in Scotland, at which place my spirit was sorely distressed on account of Truth's being almost forsaken by its professors, who were but few in that town. We got some comfort in visiting a sick Friend, whose son and husband we thought in a hopeful way.

The 27th, we went to Ormston, and in the way there, my mind was drawn to the eastward; but when we came to our quarters, I could see but little likelihood of getting, any assistance in visiting the people that way.

The 28th, we had a meeting at Ormston, which was exceedingly crowded, but satisfactory. Being still thoughtful about the people to the eastward, John Christy, at whose house we lodged, told me that if I would stay till the 30th, he would accompany me to any place I should choose; which I was free to do, and we went to North Berwick, where I knew not that any meeting of Friends had been held before.

We had a dark spirit in some to encounter, before we could get a place to meet in, but at last we got a large granary. My spirit was inexpressibly loaded before meeting, but in patience bent towards the centre of its strength, in which state I went to the meeting. There came many people, and I admired at the solidity of their behaviour. The Lord was with us, and exalted the testimony of his Truth, and we left the town in great satisfaction, and I hope true thankfulness.

We returned that night to Ormstoh, and the next day, the 1st of the fifth month, went to Edinburgh, where we lodged at William Miller's.

We attended the meetings in that city on the next first-day. That in the morning was pretty large, there being very few who profess with us in that city, and although cloudy in the beginning, yet the Almighty was pleased to favour in the conclusion, in exalting the testimony of his Truth. In the afternoon the house was exceedingly crowded, and the people very unsettled; but after a long time of exercise, life rose measurably, wherein the spring of gospel ministry was opened.

The 5th, we went to Linlithgow, where was no meeting of Friends. We got a small meeting in an inn with the town's people, which was low, though not quite dead; and returned at night to Edinburgh, having travelled about twenty-eight Scotch miles that day. In the morning before I set out, I found myself very poorly, and in the journey I got worse, and the next day still worse; yet I attended a meeting which was appointed for the professors of Truth only, whose states were mostly distressing, a libertine spirit having carried away the youth, and an easy indifferent one prevailed amongst those further advanced in years; both which were spoken to.

My illness still increased, and, proving a fever, reduced me to a state of great weakness, and I experienced much poverty of spirit; but my frequent petition to the Almighty was for patience, and he was pleased to favour me with quietness and resignation.

The 25th, we went from Edinburgh towards the north. I was still very weak, but gradually gathered strength, and was encouraged to press forward; which I did as far as there were any meetings of Friends, and returned to England by way of Perth and Glasgow. The number of Friends in Scotland is small, and the life of Truth low in some of them; but among the few, there are some who stand as monuments of the divine power, in this barren and almost desolate land; wherein, however, there is an open door in many places, to preach the gospel to those not professing with us.

From Glasgow we went to Carlisle without holding any meetings. The first night we lodged at Stirling, where my “Spirit was exercised respecting the holding of a meeting; but having only one young man with us, not the most steady as a Friend, and it appearing to be a high professing place, I allowed cowardice to prevail, which occasioned future distress: there was time enough for an evening meeting after we came to our inn; and I think the landlord would have granted us his large dining-room.

In the morning we proceeded forward, a long day's journey, and dangerous roads; lodged at a very poor lonely Scotch inn upon a chaff bed; our bed-room a ground floor, and no fastening to the door; and there being men in the house drinking, we were not quite easy with our situation, but through divine favour, we went to sleep, and were preserved from harm.

We rode through much heavy rain from Glasgow to this place, which had swelled the river Erisk so much, that it was not thought safe to attempt to pass it the night we came there; but next morning we crossed it in two branches: it had a dreadful appearance, the water looked very muddy, the stream wide, deep, and rapid; but we had careful guides, and through favour of Providence got safely over the 17th of the sixth month, and came to Carlisle the same day.

And here I may note to the honour of Scotland, that in all the time I was in it, I do not recollect hearing an oath or a curse uttered, (except the word faith might be accounted an oath, which was spoken by a soldier.) Alas! for England! the streets of whose towns echo with most profane language, to the shame and condemnation of its magistrate?, as well as its wicked inhabitants. At Carlisle I parted from my companion, who was concerned to visit some of the northern counties, and I, to attend the quarterly meeting at York; where I came the 22nd, taking meetings in my way, at Penrith, Raby, and Haby. The last being a monthly meeting, was pretty large, and I believe many souls were refreshed therein: the testimony ofTruth rose in considerable strength and clearness; and the meeting concluded in a sense of heavenly sweetness, which was again renewed in the women's meeting. My spirit was humbly bowed in thankfulness, that my lot was cast there that day.

At York I met with my dear friend Ann Fothergill from London, and many other friends whom I dearly loved, who were glad to see me returned to my native land, the more so from a report having prevailed in England, that I was dead.[5] My mind was turned to consider the wonderful loving-kindness of Providence manifested in this journey; and, considering my weak state of health through a great part of it,' I thought it miraculous that I should so soon accomplish it; such a fatigue seeming no way proportioned to my strength. But with God all things are possible; therefore have his servants cause to' trust in his holy arm of power.

The quarterly meeting at York was mercifully attended with the presence of the Master of our solemn assemblies; the testimony of Truth was exalted, and the spirits of his people united in gospel fellowship.

The 25th, I went to Malton, accompanied by my dear friend Sarah Taylor of Manchester. We had a meeting there that evening, and the 26th went to Scarborough, and that evening visited a young man, who I thought was near his end; but we had little to say to him, his condition being lamentably stupid. I thought intemperance was the cause of his indisposition, and found afterwards I was not mistaken. O! the deplorable effects of this degrading vice on the body, soul, and temporal substance, of numbers who unhappily indulge in it; whose faculties are debased below those of the brute animals; and so stupified as not to be roused to the most important work of their souls salvation.

It lays men open to every temptation, and reduces many from opulent circumstances to extreme poverty. It is destructive of every delicate social enjoyment; it often emaciates the body, deprives the soul of its highest good, the divine Presence, while in time; and if continued to the end of it, finally excludes it from Christ's pure kingdom of everlasting bliss. Alas! that men should indulge in it to their shame.

Solomon says truly, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise;” again, “Who has woe? who has sorrow? who has contentions? who has babbling? who has wounds without cause? who has redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine, that go to seek mixed wine. Look not you upon the wine when it is red, when it gives his colour in the cup, when it moves itself aright. At the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like an adder.”[6]

The 27th, being first-day, we attended the meetings. In the morning, we were much favoured with the evidence of Truth in our service: several were there not of our Society who behaved well, and I believe went away satisfied. My concern was to show them the difference between true and false faith, and the tendency of each; with some other truths, which immediately opened in my understanding. In the afternoon, the meeting was large, but the Lord saw fit to disappoint the expectations of the people, and manifest both to them and us, that without him we can do nothing in his service; for neither of us had a word to say to them but I was concerned in supplication, and was abundantly rewarded, in submitting quietly to this dispensation of divine Wisdom. In the evening, we visited two Friends who could not attend meetings, by reason of age or indisposition; and next morning, another Friend in a very low state of mind, with whom we had a good opportunity, and left him better than we found him; and I afterwards heard that from that time he was restored. That afternoon we departed in peace from Scarborough, and returned to Malton, so to York, Leeds, Rawden, Bradford, and Halifax; in all which places I met with a share of exercises, and, I thought, was mostly very low in the ministry; but had the consolation to believe that what I stammered out, was suited to the states of the people which is a proof of true ministry.

The 7th of the seventh month, we came to Manchester, where I left Sarah Taylor; the 10th, I went to Warrington, and had a meeting there that evening, wherein I was silent as to testimony.

The 11th, I went to Liverpool; in my way stopped to take some refreshment at Prescot, and found my mind exercised for the people of that town, wherein there was no meeting of Friends; but went on for Liverpool, and next day was at two meetings there, and visited a Friend in distress, in all which I had good satisfaction.

In the evening, finding a concern for Prescot still to remain, I proposed to Friends, having a meeting there the next morning, in my way to Warrington; which, though some difficulty was started, was accomplished, and a blessed opportunity it was; the Lord's power being largely revealed, and the people behaving solidly, although I suppose, a meeting of Friends had not been held in the town for very many years. In the evening, I had a meeting in Warrington.

The 14th, I went to Morley, my dear friend Samuel Fothergill and several other Friends accompanying me, and several others meeting us from Manchester: and the Lord, in his wonderful mercy, was pleased to open the fresh spring of his love, and favour us with a sweet opportunity together therein: in a thankful sense whereof we parted from each other and I came by way of Stafford and Atherston, home the 20th, where I was gladly received by my dear and worthy mother, etc. After some little time of settlement, my mind was directed to take a view of my late journey, in the course whereof I discovered the wonderful lovingkindness of God largely manifested; but was for a time much distressed on account of not having had a meeting at Stirling, as before hinted: under which distress my soul ardently desired that for the future I might be careful to discharge my duty; for I found it a heavy burden not to be clear from the blood of the people.

In a few weeks after my return from this journey I went to our quarterly meeting at Shipston; which was eminently favoured with the presence of the Most High, In the fall of the year I was obliged to accompany my sister to Bath, for the benefit of her health; in which city I was the most affectingly dipped into a state of poverty, that ever I had known myself to be, which, being joined to great weakness of body, was hard to bear, yet I believe not without its peculiar service.

I visited Bristol meeting twice in this journey, where I was made to taste of the poverty and weakness which appear in many there, through unfaithfulness. It was indeed a time of mourning to the servants of the Lord, while those who were the cause of it required of them a song; but they were constrained for the most part to bear their burdens in solemn silence.

At Bath I suffered much under a libertine spirit, which was very apparent both amongst those who professed Truth, and others in that place. I had several testimonies of close reproof to bear to Friends, and some pretty open service with strangers in town, and upon the whole had cause of thankfulness administered; the Lord rewarding my faithfulness and sufferings with peace in the end; and I returned home in a much better state of health than I left it; the use of the waters having been of service to me, though of little to my sister. But now another trial of faith came upon me, which was the near approach of a visit to Friends in America, which had appeared in prospect for about a year; with an apprehension that I must go with my dear friend Mary Peisley, who I believed was preparing for that service: yet I never gave her any hint of accompanying her, being desirous that if it must be my lot, it might be evidently pointed by the finger of Providence.

On my return home I received a letter from her, wherein she desired to be informed, whether I knew of any woman Friend going to America from England, and hinted her concern for that quarter of the world. This stuck closely to my mind, yet I kept it to myself for several weeks, and then communicated it to my dear mother, who heard it with a becoming resignation, telling me it was not entirely unexpected to her.

And although it was exceedingly hard, to the natural part in her, thus to part with me in her declining years; especially as she so tenderly loved me as a child, as well as in the Truth; she freely gave me up to the divine requiring, earnestly desiring that the Lord might be my director and preserver.

Upon this I wrote to my dear friend Mary Peisley. Some extracts of my letter to her, with her answer, follow.

Catharine Payton to Mary Peisley.

My Dear Friend,—It is not because I forgot your affectionate request of hearing from me soon, that I have so long postponed a reply to your last acceptable favour; but when it came here I was from home, as I hope you are already advised by a few lines I wrote from Bath, and the sequel of this will discover my reason for not writing you immediately on my return.

With pleasure I observed that your health was better than heretofore, and hope the blessing is still continued, so that by the assistance of heavenly goodness, you have been and still may be capable to perform the duty required, with a degree of ease and cheerfulness, to which a good share of health greatly contributes; although it must be confessed with humble gratitude, that the Lord is to his servants strength in weakness of body as well as mind.

What we have seen of the exaltation of his arm of power in this respect, may encourage us to perseverance, and a steady dependency thereon; and silence the voice of nature, which sometimes insinuates that we are not able to perform what is required; for we have good cause to believe nothing is impossible with Him who has called us; but, through his power communicated, we may perfectly perform his will. And suppose our race to be attended with weakness, pain, anxious concern, travail of soul, and inconvenience to the body; can it ever equal the incomparable sufferings of the Captain of our salvation? Oh! how does the consideration of the tribulated path he invariably trod, stifle the pleadings for ease and pleasure? For, shall we who dare to aspire to no higher title than servants, expect to be better accommodated than was our Lord? Shall, we supinely settle in the outward possessions afforded us, when he laboriously trod the wine-press alone, and that for our sakes? He was destitute of a place of residence, and had not where to lay his head, though Lord of all; and although he could limit the power of Satan, yes, totally bind him, yet permitted the contradiction of sinners against himself, as well as a series of deep temptations. Let us be united to the sufferings infinite Wisdom allots, remembering the blessing dropped on such as endure afflictions.

I know to whom I am writing, and believe that you are much farther advanced than myself in this glorious resignation to the divine will; but thus much I may say, that, as I have seen, in a degree, into this happy state of constant devotion, I ardently desire to be made a partaker therein.

I rejoice to find that unity and sympathy of spirit, which so remarkably attended us when present, subsist now absent; and thought riiy wish in my last was answered in the sense you had of my state. Oh! may we both be preserved near to the Fountain of life, and then we must be near each other in the fellowship of the gospel, which distance of space cannot hinder, nor time efface; but it will centre with our spirits in that unchangeable state of felicity we humbly hope for.

I now come to answer your last request, which will show the cause of my silence, that is: Whether I knew of any woman Friend who was going from England to America. I told you I had a hint of _______'s inclination, the same I had of _______, but know not that either is more than supposition, for I do not hear that either are preparing to set forward, and have heard of no one else.

But my dear friend, I am almost at a loss to find terms to express the laborious thought which has possessed my soul; for it seems to me; that Providence designs I should accompany you; unto which, if way may be made for me, and an unquestionable evidence given that it is right, I am at last resigned; although it be but to be a servant of servants; but He only knows who discovers the inward struggle between flesh and spirit, with what reluctance I shall, if it must be so, part from my dear relations, especially my dear and honoured mother, to whom I have communicated the painful thought. She heard it with becoming resignation, being determined to give me up to the divine requiring; only desires to be convinced it is such, which I hope is but an allowable request. I have waited to have the thing a little settled on her mind, and she yesterday gave me leave to inform you of it.

And now my dear friend, I entreat you to weigh it well, and as disinterestedly as possible, and give me your thoughts thereupon with all the freedom which our friendship and the nature of the case require, not concealing one doubt; for I am exceedingly afraid of being deceived, and would willingly be convinced, if this appearance is but for the proving of my submission. But however it may be, I find peace in standing resigned, and trust my good Master will rightly conduct me.

Notwithstanding what I have before said, if any companion offers with whom you have freedom to join, pursue your journey, and leave me to Providence, who, I believe will take care of me.

Some extracts of Mary Peisley's letter to Catharine Phillips, in answer to the foregoing.

My Dearly Beloved in the Lord,—This goes with the salutation of my best love, and may inform you, that I received your two very acceptable favours of the tenth and twelfth month. The last came first to hand, for I did not get that from Bath till last week; yet was it very acceptable to me, and a stronger confirmation of what you mentions in the latter part of your last being right, if my concern is so. For the baptism you there describes as into a cloud of darkness, bears a just resemblance to what my spirit passed through, before I had a distinct discerning of the near approach of the journey which is now before me: and agrees with the experience of that great instrument John Churchman, as he wrote to me before he had any knowledge of my concern, but what he received by sympathy; which was some strength to me, and what I greatly desired. Your last came to hand about two weeks after its date, which I should have answered sooner, but that I waited for his answer, being willing to comply with your request[7] in consulting him, which I had not done before: and notwithstanding his writing as he did; his reply was, “That he had thoughts of my being under such an exercise, and therefore my letter was not surprising to him; but that he had little to say to it, well knowing that it is safe for us all to attend to that divine instruction which can alone make truly knowing in our least acceptable services at home, as well as the most weighty we may be called to abroad;” but what he did say was very edifying, and although the concurrence of such as he is what we must naturally desire; yet to our own Master we must stand or fall.

I find it a great trial to my poor father to part with me, but the thoughts of your going with me has made it much easier to him; and for my part I may acknowledge it as a favour, neither looked for, nor expected; it being like forbidden me to take any thought about a companion, as well indeed it might, when my kind, good Master was providing so agreeably for me. To my kind and good Master I owe first and chief my hearty thanks, for all the benefits received from secondary causes.

But you may remember, my dear, though I wrote to you to know if any Friend from your nation was likely to go, it was not by way of querying for a companion; but it springs in my heart to say, “You are the woman,” and I really believe the thing is of the Lord; and as we abide in his counsel, I firmly hope that he will bless us together, and make his work to prosper in our hands, if our eye be but single to his glory, seeking, hoping, nor desiring, anything but the advancement thereof: and I can assure you my dear friend, notwithstanding the love I have for you in the Truth, and the affection which I bear to your person, with the likeness of souls I had discovered; yet, did I feel any obstruction or doubt in my mind of the thing's being right, I dare not conceal it from you, nor take one step knowingly, out of the light and counsel of Truth, in so important an affair. It is just with me to say, “Tempt not the Lord your God,” in seeking more strong and convincing manifestations than he may see fit to give you: but be willing to go in faith, leaning on your staff; for I must tell you, I think I have brought sufferings on myself for so doing; for, since the time that it was clearly manifested unto me as a duty, till within these few weeks, I have been peaceably resigned; in which state was favoured with great tranquillity of soul, which made me look on the difficulties and dangers of the journey, with such eyes, that I began to fear that I had a will to go, and set my face against it, till I had a further manifestation of its being right.

And here nature began to please itself with many pleasing prospects in my stay; and the enemy was at hand to suggest that the former manifestation was but to try my love and obedience; and here I lost faith, and without it could no more think of going than of removing mountains. Thus did the enemy work as in a mystery, till my spirit was brought into such darkness and distress, as is better felt than expressed.

I am now again, by the mercy of God, and by that faith which is his gift, fully resigned without any further manifestation; than in looking that way wherein I see a little light, peace and comfort to my poor soul; arid in turning any other, fear, pain, and darkness, meet me.

Thus, my friend, have I given you a short but true account of the dealings of the Lord with my soul; which has been the cause of my silence till this day, for the forepart of this letter was written more than three weeks ago, but could not find strength to finish it till now; yet in all that trying season had no doubt of your concern being right. Ah! what states and dispensations must we pass through, who are fitting to speak of the Lord's wonders which are seen in the deeps! If it be my lot to go, the way which now seems pointed to me is, to spend some time in Dublin: to go from there with Friends to the yearly meeting at London; and, when clear of that city, to take shipping from there: this I hope will be acceptable to you, but if you have any call to Ireland before you goes, let not this prevent you.

After the receipt of this letter I continued to make preparation for the journey, my way being open both in the minds of my relations and friends; though it was a trial to both to part with me.

Chapter IV.

Embarks for America—Voyage to Charleston, South Carolina—Letter to her brother Henry—Travels through the Southern, Middle, and Eastern States—Sails for Dublin—Returns home

On the 4th of the sixth month, 1753, I took an affecting and affectionate farewell of my dear mother and relations, leaving her and them to the protection of Providence; and went, accompanied with my sister Ann, to Worcester. I was at a monthly meeting there the next day, which was laborious and exercising, some Friends being sunk into a state of indolence, and though sometimes favoured with a feeling sense of divine good, not quickened thereby to action in the affairs of the Church: thus the visitation of heaven is rendered fruitless, while the things of this world are pursued with industry and ardency. Against this spirit, I, with some others, had to testify in close doctrine and advice; and, although the meeting was dull and painful in the beginning, it ended m a sweet living stream of supplication and praise: in which the living present, committed each other into the hands of the Almighty for preservation.

In the women's meeting, I endeavoured for a regulation, that our Christian discipline might be revived, for which a concern had rested upon my mind for some years: and some women Friends of this city being under a like exercise, it afforded a comfortable hope, that the Lord would qualify instruments for this service. In the evening, the visitation of infinite Goodness was renewed to us, and to a few Friends who came to visit us at my dear friend Ashby's, in the sense of which we parted.

The 6th we went to Evesham, where we were met by my brother James, and several Friends from Ireland, who were going to the yearly meeting at London. We stayed over the monthly meeting there the next day, and so proceeded on our journey, Ann Ashby going forward with us, and reached London the 9th, where I met with my dear friend and companion, Mary Peisley.

The yearly meeting was large, and attended by many weighty Friends; who were divinely assisted to labour for the promotion of Truth, and the ordering of the affairs of the Church.

My brother and sister left me in London; and, my companion Mary Peisley having a concern to attend the meetings at Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich, I spent a little time at Chelmsford, at the house of John Griffith, the state of my health and spirits being such as seemed to call for rest and quiet, and returned to London in about two weeks. Being still poorly in health, I went to the country house of my worthy friend John Hayward, accompanied by Ann Fothergill; where I was indisposed, and confined to my bed and the house, for about a week. Recovering a little strength, I returned to London; where the disorder returned, and continued for nine or ten days; and being succeeded by the jaundice, it brought me very low; but through the kindness of Providence, I was preserved patient and resigned under this dispensation. In this time my companion returned to London, but did not find her way open to leave England; so that my trials were increased with the prospect of being longer detained, and at a distance from my dear relations. But infinite Wisdom knows best how to plan out the way for his people, the secret workings of whose Providence I thought I clearly discovered, in this succession of probations being permitted to attend me where they did. Had it been at home it would have been much more afflicting, both to my relations and myself; as it would have rendered their parting with me in such a weak state of health the more painful, and my leaving home the more difficult: no, I have questioned, if I had not left it as I did, whether, considering the discouragement, I should have gone the journey. Nor was my indisposition without a singular service; for my health had languished under the oppression of the remains of the fever which I had at Edinburgh; which by this disorder were, in a good measure, carried off, and my body the better prepared to sustain the fatigues and trials of the ensuing journey, arising from the difference of climate, etc. So that in this painful allotment, I had' renewed cause to bless and praise the name of my God, and to acknowledge, that whatever he does is best.

Almost as soon as I recovered strength to get abroad, the cloud dispersed; and we found our spirits at liberty to take our passage on board the Alexander, Captain Curling, bound from London to Charleston, in South Carolina; which sailed in about a week after we agreed to go in her. The last first-day we were in London, we were favoured to take a comfortable farewell of many of our friends, in the feeling sense of divine goodness; wherein also, we were enabled to resign and commit each other into the hands of the Almighty for preservation.

We left London the 21st of the eighth month, 1753; and, as our vessel was to stop at Portsmouth to take in some of her passengers, our friends thought it best for us to go there by land: which we did, and several of them freely accompanied us.

We came to Portsmouth the 24th, and went on board our vessel the 25th, where we took leave of our friends with affection. Being settled in our vessel, a sweet composure came over my spirit; which strengthened my faith that I was moving by divine direction.

The next day the wind turned against us, and we came to an anchor in Yarmouth Road, Isle of Wight. Being first-day, we were a little thoughtful about having a meeting with the passengers; but one of our company being a clergyman, and the ship's crew busy in settling the vessel, we concluded it would not be very easily obtained, and were content in sitting together in our own apartment; during which time the parson got some of the people together in the great cabin, and read prayers to them.

I had purposely left our room door open, in order that, if any duty presented, I might have an opportunity of performing it; and after they had done, I found a concern to call upon the Lord in humble supplication, to which I gave up; but a part of the company went on deck, being I supposed exampled by their teacher; however I was favoured with a pretty satisfactory opportunity, and the strengthening evidence of peace in the conclusion.

The 27th, we set sail, and passed the Needles the 28th. The 29th, the wind came against us, and blowing hard we anchored in the evening in Portland Bay, where we lay till the 3rd of the ninth month; when we set sail, and got clear of the land the 5th; from which time we were mostly favoured with gentle favourable winds, till we came near the coast of South Carolina.

The 18th of the tenth month, we got into soundings; but the wind blowing very hard, and the sea running high, our captain dared not attempt to go over Charleston bar, so stood off, in hopes the wind might fall; but instead of that it turned against us, and continued to blow very hard till the 22nd: all which time we lay with our helm lashed, driving with the wind.

The 22nd, the sea and wind fell very much, the weather, which in this time had been very foul, cleared up, and the wind became favourable, we got within sight of land; but it being to the southward of our designed port, the captain tacked about to the northward, hoping thereby to gain so much in the night as to be able to run in with the tide in the morning; but we were again beaten back to sea by a contrary stormy wind.

Thus were we tossed to and fro, almost within sight of our harbour; but through prevailing grace our minds were wonderfully preserved above either fear or complaint, enjoying a calm within, in the midst of a storm without; being happily resigned to suffer in this way, if it were the Lord's will so to appoint: which blessed disposition, attended us through the voyage, and helped to alleviate our bodily hardships, which would otherwise have appeared considerable.

We were sea-sick, though not so extremely as we expected; and we suffered much from the excessive heat of the weather, steering within one- degree, as far south as the tropic of Cancer; in which latitude I believe we continued nearly three weeks, being becalmed; and, neither I nor my companion being very strong, nature had a considerable struggle, to surmount the expense of spirits we sustained. But we had cause to be thankful that we escaped a violent fever, which frequently seizes those who pass through this climate, and have been used to one much colder.

During the storm, the seams of our vessel, being opened on the side where we lay, let in the wet, and our apartment was in a manner flooded. My bed was so wet that I could not lie in it, so I threw myself down for several nights upon some blankets in a birth in the great cabin, and slept better than I could have expected; but the spray of the sea drove upon it even there, and my linen was so damp, that I esteemed it a singular mercy I was not exceedingly ill.

Indeed we were both of us brought very low, but recruited again as the weather cleared up; which it did the 24th, and we set sail in the evening. The 25th got our pilot on board, who intended that night to run as near the bar as prudent, and wait for another tide to carry us into port. But here we apprehended ourselves to be in imminent danger; for, the man who sounded mistaking; the length of the line which he let go, the vessel ran too far before they dropped anchor; so that we lay all night in very shallow water, so near, if not upon the breakers, that had the wind sprung up fresh, it seemed questionable our' having room to turn the vessel from them, when the anchors were weighed: but the Lord preserved us, and we landed at Charleston the 26th in the morning, under a grateful sense of his merciful Providence having attended us through the voyage. We were upwards of nine weeks on ship-board.

We had several meetings while on shipboard with the sailors and passengers, who were of different countries. There was a South Carolina woman and her negro maid, a man and his wife, the one a German and the other a Swiss; a Scotch schoolmaster, our captain and his brother of French extraction, if not born in France.

Our first meeting was with the sailors and steerage passengers, on the afternoon of the first-day wherein we lay at anchor in Portland Bay. The priest, in the morning, read prayers to the cabin passengers, but took no care for the others on board. The captain offered us the cabin to meet in, but we rather chose to go to them in the steerage; from which the priest would have dissuaded us, by telling us, they would be likely to insult us; but, on our sending a message to the sailors that we intended them a visit, they returned for answer, that though they had not had college education, they should be glad to hear the word of God, and would readily admit us. The meeting was attended with a good degree of solemnity, and afforded satisfaction to ourselves. My companion was favoured in testimony suited to the states of the people, and I was graciously admitted to supplicate the Lord for them.

Our other meetings were held in the cabin, which we had the use of for that purpose on the afternoons of the first-days, as the parson had, in the mornings. They were generally attended by most of the passengers and some of the sailors; but there being but little entrance for the word, made it hard labouring among them. We were, however, favoured with peace, in endeavouring to promote their good; and blessed with the incomes of divine life in our own souls, not only on those occasions, but at many other times: so that it was a season to be had in lasting remembrance, with thanksgiving to the Lord, whose good presence accompanied us when on the mighty ocean, and rendered our separation from our dear relations and friends easy.

The parson, observing that in our ministry, we spoke extempore, told me that he could preach extempore, and we should hear him if we pleased the next Sunday, Accordingly when the day came, we were all seated in the great cabin, and he preached without notes.

His subject was the transfiguration of Christ, which he found a wonder,—expatiated upon it as a wonder,—and left it a wonder; without entering into the spirituality of the text: indeed I doubt he did not understand it.

From this time he read prayers and preached on first-day mornings, when the weather permitted, and some times we sat in the cabin with them; and although the inconsistency of their prayers and professions with their own states, as well as of the manner of their offering them, with the nature of the solemn duty of calling upon the Lord, joined to the priest's laboured, dry discourses, could not but painfully affect us; yet in the time of their worship, the Almighty by his power broke in upon our spirits, and bowed them in contrition before himself: so that, in the enjoyment of his goodness, we had a silent testimony to bear to that living worship which he inspires, and accepts.

And although both by word and conduct we differed from the priest, we heard that when he came on shore he spoke well of us, acknowledging that we had been instruments of good to him; and particularly that my companion had convinced him of the evil of gaming; which he appeared to like while on the voyage, but which we also heard he afterwards preached zealously against, as well as other vanities.

Indeed he became much changed, and while in Carolina appeared conscientiously concerned for the people's welfare. Some time after we left America he returned to England, and I think I heard that the people did not like his close doctrine.

To my brother Henry Payton, written on board the Alexander, 6th of the Tenth month, 1753, at sea. Lot. 25° North.

Dear Brother,—Heretofore when absent, I have been easy in remembering you with sincere desires for your welfare; but now a desire of writing to you taking place, I am unwilling to stifle it, were it only for this reason, that I would do all that is justly in my power, to strengthen that affection which ought to subsist between persons so nearly allied in nature.

But alas! when I consider the difference of our affections, pursuits, and sentiments, in right and wrong, I am fearful to set pen to paper, lest I should not be read with candour and understanding; yet am again encouraged to this conclusion, that you will at least receive it as the effect of my regard for you. Regard, did I say? I will alter the term to affection; which I have felt gently to spring in my soul towards you; not only as to a creature formed by the same Almighty hand as myself, and for the same noble end, namely, to glorify him who gave us being, and who has loaded us with a multitude of his favours, which loudly call for a grateful return; but, as to a brother who has strayed from the path of peace and safety, and is seeking satisfaction in the grasp of empty bubbles; which have assumed the form, in his sight, of something substantial. But your own experience, if impartially traced, will tell you, they have broken when touched, and dispersed in air; leaving nothing real behind them, but keen remorse, and the painful remembrance that they are lost, with all the time, pains and anxiety, bestowed in the pursuit of them. Yet in this idle solicitude, (O! affecting but too just charge!) has a great part of your life been spent; ardently traversing the destructive mazes of delusive pleasure, and industriously avoiding the One only Good, in the possession of which your soul might have found substantial happiness: a happiness which would have afforded true contentment, in. which is conveyed that fulness of joy, which only can satisfy the immortal part, being itself immortal in its nature.

You will perhaps say that these are my sentiments. But allow me to ask you, why they are not yours? Why do we differ in opinion and practice, but because the desire and pursuit of sensual gratifications have blinded your judgment, and biassed your actions? I will venture to assert that it was the kingdom or possessions of this world, its friendships, vanities, and sensual pleasures, spread in the view of your mind, that drew it from its early love and allegiance to Him who is truly worthy of love and obedience. Nature joined with the well adapted temptation (being fond of present enjoyment, though it be forbidden fruit), and renounced submission to the pure law of grace written in the heart; which, had it been observed, would have rectified her impure and irregular appetites, and have placed you in the true state of manhood; as lord of, not a slave to, the creation; and governor of yourself, in happy subjection to the Divine will: a will which invariably points out the everlasting felicity of mankind. But, rebel to her own interest, nature, blinded by false affection, and fraught with pride, like our first parents, does not like a superior that shall control her perverseness, and prescribe laws for her direction; but rather chooses to take the reins of government into her own hand, and plan out a way for herself.

Here reason, blind fallen reason, enthroned by the power of Satan, usurps the sovereign seat, as sitting in the temple of God, being honoured as God; power, wisdom, and discretion to direct, being ascribed unto it. This false king (who, had he occupied his proper place, had made a good subject), joins in strict league with the passions, and prescribes rules directed by these his allies. “Shall man (says he) be confined within the narrow rules of virtue and religion? No, I proclaim him liberty. Let him indulge himself in what is desirable to him; let him gratify the sight of his eye, and the pride of his heart, in endeavouring to make himself agreeable to and admired by mankind; with whom let him join in full society, and free communion, entertaining and being entertained.

Why may he not partake of the pleasures of sense, seeing he has appetites for them; and satisfy his curiosity in knowing evil as well as good?

These are the genuine suggestions of the reasoning faculty guided by the passions (though I confess that I believe the subtle deceiver of mankind, sometimes teaches this reason to speak in a language more concealed than I have here set down); but I think it will be no hard matter to prove, that this boasted liberty is real bondage, and that this acquisition of knowledge is no more than a sense of guilt, resulting from the loss of that innocence which gave man boldness to appear before the face of Almighty justice and purity, void of distracting fear.

Let us examine the extent of virtue and religion, and mark every passion implanted by Providence in the nature of man; and we shall find that in them alone it is possible these should be rightly gratified, and that whenever man breaks from their bounds, he flies from the mark of his happiness.

I have looked upon love to be the governing passion in the soul, which, as it moves, draws the rest in its train, and being strongly fixed on a worthy or unworthy object, is the cause of our joy or misery. This being granted, it is next to be considered what object is worthy of our entire affection: in which search let it be remembered, that this principle of love, or desire of enjoyment, is so seated in the soul, as never to be struck from it; and it will presently be allowed, that the object that is worthy of its spending its force upon, or being united to without limitation, must not be dependent on time, for that death deprives it of; but durable as its own existence, and so perfect as fully to satisfy an everlasting desire of possession. This can be nothing else but the Eternal Excellency, from whom this spark of affection was struck; and if divine order were not inverted, it would as naturally bend towards its original as a stone to the centre, where only it can find a happy settlement. In this love of God, stands virtue; it is this inspires it. If we truly love God, who is infinite in purity and wisdom, we shall naturally hate their contraries, impurity and folly, and shall hate ourselves because of them; because whatever defiles the soul, destroys its likeness to the divine Being, and renders it unacceptable in his sight. Hence, as it is the nature of a true affection to endeavour after the love of the beloved object, proceeds an ardent desire of purification, and a filial fear of offending God; a fear the most rationally founded, in a deep sense of gratitude, considering him as the Author of all the good we possess, or can rightly hope for, i. e. everlasting felicity; joined to the knowledge of his power and justice, in punishing transgressions, which self-preservation would teach us to shun: therefore, whatever would amuse the senses, so as to draw the affection from this Fountain of goodness, is dreaded and renounced as forbidden fruit.

In religion, the soul is enlarged, and set at liberty to exercise its most noble faculty, in actions, or on an object, worthy the dignity of its nature; when on the contrary, without it, it is in bondage, and debased in the pursuit of what scarcely deserves the name of pleasure, being of no real worth or lasting duration. Religion teaches us that we do not live for ourselves only; but that in order to obtain the great end of our being, we must seek the good of mankind and endeavour to be serviceable in society; yet mix in familiar converse with caution, lest instead of rectifying the errors of others, we transplant them into our own conduct. It instructs us to beware of vain glory, or of seeking the applause of men; clothing the mind with humility, under a sense that we have no good thing but what we have received from the bounteous hand of our Creator; and raising a desire that all his gifts may be devoted to his service. In short, religion places man in the sphere the wise Author of nature designed for him; directing his affections to ascend towards the Creator, and to descend towards the creation.

If the ascent be but sufficient, the descent will be just. The creatures will be loved as the work and gifts of the Creator; yet possessed with due caution from this consideration, that they are allotted us but for an uncertain season; and that it is therefore our interest to be able to surrender them when called for, with as little pain or anxiety as is consistent with our state. On the reverse, the immoderate descent of the affections ties us down to the earth and earthly possessions, shackles us in sensual gratifications, effectually prevents the soul's ascending towards God, and destroys its deputed sovereignty over the creation, to which it is in bondage: so true is that assertion of the apostle, that while some boasted of their liberty, or promised it to others, themselves were the servants of corruption. I have sometimes considered how the excuse of these boasted libertines bespeaks their slavery. We cannot help such and such conduct, say they, or had not power to resist such temptations. If this were true, it were acknowledging that they had lost that valuable blessing, the freedom of the will; and are utterly destitute of power to withstand evil; and of consequence are the devil's captives.

Such indeed they are, though not necessarily, but voluntarily; for wisdom and power, through the grace of God, is given to man, to discover and resist the temptations of his enemy; and if he will renounce both, his blindness and subjection to the power of delusion is procured by himself, as is its miserable consequence, namely, an everlasting separation from the Fountain of all good.

You will easily perceive, that the intent of the foregoing hints is to influence your mind in favour of a more strict course of virtue, than you have formerly pursued. I will add my earnest wish that it may be answered. What shall I say to persuade you to turn, and coolly and impartially look into yourself? Shall I plead your advance in years? You are now I conclude rather in the decline of life,[8] hastening towards the gate of the garden. Oh! listen to the dictates of virtue, before she withdraw her kind invitations and profitable instructions.

Shall I beseech you by the mercies of God (a prevailing argument with a truly generous and grateful mind, and which may with great justice be particularly advanced to yourself), to return to Him from whom you have deeply revolted, and seek reconciliation by unfeigned repentance, if you can find room so to do; which I have a lively hope you may, though you have so long, and distantly, strayed from the fold of Christ.

I shall plead no excuse for the freedom with which I have here treated you, further than to say, that I think a true freedom in communicating our sentiments, with a design for each other's eternal well-being, is a part of that charity which should clothe the spirits of the followers of Jesus Christ.

The copiousness of my subject may apologize for my prolixity. Upon a review of what I have written it will readily be observed, that the hints given are but like heads of chapters, which, if fully expatiated upon, might fill a volume instead of a letter; and, that the everlasting Minister of the sanctuary may enlarge them in the view of your understanding, to lasting benefit, is the sincere and ardent desire of your affectionate sister,

Catharine Payton.

We lodged in Charleston at John Sinclair's, who was educated amongst Friends, but had married one not of our Society. Both he and his wife received us kindly, and treated ns while with them with great hospitality and generosity.

The meeting of Friends here was very small; and most of those who attended it were rather stumbling-blocks, than way-marks, to other professors of religion; yet we found a few to whom we were measurably united, and who, I believe were thankful for our visit. During our stay in this place, we were treated with great civility and kindness, by the inhabitants who did not profess with us; but we saw it necessary to be strictly guarded in our conversation with them; lest their very respectful behaviour should betray us into a familiarity injurious to ourselves. Many of them are ready to hear the testimony of Truth, but there is a certain lightness of disposition which greatly obstructs its progress amongst them; and if not carefully watched against, will infect the minds of persons who converse with them.

Many of them attended our meetings, and mostly behaved soberly in them; but what with ignorance of the spirituality of religion, a high professing spirit in some, and libertinism both in principle and practice in others, it was very hard to labour amongst them: however, the Almighty was pleased so to favour us, that we were not without hope, that the testimony given us to bear affected some minds, and in the general, commanded their assent.

We had two select meetings for Friends, and paid a religious visit to most of their families; in which service we were owned by the power of Truth, though in some places we were very closely exercised; insomuch, that one man absented himself from meeting, not liking any longer to sit under our doctrine; but we found we had rather cause to rejoice than to be uneasy, in being instrumental of separating him from the Society, if so it should prove, his conduct being a scandal to his profession, though he pretended to join it by convincement.

We took a little turn to the south of Charleston, and had meetings at James's Island, John's Island, and Stones. The first was the most satisfactory.

At Stones, we had a close exercising time in the family of a young man, whose father had formerly made profession of Truth; but he was quite gone from Friends, and I fear was tinctured with libertine principles; but he entertained us freely, and did not seem to take offence at what we had to deliver. I heard he died soon after. We had also a satisfactory opportunity with a family not professing with us, in Charleston, but whose ancestors by the father's side were Friends. It seemed as though the Almighty had sent us peculiarly to seek the lost sheep of the house of Israel: that his merciful visitation may be accepted by them, is the sincere desire of my soul.

I was engaged to return to James's Island, but, my companion having no concern to accompany me, I went alone, and had a much larger meeting than when there before: and I hope it was well that I went back, as, through divine favour, many gospel truths were opened to the people, in a degree of life and authority.

My friend John Witter of the Island, sent with me over the Sound a negro man, who was to attend me to my lodgings. He was well-dressed, and looked well-fed. I entered a little into conversation with him respecting his situation as a slave. He appeared easy in it, and said that he had a good master, but that many negroes were treated no better than dogs. Indeed we could not but lament over those poor people, as we passed through the colonies. Several of our Friends were then in possession of some negroes, either by inheritance or purchase; and the negroes who had them for masters rejoiced in their lot. But about this time a concern arose amongst Friends, to abolish slave-keeping in our Society; which concern has since prevailed in the American Colonies; and many Friends have given up large possessions in negroes, but employed many of them as hired servants after they had given them their liberty.

We left Charleston the 26th of the eleventh month, accompanied by James Verree, a young man, a Friend, residing there; and went towards a small settlement of Friends on the Wateree River, which is on the north side of the Province. They were lately come over from Ireland.

In our way we had meetings in the families of Isaac Perinoes, and John Lloyd where we lodged, who were neither of them of our Society, but they readily gave us an opportunity with them, and Truth favoured us.

Several difficulties attended us in this journey. We had appointed a Friend to meet us with horses, about a hundred and twenty miles from Charleston; and being set to a time, we dared not stay to discharge our minds of that duty of love, which seemed to point towards the people as we went along. Secondly, we had poor accommodation, especially as to lodging; some of the houses being so open to the air, that I could attribute our preservation from great indisposition, to nothing short of the immediate interposition of Providence; but as the people behaved very civilly towards us, and we enjoyed some liberty of spirit among them, it was rendered the more easy. When we came to the place where we had appointed to be met, we found neither the Friend nor the horses; and those which we brought from Charleston, being borrowed, and the Friend who came with us being earnest to return, we discharged him from any further care of us, sent the horses back with him, and concluded to stay at the house of the before-mentioned John Lloyd; who was a substantial planter, and very freely gave us an invitation thereto, till our friends from the Wateree could meet us with horses; to whom we had an opportunity of sending an account of the strait we were in, by a neighbour of theirs, whom we met at the house of this planter, and who was then going home.

However, kind Providence soon opened a way for our release. A poor Friend who lived between this place and the Wateree, and was going to Charleston with goods for the market, stopped at John Lloyd's; and seeing the circumstances we were in, left his load in John Lloyd's warehouse, and returned back with us to his own house; where we got a very poor lodging, but received it thankfully, as the best he could provide us with; and the next day he accompanied us to the Wateree, through a wilderness country, wherein it was dangerous for women to travel, by reason of the swamps and deep creeks, which are difficult and very frightful to pass; but we were mercifully preserved from hurt.

We crossed one creek upon the trunk of a tree laid from bank to bank, and the water was so deep, that if the trunk had broken, we had probably been drowned. When we got on the other side we saw it was decayed; and when our friends came over with our saddles upon their backs, we observed it bend with their weight. Our horses were driven through a part of the creek where the water was shallower, yet perhaps there it was out of their depths. Providentially, before we crossed this creek, we were met by our friend Robert Millhouse: had it not been so, I know not how the poor Friend would have got us over.

Robert Millhouse had brought horses for us, and gladly took us to his house with him. My companion's former acquaintance with him in Ireland, rendered their meeting very agreeable. We found his not meeting us according to appointment, was occasioned by our letters not reaching him timely; which had we known, our spirits might have been more at liberty to have attended the before mentioned pointings of love towards the people; but inasmuch as we had not wilfully omitted our duty, divine mercy was extended, and our minds soon became easy on that account. We came to the Wateree River the 1st of the twelfth month, and staid there till the 12th; in which time we attended Friends' meetings as they came in course, both on the first, and other days of the week, and paid a religious visit to every family of Friends in the settlement; in which service we were evidently owned by our Master; or at least my companion was so, who had most of the service in this place. The state of the Friends settled here was mostly low, as to religious experience; but some of the youth were under a divine visitation, which afforded us some comfort.

Some people not professing with us attended our meetings, and behaved soberly; but in general, the people in this part of the country were lamentably ignorant and wicked: indeed, they had very few opportunities of religious instruction, no place of worship being near; perhaps not nearer than twenty miles. Seldom, if ever, any clergyman came amongst them oftener than once a year, to sprinkle their children.

Alas! what will these pretended and hireling shepherds have to answer for? Of whom it may well be said, “They feed themselves but not the flock,” Indeed, none can feed the flock, who have not themselves been fed by the heavenly Shepherd.

Part of the time we spent here, was to me a season of deep inward trials; the enemy being permitted so to beset me, that my soul was distressed both night and day; and though sometimes a ray of hope of deliverance and preservation would break in upon it, and I was favoured with a taste of divine love; yet when that was withdrawn, I was left as weak and unable to resist him as before; so that my spirit was in inexpressible bitterness. I had very little share in the ministerial service; sometimes perhaps a few simple expressions.

But before we left the Wateree, the load was in part removed, and my spirit brought into a greater calm, in which I desired to wait the Lord's time, to be put forth to service. He had clothed me, and he had a right to strip me at his pleasure; and I could say with Job, “The Lord gave, and takes away, blessed be his name.” The incomes of his love and peace in my heart, were more to me than to be honoured before the people.

And here I cannot but again observe the various baptisms which the ministers of Christ have to pass through, in order to their being renewedly fitted to minister to the different states of the people. What deep poverty and distress, doubts, fears, and temptations. I was sometimes however in mercy admitted to taste of the cup of heavenly consolation. All is consistent with the wisdom of God, and tends to bend the mind more effectually towards Him, and to mortify the flesh with its corrupt affections; so that the spiritual life is often strengthened by these afflicting dispensations.

We bought horses at the Wateree, and accompanied by Robert Millhouse and Samuel Kelly, set forwards towards the River Pedee, where we had heard there was a settlement of Friends. We travelled through a wilderness country for several days, carrying provisions for ourselves and horses. In the day we took our repast in the woods, and at night got lodging at some planter's; who, though not of our Society, readily gave us admittance into their houses, and freely entertained us according to their manner of living: and although it was very different from what we had been accustomed to, and the lodging in some places very cold and poor, we were content and thankful to the Almighty for it, as well as for his providential care, variously manifested in preserving us from the dangers which attended us, in passing swamps, deep creeks, etc. And although we lived low, our spirits were preserved pretty cheerful, and our health, tolerable.

One particular instance of divine protection, I think worthy of commemoration. The 14th in the evening we came to a swamp, which appeared very dangerous to cross; but a friendly man on the other side directed us where to turn our horses over, and came himself and assisted us over some trees which lay across it. Having got over, we asked him how far it was to the place where we intended to lodge, and whether the way was easy to find. He told us it was twelve miles, and that the latter part of the way was intricate; and, after walking by our side a little time, he offered to conduct us, which offer we readily accepted. If he had not accompanied us, I know not but that we must have been all night in the woods; for the way being so difficult to find, and night coming upon us, we should probably have missed it; and the weather being frosty, and we unprovided either with materials to strike fire, or blankets to cover us, we should have suffered much, if we had escaped with our lives.

Our kind guide brought us to the house of James Gillespy, upon Pedee River; who was a substantial planter, and a hospitable man, I think by profession a Presbyterian. His heart seemed opened towards us. Of him we inquired after the settlement of Friends, which we had heard of, but could get no intelligence of it; yet were our minds mercifully preserved pretty easy and quiet, although we knew not which way we should steer our course from this place, being, all of us strangers in the country. In a short time, I found freedom to propose to my companion, our having a meeting in the neighbourhood; with which she concurring, we asked our kind host, before we went to bed, whether he thought we might have a religious opportunity with some of his neighbours. He made but little reply then, but in the morning told Robert Millhouse, that if we would stay till first-day, we should be welcome both to what entertainment he could give us and our horses, and also to have a meeting in his house; and he would send his servant to acquaint his neighbours. To this we assented, and spent the next day peaceably there.

On the first-day we had a meeting, which was not large, and by reason of the ignorance of the people in divine truths, was exercising to our minds. A young man, who came from the settlement of Friends which we were in quest of, being in the neighbourhood on business, and hearing of the meeting, staid to attend it. After it was over, he informed Robert Millhouse, that several families of Friends were settled about twenty miles up the river, to whom he was going the next day, and should be glad of our company. To this we readily assented, and being thus providentially instructed in our way, we next morning took leave of our kind friend James Gillespy, who had generously entertained us while at his house. We called at the house where we had appointed to meet our expected guide; but it being a very wet morning, he concluded we should not move, and was gone; however, we had got such intelligence from him of the way, that with a little more which we obtained as we went along, we found the Friend's house to which we intended to go. He was a poor man lately convinced, but he gladly received us, and freely gave us such entertainment as his circumstances would afford; which though very mean, was made easy and pleasant to us, being sweetened by the gentle flowings of divine peace in our hearts.

We found here a few newly convinced Friends, and some others under convincement; with whom we had two meetings to good satisfaction, many things suitable to their states being opened, both by way of doctrine and encouragement; and we were glad that we were thus directed to find them in this desolate spot; which was very distant from any Friends; but they were under the divine regard. They had not settled a meeting; but as our guides from the Wateree were returning home, they found them busy in building a meeting-house; and we afterwards heard that a meeting was settled amongst them.

The 20th, we left Pedee River, accompanied by John and Charles Moreman, and the two Friends who came with us from the Wateree, and set our faces towards a settlement of Friends on the Waters of Haw River.

The morning was wet when we set out and I was very poorly; but in a little time the weather cleared up, and I grew better. We rode that day about forty miles through the woods, without seeing any house; and at night took up our lodging in the woods, by the side of a branch or swamp, which afforded plenty of canes for our horses. Our Friends made us a little shed of the branches of pine-trees, on a rising sandy ground, which abounded with lofty pines. We made a large fire, and it being a calm, fair, moon-light night, we spent it cheerfully, though we slept but little. Our saddles were our pillows; and we had in company a man, who came from Pedee and was going a part of our next day's journey, whose wife had sent a blanket; which, with one our Friends had brought, being thrown at our backs upon our shed sheltered us much; so that we still saw kind Providence cared for us. In the morning we pursued our journey, and went that day about forty-five miles; and at night took up our lodging again in the woods, but did not meet with so advantageous a spot as the night before, for the ground was wet, and the shelter bad, and poor wood for firing.

The weather also being very cold, and my companion ill with a pain in her face, and myself but poorly, we spent the night very uncomfortably as to the body, but through divine favour were preserved quiet and resigned in spirit.

We set out next morning in hopes of reaching a settlement of Friends at New Garden that day; but the pain in my companion's face continuing, we thought it best to stop at William Rinald's at Polecat, who was under the profession of Truth; and the next day, being the first of the week, we had a meeting there with a few Friends, and some of the neighbours; which was exercising, yet ended in a sense of divine sweetness.

The 24th, we went to New Garden, and stayed amongst Friends in that settlement till the 28th. This was a new settlement of Friends, and we were the first from Europe that had visited them, or travelled in these parts in the service of Truth.

We had pretty close service among them, and laboured for the establishment of a meeting for ministers and elders in their monthly meetings; which we found was much lacking: and we had reason to hope that the proposition would be adopted; many Friends being convinced of its usefulness, and seemed glad that it became our concern to recommend it. We found a sincere- hearted remnant in this meeting, unto whom the Lord united us; but there was also a dead, formal, professing spirit, under which the living were sorely oppressed; as well as under a flashy wordy ministry.

The 29th, we got to Cane Creek, another new settlement of Friends; with whom we had a meeting the 30th, wherein we were rather low in our spirits.

The 31st, we went about 30 miles to a very small meeting on the river Eno, which was very exercising; for though their number was small, their states were various, and some of them widely distant from that pure, humble, living, sensible disposition which Truth produces.

And as it was the will of the Almighty, measurably to baptise us into the states of the people, we could not but suffer in spirit with his pure seed; and it seemed as though a drawn sword was delivered to us in this the beginning of our journey, which we were to use against spiritual wickedness; and not to spare, though it were exalted in high places. Here we laboured for the establishment of a weekday meeting.

The 2nd of the first month, 1754, my companion returned to Cane Creek, in order to be at their week-day meeting; and I went about six miles up the river, being engaged to have a meeting amongst a people not professing with us. Many came to it, and behaved soberly, but most of them seemed very ignorant of spiritual things; and some were heavy laden with many sins; but kind Providence so favoured me, that I left them pretty easy, and returned to my companion at Cane Creek, the 4th. The same day we had a meeting at Rocky River, which was satisfactory, and we returned to Cane Creek, and were at the first-day meeting there.

The 7th, we set out for Carver's Creek, a journey of about 160 miles, through an almost uninhabited country. We were accompanied by John Wright and J. Pigot, Friends. The accommodation we met with was very mean, but rendered easy, under a sense of our being in the way of our duty. At one place where we lodged, the room wherein we lay was exposed to the weather on almost every side, and it being a wet night, the rain beat in upon us in bed; but my mind was preserved in sweet peace, and under some sense of divine favour.

The woman of the house was of a tender spirit, and appeared to be seeking after substantial good. I had considerable freedom to speak to her on religious subjects; which she took well, and I was thankful that our lots were cast under that roof.

Another night we lay in the woods, with tolerable comfort, though the weather was cold, and the ground damp. About two hours before we stopped, as I was attempting to cross a swamp on some loose pieces of wood, one of them rolled, and threw me backward into it. One of our friends was leading me, and the other, seeing me in danger of falling, stepped behind me into the swamp, and caught me, so that I was wet but on one side, except my feet: and, although I mounted my horse immediately after putting on a dry pair of stockings, rode in my wet clothes, and lay down in them, I was preserved from taking cold. In the night two of our horses[9] strayed away from us, and our guides were obliged to leave us and go in quest of them; so that we were several hours by ourselves in this wilderness, surrounded, for aught we knew, by bears, wolves, and panthers.

Before we pitched our tent, I had been intimidated by an account which had been given me respecting the panthers infesting that quarter; one of which it was said had killed a person not very far distant from this spot; but when we were thus left, all fear was removed, and we spent the time of our friends' absence cheerfully. I went without the shelter of our shed, and renewed our fire with some wood our friends had gathered. The fire, under Providence, was probably our preservation from those ferocious animals.

It was a fine moon-light night, our friends tracked our horses' footsteps in the sand for about three miles in the way we had come, and found them feeding on some luxuriant canes. The sagacious animals probably observed them as they came to the spot where we pitched our tent, and having but poor feeding there, went back to fill their bellies. As we proceeded on our journey, some of our company discovered the track of a wild beast in the sand, which gave room to suspect that they had been near our tents in the night; but we were preserved both from their fury, and from being affrighted by their hideous howl. However, as we rode through the woods in the morning, we heard the barking of wolves at a small distance from us, but a rising ground prevented us from seeing them.

We breakfasted at a miserable inn, about eight or ten miles on our way; where we met a wicked company, who had spent the night there, and we concluded it providential that we did not press forward to lodge there; respecting which we were considering before we pitched our tent. It appeared much more comfortable to be under the open canopy of heaven, and the protection of Providence, though among the wild beasts, than among those of the human race, whose natures were so depraved as to render them more terrible and dangerous: the first only, or at least generally, assaulting mankind of necessity, or by provocation; but the last from the incitements of their depraved passions.

We went forward to Dunn's Creek, and had a small meeting, with a few under the profession of Truth; and from there to Carver's Creek the same night, being the 12th. The 13th, we had a meeting there, and the 14th, went to Wilmington, on Cape Fear River, where we had two meetings the 15th.

There are none in this place who can properly be called members of our Society, but many people came to the meetings, and behaved civilly; and the testimony of Truth ran pretty freely towards them in doctrine, reproof, and counsel; though I believe many of them were of very loose conversation. The 16th, we returned to Carver's Creek, so to Brompton, Dunn's Creek, and Cape Fear.

The 20th, we proceeded towards Perquimans River, being accompanied by our friends William Hall and B. Cooper. We calculated our journey to Perquimans at 273 miles; going across the country to visit several small meetings of Friends; amongst whom, and the people of other societies, we had some satisfactory service. No women ministers had visited part of this country before us, so that the people were probably excited by curiosity to attend some of the meetings we appointed.

We found a few seeking people in these back settlements, who had very little, even of what they esteem, instrumental help, in this wilderness country; which appears too poor for priestcraft to thrive in; but I hoped the Lord would gather some of them to faith in his own immediate instruction. In this journey we met with considerable hardships, the people amongst whom we were being very poor, their houses cold, and provisions mean. One night we lodged in a void house on the river Neuse. A man who kept a store on the other side of the river, gave us the liberty of it, sent his negroes to make us a fire, and lent us a bed and coverings for it. We were content, although our provisions were so nearly spent that we had very little to refresh ourselves with, after a hard day's journey; and we could get neither bread for ourselves, nor corn for our horses, for our money; as the man who lent us the house and bed, would let us have none, though we sent to request it.

Our friends William Hall and B. Cooper accompanied us more than 100 miles in this journey. On the 6th of the second month, we reached Perquimans River, on which, and the River Pasquotank, the main body of Friends in the province of North Carolina was settled.

Our first meeting among them was at the Piney Woods meeting-house, which was pretty large considering the shortness of the time I allowed to give notice of it; and the Lord was pleased to favour us with a good opportunity: the spirits of sensible Friends present were in a good degree settled, and I hope refreshed.

We visited two other meetings in this quarter, in one of which neither of us had much public service. There is a number of valuable Friends in this country, who were under suffering from the prevalence of a spirit of carnal ease, and also from the ministry of some who will not be restrained by wholesome counsel, wherewith a number are amused rather than profitably fed; and instead of being solidly settled in a silent exercise of spirit, they are in a continual expectation of words, and remain in sorrowful ignorance of the operation of Truth in themselves.

Here it seems necessary to go back a little, and give some account of an exercise which attended my mind, when about Carver's Creek.

It was to part from my companion, and go the lower way through Bath Town, to the county of Perquimans; but the difficulty of getting guides suitable for us both, and an unwillingness to part from my companion, considering the desolate journey she would have to go, and not being quite well in her health, determined me to accompany her; nevertheless, I stood open to be turned back when I had a suitable evidence of its being required. Here, an exercise respecting those places being again revived, and being fearful of omitting my duty, I mentioned the going back to them to my companion, who, although she was not free to accompany me, was easy with my going, and rather disposed to encourage me. Her health seemed to require a little rest, which she purposed to take at the house of our friend Thomas Nicholson of Little River, who had not long since paid a religious visit to Friends in England.

I then proposed it to Friends to set forward the 11th, and if Providence permitted, to return to their quarterly meeting in Pasquotank county; to which they only objected, that they feared the notice was so short, that they could not procure suitable companions for me. However, they resolved to mention it after the meeting on the 10th, and see if any Friend would offer to go with me, to which I agreed; but told one of the most sensible amongst them, that if the way did not pretty readily open, I dared not push much for it; which, considering the event, I was glad I had said.

After meeting, I was informed that two young men, and Rebecca Tombs, a valuable Friend, and an acceptable minister, were willing to accompany me. I did not find any objection in my mind to accepting her company, though I had not requested it; but an uncommon sense of sorrow seized my spirits; though I did not see that I ought to omit the journey, nor yet comprehend the cause of the exercise.

Next morning I took leave of my companion Mary Peisley, in pretty much the same state of mind; and after crossing Perquimans River, we rode that day to Edenton. On the road my mind became quiet, yet was low. The names of the young men who accompanied us were Nathaniel Newby and John White.

The 12th we had a meeting at Edenton, which on account of the excessive coldness of the weather was not large, and it was much disturbed by a wicked drunken man, while I was speaking; with whom, being a litigious lawyer, the town's people were afraid to meddle, lest he should have an action against them; so I was obliged to bear it, and the meeting concluded with less solemnity than I could have wished. I observed a serious looking woman in the meeting, and thought if she asked me to her house I should go; which she did, and in the evening I went, accompanied by my companion. We found both herself and her husband under a religious exercise; and several things were opened in me to speak to them, which were well received, and I left them in a good degree of peace; believing that the seasoning virtue of Truth had been felt in our conversation. There was no meeting of Friends in this town, and we lodged at an inn.

The 13th, in the morning we crossed a ferry eight miles over. The weather was extremely cold, which affected Rebecca Tombs much.

The frost was so hard, that the water in the Sound we had crossed was frozen some distance from the shore on each side, but we got through it safely. We rode about twenty-five miles, lodged at a mean inn, and next morning early we set out for Bath Town. When we had rode about seven miles, I had a fall from my horse, occasioned by the horse's starting at a bird flying out of a tree. I fell over the saddle, on my right arm, and the ground being very hard from the frost, it was much hurt; but I esteemed it a great favour that the bone was not broken. “When we came to the next inn, my companion procured some wormwood with vinegar, and bound it round my arm; and we proceeded to Bath Town, though my arm gave me much pain.

I had some thoughts of crossing the ferry here, which is four miles over, and so proceeding to Newbern; but having received this hurt, and the wind being contrary, I became inclined to have a meeting here the next day. Just as we alighted at the inn, a respectable looking man, who I afterwards found was an attorney, and lived about two miles out of town, came in; to whom I found freedom to impart our desire of having a meeting, and to consult him about a proper place to hold it in. He appeared well pleased with the proposition, and we concluded to hold it in the morning in the court-house, if the weather were warm enough to admit of the people's sitting there; if not, our landlord gave us the liberty of a room in his house. I had much pain from my arm this afternoon; but fomenting it as before, it became easier towards evening. Our meeting was attended next day by a pretty many people, most of whom behaved with sobriety; but the life of religion was scarcely so much as known by many of them; yet the Lord was pleased to open many gospel truths to them; which were delivered under a feeling sense of their low ignorant state, and I trust had their service.

After this meeting, as I was returning to my inn, my mind seemed drawn to return back to my companion Mary Peisley; and when I came to the inn, I found Rebecca Tombs, who had got there before me, seized with an ague; which brought a heavy weight of exercise upon my spirit, and I soon became apprehensive of her being removed by death. The same evening also one of the young men who came with us, was taken ill in the same way, and I was myself very poorly with a cold, which affected my head and throat. Next day Rebecca Tombs's indisposition increased, and I became very thoughtful whether I had best endeavour to remove her homewards, or continue her at Bath Town. There appeared to me danger of my incurring censure from her relations, in acting either way. I therefore concluded it best to refer it to Providence, and see what turn it would take in her own mind. In the afternoon she discovered a desire to be removed, and I found most ease of mind in acting accordingly.

I met in this town, to my surprise, with a young woman who was daughter to a principal tradesman, of the neighbourhood of Dudley. She had been my school-fellow. Her husband, whom she married in England, kept a store in this place. They seeing our afflicted situation, readily furnished us with a chaise for our return; so we prepared for going, and the attorney before-mentioned generously lent us a horse, and a negro-man to bring it back. He was at our inn in the evening. I went to him, and acknowledged his civility and kindness to us; and before we parted, we fell into a religious conversation, which I hoped might have its service. Several persons were present, one of them the sheriff of the county, who had some share in the discourse and offered his house to have a meeting in. The attorney spoke with great moderation, and made considerable concessions respecting the ceremonial part of religion, and seemed pleased with the information I gave him of the principles and discipline of Friends; which I was remarkably opened to give some account of, and we parted friendly.

After he got home, he sent me some wine to assist the friend in our journey (which necessity made an acceptable present, as we could buy none that was good in town), with a letter to request that, if I staid longer in the country than I expected, I would come to his house; which I took kindly, and suitably acknowledged his civility. I just add respecting Bath Town, that the man of the inn, though he behaved civilly to us, appeared to be of a dark ferocious disposition. One night a poor negro girl fell asleep at the top of the stairs, near our chamber door, and he seeing her there kicked her down them. The poor girl cried out, but I did not hear that she was wounded by the fall. Indeed darkness seemed to surround us in this house.

The 17th, being the first-day of the week, we set forward in the chaise, and got eighteen miles on our way and lodged at the same house of entertainment as we did when we came down; where we had very poor accommodation.

My friend was greatly fatigued, she grew much worse that night, and next morning the young man that was unwell went to acquaint her husband with her indisposition; but the Almighty did not see fit to continue her in pain till her husband came to her. Her pain was indeed extreme, and soon effected the end for which it was designed; for the 20th, in the morning, she quietly expired. From near the first of her being taken ill, she had a sense that it would end in death, and was enabled to resign herself and her near connexions into the hands of Providence. She desired me to pen some memorandums of love and advice, to her husband, children, and relations; and then said, she had nothing to do but to die. She several times expressed her satisfaction in having a clear conscience, and I was convinced of her spirit's centering in everlasting blessedness. About twenty-four hours before she departed, I was concerned to supplicate the Almighty on her behalf, that he might be pleased to mitigate her pain, and grant her spirit an easy passage out of its afflicted tabernacle—for which she expressed thankfulness; and in a short time her pain gradually abated, and her death was remarkably easy. Her disorder appeared to be pleuretic. We got her bled, and made use of such other means as our circumstances admitted; but she was averse to having a doctor, nor do I think that one would have been of any service to her.

Through this uncommon trial, my spirit was singularly preserved in patience and stability, though sometimes inexpressibly loaded. My health being but poorly, the fatigue I sustained bore hard upon me; but I was enabled to discharge my duty to my friend, and in the end witnessed the return of peace. My lodging was in the same room with her. I lay down in my clothes upon a bench by the fire-side, whereon the landlady laid something to render it the more easy. The young man who continued with us behaved with remarkable composure, patience, and affection to the Friend, who was his aunt, and I had reason to hope that the journey would be of lasting service to him.

The day she departed we got a coffin made, and put the corpse into it. While it was making, my neighbour Turton (brother to the young woman who kindly furnished us with the chaise at Bath Town) came in, and was surprised to meet me here. As we had sent back the chaise, and he was going to his sister's, he took charge of it. In the evening, I got a religious opportunity with the family at the inn; and the next morning set off with the corpse of my deceased Friend. We had procured the wheels of a cart to carry it on, and a man to drive it.

We got well to the Sound, over which we were to cross to Edenton; but before we got into the boat we met the husband of our deceased Friend, who bore the shock full as well as I expected; and it must have been great, to meet in so unexpected a manner the corpse of an endeared, affectionate wife. The same evening we crossed the ferry, and proceeded to the house of a planter, who had brought home the corpse of his[10] mother about two hour before we came into it.

The 22nd, we crossed Perquimans River, and got the corpse home; but the affecting sorrowful scene of meeting the poor motherless children, of which there were seven, and other near relations and friends of the deceased, is difficult to describe; nor shall I attempt it, as the ideas it must raise in a sensible mind, will sufficiently represent it.

That night I went to my companion Mary Peisley, and through mercy found her well at Thomas Nicholson's; and next day we went to the quarterly meeting of Friends for the province of North Carolina, held at Old Neck in Pasquotank county. The meeting was large but exercising, weakness being sensibly felt. I was favoured with a good opportunity amongst Friends, wherewith I had reason to believe the sensible part of them had unity, and were thankful for it.

The 25th, we attended the meeting for ministers and elders, and a large public meeting, which though very exercising in the beginning, ended well; for which favour we had renewed cause to bless the Almighty, who baptizes his ministers into the states of the people, and enables them to minister thereto.

The 25th, we attended the funeral of Rebecca Tombs; and the meeting was large and crowned with solemnity. After the meeting, a young man who kept the ferry at Perquimans River, desired to speak with me. When I came over the ferry with the corpse of Rebecca Tombs, he was with us in the boat, and while we were upon the water, my mind was affected on his behalf, so much, that when we landed I took him aside and spoke closely to him. What I said had such an effect, that he told me, he could do no less than acknowledge the truth of it; and withal, that his mind was so awakened thereby, that he could take no rest since. I said what then arose in my heart to encourage him to endure the chastising hand of the Lord, until his judgments had wrought their proper effect; and left him with thankfulness, that I had been made instrumental to awaken a poor prodigal to a sense of his outgoings: for such I afterwards heard he was, though the son of a Friend in good esteem.

Although I had been almost miraculously supported through the before recited trials, and had been enabled to minister to many people as I passed along in my journey to Bath Town, and my return; yet considering all the circumstances attending it, much cause for painful rumination was administered. I might naturally query whether it were right for me to turn back, as the ends I had in view, namely, the visiting a few Friends in a desolate situation, as well as having meetings at Edenton and Bath Town, were in part frustrated; and the afflicted case of the deceased friend's numerous family, who, perhaps might have been spared a little longer with them, had she not gone with me, bore so hard upon my mind, that like Jonah, I wished to die; but I quickly saw, that in so doing I erred greatly; for in that impatient state of mind I was not fit to enter into the saints' rest. After some time my mind settled in a good degree of quiet, and it appeared that perhaps the design of infinite Wisdom, in engaging me to move, as before mentioned, might, in a good degree, be answered. And as to Rebecca Tombs, she appeared to be in so weak a state when she left borne, that had she staid there, her surviving that pinching season of the weather might well be doubted.

The 26th we left the province of North Carolina, and came into Virginia, and the Lord was pleased to cause his peace so to rest upon our spirits, that we were renewedly convinced we were moving in his counsel. We had travelled upwards of a thousand miles in North Carolina, and been preserved through various jeopardies and trials, to the praise of his adorable name.

The 27th we had our first meeting in Virginia, wherein the testimony of Truth was borne in a close manner by both of us, against a dull inactive spirit, and appeared to have some present effect.

The 28th we went to Nancemond River, and visited several meetings on it, and adjacent to it; wherein we were still exercised to speak closely to the members of them; which I believe tended to the relief of the sensible part of Friends. In one of these meetings, having been closely engaged in testimony, I cautioned Friends to beware of judging me for the liberty which I took amongst them, in laying open the state of the Society, although some of other societies were present; remarking, that it was more likely to convince considerate people of the Truth, than to hear them salved over in their sins. I concluded with some short remarks and hints of advice to such as were not under our name, which I suppose had its effect on a pretty high professor of the church of England, who accidentally came into the meeting; for the next day he followed us seven miles to a meeting, wherein I was told he was much broken into tears; and the day following he came about twelve miles to another meeting; I therefore hoped that the Truth had been at work in his heart. I record this passage as an incitement to a faithful discharge of duty in the line the All-wise Director of true ministers points out. He can make effectual a few simple expressions to the gathering of those who are without; or even sanctify to them the doctrine which may be lost on the unfaithful professors of his Truth.

The 17th of the third month, we had a meeting at Surry Black Water, which was large; Friends from the neighbouring meetings, and many persons of other societies, collecting at it.

After the meeting, a pretty high professor of the church of England (his name Peter Worrel), but who for some years had been dissatisfied therewith, and had been seeking the way of Truth, sought an opportunity of conversation with us. He had followed us to several meetings, and being serious in his inquiries, and free in expressing his sentiments, he told my companion, who had had most of the service in the meetings he had attended, that he could not discover much difference between the ground of the doctrine he had heard from her, and the fundamental principles of the church of England.

I saw his state, that he heard with his bodily ears, and judged by his natural understanding, of which he had a good share, and had read much. I therefore told him, that if he would attain the knowledge of the Truth, he must not only understand the words which were spoken, but the power whereby they were given forth; for that, according to the Apostle's testimony, “The kingdom of God stands not in words, but in power,” which, with something else I said, adapted to his case, was carried home beyond my expectation. He followed us to another meeting, and then sought an opportunity with me alone; when he told me, that what I had dropped in conversation, and that day in my ministry, had so affected him, that he was now convinced that a divine power accompanied true gospel ministry, and that he thought he should join with us in society; but that he was under some discouragement on account of the degeneracy of many of our members.

I said what then arose in my heart, by way of inciting him to faithfulness; and he parted from us in much love; indeed he was remarkably changed from the time we first saw him; his very countenance bespoke him to have been with Jesus. He was silent, solid, and weighty in spirit, though before talkative and full of head-knowledge in religion. I afterwards heard well of him, and I think he settled amongst Friends.

I could not but remark on this occasion, how secretly, and almost unknown to ourselves, the Almighty sometimes makes use of us in effecting his gracious purposes: for in the meetings this man had attended, previously to our conversation with him, I was much shut up as to ministry; and my companion was favoured in the exercise of her gift; in one of them remarkably so; and yet it appeared that I was made the principal instrument of good to this poor seeking soul.

We then visited several meetings upon Appomatox River; and the Lord was with us, blessed be his name; from there to the South-west Mountains, where we were led in a very low track, myself especially. From there we proceeded through many meetings to James River, and so to the quarterly meeting at Waynoak Swamp. By the time I came to James River, I was sunk exceedingly low in mind; but as I abode in the patience, the Lord, in his time, was pleased to raise me again to his own honour. From James River, we went through many meetings in Caroline County, up Shenandoah River, and by Opeekan Creek to Fairfax, which was the last meeting we had in Virginia.

In this Colony we had much suffering of spirit, for, although in many instances we were favoured with a good degree of strength and wisdom, to speak to the states of the people; yet we could not but sympathise with the seed of life, which in many of their souls was oppressed by a dark carnal spirit; wherein the discipline is too much conducted, or rather in some places so perverted, that this designed wall of defence is rather a stumbling-block to sober inquirers. There are a number of truly valuable Friends among them; but in some particulars, who, had they kept to the simplicity of Truth, might have been serviceable in the ministry; sound and flight are grievously mixed therein, which will never convince the judgment, or settle the mind in the stability of Truth, although they may please the ear, and affect the passions. After leaving the province, we sent them an epistle, which was principally penned by my companion.

I think a providential preservation which we experienced in this province worthy recording, but, not having retained it in the memorandums I have preserved, I cannot ascertain the name of the river at which it happened. After a long day's journey, wherein we had dined in the woods on a scanty meal, we came in the evening to the ford of a broad, rapid river, which, from the appearance of the waves, we might suppose had a stony bottom. Neither of our guides were acquainted with the ford, and we were afraid to attempt to cross it until it was tried by one of them: so the youngest of them, about 19, went rather beyond the middle of the stream; and not finding it very deep, called to us to follow, which we with the other guide did, when each of them took charge of one of us.

My companion followed him who went first, and they kept a pretty straight course across the river; but my horse, and that of the other friend, bended down the stream, which I concluded was occasioned by its force and rapidity. When we got over, we learned that the bed of the river, which was of large pebbles, was so uneven as to render it dangerous.

To ford it safely, the horses should have gone a little way down the stream, and turned up again to the landing place; for by going straight across, the edge of a pit in the bottom must be gone over, which was accounted thirty feet deep, so that my companion was in considerable danger. Surely much caution is necessary for travellers in crossing unknown waters.

The 25th of the fourth month we had a meeting at Manoccasy in Maryland, wherein Truth measurably favoured; from which we proceeded to West River, taking the meetings in our way. We came to West River the 29th, and could not get a release from there till the 8th of the fifth month. The professors of Truth in this settlement are principally of the offspring of faithful ancestors; but several of them have taken their flight on the wings of vanity and earthly riches, and slighted the truly valuable eternal inheritance; and I fear, some even despise that precious faith which was once delivered to the saints. We had six meetings with them, in four of which I was silent; and my companion had not much liberty of spirit until the last meeting; wherein the testimony of Truth was raised in its own dominion.

The yearly meeting for this part of Maryland was held during our stay; which, as usual, was attended by people of other societies, and I heard there was a great desire to hear me speak in this place; but the Lord was pleased very much to disappoint their expectation.

The 8th we went to Gerard Hopkins's, upon South River: in the way I had a dangerous fall from my horse, whereby my left arm was much hurt, but, through divine favour, no bone was broken or dislocated.

The 9th, we proceeded on our journey, although my arm was so weak and painful that I was obliged to carry it in a sling. We passed through several meetings in Baltimore county, to Duck Creek and Bush River, and in many places my companion had good service; but great were my trials of spirit about this time, under which the divine arm secretly sustained me. Oh! what need there is to stand still in these stripping, dipping seasons, and wait low to discern the way whereby we may escape the temptations of the subtle enemy. As I was favoured to abide here, a little light and strength were afforded; whereby I was encouraged to trust in that arm of Almighty sufficiency which had hitherto preserved me; and was resigned to travel forward, although I might be led in a low despised track.

The 18th, we came to Susquehanna River, and the 19th, to East Nottingham in Pennsylvania, to the house of my dear and worthy friend John Churchman, who was not yet returned from a visit to Friends in England; but his wife and son gladly received us. The 22nd we reached Philadelphia, and took up our lodging with our worthy ancient friend Rachel Pemberton.

Here my dear companion met with a trial very affecting to nature, an account of the death of her father; which however she was the better prepared to receive, from a remarkable sense having for some time rested upon her mind that it was so; and she was assisted to bear it with Christian resignation and fortitude, being favoured with the cheering hope that he went well.

We staid in Philadelphia till the 29th, attending the meetings of Friends as they came in course, wherein I had some service, and was favoured with peace in the discharge of my duty, though led in a low track, very contrary to the expectations of the people, which were to be disappointed. My companion was silent during our stay in this city.

The 29th we left Philadelphia, and set our faces towards the eastern colonies. We appointed but one meeting between Philadelphia and New York; where we had two large public meetings, which were attended by many people of other societies, who behaved well; and the testimony of Truth was borne to them by us both. In the evening my companion had an inclination to have a select opportunity with Friends in that city; which, I believe, was memorable to some present, for she was much favoured amongst them.

On the 3rd of the sixth month, we crossed the river to Long Island; and the 5th, had a small meeting with a few who professed the Truth at Setoket, and so proceeded to the east end of the island, intending to go from there to the yearly meeting in Rhode Island. We were accompanied by two Friends from Philadelphia, John Aimil and Thomas Lightfoot, and one from Setoket. Here we were detained near two days by contrary winds, and lodged at the house of a friendly man, a Presbyterian, but more generous in his way of thinking than are many of that profession in this Island. I had a concern to have a meeting with the neighbours, and a young man kindly offered his house; which we accepted, and a pretty many people came, and behaved well while I was speaking; but very soon after I had done, most of them went away, although the meeting was not yet concluded. The Almighty was pleased to cause many gospel truths to be opened to them, and although it seemed to take too little effect, I had peace in the discharge of my duty.

On the 8th, we set sail in a sloop, but the wind not favouring, we dropped anchor that night, and next day, being the first of the week, went on shore at a place about two miles distant from which we embarked. Here we were received by another Presbyterian, and that day were favoured with a comfortable religious opportunity together. The wind continued contrary to the 12th, in which interval we had a meeting with some of the neighbours; which although exercising by reason of the hardness of their hearts, was favoured by Divine condescension; many gospel truths being testified to therein, which I hope had admittance in some minds.

The 12th, early in the morning we sailed, accompanied by the before-mentioned Friends, and landed on Rhode Island in the afternoon.

The 13th, we attended a large meeting at Portsmouth. The 14th, the yearly meeting began, which was held at Newport, and continued till the 17th. It was attended by a large number of Friends and others; and the Lord was pleased to manifest his ancient love and power amongst us, whereby our spirits were set at liberty in the exercise of our gifts. I had particularly, at several times, to oppose that dark principle of unconditional election and reprobation, and had cause to hope the testimony against it had weight with some of its professors. We were exercised for the restoration of the discipline, which had been much neglected in this quarter; and our endeavours for its establishment were measureably crowned with success; so that, upon the whole, at this yearly meeting abundant cause was administered for thankfulness to the bounteous Author of all good. We visited the prison; we also visited several Friends who were confined through indisposition; in which charitable service we had peace and comfort.

The 19th, we went to Tiverton, and so, through several meetings in that quarter, to the monthly meeting at Poniganset, wherein we were exceeding closely exercised; the testimony principally directed to Friends, r After we left Newport, my mind was much distressed, and drawn back to that place, but my companion not encouraging me, and I being fearful, did not return, which I had afterwards reason to believe I ought to have done; for after our leaving it, a young man whom we had visited in his illness died. He was of considerable account in the world, and just upon the point of marriage with an agreeable young woman of the same meeting. Had I moved in faith, I might have got to his funeral.

It is worthy remarking, that while I was under the exercise for returning back, two Friends came to visit us, and my companion being engaged above stairs, I was with them alone a short time. We sat a few minutes in silence, when one of them said, “Go down to the camp and see,” without any comment upon the expression.

I had doubtless been ruminating, why my mind should be drawn back; and had I attended to this intimation, and set off immediately, I might, with close riding, have reached the before-mentioned funeral, and have returned in season to the monthly meeting at Poniganset; whereto, as Friends of the particular meetings resorted, all the service required of me might have been answered.

The 28th, we went on board a sloop, and sailed for the Island of Nantucket. We intended, by Divine permission, to attend the yearly meeting there, but the wind proving contrary, we did not get there till the 30th, when the meeting was in part over. We went on shore for a few hours on Elizabeth Island, where we saw no inhabitant; but it being a fine sun-shine day, and the ground rising from the sea, we laid ourselves down upon the turf, and got a little sheep; for the sloop was so crowded, being small, that we could get very little on board. At Nantucket we met our friends Daniel Stanton, Israel Pemberton, etc. from Philadelphia, who had all been with us at the yearly meeting at Rhode Island. We were mutually refreshed together, and the Lord favoured us in his service, both in the work of the ministry and in discipline; to the satisfaction and relief of the sensible body of Friends, and I hope to the edification of some others.

The inhabitants of this Island were favoured with wonderful visitations from on high, at the time when our valuable friend John Richardson and others visited America; by whose labours as ministers, a large meeting was gathered to the praise of the Lord's name; which wrought powerfully to the turning the people from “darkness to light:” and many worthy professors of Truth then belonged to it, men and women zealous for the honour of it, who walked in that true light wherein they had believed.

But most of these being removed to their eternal mansions, and their offspring not generally walking by the same rule, our Society was in a state of weakness, although the meeting was yet large, and there remained a living remnant in it. Some of the youth, especially of our own sex, appeared hopeful; but having been left much to themselves, and the work of the discipline having been neglected, they were unprepared for it, and ignorant of its weight and necessity; so that the meeting seemed in a dwindling condition, as to the life of Truth.

We laboured for an amendment in these respects; and in order thereto, recommended their bringing the young people of orderly conversations to their meetings for business, which had been too much neglected; with which Friends concurred, and also with the proposition ibr their holding two meetings for worship on the first-day; whereby the time, which was too frequently squandered away unprofitably, by at least many of the younger sort, might be better employed. Some of the members of the meeting living distant from it, had probably prevented their holding two meetings heretofore on the first-day; but that was no excuse for those who dwelt in the town.

We left the Island in peace, in the afternoon of the 1st of the seventh month, in company with our aforesaid Friends from Philadelphia, and landed at Woods Hole the same evening; from which Daniel Stanton and Israel Pemberton returned homewards, but the other Friend not being quite easy to leave us, concluded, with our permission, to accompany us a little further.

He was one of those who came with us from Philadelphia as guide, and had accompanied us to Rhode Island, and while with us, had been remarkably under the baptizing power of Truth; which raised a tender regard in our minds towards him, and we were not easy to refuse his company, although he was in a single station.

Our friends also of Philadelphia, who left us here, concurred in his stay, and that the more freely, as some assistance might be needed in some places we were about to pass through.

Here I suggest some caution necessary to be observed by young women in a single state, who travel in the service of the ministry, towards those of the other sex, who are also unmarried. First, to guard their own minds, lest they admit of any pleasing imagination, and stamp it with the awful name of revelation; and so slide into a familiarity and freedom of conversation and behaviour, which might tend to engage the affections of young men. Secondly, to endeavour to retain a feeling sense of the state of the spirits of those with whom they are intimate, and strictly to observe their conduct and behaviour towards them: so will they be the better able to judge of their motives for accompanying them, or of any other act of kindness; and may wisely check any forward thought which looks beyond friendship; which may easily be done by prudent remarks in conversation.

Thirdly, to beware of hurting any of these tender plants by an austere conduct. When we are singularly made instruments of good, in the hand of Providence, to any soul, there is a natural aptitude to lean a little to the instrument, and to prefer it above others, which for a time may be allowable. The Lord, leading the mind by gradual steps from the love of other objects to the entire love of himself, the one only pure, eternal Excellency, may permit it for a season to lean to an instrument; in which case a prudent reserve is necessary, as well as a tender regard to the growth of the party thus visited. I confess, it is sometimes a nice point, to be ready to be of service to such, and preserve the unity of the Spirit, free from mixture of natural affection; a distinction which I fear has been overlooked by some to their great hurt, but which Truth, if adhered to, will make; and will also direct to steer safely between these dangerous extremes.

From Woods Hole we went to Falmouth, and so to the quarterly meeting at Sandwich, which began the 5th of the seventh month. It was small and exercising, but we were favoured with Divine assistance, through which the testimony of Truth was set over the heads of the gainsayers.

From hence we went to Yarmouth, where we had a good meeting with a few Friends, and a pretty many of the neighbours, and returned back to Sandwich.

The 10th, we had a meeting at Pembroke, which was attended by many people of other societies, who were much displeased because we were silent. In the evening we had a meeting with a few Friends; the principal service whereof was to strengthen their hands in the discipline.

The 11th, we went to Boston, and had a meeting there with Friends and some others the same evening, which ended comfortably.

The 12th, our friend of Philadelphia left us lo return home, and we pursued our journey towards the quarterly meeting, to be held at Hampton the 13th and 14th, and with hard travelling we reached it in due time. But such a scene of confusion and distraction I never was in before; occasioned by a company of Ranters, who had gone out from Friends in a spirit of separation; but who, in reality, were never properly of us, having been injudiciously taken into membership, before Friends knew on what foundation they were; and being high-minded, heady, and exceedingly wild in their imaginations, which they accounted revelations, would not submit to the sense of Friends in the discipline, and were therefore disowned.

These frequently made it their practice to disturb the meetings of Friends, with their wild disorderly appearances; and many of them came to this quarterly meeting, against whom we had to testify, being in the course of the meetings exceedingly burdened with their spirits and public appearances, under pretence of preaching; but we were obliged to suffer under their spirits, until our concluding meeting, whereto many of them came. After a time of silence therein, my companion stood up, and one of their company began haranguing the people in the grave-yard, and others were disturbing Friends in the meeting house; wherein I think a form broke down, whereby the disturbance became so great, that she sat down in discouragement, and the meeting continued in disorder. In a short time I stood up with a view to inform the people present, who did not profess with us, who were numerous, of the reason of our conduct towards these Ranters.

I had said but little before I was sensible of the spring of Divine life being opened; from which I was enabled to minister, though I had no view of what was given me to speak before I stood up; but I was immediately and mercifully clothed with such a degree of authority, that it might indeed be said, the Truth was over all, and the meeting ended in awful solemnity: for which my soul was humbly thankful to the Lord, who gave us victory over these deluded spirits.

The 16th, we went to Dover, and had two meetings with Friends in that quarter, in both of which I was shut up. We attended the funeral of a Friend whose relations were Presbyterians, and had a seasonable opportunity among the people, wherein the testimony of Truth was exalted.

The 20th, we had a meeting with Friends at Thomas Henson's; and from there went to Berwick and Winter Harbour, from which we crossed part of Casco Bay in a canoe, to visit a few Friends on some islands therein. Several Friends from Dover, etc. accompanied us in this journey; wherein had human fears prevailed, we might have apprehended ourselves in danger from the Indians, who sometimes annoy the inhabitants, killing some, and carrying others captives to Canada; but our spirits were mercifully preserved above fear, and comforted with the hope of Truth's prosperity among the few Friends in that quarter; several of whom were under its humbling visitation, and therefore were near to our spirits; from whom we parted in gospel love, and returned to Dover the 30th.

The 1st of the eighth month, we went to New Town, had a meeting at Nathan Hoeg's, wherein much instructive doctrine flowed to several states, particularly to that of the before mentioned Ranters; and we found that there were present two young women who sometimes went among them, with whom, after meeting, we had some discourse. They behaved civilly to us, and told us they had heard many lies of us; and one of them was considerably tendered in spirit, but the other was high in imagination.

From hence we proceeded to Araesbury and Newbury, where a concern rested upon my dear companion to go back, and pay a visit in the love of the gospel to these Ranters, for whom she had for some time been exercised, and particularly for their leader James Bean; a man of great cunning and a strong will, who had heretofore been permitted to minister amongst Friends. She laid this concern before Friends, wherewith they concurring, we went on the 5th to Brentwood, the place where they held their meeting. Many Friends accompanied us, who I believe were earnestly desirous that we might be rightly conducted among these dark, crafty spirits; who readily gave us an opportunity with them at their own meetinghouse.

In the forepart of the meeting several of them spoke something, but at length my companion got liberty, and was favoured with the openings and power of Truth, directly pointed to the confused deluded state wherein they were. I was also exercised in the like manner, and we had good tidings for some of them, namely, that there was a way open for them to return, if they would allow their wills and works to be tried, judged, and condemned; which I believe a few of them received well; for there appeared to be some simple-hearted deluded souls among them; who, being taken with the more than ordinary show of righteousness, and high pretensions to enjoyments, visions, and revelations; and not having their spiritual faculties sufficiently strong to discern between the reality and the image of Truth; had been inadvertently catched by them. We had reason to hope that our labours and sufferings among these ranting spirits had its service; for after we left them, we heard from that time they had been less troublesome to Friends in their meetings.

The 7th, we had meetings at Lynn and Salem. The first was large, and greatly mixed with people of other societies, wherein the Lord was pleased to favour me in the exercise of my gift: the last was of Friends select, and the service principally fell upon my companion, whose concern chiefly pointed to Friends.

The 8th, we went to Boston, and attended the monthly meeting there the same day, to which came many people of other societies, but we were wholly silent. We staid over the first-day meetings, which were attended by abundance of people not professing with us; but neither of us had much to impart to them, which was matter of wonder, both to them and to some who professed with us; there being now a willingness in the people of this city, to hear the testimony of Truth. We were engaged to pay a religious visit to most of the families of Friends there, wherein we were favoured with the satisfactory evidence of being in the way of our duty; and from which we hoped some good would ensue, for it seemed to have considerable effect upon some, especially to the youth.

The 14th, we went to Mendon, and after having visited a few little meetings to the northwest, we passed through several, to Rhode Island. We were painfully exercised in this quarter, being engaged for the establishing of a right discipline; and in the discouragement of a ministry in words, which was not accompanied with the power of Truth; wherewith some of the people were amused, but not profitably fed, and the truly sensible were distressed. In several places we were mostly or wholly silent, in large mixed meetings, perhaps for examples to these forward spirits. It raised the displeasure of some against us; but we were mercifully preserved patient and resigned, and I hope ready to do good for evil.

The 27th, we came to Newport on Rhode Island, and were affectionately received by our friends Thomas and Mary Richardson and their children, with whom we lodged both now and when there before.

The 28th, we were at their week-day meeting, which was pretty much mixed with people of other societies; but our concern at this time being principally to Friends, their coming rendered it difficult for us to discharge our duties.

We therefore requested a meeting of Friends select, which we obtained, and I believe it ended to the general satisfaction of the sensible minds present; the Lord's power being exalted therein, under the tendering effects whereof some of the youth were bowed.

From Newport we went through several meetings on the Island of Poniganset to Greenwich, wherein I had but little share in the ministry; but my companion had good service in this quarter. Here we parted from many Friends who had been made near to us in the Truth; and on the 8th of the ninth month, set our faces towards New York government; but my companion, not finding her spirit released from Greenwich, we returned back the next morning, and had a meeting with Friends there the same day; and the l0th, had one at Machanticut. We had some painful labour in both these meetings, the cause of which I forbear to mention, but in the end had to point out one of the parties that had occasioned it.

The 11th, we proceeded on our journey through Connecticut Province, to Oblong in New York government, about one hundred and fifty miles, having no meetings by the way but at New Millford, where there are a few under the profession of Truth.

From there we went to Salisbury and Nine Partners; where my companion was confined by indisposition, and I was obliged to attend the meetings in this quarter alone; wherein I was favoured with a degree of divine help.

The 23rd, we returned to Oblong, and were at the meetings there on the first-day, which were large, and I hope serviceable.

From hence we had thoughts of passing through the other meetings of Friends on the main land in this quarter, and so of proceeding to Long Island; but soon after we left Oblong, a cloud came over our spirits; and being divested of a capacity for service, we concluded to go directly to Long Island, and there to rest until the cause or end of this dispensation should be manifested to us; which proved to be a separation from each other. I had long seen it would be so, and some of our friends before we left Europe expected, and rather pressed it; fearing that our service would be less to the church by our keeping together, than if we separated. We had now travelled together as companions in the most difficult parts of the country—had shared so many trials, sufferings and dangers, and had been favoured with great unity of spirit therein, that it appeared hard for us to part; but when we were convinced of the propriety of it, we submitted, in hope that it might tend to the benefit of that glorious cause, for which we left our native land. after patiently waiting some days, my companion's way opened to Philadelphia; but I not being quite clear that the time for my leaving this quarter was fully come, concluded to stay behind her; which she, as well as myself, being most easy with, we imparted our exercise to Friends at their monthly meeting, and had their approbation in our separation.

The 3rd of the tenth month, we took an affectionate leave of each other at the house of our friend John Bowne, of Flushing; and she, accompanied by some men Friends, proceeded towards Philadelphia. My view was to turn back to the few meetings we had not visited on the main land, and John Bowne's wife being willing to accompany me, we, with two men Friends, left her house the same afternoon. We had a pretty broad ferry to cross, and the tide not serving until evening, it was near night when we got over. We did not go in the same boat with the horses, but one of the men Friends staid with them, and we could not expect them over for a considerable time. The ferry house seemed a poor place to lodge at, and it appeared proper we should that night get to the house of a Friend, who was a member of the meeting I wished to attend next day, that notice might be given of it; and if we staid for our horses the family might probably be gone to bed. We therefore inquired for horses to proceed forward, but could procure only one, upon which I determined to go with a man to ride before me, who was to bring the horse back. My friends who were with me knew the people of the ferry, so I set out without fear, although I had no pillion. We had but about two or three miles to ride, and it was a fine, clear, moonlight night, and most of the way on an even sand. I soon found the horse was a stumbler—indeed the poor beast had no shoes on, a common case on Long Island, and other even, sandy parts of the country—and when we had gone perhaps half way, down he came, and threw us both; but we were thrown far enough from the horse to receive no hurt from him. The horse rolled upon his back, and when he arose I found the saddle had no girth to it, and I knew before that it had no crupper, so it was unlikely that its rider should have any command of him when he fell. We had a kind of a wash-way to pass before we got to the Friend's house, so I could not well walk it; therefore I mounted again at some high rails, and we reached the house before the family was in bed; and my friends came safe the same night. I visited the meetings on the Main, which I had a view of, and returned to Flushing the 5th.

I wished to visit the meetings on Long Island, that I might be excused from returning back thereto; but not having ease of mind in the prospect, I concluded to follow my companion to Philadelphia; in which I believe I was right, as it tended to convince Friends in general that our separation was not occasioned by any difference between us, or other improper cause or motive: so I proceeded accordingly, accompanied by one man Friend.

On the 7th, we stopped to refresh ourselves at New York, and my affectionate friend Margaret Bowne, at whose house we had lodged before, concluded to take me in her chaise to Philadelphia: a seasonable relief from riding on horseback. We crossed the Sound that afternoon, and reached Philadelphia the 10th, a journey of about one hundred miles from New York. My companion had gone a little round, in her way from Long Island to visit a general meeting, and came to Philadelphia the same day; and after having conversed with each other, we were mutually satisfied with meeting, although we could not see that we should unite again in the service through the provinces of Pennsylvania and the Jerseys.

At Philadelphia she received the following letter:

Dudley, 27th of Fifth month, 1754.

My near and dear Child,

As I believe that a line from my hand will be very acceptable to you, I send this, by which you may have the agreeable account, that through divine goodness I am as well, both in body and mind, considering what I have gone through since I saw you, as I could have expected, and beyond what I fear I have deserved. And, dear child, I am ready to say in my heart at times, “Lord, what am I, that you are thus favouring me with your goodness? O! that I and mine may ever dwell in nothingness of self, that you alone may have the praise, who are forever worthy, says my soul!"

And, my dear child, although I count the time, and desire your company at home, and in our poor little meeting, I dare not desire it before you find yourself clear of your service, which I desire you may truly observe. The reading of yours, notwithstanding it brought an account of the hardship you have gone through, although it affected me greatly, I was not cast down; but on the contrary rather comforted, that you have been so truly given up and supported in spirit, to answer the requirings of the Almighty; who, if you continues faithful to the end, will be your exceeding great reward.

Then you will receive that peace which the world can neither give nor take away, and a crown of righteousness.

Dear child, I believe in the reading of this you will find me near to you, as you are to me, in that love, distance of place cannot separate; in which love I dearly salute you, and when my spirit is bowed before the Almighty, I believe I shall have you in remembrance, and now remain Your near and dear mother,

Ann Payton.

We staid in Philadelphia more than a week, and our friends were unanimous that it was best for us to separate. My way opened to go to the yearly meeting to be held at Shrewsbury.

In the way thereto, I fell in with several weekday meetings, and with one appointed by Joshua Dixon, a Friend on a religious visit from England.

I had also some service in the families of Friends, for which I had my reward. The meeting at Shrewsbury began the 28th, and was attended by several valuable ministers; and indeed I thought there was need of weight to counteract the light frothy spirit which appeared in the people, both in some of those who made profession of Truth, as well as many of other societies; whose motive in attending that meeting being more to please the natural mind, by getting into the company and conversation of each other, than for the honour of Truth, they added no weight to it. However, the Lord was pleased so to favour, that the testimony of Truth was several times set over them in good authority.

I was particularly engaged for the welfare of my fellow members in society, and desired an opportunity with the heads of families; which was procured, and I had good satisfaction in it.

The 30th, I left Shrewsbury, and the 1st of the eleventh month returned to Philadelphia, a journey of near ninety miles. I met my companion here well, and also my dear friends John Churchman, who was returned from his visit to Friends in England, and Samuel Fothergill, who was entering upon one to Friends in America. We were mutually refreshed in beholding the faces one of another, our union in the Truth being strong, which was now renewed in the fresh springing up of its life. We all attended the quarterly meeting at Philadelphia, which was large, and eminently crowned with the divine presence; wherein my companion and self rejoiced, though we had but little share in the public service.

As we found it right to part for the gospel's sake, on the 8th we took leave of each other in a degree of cheerfulness, and in the unity of the Spirit; committing each other to the divine protection, under a feeling sense of his humbling goodness. My views pointed to West Jersey, so I crossed the river Delaware at Philadelphia, being accompanied by Sarah Barney, a religious young woman of the island of Nantucket, who had come to Philadelphia to spend some time among Friends there, and found freedom to go with me for a while, as I did to accept of her company. She was not in the ministry.

I passed through a train of meetings to the quarterly meeting at Salem, and my concern principally bending to the members of our own Society in that quarter, I was pleased that the meetings were not mixed with others; and was sometimes favoured with a degree of enlargement in the heavenly gift, though at others poor and low.

The quarterly meeting at Salem began the 16th and ended the 19th, wherein I had close hard exercise in spirit,' as well as in ministerial service, in which I was not much enlarged.

The 20th, I had a meeting at Greenwich, where there is a promising prospect among the youth, on several of whom the solidity of Truth is deeply impressed. My spirit was closely united to them, but could minister but little. It appeared to me, that the Almighty would more perfect his work in them, by the immediate operation of his own Spirit, than by the help of instruments.

The 21st, we rode between fifty and sixty miles to Cape May, visited the few Friends there, and so proceeded to Great Egg Harbour, visited the several meetings there, and the 28th went to Little Egg Harbour. We went a considerable way between these two harbours in a canoe just wide enough for one person to sit in: there was ice in the bottom of it, which being broken, some straw was laid for me to sit on.

Hence we proceeded through Upper Springfield to New York. In our way we lodged at Amboy, at the house of a widow, who was under the profession of Truth. Here we met with a young woman, to whose person and character I was an entire stranger, on whose account I became concerned, suspecting that all was not right with her: and in the morning after breakfast, I spoke to her in a very close manner, and gave her such advice as in the openings of Truth arose in my heart. I thought I could partly have pointed out her crime, had not delicacy and fear kept me back.

She wept much, and hastily retired in great confusion and agitation of mind; and I afterwards heard that she had come here to be sheltered from public notice; but the Lord followed her, and I had reason to hope that the extendings of his grace were towards her, although she had been so great an offender. After some more close and very particular service with the woman of the house, I left it in peace and thankfulness to the Almighty, who had enabled me to discharge this hard piece of service; for so indeed it was, to speak thus to individuals and strangers: but in the day of his power his people are made willing to execute his commands.

I went to Rahway and Ryewoods meetings, and got to New York the 5th of the twelfth month; and after a meeting there went on Long Island, where I visited all the settled meetings of Friends, save one, which I had been at before. My concern at this time principally bended towards the members of our own Society; and sometimes when meetings were much mixed with others, I had nothing to say to them; which gave offence, not only to them, but to some carnal professors of Truth; but I endeavoured to rest satisfied in the divine will, well knowing Infinite Wisdom knew best what to administer for their good.

At Flushing the people not professing with us, had a great curiosity to hear me preach. Many of them had been with me at two meetings when I was before on the island, at both of which I was silent, and now came again, and were a third time disappointed, I believe in wisdom; for they being still dissatisfied, a number of young people came in the evening to my lodgings, I suppose with an intent to know whether I had any private meeting in the family, with whom I sat down in retirement; and others of the neighbourhood hearing of it, by means of some of the family whom they had desired to give them intelligence if there were such an opportunity, came in, and I had a remarkable testimony amongst them, directed to their states; the force of which some of them could not evade, as the opportunity was so select. I found afterwards that several of them were Deists, against whose principles I had to strike with much strength and clearness. Friends present were comforted in the feeling of divine goodness; for the power of Truth was exalted—blessed forever be the name of the Lord; who in his own time, will honour such as honour, him by manifesting that they are nothing, nor can do anything, but through his divine assistance.

The 18th of the twelfth month we left Long Island, in a thankful sense of the providential care of our heavenly Father, in preserving and sustaining us through the many dangers and difficulties attendant on this journey in the winter season; when the roads in many places were bad, and we had many broad, wild ferries to cross, which are sometimes rendered very dangerous through the frost and strong gales of wind; but the weather was always favourable when we crossed them.

The 19th, I attended a monthly meeting at Woodbridge, which was small and exercising, wherein I had little service, except to strengthen the hands of Friends in the discipline, the line whereof should have been further stretched over some transgressors. We rested a day or two at Rahway, at the house of our kind friends Joseph and Sarah Shotwell, and the 22nd, went to Plainfield, and from there, through several small meetings, to a number of meetings about Burlington, which were mostly large, and some of them satisfactory, being attended by the power of Truth; but the doctrine was mostly close, for which there was sorrowfully a cause. The 13th of the first month, 1755, we crossed the river Delaware, and were at a meeting at Bristol, in Bucks county, Pennsylvania; which was not large, but attended with a degree of the divine presence. The 15th, we were at the Falls meeting, in which I was silent, and which was a comfortable season to me. The 16th, I parted from my companion Sarah Barney, who having received a hurt upon her arm by a fall from her horse, was prevented from accompanying me further.

She was a tender affectionate companion, and very exemplary in her conduct; which together with that sincere love to Truth which dwelt in her, united her to my spirit.

Grace Fisher, a Friend in the ministry from Philadelphia, accompanied me through the rest of the meetings in Bucks county, which were five. In some seasons of silence the people appeared to be too generally in a dull, sluggish state. In some of these meetings the Almighty was pleased to open the spring of the ministry, which I believe flowed in a manner not quite agreeable to some, who wanted smooth things, although they were not their portion; and may I never minister so deceitfully, as to cry peace, when his holy Spirit is grieved. There is in this county a weighty, living number of Friends, unto whom my spirit was closely united in the covenant of life, but there are many dwellers at ease. Some of the youth appear promising, and the divine visitation was largely extended to many. Oh! that they may embrace and dwell under it, so as to become partakers of the glorious privileges of the gospel dispensation.

The 21st, I again crossed the river Delaware, accompanied by Grace Crosdale, a Friend of Bucks county, who had a gift in the ministry, and went to Bethlehem, and from there to visit a few families about twenty miles back in the woods; with some of whom we had a meeting which was attended by several of their neighbours; to whom I was drawn to minister freely in the love of the gospel, and believe it had its effect amongst them.

The 23rd, we again crossed the river Delaware, which was pretty full of ice, and our men Friends were a little doubtful that if they went over with us they could not return the next day, should the frost continue; as the ice might be united, though not strong enough to bear them; and I being unwilling they should be detained, concluded to go with two men—strangers to me, but one of them known to Friends in general—who were waiting for a passage over the river; they accompanied us to a Friend's house about five miles on the other side, where the next day we had a small meeting with a few Dutch people, and then proceeded to the upper part of Philadelphia county and Berks county, in which part the meetings are mostly small. I had some painful labour of spirit in this quarter, and also a comfortable prospect; for the Lord has amongst Friends here, a remnant of the ancient stock, who have, in a good degree, kept their habitations in the Truth; and a few of the youth are brought under its humbling baptism; and I thought the extendings of his divine visitation were to the careless.

The 31st, we crossed the river Schuylkill in a canoe, and our horses were swum over. We attended a meeting at Nantmill in Chester county, the 1st of the second month; and passed through several meetings to the quarterly meeting for Chester county, held at Concord.

About this time I was under a very heavy exercise of spirit, being environed with darkness, and made to stand as in the state of such as despise religion, and call in question divine justice and mercy. Under this painful baptism I continued many days, whereby all the blessings of kind Providence were embittered, and my life seemed a burden; yet sometimes a glimpse of light would dart through the cloud, and I conceived a hope of deliverance thereby, and that this dispensation was allotted renewedly to fit me to minister to some in this state, as well as to sympathize with the afflicted and tempted. It appeared to me remarkable, that although I was thus exercised when out of meetings, both by day and by night, and perhaps for a considerable part of the time I was in them, yet was I not entirely disabled for service; the cloud would break as in an instant, and I had just light and strength afforded to see and discharge my duty; and after a while it would close up again as before. My soul has abundant cause to bless the name of my God in this and such like painful seasons, which I desire to retain in lasting remembrance; for had it not been for the support of his powerful merciful hand, I had been as one who goes down into the pit; being as it were entered, in thought, into the dark avenues which lead to destruction; yet faintly—as I thought—adhering to that faith which was once delivered to the saints. These are the seasons of the “trial of our faith, which is more precious than that of gold which perishes.”

The quarterly meeting at Concord began the 7th of the second month, where I met my dear companion Mary Peisley. Our meeting was attended with divine consolation, under a sense of the protection of Providence having been over us in our absence from each other; and our union in the Truth was renewed and strengthened. The quarterly meeting was large and divinely favoured, and the testimony of Truth therein exalted in strength and clearness.

The minds of some members of our Society, were at this time much unsettled through government affairs. A war with the French seemed likely to break out; and some were for deviating from our Christian testimony, which is against defensive, as well as offensive war; consistently with that pure charity which “bears all things, and seeks not its own" by means, contrary to the tendency of the peaceable gospel dispensation. Against this spirit we had to testify, I hope to good purpose, for the power of Truth was over the meetings in an eminent degree, whereby the doctrine preached was enforced: glory be to the Lord forever! He brings down and raises up, for the honour of his own name, and the establishment of his servants in righteousness and truth. The Scripture given me to comment upon in this meeting was Joel ii, 15, and some following, whereon I was opened to my own humbling admiration, and that of some of my friends. Here we met our friends John Churchman, Joshua Dixon, and many more, with whom our spirits were comforted in the divine presence.

The 12th, we came to Philadelphia, where we spent a few days, and were principally engaged in visiting some Friends' families, and the girls' school for Friends' children. We also visited the prison, wherein several were confined; one for debt, and three boys for theft, who, with a fourth, their accomplice, were much broken in spirit. This was to me one of the most affecting services I had ever been engaged in, from the consideration of their deplorable circumstances; for although their lives might be spared, a lasting stain might remain upon their reputation; but we were comforted in the hope of their being brought to repentance, as divine mercy was extended unto them.

Oh! how careful ought young people to be of the company they keep; for if they are fainiliar with the children of darkness, they too often, by almost imperceptible degrees, contract their vicious inclinations, and are led into acts of wickedness, from which they would once, perhaps, have shrunk back with horror.

The 18th, we went in company to Frankford, where we had a good meeting, and parted in the comfortable sense of the divine presence; my companion going to some meetings in Bucks county, and myself to Abington, Horsham, and Plymouth, accompanied by Sarah Morris of Philadelphia, and Anna Logan.

The 22nd, I again met my companion at Burlington, where we attended the quarterly meeting for the upper part of West Jersey; which was a solemn season, and the spring of the ministry was opened to edification and comfort.

The 26th and 27th, we attended the quarterly meeting in Bucks county, Pennsylvania; which was large and satisfactory, divine help being extended to the encouragement of us, and of the faithful present. Here my companion and I again separated in a sense of our heavenly Father's love; and myself with Sarah Morris proceeded to visit some meetings in Bucks and Philadelphia counties, and came to Philadelphia the 8th of the third month. I staid in and about the city till the 24th, visiting some of the families of Friends, as my strength which was but low, would permit; but I had solid peace in spending a few days in this service.

On the 24th, I went to Newtown in West Jersey, so to Evesham and Haddonfield to the quarterly meeting for that province; wherein I was low both in body and mind, and had not much public service.

The 28th, the half-year's meeting at Philadelphia began. Here I again met my dear companion Mary Peisley. The meeting was large and solemn; there was much silence in it, which was perhaps not less profitable to many, though less pleasing, than preaching.

The 3rd of the fourth month we again separated, and I went towards the eastern shore of Maryland, having for a companion Hannah Foster of West Jersey, also Joshua Fisher of Philadelphia, who went to assist us, it being a quarter wherein it might have been difficult always to procure guides. We were obliged to travel hard, and I having also hard service amongst a few unfaithful professors of Truth, who were scattered about in this quarter, and my health being poor, it was painful for me to pursue the journey; but divine goodness secretly sustained my soul, and assisted to discharge my duty according to knowledge; and in the end afforded a comfortable hope that my labour was not entirely fruitless. We attended a half-year's meeting at Chester in Maryland, and another at Duck creek; at the last we met John Churchman. We had laborious travail of spirit, the life of Truth being low in that quarter, but through infinite goodness, the testimony of it was raised in a good degree of authority.

We had comfortable hope respecting some young people hereaway, and parted from the living amongst them under a sense of divine favour. We proceeded through several small meetings of Friends—wherein I had painful labour of spirit, yet I hope some solid service—to Lewistown. There is no meeting of Friends established here, but we had a large one in the court-house, wherein the power and testimony of Truth was raised in dominion to the praise of the great Name.

The 29th, we returned to Duck creek, myself in a very low state, both of body and mind; but as I endeavoured to keep my mind to the Lord, he was pleased as in an instant to dispel the thick cloud of darkness which for some days had encompassed me; and so to lift up the light of his countenance upon me, that I rejoiced exceedingly in the hope of his salvation.

The 4th of the fifth month my companion Hannah Foster left me at East Nottingham, and my valuable friend Margaret Churchman, wife of John Churchman, accompanied me to some meetings in Lancaster and York counties; and so to the yearly meeting held at West river, for the western shore of Maryland, at which I had been with my companion Mary Peisley, in 1754, but had then but little public service amongst the people. I met with some opposition in my endeavours for the revival of discipline, from apostate and libertine spirits; but the Lord supported me above it.

The yearly meeting was large, and divinely favoured. Several Friends came over the bay to it, and I was favoured to see a little fruit of my painful labour when on the other side, by the change which was apparently wrought in a young person, who was then of a light conversation.

William Brown, from Philadelphia, attended this meeting, and had good service therein. Love seemed to spread amongst Friends at this time, and we left them in peace, and returned the 26th to East Nottingham; where I met Sarah Morris, from Philadelphia, who proposed to accompany me through Chester and Lancaster counties, etc. She was a truly exemplary woman, and sometimes highly favoured in the ministry.

We left Nottingham the 29th, and passed through the rest of the meetings in Lancaster county, wherein I had much close service. We visited Chester county pretty thoroughly, wherein is a very large body of professors of Truth, but many of them are deficient in regard to its sanctifying operation upon the spirit. Many noble pillars have been removed from amongst them, and some of the elders who then remained had unhappily lost their stations in the Truth, and yet nominally retained their offices in the church. These were stumbling blocks to the youth, who were too apt to look at the example of such, and to plead their inconsistent practices, as an excuse for their own taking liberties in other respects. Against these, and such like deceitful watchers and pretended labourers, who had not kept the vineyard of their own hearts, and yet dared to stretch forth their hands to the Lord's service, I had sharply to testify: and I sometimes was made an example of silence in the solemn assemblies. There was also in this county a solid living number of Friends, who were preachers of righteousness in their respective stations, both by example and precept; with whose unity the Lord was pleased to favour me, and who I trust will ever be near to my life, in that holy bond which neither time nor death can dissolve.

After visiting Chester county, I became much indisposed, and retired to the house of my kind friend John Morris, in Philadelphia county; where—as at several times before had been the case,—I was affectionately received, and the necessary endeavours were used for my recovery; which the Lord was pleased so to bless, that I was enabled in about two weeks to pursue my journey, though in considerable weakness of body. In this season of confinement and release from public labour, the good Physician so favoured, that although my body sustained considerable pain and weakness, my mind rather gathered strength, and was greatly encouraged in the hope of future preservation.

My dear companion Mary Peisley, came to me from Philadelphia, who having visited almost all the meetings of Friends on the continent of America, entertained hope of our soon embarking for our native lands; but we had much more both to do and to suffer, before that hour came. We met in wonted affection, and therein again parted the 2nd of the seventh month; when I proceeded to visit some meetings in Philadelphia and Berks county, where there seemed a promising prospect amongst the youth, some of whom appeared to be advancing in rectitude of spirit and conduct, at which my soul rejoiced; it being part of the fruits of that labour of love, the Lord of the harvest had caused us to bestow upon them. I had considerable freedom in the exercise of my gift in this renewed visit to these places, and again met my companion the 16th, at Stenton, near Philadelphia; from which place we went in company to Philadelphia the 17th, and from there to the quarterly meeting at Concord, in Chester county; after which I proceeded to some other meetings in that county, and returned to my companion at Philadelphia, the 19th of the eighth month.

Here she received the following letter:

Dudley, 9th of Second month, 1755.

Dear Child,—Having this opportunity, I am willing to send you a few lines, by which you may know that through divine favour I am as well in health as I can expect; and at times witness a renewing of strength in the inward man; but, dear child, it is through a daily watch. I can find no safer way than a watchful state, that many times prepares the heart for prayer, and helps to pray aright. This is what I desire we may be found in, and then I believe the Almighty will hear our prayers for each other; as I am sensible he has done mine, and answered them in his own time, for which my soul desires to dwell in true thankfulness to Him.

Dear child, I have little more to caution you of, than what I have done heretofore. Be careful to discharge yourself faithfully in the requirings of the Lord, and be sure take care of your health, and then I am not without hope but we shall see each other again in his time.

My very dear love and your sister's to friend Pemberton and sons. I am much obliged to them for their affectionate care towards you, though have not wrote to acknowledge it. As you know my deficiency in that respect, would have you excuse it to them in the best manner you can. Our dear love is to Samuel Fothergill, John Churchman, William Brown, Jonah Thompson, and all inquiring friends that know us.

Now, dear child, with the salutation of endeared love to you, I remain your tender and affectionate mother,

Ann Payton.

From this time we were mostly together while in the country, which was much longer than was agreeable to our natural inclinations, for we were detained the winter; being engaged in visiting the families of Friends in Philadelphia, in conjunction with the Friends who were under appointment for that service; in which important work we were frequently favoured by the wise Head of the church, who directs, that even “Jerusalem shall be searched with candles;” and for that purpose illuminates the spirits of his servants, and furnishes with doctrine suited to the states of those visited.

We took several turns in the country, to visit quarterly, monthly, and particular meetings, and had good service for the Lord therein; but in the meetings in Philadelphia were frequently bound in spirit, being made to preach silence by example; which I believe had its use, by instructing the people not to depend on instrumental ministry.

Towards the latter end of the winter, my dear companion became very much indisposed, and continued so for several months; in which time she was frequently prevented from attending meetings, and sometimes confined to her room. I gave her the strictest attendance I was capable of, insomuch that with other exercises attending, my health was greatly affected, and my spirits sunk to a degree of dejection I had never before known; nevertheless I was so favoured as to be alive, and to be at times strong, in my ministerial service, to the very conclusion of our stay in the country.

The following letter appears to have been written about this time.

Philadelphia, First month 10th, 1756.

Dear Cousin,—from a principle of affection, and an apprehension that you mayst desire to hear from me, I am prompted to send you a line, though otherwise much unfurnished for writing, being rather low and empty; but, through mercy, pretty quiet, and not without hope of Divine preservation, which is a blessing to be acknowledged with humble thankfulness, and if favoured with the same through life, we ought to endeavour to be content, although no great degree of Divine enjoyment be afforded us; and honestly labour in the ability afforded in the way which is cast up by a kind Providence, trusting him for our reward, who is faithful, and will bear up the heads of his depending children in their deepest exercises, and in the end bless them with the fruition of glory.

And what if our trials through life are great, our temptations abundant, and our labour and travel difficult and painful to nature? Will it not furnish us with a more joyful song of praise to him that has supported, and assisted to do the work which he required of us, till he brought us to his everlasting kingdom? For my part, I see suffering, poverty, etc. to be so consistent with our present state, and so good for us, that my soul prays to be united to them as my proper portion; yet to have the eye of my mind directed to Him, whose hand is full of blessings, which he dispenses according to the necessities of his people. I am ready to say, let Him do what he pleases with me, if I am but in the Lord's hand it is enough. We cannot be unhappy, unless the perverseness of our own will, and the corruption of our nature make us so; these I have seen to be the ground of a great part of our afflictions through life; and that to bring us into order, and reduce us into the obedience of Christ, we need these bitter baptisms, which we sometimes pass through, previous to the knowledge of our duty. This, in my view, demonstrates our imperfection the glorified spirits walk continually in the light of the Lord; and while inhabiting these tabernacles of clay, let us remember, we are taught to aspire after this state of perfection, to do the will of God on earth as it is done in heaven a lesson, which if we had fully learned, there would not be so much reasoning and disputing with flesh and blood, when the knowledge of our duty was clearly made known to us, nor so much unwillingness to believe in the light.

In writing thus I feel a freedom of spirit, so that I am ready to query, is there not a cause? I have thought myself of late like one almost lost to iny friends, yet I hope not so in reality.

Our stay in this country has been prolonged, I suppose, beyond our friends' expectation, but I hope not beyond our Master's time. My companion joins in the salutation of dear love to you. I am your affectionate cousin,

Catharine Payton

And now, as it was our lots in the wise direction of Providence, to be in the province of Pennsylvania, at a time when the minds of Friends were more than commonly exercised, on account of public or political affairs—by reason of the French making encroachments on some of the British colonies—and some of the Indian tribes having committed great outrages on their frontiers, and murdered many of the back inhabitants; the conduct of us who were concerned to labour for the support of our peaceable Christian testimony, was harshly censured by the unthinking multitude; and by such of our own Society as were one with them in spirit; who insinuated that we intruded into matters foreign to our proper business, and were in part the cause of the continuation of the calamities which attended the provinces, through our testifying against the spirit of war, and advising Friends to support our Christian testimony faithfully, I think it not improper briefly to give some account of the share I had in concerns of this nature.

On my coming to Philadelphia in the third month, 1755, I understood the assembly was about to sit; and the major part of its members being then under the profession of Truth, on considering how difficult it would be for such to maintain our Christian testimony, and to act consistently with what the people at large thought was for the good of the province, I was induced to propose a few weighty Friends having a religious opportunity with such members of the assembly, as made profession with us; wherein, perhaps, Truth might open counsel suitable to the occasion, and our sympathy with such as were concerned to maintain its testimony might be manifested.

This meeting with the concurrence ofFriends, such an opportunity was obtained, and I had the privilege of being at it; and therein was concerned to testify against that spirit, which from human considerations was for war, and to strengthen the minds of Friends against leaning thereto. Several times during those troubles, I was concerned publicly to assert the consistency of our peaceable principle with the gospel dispensation; and once, if not oftener, to point out the consequence of Friends deviating therefrom, which was remarkably fulfilled before I left the country. This was no more than consistent with my office as a minister, and my commission to that country, which was to preach Truth and righteousness, and strengthen the hands of my brethren, against their opposers. Both myself and companion were so clear of improperly intermeddling with the affairs of government, that we sometimes checked the torrent of conversation on that subject, either by silent or verbal reproof; and but seldom so much as read their newspapers.

During the time of the people's being in so great confusion and distress, on account of the Indian war, my mind was much exercised; but for several months, I know not that I could at all, even secretly, petition the Almighty for their relief, with any evidence of such a petition arising from the spring of Divine life. But a little before a stop was put to their depredations, my spirit was almost continually clothed with intercession, that the Lord might be pleased to stay the sword; and in two public meetings I was concerned in like manner; and I did not hear that any mischief was done after that time, by any Indians who had occasioned that disturbance, and a cessation of arms ensued.

I record this as an instance of Divine wisdom instructing his servants to ask what it is pleasing to him to grant; as well as restraining them from petitioning for what might be exceedingly desirable to themselves, before the proper time; and I believe that if ministers thus kept under the government of that spirit of wisdom, which gives liberty in the appointed season acceptably to approach the throne of divine Grace, it would be more evident that they asked in the name and spirit of Jesus, by their prayer being answered.

I think it worth remarking, that the termination of this Indian war, was at last effected by the peaceable interposition of Friends. An Indian chief, with other Indians in friendship with Pennsylvania, being occasionally in Philadelphia, Friends obtained leave of the governor to have a conference with them; in order to endeavour, through their interference to bring about an accommodation with the Indians now at war with the British colonies. As we were admitted to attend this conference, I mention it. It evinces the veneration the Indians retained for the memory of William Penn, and for his pacific principles; and their great regard to Friends, whom they styled his children. Several of their women sat in this conference, who, for fixed solidity, appeared to me like Roman matrons. They scarcely moved, much less spoke, during the time it was held; and there was a dignity in the behaviour and countenance of one of them, that I cannot forget. I was informed that they admit their most respected women into their counsels.

And here I remark, that we were in Philadelphia at the time when the first soldiers that had come there commissioned from the English government, arrived at that city; under the command of general Braddock. I said a cloud of darkness came with them. The Lord had settled this colony by peaceable means, he had hitherto protected it by his own Almighty arm, and it prospered greatly; but henceforward disunion and disturbance prevailed and increased in it. Our friend Samuel Fothergill, as well as we, was strongly and affectionately engaged to promote peace, and guard them against the event, which he feared would ensue, and which in time followed.

Our stay in this country was considerably longer than usual for Friends who visit it from Europe; which was much in the cross to our natural inclination, but quite in the unity of the sensible body of Friends; who saw that we were industriously engaged in the service to which Truth had called us: and whatever some loose spirits might suggest respecting our long absence from home, I have this testimony in my conscience, that since I have been engaged in the solemn service of the ministry, I have ever endeavoured to accomplish the duties assigned me, in as short time as I could; being desirous that I might not afford occasion of censure to such, as being unacquainted with the humbling weight of this service, may conclude that we travelled for pleasure, or to gratify a roving or curious disposition; as well as that I might spend the spare time afforded me in the exercise of my duty in my own family, and examining the state of my mind; which, after returning from journeys of this kind, as well as in going along, should be necessarily attended to: and may I never be a servant whom Divine wisdom has made a keeper of his vineyard, but who neglects the culture of his own heart.

My companion's service through the continent principally bended towards Friends, yet was she at times clearly and livingly opened to others; but my concern was mostly more general; although in the provinces of Pennsylvania and the Jerseys, wherein our Christian principles were pretty much known, it was more particularly directed to my fellow members in Society; who had perhaps been the less laboured with by ministers visiting them, on account of meetings often being much mixed with other professors. As we spent so much time in Philadelphia before we left the continent, I had many times been much enlarged in the service appointed me, both to Friends and others; and my companion, whom as a minister I preferred to myself, had extraordinary service; but as is before hinted, her bodily weakness prevented her attending meetings, some of the latter part of the time we spent in it. I may say without boasting, that we were endeared to the weighty body of Friends in that city, as well as in the other parts of the continent, and they were so to us. And after having laboured among them more than two years and seven months, we took a solemn leave in the love of the gospel, of those present in a large quarterly meeting held at Philadelphia, and left the city on the 5th of the sixth month, 1756.

We were accompanied by many Friends to Chester, and were there Divinely favoured together the next day, when we went on board a snow bound for Dublin, in company with our dear friend Samuel Fothergill, who was returning from his religious visit to Friends in America, and Abraham Farrington, who was going on one to Friends in Europe.

There were passengers in the same vessel with us, Samuel Emlen, a Friend of Philadelphia, and two other young men Friends, who were going to England by way of Ireland.

We had a very quick but stormy passage; being on board only thirty-four days, and but twenty-six of them out of sight of land. The sailors accounted it a very fine passage, but we suffered very much in it, through the boisterous winds, and their consequences. The wind being right aft, the water frequently dashed over into our cabin, although our deadlights[11] were mostly kept up; and it ran much under my bed, so as to render my lodging very uncomfortable; and, being sea-sick and otherwise indisposed, I was at times sunk very low, yet the hand of the Lord was near to sustain and comfort me. Notwithstanding the stormy weather, we had several blessed meetings on the voyage, at some of which the master and sailors were present, unto whom Divine goodness was pleased to open suitable instruction.

England was now at war with France, and by the account of some fishermen who came on board us in the Irish Channel, we narrowly escaped being taken prisoners, as two privateers were seen in the Channel, at the very time we should probably have met them, had we not for some hours been forced back by a strong contrary wind, the only one we had during the voyage, which appeared signally providential for us.

We lodged in Dublin at the house of our friend Samuel Judd, who was uncle to my companion, which was formerly the habitation of my very worthy aunt, Sarah Baker, whose services in the ministry, when resident in this city, had endeared her to Friends, and her name was precious to those of the present day.

The 10th of the seventh month, we landed at Dublin; and the 25th, after taking an affectionate leave of my dear companion and friends, Samuel Fothergill and I took shipping for England, and landed at Holyhead in Wales the 27th. Here we bought horses, and reached Chester the 29th, where my friend Samuel Fothergill left me, and where, accompanied by a young man, a Friend, I got home the 31st, I was affectionately received by my dear mother, brother and sister, who united in thankful acknowledgments of the Lord's mercy, in restoring me to them and my native land. I travelled one hundred and fifty-five miles from Holyhead in four days; and had been absent from my mother's house three years, and upwards of one month.

I had noted having travelled upon the continent and islands, upwards of eight thousand seven hundred and fifty miles, my companion not so much. When I compare the fatigues, and the various inconveniences and hardships I sustained, with my natural constitution, I cannot but admire, that I did not entirely sink under them; and, on considering the dangers attending the journey, which were too numerous for me to particularize in the foregoing account of it, I must thankfully acknowledge that the preserving sustaining hand of my heavenly Father, was signally extended for ray help and salvation. May the humbling sense of his mercies and tender care, by me unmerited, rest weightily and lastingly upon my spirit.

Chapter V.

Attends the Circular Yearly meeting at Warwick—Visits the families of Friends in Haverfordshire—Religious services in England—Attends the National Half-yearns meeting in Dublin.

Through my late long and great bodily fatigues, my constitution was so shaken, that a season of rest appeared desirable, and I rather expected it some time before I returned home; but the Lord was pleased to order it otherwise, I hope to his own honour and my preservation: for before and quickly after my arrival in England, several prospects of duty opened, which appeared likely to engage me for more than a year; and which I was favoured to accomplish in the following order.

In about two weeks after my return, I attended our quarterly meeting, where I was met by many of my dear friends, who rejoiced to see me, and we were measurably favoured together iri the Divine presence. Quickly after this I went to the circular yearly meeting for the seven western counties, which was held this year at Warwick: it was large, and attended with holy solemnity. My dear friend Samuel Fothergill and myself had the principal share in the public service, wherein the Lord favoured us; to whom be the praise of all his works now and forever. This being the usual time of harvest, with a prospect of the plentiful crops of grain being much injured by the heavy rains, Samuel Fothergill in one of his testimonies noted it, as a threatened judgment from Him who opens the flood-gates of heaven or stays them, to the effecting of his own righteous purposes. The rain continued long, so much grain was spoiled or damaged, as to occasion an extreme scarcity before the next harvest.

A few weeks after my return from this meeting, I went into Herefordshire, to visit my sister Young and her family. I there found my mind engaged to visit the meetings of Friends in that county, which I did, except one of them, and returned home by way of Worcester.

Here it appeared right for me to get an opportunity with some of the most experienced Friends of that city; that we might together consider about setting forward the good work of visiting the families of Friends in this county: of which I had a view before I reached home from Ireland; and when I came there, I found that a general visit to Friends' families throughout the nation, had been recommended by the last yearly meeting at London. I therefore found freedom to offer myself to assist in that service, provided the same could be accomplished so as not to interfere with my other prospects of duty. I also recommended to the Friends present, the establishment of a meeting for ministers and elders in the quarterly meeting for this county. We were eminently favoured in this opportunity, and I left the city in peace, and with a hope of some conclusion being come to at our next quarterly meeting.

I staid at home a few weeks, being closely engaged in writing. The 22nd of the eleventh month, I went to Worcester to attend our quarterly meeting, under a weighty exercise of spirit, having an intention, if Friends should accede to the aforesaid proposition of visiting families, to stay and join them therein. Our quarterly meeting was attended, in a good degree, with the Divine presence, yet the service of it was hard and laborious. Friends were backward in regard to giving in their names to enter upon the visit to families, concluding themselves unfit for so weighty a work; however some were nominated, with whom I united, and concluded to stay, and see how Providence might favour the undertaking. I had some struggle between affection to my natural parent, and the pursuit of the service before me; my dear and aged mother being likely to be left without either of her daughters; my sister Ann being with my sister Young, whose children had the small-pox; but I was enabled to pursue my duty, and to commit her to the care of gracious Providence; whose regard I found by account from herself, she signally experienced in my absence, and encouraged me to continue in the service. I began in great diffidence, and went through the families of Friends in the city; but the Lord was with me, and frequently clothed me with strength and wisdom suited to the occasion. I was considerably favoured while in the city in the exercise of my gift in the public meetings of Friends, took leave of them in much love, and left it in peace and thankfulness.

The 19th of the twelfth month, being accompanied by Mary Oldbury, a young woman of Worcester, who had an acceptable gift in the ministry, I went to Pershore, a town wherein no member of our Society resided; but Friends having a meeting-house there, held a meeting quarterly, which was this day. It was large, but mostly composed of people of other societies, I sat about an hour and an half silent, in which season my spirit was sweetly composed, and resigned to wait the Lord's time to be put forth in service; wherein I was afterwards much favoured, the testimony of Truth being exalted in its own authority. The people were very solid and attentive, and I left the town in peace, accompanied by the before-mentioned Friend Mary Oldbury, to visit the families of Friends in Evesham and Shipston, which we were favoured to accomplish to a good degree of satisfaction. We sat with Friends in a few of the meetings in Warwickshire, and so came to my own monthly meeting of Chadwick, having visited almost all the families of Friends in the several towns which constitute it, which were four. I returned home in peace and thankfulness for the gracious assistance vouchsafed by Divine goodness, through this laborious service, the 24th of the first month 1757.

I staid about home until the latter end of the third month, in which interval I was closely engaged in attending to services as they opened in that quarter, and preparing for those distant ones, which had been impressed upon my mind to be executed this summer; naemly, the attending the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, and from that to the national meeting at Dublin; so to the yearly meeting at London, and the succeeding quarterly meetings in Essex, Suffolk, and Norfolk; which are styled yearly meetings, because at that quarter in the year, there are some additional meetings for worship held, which are generally large, both of Friends and others; and after these meetings to visit the few Friends remaining in Holland.

My dear friend Lucy Bradley, being engaged to visit Friends in Ireland, concluded to accompany me to Dublin. I met her at Stourbridge on the 23rd of the third month, and left her there for a few days with her relations, with an expectation that she would meet me the 27th. I took an affectionate leave of my dear mother and brother, and went, accompanied by my sister Ann to Wednesbury; a town at which a meeting was held quarterly, which happened to be on that day. Here I expected Lucy Bradley to meet me, and that we should from there have pursued our journey together, but being prevented from coming, through indisposition, she informed me that she hoped to be able to meet me in a few days.

The meeting was large both of Friends and others, and divinely favoured; and after it I took leave of my sister and several friends, and went that night to Rugely in Staffordshire, and as I had for some time had a view of visiting the families of Friends in that county, who are not numerous, I entered upon that service the 28th, and visited such as were in that place, with some satisfaction.

The 29th, I went to Stafford, at which place the quarterly meeting for the county was that day held, and I laid before Friends my concern for visiting the families, and had their concurrence therewith.

Here I met with my friend Samuel Emlen, who came passenger with me in the same ship from America to Ireland; in which nation he had travelled as companion to his aged countryman Abraham Farrington, and had himself appeared in the ministry in that nation, to the satisfaction of Friends. As he was in a weak, low state of mind, I was inclined to take him with me for a few days. Accordingly we left Stafford in company, and having visited several Friends' families in the country, went to Uttoxeter; where we proceeded in the same service. My companion Lucy Bradley came to me here, to our mutual comfort. We were favoured together with a blessed opportunity in the friend's family where we lodged; and after committing each other to the protection of Providence, we parted from Samuel Emlen and went to Leek; where we also visited the families of Friends, which we were favoured to finish the 8th of the fourth month, I hope to the mutual satisfaction of ourselves, and of the Friends of the county who accompanied us in that service.

During my engagement in this weighty work, I was surprised with the intelligence that my endeared friend and companion, Mary Peisley, was removed from mutability. She had been married but three days to Samuel Neale, a Friend of Ireland, and went off with a few hours indisposition; being doubtless removed from the prospect of a settlement on earth, to a glorious eternal inheritance; for which she appeared more visibly prepared than many others of the Lord's servants. We had been companions together in many probations, and our union in the Truth was strong, so that her death affected me deeply, the more so from being attended with so singular a circumstance; yet was my spirit thankful that she was taken at an hour when her crown shone brightly. She had been a great example to me in many respects, and I begged to be assisted to follow her, as she had followed Christ.

The 9th we went to Warrington, where a renewed occasion of thankfulness to gracious Providence was administered, by the probability of the recovery of our dear friend Samuel Fothergill, from an indisposition wherein his life had been despaired of. This had much affected my mind, from the consideration of the great loss the church would sustain by his removal, and myself as an individual member thereof; yet dared I not ask his longer continuance in this state of trials and dangers, knowing that if Divine wisdom called him out of it now, it would certainly be in the best time.

From Warrington we went, through several meetings in Lancashire, to the quarterly meeting at Lancaster, which was signally favoured with the manifestation of Divine regard through the ministry. I remember, before the public meeting, I was sunk so low, that I scarcely expected ever more to be set at liberty in the exercise of my gift as heretofore; yet could not see what I had done to occasion a loss therein; but in the meeting I was as remarkably raised. Thus are the poor instruments abased and honoured for their own preservation, and the good of the church; the one dispensation being as a ballast for the other.

The 26th, we went in company with several Friends towards Penrith, where the yearly meeting for the four northern counties was to be held. In our way we called upon that truly honourable mother in Israel, Grace Chambers, who was very ancient and had been long indisposed, with whom we were favoured with a refreshing opportunity. How encouraging it is to young travellers, to behold and consider such examples of perseverance! It baffles the efforts of the adversary, to persuade that it is impossible to hold out to the end; and raises this language in the soul. Lord, let my life and latter end be like theirs. At Penrith we met my beloved friend Abraham Farrington, another of these ancient worthies, and we mutually rejoiced to see each other.

The yearly meeting was large, both of Friends and people of other societies. My spirit was bowed before the Almighty, that I might be preserved acting in my proper place, in the course of my service therein, and that my conduct might be unblamable; and through mercy, I had humbling cause of thankfulness administered in the close thereof, to Him who had exalted his own name and testimony through so weak an instrument; unto whom be the praise now and forever, says my soul! Although this meeting was attended by several able ministers of the male sex, it pleased the wise Master of the solemnity to employ them but little, and to lay the weight of the service upon the females; who, though the weaker vessels by nature, are at times rendered strong through his Divine power: and our brethren rejoiced that it was apparently so, through the course of these meetings.

The exercise of my mind while at Penrith, was added to by the prospect of my concern for visiting some parts of Holland; for although before I left home I was resigned thereto, and had imparted it to my relations, as well as to Friends of the monthly meeting, that they might consider respecting granting me a certificate; yet now on its near approach, my lack of the language, the various notions in religion which I knew prevailed amongst that people, my sex, and for aught I knew, the being exposed to much hardship, revolved in my mind; and being opposed to my little strength, depressed my spirits, yet not so as to cause me to turn from the prospect, or prevent my wrestling with the Almighty for wisdom and strength, to know and do his will.

After the yearly meeting at Penrith, we went to Cockermouth, and there attended a large general meeting. My concern for Holland continuing, and not expecting to be at home in time to attend our monthly meeting, I wrote to my brother to procure a certificate for the accomplishment thereof.

The 3rd, we went on board a vessel bound from Whitehaven to Dublin, and arrived at that city the 5th, having been favoured with fine weather on our passage; but my spirit was much stripped of a sense of divine good, and as I drew near the city it became depressed; in which state I landed, and proceeded to my lodgings at Samuel Judd's. At my entering his house, the remembrance of dear Mary Peisley affectingly occurred. It was in this house that we separated in our return from America; and therein we had spent many precious hours, in sweet union of spirit. The national meeting began the 7th and continued till the 12th. It was a season of close engagement and hard labour, both in the meetings for worship and discipline; but I was favoured in it with the unity of the living members of the Society, and the helping hand of the Almighty and in the close, was humbly bowed before him under a sense of his goodness, variously manifested in sustaining my weak body under such laborious exercises, and strengthening me spiritually to testify boldly against the sins of the people: which although it might expose me to their censure, yielded to my soul the peaceable fruits of righteousness.

After the conclusion of the national meeting, I requested a friend to go and take my passage, saying, I must get to our quarterly meeting; on which a friend present said, I spoke as if I had the wind at command. I replied, that if the Lord appointed my being there, he would dispose the wind to favour it, which happened accordingly.

The 14th, I parted from my dear companion Lucy Bradley in much affection, and quietly went on board a vessel bound for Parkgate, accompanied by my friends Abraham Shackleton, Thomas Greer, and Joseph Inman, who were going to the yearly meeting at London. We landed at our designed port the 15th, and reached Stourbridge on the 17th, where the quarterly meeting for Worcestershire was to be held; and the meeting for ministers and elders began soon after we came there.

Here I was met by my dear mother and brother, to our mutual rejoicing; and my heart was deeply affected with love and gratitude, under the consideration of the many mercies extended to me; and strong desires were raised to be enabled so to persevere, as to be favoured with the continuance thereof We had a good meeting, and many Friends who attended it rejoiced to see me returned in safety, and after taking an affectionate leave of them, I went home.

Chapter VI.

Goes to Holland on religious service—Visits the few Friends there—Letter to a young man—attends meetings in Norfolk, Lincolnshire, and Yorkshire—Returns home—Letter to a person under religious exercises.

I STAID a few days with my relations, and set forward, with my dear brother and the before- mentioned Friends from Ireland, for the yearly meeting at London. In our way thereto we met our friends Samuel Fothergill and Abraham Farrington, to whom I imparted my view of visiting Friends in Holland, wherein they sympathized with me. At London I laid my concern before the meeting for ministers and elders; and it met the approbation of my friends, and a suitable companion was prepared for me by my good Master, namely Sophia Hume, of London.

It is worthy remarking, that when this journey was first presented to my mind, this Friend was pointed out as a companion therein; yet had I not freedom to write, or say any thing to her thereupon, until I had thus proposed it for the consideration of Friends; when I found that kind Providence had cared for me, as she had for some time found her mind engaged to hold herself in readiness to accompany some Friend on a journey, though she knew not whom nor whereto, but on my mentioning my concern, saw both. John Kendal, a Friend of Colchester, who could speak Dutch, was engaged in love to accompany us. Thus does the Lord mercifully provide all things necessary for such of his servants, as are freely given up to run on his errands, and move simply by his directions.

The yearly meeting at London was overshadowed with the wing of Divine love. I had some satisfactory service therein; and on the 7th of the sixth month I went to Plaistow, to visit my dear and ancient friend John Hayward; and here I parted in much affection with my dear brother, and with Samuel and Ann Fothergill.

The 9th, I went to Chelmsford, where I staid until the 12th, being in need of a little rest. Here my companion Sophia Hume came to me, and we went together, with Abraham Farrington, to the before-mentioned quarterly meetings held at Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich; in all of which I was laboriously exercised, and the hand of my heavenly Father was with me; through which I was made strong in his cause, and I hope the meetings ended to the honour of his worthy name.

Under a sense thereof, my spirit bowed in thankfulness to Him, who clothes with strength for the battle, and by his own right arm gets himself the victory: unto whose service may my soul be bound forever! We staid' about three weeks in Norwich, in which city there is a large body of Friends, unto whom a powerful visitation of Divine love had latterly been extended; through the prevalence whereof several natural members, or branches of our own Society, had in a good degree submitted to the simplicity of the cross; and others had been gathered to the immediate teachings of the Shepherd of Israel, from other religious societies. Several had appeared in public testimony, for whom in an especial manner our spirits were exercised, that they might honour God in their respective callings, by an exemplary conduct and a living ministry.

I had much service amongst them in the openings of Divine wisdom and love, wherein some of the dangers which attended them were pointed out. I was also concerned, closely to reprove such as had sustained loss in the Truth, by letting out their minds after terrestrial enjoyments, and were seeking great things to themselves, whereby the Lord's work in them was marred.

From Norwich we went to Harwich, and on the 21st of the seventh month, 1757, accompanied by John Kendal, went on board the packet bound for Helvoetsluys, where we landed the next day. There we took a carriage and went to the Briel, a pretty large town; but I did not find that ever any of our Society resided therein, and the people seemed very ignorant respecting us: for as we walked the streets, offence was taken at our friend John Kendal, for not returning the customary salutation, of putting off” the hat in the same manner.

My spirit was very low on my arrival in this country, on account of the difficulty I laboured under for lack of knowing the language. Could either myself or my companion have spoken Dutch, we might have explained to the man, who was an officer in the army, our reasons for not returning his civility, for such it appeared to be; and he was very much irritated at John Kendal's not noting it as such.

From the Briel we went in a boat to Rotterdam, which is a large city, wherein there was formerly a meeting of Friends, and where still remains a meeting-house, and there are a few who were educated among us; but they had so little regard to the testimony of Truth and the welfare of their souls, as entirely to neglect assembling to worship the Almighty; yet were not content to profess with any other people.

We had no inclination to call upon any of these; but having information that the meetinghouse was under the care of persons who were the descendants of Friends, we called at their house, and desired that the meeting-house might be got in readiness for us to have a meeting there at our return, which one of them promised it should be. He behaved civilly, but appeared very distant from the profession of his ancestors.

These persons were great tradesmen, had become rich, and much in the grandeur of this world, and were now of the society of the Menists or Baptists.

The next day we went in the trackscuyts, by way of Delft and Leyden, in neither of which cities are any under our name, to Harlem, where lived the person who used to interpret for Friends from England: upon whom we called, but found him so enfeebled, as to be entirely unfit for that service. Here we were met by Sophia Vander Werf and her son John, from Amsterdam. She was a woman of a sweet natural disposition, came amongst Friends by convincement, and had received a gift in the ministry, in the exercise of which I believe she was acceptable to Friends. The young man had resided a considerable time in England; he spoke English well for a Dutchman, and I looked towards him for an interpreter; but although he appeared to have a sense of Truth, I feared his being deep enough in the experimental work of it for that service: so I said nothing to him, and proceeded to Amsterdam under some discouragement. In this city, a lodging was provided for us by Friends, at the house of Abraham Herman, which appeared the most suitable place for our reception of any belonging to them. He with his wife received us kindly, and treated us so while we staid with them. It was seventh-day evening when we came to Amsterdam, and before John Vander Werf left us, I asked him whether he was willing to assist us as an interpreter; but he modestly declined, pleading his unfitness for the service. John Kendal also refused, on account of his deficiency in the language to interpret in a public meeting, although he could speak Dutch in the common course of conversation.

Under these discouraging circumstances I went to bed, beseeching the Almighty to lay a concern upon some one to assist me. When I arose in the morning, my spirit was low, yet not doubtful of my being right in coming into this country. In this state I went to meeting, without any expectation of an interpreter being provided for me at that meeting; and therefore rather expected to be silent therein. The meeting was pretty large, but we were told, less than at some other times: for although there are but few professing the Truth in this city, it is customary for people of all religious societies, nations and qualities, who come there on account of business or pleasure, to go to our meetings, most of them doubtless from the motive of curiosity; but the solidity of the countenance and demeanour of some present, and the knowledge I afterwards had of them, convinced me that they were actuated by a better motive.

In the fore part of the meeting, my spirit was much exercised and broken under the consideration of having no interpreter; yet supported in hope of the provision of Providence: for it appeared to me inconsistent with Divine wisdom and mercy to bring me here, and not to open the way for me to convey his will to the people. After some time a Dutch Friend bore a short testimony; and soon after he sat down, something arose in my mind, by way of information to the people respecting our motives for coming amongst them; and I was quickly favoured with strength to stand up, intending to say that I had something to communicate to them, which if any one present would interpret, I would impart; but I was not obliged to proceed thus far, for upon seeing me rise, John Vander Werf rose also, came and stood by me in the gallery, and interpreted what I said to the present relief of my spirit, and the satisfaction of such Friends present as understood both Dutch and English.

I found it so difficult to convey the doctrines of Truth in this way to the people, that it appeared almost impossible to get relief of mind, or liberty of expression, to that degree I had sometimes been favoured in my own tongue, I spoke a sentence, and stopped for the interpreter to speak it after me; and I was thankful that kind Providence had so far answered my belief of his providing for me; and was comforted in the hope that his blessing, which alone makes fruitful, might be dropped upon my weak endeavours for the exaltation of his Truth. The meeting ended in solemn supplication, in which exercise I had no interpreter, John Vander Werf being unwilling to undertake that awful service. Some present might understand English well enough to comprehend what I said; and others, I believe, were sensible of the Divine power which overshadowed the meeting.

The afternoon meeting was neither so large, nor yet so satisfactory, as that of the morning; which I thought might be occasioned by a fellow- minister withholding what Divine wisdom required to distribute; whereby my service to the people appeared to be impeded, and the life of truth being low, I said but little. I left the meeting under some discouragement, yet not without hope of being more at liberty before I left the city.

We staid in and about Amsterdam till the 5th of the eighth month, in all which time we had no meeting but in the city; nor did it appear likely we should have many elsewhere in the country, by reason of my interpreter being clerk to a merchant, whose business did not admit of his being much absent, save on first-days.

In this time we had several pretty good opportunities with Friends and the people; yet I seemed as an ambassador in bonds, but laboured to be content in the present dispensation.

We were visited by several religious people, with some of whom I felt a degree of union in the Truth; but saw their loss in running after notions, and not settling in the ground of true silence, wherein the mind becomes established in rectitude: and it appeared proper to set them an example therein; and to be cautious of running into religious discourse, to which they are much addicted, without feeling liberty for it in the Truth. We visited a religious Menist, and had some satisfactory service in his family.

There are a number among that people who are near Christ's kingdom, though not fully redeemed from inefficacious ceremonies, and a dependence on instrumental ministry, or at least a fondness for it.

While at Amsterdam she wrote the following letter:

To a young man in Ireland, who had been long under religious impressions.

Amsterdam, 1st of Eighth month, 1757.

Yours of the 5th ult. I received yesterday, and with a degree of satisfaction have observed its contents; although it seems to breathe the language of complaint, or at least fear of falling short of the mark you have had in view, and I hope are pressing after. Although this is a state painful to nature, it is sometimes a state of greater safety, and more directly pointing to perfection, than is that of ease, or even of the aboundings of sensible consolations: whereby some have been induced to conclude themselves in a better and safer state than they really were, and so have grown less watchful and diffident of their own judgment; and spiritual pride and vain-glory have entered, wherein they have boasted above their measure of experience; and at last “turned the grace of God into wantonness,” and their latter end has been far worse than their beginning. But in the seasons of the withdrawings of Divine goodness, the soul that is earnestly bent to obtain the kingdom of God, which stands “in righteousness” as well as “in peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,” is set upon searching what is the cause of its being thus deserted; and so “digs deep” through the corruption of fallen nature, and “lays its foundation sure” in the experience of the purifying operation of the Spirit of Truth; and against such it is that “the gates of hell shall not prevail:” and that you and I may be of this happy number, is the travail of my spirit.

It is most certain that our journey through life is as through a vale of tears, wherein various will be our conflicts, and numerous our trials, both inwardly and outwardly; but we have this encouraging promise left us, that “all shall work together for the good of such as truly love and fear God.” And as our hopes and desires are fixed on an infinitely better country, the joys whereof are pure and eternally permanent, let us not repine at the means used to secure them to us; but with all possible cheerfulness take the cup which Divine Providence hands forth to us, as “the cup of his salvation;” and steadily endeavour for that mind, wherewith the blessed Jesus was clothed, which says continually, “Your will be done;” even in the bitter baptism of crucifixion, which every true-born child of God must be partaker of; and under the bitter pangs of death to the fallen nature, will have to cry out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” O! if this was the language of the Master, the immaculate Lamb of God, who knew no sin; no wonder that it is the language of the servant, who has been defiled therewith; and from which he must be washed, before he can have part with the Son in his inheritance. I have looked upon it as an infinite mercy to be led deep enough in humiliation, to be stripped of all that has any appearance of what is good and excellent, and to have this the secret language of the soul to Him who sees in secret, “I am a worm, and no man:” and although the consolatory portion of such as these may be sometimes hid, or withheld for a season; yet they are sure, being in the hands of infinite Wisdom, Truth and Mercy; who, in the wise appointment of his providence, will give to his own what they stand in need of; and when the days of fasting and humiliation are accomplished, will assuredly “bless the provision of Zion, and satisfy her poor with bread.”

I thought when I last left Dublin, if I were in debt to any one in it, it was to yourself Perhaps your letter may open a way for me to pay it; although I do not remember that any thing of the above was upon my mind for you; but a hint of advice seemed to bend toward you, to beware with whom you enter into the covenant of friendship, lest in the end you shouldest be wounded by their backslidings: and let me also add, beware of looking out at the misconduct of Others, with a discouraging eye; for although “thousands may fall as by your side, and tens of thousands as at your right hand,” yet if you “make the Most High your refuge,” by a steady and faithful obedience to his will, he will preserve you.

Through mercy I am favoured with a good degree of health and peace in my going forward, although the present concern wherein I am engaged is attended with some discouraging circumstances, yet I have faith that I am here in the appointment of heaven.

If Lucy Bradley and companion have not left Dublin before this comes to hand, please to present my dear love to them; and tell Lucy that I wrote her since I came to this city, wherein I hinted my expectation of seeing York in my return home.

My love in that which is unchangeable strongly attends you, and the tried remnant of spiritual Israel in your city and nation, who, although they are few, are too numerous for me to particularise: shall therefore give you a general commission to present my love to such as you have freedom; and conclude myself, Your well-wishing friend,

Catharine Payton.

The 5th of the eighth month, we went in the trackscuyts, as far as Horn, towards Twisk, our friend Sophia Vander Werf accompanying us. At Horn we called on two religious Menists; the one a preacher amongst them, who seemed more gathered into stillness than most of that persuasion, and his wife near the Truth; the other much inclined to discourse on religious matters, in whose family I found an engagement to leave a short testimony to the benefit of silence, which they appeared to receive well. As we passed through the towns, we scattered some books setting forth our principles.

A Friend from Twisk met us here with a wagon, wherein we went home with him that evening.

At Twisk there is a small meeting of professors of Truth, but we found them much in the mixture, and some of them so exalted in notion, that it was hard fastening any solid doctrine upon them. We were at two meetings with them, and several of the Menists; both of which were exercising, that in the morning particularly so; but I was comforted with an evidence that my service, weak and imperfect as it appeared to me, was accepted of Him who employed me. The afternoon meeting was more satisfactory, although laborious. The Menist preacher before mentioned, with his wife and son, were with us, in whose company we had a degree of satisfaction. The next morning we procured a select opportunity with most of the Friends belonging to the meeting, at the house of a valuable woman Friend, whose circumstances demanded our sympathy; she dwelling solitarily and having been many years confined through extreme weakness. She was such a pattern of resignation and cheerful innocence, as I had rarely seen. Her very countenance bespoke acquiescence with the allotment of Providence, and not one complaining word dropped from her. This meeting tended to the relief of our spirits, and we took leave of the said Friend and others in love, and returned to Amsterdam again, dispersing some books in our way; which was all we could do, as our interpreter could not stay with us to have meetings in the towns.

On our return to Amsterdam, we visited almost all who could be accounted members of our Society, in their families, and attended the meetings on first and week-days, as they came in course, until the 21st: in which time I had several good opportunities with the people of that city, and the strangers who attended the meetings, and left it in peace.

One visit we paid in Amsterdam was so remarkable in its consequence, that I note it: A man who was convinced of Truth, had a turbulent spirited wife, who had violently opposed his going amongst Friends; and after one meeting which he attended with us, railed much; nevertheless, she sent us an invitation to sup with her, and it appeared best for us to accept it. She provided handsomely for us, but seemed to be in a wrangling spirit. She talked about dress being an indifferent matter; upon which I told her, that the adorning of Christian women, should be that of a “meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God was of great price.” This struck and silenced her, and she afterwards behaved obligingly to us.

After we had paid this visit, her husband told us, that some time before, as they were going to bed, she, being in a very bad temper, would not let him rest; and, although he was in bed before her, I think he arose again. She took up the bible, I suppose, to convince him of his errors, and opened it upon this very text; which then so affected her, that she condemned herself, kneeled down to pray for forgiveness, and promised that she would never more treat him so improperly; but she had not kept her promise, and the text being now revived in her remembrance, it again affected her. We were quite ignorant of the circumstance.

The 21st, we had a meeting at Harlem to good satisfaction. We lodged at Isaac Van Westercappel's, who furnished us with a room to hold a meeting in, and gave notice of it to the people. He was descended from Friends by the mother's side, but he himself never made profession with us. He was exceedingly kind to us, and with his family, appeared to be seeking after the best things. In the evening we had the company of some seeking people, most of them of the offspring of Friends, with whom we had conversation upon religious subjects.

In our public meeting at this place, I was more at liberty in the exercise of my gift, than had been usual with me in Holland; at which I afterwards admired, being told that my interpreter was uncommonly defective in rendering what I said into Dutch. This circumstance sometimes revolved in my remembrance, accompanied with some kind of doubt respecting my being so much at liberty to speak, when what I delivered was not well interpreted to the people; but after some years, a Friend of Norwich told me, that there was at that meeting a sensible man, a Jew, who understood the English tongue well, who told him that he had attended the meeting, and that my interpreter did not do me justice; but continued he, It was no matter, as all she said was directed to me:' and my friend added, that it so affected him, that he believed he would freely interpret for me, should I ever lack his assistance. This relation removed my before mentioned doubt, for the word preached found its way to one mind, for which in Divine wisdom it was appointed.

The 22nd, we parted with my interpreter John Vander Werf, for whom I was concerned, and sympathised with him, as he was left almost alone, in regard to Friends, and much exposed in the course of his business; and from the affability and sprightliness of his disposition, he appeared to be in much danger: but I conceived hope in the sense of the extendings of Divine goodness being singularly towards him.

We also took leave of our kind host, Isaac Van Westercappel, and several of his family and friends in love and tenderness, and went to Rotterdam, where his daughter Susanna Van Westercappel, a serious agreeable young woman, and our friend Sophia Vander Werf accompanied us. In our way, we distributed books to some people in the trackscuyts, and the same evening had a meeting at Rotterdam with some people who understood English, of which there are many, in that place.

The 23rd, our kind friends Sophia Vander Werf and Susanna Van Westercappel left us, and we went to the Briel, and from there, the 24th, to Helvoetsluys. In our way from Rotterdam to this place we met with several persons who were going to England, with whom we had much discourse concerning our religious principles, I believe measurably to our mutual satisfaction.

One of them was a Swede, a Lutheran by profession; he was favoured with a good understanding, and had a mind susceptible of religious impressions; although his conduct was not so uniformly exemplary as could have been desired.

On coming to Helvoetsluys, we found that the wind was against our sailing for England, and that the inn was full of company, many of whom were waiting for their passage to England: so the landlord put us in a house which was ready furnished, and we became a family to ourselves, being furnished with provisions from the inn. The wind continuing contrary until the first-day of the week, and there being in the place many people of various nations and stations who could speak English—with the concurrence and assistance of our landlord and company, we got our dining room well seated; and on the first-day morning held a meeting in it, whereto the strangers pretty generally came.

I was favoured to declare the Truth amongst them, to the relief of my own spirit, and I believe to the comfort and satisfaction of my companions; but the labour was hard, through the unpreparedness of the hearts of some to receive, and perhaps the lack of a sufficient knowledge of the language in others, to understand the doctrines delivered.

The 29th in the evening, the wind turned in our favour, and continued so, until about the middle of the next day; but our captain would not put to sea without a pretty steady wind, because of the French privateers: however, we went on board that day and set sail, and the wind being very boisterous our jib-sail was soon rent; and another packet boat going out with us, struck upon the Pales, broke a hole in her side, and as the passengers said, was in danger of being lost. The wind continuing to blow hard and contrary, we soon came to an anchor, and the next morning returned back to Helvoetsluys; and the following day, the 1st of the ninth month, we were favoured with a fair wind, and arrived at Harwich the 2nd, in peace and thankfulness to the Almighty, I had to admire his goodness, in thus preserving and supporting my body and mind by sea and land, and through all the exercises attendant on this journey, amongst a people of a strange language.

Even our detention at Helvoetsluys appeared to be in the ordering of Divine wisdom and mercy to the people there visited; and in our select company we had frequent opportunities of conversing upon edifying subjects; some of our companions seeming willing to gain information respecting Friends and their principles.

Once the subject of self-defence was started, which they might probably think we could not invalidate; but we were enabled to give a reason for dissenting from them in sentiment, and on its being queried what we would do if attacked, and must either be killed, or kill; I said, I could not say how I should act at such a juncture, wherein nature might be improperly raised; but that now being favoured with the hope of my immortal spirit's centering safely, and knowing that a person who sought my life, must be in an unfit state to enter Christ's holy kingdom, I should rather choose to die, than plunge that soul into everlasting misery; and should have greatly the advantage in being released from this state of trials. They heard with attention, and the Swede with tears in his eyes, replied, these are indeed sublime sentiments.' We had been so long detained at Helvoetsluys, that our money grew short, but the captain said we should have what we needed from him; however, we had enough to pay our passage, and bear our expenses, excepting the hire of our chaise to Colchester: which we reached almost pennyless the 3rd, and were affectionately received by John Kendal's mother, and other Friends.

After a short stay at Colchester, I went with my companion Sophia Hume to Kelvedon, where we were favoured with a comfortable meeting with Friends, and parting in much love, she went for London. She had been to me a steady, affectionate, sympathising companion; and although in this journey, not much engaged in public ministry, she was very helpful in meetings, through a deep spiritual exercise; and being endowed with a good understanding, both naturally and spiritually, she was qualified to give an answer of “her faith and the hope that was in her:” and I was often thankful to the bounteous Author of all my mercies, for furnishing me with so suitable a companion.

From Kelvedon, I went without any companion, through several meetings, to Norwich, where I was favoured in the service appointed me, but staid there only a few days; proceeding from there through some meetings in Lincolnshire, to the quarterly meeting at York; where I again met with Abraham Farrington, who with many more of my friends, rejoiced at my being returned to my native land in peace and safety.

From York, I passed through several meetings in that county, wherein the Lord was pleased to vary the dispensations of his wisdom, by dipping me into a state of great suffering; which I could not get above, but which I saw to be good, near the close of a journey wherein I had been so eminently favoured; as it tended to preserve me from clothing myself with the Lord's jewels, and humbled my spirit to the very dust. From Yorkshire I went to Manchester and Warrington, where I regained a little liberty in the Truth, and so proceeded to some meetings in Cheshire; in one of which I thought I was raised higher, in the Divine life, in the exercise of my gift, than I had been throughout the journey. Thus does Divine wisdom abase and exalt at his pleasure, unto whom be glory, honour, and praise ascribed, now and forever.

The 15th of the tenth month, I got home to the mutual satisfaction of myself and relations; and, notwithstanding my great fatigue, in a rather better state of health than when I left it; and found my dear and aged mother well. Here I also met my dear friend Lucy Bradley, who was returning home from her visit to Friends in Ireland, and our rejoicing one in another was mutual.

The 17th, we went together to our monthly meeting, wherein I gave to Friends some account of my service and satisfaction in this journey; and my spirit was much humbled in a sense of the providential care and abundant loving-kindness of a merciful God, variously displayed to this period of my life.

This winter I spent much about home, and amongst my relations: not in idleness, for I was very closely engaged either in attending monthly or quarterly meetings, or other services.

Extract of a letter to a young man, under religious exercises.

Esteemed Friend,—Yours of yesterday I just now received; and am concerned to find by its contents, that indisposition prevents your meeting us as proposed; but as through faith and patience every affliction may be sanctified, I cannot but hope the present may tend further to refine your spirit and enlarge your understanding in Divine truths; which are not always manifested in the hours of consolation, but must be painfully felt in the depths of experience.

That beautifully strong expression in sacred writ, that “The Lord makes the clouds his chariot,” has of late often been revived in my remembrance; with this illustration, that when a cloud is over us, who have known and rejoiced in the light, it is good to stand still, and hearken for that “small still voice” proceeding from it, which alone can compose and settle the soul.

To be sure it is a necessary duty to search our hearts, and not in so doing to evade the judgment of Truth; but it is also well to guard against too hasty conclusions of the causes and ends of exercises; especially in an hour of weakness, wherein the old accuser is not lacking on his part, to suggest the most painful apprehensions, thereby to dispirit the mind that seeks to be freed from his insupportable yoke.

The new discovery you makest of the delusiveness of your thoughts, affords me much satisfaction, as it gives good ground to hope, that the Lord designs to lead you to a state of perfection, which few, very few, have seen into; that is, an entire abdication of self, even in its most pleasing and seemingly lawful appearances.

That of an ideal satisfaction in something seemingly good, yet short of the Divine perfection, is an exercise which attends many, and has prevailed against some, at least to the diminution of that lustre which would have shone around them. It is a favour so quickly to see into it, and having seen, I hope you will endeavour to avoid it, and the Lord will help you.

There is no happiness here equal to perfect redemption from the world, its spirit, and ourselves. To have no hopes, no desires, but in the will of God, is fully giving ourselves into his holy hand, and to be swallowed up of him, though of this, for lack of Divine sensation, we may sometimes be ignorant. Here methinks I almost hear you say, This is the state I long for, but it is distant, very distant, from me.' But is it not as of yesterday you saw into it, and would you be perfect at once, and enjoy a victory without a fight? This my friend is the summit of the mount of perfection, which you have lately begun to ascend, and in your journey I sincerely wish you good speed; and from the quietude which I at present feel about you, I cannot but hope you are in the best of hands: may a sense thereof be communicated in the most needful time.

Catharine Payton

Chapter VII.

Attends the Yearly meetings in Wales, at Bristol, and London—Embarks for Ireland—Detained by contrary winds—Returns home—Epistle to Friends in Ireland—Visits meetings in Oxfordshire and Northamptonshire—Visits the meetings of Friends in Ireland—Returns home und visits Derbyshire, Yorkshire and Lancashire—Yearly meeting in London—Colchester—Woodbridge and Norwich—Goes into Lincolnshire, Yorkshire, etc.—Epistle to a Quarterly meeting—death of her sister—Religious services in London, etc.—Attends the Yearly meetings in Wales and Lancashire,—Illness and death of her brother Henry.

The 6th of the fourth month, 1758, I left home, to attend the yearly meetings of Wales, Bristol, and London; in all which, especially the two first, I was Divinely favoured; and returned home, in peace and thankfulness, in the fifth month.

Towards the fall of the year, I attended our circular yearly meeting held at Kidderminster, which was large and very satisfactory. After this meeting, being inclined to visit some provincial meetings, etc. in Ireland, I went with my dear friend Samuel Fothergill to Warrington, and from there proceeded to Liverpool, in order to take shipping for Dublin; but finding no vessel there ready to sail, I sent to inquire whether any one was going from Parkgate; and the messenger returning, said there was one, but that she would sail the next tide, and that it was then too late to reach her. I was pretty earnest to try, but some friends, who I thought were acquainted with the time of the tide's turning, dissuaded me from attempting it.

So I gave it up reluctantly, fearing I should lose the opportunity of getting my passage in time for the meetings; and I afterwards heard that the tide did not turn till an hour after the time they said it would; so had I gone, I might probably have reached the vessel in time.

I waited at Liverpool more than a week, most of that time in almost constant expectation of sailing, a vessel being soon ready to sail, but the wind was contrary. At length I went on board, and we set sail with a fair wind, but it quickly turned against us, and we lay all night at anchor in a small harbour called Hoylake.

The wind blew hard, and I esteemed it a singular favour that our captain was persuaded to lay at anchor; for we might have been in imminent danger of perishing among the sand-banks, had he stood out to sea; which I had some reason to believe he would have done, had I not been on board; for I being set to a day in getting to Dublin, in order to attend the province meetings, had requested him, if there were not a probability of our making our passage in time, to set me on shore somewhere in Great Britain; which he promised to do if he could. The vessel being small and very full of passengers, who in the night crowded into the cabin, it was so extremely close, that I was much afflicted both in body and mind: under which I sought for Divine direction respecting proceeding forward in the vessel, should the wind prove favourable in the morning, I thought I felt my mind turned to the shore, and released from the weight of the journey, at least for the present; therefore when it was light, I desired the captain to endeavour to put me on shore, and he accordingly hung out a flag for a boat to come and take me; but none came, and as the wind had again shifted in their favour, and it appeared hazardous to send the ship's boat with me, lest she should not return time enough for her sailing, I feared I must stay with them; but unexpectedly the captain offered the boat and men, provided I would be left on the beach with my saddle and clothes, and let the men return to the vessel immediately; to which I agreed, and left the vessel, under the probability of her making her passage. A poor woman of Ireland who had no mind to proceed in her, went on shore with me, who, with her little girl, carried my saddle, etc. about half a mile, to a public house, where I breakfasted, and got a man and horses to take me to Liverpool. I proceeded pensively, lest I should have missed my way in leaving the vessel; yet I could commit my case to the Lord, who knew I had acted in simplicity. In our way we saw the vessel under sail, just turning out of the harbour on her course. When we reached Liverpool I was much fatigued, and low both in body and mind, having slept little in the night; but after some rest I attended the funeral of a child the same evening, and in the meeting the Lord so favoured, that my fears about leaving the vessel in a great degree vanished.

After meeting I found that the wind was turned against her, and continued to blow very hard all that night; and the next morning the vessel came back to Liverpool. I staid there the next day, and then returned to Warrington, and was at the meetings at Penketh and Warrington the next day, and so proceeded home, taking in my way there a meeting at Nantwich.

Although I had been thus disappointed, I had reason to hope that my leaving home was not without some fruit to others as well as to myself; so that my soul had cause to bless the sacred name of Him, who sanctifies every trial to his children.

The day I staid at Liverpool, I penned the rough draught of an Epistle to Friends in Ireland, and after my return home transcribed and sent it. The Epistle is as follows:

To Friends in Ireland.

Dear Friends,—As I am prevented by contrary winds from paying a visit this fall, to some of your Province meetings, etc. (for which end I proceeded as far as Liverpool); in the strength of that unfeigned love of the brethren which drew me from my home, am I endeavouring to salute you by a few lines: in hope the Divine wisdom and mercy may direct my pen, to the present relief of my own spirit, and your help.

And first, dear friends, permit me to inform you, that the lamentable state of our church, is almost continually before me. This in yours as well as other countries, has suffered greatly by the baneful prevalence of the spirit of this world; insomuch, that too few have their hands clean and strong for the Lord's service; or can see to extract the motes from the eyes of their brethren, because of the beams which are in their own. May not some of the instructors, and seemingly zealous in our Society, be justly taxed with hypocrisy; seeing while they cry against the reigning sins of others, they are inattentive to their own? unto whom I would direct the advice of Christ—“Pluck first the beams out of your own eyes, and then shall you see clearly to take the motes out of those of your brethren.”

It is a sorrowful truth, that even the garments of some of the priesthood are spotted with the world and the flesh; and they are therefore rendered unfit to minister before the Lord in that sacred office. For whatever may have been their former experience of the sanctifying operation of his Spirit; or however clear may have been their call into his service; yet if, like Judas, they have betrayed their Master for the pieces of silver, or, like Demas, may in spirit have forsaken his family for the love of the world in some of its alluring shapes, theirs justly is the judgment passed upon Judas; who being fallen from his station in the holy body of Christ, was to lose his bishoprick or part in the apostleship: such being rendered unfit to give testimony to the life, sufferings, death and resurrection of the holy Jesus, who did not retain it in their own experience.

Observe, brethren, the word retain. It is not enough that we have once known the Lord, but we must retain him in our knowledge, by the renewed baptisms of his holy Spirit: and of some who did not choose to do so, it is recorded that “God gave them up to a reprobate mind, to work those things which are not convenient.”

And I believe there are in our day, who, having deviated from the simplicity of Truth for sinister ends, have gone wider and wider therefrom; until their hearts are become so darkened that they call evil good, and good evil; put darkness for light, and light for darkness; and in their pursuits after worldly interests, are obviously worshipping and serving the creature more than the Creator: and yet these very persons would keep those seats, and discharge those offices in the church, which were assigned them, when in the days of childhood, they were willing to follow the Lamb whithersoever he led them.

O! for these blind guides, is my soul pained; and that not only on their own account, but that of others, who apprehending the law to proceed from their mouths, (though they have in reality no right to take the word of the Lord thereinto) and observing their conduct, may be influenced by their example, and follow them as they follow the world. It is needful, my beloved, to warn you, as our Lord did the people respecting the Scribes and Pharisees, who, notwithstanding they sat in Moses' seat, and administered the law, were not to be regarded as examples; lest, being led by the blind, you perish with them in the ditch of error and perdition? When I sat down to write you, I had no view of beginning with these disagreeable remarks, but simply gave myself up to the direction of that Wisdom which best dictates what to say, and when to say it: and although some may object to their being inserted in an Epistle which points to a general exhortation, I am convinced by undoubted experience, and the example of some of the most eminently serviceable in the Lord's hand, that Divine wisdom sometimes commands to reprove those that offend, let them be of what class they may, before all, that others may learn to fear. In the authority of Truth I dare assert that the time is come in our church, when it is necessary that judgment should begin as at the house of God, in the very highest classes of the Society; and till that is laid to the line, and some therein are either reformed thereby or removed from those dignified stations, there is little probability of the Lord's work being carried on to his own honour, in the general, and the comfort of the faithful. Oh! says my soul, that all who are concerned, or concern themselves therein, would study to be quiet and mind their own business, which is to take heed to themselves; for although the Holy Spirit may have once made some of them overseers of the flock, they cannot properly take heed thereto, unless this is the case; for being themselves loaded with a secret consciousness of guilt, for worshipping of idols, some obviously, and some having them concealed under a precise, formal, outside appearance and deportment, as in the skirts of their garments, they dare not, no they cannot, search out the hidden things of Esau among the people, nor administer judgment in righteousness, where it is obviously due.

Let me therefore, in the spirit of gospel meekness and charity, which breathes for your salvation and enlargement in all the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit, exhort you who are of the foremost ranks, whether ministers, elders, overseers, or heads of families, that you would solemnly look into yourselves; and with an impartiality which ever accompanies those who are really concerned for the establishment of the kingdom of Christ in themselves, ask yourselves, individually. In what am I lacking? O! my friends, was this the case with us all, and did we patiently wait for the answer of Truth, we should individually be humbled into a sense of our shortness of that perfection whereunto we have been called, and wherein many of us have believed; and some would be so struck with the view of their idolatrous revolting from the simple worship of the true and living God, that they would go mourning many days in the bitterness of their souls; and all would be animated to press after the mark for the prize of their high calling in Christ, which is redemption from the world, the flesh, and the devil.

The nearer we approach to this blessed and happy experience, the more our hands will be strengthened in the Lord's work, and the more we shall be enabled both by precept and example to build one another up in the most holy faith, and in those things which edify; and our confidence in God who is the Perfecter of his saints will increase, that, as he has mercifully begun a good work in us, he will finish it to the praise of his own name.

It is impossible that self-examination by the light of Truth should hurt any of us, and it may help all. I therefore once more earnestly recommend it, as a means of our fulfilling this precept, “Purge out the old leaven,” and of enabling us to keep the feast “not with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and Truth.” I shall conclude my exhortation to you of these classes, with saying, Be faithful, and then will you be comforted and of one mind, and the God of peace will preside amongst you. Amen, Now to you who, not being in any of the before-mentioned stations, may therefore think yourselves more at liberty to gratify the desire of the carnal mind, is my concern directed; with secret breathings to the Father of mercies, that he may enable me so to point the word to your hearts, that being made sensible of your own danger, you may flee for your lives, from those bewitching vanities, and false pleasures which have held your souls in bondage to the god of this world; who, by many secret snares, and more obvious allurements, seeks to entangle the minds of poor mortals, and lead astray their affections from that inestimable Fountain of light, life, and happiness, wherein is centred all true joy, both in time and in eternity.

Dearly beloved! for so in the bowels of gospel compassion I call you; have you ever seriously considered that you have no continuing city here; and that as your souls are immortal, it is the proper, and ought to be the principal business of your lives, to seek for them a habitation, suitable to their being and nature, wherein they may have a happy residence forever: which is alone to be found in God, who is the source and resource of his people? Now in order that your souls may at last centre with God, it is necessary that they should be made habitations for him through the sanctifying operation of the Spirit of his Son, which alone can render us who have been defiled with sin, (and therefore unfitted for a residence with Him), fit objects of his favour. Allow me therefore to ask you, and O! that you would ask yourselves, what you have known of this work, in your experience? Has the spirit of judgment and of burning done its office in your hearts? Have you passed through the first Part of the work of sanctification? I mean the Administration of condemnation for sin. Have you been bowed under the testimony of the righteous Witness of God in your conscience? Or have you not rather depressed and contemned this heavenly messenger; not allowing it to tell you the Truth, or at least, disbelieving the doctrine it preached, because it did not countenance some of your actions? No, have not some gone so far as to slay the “two witnesses for God,” the internal evidence of his Spirit, and the external testimony of his servants; and are perhaps at this hour exulting in their victory, and proclaiming to themselves peace; when alas! a day of fearfulness, amazement, and unutterable anguish, awaits them, and is near when, if not sooner, the curtains of mortality shall be drawn, and they shall see the Judge, tremendous in majesty, and that righteous witness, which in time they slew, raised in power, to testify against them for their rebellion, and assert the justice of their exclusion from the realms of light and blessedness.

What effect this faint description of the day of judgment to the wicked, and those who forget God, may have upon the minds of such, I know not; but my heart being impressed with an awful sense of its certainty, is animated to endeavour to wrest them from its eternal consequences, by persuading them to bow in the day of God's merciful visitation to their souls, and to kiss the Son lest he be angry, and they perish from the way of life and salvation, before his wrath be kindled but a little.

Do not vainly and proudly imagine, that you are able to stem the force of Omnipotence, He is, and will be King, whether you are willing to allow him the right of sovereignty or not; and his sacred laws of unchangeable truth, are as manifest in the punishment of transgressors, as in the reward of those that do well: and O! if it were possible to convey to you a sense of that sweet peace, glory, and joy, which are, and shall be, revealed to those who love and serve God, you would be convinced that no punishment could be too great for such as, by a contrary conduct, slight and cast away so great salvation and happiness. But as no eye can see, nor heart conceive, the exceeding grace of God in Christ Jesus, but such as have happily witnessed its sanctifying operations; I cannot but invite you to “Come, taste, and see, that the Lord is good, and that his mercy endures forever.”

It is true, that in the way to this attainment you must pass through judgment; for Zion must be redeemed through judgment, and all the converts with righteousness, and a portion of indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish, must (consistently with the law of Divine justice), be administered to every soul that sins. But this judgment when received in the day of God's merciful visitation, is succeeded by such inexpressible peace and assurance of Divine favour, as abundantly compensates for the pains it may have occasioned: for of a truth the carnal “eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor heart conceived,” what good is in store for those who manifest their love to God by their obedience. Believe me, my beloved friends, when I tell you that my heart is strongly engaged for your welfare, as you stand in your various classes. I feel much more for you than I can write, and would beseech you by the mercies of God, as well as by his judgments, that you would present the whole body of your affections unto him, which is no more than your reasonable service.

Has he not dealt exceeding bountifully to some of you of the things of this life? For what cause think you, has he entrusted you with such abundance? Is it to gratify the lust of the eye, and the pride of life? Is it to make you haughty, and assume a superiority over such as, in this respect may be below yourselves, but who perhaps may, some of them, be higher in the Divine favour? No, surely': but in order that you may improve this gift to his honour, the good of others, and your own eternal advantage; and may be humbled in a sense of the disproportion of your deserts to his mercies. Has he not favoured some of you with superior natural abilities? And for what end, but that you might be in a superior degree serviceable in his hand? Has he not afforded to all a day of merciful visitation, wherein he has by various means endeavoured to bring you into that fold of immortal rest, wherein he causes his Flocks to feed and lie down beside the clear streams of salvation? O says my soul! that you may consider his mercies, and make a suitable return for them; that the Most High may delight in the present generation, and dwell among the people as in days past. O! you of the rising generation, open the doors of your hearts to that Divine Visitant, who has long stood thereat, and knocked for entrance. Let him prepare them, and he will assuredly spread his table, and admit you to be happy communicants thereat.

Think not that it is too early in life for you to look steadily towards a future state of existence; but consider, that the solemn message to summon you from works to rewards, may be sent to you at an early and unexpected hour: and that it therefore behoves you, to be prepared to meet the great Judge. My heart is particularly engaged for your welfare, and pained in the consideration how widely some of you have deviated from that path of primitive simplicity, wherein your worthy predecessors trod. Let me therefore beseech you to seek for the “Good old way” of holiness, and walk therein; that you may experimentally know the “God of your fathers, and serve him with a perfect heart and willing mind:” so will his blessing forever rest upon you, which makes truly rich, and adds no sorrow therewith.

Let the cloud of witnesses to the power and unutterable riches of pure religion, prevail with you to submit to its holy influence; that you may rightly understand, and diligently pursue, the things that belong to your peace here and hereafter. Let the examples of the righteous in all generations, let their peaceful lives, let their happy conclusion, triumphing over death, hell, and the grave, in a lively and full assurance of faith; let the solemn importance of time and eternity, excite you while it is yet day, and light is upon your tabernacles, to improve it: that you may be numbered amongst the wise, who shall shine as the brightness of the firmament, and may be instrumental to turn many to righteousness, and be as stars forever and ever.

The negligent and careless, the stout-hearted, and they that are far from righteousness, may receive instruction from the event of the like-minded in all generations. Such have not escaped the righteous judgments of the Almighty, who has sealed it as a certain truth: “Verily there is a reward for the righteous; verily he is a God that judges in the earth.”

And now, dear Friends, as in plainness I have endeavoured to communicate what has freely opened to the several classes among you, I would warn all to beware of putting their proper portion far from them; but let each examine, “Is it I? Is it I?” And let not the iniquities of others, which some may observe to be struck at, tend to fix any in a state of self-security; for assuredly every one must suffer for his own transgression. Nor let those close hints which are pointed to some of the foremost rank, be made use of to invalidate the testimony of such, whom the Lord has preserved as “watchmen upon your walls.” I know and am thankful that he has a remnant amongst you, of all ranks, whom he has preserved near unto himself; to whom my soul is united in the tribulations and rejoicings of the gospel; and unto whom a salutation reaches forth, and seems expressed in my heart thus; Brethren and sisters, be of good cheer, “be patient, and hope to the end:” for the hand of that God whom you serve, is stretched out for your help; and if you abide faithful to him, in his own time he will crown your sufferings with rejoicing.

Finally, dearly beloved, farewell; and may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all, Amen.

I am your friend and sister in the Truth,

Catharine Payton

Dudley, 10th of Tenth month, 1758.

My mind settled in quiet after this disappointment, but my body had suffered so much, that a little rest seemed necessary to repair my health; and I entertained a hope of being at and about home this winter; but Divine wisdom pointed out work for me elsewhere, and my mind was resigned to follow his directions. I left home in the twelfth month, and went to the quarterly meeting at Warwick, where through much painful labour of spirit, I was favoured to discharge the duty required of me, to the relief of my own spirit and the satisfaction of experienced Friends. From that place I went through several meetings in Oxfordshire and Northamptonshire, to the quarterly meeting at Northampton; and turning back to the monthly meeting at Banbury, visited some other meetings in Oxfordshire, and attended the quarterly meeting held at Oxford. In all these services the supporting protecting arm of Divine goodness was near, whereby I was conducted in safety, though not without considerable danger from the badness of the roads. I had one very dangerous fall from my horse, but was mercifully preserved from any fracture.

The quarterly meeting at Oxford was attended by many of the students, who mostly behaved well, although the doctrine of Truth ran very closely and pointedly to them. That Divine power with which they were too much unacquainted, bound down their spirits. May it be praised forever.

From Oxford, I passed through several meetings wherein Truth favoured, pretty directly for London; where I staid about five weeks visiting the meetings of Friends, and attending other services as I was favoured with strength.

Sometimes, through a fear of exceeding, I apprehend I fell short of my commission, and a degree of suffering followed; which was however less painful to me, than what would have arisen from errors on the other hand. I laboured and suffered much in this city, and the state of my health was poor during my stay in it; but through infinite mercy I left it in the enjoyment of a good degree of peace, and returned home in the second month, 1759, to the mutual rejoicing of myself and friends. My friend Ann Fothergill and several others accompanied me to some meetings in my way home, and took me in their carriages; whose affectionate care in my weak state of health, I commemorate with thankfulness to the ever bounteous Author of all my mercies.

The day after I got home, my dear mother was taken ill, as was my brother a few days after, and the state of my own health was weak, and some peculiar exercise attended me.

Some libertine spirits endeavoured to invalidate my character and service, for no other cause than what appeared to me to be my duty. This was an extremely trying season, but I hope in the end it was profitable, and tended to establish my mind in a patient suffering of reproach, and to guard me with caution that I might not administer occasion for it to the adversaries of Truth.

I attended to services about home, as liberty and strength were afforded, and became better in my health: my mother also recovered bravely, but my brother continued in a very weak state. In the fourth month I was obliged to leave him and my dear mother, being drawn to attend the circular yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which was this year held at Stockport in Cheshire. It was very large, and signally attended with the' humbling power of Truth; and the Lord was pleased to make use of me and several other of his servants: for which my soul worshipped before Him who humbles and exalts, and in his unsearchable wisdom, does all things well. I returned home, and found my dear mother and brother much in the same state as I left them.

In the fifth month I again left home, intending to attend our quarterly meeting at Evesham, and so proceed to the yearly meeting at London.

My brother was so much recovered as to accompany me to the quarterly meeting, from which he intended to return home; but on our first day's journey he was taken very ill. This brought a fresh exercise upon me, under which I petitioned the Almighty that he would be pleased to direct me how to act for the relief of my own mind, and the discharge of that duty which I owed to an affectionate brother; on whose account I intreated, that if he might be relieved, the way for it might be pointed out under this exercise I proceeded to Evesham, my brother still accompanying me, though very weak. After the service of the quarterly meeting was over, my way opened to Worcester; whereto my brother was persuaded to accompany me, and to take the advice of a physician, who strongly pressed his going to Bath. Upon considering the urgency of his case, some of my friends with myself judged it best for him to proceed there directly, as returning home first would but weaken him the more: so I wrote an account of our determination to my dear mother and sister, who acquiesced therein. I also informed my brother and sister Young of my afflicting situation, and requested that one of them would accompany him; and Providence so ordered it, that my sister came prepared for the journey the day after I sent for her. The next day, being the first of the week, we were favoured together by Divine goodness; and the following morning we parted in much affection; they proceeded to Bath, and I was at liberty to pursue my journey. This had been to me an extremely exercising season, from the great fear I was under of erring on either hand; but I record it to the praise of Infinite goodness, who, in this critical juncture, directed me to act for the help of my dear brother; to whom my endeavours were signally blessed with success, the Bath waters being rendered serviceable to him.

From Worcester I went to Coventry; and in the way had a meeting at Henly in Arden, Warwickshire, in which place Friends have a meeting-house, but none of our Society remained.

At Coventry, I met my friend Samuel Fothergill, who having been long indisposed, I was rejoiced to see that it appeared likely he would be again restored to the service of Truth. We went, together with many Friends from the North of England, directly to London: where I was favoured with strength to attend pretty closely to the service of the yearly meeting, and had full satisfaction that I was there in the direction of Divine wisdom.

From London I went to the quarterly meeting at Colchester, and in my way there attended the first-day meeting at Coggeshall, which was large, and favoured with the Divine presence.

I left Colchester before the concluding meeting, being pressed in my mind to reach the quarterly meeting at Banbury in Oxfordshire, which, with very hard travelling, I accomplished: I had some meetings in the way, and was comforted in administering a little relief to some poor souls who appeared ready to faint under their exercises. After the quarterly meeting at Banbury, I went to that at Northampton, much in the cross to my own will, being very desirous to get home, considering the state of our family, and that my own health was affected with very hard travelling, ministerial labour, and exercise of mind. But I did not lose my reward, for I was favoured with strength sufficient for the service required, went from Northampton in much peace and thankfulness, and reached home in two days after: where I was gladly received by my dear aged mother and sister, but my brother was not yet returned from Bath. In the last fifteen days before I got home, I attended twenty-three meetings, besides other services, and travelled on horseback.

The concern I had for Ireland reviving, I left home in the eighth month, and with very hard travelling was favoured to visit most of the meetings in that nation this fall, and returned to England soon after the half-year's meeting in the eleventh month. A religious young woman, Sarah Christie, not in the ministry, accompanied ine through the greater part of the journey in Ireland. I landed from Ireland at Whitehaven, and went through the meetings in some parts of Cumberland, the Bishoprick of Durham, and the east side of Yorkshire; and turned to the quarterly meeting for Westmoreland in the first month, 1760. The weather being extremely sharp this winter, and my health but poor through hard travelling, and taking cold, I suffered much in body; but gracious Providence supported and carried me through the service required, to the admiration of myself and others. The weakness of my constitution appeared inadequate to so great a fatigue; but I experienced that hand which employed me, to be strength in weakness: salvation and power be ascribed thereto forever! It appears the following letter was written about this time.

Third month 15th, 1760.

Dear Cousin,—Previous to the receipt of your letter, I had intelligence both of your illness and recovery. I am thankful to providence for your restoration to health.

I never yet could believe that you were wrong in entering into the connection; and therefore I trust, that He who constituted the union, will bless it to you both. I am glad to find you can so readily obey the pointings of the Divine hand; and that your husband so freely resigns you to its disposing. No doubt nature will feel in these separations, but as your happiness does not consist in the gratification of earthly desires, but in doing and permitting the will of God, your union in that life which can never end, will be increased by absence.

Your concern for my preservation from the snares of an unwearied adversary, I take notice of, with thankfulness, and hope to join you therein. I dare not presume upon my standing; feeling daily my weakness, and having, with sorrow, to observe the failures of some who have been eminently favoured: but if a strong desire to be detached from the world, and fixed in the station which Heaven allots me, recommends to its notice, I may be allowed to hope I shall be supported in the midst of discouragements which attend.

After many painful baptisms, (to some of which you are no stranger) every prospect of what may be allotted me, is removed; and I am content to remain blind to the future, until the hour come, wherein every determination of Providence is revealed.

My constitution seems to be shaken by the many engagements which await me, both at home and abroad; but I am content, if this assurance remain, that I am about my heavenly Father's business. Please to remember me affectionately to friend Hammond, and believe me to be, dear cousin, in the sympathy of the gospel, both in suffering and rejoicing, your friend and companion,

Catharine Payton.

In the beginning of fourth month my sister Ann was married to Thomas Summerfield, of Bloxham, Oxfordshire; and my brother, who accompanied her to her new habitation, returned home very ill; yet I could not be easy to omit the attendance of the Welsh yearly meeting held this year at Oswestry, and my sister Young kindly staid with him and my mother in my absence. The meeting was very large; and I had good reason to believe I was there in the counsel of the Almighty. I returned home in a little more than a week, where I found my brother yet unwell; nevertheless I thought it right to leave him again in a few days, being engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Bristol and London: which I did, taking some meetings in my way.

The yearly meeting at London was large and very satisfactory, except from some disturbance which was given to Friends meetings, by some disorderly persons not in unity with them. My strength in the discharge of my duty was mercifully renewed, and an enlargedness of heart experienced towards my brethren. I had left home through much difficulty, but was thankful that I had pressed through it; and on my return, I had reason to believe that kind Providence had made up the loss of my company to my mother and brother; for I found her cheerful, and him in better health.

I came home in the sixth month, and staid at or near it until the latter end of the eighth, labouring as I found ability in the service of Truth, and endeavouring to discharge my duty in domestic cares: a greater weight whereof than heretofore rested upon me since my sister's marriage; through which, and my brother's continued indisposition, my way in leaving home was straitened; Yet I know not that any clear manifestation of duty was omitted; although sometimes it was discharged with difficulty.

My brother being somewhat better, I left home in order to visit Friends meetings in Derbyshire, some of the dales of Yorkshire, and part of Lancashire. I was favoured to accomplish this journey in forty-eight days, travelling in that time about seven hundred miles, and attending fifty-two meetings, besides other services, often in Friends' families, by which hard labour my spirits were much exhausted, yet was not my health so impaired, but that I hoped with rest it might be restored.

In this journey I had some satisfactory service among people not professing with us; and some in towns where no meetings were held.

At Bradford in Lancashire, some unthinking people and children disturbed our meeting almost through the whole time of our holding it; but some sober inquiring people attended it, with whom we had reason to hope the testimony of Truth had place. After the meeting, we had a satisfactory opportunity with some of them, at the house of one that had lately joined Friends in that place. Some Friends accompanied me in this service, namely, Jonathan Raine and his wife, of Crawshay Booth meeting, Matthew Meller of Manchester, and several others; from whom I parted in gospel love.

On my return home the 16th of the tenth month, I had the satisfaction to find my dear mother well, and my brother better than he had been. The night before I came there, I had a fall from my horse, but through mercy received no hurt.

The 17th of the eleventh month, I set out to attend our quarterly meeting at Worcester, which was large and mercifully favoured with the Divine presence. From there I went to Leominster to visit my sister Young and her family; and spent a few days with them and Friends there profitably. In my way home, accompanied by several Friends from Leominster, I had a large meeting at Ludlow, ui which town there was only one that professed with us.

Several sober people were amongst those who attended this meeting; and Divine goodness was pleased to favour with opening the Truths of the gospel unto them. I left the town that night, at which I was not quite easy, not knowing but if I had staid, some inquiring people might have sought an opportunity of conversation.

I returned home the 27th, and found my mother tolerably well, on whose account, in this absence from her, I had been concerned, considering her advanced age.

In the twelfth month, I went to the quarterly meeting at Warwick, and from there to visit my sister in Oxfordshire; with whom I spent a few days, visited some meetings in the neighbourhood; and proceeded to Oxford. Many of the students and others not professing with us, came to the meeting; towards whom Divine Wisdom was pleased to manifest his regard, and some of them behaved soberly. It was the time of the quarterly meeting. In my return home, I attended at Long Compton the funeral of a religious young woman, with whom I had been acquainted. It proved a strengthening season in Divine love, which freely flowed towards the people.

From Long Compton I went to Chipping-Norton, Evesham, and Worcester, staid a ikw days amongst Friends there, and returned home through Evesham and Alcester.

I staid about home until the 21st of the third month, 1761, when I went to the quarterly meeting at Birmingham; which was comfortable in a sense of the continued regard of lieaven; but sorrowful in the apparent declension of some professing with us from the life of Truth.

From Birmingham I proceeded to the quarterly meeting for Nottinghamshire held at Mansfield, which was small, few Friends residing in that county, I laboured among them in love, and with strong desires for their help; and left them in a degree of peace, though not without a doubt of having been rather short in discharging my duty.

From Mansfield, I went to Chesterfield, and had a meeting there, to which came several from other meetings, and we were favoured together in the Divine presence. I then proceeded through some meetings in Yorkshire, wherein I was strengthened to minister, I hope to the satisfaction and comfort of honest-hearted Friends, and to the relief of my own spirit. I came to Lancaster the 9th of the fourth month, in order to attend the quarterly meeting there. Thus far on the journey I had travelled very hard, and the day before I came to Lancaster, having met with a very dangerous fall from my horse, whereby I hurt one my of arms, so that I was unable to help myself, and was otherwise hurt, it was hard for me to travel; yet I was enabled to proceed forward the next afternoon in a chaise to Kendal; and having attended the quarterly meeting there, proceeded to Appleby, to the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which began the 12th. I carried my arm in a sling, but in this time of weakness kind Providence furnished me with a suitable companion to assist me, namely, Christiana Hird of Yorkshire, of whose tender care and affectionate services, I retain a grateful sense.

The yearly meeting at Appleby was attended by many sober people from the adjacent country, as well as by a large number of the inhabitants of the town; and many of them were considerably affected by the testimony of Truth; whereto they had been strangers. Many had imbibed disagreeable sentiments respecting Friends and their principles; but the Lord was pleased so to manifest his power amongst them, that their prejudices were removed, and a confession obtained to the truths which were freely preached among them.

Friends left the town rejoicing in the heavenly Father's love and goodness, in thus favouring us, and exalting the testimony of Truth, in a place wherein some of our worthy Friends in the beginning of our being a people, had suffered deeply. The 15th, Samuel Fothergill and myself had a meeting at Kirby Steven, which was large and solid, many seeking people around the country attending it; and the Lord was pleased to cause the gospel trumpet to be sounded clearly and powerfully among them: glory be to his Name forever! I went accompanied by Christiana Hird, with the Friends from Wenslydale into that quarter; had a meeting at Haws, and the ensuing first-day attended the general meeting at Aysgarth, which was very large. A light set of people frequently attending at that time of the year: but the power of Truth was measurably over their spirits, and I left the place in a good degree of peace. I proceeded in visiting the meetings in this part of Yorkshire, and having a view of going almost directly from that county, to the yearly meeting at London, and being desirous of getting clear of as many meetings therein as I could, I continued to travel hard among the dales. But my strength being much exhausted, and some painful effects of my late fall continuing, when I came to the house of my friend William Hird, at Woodhouse (father to my kind companion), I rested for a few days, and was treated with that tenderness which the state of my health required.

From hence, I went to Gildersome meeting, where I parted from Christiana Hird, in love and sympathy; and went through several meetings in Yorkshire, to Nottingham. I staid at Nottingham over first-day, and attended two meetings there. I was weak and much affected with a hoarseness, yet had some service amongst Friends there, though not fully to the relief of my mind.

I left Nottingham on second-day, and reached London the 7th of the fifth month. I was favoured with a good degree of peace, and thankfulness to that good Hand which had hitherto conducted and supported me in weakness.

The yearly meeting was large, and I hope profitable; although I did not think, in the general, that instrumental ministry rose so high, as it had done in some of those annual solemnities: but Friends were comforted in the immediate sense of the continuance of Divine favour, under which they separated; some perhaps, to meet no more in time. Our friend Joseph White, from America, having paid a religious visit to Friends in this nation, and being about to return home, had a certificate from Friends at this meeting of their unity with his services while here; and John Stephenson and Robert Proud being under an engagement of mind to visit Friends on the continent of America, had certificates for that end.

My spirit rejoiced that I was enabled to attend this meeting; and indeed I have seldom or ever attended the yearly meetings in London, without peculiar edification, although sometimes sufferings from various causes have fallen to my lot: and I am persuaded that if Friends more generally gave themselves up to attend that solemnity; and when there, abode under the seasoning virtue of Truth, they would be better qualified to labour in their several stations and places of residence: the weight of service devolving upon them there, would be brought home with them, and a more fervent care would remain for maintaining our Christian testimony in its various branches, and stretching the line of discipline over such among us who walk disorderly.

The week after the yearly meeting I went to Plaistow, and rested a few days with my friend John Hayward; and being a little recruited, I proceeded, though in diffidence and fear (being often low in body, as well as pressed with the weight of the service appointed me), to the yearly meetings of Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich: in all of which, through the strengthening hand of Divine mercy, I had good service.

From Norwich I passed through some meetings in Lincolnshire and Yorkshire to the quarterly meeting at York, which was at this time attended by many Friends from the several quarters of it; and some Friends under appointment from the yearly meeting at London, to visit monthly and quarterly meetings of Friends, were there; and I hope, were serviceable, in inquiring into the general state of Friends, exciting them to various duties, and endeavouring to strengthen the hedge of discipline.

From this meeting I proceeded, accompanied by Rachel Wilson and Margaret Raine, to Leeds and Bradford, and so to a large general meeting held annually in a barn at Bingley. It was in a good degree satisfactory, many gospel Truths being opened to the people; who behaved soberly, and many of them seemed well affected towards Friends. After this meeting I proceeded towards the quarterly meeting at Lancaster, and from that place, accompanied by my friends Jonathan Raine and wife and Alexander Parkinson, I went to Turton near Bolton, where several young men and others were under convincement. Several Friends met us here, and we had a favoured meeting with them and many of their neighbours; rejoicing in the hope that the Shepherd of Israel would gather to himself a people in that country.

There are none under our name near them, which rendered the breaking forth of Truth amongst them a more signal instance of the immediate efficacy of its Divine power. May they be preserved humble, and dependent on that Hand, which alone can build up, and “establish on the most holy faith.”

From Turton I went with my friends Jonathan Raine and wife to their house near Rossendale, and attended a large general meeting there the next day; and proceeded to Manchester on second-day, and had a meeting there that evening. On third-day, accompanied by two men Friends, I travelled hard; and in the evening we missed our way over a moor, which rendered it late in the night when we came to John Draycoat's in Derbyshire. I had a fall from my mare, through her missing her step upon a narrow causeway, but through mercy was preserved from hurt. Next day I had a meeting at Furnace, and afterwards rode to Burton upon Trent, and the ensuing day to Polesworth, in order to attend the marriage of my cousins John Wilkins and Elizabeth Lythall, which was solemnized at Badsley the next day, and we were favoured together with the Lord's presence: blessed be his holy name! The next day, being the 20th of the seventh month I reached home, where I found my dear mother as well as could be expected for her age, but my brother yet poorly. I had now at several times visited Friends in Yorkshire pretty generally; and had considerable service amongst people not professing with them.

After this journey my mind settled in peace and thankfulness, having to look back upon it with deep gratitude to the Divine hand, whereby I had been conducted, supported and encouraged to press forward, although under considerable bodily weakness, and some fears on account of the situation of my dear mother, etc.

But as my eye was preserved single to the Lord's service, he cared lor those I had left for his name's sake, and brought me home in a better state of health than I had left it, notwithstanding I had travelled and laboured exceedingly hard; having in fifteen weeks attended one hundred and seventeen meetings, and travelled about one thousand two hundred and thirty miles; nearly the whole on horseback.

The beginning of the eighth month, I attended the circular yearly meeting, which was held at Bromyard in Herefordshire. It was not so large, either of Friends or people of other societies, as of late years had been usual, nor did the life of Truth in the ministry rise to the height I have known it; yet, upon the whole, Friends had cause to be thankful for the opportunity.

About this time she wrote the following Epistle:

To the Quarterly Men's meeting of Friends of ________,

Dear Friends,—It having lately been my lot to pass through your quarter, and with sorrow to observe the declining state of the church therein, I find my mind engaged to write a few lines to you who may be accounted its ruling members; to advise, that you be careful to fill up the station of governors in all humility and honesty, acquitting yourselves like men concerned for the cause of God. And in order that each may find his hands made strong for the work, let first a strict scrutiny be made into your own conduct, to see how far you are purged from the abominations which are committed: for, except those who are rulers in Israel, support their testimony by a circumspect conduct, it seems to me impossible they should rule well. For, not preserving a sense of the necessity of an entire purity subsisting in the church, they will be apt to admit of things inconsistent with the nature of that holy principle we profess; and wink at, instead of reproving, the conduct of backsliders. And, indeed, I see no right that a man who breaks the law himself, has to sit in the seat of judgment.

He may plead the example of the Scribes and Pharisees, but no Christian precept countenances such a practice: for “except our righteousness exceed theirs, we shall in no wise enter the kingdom.” And I think it may not be amiss, in order to evince whether there be any resemblance between us and them, to examine what their righteousness was. It was only a bare external righteousness, put or kept on with a base hypocritical design, to impose upon the people. Spiritual pride was cloked under it.

They loved the places of chief presidency in the synagogues, etc. and to be called of men, “Rabbi;” oppressed the distressed, and neglected the weightiest matters of the' law, namely, justice, mercy, and truth, without which no right government can ever be administered.

They were not possessed of holiness, though they made “broad their phylacteries, and enlarged the borders of their garments.” How different to this is the character of a bishop[12] given by the apostle: “He must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; but a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; holding forth the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and convince the gainsayers.”

An excellent catalogue of necessary qualifications! May both you and I covet to obtain them. It seems to me that a great regulation is lacking amongst us, and judgment must begin as at the sanctuary, before it can go on rightly.

The camp is shamefully defiled, and few fit to minister judgment in wisdom, to the transgressors; which is very much lacking, for “weakness has reached to the head and the heart,” and insensibility seized many of the members.

Arise and shake yourselves, lest you perish with the multitude; and being partakers of the sins of Babylon, you be also partakers in her plagues; for I verily believe, the Lord is on his way to try the foundations of the professors of his Truth, that their deeds may be made manifest, whether they are wrought in God or not; and the cause of his suffering seed will be espoused and pleaded, and their wrongs redressed.

Alas! my friends, it will not do for us to have been once called and anointed of God. Except we dwell under the teachings of that anointing, and wait for renewed baptism to fit us for further service, we shall become dwarfish, dry, and formal; and though to an injudicious eye we may appear as flourishing trees; upon examination by a wise observer, good fruit will not be found upon us, such as that its flavour will demonstrate that the tree has its nourishment from the Eternal Fountain of life and wisdom.

Have a care, lest the world cast a mist before your eyes, and hinder your keeping a sight of that transcendent excellency which is in the Truth; which once engaged some of you to follow it, with sincere desires to know your spirits leavened into its pure nature. Remember the day of your espousals, and also, that, as says the apostle, “If any man drawback, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.”

Let none judge that these lines proceed from a self-sufficiency in me; for I think that I retain a just sense of my weakness, and unfitness as a woman for such a service; but I trust some of you know that the wind blows when and where it wishes.

I am, with the salutation of unfeigned love to the true seed of God amongst you, sincerely desiring their preservation, and that the unfaithful may be warned in time, and turn to the Lord in the day of his mercy, your friend and sister in the Truth,

Catharine Payton

27th of 8th month, 1761.

N. B. This Epistle may appear close and sharp, considering unto whom it was directed; but there was sorrowful cause for it, in some individuals.

From this meeting I went to spend a day or two with my dear sister Young at Leominster, which I esteemed a great favour, as it was the last time we spent together, except near her last moments. She was seized in the tenth month following with an indisposition, which terminated in a violent inflammatory fever.

Her husband was then in the west of England, in company with some Friends, on a religious visit to the monthly and quarterly meetings of Friends in that part of the nation. A messenger being sent to inform us of her illness, I went to her; and was favoured to find her so sensible as to inform me that she was very easy in mind: soon after which she grew delirious, and her senses were never more quite clear; yet she once intimated that she was quiet, and hoped she had a quiet habitation.

She was a truly valuable woman, and doubtless her spirit entered into rest. She died at the age of forty-five, after a life attended with various trials. The loss to her family, her other relations, friends and neighbours, was great; and the sorrow for it amongst all who were acquainted with her was general; yet under a sense that our loss was her great gain, it was mixed with joy in the hearts of her nearest relations and friends.

She left three children, and her sorrowful and very affectionate husband; who, after he had information of her dangerous state, travelled hard to get home, but did not reach it until after her corpse was interred. My brother staid at Leominster until he came there, and I returned home to my dear mother and my sister's eldest daughter, who was then at Dudley, a thoughtful child of about eleven years of age, who had a very great affection for her mother.

I found them full as well as I expected, considering my mother's great love for my sister, who had been an extraordinary child to her; steadily sympathizing with, and assisting her in her afflictions, when she had no other child that was so capable of doing it. But she was favoured with signal resignation to the Divine will, which is doubtless right in taking away, as well as in giving.

My spirits had been supported beyond my expectation through this trial, although my health appeared shaken by the fatigue attending it; yet in less than two weeks, I set out for Bloxham to attend my sister Summerfield, who was now my only surviving sister. I attended Warwick meeting in my way; and in the evening appointed one for the neighbours, which was large, and crowned with Divine life and power, for which I was truly thankful.

After about two weeks stay I went for London, having before I left home a certificate to visit Friends in that city. I had several meetings in my way there amongst people not professing with us, to satisfaction. I staid rather more than a month in London, and through diligent labour, and considerable travail of spirit, left it easy in mind, and returned home by my sister's.

The day I left her house the wind was very high. I rode double, and when we came to the high uninclosed field-lands, nearly upon a level with the summit of Edge hill, it was so extremely boisterous, that myself and the man who rode before me, concluded it safest to alight; which we did, under shelter of a short thorn-hedge, probably planted to afford shelter to sheep. We saw a village, but had to cross the field to it. The man held the horse by one hand, and I held by his other arm; but the wind was so violently strong, that he rather dragged than led me, for I stooped very low, being unable to stand against it. I think it rained also while we crossed the field. We got to a poor house of entertainment, the covering of a building belonging to which was stripped off a little before we came; and we staid in it, not without fear, until the violence of the wind abated; which it did in the afternoon, and we reached Eatington the same night. I think this was the wind of which it was said, that none had been so high since Eddystone lighthouse was blown down; and our getting through it without hurt appeared providential. It was a hurricane in the morning, yet it was tolerably calm in the evening.

I got home the 15th of first month, 1762, in a better state of health than I left it, and was comforted to find our family tolerably well; and I had great cause for thankfulness, for the many mercies and preservations vouchsafed in this journey.

In the spring of this year I attended the northern and Welch yearly meetings; the first held at Bolton in Lancashire, and that for Wales at Bala in Menonethshire. That at Bolton was very large, and attended by many valuable ministers and Friends, and a great number of sober inquiring people of other societies; amongst whom the gospel-trumpet was sounded in Divine authority, to the comfort of faithful Friends, and I hope, to the instruction and awakening of many souls. In my way from Bolton to Bala, in company with my friend Samuel Fothergill, I attended the meeting at Chester on the first-day morning; whereto many soberly behaved people of the town came, and we were favoured with a comfortable tendering opportunity together. From Chester we proceeded to Bala, in company with Isabella Middleton, a ministering Friend from Ireland, and overtook Rachel Wilson and Christiana Hird, before we got there.

The meeting at Bala was large, considering the part of the country it was held in: the people behaved soberly, and many of them were affected by the heart-tendering power of Truth. We had a comfortable opportunity with a few that came in love to bid us farewell; and left the place, in full assurance of the extendings of Divine love to the inhabitants of this poor part of the nation, and thankfulness that we were accounted worthy to preach the gospel to them. I returned home by Coalbrookdale, and on the first-day was at a very large meeting at the New Dale, wherein the Lord's power was exalted: blessed be his name forever! I reached home the 4th of the fifth month, and found my mother and brother well as usual, but my brother Henry, my father's son by a former wife, unwell, with a disorder in his right leg; which terminated in a mortification, and in something more than eight weeks his leg was taken off. Our affliction through this circumstance was considerable; for besides the care for his natural life, which was imminently in danger, our concern for his immortal soul was great. For having addicted himself to pleasure and to the gratification of his natural appetites, he had lost the simplicity of his education; and because he would indulge himself in liberties which he knew were inconsistent with the profession of Truth, he threw it off; saying, he would not retain the name and be a reproach to the people. He sometimes went to the church of England, not, as he said, from principle, but because he would go somewhere.

When a youth, he was much humbled under the visitation of Divine love; but when he arrived to mature age, he was drawn aside by vain company. In this affliction he was favoured with a renewed visitation of heavenly favour; under which he lamented his loss and fall, and remarked, “that it had been through keeping company, and not that which is accounted the worst of company neither.” He had a long time allowed him to repent, and in the fore part of his illness was penitent and much exercised in mind; but being flattered with the hopes of fife after his leg was cut off, his thoughts appeared then to be too much occupied with its prospects-, although not without some proposition of a reformation of conduct, if his health should be restored.

In this situation I was obliged to leave him, being engaged to attend the circular yearly meeting, which was held this year at Exeter. My sister supplied my place in the family, and I went pretty directly to it, attending the quarterly meeting at Gloucester, and two other meetings, in my way, the Lord's power accompanying me.

The meeting at Exeter was much less than some of the like kind had been; but was attended by some sober people, and by some high professors of religion, whose foundations were struck at in the power of Truth, the testimony whereof was measurably exalted. The state of the members of our own Society was ministered to; in some instances it was lamentable, and tended greatly to lessen the weight of the testimony of Truth, which had been at this time borne in the demonstration of its own spirit.

I proceeded from Exeter to the quarterly meeting in Somersetshire, which was eminently crowned with Divine favour; and I parted from Friends there in the comfortable sense of gospel fellowship, and returned to Bristol, having several large and satisfactory meetings in the way there.

I spent a few days in Bristol, I hope profitably, having renewed cause to believe that the Divine life was revived in some in that city, although too many had fallen asleep as in the lap of this world.

From Bristol I went to the quarterly meeting for Herefordshire, held at Ross, and so to Leominster; where I spent more than a week in my brother Young's family, not idly, but caring for it; and returned home to the mutual satisfaction of myself and my relations there.

I found my dear mother and brother tolerably well, and my poor brother Henry appeared in some respects better, yet at times so languid, that I doubted his continuing long in time. My fears proved well founded, for his deplorable disorder seized his other foot, and on the 15th of the twelfth month, 1762, he died; having endured a long scene of inexpressible pain and affliction. Agreeably to his own desire, his corpse was interred in Friends' burying ground.

He was endowed with a good understanding and an engaging natural disposition, and his person and manners were superior to many. He was in his fifty-seventh year.

I think it worthy of commemoration, that some time before he was seized with the disorder which terminated his life, I had been earnestly solicitous that the Lord would bring him to a sense of his apostatized state before he was taken out of time; and constrain him to condemn that libertine spirit wherein he had so long indulged; that his associates might not have cause so to triumph as to invalidate the Christian testimonies. These my desires were signally answered.

Chapter VIII.

Visits Cornwall—Marriage—Circular yearly meeting for Cornwall—Goes into Devonshire—Visits Hampshire and attends the yearly meeting in London—Visits Friends in Devonshire, Somersetshire and Dorsetshire—Religious engagements in Ireland—Letter to a Friend—Return home—Circular yearly meeting at Bewdley in Wales—Letters to several persons.

From the occurrences related in the close of the foregoing chapter, until after I entered into a marriage state, I made no minutes of my religious labours, although I was as constantly engaged as heretofore, in attending yearly and quarterly meetings, etc. in several parts of the nation, visiting particular meetings of Friends, as well as appointing some for people of other societies; and in the winters, I mostly spent some time in London. Yet so few remarkable incidents occurred, that my movements appeared scarcely worth' noting; except that the Lord's hand was revealed for my help and preservation, through which I was enabled to sustain almost uninterrupted, though varied, fatigue and exercise, both of body and mind. After my sister Ann's marriage, a load of domestic concerns devolved upon me. Through my mother's very great age, and my brother's frequent indisposition, my times of respite from travelling and gospel-labours were far from being seasons of rest.

A short time before I married, my left elbow was dislocated by a fall down stairs, and reduced with considerable difficulty. As that joint from my infancy had been weak, and had several times been hurt by falls from my horse, as is before related, it became from this time so weak, as to render my riding single improper, and riding double was rather dangerous, as I could not help myself on horse-back without my arm.

For the fulfilling of every purpose of Divine wisdom there is a particular season; and although I married rather late in life, the connection from its beginning was attended with such singular circumstances, as marked its being superior to nature, although nature had its share in it; and the restrictions laid upon my mind, and that of my beloved husband, were too remarkable to be omitted in the memoirs of the signally providential occurrences of my life.

I have already noted the meeting with William Phillips in 1749, at Swansea. Before that time we were entire strangers to each other, I do not recollect that I had ever heard of him. My mind had been, and was under strong restrictions in regard to entering into the marriage state, should I be solicited thereto; for as it appeared that for a series of years I should be much engaged in travelling for the service of Truth, I feared to indulge thoughts of forming a connection, which, from its incumbrances, might tend to frustrate the intention of Divine wisdom respecting me. This caution tended to keep me reserved in my conduct, towards such as might be likely to entertain views beyond friendship, in their acquaintance with me; and my mind, to the time of our meeting, had been so preserved, as never to admit the least impression of affection beyond that line, with any one.

William Phillips was then a widower, and had two young children. His worldly circumstances I was unacquainted with, further than that I then learned the place of his residence, and somewhat of his business, which was, in part, that of an agent to a copper company.

He was considerably older than myself. So that none of these circumstances could of themselves make a connection with him desirable.vFor as to his employ, which might seem the least exceptionable, it was less pleasing to me than would have been his being his own free man. It was therefore improbable that temporal considerations should bias my mind in his favour; and as to his religious experience, it appeared to be but in its infancy. He had indeed, a frank and open disposition, which, joined to a good, understanding, rendered his conversation agreeable; but I had but little opportunity to judge of this, before it appeared that perhaps we might one day unite in the marriage covenant.

Upon observing him strictly, I had the satisfaction to see that his mind was susceptible of the best impressions, and bending out of the world, wherein, in some parts of his conduct, he had taken too great a part. His behaviour to me was prudently restricted, though he afterwards confessed that his mind was affectionately disposed towards me. We were favoured together, especially in one meeting, with the uniting influence of Divine love, but parted merely as common friends. Very soon after, a circumstance happened, which, without the least design on either side, necessarily introduced a correspondence by letters between us; and we exchanged several in restricted terms, suited to our situations.

In a journey to the western counties, I had meetings in some towns where none were established, particularly at Redruth and Truro in Cornwall, at both of which William Phillips was very serviceable; and his spirit being dipped into sympathy with me in my service, and mine with him, under his religious exercises, it tended to strengthen the regard we had for each other; yet such was the restriction we were preserved under, that no sentiment transpired, nor was there any part of his conduct, more than was consistent with friendship: and thus we again parted, and continued our religious correspondence. But my mind becoming doubtful whether I had such an evidence that our intimacy would ever rise higher than friendship, as to warrant my retaining the prospect of it; and ruminating upon the injurious consequences which might ensue to us both, should our affections be engaged contrary to the Divine will; and that, perhaps, the continuing an intimacy with me might prevent his mind from settling upon some other person, who might be a suitable companion for him through life; and seeing clearly, that my religious prospects would not for a long time admit of my changing my situation, I concluded it safest to relinquish our correspondence, and to leave the event of the foundation of affection which was laid, to future time; hoping, that if Divine wisdom designed a nearer union between us, he would prepare my friend to be a suitable helpmate for me. My fear of erring on this occasion was proportioned to that superior love, which bound me to the service appointed me; in the pursuit whereof, I was desirous to relinquish every prospect and connection which might retard my fulfilling it: and I continued closely engaged in it for many years, and kept an entire distance from my friend.

In this time our minds became so released from each other, as to be at liberty to entertain other prospects of marriage; and but for the interposition of a watchful Providence, we might each of us have been engaged to our hurt. But however promising the prospect might be to my mind, I never was favoured with true peace, in looking to a marriage connection with any other; and as to my friend, although he had entirely lost the hope of a nearer union with me, however thoughtful he might be respecting its being convenient for him to change his situation, he did not find freedom to propose it to any other woman. Thus we continued separated, and separately exercised; I in close application to public service; and he in his worldly engagements, and under various temptations and conflicts, inwardly and outwardly, which called for the sympathy of a friend; when none was afforded, save that of the never-failing Helper, by whose hand his head was sustained, and he witnessed preservation even as from the “paw of the lion and bear.”

In the year 1766, I attended the circular meeting, and visited most of the meetings of Friends in Cornwall. Previously to my taking that journey, I had an intimation in my mind, which seemed to point towards a revival of our intimacy. This happened at a time when I was quite free from impressions of natural affection towards William Phillips; for I was deeply engaged in thoughtfulness respecting another friend, and humbly and earnestly desirous to be informed whether I might safely remove to the place of his residence.

Under this exercise, my mind was turned with uncommon force to Cornwall; and the name of the place where William Phillips resided was revived with such strength, that it was as if vocally spoken in my soul. At the same time I was favoured with the sweet sensation of Divine love and life. And although the removing to this poor country afforded no pleasing view, I was willing to submit, if Divine wisdom appointed it; but as to William Phillips, I doubted his having advanced in religion, so as to render a nearer union with him safe but I could only judge superficially, the exercised state of his mind being hid from me.

Hannah Shipley, of Uttoxeter in Staffordshire, was my companion in this journey, whose affectionate attention to me, I remember with gratitude; her service also in the ministry was acceptable to Friends.

When we came into Cornwall, I was cautious of giving heed to the before-mentioned intimation; and when I met William Phillips, I was desirous to be favoured with a sense of the state of his spirit; and was thankful to find it bending towards the spring of Divine life, beyond my expectation. We were frequently together while I was in the county; but never alone, so as at all to enter into conversation on the subject of our former correspondence, except when riding on the high road; when one day, he mentioned the trial it was to him that I should so abruptly drop it; and said he had cautiously avoided a conduct which might give me umbrage; and added, that he had never admitted a sentiment of displeasure on the occasion, as he concluded I had some reason for so doing, which was of sufficient weight to myself: but if my being in a single station were the cause, I needed not to have feared him, for although he loved me, hitherto his mind had been under a restriction from endeavouring to pass the bounds of friendship. This was saying more than he had ever done before; but during his being with me in this journey, his behaviour was strictly consistent with friendship only.

One circumstance I think worthy of relating, as it discovered both his sympathy with my religious engagements, and how Divine wisdom works to the effecting of his own purposes.

After I left Plymouth, in my way into Cornwall, it appeared that I should have a meeting at Plymouth Dock in my return. This I intimated to a Friend of Plymouth then with me, and desired him to inquire whether a proper place could be procured. This Friend, and another from Plymouth, met me at the circular yearly meeting, which was held at Bodmin, at which also was William Phillips.

They gave me no encouragement of getting a meeting at Dock; indeed it was looked upon improbable that a place large enough for the people could be procured there; so they proposed that a meeting should be appointed at Friends' meeting-house at Plymouth, and that the people of Dock should be invited thereto.

This did not seem to promise relief to my mind; for besides the Dock's being three miles distant, the house might probably have been too small for the Plymouth people and them. My concern for the Dock continued, but I said little about it, except hinting it to my brother, who, with several Friends out of Worcestershire, was at Bodmin. In the night before I left that place it pressed weightily upon my mind; but I could see no way to obtain a meeting, unless William Phillips would accompany me; who I knew had resolution enough to assist in the undertaking.

He designed going homeward the next day, and I was reluctant to propose his going with us to Plymouth; but desired, if my exercise for Dock was from the Lord, and it was right for him to assist me therein, that it might be impressed on his mind to go. After this, my spirit was relieved, and in the morning I heard W. Phillips say to the Friends, I must go to Plymouth, giving as a reason, that he had an uncle there who was unwell. He afterwards told me, this was the only reason he could assign for his mind being forcibly drawn to Plymouth, which it was before he arose; and when at breakfast he heard me inquiring whether a place could be procured at Dock to hold a meeting, he saw the cause of his being drawn to Plymouth, and immediately replied. There is no doubt of it.

In our way to Plymouth, we had a large satisfactory meeting in the market-house at Liskeard. At Dock, my brother. Friends from Worcestershire, and William Phillips, obtained a large school-room; which opened into a square.

A window was taken out, and I stood in that, so as to speak to the people without; and the house being full within, I believe all might hear, though there was a great concourse of people.

It was a favoured opportunity, at which the Friends who accompanied me for the promoting of it were very serviceable; but had not William Phillips assisted them, it did not appear probable that so large a meeting would have been procured, and held so quietly: he was peculiarly fitted for such services.

After my return home, our correspondence by letter revived; but although it soon passed the bounds of mere friendship, our minds were clothed with caution of stepping forward without Divine direction. For some years we saw each other but Seldom, and that only as we met in the course of my service; and notwithstanding a nearer union was from time to time pointed out, yet our way not opening clearly to the accomplishment of it, we did not marry until the 15th of seventh month, 1772; when, in a large and solemn meeting held at Bewdley, we took each other in the real fear of the Lord, and therein had a strong evidence of his favour.

Many of my friends from the adjacent meetings met us upon the occasion; unto whom my spirit was drawn forth in the best love; wherein, after we had taken each other in marriage, I was led to advise, caution, and encourage them.

The parting from my dear mother had been an affecting circumstance, but it was a great satisfaction to me, that although her faculties were breaking, she was sensible I was removed from her in Divine wisdom. The morning I left her, she took a quiet steady farewell of me, and told me she was satisfied Providence had provided for me, to whose will she was resigned. As my brother proposed accompanying me home, my sister Summerfield staid with our mother in his absence.

After our marriage at Bewdley, we proceeded on our way to my brother Young's at Leominster, where we staid some days, and then went to Swansea, my brother and niece A. Young, accompanying us. In our way to Swansea, we had a meeting at Hereford, and another near Talgarth in Wales, where the Countess of Huntingdon had established a college for the education of young men for the ministry. Some of them came to the meeting, and several behaved rather lightly; but one sought an opportunity with us afterwards, and freely expressed his uneasiness in his present situation, and desired to get amongst Friends.

He requested my husband's assistance to procure hum a suitable place; but though one pretty soon offered, and he was informed of it, he declined accepting it. Many are shaken by the power of Truth, but few are steadily concerned to build upon its foundation: and therefore it may with sorrow be said, “Many are called, but few chosen.” We had also a meeting at Llandilo, which, though not very large, was satisfactory.

We staid at Swansea some weeks, the wind being contrary for our going down the channel. During our stay there, the first and weekday meetings were mostly large and favoured. A particular visitation of Truth was extended to some who had gone out from Friends by marriage and otherwise, who were affectionately entreated, and warned of their danger and trifling with the day of their visitation, which was hastening fast to a conclusion.

Several of these were much affected, and two of them soon finished their course. I have admired the mercy of God, even to the backsliders and revolters from us; from few of whom the witness of Truth is so withdrawn, but that they will confess to it; and many to the latter stage of life are followed with close convictions, and tender calls to return to the heavenly Father's house, and yet continue in a country far remote from it: having so connected themselves with those who are in the spirit of this world, as to conclude it impossible to break loose from them. But, although through inattention to the holy Spirit of light and grace, they may have rendered their way very difficult, and mingled for themselves a bitter cup; yet if they would attend to that Divine love which draws them, they would experience its power to release their spirits from the power of satan, and bring them into “the glorious liberty of the children of God.”

I visited the families of those professing Truth in Swansea; but the time for holding the circular meeting for the western counties approaching, and it being to be held this year in Cornwall, my husband was earnest to get home.

Another meeting, also, which was usually very large, held annually near his habitation, engaged our attention; therefore, the wind not serving for us to go to Cornwall, we crossed the channel to Ilfracomb in Devonshire, and through Divine favour landed safely, though not without some danger; and proceeded directly home to Redruth. The first-day after we reached it, we attended the before-mentioned meeting at Key, at which it was supposed there were fifteen hundred people; it was held without doors, and was a favoured opportunity.

The next week came on the circular yearly meeting, which was held at Helston, was extremely large, and well attended by Friends; and in several meetings the testimony of Truth was exalted through several of the Lord's chosen servants. I was largely and livingly opened in his service, by him who alone can qualify for it; to whom I ever desire to ascribe the praise.

For some time after I came home, a pretty many serious people attended our meetings, and doctrine suitable to their states was opened; but most of them were too much under the influence of human teachers to receive the Truth in its simplicity, and walk by its light. I found a concern to appoint a meeting at the place called St. Agnes, a town on the north sea coast.

Near this place the people were addicted to the barbarous custom of plundering vessels wrecked upon the coast. Abundance of people collected, so that we were obliged to hold the meeting in the street, which was a remarkably quiet solemn opportunity. Many of the wreckers were supposed to be present, and I had to reprove the practice very closely; which might be supposed to have present effect, for the people exerted themselves to save the cargo of the next vessel that was wrecked.

In a few weeks after the circular meeting, I went to the quarterly meeting for Devonshire, held at Kingsbridge, and from there took a turn into the north of the county, accompanied by William Cookworthy, and several other Friends.

We appointed meetings in several places where none were settled, in all of which, except at Great Torrington, we had good satisfaction; and there we had reason to conclude that we appointed the meeting at too late an hour, through condescension to some who expressed a desire to attend it, and could not come sooner.

It was first-day, and the evening coming on, a crowd of disorderly people impeded the service; and my mind was the more pained, because an earlier hour had been pointed to me for holdings the meeting. We had a good meeting in the town-hall at Launceston, after which William Cookworthy went homewards, and I to Wadebridge. I had a meeting there to satisfaction, and returned home, under the persuasion of having been engaged in the discharge of my duty, and assisted by Divine grace in the performance thereof.

I staid at and about home until near the time of the yearly meeting at Bristol, 1773, which I attended; and from there, accompanied by my dear friend Lydia Hawksworth, went to that in London. We visited the meeting of Friends in Hampshire in our way, and I returned into Cornwall to our quarterly meetings held at Looe, in the seventh month; where my husband met me, and we went together to that for Devonshire, held at Plymouth.

The annual meeting at Key was this year large and satisfactory; after which I went to visit my aged parent and other relations, and attended the circular yearly meeting at Gloucester. I visited the meetings of Friends, as I went along, who were truly glad to see me, and we were favoured together with the sweet influence of Divine love and life. The circular yearly meeting was very large both of Friends and other professors of religion, and was much favoured through the ministry. The select meeting for Friends was a memorable opportunity.

Plentiful are the showers of gospel rain which often fall upon these occasions; but in regard to many minds visited, it is like water spilled upon a stone, which, though it wet its surface, does not change its nature; but in others, I hope it is like “Bread cast upon the waters,” a very unstable element, yet it “may return after many days!"

From this meeting I returned home with my friend Sarah Tregelles. In my way I had two large meetings at South Molton to good satisfaction. There are none professing with us in that town; but some Friends from Exeter accompanied us, and others under convincement from the north of Devonshire met us here. I returned home to our quarterly meeting at Penzance, and was thankfully received by my dear husband, whose great affection rendered it hard for him to be so frequently separated from me, but in resignation to the Divine will he was favoured with peace.

In the first month 1774, I had a satisfactory meeting at Helston, in the town-hall. The weather was wet, and the seat whereon I sat was very damp, but on the evening after the meeting I did not find I had taken any cold.

Next morning I was well as usual, but suddenly, I found myself much indisposed, and was seized with convulsions in my head. This alarmed my husband, who called upon an apothecary, and I quickly got better, and we went home, where the disorder returned. In a few days however I appeared to be much better, but I quickly relapsed; and in a few weeks was reduced to a state of extreme weakness.

My affliction in this time of indisposition was very great, but I was preserved in patience, and when I revived a little, wrote as follows: “I am now reviving from bodily weakness. O! that it may be with renewed strength to serve the bounteous Author of my being and blessings, who brings low and raises up in his wisdom and mercy. He knows when afflictions are needful to his servants; and in this season of weakness, my soul has thankfully acknowledged his tender care, to prevent my spirit's settling with too great attention on “the things which are seen, and which are temporal.”

We often need to be awakened to seek with greater earnestness those “things which are eternal,” namely, righteousness and its consequence, Divine favour; by being put in remembrance, that the time of our departure hence may be at hand. “Blessed,” indeed, “is that servant who, when his Lord cometh” and calls from works to rewards “he shall find watching:” and what great, need is there to watch against the encroaching spirit of this world; whereby many quickened, enlightened minds have been benumbed and darkened; and their desires after the food which nourishes up the soul unto everlasting life, weakened; until at length they have left the Lord's table, and fed with pleasure at the table of idols! The friendships of this world, which are enmity with God, have been delighted and gloried in, and its interests principally sought.

These, though they may appear orderly in the view of men, are in danger of becoming as “trees twice dead;” they having been dead in a state of nature, and quickened by Divine grace. If these totally fall away from their spiritual exercise, how shall they be again renewed? Alas! the judgment is determined; they must be plucked out of the Lord's plantation, wherein only living fruit-bearing trees can remain with acceptance.”

“In this time of weakness my spirit has been renewedly visited, and my understanding opened in Divine love and light: and therefore it rests with me to commemorate it, as a fresh instance of the love of my heavenly Father who, in all the dispensations of his wisdom to his children, seeks their being perfected in righteousness; that he may more and more bless them with his favour while here, and finally receive them into everlasting mansions of bliss.”

But although I grew so much better as to get about in the spring, my constitution still laboured under a heavy load, without hope of being entirely relieved; and I was therefore frequently led to pray for patience and resignation to suffer in the way Divine wisdom might permit; and, under great weakness, was enabled in a degree to come up in the service appointed me, in our little meeting and about home. I was reduced so extremely low by this indisposition, as to be doubtful, whether I could have survived it, had I not been removed from my mother's family; as in that, considering her situation, and my brother's, it was unlikely I should have been so released from care, and so tenderly and affectionately attended to, as by my dear husband, and the assistance he procured for me.

In the seventh month I left home in order to attend the circular yearly meeting and once more visit my aged and honourable parent, who had several times expressed a desire to see me. My husband accompanied me to Torrington, where we had a meeting of Friends scattered round in that neighbourhood. From Torrington we went to Appledore, and crossed the Channel into Wales, and I proceeded to Bristol; where, and in its neighbourhood, I staid until my husband's business admitted his coming to me; and from there we proceeded to Dudley, visiting the meetings of Stourbridge and Worcester in our way. I found my dear mother extremely weak, and her faculties so impaired that she did not know me; yet I thought she was sensible I was one for whom she had a great affection; and after seeing me several times she recollected me, and was much pleased with my company. After I had taken my leave of her, she said, “Now I shall not be here long;” and so it proved, for she died in the following winter.

From Dudley we proceeded to the circular yearly meeting held at Kington, Herefordshire, which, considering the country not being so populous as some others, and but few Friends in the neighbourhood, was large, and for the most part satisfactory. I still continued in a weak state, yet was enabled to take a share in the service, Divine mercy strengthening beyond my expectation. After this meeting we went to Bath, Dr. Fothergill having advised me to drink the waters.

In the spring of 1775 I visited some meetings in Devonshire, Somersetshire, and Dorsetshire, in my way to the yearly meeting at London. Lydia Hawksworth accompanied me in some part of the journey. Such was my state of bodily weakness, that my getting along, and being enabled to go through with the service assigned, claimed my admiration and thankfulness. I attended the meetings in London with considerable diligence, though very unwell, got out of town as soon as I could, and, accompanied by Lydia Hawksworth, went to her mother's, Deborah Waring, at Alton; where I rested a few days, and then proceeded to the quarterly meetings for Hampshire and Dorsetshire held at Ringwood and Poole; and so to our quarterly meeting at Looe. Here I met my dear husband, to our mutual rejoicing, although my languid state affected him painfully.

From Looe we returned home, and through Divine favour I so gathered strength, as that in the eighth month I again left home, accompanied by my husband, intending to go through Wales to the circular yearly meeting. I had several meetings in our own county and Devonshire to good satisfaction, and we crossed the Channel from Appledore to Swansea.

A circumstance happened at Appledore worthy of observation. Some sober people of that place were desirous of a meeting; but I was restrained from having one so public as was wished, yet was quite free to sit down in a friendly woman's house, with such as she might think proper to invite. The meeting was held in an upper room, the window of which fronted the river. A number of serious people came, and I had a favoured opportunity amongst them. Immediately as I sat down, one of the persons present stepped to me, and told me, the vessel we wished to go in was getting under sail. This was unexpected intelligence, as we were informed she would not sail that tide, and had not taken our passage in her. Had we held our meeting in another place, she had probably slipped away without our knowledge; as her sailing was perceived by the before-mentioned person in the meeting from the window.

As I was now free to go, I immediately went out at the back-door, into a boat, and on board. My husband went to the inn, and reached the ship, with our clothes, in a boat, before she got over the bar. We had a good passage; but had we missed this opportunity, we should have suffered much in coming in a sloop the next day, as the weather changed to wet and stormy. This is one of the many instances of providential direction I have experienced.

We staid at and about Swansea about two weeks; and from there proceeded to Leominster, Worcester, and Dudley. From Dudley, after spending a short time with my brother, we went to the circular yearly meeting held at Coleshill, Warwickshire; which was large and Divinely favoured. From Coleshill we went through Coventry to Warwick, spent a little time with my sister, who, with her husband and son, were now settled there; and from there we went through Evesham, Painswick, etc. home, where we arrived in safety.

In this winter a concern rested upon my mind once more to visit Friends in Ireland and in my way to that kingdom, to attend the quarterly meetings at York, Lancaster, and Westmoreland, and the yearly meeting for the four northern counties to be held at Keswick.

My beloved friend Lydia Hawksworth was given up to accompany me, and we accordingly prepared for the journey; and in first month 1776 my husband accompanied me to Bristol.

The weather was extremely cold, and the snow so deep that the roads in Devonshire, and from there to Bristol, had been impassable, and were then dangerous; but through Divine favour we got along safely, although the cold was so extreme that it was hard to bear. The road in some places was cut through the snow, so that it looked like passing through a deep hollow way, which had a very striking appearance.

At Bristol, my dear husband left me to go to Swansea, where he arrived safely, although the Severn at the New Passage, where it is three miles over, was so full of ice as to render crossing dangerous.

Just at this juncture, my companion's mother died, and she went to attend her funeral. I staid over first-day at Bristol meeting and proceeded, through some meetings in Gloucestershire, etc. to Dudley, where my sister met me. We spent some time together with my brother, and I went to Birmingham, where I was met by my companion, and we proceeded on our journey.

Our first meeting was held in the town hall at Stafford, which was large, solemn, and satisfactory. From there we went to Leek, and passed through several meetings in Cheshire and Lancashire, to Sheffield, and so through many meetings in Yorkshire, to the quarterly meeting at York. After the meeting at York I was concerned to have one at Tadcaster, where there was no Friends' meeting-house; and another near Harwood, which was very satisfactory; and another, on the first-day, at Otley, which was large, and I hope serviceable.

From there we went through several meetings, to Lancaster, attended the quarterly meeting there, afterwards to Westmoreland quarterly meeting held at Kendal, from there to the yearly meeting at Keswick, and so to Cockermouth and Whitehaven.

We had travelled from Birmingham in sixty-two days, five hundred miles, and attended fifty-six meetings; and as much of the service of meetings lay upon me, my natural strength was greatly exhausted before I embarked for Ireland: but I had abundant cause to acknowledge that Divine aid was from time to time dispensed; by which I was enabled to press forward, though under very painful feelings.

We went on board a large vessel at Whitehaven on the 21st of the fourth month, and landed at Dublin the 25th. Our passage was not without danger. One night a vessel run so near ours, that they became entangled in their rigging. The captain and sailors were much alarmed, but we got clear. How imprudent it is for vessels not to hang out their lights. As our preservation was great, it claimed our deep thankfulness: a very little more, and probably one of the vessels had sunk, and the other might have been much damaged. Another night we lay at anchor near the Isle of Man, and had reason to conclude ourselves in shallow water upon a sandbank. Had the wind blown up fresh, it might probably have been of bad consequence.

Our captain had not been accustomed to navigate the Irish Channel; and when we drew near Dublin Bar, appeared regardless of the danger of crossing it, wishing to get into port without a pilot, although the wind was rough. A pilot, however, espying us, came on board, and took the vessel safely in; but the tide was so far spent, that she threw up the mud with her keel, as we passed the bank called the Great Bull.

We arrived at Dublin a few days before the national half-year's meeting began. This allowed us time to attend several meetings with the Friends of that city; wherein the spring of the ministry was livingly opened to the states of many professors amongst us: and although I had to lament the stripped state of that city, through the removal of useful members, and the weakness of many who remained in the Society; yet was there cause for thankfulness, in feeling the fresh extending of the Divine visitation to them. The half-year's meeting was large, and signally favoured with an awakening searching visitation; and I was so helped therein, that many of my Friends, who had been with me in former services in that nation, rejoiced that the heavenly Master had again sent me to see how they fared.

I write these remarks in reverence and thankfulness to the Great Putter forth and Qualifier for the services he appoints; who, to keep the minds of those whom he favours humble, permits them to be tried with hidden exercises. This was my case through the course of this journey, wherein the spring of gospel-ministry was largely opened; and I often appeared to my friends as clothed with a royal robe, though, underneath, I was girded as with sackcloth.

From Dublin, we proceeded to visit the meetings through the main body of Friends in Leinster province, to that of Ulster; wherein we visited all the meetings, except two or three very small ones, the Friends belonging to which we desired to meet us at another meeting.

We attended the quarterly meetings in both provinces, and returned back to Dublin the 2nd of the seventh month, where we staid until the 12th: in which time we attended meetings either for worship or discipline almost every day; and Divine condescension in opening fresh matter, suited to the several occasions, was so admirable, that it appeared as if every state and office in the Society was ministered to.

By this time my natural strength was much exhausted; yet we pressed on through the counties of Wicklow and Wexford, and were at a province meeting at Enniscorthy, which was very large and crowned with solemnity.

Here we took leave of Friends of that province, and proceeded to that of Munster, wherein there are but few meetings, but the distances mostly long. My reduced state rendered it hard getting along; yet I was enabled to visit all the meetings, except a small one at Bandon, and favoured to discharge my duty therein; although my voice was sometimes so weak, that it was with extreme difficulty I exerted it to speak so as to be understood. When we came to Clonmell, and had attended the meeting there, it seemed proper for us to retire to the house of our friend John Grubb about two miles out of the town; where I went the 8th of the eighth month, and staid until the 14th, being much indisposed. Here I was affectionately received and attended, and the quarterly meeting for the province being held at Clonmell during my stay there, many Friends came to see me, and we were favoured together. I was enabled to speak beyond my expectation, to the comfort and encouragement of some, and caution of others, and took a solemn farewell of them in the love of Truth.

About this time she penned the following letter:

To a Friend of Ireland, written a short time before I left it, in the year 1776.

Esteemed friend,—As I have had some cause to doubt the rectitude of our determination of not spending a night at your house, I am inclined to essay a few lines, as a friendly salutation, as well as to intimate what appeared to me proper to recommend to your consideration and practice. As a member of Society, disengaged from the necessity of being much employed in worldly business, it behoves you to attend steadily to the filling up that station in the church, for which Divine wisdom designed you; that, glorifying him with your body, spirit, and substance, you may, in the conclusion of time, receive the answer of “Well done good and faithful servant;” which those are not likely to be favoured with, who “dwell in their ceiled houses,” and settle down in the enjoyment of their temporal possessions, while the Lord's house lies waste.

There are so few who are of clean hands, and are therefore fit to take part in the active services in the church, that I cannot but regret the loss of some who are seeking concealment, contenting themselves with preserving a fair character amongst men, and attending on the external duties of religion; but who, had they devoted their faculties to the Lord's service, might have been girded for it, and stood as in the front of the battle. Thus, clothed with concern for the welfare of their fellow members in Society, their zeal for the promotion of Truth would, in an especial manner, be manifested by an engagement to cleanse the camp from those who bring a reproach on our holy profession; and for the preservation of our youth from the snares of the enemy. Well, my friend, it is with me to query whether you have taken your proper share in this work, or have been excusing yourself, and leaving it to others.

I know nothing by outward information, but as something like a jealously rested on my mind respecting you, I am willing to intimate it; at the same time assuring you of my esteem for you, as one of the Lord's visited children; who, I hope, has been in a good degree preserved “from the corruptions that are in the world through lust;” and have received a portion of that precious faith, which in all ages has been delivered to the saints, through which some in the present day have obtained a good report, and been rendered very serviceable.

Whether you might not have stood amongst those chosen, and (shall I say) dignified servants, it behoves you to inquire. Must the poor and the illiterate, who are “rich in faith” and good works, be brought to condemn those amongst us who have received much spiritually, naturally, and temporally? Yes, verily: some of these have done so little that the sins of omission must be chargeable upon them while others who have had to struggle under difficulties in regard to temporal things, and appeared comparatively to be of but low understandings, have come up nobly in the Lord's cause, and shone as stars in the firmament of his power. Well, my friend, look to your part of the work, and solemnly attend to the filling up your measure in righteousness. “Let no man take your crown.”

Something of this sort seemed to point towards you; and in that love which seeks your increasing in the increases of God, do I communicate it; and now add a few words in regard to your wife, for whom you are doubtless tenderly concerned, and, considering her delicate constitution, may justly fear the consequences of her nursing unavailing sorrow. I wish she would imitate David, who, when the child was dead, arose and washed himself and ate: for it is no doubt acceptable to kind Providence, that when we are deprived of one temporal blessing, we should humbly rejoice in those which remain, and say with Job, The Lord gave and has taken away, and blessed be his name. Has he not a right to recall what he has sent us? But unprofitably to sink under such strokes of his hand, appears to me to savour of the sorrow of the world, which works death, sometimes both to body and spirit, if persisted in. I therefore beg she will look from the beloved object, now no more her's; and consider how graciously the Father of mercies has dealt with him, in removing him thus early from this state of conflicts.

When our attention is rightly turned to consider what is lacking in ourselves, we are not so subject unprofitably to ruminate on circumstances like these; but, being principally concerned to be prepared to participate in the happiness of those “who die in the Lord,” shall desire that all may finally “work together for our good.”

I now conclude in true love, your friend,

Catharine Payton

N. B. These Friends had lately lost a young son.

The 14th, we went to Waterford, but I continued so much indisposed, that it appeared best to go into the country; so we retired to a village called Tramore, by the sea-side. Here we staid from the 15th of the eighth month, till the 9th of the ninth month. My indisposition continued and reduced me very low; but blessed be the Lord, his hand sustained me, and through all, my spirit was at times set at liberty in his service to the admiration of myself and friends; many of whom from Waterford came to us there, and we had several seasonable opportunities with them, as well as with some who were at the place to bathe in the sea. My nerves being extremely weak, I was also advised to bathe, by the doctor who attended me, but I believe it had rather a bad effect. We had not staid at Tramore so long, had there been a suitable vessel at Waterford, ready to sail for England. On our return there, we had two meetings with Friends in a large parlour, at the house of our friend Isaac Jacobs, my voice not being equal to a meeting in the meeting-house. Thus we visited Friends in that city pretty generally, and the 12th embarked on board a vessel bound for Minehead.

Our friend Robert Grubb, of Clonmell, accompanied us, being in sympathy inclined thereto; which we accepted as a favour from Providence.

Our passage was easy as to wind; but my great indisposition, and my companion's extreme sea-sickness seemed to render such an assistant necessary, and he was very attentive and serviceable to us. When we came near our desired port, the wind turned against us and the weather became rough. However, the captain got over the bar just in time, for had we been but one hour later, we must have been driven back to sea, if not to Waterford: we landed at Minehead the 14th. There is only Robert Davies's family of our Society in that town. He was from home, but one of his children met us upon the beach, from which it was a long walk to his house. When we came into the street, we saw an empty cart going up it, and asked the carter to carry us to our friend's, which he readily did. My dear husband met us here, to our mutual satisfaction; though to receive me back in so weak a state was affecting to him. The 15th was first-day, but I did not attend the meeting at the meeting-house, but had an opportunity in the afternoon with the Friends belonging to it, in our friend's parlour.

The 16th, we left Minehead, and travelled homewards by easy stages, my dear companion accompanying me to the verge of our county, from where she turned to the circular yearly meeting held at Bridgewater. She was indeed a most tender affectionate companion, and a deep travailer in spirit, both in meetings and private opportunities: and although her public service in this journey was not large, it was very acceptable; and her private labours in many families were signally under that heavenly anointing, from which she was concerned to minister. I hoped to have been able to attend the circular yearly meeting, and pressed forward in Ireland, in the fore part of this journey, in order to get to England in time; but after our return from the north of Dublin, it was much impressed upon my mind, that I should have but just strength to accomplish the service in that nation, and so it proved.

I had travelled in this journey in England and Ireland, about two thousand English miles, and attended one hundred and ninty-two meetings, besides family opportunities, and visiting the sick. Sometimes we had several private meetings of this kind in one day, and seldom were without one, at least.

After my return home, I continued much indisposed, and my nerves so irritable that I had continual spasms for a considerable time; and my dear brother James Payton came to visit me, and becoming very unwell, was detained the winter. As I gathered strength, I was enabled to attend upon little services about home; and my friend Lydia Hawksworth coming to see me, we visited the families of Friends in Falmouth and Marazion monthly meetings, except one or two of each, whom I afterwards saw: in this service the Lord was with us of a truth. Soon after Lydia Hawksworth left me, Sarah Stevenson came to visit Friends in this county; in company with whom, I visited most of the families belonging to Austle monthly meeting, to our mutual satisfaction; my dear husband accompanying us in this service.

Until the seventh month in this year 1777, I had not been out of Cornwall since my return from Ireland in the ninth month 1776, which was the longest period I remember to have been confined within the limits of one county, since my first journey in the service of Truth into Wales, in the year 1749. I do not mention this as thinking much of my services; for although it has been my lot to be more constantly employed than many others of my fellow-labourers, I can truly say, I frequently look upon myself as an unprofitable servant; and when laid by a little, have to ruminate upon my many weaknesses; under a sense whereof I feelingly acknowledge that what I am, that is acceptable to the Lord, or honourable in his house, I am through his grace; and I often admire at his employing me so much in his service.

In the seventh month this year, in company with my dear husband, I went to Swansea, his business, and to visit his mother, calling him there. In our way we had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devonshire; but being yet very weak, I was easy to pass along without engaging much in public service. We had a good meeting at Appledore with some serious people, and crossed the Channel to Swansea, where we staid about two weeks, and proceeded to Bristol.

In our way between Newport and the New Passage, which we intended to cross, we received information that the Passage-house was so full of people that there was no probability of our getting a lodging there; so my husband intended going forward to Chepstow, though neither of us liked the prospect of crossing at the Old Passage; but our minds, especially mine, not being easy to proceed there, we stopped at a small inn about two miles from the New Passage, and got a comfortable lodging, and next morning proceeded to the New Passage.

We got safely over the Channel, although the wind was squally; but the same tide, the boat from the Old Passage was lost, even while we were on the water, and several men, with many oxen, drowned. Had we gone to Chepstow we should most probably have been in her. Thus kind Providence signally preserved us.

After about a week's stay at Bristol, and visiting Frenchay meeting, we went to Worcester, so to Bromsgrove and Dudley. I was still in a very weak state, yet enabled to attend meetings, and labour in them to the comfort of my friends and my own peace; although at times in great bodily pain. My sister met me at Dudley, and we were glad to see each other.

From Dudley we proceeded to the circular yearly meeting held this year at Bewdley; and in our way we had a meeting with Friends at Stourbridge, wherein my weakness was such, that I could hardly impart what pressed upon my mind so as to be heard. I was discouraged from looking towards the solemnity at Bewdley, with expectation of being able to take much part in the public service; but was desirous to be assisted to labour in spirit for the help of my brethren and sisters engaged therein. On the seventh-day evening, the meeting for ministers and elders was held, wherein I had something to impart, in so low a voice as painfully to affect my friends; who might reasonably conclude it probable that my strength was so exhausted, as that I should not long be capable of public labour in the church; and indeed my own feelings of general weakness coincided with that apprehension; but in the course of the public meetings the Lord's power was wonderfully manifested, in strengthening me for service, to the admiration of all who saw my extreme weakness, and my own also. Indeed with humble gratitude I may acknowledge that it appeared miraculous; for I do not know whether I was ever able to speak with greater strength of voice and sentiment, than in the last meeting; so that although the booth was very large and crowded, I believe all might hear: and to the praise of the Great Name be it commemorated that his power was signally over the meeting.

This extraordinary manifestation of favour tended to strengthen my mind, which for a long time had been sorely exercised with many fears, insomuch that my spirit was weary in the conflict, and ready to hope for death rather than life. Yet was I secretly sustained so as to press forward, and mostly to preserve a cheerful countenance, so that my friends could not perceive how my spirit was exercised and abased in the sense of infirmities, even when I was evidently clothed for service. Thus it has pleased Divine wisdom to permit me to be tried in my passing along from youth to advanced age: doubtless for some good end, and I desire thankfully to commemorate his gracious and wise dealings with me, in humble hope that finally all will work together for good; when, having filled up my measure of sufferings, I may be accepted in and through his beloved Son. It is not for us to query why these afflicting dispensations are appointed, but patiently to endeavour to wade through them. We may be certain they will tend to humble our spirits and prepare for service, as my soul has many times experienced; and therefore can pray, that I may be passive in regard to the dealings of the Lord with me, who best knows what is necessary to effect, the glorious purpose he has in view, which is the thorough sanctification of my spirit, and reducing it into “the obedience of Christ:” concerning whom it is written “Although he was a son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;” and if so, his servants can expect no other.

I have sometimes considered what that suffering of Christ was, whereby he learned obedience; seeing that he could not suffer for disobedience, being in all things subject to the will of his Father. But as man he was made like unto us, and had the same feelings as have the members of his mystical body; and although he was never overcome of the enemy, was liable to be assaulted by him. He had to bear the contradiction of sinners against himself; and, no doubt, in the course of his ministry felt the oppressive weight of contrary and wicked spirits, as the members of his church now do in their measure.

As man, we may suppose that he had the same reluctance to pain and insult as we have; but in submission to his Father's will, did and permitted what he in wisdom and mercy to mankind appointed him. His followers also must thus “be made conformable to his death,” if they have part with him in his resurrection unto glory. And although some of them may be left in seasons of extreme conflict, as he was in the most extreme, without the sensible feeling of the Divine presence; yet that power which appoints their suffering, secretly sustains under it; and when they have filled up their “measure of suffering for his body's sake, which is his Church,” with all other afflictions attendant on this probationary state, they will with him be able to say, “It is finished;” and as good and faithful servants enter into the joy of their Lord.

After the before-mentioned memorable meeting at Bewdley, I recruited in health, though yet attended with very painful feelings. We returned home pretty directly, taking the quarterly meeting for Somersetshire, and some other meetings in our way; and the remainder of this year I spent at home, attending to services in our own county as they opened.

The 20th of the fourth month 1778, I again left it in company with my dear husband, intending for Wales, he having business there, and I had an engagement to attend the yearly meeting for that principality. We proceeded to Ilfracomb, and, in our way, had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devon at Newtown, At Ilfracomb we had a large satisfactory meeting, amongst a people very ignorant of our principles. We were detained here by contrary winds until first-day, and as we sat together in the morning, I earnestly desired to know whether any further service was required; as it did not appear probable we should be released that day; and afterwards as I sat quietly in my chamber, our Lord's words to his disciples arose in my mind, “Arise, let us go hence,” and soon after, the captain of the vessel came and told us he intended to sail. We went on board in the afternoon, and before midnight landed at the Mumbles, and the next morning proceeded to Swansea. My husband's mother was lately dead; concerning whom I may say, that she was an exercised woman, and I believe finished her course with joy, about the ninety-seventh year of her age; and except her hearing, she retained her faculties to admiration. As her furniture, with her servants, remained in her house, we settled there.

The 2nd of the fifth month we went for the Welch yearly meeting, and were at a meeting by the way at New Inn meeting-house, which was large and very satisfactory, Samuel Spavold of Hitchin in Hertfordshire, John Lewis of Haverford-west, and Thomas Carrington, froin North America, were there also; and we went in company that afternoon to a meeting which was appointed by John Lewis, at a Friend's house, not far out of the way to Llandovery, and to Llandovery the same night.

Here the yearly meeting was held, and began the next day; and through the various sittings, was a favoured season both to Friends and others. The weather being very wet, it was not so large as was expected, but many sober people attended, unto whom the gospel flowed freely. In the course of my travels before my marriage, I had two very satisfactory meetings at this place, where none live who profess with us.

My spirit, in the course of the yearly meeting, was dipped into sympathy with the few Friends scattered about Wales: and to those who were there assembled, encouragement and instruction were afforded. In our return to Swansea, we had a large and much favoured meeting at Llandily; the before-mentioned Friends and John Townsend of London attending it. They went back to a meeting at the New Inn meeting-house, and next day we all met again at Swansea. The afternoon meeting there was large, solemn, and instructive.

We staid at Swansea until the 14th, then went to Cardiff, and on the next morning had a small meeting there with a few who met together on the first-day; several of whom were not in membership with us. I was very unwell, but was helped to speak to their states, and was well satisfied with the opportunity. We reached the New Passage that night, and next day we got to Bristol to attend the yearly meeting there, which was large and divinely favoured.

Samuel Spavold, John Townsend, Thomas Carrington, and other Friends in the ministry attended it.

On the 21st I was at a meeting at Frenchay, with Thomas Waring of Leominster; and after the meeting, my friend Lydia Hawksworth and I had a good opportunity with a young woman, who was likely to marry out of the Society, She was much affected, yet held her resolution to engage in the connexion. Her intended husband was a man of property, and had long resided in America, where he took her, and there she died.

In the afternoon we had a favoured season at Joseph Beck's, with many young people, and returned that night to Bristol. The 24th (first-day), we were at Claverham meeting, the 25th and 26th at Bristol; myself unwell.

The 27th, I was at Bath meeting, which was not large but favoured, returned to Bristol, and the 30th, we went to Pont-y-pool. The 31st (first-day), we attended two meetings at Friends, meeting-house at Pont-y-moil, near Pont-y-pool.

That in the morning was principally for Friends, that in the afternoon was large, and both opportunities were crowned with the Divine presence.

Sixth month 1st, we had a meeting at Cardiff with a few sober people. In our way back to Swansea we called upon a convinced woman, who lived alone near Cowbridge, who was comforted by our visit. We staid at Swansea, until the 12th, attending the meetings there in their course, some of which were seasons of Divine favour. My mind being drawn to visit the few Friends at Haverford-west, my husband accompanied me there. The way was long, and my strength much exhausted by the before-mentioned services; but I was favoured with ability to discharge my duty. We had a large meeting at Carmarthen the evening we left Swansea, and next day got to Haverford-west; attended two public meetings there on the 14th, it being first-day, and in the evening had a private opportunity with Friends.

We had considerable satisfaction in this journey, and returned to Swansea, accompanied by our friend John Lewis, the 16th.

The 18th was the quarterly meeting at Swansea, which although very small was a solemn opportunity; Divine mercy favouring the few assembled from the several meetings, with counsel and encouragement. The 19th, John Lewis and myself had a meeting in the townhall at Neath, which was not so large as we expected, but, I believe it was a profitable season to some present. The 20th, we went to Llantriflfent, and the 21st attended two large meetings at Tref-y-Ryhg, a meeting-house in the country. The morning-meeting was much favoured.

The few from Cardiff", and the poor lonely woman near Cowbridge, met us, and we had an opportunity with them and a few other Friends at a Friend's house. In our return to Swansea, we had a meeting at Bridgend, in a bowling-green, wherein was an arbour, under which I stood. The people were very still, and I hope some were benefited. I was extremely fatigued with this journey, having performed it mostly on horseback, double; which appeared the best method of travelling in some part of the journey, but I found my strength was not equal to that exercise in such long stages.

The 28th (first-day) I attended a small meeting held at IVeath, in a Friend's house, in the morning; and in the evening had a very large meeting at White Rock, amongst the workmen of the Copper House and others. This was the last meeting I appointed in Wales, and left Swansea with peace and thankfulness the 27th of the sixth month, and returned to it no more.

We reached Bristol the 29th, and got to Wellington the 1st of the seventh month, attending the first-day meetings there: that in the afternoon was very large, and both were good meetings.

The 5th, we had a living meeting at Camelford in Cornwall, amongst a people not professing with us; but some of whom appeared to me to be near the kingdom. The 6th, we got home.

Extract of a letter to a Member of our Society, who had spent much of his time very inconsistently with his profession of religion, and was favoured with a Divine visitation when far advanced in life.

6th of the Sixth Month, 1778.

Esteemed friend,—I have several times thought of writing you since our return from Bristol, but till now have neglected it, and as I know not but we may pretty soon turn homewards, it may appear the less needful for me to do it; but as my mind still bends towards you, in an affectionate concern for your more firm establishment in the Truth, I am willing to tell you so, and earnestly request your constant attention to its dictates; that thereby you may be led out of corrupt self in all its appearances, and consequently, into that holy simplicity of mind and manners, which characterises a disciple of Christ.

I have been much afraid lest you should settle down in a partially converted state, and after having deeply tasted of the terrors of the Lord for past sins, which indeed were flagrant, should content yourself with forsaking them, and neglect to press after inward righteousness.

I hope you will excuse me for being thus plain with you, and that I shall explain my meaning in some degree to your satisfaction, when I tell you, that the observations I have made at your aiming after grandeur or show in your appearance and furniture, have given me pain, as I know it to be the fruit of a mind not truly or fully humbled.

In the general, in the infancy of religion, when conviction for past offences has gone deep enough, the mind is very scrupulous and fearful of receiving a fresh wound by the indulgence of the natural inclination; and frequently is led into so strait a path, that when it has been well disciplined by the cross, a little more liberty is allowed in the use of some things, which in that state it was restrained from.

This has appeared to me as passing under the dispensation of John the Baptist, which was preparatory to that of Christ, and must be experienced in our religious progress. For, although the necessity of the outward shadowy baptism cease, we must be plunged in Jordan, the river of judgement: and as John appeared in great austerity and mortification, having “a garment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins, and his meat was locusts and wild honey;” so renewed minds must know that life to be slain, which delights itself in grand appearances and delicacies, and be content with mean things; so as to walk in contrariety to the world, and be sequestered from it, as John was in the wilderness. Under this dispensation of mortification, the mountains and hills are brought down, and the valleys are exalted, and the way of the Lord is prepared; unto which, as the soul is reconciled, rough ways are rendered smooth, and crooked paths straight; and the salvation of God is revealed; and there is an entering into the innocent liberty of the Lord's children, in the use of his creatures. For although “John came neither eating nor drinking,” the Lord Jesus came “eating and drinking,” yet in reverence and fear; and though he was “Lord of all, he became of no reputation,” and took upon him the appearance of a servant.

Well, my friend, these things are written for our instruction, and are worthy our attentive consideration, that we may see whether we are endeavouring to enter “through the gate into the city” of the saints solemnities. We read, “Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way which leads to life;” and alas! “few find it.”

The indulgence of the fleshly mind and natural inclination, prevents many from seeing it; and though some have seen it, they have not steadily persevered in striving to enter in; and therefore have rested short of that perfected righteousness they had once a prospect of. Let not this be your case, but earnestly desire that your understanding may be fully opened into this holy highway which leads to the kingdom, and your eye be preserved single to God's honour, that you may be enabled so to run as to obtain the glorious crown of immortality.

Consider you have set out late in this important race, and therefore it behoves you to use great diligence in endeavouring to overcome your spiritual enemies; all of which will be manifested, as your eye is single, for then your “whole body will be full of light:” so that you will be preserved from entering into a league with such of the old inhabitants of your heart, as are appointed to utter destruction.

The Israelites were deceived by the appearance of the wily Gibeonites, thinking them to have come from a far country, when they were near neighbours; as many, for lack of cautious watching in the light, which makes manifest what is hurtful in its tendency, have been deceived, and united with those dispositions, in one shape or another, which were for judgement.

And it just presents further to say, Beware of that which is without the sacred limits of divine prescription. So will you be preserved from all the snares of a subtle enemy, who, so long as he is permitted to tempt us, can suit his baits to every station and situation of life, and to every stage of our religious experience; which manifests the propriety of our Saviour's precept, not only to one but to all of his disciples; “Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation.”

Catharine Phillips.

The 31st of this month I had a meeting at the house of a man lately convinced, in the parish of Breague; where some hundreds of people gathered, that we were obliged to hold it without doors. They generally behaved well, and some were much affected. It was a favoured opportunity, and I was truly thankful for Divine aid to discharge my duty therein.

The 13th of the ninth month, the circular yearly meeting for the western counties began.

It was held at Launceston, and was a large and favoured solemnity; and, although I did not think the ministry rose so high as I have known it in some of those general meetings, it appeared to be a serviceable opportunity, and the people seemed well satisfied therewith. I spent the remaining part of this year about home and was favoured in occasional services there amongst Friends and others. Upon considering the service wherein I have been engaged since I settled in Cornwall, I see cause for true thankfulness, having therein been owned by the heavenly Master: and although in regard to uniting with us as a people, much fruit has not appeared; the testimony of Truth seems to gain ground amongst the inhabitants, and some of our own Society, and others, are awakened and strengthened thereby; so that I trust I have not run or laboured in vain altogether. May the Lord preserve me humble and dependent upon himself, that whatsoever I am or do, it may be by his grace.

In the first month, 1779j our quarterly meeting at Austle was a memorable season of Divine love, wherein many states were ministered to, and many hearts tendered. The rebellious were warned, and I believe some of them saw the imminent danger of their states; but, alas! the prophet's complaint respecting Ephraim, etc. too well befits many visited minds. “Their righteousness is as a morning cloud, and as the early dew which soon passes away;” yet I trust the savour of love and life witnessed in this meeting rested sweetly upon some minds.

For some time after this meeting, my exercise for some of the members of our own Society was heavy, and I was livingly opened in several meetings, and private opportunities, agreeably to their states; so that whether the labour bestowed has its desired effect, or be as water spilt upon a stone, I hope to be clear respecting them: and great is the mercy of God in visiting and revisiting them.

The 1st of third month, I had a large good meeting at Helston, which many serious and religious people attended, and I believe were instructed and refreshed.

Copy of a letter to a young man from America:

To a young man, an American.

Respected friend,—I conclude this will meet you preparing to return to your native country; and I wish your mind may be impressed with a due sense of the mercies of God vouchsafed to you in this land, and with an awful inquiry whether you have so profited therein, as to return to your own, wiser and belter than you left it. I am assured that you have been favoured with a Divine visitation, intended to subdue your natural will, regulate your affections, and bound your pursuits after the acquisition of either interest, pleasures, or knowledge, merely terrestrial; and so to reduce the whole man, that your mind, being bent upon higher attainments than what would only gratify the natural will and desires, might become capable of enjoying the one only unmixed supreme good; and, being devoted to the service of its bounteous Creator and Benefactor through time, might participate with him in unchangeable happiness when it terminates. I entreat you to inquire how far this glorious end has been accomplished and do not slight that great salvation, which in infinite mercy has been offered you. I fear your views have been after that honour which is of men, and that the wisdom which will one day be manifested to be foolishness, has been preferred to that which is pure, and which therefore so recommends to the Lord's favour, as to make men his friends. He has favoured you with natural gifts, which, if sanctified by his refining Spirit, might render you useful in time. Consider how they have been employed, for be assured, you will one day see that, where much is given, much will be required, and that, “mighty men,” if they counteract the design of their creation, will be “mightily tormented” with pungent and unavailing remorse. Therefore prize the day of the Lord's visitation to your soul, and solemnly attend to the “reproofs of instruction,” as the alone way to true happiness, both in time and eternity.

As I intended consigning the inclosed to your care, an unexpected inclination arose thus to address you, and express my desire for your preservation and welfare every way. If you should be favoured to attain your native shore, you may perhaps have to remember my labour of love for you: and O! says my soul, may it, with that of others my fellow-labourers, not be bestowed in vain.

My love to the several branches of your family with whom I am acquainted. Your father's kindness in accompanying me and my dear companion Mary Peisley when travelling through America, is fresh in my remembrance. Remember me also to such other friends of my acquaintance, as may inquire for me, who am your real friend, Catharine Phillips.

—————

To B. H.—Yorkshire.

Dear friend,—Your affectionate salutation of the 7th ult. I received and read with a degree of satisfaction, as it evinced I lived in the remembrance of an absent friend. When spiritual sympathy is felt with each other, it strengthens the hope of our being continued in the holy membership of the living body of Christ.

Sometime before the receipt of yours, I had been closely tried, and, although I am favoured to know on whom to depend for succour and support, encouragement from my fellow-travellers Zion-ward, is truly acceptable. There are seasons, wherein I doubt not but it is a cordial to the most advanced; but as for me, I many times fear I am behind some who have not been called to stand forth so conspicuously in the front of the battle; but whose hidden life may be with Christ, in a greater degree than mine, or some others who have moved in an active sphere. Certainly to be called up into active service, is a token of Divine approbation; but if any servants who have thus been frequently distinguished, should measure themselves by the services they have been assisted to perform, they may and will centre in deception, respecting their real spiritual state; and may clothe themselves with the Lord's jewels, when they are not adorned with the truly beautiful covering of humility, and a fear of endeavouring to appear to be any thing but what they are through his grace. Thus self-consequence may get up, and if such are not watchful, it will get up, and occasion pain to the truly feeling, though less active members of the church. My sincere and earnest desire is, and indeed for a series of years has been, for preservation from it, and that I may constantly centre in my own littleness, yes nothingness: for indeed in my flesh dwells no good thing. All good, and the power of showing it forth, is of and from its own Divine source. Who are great, but those whom the Lord sees fit to dignify? All is the effect of his wisdom, power, and mercy: therefore to him be the praise, says my soul; and may I ever humbly confess before him, that I am nothing, nor can do any thing, but as he puts me forth.

Dear friend, the work of purification is a great and deep work. May we attend to it, and not seek great things to ourselves, either spiritually, naturally, or temporally, that we may be distinguished among men; but be concerned, that the inside-work of the temple may be completed; and the outside will not lack the ornaments Divine wisdom designed it; but we shall move and act in the church in pure gospel simplicity, which will ever tend to its edification.

I was glad to receive a late account that T. Colley and his companion were returned from their perilous voyage. I also hope that there may be some occasion to rejoice, that the Lord is visiting his people in your county (once distinguished for its worthies in Israel), because I hear there are several late appearances in the ministry among you. May the spirit of the departed Elijahs, so rest upon some of the present generation, that they may go forth in the same spirit and power wherein they acted; and become instrumental to turn the “hearts of the disobedient to the wisdom of the just.” A truly living baptizing ministry is much needed among us; but except the Lord in mercy favour us with such a ministry, silence in our solemn meetings is far preferable. Alas! few, very few indeed, of the present warriors appear to be thoroughly accoutred for the battle of the day. Some are essaying to go forth as in Saul's armour, the wisdom of men decorated with literature; but it will not do the Lord's work. Weapons despised by the worldly wise, are far more efficacious; and although the users of them may be despised also, they are chosen to confound the human wisdom of such, and, if they keep within the bounds of his appointment, will glorify his name.

I doubt not but that many of my friends in Yorkshire, will be pleased to know that I am better in health than when last in London. I had a long season of weakness after that journey, and am yet weak, compared to what I have been. Remember me affectionately to such of them, as you know will be pleased to receive that salutation; particularly to your brother and sister, and my cousin S. B. Your wife and self will receive the same.

From your affectionate friend,

Catharine Phillips.

Chapter IX.

Visits to Gloucestershire and Somersetshire—Attends the yearly meeting in London—Religious engagements on the way home—Visits meetings in Warioickshire, Worcesterhire, Shropshire, and Gloucestershire—Attends several circular yearly meetings—Meetings in Bedfordshire, and Devonshire—Yearly meeting in London—At Truro in Cornwall—Remarks on Oratorios—Death of her husband.

For some time I had entertained a prospect of visiting some meetings in Somersetshire and Gloucestershire, and paying a particular visit to the families of Friends in Herefordshire. I left home to accomplish this service, accompanied by my dear husband; and on the 13th of the third month 1779, we met our friend Lydia Hawksworth, who was concerned to accompany me therein, at Wellington. The 14th, being the first of the week, we attended Friends' meeting at Spiceland; and in the evening had a select opportunity with Friends at Wellington, My husband then proceeded to Bristol on business: we industriously pursued our concern, visiting many meetings that week; and on the 21st, first-day, were met by my husband and my brother James Payton, at Puddimore meeting. We went the same evening to Compton in Dorsetshire, to visit our valuable friends Jonah Thomson and his son; spent the next day with them; and in the evening had a meeting with their scholars and others of the family and many of the neighbours, in the school-room, which was a favoured season; and we proceeded to Sherborn meeting on the 24th. Here my husband and brother left us, and next morning we proceeded to Hollowtrow, had a meeting there in the afternoon, went the same night to Pensford, next day to a meeting at Bolton, from there to Chew Magna, and were at the first-day meeting held there on the 28th.

The 30th we had a meeting at Portshead, and crossed the Avon at Pill, were at King's Weston meeting on the 31st; from there went to those at Olveston and Thornbury, and from there to Worcester. In these meetings in the counties of Somerset and Gloucester, I was enabled to discharge my duty to my own humbling admiration, and the edification of many who attended them.

The quarterly meeting for the county of Worcester being held at Worcester, we attended it, and also two meetings with Friends of that city; and on the 7th of the fourth month, went to Bramyard in Herefordshire, where we were met by my brother Young and Thomas Waring of Leominster; who united with us in the intended visit to the families of Friends in that county, which we began at this place. In this laborious and important service we were Divinely assisted. My dear companion had a considerable and very acceptable share therein; which was generally the case in family visits, and private opportunities, although she was frequently silent in public meetings. She was peculiarly gifted for these private services, and when she did appear in public ministry, her service therein was very edifying, and acceptable to Friends. Having an intention to return to Bristol before the yearly meeting was held there, we pursued this service with diligence, and on the 24th of the fourth month, we paid our last visit.

My brother Young had accompanied us through the visit, but Thomas Waring left us at Almelly on the 18th, their company was acceptable and strengthening to us.

On the 25th (being first-day) we had a meeting at Shire Newton in Monmouthshire, which was attended by many of the Welch people, and the few Friends in the neighbourhood, and, I believe was an acceptable opportunity to them. In the evening we had a meeting with Mary Powel of Chepstow and some others. She was the only member of our Society residing in that town; where a meeting of Friends was never settled. Next morning, we proceeded to the New Passage, but the boat being gone a few minutes before we reached it, we were detained until the evening tide; but, through Divine mercy, we got safely over, and reached Bristol about ten o'clock the same night.

My husband staid with me at Bristol until the yearly meeting there was ended, which was large arid attended by many ministering Friends of this nation and America; yet a large share of the public labour in the ministry fell to my lot, at which I believe my brethren and sisters rejoiced; for I was assisted to minister in the demonstration of the Spirit and with power; and returned the praise due to Him who exalts and abases his servants, as he knows is most conducive to his honour, and to their preservation.

I staid at Bristol to attend the marriage of two Friends with whom I was acquainted; and then, accompanied by my husband, set out for London.

We attended a few meetings in our way, and reached London about a week before the yearly meeting, myself much spent with hard labour and exercise. I was enabled to attend the meetings in course, during the sitting of the yearly meeting; and after its conclusion, with my husband and friend Lydia Hawksworth, proceeded to Calne in Wiltshire, attended the meeting of Friends there in the morning of the first-day, and had a public meeting at Chippenham, appointed to begin at six in the evening.

The meeting was large, and was a favoured opportunity; the people not professing with us behaved with becoming seriousness, and some of them were visibly affected. It was long in gathering, which might occasion its being late before it concluded; yet my inclination being strong to go to Melksham that night, we proceeded there. Before we reached it, the family where we were to lodge were in bed, but the master of it, my relation Thomas Fowler, came down and received us with great kindness.

Next day my dear husband left us and went to Bristol and Swansea. I had a view of visiting some places in the neighbourhood; but my strength was exhausted too much to allow me to engage immediately upon service. In the next night I was much indisposed, and in the morning sent for an apothecary, who thought my disorder was the effects of a cold; but it proved a fever, which, with the weakness attendant thereon, confined me for some weeks with these my affectionate relations; whose tender care and generous treatment of me, both now and at all times, when my lot was cast under their hospitable roof, demands my grateful acknowledgement, both of their kindness, and that of my heavenly Father; whose mercy was at this time signally discovered in upholding my enfeebled frame until I came to Friends by whom I was so well nursed, and with whom my mind was so easy. My affectionate companion continued also with me, and tenderly assisted me until my fever went off. My husband returned to me; but his business calling him home, and my strength not being equal to so long a journey, he left me to the care of my friends. As my strength returned, my prospect of some service in the neighbourhood returned also, and I ventured to the meeting at Bradford upon a first-day; but my principal concern was to hold a public meeting at Trowbridge, in which town no one resided who professed with Friends. I went in weakness, accompanied by several Friends, and appeared to a Friend of London who casually met me there so emaciated, that when she returned home, she reported amongst Friends there, that it appeared to her my labours were nearly accomplished. We held a meeting in a large dining-room at the inn, which was attended by many attentive well-behaved people; and the testimony of Truth was exalted amongst them, to the praise of Him who strengthens for every service in which he engages his servants. I was that day made strong to declare of his wisdom and mercy, and preach the doctrines of his Son Jesus Christ; and returned to Melksham in peace, and with thankfulness for the assistance afforded in that memorable day's labour. After this meeting, I was easy to return home; so, accompanied by my companion and a Friend of Melksham, “I left that place; and got to a meeting held at Grenton in Somersetshire on first-day, which was attended by many of the country people, both of that place and its neighbourhood) and was a favoured opportunity.

There being a funeral at the public burying ground on the preceding evening, our friends Beaven, with whom we lodged, gave notice, at my request, of the meeting to the people who attended it, which occasioned it to be the larger.

In the afternoon we had a private opportunity with the Friends, and next day proceeded to Wellington, and from there towards Oakhampton; where we met my dear husband, to our mutual rejoicing and thankfulness, with whom we proceeded to our quarterly meeting held at Looe, and from there home, where we came in the early part of the seventh month. As I had not preserved any minutes of my movements since the yearly meeting at London, I could not insert dates.

The state of my health required rest, and I was favoured with it; and having the company of my dear friend Hawksworth, her attention was turned to assist in restoring my strength; and as she also was in need of rest, I hope she gained some advantage by accompanying me home; although our quiet was disturbed in the eighth month, by an alarm of the French and Spanish fleets being off” Falmouth Harbour.

What their design was could not be known, but there they lay for some days, the wind not permitting them to go up the channel; and as they did not attempt to land, it was conjectured that their hostile views were towards Plymouth, and the King's dock near that place. Soon after they had sailed up the Channel, being in our week-day meeting, with my mind retired to the Lord, under an exercise on account of the intended mischief, it run through it, “He sent forth lightnings and scattered them.” I think, as we returned home from meeting, the wind was rising, the sky soon lowered, and a terrible storm gathered and discharged itself, with fierce lightning, tremendous thunder, and violent rain; which continued more or less through great part of the night, and indeed the thunder until the next evening. The fleets were, by the time the storm began, got near Plymouth; and we heard that the commanders had deliberated about the business they had in view; but the Lord, who holds “the winds in his fists,” discharged against them his terrible artillery so powerfully, as to prevent their designs, and obliged them to sheer off from our coasts in a shattered state. O! what frequent occasions have Britons to “praise the Lord for his mercy,” and wonderful interference in their favour! but alas! though in words they acknowledge it, the generality of them are not concerned to make those returns which he is calling for; but continue in a course of conduct, and disposition of mind, which dares his righteous judgments: these will one day be poured forth upon the people of this highly favoured but ungrateful nation, unless they repent and turn from their manifold iniquity.

I choose here to mention a remark of a sensible inhabitant of the town of Helston, upon this signal and memorable storm, so favourable to this nation. He told me, that seeing it gathering, and having people at work on his harvest, he hastened to direct their labours. As he went, he made his observation on the wind, etc. and I think he said that such was the confusion of the elements, that he could not say from what point the wind blew; and he said in his mind, This is no natural storm:' and indeed it proved to be signally providential, and as such worthy of commemoration; as is also a circumstance which happened in the town of Falmouth. As soon as government had intelligence of the enemies lying in great force off that port, ammunition was hastened for the garrison there. The wagons halted in the market place, to which the sea comes up, from where the inhabitants fetch sea-water for some uses.

A woman coming up with a bucket of water at the instant the ammunition wagons stopped, observed that the axletree of one of them was on fire, and dashed her water upon it. As the fire was on the side next the sea, if she had not discovered it, it might have increased until it had blown up its dangerous loading; and there being also a quantity of gun-powder in that part of the town, the houses might have been much damaged, and some lives lost.

My dear friend Hawksworth left me in the latter end of this month, or early in the next; and I was allowed to stay at and about home for the remainder of this year.

In the early part of the year 1780, I attended several large meetings in Cornwall, held on account of marriages or funerals, which were signally honoured with the Divine presence. I also was at our quarterly meeting at Falmouth; and on the 3rd of the fifth month my husband and I left home to attend our annual solemnity in London. In our way we had meetings at several places, and called at Compton to pay our last visit to our beloved friend Jonah Thomson, who was near the close of an honourable life. We found his mind awfully collected, and waiting for his release from a pained body, in certain hope of his spirit's being admitted into the saints' rest, after having laboured many years in the work of the ministry.

In the younger part of my life, he had conducted himself towards me as a tender father; and in my more advanced years, as an affectionate friend. He had also a sincere regard to my husband, and as our affection was mutual, our interview and farewell were affecting.

The yearly meeting at London was large and favoured by the heavenly Master of the assemblies of his servants. From London, we went, accompanied by our friend Lydia Hawksworth, to a general meeting held annually at Weston in Buckinghamshire, and so to High Wycombe. My husband returned to London, and Lydia Hawksworth and myself proceeded to Reading, where we met a committee, who, by appointment of the yearly meeting, were going to visit the meetings for discipline in Bristol. We attended several meetings with them in our way to that city, where we arrived on the 1st of the sixth month.

Before I left Cornwall, I had informed Friends of our monthly meeting, that I was under an engagement of duty to attend the quarterly meeting for Oxfordshire to be held at Banbury, and to visit some meetings in Warwickshire, Worcestershire, Shropshire, and Gloucestershire, also to attend the' circular yearly meeting to be held at Hereford; wherewith they concurred. And my friend Lydia Hawksworth being given up to accompany me, I staid at and in the neighbourhood of Bristol, until the seventh month, to afford her time to prepare for the journey. We went to Worcester, and attended the meetings held there on the first and third days: and from there proceeded to Evesham and Alcester. Several of the town's people came to the meetings at Alcester, and I was favoured to preach the everlasting gospel to them. The same evening, we reached Eatington, were at the meeting there on the first-day, whereto many Friends from an adjacent meeting came, at my request, and I hope it was a profitable opportunity: we proceeded that evening to Banbury, and to the house of Edward Stone, whose wife was nearly related to me, and with her husband received and entertained us with affectionate kindness.

The quarterly meeting held at this place was a large and favoured solemnity; and many people not professing with us attended the meetings, to whom the gospel of life and salvation was preached in the demonstration of the Divine spirit. In the course of the meetings, a dangerous accident befel me. In the womens' meeting-room was a gallery for ministering Friends, wherein my companion, myself, and other Friends were seated. Upon my rising to step farther, to make room for more, the floor gave way, and I sunk with it; but I received but little hurt, which might be esteemed a singular mercy, considering how I was situated in the fall. Friends ought to be careful in examining these elevated seats in old meeting-houses. This was not the only time I have been in danger through the neglect of it.

From Banbury we went to a meeting at Redway, and to Warwick the 28th. We staid here with my dear sister Summerfield, until the 4th of the eighth month, when we went to Shipton, where the quarterly meeting for Worcestershire was held the next day, at which were many Friends of that county, who rejoiced to see me,' and we were favoured together in the Divine presence. On the 6th, we had a meeting at Long Compton, which, although small, was a favoured season. The same evening we had a meeting at Tredington at the house of our friend William Lambly, whose family was the only one of Friends residing in that village. His neighbours attended, but appeared so low in the knowledge of Divine truths, that it was difficult to minister to them so as to be understood.

On the 7th, we returned to Warwick, and the 9th, being the first of the week (accompanied by my sister), attended a large meeting of Friends and other professors of religion, held annually at Birkswell; and on the same evening went to Coventry. We had a meeting there the 11th, and in the remainder of the week had meetings at several places amongst Friends of Warwickshire; and on first-day, the 16th, were at a large meeting which is held annually at Atherston. There I met many Friends from several counties, amongst whom I had laboured and been conversant before my settling in Cornwall; and we were favoured together with the merciful visitation of Divine love and life. The 17th, we attended a monthly meeting for discipline held at Hartshill. Here I left my sister, who was so much indisposed as not to be able to accompany us to the before-mentioned meeting at Atherston.

On the 18th, we went to the neighbourhood of Birmingham. We attended the week-day meetings there in this week, and also those on the first-day, I hope to the edification of many present, and visited several of our friends; and on the 24th, were at a monthly meeting for discipline at Dudley. The 25th, we had a large and good meeting at Wolverhampton; and from there we went to Coalbrookdale, had a meeting there, and proceeding to the meetings of Shrewsbury, and the Bank, came back to Coalbrookdale meeting, first-day, the 29th.

The Lord's power and presence were evidently with us in our services in this quarter; and after a solemn opportunity in our friend Abiah Darby's family, at which some other Friends were present, we left it and returned to Dudley; and I visited Friends in that quarter no more. We staid with my dear brother until after the ensuing first-day, when the meetings were large; as has been usual, when I have visited that place, since my removal from it; my old neighbours pressing to the meetings, more generally than when I resided amongst them: and many times has the Divine power, and the testimony of Truth, been exalted; to the praise thereof, and the convincement of many of the truth of the doctrine preached, although but few have so “beheved unto righteousness,” as to make a public profession thereof.

Leaving Dudley, we had meetings at Stourbridge, Bewdley, and Bromsgrove: that at Bewdley did not tend to relieve my mind, being attended by very few of the town's people, to whom we suppose proper notice had not been given. On “the next first-day we attended a large meeting which is held annually at Redditch; and from there we went to Worcester, staid over the third-day's meeting there, and proceeded to Camden to the funeral of a Friend; then to a meeting at Stow in the Woold and to Cirencester, and attended the meetings there on the first-day, which was a day of memorable favour to some souls.

We visited the meetings of Nailworth, and paid a visit to my cousin M. Fowler, at Minchin Hampton; from which we went to Sodbury, had a meeting there, and proceeded to Bristol, where my dear husband was engaged in business: and although I saw I must return into Gloucestershire, I was pleased to be permitted to see him before his return into Cornwall. From Bristol we went to the meetings at Frenchay and Thornbury on first-day, and so to the quarterly meeting for Gloucestershire, held at Cheltenham. As it was the season for drinking the water of this place, many who were in it on that account, attended the public meeting, unto whom the testimony of Truth was declared. From Cheltenham we proceeded to Painswick, attended a large meeting, held on account of the funeral of a Friend, which was a favoured opportunity, and had also a meeting select with the Friends of that place. I had a desire to have a meeting at Gloucester with the people not professing with us, of which notice was given; and although it was not so large as I wished, I had some open service amongst those who attended and behaved seriously. We visited Friends at Tewksbury, and on the first-day, had an appointed meeting at Stoke Orchard, where formerly there had been an established meeting of Friends, returned to Tewksbury, and next day went to Worcester. From there my companion returned to Bristol, being desirous to spend a little time at home before the yearly meeting at Hereford.

On the next first-day, being the 10th of the ninth month, I attended a large, and I hope a serviceable, meeting at Stourport; which was appointed and attended by John Townsend of London, and Thomas Waring of Leominster; and was the first meeting which had been held by Friends in that place. My mind not being easy respecting Bewdley, I proposed to the before mentioned Friends, to accompany me in a meeting there; which they being willing to do, one was appointed to be held the next morning; and although it was not so large as I expected, it was a favoured season, and tended to the relief of my mind.

The 12th, John Townsend accompanied me to Droitwich, where I desired to have a meeting with the town's people, which proved a memorable season of Divine favour. The 13th, I went to Bramyard, and the 14th attended the monthly meeting at Leominster, and staid with my relations there until the 23rd. On the 21st, the marriage of my niece Catharine Young, with George C. Fox of Falmouth, was solemnized; and the meeting held upon the occasion was large, and the testimony of Truth was exalted therein, to the Lord's praise.

From Leominster I proceeded to Hereford, where I was met by my companion Lydia Hawksworth, and many other ministering Friends and others, assembled to attend the circular yearly meeting, which was a large, solemn, and to myself and many other Friends, humbling season, under the sense of the fresh extendings of Divine love and power towards Friends, and the people of other religious societies.

How frequently is the assent of the judgement given to the truths preached in our meetings, by many who attend them, who do not profess with us! But how few of these walk answerably to what they have been convinced is consistent with the holy dispensation of Christ! Alas! the cross appears too great to be taken up, even to gain an immortal crown.

But be it considered who it was that said, “He that takes not up his cross, and follows after me, is not worthy of me;” and also, “He that is ashamed of me, and of my doctrine, of him will I be ashamed before my Father and his holy angels.” It is not only the unfaithfulness of many who have been born and educated amongst us, but that of very many, who have been convinced of the truth of our religious principles, which prevents the increase of our numbers. There was a time when many people were weary of worshipping in the outward courts of religion, and could not content themselves with shadows of it, and were willing to embrace the cross, that they might obtain the substance; when many great and distinguished persons and characters, bore testimony to the Truth as it is professed by us, as they were thereto called of God; whose fight shone brightly, and very conspicuously through their great and numerous sufferings, for their “testimony of a good conscience towards Him and men.” The present time is a season of ease, and greater liberty to worship the Lord agreeably to the instruction of his pure Spirit; but wherein many of the people are willing to hear, but few are awfully inquiring “What is Truth,” with an earnest desire to know, and sincere intention to follow it. Pontius Pilate inquired, “What is Truth,” but did not wait for an answer from the Light of Truth. He was in part convinced of his power and purity, yet he delivered him up to the Jews to be crucified, lest his temporal interests should suffer, if he rescued him from their malice. And we read, “that the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends,” who had before been at variance with each other. Thus it has been, and is, with many who have been partly convinced what is Truth. Temporal interests and pleasures have been preferred to a possession in the Truth; and the joining with the world in persecuting Christ, to the confessing of him before men. The testimony of his servant is fulfilled in such; “whosoever will be a friend of the world, is the enemy of God.” These will one day see and lament their great loss.

May the Lord in his mercy rouse many of them to consider the things which will make for their peace with him, before they are forever hid from their eyes. I believe there will come a shaking time in these favoured nations, wherein the false rest of many will be disturbed, and the judgements of the Lord being in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteousness; and many will be gathered from the barren mountains of an empty profession of religion, and the desolate hills of formality, to sit under the teaching of Christ, manifested by his Spirit in their souls, and delight in the extendings of the wing of his love and power; whereby they will be solaced, and sheltered in this state of probation, and therefore sing salvation and strength thereto.

O! that those remaining under the name may be concerned to keep their lamps burnmg; that they may attract the notice of those who in that day will sincerely seek the way to Zion, saying, “let us be joined unto the Lord in an everlasting covenant;” that such may behold us, as a chosen people of God, abiding in our tents, under the direction of our Holy Captain, Christ Jesus: who raised us up to be a people, that should bear an uniform testimony to his pure everlasting Truth. He cleansed us from all the chaff and dross, which under a religious show, remained amongst the professors of faith in Him; as well as from all the fragments of the legal dispensation, which with its ordinances and ceremonies were appointed to pass away, when his pure spiritual dispensation of grace and truth should be introduced and established. He stripped us of that fragment of superstition wherewith the nominal Christian church was, and yet is in degree, clothed. He abolished the false faiths and false trusts whereon many had depended; and he clothed us with that true faith, which overcomes the world, and is productive of fruits fit for his holy kingdom. And will he allow us to become extinct as a peculiar family to himself? No, verily. Although many of us are as “degenerate plants of a strange vine unto Him;” he will return and visit them, and some of these will be ingrafted into him; and others will be brought from far, to seek an inheritance amongst them; and the Most High will acknowledge them, as “the branches of his planting, the work of his hands, in whom he will be glorified.”

After taking an affectionate farewell of my friends at Hereford, my companion and I went to Ross, had a meeting there, and to Bristol, where I left her; and Ann Byrd accompanied me to Wellington. We staid the morning meeting there on the first-day, and went in the afternoon to Cllumpton; had a religious opportunity with the Friends living there in the evening, and early next morning went for Exeter; in hope of getting there in time to go forward with the Friends from that place to the quarterly meeting at Kingsbridge; but they were gone, and we had to travel a lonely and long day's journey, which was not accomplished without diflSculty, and some danger, it being late at night before we got to Kingsbridge.

Had not a young woman whom we met at Totness, taken us into the chaise which she had hired, there was little probability of getting there that night; as no other chaise was to be had in the town, and the fleet lying in Torbay, the officers were revelling at the inn; so that we should have had but an uncomfortable time amongst them. From Kingsbridge, I went to Plymouth, where I met my dear husband; and after a meeting there, we proceeded home, where we arrived the 9th of the tenth month.

I have the more particularly noted my proceedings in this journey, because it was amongst my friends and others who had heretofore so largely shared my labours: and this being the last visit which I paid them so generally, it appeared to me singular, that I should fall in with so many quarterly and annual meetings; which afforded us an opportunity of seeing each other more generally and repeatedly than we should have done, had it not so happened: and be it commemorated with humble thankfulness to the merciful Fountain of blessings, that it was a season of signal favour to many of our spirits.

I had been laboriously exercised for more than five months in this journey, and except in attending our monthly and quarterly meeting, and occasional services about home, I was excused from travelling more in this year. Indeed, I had for some time, found my nature sinking under the load of exercises it had long sustained; so that I did not go through services assigned me without many painful feelings, but He who employed, supported me, to the praise of his ever worthy Name.

In the spring of the year 1781, I wrote my brother Young to the following import:— “My mind is so closed in regard to future prospects of duty, that I am ready to conclude some family affliction may prevent my moving far from home soon.” In this I was not mistaken; for soon after I wrote that letter I was seized with a cold, the effects whereof became alarming; and after its load was removed from my lungs, it fell upon my joints, which have gradually stiffened, and baffled all medical application; so that I am become an entire cripple, and my fingers are so contracted that my being able to use my pen is admirable to my friends. But although this is ultimately the consequence, yet I have been enabled to struggle on for several years.

I was not so recovered as to appear equal to the fatigue of attending the yearly meeting at London this year; and my husband also was easy to abide at home, where he was so dangerously attacked with a quinsy, that it appeared he very narrowly escaped death. His son was from home, and the weight of his critical situation, together with the attention which was due to him, bore heavily upon my weak body and spirits, and but that our cousin Frances James, now Fox, was then with us, I know not how I should have sustained my fatigues. She very tenderly and assiduously attended upon my husband, and assisted me in this season of affliction; which I note with thankfulness to that good Hand which furnished us with her help. My husband's first wife was her mother's sister, and she being left an infant orphan, my husband, with other relations, had cared for her, and a mutual affection subsisted; so that her services were the more willingly lent, and pleasingly accepted.

When my husband's disorder was turned, he recovered strength but slowly, and I continued weak, yet I could not be easy to omit attending the circular yearly meeting, which was this year held at South Molton in Devonshire. My husband's health not admitting of his accompanying me, my niece Fox was my only companion; but being in our own chaise we got along the more easily and in safety to South Molton, where we hoped to have met my brothers Payton and Young; but in this we were afflictingly disappointed. My brother's servant brought us intelligence, that his master and my brother Young had come within one stage of Bristol, where my brother Young was laid up extremely ill; and of consequence my brother Payton was detained with him. This was afflicting intelligence to us both; my niece, his daughter, was sunk too low to proceed forward alone; and until the meeting closed, no Friend could be expected to accompany her, when my friend Hawksworth took her under her care. She found her father extremely ill, and his case appeared for some time very dangerous, yet it pleased Providence to restore him; but he was confined some weeks at the inn, before it appeared safe for him to move forwards.

The people of South Molton very kindly welcomed Friends amongst them, and freely opened their houses to receive such as could not be accommodated with lodgings at the inns. My friend Hawksworth and myself preferred lodging at a private house, as our inn was likely to be very full of company; and as we went to see a room at a considerable distance, a young clergyman joined us, and appeared to interest himself in our being well accommodated.

He told us the people of the town were generally moderate and civil, and seemed pleased that the meeting was appointed there. We were kindly lodged near the inn.

The meeting was very large, and the people behaved soberly: indeed many of them seemed prepared to receive, or at least hear, the testimony of Truth; and the power of it so prevailed in the meeting as to bind down the spirits of others, who might attend from no better motive than curiosity. The spring of gospel ministry ran freely, and I, though so weak, was enabled to take a large share in the labour. Friends were comforted together, and the faithful amongst them rejoiced in perceiving the extendings of the love of God, both towards the members of our own Society, and those of other religious professions; many of whose hearts were affected under the testimony delivered in the meetings.

I returned directly home, my friend A. Price accompanying me. Here, and in the county, I continued for the winter, in a weak state of health, and my dear husband tender, but mostly cheerful, which was his natural disposition.

I do not know that I have enjoyed one day's health since the spring of this year, which, as I foresaw, was a year attended with much family affliction, wherein our son Richard Phillips had a share before it terminated.

In the year 1782, I attended the Welch yearly meeting, which was held at Bridgenorth. My husband accompanied me to Bristol, and Lydia Hawksworth went with me to Bridgenorth. We went direct, only called and staid a short time with my brother, and returned to the yearly meeting at Bristol, and from there to London.

When I went from Bristol to Bridgenorth, my husband went to Swansea, and met me in London, to attend the yearly meeting there, A general epidemic cold reigned during the sitting of the yearly meeting. Many Friends were seized with it, but we were favoured to escape it, until much of the service of the meetings was over. We were both much indisposed, which detained us some time in London; and when we were able to travel, we returned with our friend Lydia Hawksworth to Bristol, and from there home. We recovered strength to attend the circular yearly meeting, which was held at Tamworth in the ninth month.

My weakness and contraction in my joints increasing, my husband consulted Dr. Ludlow, a physician of note of Bristol, upon the case, who ordered me medicine to take on the journey, which, being of an invigorating quality, I thought helped to strengthen me to get through the fatigue of the journey, and the exercise of the meeting; although the principal help in the course of the labour assigned me therein must be attributed to the Lord's power, which is manifested in the weakness of his servants. The meeting was large, both of Friends and those of other societies, and crowned with the Divine presence. The testimony of Truth was exalted, and faithful Friends were comforted, in the sense of the continued extendings of the heavenly Father's love to the various states of the members of our own Society, as well as to other professors of religion. Before the meeting was opened I had dislocated my left elbow, by a fall down a steep and long flight of stairs, and was obliged to carry my arm in a sling; although I had to take so considerable a share of active labour through the course of the meetings.

After their conclusion, we attended a meeting at Birmingham, then spent a short time at Dudley, with my brother, and returned to Bristol, where we again consulted Dr. Ludlow; who advised me to try the effect of electricity on my contracted joints. After I had continued some time under that operation, he ordered me to Bath, to try the effect of pumping upon them, at the same time continuing the medicines he had prescribed. But all was without the desired effect; and indeed I believe the Doctor had but little. hope in my case, for he intimated that I might probably become an entire cripple, and live many years in that state; which has been my case.

1783.—My husband accompanied me to the yearly meeting at London. Before I left home, I had informed my friends that I was engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich, which succeeded that at London; and had obtained a certificate of their unity with me therein; and my friend Lydia Hawksworth being under the like concern, we left Bristol on the 28th of the fifth month, accompanied by our friend Mary Were of Wellington. We proceeded to Melksham and Salisbury, where we left Mary Were, and went to Poole, attended the meetings there on first-day, 1st of the sixth month, and the 2nd, met Mary Were at Ringwood, attended the monthly meeting there, and proceeded to Rumsey, from there to Alton, attended the week-day meeting there on the 4th, and went to Godalming, and the 5th to London. On this day we intended to have fallen in with the week-day meeting at Esher; but there being a funeral of a Friend at Kingston, most of the Friends of Esher were gone to attend it; so we pressed on, and got to the meeting a little after the time appointed; and I hope it was well we were there. We attended the quarterly meeting, and proceeded on our journey, taking meetings in our way to the before-mentioned yearly meetings.

We also visited almost all the meetings in Norfolk, then passed into Cambridgeshire and the Isle of Ely, visiting the meetings therein, from there into Essex, and after visiting several meetings which I had not before attended in that county, turned back through Cambridgeshire to Huntingdon, In this journey I sustained much labour both in body and spirit, which was the more painful from my increased and increasing weakness; which rendered it probable, as indeed it proved, that this would be the last visit I should pay to Friends of those parts; as it was also the first I had paid to many of the meetings which we attended. I was however thankful that the good Shepherd influenced our minds to visit so many of his sheep in those counties, unto whom our spirits were united in gospel sympathy; and we had also to bear the burden of the spirits of formal professors, to whom the alarm was sounded, to awake out of sleep. I had some public meetings in this journey to my satisfaction, and I hope to the edification of many people attending them. One of them was held at Cambridge; which I hope was serviceable, although I was not favoured to rise in the exercise of the Divine gift bestowed upon me, to that height I did when in that town many years ago.

That was indeed a singular time, and answered a singular end, which was to convince a man who had contemned women's ministry in Christ's church, of its weight, efficacy, and consistency with the gospel dispensation. The same man, who did not live in the town, was invited to attend this meeting, and he might therein hear gospel truths published, and treated upon in a more argumentative way, than it was common for me to be engaged in. The All-wise employer of true gospel ministers knows how to direct his servants, both as to the matter, and the manner wherein he intends it should be communicated to the people. I have admired his wisdom and condescension therein, when without forethought my speech has been accommodated to the capacities of those to whom it was directed. To such as were illiterate and ignorant, I have spoken in very low terms; and to those of more understanding, in such as answered its level; while to the learned, and those of superior natural abilities, I might say with the. prophet, “The Lord God has given me the tongue of the learned;” although I had it not by education. I have not lacked eloquence of speech, or strength of argument, wherein to convey and enforce the doctrines given me preach; of which I could say, as my Lord and Master did, “My doctrines are not mine, but his who sent me:” and his love, life, and power, have accompanied them, to the stopping of the mouths of gainsayers, and convincing of the understandings of many, of the rectitude and efficacy of “the Truth as it is in Christ Jesus.” the depth and excellency of true gospel ministry! The Lord's prophet in the prospect of it might well exclaim, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who bring good tidings, who publish peace, who publish salvation, who say unto Zion, Your God reigns!” These are not made so by human or literary acquirements; but “the Spirit from on high being poured upon them,” under its holy humbling influence, they are enabled to minister, and “compare spiritual things with spiritual,” or elucidate them by natural things, as occasion may require, without forecast or premeditation; for they speak extempore, as the Spirit gives utterance. When the ministry in the general thus returns to its original dignity and simplicity, an education at colleges will not be sought to qualify for it. No, those who are accoutred for the service of Him “who spoke as never man spake,” must be educated in his school, and disciplined by his wisdom; whereby they are made able ministers of the new testament, not of the letter, but of the spirit; for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life.

Thus have I, with many of my fellow-labourers, been assisted to minister in the gospel of Christ; and now in the close of a laborious day's work, I may commemorate the mercy, power, and wisdom of Him who chooses whom he pleases for the various offices in his church.

He appoints, of both male and female, “some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ; until his members come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ; and may grow up into him in all things who is the Head, from whom the whole body filly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplies, according to its effectual working in the measure of every part, makes increase of the body, unto the edifying of itself in love.” Then, there is the highest rejoicing in him the heavenly Teacher, who fulfils his gracious promise, both to those who minister under him, and to those who are not called to this awful service, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world!"

Unto him all true gospel ministers direct the people, and endeavour to settle them under the teaching of his pure Spirit, These disclaim the least degree of ability to labour availingly in his service, except what flows from him, the fountain of Divine power, love, and life; and, after they have done and suffered what he assigns them, sit down in the acknowledgement, that “what they are, they are through his grace;” and thanking him that they have not received his grace in vain, humbly confess they have done but their duty. Thus from early youth, have I travelled and laboured, that the saving knowledge of God may increase, through experience of the prevalence of the power of his Son; whereby the true believers in him become crucified to the world and the world unto them; and being thus dead, are raised by him in newness of life, to the praise and glory of God. Freely I have received the knowledge of salvation through the sanctifying operation of the Spirit of Christ; and freely have I testified thereof, and of God's universal love through his Son to mankind: for he would have none to perish, but that all should be saved, and attain to the knowledge of his Truth.

My views, with those of others my fellow-labourers in the ministry, have, in regard to ourselves, been simply to obtain peace with God through an honest discharge of our duty; and in respect to those unto whom we have freely ministered, that they might be turned from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God; and be favoured with the experience of the remission of sins, and obtaining a fixed inheritance amongst all those who are sanctified. And we are not afraid to say, that the love of Christ has constrained us to minister, unmixed with any temporal interested motive, or view of reward. Through that love, we have been made willing to spend our temporal substance, as well as our strength of body and of faculties, and to suffer many hardships; yes, to leave what was dearest to us in nature, and be accounted fools by the wise and prudent of this world; some of whom have poured upon us contempt, but who professing themselves to be wise, have manifested their foolishness; and by speaking evil of what they knew not, have evidently been wise in their own conceits.

As to us, however we may have been favoured by the Lord, who has accounted us worthy to have a part in this ministry, and has at seasons clothed us as with a royal robe, to the astonishment of even those who have had us in derision; all boasting is excluded, by the pure humbling law of faith in Christ, “the wisdom and power of God,” and we confess with his primitive ministers, that we have nothing of our own to boast of but infirmities, nor have we aught to glory in but his grace to help us; through which we have been rendered equal to the arduous tasks assigned us; and willing to turn from prospects the most pleasing to the natural mind, and to endure crosses, tribulations, and the contempt of men, for his sake, who so loved us as to die for us; and has mercifully called us by his grace, to become heirs with him in the kingdom of his Father: and having done all, we have nothing to trust in but the mercy of God, manifested in and through him; and under a sense that all we can do to promote his honour is but little, and that little communicated by his strength, this is ultimately the language of our spirits; Not unto us, O Lord! not unto us, but unto your ever worthy name, or power, be glory forever! Amen.

From Cambridge, one of the seats of learning, I wish I could say of piety, we proceeded to visit some other meetings in this quarter, and coming to Ives, attended the funeral of Samuel Abbot, an elder of good report. The meeting held upon the occasion was extremely crowded, and many of the principal inhabitants of the town and neighbourhood attended it. It was a season of awful solemnity, wherein the tide of gospel ministry rose high, even to the overflowing the mounds of opposition; and I believe the people were so humbled, that many of them could join us in supplication and praise to the Lord, who “is glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, working wonders.” Hence we went (as before hinted) to Huntingdon, our friend John Abbot, son to the friend whose funeral we had attended, accompanying us. From Huntingdon we proceeded to Ampthill in Bedfordshire; and in our way passed through Potton, intending, if it was convenient, to lodge in that town, with one professing with us. But alas! when we came there, we found the town, which the day before, had been, it was said, one of the prettiest in the county, in ruins. A terrible fire had raged all night, and was not then in some places quite extinguished. Almost the whole of a principal street, through which we walked (not without fear lest the chimneys, or some other parts of the brick or stone-work left standing, should fall upon us), and most of the houses in the market-place, were consumed. The fire stopped at the next house to that which our friend had inhabited.

He had time to get his goods out, but had left them, and with his wife was gone to another town where they had relations, and through which we had to pass, and where, at an inn, we lodged at night, our friend Abbot accompanying us. The view of Potton and its inhabitants was truly pitiable: the goods of the sufferers were scattered about round the town in the fields, and some were watching them. The countenances of some whom we saw in the streets were deeply marked with grief; and the principal ovens being destroyed, bread was to be fetched from a town some miles distant.

Our friend John Abbot was so touched with the countenance of one poor woman, that after passing her, he turned back, and gave her something handsome; but she probably knew not where to buy victuals if she needed it. The principal inns being burned down or greatly injured, we stopped at the house of an acquaintance of his, in a part of the town which had escaped the fire, who readily gave us some refreshment; and in return, we left with him, towards the present relief of the sufferers, so much as excited his thankfulness. The next morning we visited our friends who had fled from Potton, at their relation's; and had a solemn religious opportunity with them and others present; and proceeding to Ampthill, attended the first-day's meetings there. From Ampthill, John Abbot returned home, and we went pretty directly to Melksham, appointing some meetings in our way there. Before I came there my strength was extremely exhausted, and having a concern to attend the circular yearly meeting to be held at Frome in Somersetshire, it appeared necessary for me previously to take a little rest. We therefore staid at Melksham with my affectionate relations Elizabeth Fowler and her son and daughter, her husband being now dead. At Frome, I met with my dear brother James Payton, and many of my relations and friends, and the Lord favoured us together with his presence. The meetings were large, solemn, and eminently crowned with divine life and power, wherein the gospel was preached by several ministers. Nicholas Wain, from Pennsylvania, attended this meeting, and had acceptable service therein.

I went directly home; and in my way had a favoured meeting with Friends and many others of the inhabitants of Exeter. My niece Fox accompanied me from Frome to Truro, where my dear husband met me, to our mutual thankfulness. I do not recollect any thing more worth remarking in the remainder of this year, wherein I continued weak, yet attended services about home as they occurred.

In the spring of the year 1784, my dear husband was much indisposed, and from that time was frequently afflicted with a giddiness in his head; yet he recovered so far as to attend the yearly meeting at London, and I accompanied him in much weakness; yet I had cause to be humbly thankful for the Divine aid vouchsafed to labour, although I was unable to attend all the meetings which were held in the course of that solemnity.

From London we went to Bristol, where my husband had business; and as I had no inclination to stay in that city, proceeded in company with M. and A. Moon, to Wellington. From there I was accompanied by my dear friend Mary Were to William Byrd's at Uffculm; at whose house we had a favoured meeting with the town's people, and returned to Wellington; where I waited, until my husband came to me. I was strongly impressed with a concern to pay a visit once more to the few professing Truth in the north side of Devonshire, as well as to hold some public meetings in some of the towns which I had heretofore visited.

My husband knew of my having this prospect, but when he came to me at Wellington, and saw how poorly I was, he almost feared for me, and would have been pleased if I had been easy to accompany him directly home.

This however not being the case, we went on the first-day to Friends meeting at Spiceland, which was attended by a pretty many sober people, not professing with us; and the Master of our assemblies favoured with suitable doctrine and counsel, so that the truly righteous rejoiced together; and under the sense of the arm of the Lord being extended to help in the~ seasons of weakness, we proceeded from this meeting to South Molton; and our friends Nicholas and Mary Were, and William and Ann Byrd, accompanied us; as did also Thomas Melhuish of Taunton. We appointed a meeting to be held there the next morning; but the weather proving very wet, there was some doubt how it would be attended; however, it was pretty large, and a solemn instructive season.

No one professing with us lived in this town, nor had any meeting been appointed there since the circular meeting was held there in 1781. But the remembrance and savour of that solemnity might continue long upon the minds of religious persons.

We went that evening to Barnstaple, except T. Melhuish, who returned home, and next day had a meeting there in the assembly-room, which was large, solemn, and highly favoured with the Divine power and presence. I was wonderfully assisted to publish gospel truths, “in the demonstration of the Spirit, and with power;” and it appeared that many who heard, understood and were affected, amongst whom were some of the higher rank. O! that such heavenly visitations might produce fruits of righteousness answerable to the labour bestowed; but alas! they are too frequently like water spilled upon a stone, which although it wets the surface, does not change the obdurate unfruitful nature of the stone; and the rain which has descended upon it, is so quickly dried up, that there remains no evidence of its having been watered.

Indeed the stone is, agreeable to its nature, unfruitful, and must remain so. But what said the apostle unto those whose hearts were like ground, which, although it was often watered, brought forth nothing more profitable than briers and thorns, “It is nigh unto cursing, whose end is to be burned.” It is extremely dangerous trifling with the Lord's merciful visitation to the soul, as time is uncertain: therefore those who hear, have need to be concerned to obey the call of God to a renovation of mind and manners, that their souls may live.

From Barnstaple, we went to Great Torrington, and had a large and I hope serviceable meeting there, although not so distinguishedly favoured as that of Barnstaple had been. My dear friends A. Byrd and M. Were had acceptable service in the before-mentioned meeting; as well as in ministering to the few Friends who were scattered about the country, who met us at one place or other; and we had private religious opportunities with them, so that they were generally visited. I was favoured with much freedom to speak to them in the love of Christ, and therein to take my farewell of them; for this proved to be my last visit. There were never many Friends settled on the north side of Devonshire. I know not of a meetinghouse having been built in any town I have visited there; yet a few, some of them having been gathered from other professions of religion, were scattered about in this quarter, and held meetings at their houses.

W. Byrd and his wife left us at Torrington; but Nicholas Were and his wife concluded to accompany us to Hatherly, twelve miles farther, where I had a desire to have a meeting and their being so disposed proved very serviceable to us.

There having been a. large fair for cattle the day before we came to Hatherly, and the farmers scarcely all gone from the place, we found the inn in such disorder as to render it doubtful how we should lodge. However, the landlady got clean linen, and our friends Were and ourselves got lodging; but some men Friends who met us from Exon, were obliged to shift for themselves as well as they could; and a young woman who accompanied them was provided for with us. The town was small, and in such a hurry, that it appeared a poor time to get a meeting. The weather was also very wet on this and the next day; but some of the town's people being informed of our view in coming, interested themselves in procuring us a meeting place, and we were furnished with one as commodious as we could expect. Many assisted to seat a part of it; and the weather continuing wet, prevented some of the inhabitants from going to their labour, so that I know not but our meeting was the larger through that circumstance. The people behaved well, many were content to stand, and we were favoured with a solemn meeting amongst them.

No meeting had been held in this place for very many years; so that most of our auditors appeared ignorant of our religious principles and manner of worship; but our visit was received with expressions of pleasure and gratitude by some, and we left the place with thankful hearts, each of us setting our faces homeward the same evening. My health continued declining, and my husband's complaint of giddiness returned pretty frequently. We did not go far from home for the remainder of this year.

In 1785, my husband was inclined to attend the yearly meeting at London, and desirous of my accompanying him. I was so weighed down with painful sensations, and my joints so much contracted, and he so subject to the giddiness in his head, that I suggested to him the propriety of our considering whether it was safe for us to venture upon such a journey: to which he replied, that his mind was strongly drawn to the yearly meeting, and said, that it would be the last he should attend. In our way thereto we were at the meeting of Bridport on the first-day; and I appointed a meeting at Andover, which was large, and eminently favoured with the Divine power and presence.

Samuel Emlen and George Dillwyn, both of Philadelphia, attended this meeting; but the principal share of the ministry rested upon me: indeed I had long had a view to a meeting in this town, and this proved to be the last time I passed through it. When we reached London, I was in a very weak state, but was enabled to attend the meetings in their course. At the yearly meeting in the preceding year, our men Friends had weightily considered the state of our women's yearly meeting; and it appearing that it might become of more general service, if the queries for women Friends, which are answered from their monthly to their quarterly meetings, were also answered from the quarterly to the yearly meeting of women, they sent a minute to the quarterly and monthly meetings to that import; and this year answers were sent from some quarterly meetings, and women Friends attended as representatives.

But it being a new thing, and the propriety or necessity of it not fully understood by all our women Friends, an epistle was written, setting forth the rise and use of the discipline established amongst us, and encouraging women Friends to attend to their share of it. As mothers of children and mistresses of families, they have an extensive service to attend to, and ought to be concerned so to discipline their families, as to be able to answer the several queries relative to their situation.

My mind being drawn to visit the quarterly meeting of Hertfordshire, I intimated it to my friend Elizabeth Talwyn of Bromley, who kindly took me and my dear companion Lydia Hawksworth thereto in her coach; and this was my farewell visit to Friends there. As I knew that my husband as well as myself wished to leave London as soon as we could with ease of mind, I requested that notice might be sent to the several meetings near to that of Chorley Wood, that I hoped to be there on the next first-day, and should be pleased to see as many as could meet me there. The meeting-house was pretty full, it was a favoured season, and the last meeting I had in that part of the kingdom. That night we lodged with our friend Robert Eeles near Amersham, by whom and his kind wife I had several times been affectionately entertained. Next day we reached Banbury, had a meeting with Friends there, on the next morning, and after taking an affectionate leave of my near relation S. Stone, we proceeded that night to Warwick. My sister received us affectionately, though not without concern to see me so much enfeebled.

My joints were so contracted that it was become difficult for me to walk; and throughout this journey I was assisted in dressing; and my inward weakness was also very apparent, so that it appeared probable that this might be our last interview. I attended one meeting with Friends at Warwick, wherein the Divine spring of gospel ministry was opened to the refreshment of religious minds; and, after taking my last personal farewell of my dear sister, we went to Coventry, had an evening meeting there, which was pretty generally attended by Friends and some intelligent people not professing with us; and the Lord favoured us together in a memorable degree. The subjects given me to speak upon, were the awfulness and importance of passing through time, considering the consequences depending thereupon, and the solemnity of passing out of it, even to the best of men. For although such might be favoured with a well-grounded hope of participating in “the inheritance which is undefiled and fades not away;” and might rejoice at the approach of the hour of release from the pains and solicitudes attendant in this probationary state; it was a season, wherein, from the consideration of the purity of Christ's kingdom, they might think it needful to examine whether their spirits were so clean, as to be meet for admittance thereinto. But to the wicked it was a terrible hour. Many striking remarks, directed to several states, were given me to make; and I was favoured to deliver them in concise, yet strong terms, to the affecting the minds of many present: and thus, taking leave of that city, we proceeded next day to Birmingham—attended the first-day meeting there, and from there to Dudley.

We staid a few days with my brother attended one meeting there, and another at Stourbridge, afterwards went to Worcester, and were at the first-day meetings there.

As my case appeared alarming, and some of my friends advised my making trial of Buxton water, my husband, when we were at Birmingham, took the advice of a physician of note, who did not choose to prescribe for me, nor encourage my going to Buxton; but advised our calling at Bath, but cautioned me against drinking the waters, or bathing, without taking further advice there: so taking leave of our brother James Payton and Friends at Worcester, we proceeded directly to Bath. The advice I there had was to return home, drink the Bath water there, and pursue, the course of medicine prescribed.

The weather was then too hot for me either to bathe, or drink the water there, but it was left to further consideration whether I should return there in the fall. Weak as I was, I had two meetings at Bath; in one of which I had a strong and clear testimony directed to a state, which in youth had been Divinely visited, and made some advances in the path of self-denial; but in more advanced age, had sought after worldly wisdom and knowledge, and the friendship of those in that spirit, and had lost the heavenly dew of youth. There was a person in the state described, in the meeting, who was much affected, and died in a short time. How does Divine mercy follow the backsliders from his holy commandment, with the gracious call of “Turn you, why will you die?"

From Bath we went to Bristol, where my husband had business, and where I left him, and went to John Hipsley's at Congersbury—was at the meeting of Claverham on the first-day, and returning to Congersbury, staid there until my husband's business permitted him to return home: to which we went directly, myself in a feeble state, but my husband appeared to be as well as when we left it.

After our return from London, my husband's time and attention were very much engrossed by business, relative to the mining interests in this county. Some alteration in the course of the trade appeared necessary, and as he had from his youth been engaged in the copper trade, and was well acquainted with the state of it, both in the past and present times, much regard was paid to his judgement, by many who attended at the meetings held on the occasion: and his solicitude for its settlement to the advantage of the labouring miners, as well as for allowing the adventurers, and others engaged in the trade, a prospect of a reasonable profit, was such, that under the continued exertion of his faculties for several weeks, his strength evidently declined.

The circular yearly meeting falling this year in Cornwall, it had been at our spring quarterly meeting appointed to be held at Truro, the 7th, 8th and 9th of the eighth month, which was several weeks earlier than it was customary to hold that meeting. This had occasioned some demur in the minds of some Friends, who doubted whether those of the distant counties might be so generally at liberty to attend it, as if it should be held in its usual course; and some Friends gave a preference to another town for the meeting. But my husband having attentively considered when and where to fix this important solemnity, under a concern that the All-wise Director would deign to influence the minds of Friends therein, was steady in his judgement that both the time and place proposed were right: and the event showed that he was not mistaken. He with other Friends were engaged in preparing accommodation for this meeting, and the town's people were very ready to assist. A large booth was erected to hold it in, and other places were procured, if that should not be sufficient to contain the people.

I was yet in a feeble state, and as it appeared to me improbable that the meeting would be attended by so many ministers and Friends of religious weight, from the distant counties constituting it, and other parts of the nation, as in some past years, my spirit was weighed down under a sense of the great importance of the service, and the disproportion of my natural strength to the labour of so large meetings.

My faith was indeed ready to fail; but I cried unto the Lord, in the language of Samson, if the testimony of His Truth might but be exalted through me as an instrument, “let me die,” if it be your will, in this great effort to overcome the Philistine nature in the people: and this proved to be the last of those general meetings which I attended. In the night before we went to Truro, my dear husband was so much indisposed with the giddiness in his head, that he proposed to me to go to Truro, and leave him to take an emetic, which he hoped might ease his head, and to come to me the next morning.

I was reluctant to leave him behind me, and it was well I did not, as the straining to vomit would probably have produced instant death. He grew better towards mid-day, and accompanied me to Truro, where we met with many of our friends, and he regained his wonted cheerfulness and activity, and was very serviceable during the course of the meetings, in regulating the holding of them, settling the people, and taking share in the care that nothing might happen amongst our young people at the several inns, which might tend to shade the testimony of that pure Truth, which we met to propagate, from very distant parts of the nation.

The concourse of people, especially of those not professing with us, was very great, and not a few of them of the higher rank. Many came far to attend the meetings, and behaved with becoming decency, consistently with so solemn an occasion. The booth, though as large as a good voice could well extend over to be distinctly heard, would not nearly contain the people; so that Friends were obliged to hold a meeting in the afternoons of the 7th and 8th in another place.

This consequently tended to divide the ministers to the several meetings, and, as I had foreseen, much of the service of the meetings in the booth devolved upon me; yet not so, but that some other ministers had an acceptable share therein. The testimony of Truth was largely and freely declared, and arose in its native dignity and clearness; so that very many not professing with us assented to the truths preached. The public meetings concluded on the 9th before dinner, under the overshadowing wing of Divine love, life, and power.

The minds of many Friends were comfortably impressed with a sense of the continued extendings of the heavenly Shepherd's care over us as a religious Society; as well as of his condescension in causing his gospel call to go forth amongst others, and they turned their faces homeward in the afternoon, in humble thankfulness.

Here I may observe, as it has occurred to me when attending those large general meetings, how different in their nature and tendency these meetings are, to those which are appointed by professing Christians for amusement, wherein there is much noisy mirth, and unchristian jollity: and if in some of them, the entertainments, in one part of the day, have an outward and pompous show of religion, under the vain and false pretence of praising God with the voice, accompanied with instruments of music, in the repetition of some of the most sublime and instructive parts of scripture; in another part of it, the Christian name is shamefully dishonoured, by the amusements, which succeed what they call their sacred oratorios. I have been shocked in the consideration, of the expressions of holy men of God, who penned them as the Holy Spirit dictated them, and some awful instructive historical parts of scripture, becoming prostituted to the purpose of amusement; and furnishing occasion for many nominal Christians to assemble, to gratify their inclinations to pride, vanity and pompous appearances, as well as in some instances, the practising of gross wickedness: insomuch, that it may be said with truth, the Lord of purity abhors their religious mockery, and their seemingly solemn meetings are iniquity; and as such, an abomination in His holy eyes, who cannot be imposed upon by specious pretences, nor bribed by donations given for distressed objects, to withhold his righteous judgements; which will assuredly be executed, in their appointed season, on “all the proud, and those who work wickedness.” How different to these, I say again and without ostentation, are the meetings, of which in the course of these memoirs I have so frequently given an account! whereto many Friends resort, from very distant places and at a very considerable expense, with a view to the edifying of others by the pure doctrines which may be freely preached in their public assemblies, and by a conduct consistent with Christian morality and rectitude; and with desires to be edified together in the presence of the Lord, in whose presence there is life, and at whose right hand there are pleasures, sublime, and everlastingly durable.

My spirit worships in the sense of the foretaste of them, which I have experienced in the present state; and in the hope, which cheers in the painful seasons and afflictive occurrences attendant thereon, that finally, the immortal spirit will be solaced in the inestimable, and by it, unmerited reward, which is appointed for the righteous, and is unmixed with sorrow.

From this, I hope not ill-timed, digression, I return to the 10th of the eighth month; when several of the ministers who had attended the meetings at Truro were at ours at Redruth; amongst whom was my friend Hawksworth, who came with intent to spend some time with us, in hope that we might be favoured together with a little rest both of body and mind, which might tend to the recruiting our strength. But alas! although this important solemnity was so well over, and my dear husband's engagements in temporal concerns now sat comparatively light, and we were cheered for two days, the third evinced the instability of all human comforts.

On the 11th, our friend T. Bevington, of Worcester, came to pay us a short visit. He expressed an inclination to have a meeting with the town's people; and my husband going, as he was accustomed upon such occasions, to inform some of them that a meeting would be held that evening, was observed to do it with rather more than common solemnity and tenderness of spirit. I hope the meeting was serviceable, and we spent the evening agreeably with our friends.

In the morning of the 12th, T. Bevington left this place pretty early, and my dear husband arose before me in seemingly usual health, and ate some breakfast, but was suddenly seized with an acute pain in his breast. He came and found me dressing, and told me that the pain was extreme, but said that he conceived it was only in the muscles, and might be rheumatic, but that he could cover the spot affected with his finger. He chose to undress and go into bed, and complained of cold. I sent for an apothecary who apprehended no danger in his case, and gave him a small dose of paregoric elixir, which operated to quiet him and stupify his pain. I left a servant with him, and got some breakfast, and returning found him rather inclined to sleep, so, having some family concerns to attend to, I left him again. The maid who was left with him said he complained of a return of his pain, and she soon perceived such an alteration as occasioned her to ring the bell violently, on which my friend Lydia Hawksworth and I hastened to the chamber. She came soon enough to see him draw his last breath; but my lameness not permitting me to make so much speed, and the maid preventing me from immediately approaching his bed-side, I saw only a breathless corpse.

Thus ended the valuable life of my dearly beloved William Phillips, in the manner he had repeatedly expressed a desire it might end, that is suddenly; though not altogether unexpectedly by himself, as may have been noticed by what I have noted before we set out on our late journey. Pie intimated to me, that his prospects in regard to service in the present state were much closed; and that in respect to the future he had no cloud before him; and he would speak of the solemn close with that ease that discovered he expected no sting of conscience in his death: but the reason he gave for wishing (in submission to the Divine will) that it might be sudden, was, that he had felt so little pain in passing through time, until he had attained the common age of man, that he doubted whether if tried with it in the awful season of death, he should support it with that calm, patient dignity, which graces the close of a Christian life.

By appearances upon his body when it was cold, it was evident that a large blood vessel had broken in his breast; although not the least indication of such an event appeared by any discharge from the mouth, while he was alive.

His desire of attending the meeting at Truro was gratified, which had not been the case had it been held in its usual course. Neither is it probable that I could have attended and laboured therein with that strength of mind I was favoured to do, had this important stroke been executed before that meeting: for although I was preserved from sinking into a state of condemnable sorrow; the shock attending it could not be sustained without my already much enfeebled nature suffering by it. We had lived in the tender endearing connection of marriage somewhat more than thirteen years, after a friendship of about three-and-twenty. The tie of natural affection between us was strong, arising from a similarity of sentiments, which was strengthened by an infinitely higher connection.

Indeed he was a man who commanded love, esteem, and respect, from his numerous relations, friends, and acquaintance, in their different ranks and stations. He was extensively useful without priding himself with it, and he commanded the assent of the judgement of those, amongst whom he might be looked upon as a principal, in the transactions of business, by sound reasoning rather than by overbearing.

Such was his public character, drawn, as far as it goes, not beyond the life, though by his afflicted affectionate widow. She also best knew his private virtues and engaging manners, exemplified in his family connections, friendships, and the general tenor of his conduct; and therefore may say, that he was a kind master, an affectionate father, and a warm and steady friend; always ready to serve his relations, friends, and neighbours, by advice, or as an executor, or referee in disputed cases. An affectionately tender husband—ah, me! how shall I delineate this part of his character i Bound to me by the endearing ties of love and friendship, heightened by religious sympathy, his respect as well as affection, was apparent to our friends and acquaintance. His abilities to assist me in my religious engagements were conspicuous; for although he had no share in the ministerial labour, he was ready to promote it. His natural temper, though quick, was soft and complaisant; a man of exact order in his business, and strict economy even to minute circumstances; yet prudently liberal in his expenses, and charitable to the poor.

In his religious character, he was firmly fixed in his principles agreeably to his profession, and concerned to act consistently with them; but, clothed with charity towards all men, he rejoiced if a reformation of mind and manners was wrought amongst mankind, whoever were the instruments of it. His experience in the spirituality of religion was deeper than even some of his friends might conceive; as it was sometimes concealed under the veil of cheerfulness, which predominated in his constitution; or secreted, through his aversion to make any ostentatious show of it; but when called up to some service in Christ's church, it was evident that he had been instructed in his school. His faith and trust in the Divine power, wisdom and providence, were strong; which enabled him to sustain disappointment and worldly losses with firmness. In this he was tried in some instances, to a degree which would have shaken many minds; but he would say, If a part is gone, I have many mercies left to be thankful for; and he therefore endeavoured to preserve his wonted calmness and cheerfulness.

And when Death's solemn shaft with swiftness flew,

Prepar'd he stood, and no confusion knew;

Sudden the stroke, but peaceful was his end;

Angels his consorts, and his Lord his friend.

Belov'd and hononr'd, see, his spirit soars

To heavenly mansions, and his God adores.

If any peruse what I have written, who had but partial knowledge of him, they may perhaps conclude me too abundant in encomiums upon him. But there are who can subscribe to their truth, and who might add their testimony to his worth and abilities as a man, and a useful member of the community at large, as well as an honourable one of the religious Society of Friends: and if his descendants in the natural line, succeed him in that of virtue and piety, they will value this attempt to delineate his character.

My dear brother was fast declining in his health. He had lately received an alarm, by a stroke of the palsy, to trim his lamp, unto which I hope he attended. He was now in part recovered, but in the succeeding spring was revisited by that distressing disorder, which quickly terminated his life; in the close whereof he was favoured with the cheering prospect of his immortal spirit's centring in everlasting blessedness. He was endowed with a very good natural understanding, which in the latter part of his life was so much employed for the assistance of his friends and neighbours, both of the town and country wherein he resided, that he had as much business in accommodating disputes about property, and other acts of kind aid as his strength would well bear. He died beloved, and his loss was regretted by both the rich and poor.

To a relation.

Redruth, 29th of Seventh month, 1793.

Although I have not written to you since the commencement of your present sorrowful state, you can not be ignorant of my sympathy with you; and considering my increased debility for writing (of which I advised your mother), I might have hoped that you would not have waited for my doing it before you had addressed me: if but with few lines, they would have been very acceptable; especially so, if they had breathed a spirit of acquiescence with the will of the All-wise disposer of events. He knows best on what to lay his hand, in order to facilitate his merciful designs respecting us; and if he deprives us of what is most dear, and which also may appear to be the most valuable and beneficial to us of all his temporal gifts; does he not therein speak this instructive language. Set your affections on things which are in heaven, and not on things which are upon the earth, which must all pass away in their appointed season? They are only lent us as temporary assistants or accommodations in our passage through time; and although they may be rejoiced in and valued as his gifts, they are not to be depended upon or loved beyond the appointed standard of his wisdom. It is our interest as well as duty, to hold them by the tenure wherewith he has entrusted us with them, that is, to be returned at his call; which always ultimately comports with our real happiness, if “we look not at the things which are seen,” which, however high we may prize them, are but temporal; but steadily behold, with ardent desire of possessing, “those which are not seen,” save with the eye of faith, “which are eternal.” My principal concern for you is, that this eye may be opened widely in your soul; that you may see and rightly estimate all possessions which are attainable by man; and, beholding and contemplating the transcendent excellency of spiritual gifts, may covet them earnestly.

This is the only allowable covetousness, and the mind being thus engaged, becomes transformed from a state of nature to that of grace: agreeably to the apostle's testimony and experience: “And we all beholding as in a glass, with open face, the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image, from glory to glory, even by the spirit of the Lord.”

In this renewed state the will of the creature is so absorbed in the will of the Creator, that its life is swallowed up in it; and it does not wish to enjoy any thing which is not “freely given to it of God;” whose inscrutable wisdom bounds its desires, and under a sense that it knows not what is best, it refers all thereto, and thus it comes to experience “new heavens and a new earth” to be created unto it, “wherein dwells righteousness;” and it abundantly rejoices in that which God creates, as it is sensible that “he creates Jerusalem, the city of the solemnities of his saints, a rejoicing, and her people a joy.”

Dear _____, be not dejected at the present dispensation of affliction, nor indulge reasoning upon causes or events, of which your natural understanding is incompetent to judge. Remember that “the Lord has a way in the clouds, and a path in the thick darkness, and his footsteps are not known;” they cannot be fully comprehended by mortals. How vain therefore is the query. Why have you allowed this or that? Yes, is it not worse than vain, if our temporal interests, pleasure, or convenience, are put in competition with his will and wisdom? He can restore what he deprives of, or compensate for it; and often does so abundantly to those who sincerely desire that the light and momentary afflictions may work for them a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, and tend to their increasing in the present state in that superlative blessing which makes truly rich, and is unmixed with sorrow.

I am persuaded you have seen this blessing, yes, have tasted of it; but remember, this is not enough; you must attentively behold and consider its worth, and your desire to attain it must be strong and steady. If you possess it and hold it fast, then will you be enabled to say, “I will not be afraid of evil tidings,” nor of the consequence of the loss of temporal goods of any kind, “My heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord,” who upholds his children, and provides from one stage of life to another, what is fitting for their accommodations, and most conducive to their acquiring that inheritance which is incorruptible and undefiled: whereon I earnestly desire your attention and affection may henceforward be so fixed, that you may experience that what has happened, however afflicting to nature, has worked together for your real permanent good.

I was almost afraid to write to you, as it appeared like touching a sore which might be a little healed; but I hope my pen has been directed to steer clear of adding to your pain. I saw nothing of what I have communicated when I began to write. Receive it as a kind intimation from the Father of mercies, as well as the cordial advice, and affectionate desire for your experiencing your mind to be so stayed upon the Lord as to become settled in true peace, of your sympathizing

Catharine Phillips

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To Redruth, Eleventh month 2nd, 1793.

Dear friend,—For with that epithet I hope I may address you in the spiritual relationship, having felt an affectionate sympathy with and regard for you, although our personal acquaintance has not been such as might induce a very free expression of it. But one of my chief joys in my debilitated state is, the hearing or seeing that the children of the elect lady (which the church of Christ may be styled) walk in the Truth; and a principal evidence of my continuing a living member of that church, is my retaining a love to the brethren. Indeed, I hope that this love is increased in my state of weakness, and my desires are strong that the plantation of God may be so watered, weeded, pruned, and watched over, as that its plants may flourish and be fruitful, according to their kind, and the uses he assigns them. That all the trees and plants in his extensive garden may rejoice together, because they experience the advantage arising from their sheltering each other from storms, and expediting each other's growth, although it may in some instances appear to diminish the spreading of some plants of large magnitude, and which also may be deeply rooted. Such must at times evince their humility and true greatness by a willingness to be lopped, that room be made for young valuable plants growing near them, to expand.

Indeed, I see occasion for old trees, in the spiritual plantation, to be pruned, as well as young ones, if they continue fruitful in the different seasons of life; if they will not abide it, barrenness and a contemptible appearance awaits them in the closing stage of life, though they have been fruitful in the earlier periods of it.

May all the Lord's plants desire that he may turn his hand upon them as often as he sees it needful for their preservation, that they may produce well flavoured fruit in that proportion which he knows their root can bear. Alas, what great occasion is there for this pruning work in our highly favoured Society. How many wild shoots have been allowed to remain and grow, even to the destruction of some promising trees; shoots which have plenteously produced the fruits of the first nature, although they may not have the appearance of the worst kind. How heavy laden with fruits of worldly mindedness are some, whose outward appearance is specious.

Pretended self-denial is in many instances self-gratification, and their zeal is not according to knowledge. These masked characters among us, it appears to me, do more hurt than open libertines; they create a distrust of the whole body of our members, brand us with the stigma of hypocrisy, and sorely wound the living remnant, who mourn for offences they cannot remedy, and lament the discouragement administered by them to tender infant plants in our garden.

But what says the divine inspector to those who see and lament the state of these burdensome members? “Take heed to yourselves,” and when your hearts and hands are cleansed, arise and labour in my garden to remove such plants as will not be restored to beauty and fruitfulness; and wisely nurse and train up those who are willing to receive instruction; endeavour to support the weak, to comfort the feeble minded, reprove, exhort, rebuke with all long-suffering and meekness. Thus may you be instrumental to work a reformation, and your spirits will be replenished with divine peace and love, which will compensate for all labours, sufferings, and the loss of every temporal blessing wherewith you may be tried.

It appears clear to me, that if our living brethren and sisters who are nut called to labour publicly in word and doctrine, solemnly attended to their share of this rectifying work, it would tend to an increase of true spiritual unity and sympathy amongst us. There are indeed but few experienced fathers whose minds are affectionately exercised for the children's growth and preservations which is probably one cause why there are not more of the rebellious children turned to the wisdom of the just. Private judicious admonition and cautions are not duly administered, or endeavours used to gather the youthful stragglers under the sheltering wing of wise elders. I am thankfully sensible, notwithstanding, that the Lord is at work amongst us, and I believe he will work powerfully to the reducing of the wills of some who have been educated in the profession of the truth, to the obedience of sonship, and others who have wandered upon the mountains will become inhabitants of the valleys, and be settled under the government of Israel's Shepherd.

But even such as are seeking the way to Zion, and are earnestly desirous to be everlastingly united to the Lord and his people, need much attention and help; they have much to leave behind, and many discouragements to encounter; and I think I have seen that if Friends watched over such as are looking towards us in wisdom, with a desire to be helpers of their faith, and endeavoured by honest labour to rectify their errors and defects, more of these might be brought forward, and in time become an additional strength to us. I had no view of penning the foregoing sentiments when I began to write to you, but finding an inclination to reply to your acceptable letter of the 10th ult., I have ventured to communicate them, in hope that if they meet your own, it may tend to strengthen your resolution to attend to your share of any part of the work divine wisdom may assign you in his church. It has pleased him to deprive you of one of his most valuable temporal blessings; may it tend to your enlargement in spiritual gifts, and increase of the highest enjoyments.

I observe your remark of the probability of this nation sharing in a greater degree than it has yet done, of the cup of trembling, of which a neighbouring one drinks so deeply. As a religious body called to peace, we should study to promote it, and how we may edify not only one another, but those also who may differ from us in religious profession; exampling them how they ought to demean themselves consistently with the gospel of the prince of Peace; and if suffering be our lot, either for our testimony of a good conscience, or in sharing the calamities wherewith the nation may be visited, to seek for strength to bear them consistently with the dignity of our high, holy, and peaceable profession.

Had your business led you this way, I should have been pleased to have seen you and conversed with you in the love and freedom of Truth. I am visited by some valuable friends, yet at times conclude myself a solitary afflicted widow, increasing in bodily infirmities, and able to do but little to promote the cause of righteousness. He who judges righteously only knows the cause of my late great affliction, whereto my most affectionate friends were in a great measure Wind. May the dispensation of his mercy and judgement be so sanctified to my spirit, as to prepare it for admittance into his kingdom when dislodged from this decrepit and much afflicted tabernacle.

Your affectionate friend,

Catharine Phillips

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To_______, who had been long in a distressed state of mind,

from some tenets esteemed religious.

Esteemed friend,—The sympathy I have repeatedly felt with your exercised mind has raised earnest desires in mine, that Divine goodness may vouchsafe more fully to open your understanding into the “work of righteousness,” and so enlarge your experience therein, that you may witness it to be “peace,” and the effect of it “quietness and assurance forever.”

Many are the stratagems of the subtle adversary of our happiness to prevent our attaining to this desirable state, which are only manifested by the light of Truth; whereunto I have wished your mind might be effectually turned, and your dependence fixed solely upon the one sure everlasting Helper. For while you are seeking after men for instruction, and a settlement in the true faith, you will be liable to be tossed to and fro by the various and opposite doctrines preached; and though ever hearing, may never come to the knowledge of the Truth in its native simplicity. Permit me, therefore, in true love, to entreat you to cease from them, and humbly to wait upon the unerring Teacher, who can and will “guide you into all Truth,” if you are disposed implicitly to follow him.

It appears to me more necessary now for you to seek after resignation to the Divine will, than to search into comments upon points of doctrine: for until we attain to that state, we are not likely to “receive the kingdom of God as little children;” who, knowing nothing, are to be instructed from one point of knowledge and duty to another, and are passive to the direction of their tutors. Those who are resigned to the Father's will, are to know of the doctrines of the Son: unto these they are marvellously opened and sealed, so that they can say they believe, not because of the testimony of others, but have “the witness in themselves"

that they are the doctrines of Truth; and thus believing, they enter into rest, being certain that they have acquired the knowledge of the Truth; and pressing forward under its influence, they experience a gradual advancing to the “stature of manhood in Christ.”

It is this holy certainty I desire you may be partaker of, with those who are building upon the ancient “foundation of the apostles and prophets;” for such there are in the present time as surely as there were in the primitive ages of the church; who know Jesus Christ to be the “chief corner stone,” and build upon him, and rejoice in him, as their leader, feeder, and instructor; through whom they worship the Father in spirit and in truth; and look up to Him in all afflictions and exercises, in humble confidence, that as a tender father, he cares for them and will supply all their needs.

Thus it was, in the morning of our day as a people, that many sincere souls who had long wandered upon the mountains of profession, and been exercised in various forms of godliness, seeking rest, but not finding it therein, obtained a settlement in the Truth as it is now professed amongst us, which they possessed, and rejoiced therein. For although the public profession of it exposed them to many and grievous sufferings both in person and estate; as well as to the general contempt of the world, whose customs and manners they were constrained to contradict, by a conduct and behaviour directly opposite thereto; they being devoted to suffering for the testimony of a good conscience, were favoured with that true peace which the world cannot give; and in noisome prisons livingly praised Him who had called them, not only to believe in Christ and his doctrines, but to suffer for him. Many of these have left faithful records of their sufferings, exercises, and experiences of the merciful dealings of the Lord with their souls; which may he as marks in the way to those who are sincerely seeking the same city which was prepared for them, and tend to strengthen their resolution to walk as they did; in holy self-denial, in contempt of the world, and in reverence and fear of offending Him, who had graciously manifested himself to them as a God of infinite loving-kindness. His compassion, my friend, fails not; but all who will come may come, and upon the terms of submission to his will, experience Him to blot out their transgressions, and be a father unto them. In Him is no variableness, neither shadow of turning: and if we of the present generation cleave steadily to Him, and are willing to die that we may live, we may be witnesses in our day to his power and mercy, and have to tell unto others, what he has done for our souls.

I herewith send you a collection of memoirs, etc. of one who had been under various forms and professions of religion; and was in no mean station in the several religious societies, which in quest of real peace he left; whereof I request your candid perusal. I was induced to this freedom by frequently remembering you, as I lately read some of them, which seemed adapted to an exercised mind; and hope you will construe it as intended for a help to settle yours in a right engagement before the Lord; unto whose wisdom I commend you, only desiring you may be baptized into that state, wherein, with the Captain of our salvation, you may be able to say, “Father, glorify your name,” by my entire submission to your will.

I hope you will not suppose from any of the foregoing observations, that I confine the peculiar favour of God, to the members of our Society, to the exclusion of others. No, I believe that amongst all sorts of people, “those who fear God and work righteousness, are accepted of Him:” but as faithfulness agreeable to knowledge is the terms of our acceptance, it behoves us to seek earnestly for strength to do, as well as to be desirous to know, the heavenly Father's will; and whoever is thus sincerely exercised is likely to attain to his salvation. I am sorrowfully sensible of the great declension there is amongst us as a religious Society, from primitive purity and love to God; nevertheless, the principle of light and life we profess, is unchangeably the same; and there are yet with us, who, moving under its influence, rejoice in the manifestation thereof to their souls. That others under the same profession should run counter thereto, is no more than may be expected, though much to be lamented; for as now many hold the profession from education, and are born with passions like other men, until those passions come under Divine restriction, they will produce their natural fruits.

I conclude with desiring, that “the God of all consolation, who raised from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the great and true Shepherd of his own sheep,” may so manifest him as such to your soul, that, “hearing his voice, you may follow Him,” and arrive to such an establishment in righteousness as to be favoured with true peace, and sincerely subscribe myself your friend,

Catharine Phillips.

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A Testimony from the monthly meeting of Friends for the Western Division of Cormoall, held at Falmouth the 6th of the fourth month, 1795, concerning our late valued friend,

Catharine Phillips, formerly Payton.

It appears, from accounts received, that she was born at Dudley in Worcestershire, the 16th of the first month, 1726-7, old Stile. Her parents, Henry and Ann Payton were honourable Friends; and he an approved minister, who, when in health, was much from home in the discharge of his religious duties; but for many of the latter years of his life was confined to his chamber by a paralytic disorder: so that the care of a large young family devolved mostly upon his wife, a woman of eminent piety and prudence, whose anxious solicitude for, and watchful attention to, her children, they have often commemorated with filial tenderness.

Thus instructed by example and precept, our beloved friend was early engaged “to seek the Lord for her portion, and to know the God of her fathers to be the lot of her inheritance.” And being much the companion of her afflicted father, she was probably thereby preserved from many levities incident to youth, as well as edified by his innocent conduct and virtues. In this allotment she had also opportunity to cultivate a disposition for retirement, so favourable to the growth of that good seed which the heavenly Husbandman had sown in her heart. Nevertheless, as she advanced in years, she found the propensities of natural inclination and wisdom strongly opposed to the manifestation of Divine grace; and through the conversation of some whose minds were not sufficiently guarded by that fear “which preserves from the snares of death;” together with the introduction of books inconsistent with the simplicity of Truth, her best interest was greatly endangered. But it pleased Him whose gracious purpose it was to separate her to his service, about the seventeenth year of her age, to renew the powerful visitation of his love; and being favoured to see the station designed for her in the church militant, she was made willing to endure the baptisms necessary to that end.

Under this trying dispensation she experienced the enemy of her soul to be a subtle as well as an open enemy; and earnest were her petitions, that she might be enabled to centre so deep in the resignation of her own will, as clearly to distinguish his deceptive voice from that of the true Shepherd; and thus be preserved from stepping forth in her service, before the appointed time. And this petition was no doubt granted by Him who saw the integrity and dedication of her mind: for having, as we believe, passed through this work of preparation, the fruit produced was correspondently mature; and her progress in religious experience and usefulness distinguishably eminent. Her first public appearance was in supplication at Dudley meeting, on the 10th of the second month, 1748, being then in the twenty-second year of her age; and in the following year she entered upon her travels in the ministry, which continued with little intermission until within about nine years of her decease; during which latter space she was mostly confined at home by indisposition'' of body. Besides repeatedly visiting most of the counties in England and Wales, her travels extended to Ireland, Scotland, Holland, and the continent of America: in the course of which, according to accounts received, her labours amongst Friends and others were blessed to the convincement, edification, and comfort of many.

In the year 1772, she entered upon the marriage state with our late valued friend William Phillips, and removed into Cornwall; where she was much engaged in religious labour, as well for the spreading of the testimonies of Truth among strangers, as in repairing the waste places in the Society: being often zealously concerned for the support of our Christian discipline, that irremediable cases which had been too much neglected, and were as stumbling-blocks, might be removed out of the way of sober inquirers; and particularly for the right establishment of women's meetings, in which her service was considerable.

During her long confinement and illness, a little before which time her tenderly affectionate husband was suddenly removed from her by death, she was often deeply tried; yet had to testify that the Lord's hand was still at times revealed for her support and preservation, and that his “wisdom is stamped on every dispensation of his providence.” And although it was not permitted her to behold much fruit of her many arduous labours and secret baptisms amongst us, we believe they have been blessed to some of us; and with regard to others, we have a hope, as the Lord often sees fit for wise ends to veil from the view of his faithful labourers the extent of their usefulness, that the good seed sown through the instrumentahty of this highly favoured servant will not be lost; but in due season produce the desired increase to the praise of his own ever worthy Name.

Some time before her decease, she thus expressed herself; “I am going where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest. Oh, these souls of ours! that we should be willing to run the risk of losing them for any of the enjoyments of this life. I may say to you, follow me as I have followed Christ. Beware of pride, and of the very ground of pride.” When under pressure of great bodily suffering, she said, “this is a trial; Lord God Almighty sanctify it to my soul.” To one present she said, “My dear child, the Lord God Almighty bless you in every respect; all things may be done, and all things may be borne, through faith and faithfulness to the Author of all good.” A few days before her removal, being at dinner, one remarked how little she ate. She replied, “it will do its office as long as necessary; and I am thankful that I feel no cloud;” and, making a short pause, added, “I have received a recompense at the Lord's hand for sin:” soon after which, the fits which attended her in this illness returned, and continued till about half an hour before she expired, during which space she lay very quiet, and drew her breath shorter and shorter to the last. She died the 16th of the eighth month, 1794, in the sixty-eighth year of her age, and forty-sixth of her ministry; and, after a meeting of Friends and others of the neighbourhood held on the occasion, was decently interred at Kea.

Read and approved in said meeting, and signed by Thomas W. Fox, Benjamin Wilkey, Richard Scantlebury, William James, James Hamilton, Samuel Tregelles, Silvanus James, Joseph Honeychurch, Robert W. Fox, William Jenkin, Richard Fox, George Fox, Samuel Tregelles, Jr. John Hamilton, David Richards, Tabitha Fox, Sarah Tregelles, Eleanor Richards, Catharine Fox, Frances Fox, Mary Fox, Jr. Grace Dennis, Eliza C. Jennings, Elizabeth Hingston, Hannah Fox, Anna Fox, Anna Price, Sarah James, Rebecca Tregelles, Eliza R. Fox, Mary Hingston, Jr. Mary J. Fox, Catharine Richards, Catharine Hamilton, Cath. Phillips Tregelles, Elizabeth Philp.

Read and approved in our quarterly meeting for Cornwall, held at Falmouth the 7th of the fourth month, 1795, and signed in and on behalf thereof, by George Fox, Clerk.

Anna Fox, Clerk.

1William Penn's account of George Fox.

2Should any one not acquainted with Friends' discipline read these Memoirs, it is not improper to observe, that, when a minister, approved amongst them, believes it his or her duty to visit a distant part of the nation, etc. a certificate is given of the unity of Friends of the monthly meeting whereof such minister is a member, that Friends where they travel may be assured that they do not move in so weighty a service without the concurrence of their Friends at home: also that the laying on of hands mentioned in the preceding page, is only to be understood as a figurative expression.

3It seems worthy of noting, that although I did not make my passage when I first went to sea, my attempting it might have been of use to the captain, who was a religious-minded man, with whom I had conversation. He allowed no profane language aboard his vessel. He said he had difficulty to prevent it, but he made it a rule; and that the sailors might obey his orders, sometimes asked their advice, and when they concurred with him in judgment, they quietly submitted to orders.

4I note upon this epistle, that, although for a time there appeared a degree of convincement of the Truth amongst these people, that were so scattered, that scarcely one of them steadily and uniformly abode upon its foundation to the end.

5I think it worthy noting, that Samuel Fothergill, being at London yearly-meeting, when this report was current, on a Friend's bringing him a supposed confirmation of the truth of it, paused awhile, and bid her tell the person who informed her, from him, “She is not dead;” which was soon confirmed by an account from Scotland.

6Prov. XX. 1. t Ibid, xxiii. 29, 30, 31, and 32

7That part of my letter to Mary Peisley I omitted to transcribe in the before-written abstract.

8An allusion to a dream which the party had, wherein, amongst other remarkable circumstances, he was met in a beautiful garden by two women, representing (according to the interpretation which opened in his mind when he awoke) Virtue and Vanity, who each solicited his company for a walk; and though he strongly inclined to the latter, the former insisted on his accompanying her, not only for a walk but for life; which rather than comply with, he endeavoured to escape out of the garden (which he called the world); but coming to the gate found it locked, and the key in her possession. So being forced to a compliance, he accompanied her, and became gradually charmed with her conversation, by which he was won to a love of religion, and in the end much delighted with the prospect of such a companion for life.

9When travellers who lodge in the woods turn their horses to graze, they fasten a bell about each of their necks, and if they miss the sound of any of them, they go to see whether they are not strayed far from the shed.

10In this country the changes of the weather are so sudden, and so extreme from hot to cold, that when a hard frost lasts for a pretty many days, the people frequently drop of suddenly, with pleuretic disorders. I thought their manner of living might in many instances contribute to their sudden death. They eat pork, or other flesh, at almost every meal, not excepting breakfast, and such as can get it (too generally) drink neat rum. Frequently, they rather choose to drink water alone, and take their drams, than mix them together.

11Boards put to defend the cabin-windows in storms.

12Or, as it may be translated, overseer.

Table of Contents

Chapter I

Chapter II.

Chapter III.

Chapter IV.

Chapter V.

Chapter VI.

Chapter VII.

Chapter VIII.

Chapter IX.