The Journal

of

William Evans

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Originally Entitled:

The Journal, Life, and Religious Services of

William Evans

A Minster of the Gospel in the Society of Friends

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Unabridged

Formatting & Modernized Spelling by

Jason R. Henderson

To the Reader

In the preparation of the following pages for publication, there has been little more required, than to select and arrange the matter, from the copious and long-kept diary of my late beloved brother. In them will be found depicted, in simplicity and self-abasement, the dealings of the Lord with one, whose main desire from early life, next to the salvation of his soul, was to be qualified for the service of his Divine Master, and to be rightly employed in his Church.

As the reader traces his growth in Grace, he can form his own judgment of the stature he attained in Christ Jesus his Lord. It will be seen, that in common with other faithful servants of a crucified Master, he was often baptized into suffering and death; that he might be prepared to visit the oppressed Seed, to partake, in his measure, of the afflictions to be filled up for the body's sake, which is the Church, and to experience in himself the work of sanctification, and the renewings of that life which is hid with Christ in God.

He shows that he knew what it was, to be often clothed with a humbling sense of his frailty and his inability, as a man, for any good word or work; that he felt the necessity of keeping constantly on the watch, lest he should be betrayed into trusting in anything belonging to himself, and to seek for that Divine anointing, which alone could fit him for the position he occupied in the Church, and to engage in the work assigned him.

But while a correct estimate of his religious character may be drawn from the record made by his own pen, it may not be inappropriate to add a few words, to enable the reader to form some correct appreciation of his natural endowments, and his bearing in the domestic and social circles in which he moved.

He possessed good mental abilities, and though his scholastic education was not equal, in some respects, to that now provided for the children of Friends, yet his quick perception, his habits of accurate observation and correct reasoning, together with a fondness for instructive reading, enabled him to store his mind with a fund of sound knowledge, that rendered his conversation interesting and profitable. With warm, natural affection for his family and other connections, he attached them more strongly to himself by kindness and manifest interest in their welfare, than by the ties of consanguinity. Though he speaks of being often cast down and distressed, on account of the state of the professing Church, yet such was his care to wash and anoint, so as not to appear unto men to fast, that there were few who more generally maintained a chastened cheerfulness, or whose deportment was more free from repulsive reserve. His manner was genial, and marked by simplicity and sincerity; and social interaction, however diversified, soon revealed, that the subjects which lay nearest to his heart, were the work of salvation, and the spread of the Redeemer's kingdom.

His ministry was fervent, forcible and fluent; manifesting concern to reach the Witness for Truth in the hearts of his hearers, rather than to convince by argument, or please by eloquence; and while his Christian love embraced those of every denomination, who loved the Lord Jesus in sincerity, it flowed pre-eminently to his fellow members in the Society of Friends, whose religious growth and stability were objects of his deepest solicitude; to promote which, he was ever ready to spend and be spent.

Charles Evans.

Philadelphia, Tenth month, 1870.

The Journal having been examined by a Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, its publication was approved by that meeting.

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Introduction

A Memorial of the Monthly Meeting of Friends of Philadelphia, for the Southern District, held Ninth Month 23rd, 1868, concerning William Evans. Approved by the Yearly Meeting of Friends held in Philadelphia, 1869.

From a belief that much encouragement may be derived by survivors, from contemplating the consistent example of those who during a long life have been dedicated to the Lord's service, and enabled, through obedience to his Holy Spirit, to promote the cause of truth and righteousness in the earth, we are engaged to preserve a memorial of our beloved friend, William Evans.

He was the son of our late valued friends, Jonathan and Hannah Evans, and was born in Philadelphia the 5th day of the Tenth month, 1787; and during his whole life was a member of this Monthly Meeting. From memoranda which he states he believed it right to preserve of the Lord's dealings with him, it appears he was of a quick, lively disposition when young, and disinclined to restraint, which increased as he grew older. The society of religious people was irksome to him, and he sought the company of those whose passions and propensities were unsubjected to the Cross of Christ. By pursuing this course he remarks: “Corruption strengthened, the innocency of childhood was tarnished, and my carnal appetites began to seek indulgences totally at variance with purity of heart, and that life which my parents earnestly labored to inculcate and keep their children in.”

While learning the business which he afterwards followed, he was exposed to many temptations, being much separated from the care of his anxious and exercised parents, and subjected to interaction with those who knew little or nothing of the work of religion. In this season of danger Divine mercy was extended to him, and he was kept from falling into the evil habits and conversation of some of his young companions.

It was the practice in his father's family frequently to read aloud in the Holy Scriptures and the writings of Friends. On one occasion, when collected for that purpose, he was brought into much contrition by reading William Leddra's epistle written the day before his execution. “It was,” he says, “an extraordinary visitation of heavenly love, the savor of which continued many days,” producing a sense of his sinful, impure condition; and fervent desires were raised after holiness. “The Light of Christ shone clearly into my heart,” he remarks, “showing me that many of my habits were contrary to the Divine purity, and must be abandoned—that many of my words were light and unsavory, and a guard must be placed at the door of my lips.

Love flowed into my heart toward my gracious, Almighty Parent pre-eminently, and then toward all men as brethren and creatures of the same all-powerful Hand. I desired above all things to be with Jesus, and to know Him to continue with me, and at that time it seemed as if He did condescend to manifest Himself in a clear manner, so that his countenance was lovely, and I walked under his guidance and protection with great delight. It was the baptism unto repentance, the day of my espousals, the beginning of a new life; and while favored with these heavenly feelings, I thought nothing would be too hard to part with in obedience to the will of my Savior.

He was at this period about seventeen years of age, and although he had set out in earnest to walk in the straight and narrow way, he found that his evil propensities were still strong, and his soul's enemy unwearied in endeavors to overcome him.

For lack of keeping on the watch, he yielded to temptation, and was thereby introduced into much conflict and distress, and made sensible of the Divine displeasure; yet in the midst of judgment, the Lord remembered mercy, and through the operation of his blessed Spirit, brought him again to tenderness of heart, and humbled him under a sense of unworthiness of his condescension and love.

About the twentieth year of his age he appears to have passed through many baptisms and mortifying dispensations, doubtless designed for his purification and refinement. He also experienced seasons of Divine consolation, wherein he says he was enabled to pour out his soul before the Lord, and fervently craved to be made one of his children, and to serve Him all the days of his life. At one period, when passing through a time of great seeming desertion, the enemy took advantage of his bereaved condition, and started the doubt whether Jesus Christ was his Savior, and insinuated that he had never heard his voice.

Not being able to feel that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ which he thought he once possessed, “great distress and anxiety,” he says, “came upon me. I searched the Holy Scriptures, and diligently read various religious works which I hoped would restore the lost pearl, but it was all in vain. I was utterly unable to regain my faith in Christ, which had been an anchor to my soul in many tossings and tempests.” For a long time he was kept in this condition, until he ceased searching books or striving to satisfy himself by argument. “I looked up to my Heavenly Father,” he remarks, “but all was hid from me, and I wondered how it was that I should be unable to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ who, I had been taught, and never had doubted, was the Savior.” Through this distressing conflict he was kept steadfast and patient; and one evening while walking out for meditation, with his mind turned toward the Lord, he says, “He whom my soul sought above all things suddenly came to his temple, and by his Holy Spirit gave me to see that He alone is the author of that faith which enters within the veil and gives victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil; and that it is not founded merely on what is read, but is really of the operation of God on the heart. I rejoiced exceedingly and gave thanks to Him who is worthy of all praise and honor, and who will not give his glory to another. I could now firmly believe in the Lord Jesus as my Savior, because of the renewed revelation of the Holy Spirit giving me that faith in Him; and through mercy I have never since been permitted to feel any doubt respecting his divinity, his mediation, or any of his offices in the redemption and salvation of man. I record this under a sense of my own nothingness, and for the purpose of exalting the glory of his grace, believing that the foundation of true gospel saving faith is the immediate manifestation of the Holy Spirit; and it is this which draws the dedicated soul to Christ, and enables it to believe in Him savingly, to rely upon and to follow Him as our Redeemer and the Captain of our salvation.”

He referred to this dispensation later in life as a peculiar favor and blessing; and it was no doubt a means of preparing him firmly to defend the fundamental doctrine of the divinity of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, when in after years it was openly denied by many under our name, and also to preserve him from the error of regarding the Holy Scriptures as the origin and ground of that faith which comes only through the operations of Divine Grace in the heart. “The Scriptures,” he remarks, “are an invaluable record of all those things most surely believed by the faithful followers of Christ, who have the opportunity of reading them; but it is God alone who can give true and saving faith in his beloved Son and in the truths of the Gospel, and it is by his mercy we are preserved to the end in the possession of that faith.”

After commencing business on his own account, he had great fear of bringing a shade or reproach on the profession of the Truth, or upon our religious Society; and whenever anything presented, however profitable, which appeared to conflict with either, he felt most easy to decline engaging in it. His business was small, and on one occasion he was brought under concern lest it should not prove adequate to his necessities; but his gracious Master condescended to show him that if he was faithful to his requirings, he should never lack food or raiment.

“The language and impression were so clear,” he says, “humbling my heart before Him, that I believed his word; and thereby proved that that faith of which He is the author, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. My mind firmly and peacefully rested in it, as much as it would have done in an independent estate, although no change in my business very soon occurred.”

Not long afterwards an opportunity presented for engaging in more extensive business, and he felt strongly inclined to embrace it, especially as that which he was then pursuing had been seriously interfered with by the war, so that it appeared doubtful whether it would support his family. A secret uneasiness, however, attended his mind in reference to the change, and he remarks, “My doubts increased, and one day, sitting in our religious meeting, it plainly appeared to me that though the mind may be able to compass much, yet beyond its capacity it cannot go. If all its energies are enlisted in the concerns of the world, and their pressure is as great as it is capable of bearing, the all-important work of religion must be neglected.” These impressions made him afraid to risk his everlasting salvation for the sake of worldly emolument, and led him to the conclusion that it would be safer for him to decline the offer; and when this was done his mind was made easy, and he was able to repose in humble confidence in Divine Providence; “remembering,” he says, “that the earth is the Lord's, and the cattle on a thousand hills; and He, in inscrutable wisdom and kindness, will dispense what He knows we need.” Subsequent events showed that if he had followed his own inclination and judgment on the occasion referred to, he would probably have become involved in great embarrassment and anxiety, and perhaps been disqualified for that service in the Church which his Divine Master designed for him.

In the Twelfth month, 1811, he was married to Deborah, daughter of Aaron and Abigail Musgrave. This union did not long continue—his beloved wife being removed by death in the Sixth month, 1815.

He had very clear openings into the character and qualifications of a minister of the Gospel several years before he was called to the service himself. They produced the conviction that all who are rightly placed in that important office are made ministers by Christ, and that which they preach should be from the direct openings and communications of his Spirit. “These things,” he says, “I was favored to see in the light of the Lord Jesus, and at times I felt as if I could stand forth as a servant under his authority, to proclaim the glad tidings of life and salvation, and gather souls in the Gospel net.” Again he writes, “Neither the most extensively gifted nor those of the largest experience, have anything of their own to communicate which can really profit the people. All must reverently wait upon Him, without whom they can do nothing, and it is only as He opens the spring and causes it to flow afresh, that any, the least or the greatest, are authorized and qualified to attempt to minister to others.”

With these convictions of the solemnity and importance of the work he was called into, and prepared for by submission to the humbling power of Truth, he first appeared in the ministry when accompanying his mother and another female minister on a religious visit to New England, in the year 1817, in a sitting in a family where they made their home. His belief of his call to this weighty service was renewed and much strengthened by the public testimony of a beloved friend, when not long after he was brought under exercise at his own meeting, and on which occasion he yielded to the Divine requiring.

In the year 1820 he was attacked with yellow fever, and such was the violence of the disease that there appeared little prospect of his recovery. “For several days during this sickness,” he remarks, “the beams of the Sun of righteousness were entirely withdrawn, and the sentence of death seemed to have gone forth. All my former experiences were perfectly obliterated, and there appeared nothing left upon which I could ground my hope of happiness.” After some time his confidence in Divine mercy was gradually restored—some passages of Scripture were opened, and the views he was again favored with of the humility and purity indispensably necessary for a minister and servant of Christ, raised the belief that the Divine hand was still at work.

The language that perhaps “this sickness was not unto death, but for the glory of God,” raised a further hope that he was not cast off, but that the Lord would again have mercy, and that it would prove the means of preparing him more acceptably to come up in his service.

He was acknowledged as a minister in the Second month, 1822; and being preserved in a humble, watchful state of mind, depending upon Him who had conferred the gift, he was enlarged in divine knowledge and utterance. Being careful to wait for the fresh putting forth of the Good Shepherd, his words were accompanied with life and power, rendering his ministry remarkably baptizing and edifying. He was often led to dwell in his public communications upon the importance of attention to the guidance and teachings of the Holy Spirit, exhorting his hearers, with much fervency, to yield obedience to the Divine will manifested in the secret of the heart, and showing with clearness that the pathway to peace and happiness was through the operation of the Cross of Christ. His appearances in prayer, though not frequent in our religious meetings, were very weighty and impressive, and when so engaged he evinced much brokenness of spirit, manifesting his sense of the awfulness of that solemn engagement.

His first religious visit with a minute, was to attend the Yearly Meeting held in Baltimore, in the year 1823. From that time to 1854 he was frequently engaged, with the unity of this Meeting, in religious service. During that period he visited all the meetings of Friends in our own Yearly Meeting, and, with few exceptions, those constituting the other Yearly Meetings in this country, and some of them several times. In returning the minutes granted, on the completion of these visits, he frequently acknowledged with much feeling, that in the prosecution of them he had mercifully experienced, from season to season, Divine help, qualifying him to perform the services to the relief and solid peace of his own mind. Being much redeemed from the love of the world, he was enabled to keep temporal things in their proper place, relying on the faithfulness of Him who had given him in early life the assurance he should not lack food and raiment. Although engaged in a business that depended for its success more than some others on close personal attention, yet he freely left it when called to go forth in his Master's service.

He felt a lively interest in the guarded religious education of the youth of our Society, and his services in promoting this important concern were very valuable and highly appreciated by those associated with him in the management of schools.

He was a practical believer in the necessity of waiting for and relying upon the openings of Truth, to qualify for right decisions in the Church; and being endued with a sound, discriminating judgment, he was much occupied and very useful in attending to the affairs of the Society, and he filled for a considerable time several important stations. In reference to the necessity of silent waiting as a qualification for religious service, he writes: “There are many lessons to be learned in silence as well as in speaking; and to be brought into a state of childlike docility and obedience to the leadings of our heavenly Shepherd, seems to be the principal end of all the dispensations of his wisdom. The haughtiness of man must be laid low, and the Lord alone exalted in that heart which is prepared to be acceptably engaged in his service.

In a state of deep humility and patient waiting upon Him, we become prepared to discern the motions of his Spirit, and in simplicity to yield compliance therewith. There is as much need to learn to be still and to know the active, forward disposition of the human mind reduced to subjection, as there is to experience a willingness wrought to perform the Lord's will when it is manifested. He is a wise Master Builder, and if we abide under his preparing hand, He will fashion us into vessels and instruments for his use.”

Being grounded by heart-felt conviction in a belief of the authenticity and divine authority of the Holy Scriptures, the divinity of Christ, and the efficacy of his propitiatory offering for the sins of the whole world, he was brought under much concern and exercise, in consequence of the attempts to invalidate these all-important truths, and he believed it to be his duty to stand firm in the support of them. In common with many faithful Friends, at a later period he was introduced into much sorrow and anxiety, at the unsettlement manifested by many in profession with the Society, and viewed with great concern the efforts which the adversary of all good was insidiously making to introduce new views and practices, and draw away the members from a consistent support of our ancient doctrines and testimonies. He was frequently engaged under deep religious feeling to point out the consequences which must result from such departures; and earnest were his exhortations to his fellow-members to uphold the standard of Truth to which our early Friends were instrumental in gathering so many, illustrating by their holy lives and peaceful deaths, that they had not followed cunningly devised fables.

In the Twelfth month, 1824, he was married to Elizabeth Barton, who was at that time and until the close of her life, a highly esteemed minister in our Society. She was a true help meet to him, and tenderly sympathized with him in his exercises and trials, strengthened and encouraged him in the performance of his varied duties, and shared with him in godly concern and care for the preservation and true welfare of their children. In the Eleventh month, 1861, his beloved and valuable wife was suddenly removed by death. This solemn event plunged him into deep affliction, but an undoubted evidence was mercifully given him soon after his bereavement, that her redeemed spirit was partaking of the joys of God's salvation; which, he writes, “raised thanksgiving to the Lord my God, who had been with me all my life long, fed me and kept me unto this day, in the hope that He would still condescend to be with me, sustain my head above the billows, and keep me in the hollow of his Omnipotent Hand, so that I may be enabled to fill up the measure of suffering and duty that He may still allot, and know all my sins to be forgiven, and my garments washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb, and be accepted at the last by my gracious Redeemer.”

The shock given to his nervous system by this sudden and unexpected event, was great and irreparable. His sight failed rapidly, and it was not long before he was unable to see to read or to write. To one whose mind had always been active, and who had accustomed himself to employ much time in the use of the pen, or in the perusal of works congenial with the tone of his thoughts and feelings, this was a privation keenly felt. But as he was thus cut off from some outward sources of mental enjoyment, his attention was more and more withdrawn from external things, and in reverent retirement centered on the inward manifestations of the Holy Spirit. In this deep introversion he was often brought into low places and close searching of heart; producing very humiliating views of himself, of his attainments in the way of holiness, and of his faithfulness in occupying the gifts, and making a right return for the manifold mercies bestowed upon him. Not, as he said, that he found anything laid to his charge, or that there was any known duty which he had refused to perform; but such was his sense of the frailty of human nature, and the awfulness of the soul, when unclothed of mortality, being ushered into the immediate presence of infinite and immaculate Purity, that he felt there could be no hope for him, nor for any, but as in immeasurable condescension, an undoubted assurance was granted of acceptance through that Savior who died for poor lost man, and whose mercy covers the judgment-seat.

Although much restricted by lack of sight, and the continued though gradual decline of strength, from going far from home, he frequently attended different meetings in the city, and occasionally visited one or more in the country, at no great distance. It was always a source of satisfaction to him thus to mingle with his friends, to unite with them in waiting on the Lord, and in seeking for ability to render to Him acceptable worship in spirit and in truth. He was preserved in watchfulness over himself, and under an abiding concern that in his declining years he might do nothing that would bring a shade over the blessed cause he had so long espoused. His ministry, though not frequent, continued to be lively and weighty; sometimes inviting the young to take the yoke of Christ upon them, so that they might secure the proper enjoyment of the things of this world, and a well grounded hope of admittance into the company of saints and angels hereafter; and calling on his fellow-members not to rest satisfied with anything short of complete sanctification; that, being grafted into Christ, the living Vine, they might be made fruit-bearing branches, and through the renewings of the Holy Ghost, bring forth much fruit, to the glory of God the Father.

In the Sowings of gospel love toward his fellow-men, and especially toward those of the same household of faith, he often expressed his fervent desire for their establishment and growth in the unchangeable Truth; on several occasions remarking he felt that if he had but bodily ability, and it was his Master's will, he could cheerfully go forth once more through the Society, to preach the glad tidings of salvation.

As disease took stronger hold of his system, his breathing became much affected, and in the winter of 1866-67, he was unable for many days together to bear a recumbent position, so that it was difficult for him to obtain refreshing sleep, or to procure rest for his weary frame. His suffering, which was often great, was borne without complaint or murmur, often remarking that though he found the infirmities of the flesh as much as he could well endure, they were doubtless permitted in Divine wisdom, and were intended for his further refinement.

During his long confinement he continued to maintain a lively interest in the welfare of our religious Society, manifesting on different occasions the earnest travail of his soul that Friends might be drawn more nearly together in the love of the gospel, and be willing faithfully to support the doctrines and testimonies, which he believed the great Head of the Church had raised up the Society to exemplify to the world. He was frequently visited by many of his beloved fellow-members, ministers and others, and many precious opportunities were thus afforded for retirement before the Lord, and not unfrequently he was clothed with ability to minister to those present, as were others to speak in the language of comfort and encouragement to him. On more than one occasion he expressed his earnest desire that nothing might be said by any by way of commendation, nor, unless they felt divinely authorized, speak as though his salvation was secured, for he felt that the watch and the warfare must be continued to the end, if the crown immortal was through mercy obtained. Notwithstanding these humble views of himself, and the care manifested not to presume on any past experiences, he on more than one occasion intimated that his gracious Master had given him an assurance that when done with time he would be admitted into everlasting rest.

During the time of holding the Yearly Meeting in the Fourth month, 1867, he was frequently brought under much exercise. The separation from his friends when thus gathered to transact the affairs of the Church, a work which had long been dear and deeply interesting to him, was keenly felt; but was borne with patience and resignation. At different times his spirit was bowed in sympathy with his brethren, earnestly desiring that the various important subjects before the meeting might be resulted under the authority of Truth, and rejoicing when he heard of seasons of Divine favor being granted to the assembly.

The gradual aggravation of the symptoms of his disease continued, there being increased feebleness of the circulation and almost constant difficulty of breathing. During the last few days of his life, he conversed very little, not only because the oppression made it difficult for him to speak, but his mind appeared to be fixed in the contemplation of the change that awaited him, and in being fervently engaged to be found ready when the summons came.

His decease took place on the morning of the Twelfth of Fifth month, 1867; his redeemed spirit gently and peacefully leaving its suffering tenement of clay.

“Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth; yes, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, and their works do follow them.”

Journal of William Evans

Chapter I

1787—1813

Introduction—Parentage and Birth—School days—Apprenticeship—Divine Visitation—Religious Exercises—Notices of eminent Ministers—Views of the Church—Excursions from the City—Experience respecting true Faith—Enters into Business—Scruples respecting extensive Trade—Divine promise of a Sufficiency—Marriage—Reflections on visits to Watering Places—Visit from Susanna Home and T. Scattergood—War with Great Britain—Accompanies his Mother to Salem Quarterly Meeting.

For the purpose of commemorating the mercy and goodness of God extended to me from early life, and to encourage others to yield to the visitations and convictions of his Holy Spirit, that through obedience thereto the kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ may spread and prevail, I have believed it right from time to time, to preserve memorandums of his dealings with me, and to leave them as a testimony to his unfailing goodness and faithfulness to the children of men who love, serve, honor and put their trust in Him alone. And especially that my dear children, should they survive me, may be drawn more and more to dedicate themselves to the God of their fathers, and walking in the Truth all the days of their lives, become instrumental in the divine hand, in holding up to others the purity and spirituality of the religion of the Lord Jesus, as He, by his Holy Spirit, revealed it to the holy Apostles, and to those whom He made ministers and promulgators of it at the rise of our religious Society. I believe that George Fox, Robert Barclay, Isaac Penington, William Penn, George Whitehead, and many others, were divinely prepared and anointed by Christ Jesus, the minister of the sanctuary and true tabernacle which God has pitched and not man, for reviving and effectually preaching the same gospel of life and salvation, in its original purity and clearness, which had been much lost sight of through a long night of apostacy. And though the spirit of anti-Christ, and some, who are more or less darkened and deluded by it, may seek to obscure the spiritual nature of the gospel, as professed from the beginning by Friends, yet a blast will be brought over all such attempts in the Lord's time, and He will raise up from generation to generation, living witnesses of the power and coming of the Lord Jesus in his spiritual appearance in the souls of his children—who, as they are faithful in the day of small things to the unfoldings of his Spirit, will be qualified in living faith to call Jesus, Lord and Savior, both from what they have experienced of his redeeming power in their hearts, and from a true and certain belief of all the doctrines and precepts of the gospel as recorded in the Holy Scriptures.

My beloved and honored parents, Jonathan and Hannah Evans, were true believers in these doctrines, and their lives and conversation were consistent therewith. Walking in the simplicity and uprightness which the Truth leads into, they became bright examples in the church of Christ, and growing from stature to stature, were made pillars in the Lord's house, that went no more out.

I was born in Philadelphia, on the 5th of the Tenth month, 1787, and at a suitable age was placed at a school under the care of a member of the Monthly Meeting to which I belonged. I soon contracted a strong fondness for liberty and play in the streets with my school-fellows, with some of whom as I grew in years, I was at times involved in childish disputes, more excited by rude boys, who delighted to urge a Quaker child into broils, than from any fondness myself for such collision—though I felt a strong disinclination to submit to imposition.

I underwent much persecution in the street on account of a plain dress, an aversion to which increased with age. My mother watched over us with affectionate and religious solicitude, taking suitable opportunities to induce serious reflection, telling us that our Heavenly Father saw us wherever we were and knew all that we did—that He was displeased when we did wrong, and that there was a place of everlasting punishment if we died in sin—but on the contrary, He would continue to love us if we did right, and receive us into heaven if we thus lived and died in his favor. But she did not adopt the modern system, relying entirely upon reasoning with the children to convince their understanding, but at times resorted to correction to support authority and procure submission to her dictates.

Keeping to the truth and strict integrity were early inculcated and enforced, any departure from which brought distress over me.

Disinclination to restraint increased with years, and condemnation for sin rendered serious things and the society of religious people irksome to me. I sought the company of those whose passions and propensities were unsubjected, and took more satisfaction in their conversation than in the sobriety and reserve of the lovers of the cross. By such means corruption strengthened, the innocency of childhood was tarnished, and my carnal appetites began to seek indulgences totally at variance with purity of heart, and that life which my parents earnestly labored to inculcate and keep their children in.

In the year 1798, one of my brothers and myself were sent to the country for the school vacation, to board with Philip and Hannah Price, in Kingsessing township, where we remained till the yellow fever appeared in the city. Their son's family moving out there, we were taken to Darby and placed at school.

This was a sorrowful change to us—among strangers and in a family which seemed to have little interest in us. We felt keenly the separation from our parents, and those Friends in whose house we had enjoyed ourselves, and to whom we had become much attached, particularly Hannah Price, who had been very kind and attentive to us. Those feelings of sadness eventually subsided in a measure, and some persons coming into the family not very proper for us to associate with, I sought for gratification in their society, which was far from contributing to my benefit, and thereby the way was opened to temptation and increased insensibility. Being from under the care of my parents, who did not leave the city for several weeks, and released from the restraint which their example and presence often inspired, I indulged in light and loose conversation, for which I was brought under condemnation, and would have been ashamed they should have been apprised of.

It was a time of awful calamity in Philadelphia; many fled to the country, which made it difficult to procure accommodations, and as soon as it could be effected our family removed from the city into Upper Darby, where several of them were taken sick with the fever. This kept my brother and myself away from them longer than they desired. It is, however, very important to place children, when sent from home, with religious caretakers, who feel the obligation to watch over their morals, and to guard them from the contaminating influence of depraved domestics or persons hired as laborers, who have had little care bestowed upon their bringing up, and are not under the government of religious principles. We did not return to the city until late in the fall, after frost and snow; the malignancy of the fever rendering it unsafe for those who had been inhaling a pure atmosphere, to return before a thorough change had been effected by frost.

In the Fifth month, 1799, the boarding school at West-town, instituted by our Yearly Meeting, was opened for the reception of scholars, and I was one of the first twenty admitted there, my brother Joseph also remaining a few months. It was quite a novel scene, and required time before a proper system of order and government was established. Everything seemed in a crude state; the yards not laid out and regulated, shavings and chips from the hewed timber and the shingles, the woods grown up very thick with bushes, so that it was difficult to get through them, all contributed to give the whole a rude appearance. All this made work and amusement for the boys, who employed themselves under the supervision of the teachers in burning up the great beds of shavings, cutting openings for walks through the woods, and making arbors with seats to recreate themselves in during the warm weather.

The school was frequently visited by the committee of the Yearly Meeting who had the charge of the institution, and by ministers traveling through the country. Under their ministry and sometimes in the silent meetings, my mind was brought to contemplate the character of the holy men of old who served God in their generation, and sincere desires were sometimes felt that I might become like them. I was full of activity in the amusements and recreations which we were allowed, keeping pace with most of my schoolmates in the studies pursued at that early period of the school, and was quite contented, while some indulged a fault-finding disposition. Sometimes I took liberties with others in going beyond our prescribed bounds, but was restrained from any very flagrant violations of order, or joining the worst boys in bad language, or a systematic defiance of the authority of the teachers. On one provocation I used a bad expression resembling swearing, which struck me with horror.

Our anxious parents frequently wrote us letters containing excellent advice, showing their religious concern for our welfare; of which the following are extracts: From my mother, dated Fifth month, 21, 1799:

I hope my dear children you do not forget our anxious concern and solicitude for your good when present with us, and I trust it has not abated, but desires are raised that the Lord may be pleased to take you under his peculiar care and notice, and that you may indeed be afraid to offend Him in word or action. Be obedient to those who have the care over you, and kindly affectionate one to another. Endeavor after stillness, and remember the many favors you receive; and may the reverent inquiry of your minds be, What shall I render unto the Lord for all his blessings? Your dear father set off this morning with Ruth A. Rutter and Sarah Cresson to Rhode Island, and as he had not time to write, desired his love to be remembered to you, and that you would let us hear from you as often as you can.

With desires for your preservation in the innocency and simplicity of the Truth I conclude.

Your affectionate mother,

Hannah Evans.

After my beloved father's return from his journey with E. A. Rutter and S. Cresson, he wrote us frequently—from one of his letters the following is taken:

Philadelphia, 19th of Second month, 1800.

My Dear Children,

I have been much concerned on your account for some time past, understanding several of the boys had given a great deal of trouble to those who had the care of them; and though I could scarcely think either of you were of the number, yet not hearing anything particular, my mind was made very uneasy, but I hope better things of you. And if at any time you feel any disquietude of mind, be patient and endeavor to bear your trials in meekness, looking with reverent confidence to your great Creator, who compassionately regards every sigh and tear of the sincere in heart; whether they be children or more advanced in years. But then we must also at all times strive to conduct so as not to grieve the Holy Spirit in our hearts, which is a continual witness against every evil thought, word or action. Let your innocent, circumspect deportment be observed by all; join not with any in the least evil, but let the fear of the Lord be ever present with you, and that will keep you harmless, and make you dear unto him and to all good people.

Your mother joins me in near love to you both, desiring your welfare every way. Your loving father,

Jonathan Evans.

Philadelphia, 21st of Ninth month, 1800.

Dear Children,

Feeling desirous at all times you may do well, I cannot but endeavor to revive in your remembrance the necessity of attending with all diligence, to the small, gentle intimations and reproofs of the Holy Spirit of Truth in your own minds. Keep near to its blessed instructions at all times, and it will preserve in every season of trial and difficulty, and as an inexhaustible fountain, sustain your little minds when depressed with anxious thoughts or discouraging fears. This is the alone way to happiness here or blessedness hereafter. For in obedience to this light in our minds, we are brought to love the Lord our most gracious Redeemer above all, and by Him are regarded as his children, which is treasure indeed, that raises the spirit above earthly pleasures, to a sense of the unspeakable comforts in the regions of immortal bliss. Here, in this state the fear of death is taken away, because we know that in the presence of the Lord there is life, and as we are kept near him, nothing can hurt us. Now, my dear children, let me earnestly entreat you, to mind the reproofs which you feel for doing wrong; this is the Spirit of Truth I have been speaking of, and as you carefully attend to it, it will lead into all truth—you will fear to offend by a repetition of those things, for which you have been reproved. It penetrates through every covering, and no dissimulation can possibly escape its all-searching power. Whenever through unwatchfulness you have given way to temptation, and by the merciful calls of this holy teacher, you become sensible of it, retire alone, and endeavor to get your minds drawn from every outward thing, to a reverential waiting upon your Holy Creator for a renewal of his light and grace upon you, that you may be strengthened to resist the enemy of all good in his future attempts; and be sure to avoid those things that have thus beguiled you, and brought distress upon the tender mind; for in this watchful state your minds will often be tendered, and at times sincere petitions will ascend for preservation, and support in this world of vanity and trouble.

Your affectionate father,

Jona. Evans.

Philadelphia, Fifth month 6th, 1801.

Dear Child,

I received your letter dated 4th inst., and was glad to hear of yourself and sister being in health, which is a blessing among the many received, we ought to be thankful for.

Indeed, many are the obligations we are under to that bountiful hand from which all our blessings flow. Let us then evince our gratitude by endeavoring to love Him above all, and then we shall be afraid to offend Him in thought, word or deed. My dear child, I feel anxious for your preservation, and desire you may be careful to associate with such of your school-mates, as are most seriously inclined; and be sure not to do anything, in the absence of those who have the care over you, that you would be afraid they should know, or that would in any degree wound your own mind. Learn to love silence; and seek for strength, that you may be preserved in time of temptation.

With love to yourself and sister, conclude your affectionate mother, Hannah Evans.

My brother had been taken from the school at this time on account of his health, and one of my sisters introduced there—The above letter, expressive of the best wishes of an anxious and affectionate mother, was addressed to me, but at that time I was too full of my own plans for recreation and enjoyment, to give that heed to such solicitude for a wild son, as I ought to have done, yet I have no doubt these admonitions had a restraining influence, and at times tended to bring me to some serious reflection.

In the Second month of 1802, being then a little over fourteen years of age, I was removed from the school, having been there about two years and nine months, and being rather young to be placed an apprentice, my father got me into the counting-house of two Friends, in the flour business, in order to acquire some knowledge of book-keeping. Their store was on the wharf, and when there was nothing urgent in the business, my inclination led me into the company of persons in the neighborhood whose sentiments and habits were not congenial with a religious life; and thus had it not been for the mercy of my Heavenly Father, I was in great danger of entering rapidly the broad way to destruction. The yellow fever again appeared in the city this summer, and after leaving the store on that account, I did not return to it, but in the fall of the year 1802, was apprenticed to a Friend to learn the drug business. Being introduced to a strange family and business, I endured new difficulties. It was the business of my choice, but after the novelty had in measure subsided, I began to question whether I had made a proper selection, and for a while felt unsettled; but reflecting that it was done after some deliberation, and that if I left it for any other, I might find the same difficulty to contend with, I concluded to endeavor to make myself satisfied, hoping that I should find it as suitable as any other I could adopt, and accordingly applied myself to the business and the interests of my master, as well as I was capable.

In my new situation I had many temptations to war with from within and without. The business of a store that was much frequented, subjected me to interaction with those who knew little or nothing of the work of religion, and a volatile, active spirit often led me from under the cross into converse with such, by which I suffered loss. I was much separated from the care of anxious and exercised parents, and though I was afraid of close intimacy with young persons who were of a libertine class, yet more or less I was drawn into the company of two of them residing near the store, but their wicked habits and conversation created a dread in me of being joined to and carried into their depraved practices. One fine winter evening, my master's sleigh and horses having been out, he told the apprentices we might take a ride, and accordingly with one of these young men, we set off, and rode out a few miles to the bank of the Schuylkill, where this young man proposed we should go into a tavern and get something to drink. This was a new proposition to me, upon which I hesitated—having never been accustomed to go to taverns, or drink anything like ardent spirits. We got out of the sleigh, but I did not move from the side of it, and while hesitating, the countenance of my father presented to my view, as though he had suddenly appeared before me, which immediately conveyed the idea of disapprobation, and I gave my voice against going into the tavern, and we accordingly resumed our seats and rode home. This was an evidence of the watchful care of the unslumbering Shepherd of the sheep, in bringing to my mind the conviction, that were my father present I would not dare to go into such a place, and further shows the importance of the circumspect deportment of parents before their children, and of the application of salutary restraint towards them.

Notwithstanding I had been thus far carefully educated and watched over by my parents, attended steadily the meetings for worship to which I belonged, and had been taught in the principles of the Christian religion as set forth in the New Testament, and in the writings and journals of Friends; believing that Jesus Christ was the Savior of the world, that He died for all mankind, and would save all who were obedient to Him: that my Heavenly Father who is almighty, saw me wherever I was and every thought and every action that I did, and by his Holy Spirit in the heart convicted me for sin, bringing me under the fear of death and everlasting torment, but gave peace whenever I resisted temptation and did right; yet so far as I can remember, I had never yet had a full sense of my lost condition, and the necessity of an entire change of heart, in order that I might be brought into his favor, and sanctified so as to be fitted for spiritual communion with Him. My father frequently read the Bible to us, as well as other religious books, particularly on First-day. One evening when collected for that purpose, I read to the family William Leddra's epistle, written the day before he was executed. It had a very powerful effect on me, tendering my heart in an unusual degree, and bringing me to trembling; under which I was favored with an extraordinary visitation of heavenly love, producing a sense of my sinful, impure condition, and fervent desires after holiness—that I might become changed, and hereafter live a life of acceptance with my Heavenly Father. I had never had the same view of myself, nor felt the same willingness and desire to dedicate myself to Him as at that time. The savor of it continued many days. The light of Christ shone clearly into my heart, showing me that many of my habits were contrary to the Divine purity and must be abandoned—that many of my words were light and unsavory, and a guard must be placed at the door of my lips. Love flowed in my heart towards my gracious Almighty Parent pre-eminently, and then towards all men as brethren and creatures of the same all-powerful hand. I desired above all things to be with Jesus, and to know Him to continue with me, and at that time it seemed as if He did condescend to manifest himself in a clear manner, so that his countenance was lovely, and I walked under his guidance and protection with great delight. It was the baptism unto repentance, the day of my espousals—the beginning of a new life; and while favored with these heavenly feelings, I thought nothing would be too hard to part with in obedience to the will of my Savior.

From this time I began to love retirement and serious meditation, and to present myself in the presence of the Lord to partake of his favor, and know my strength from time to time renewed. I felt more than ever bound to be faithful to my master in all things, both in the performance of the duties of the station, and in taking care of his property and the interests of the business; appropriating nothing to my own use that did not belong to me. To do justly and faithfully in all things as in the Divine sight, was one of the earliest requisitions. If I accidentally broke anything of value, I was not easy to conceal it from him, though sometimes it was a trial to tell him of it, but when I did inform him under feelings of regret, it seemed to disarm him from blaming me.

The heavenly visitation which I have described was like the baptism of love unto repentance, in which I felt confident, like Peter, of adhering closely to the Master, though others might forsake Him. He knew when it was proper to withdraw those sensible manifestations of his presence and support under which I was forming such conclusions, and when the dispensation was changed, and no comeliness could be seen in Him or in myself, I soon found that my constancy would be easily shaken.

There was a wilderness travel to pass through, in which I was to feel the strength of my evil propensities, and the subtlety and power of Satan as I never yet had witnessed. The change was hard to endure, and though I strove for a time to maintain the ground I had taken, yet being assailed again and again with temptation, and looking at it instead of looking towards Him, who alone could preserve me, I let go my faith in his unfailing regard, concluded I might as well gratify myself this once, and when I had yielded, distress came upon me. Having cast away my shield, I felt like a poor fallen creature, unworthy of Divine notice, and not likely to be again favored with it.

Shut up in darkness the tempter vaunted over me, and suggested that it was not worth while for me to attempt to walk in the narrow way, that I would not be able to resist and control my passions and inclinations, and therefore might as well continue to indulge them.

To be thus overcome at the commencement of the warfare, and so soon deprived of those heavenly sensations which I had enjoyed in the presence and company of the Deliverer of the captive soul, filled me with sadness, and I went mourning on my way. Divine displeasure was administered, but in the midst of judgment, the Lord remembered mercy, and through the operation of his blessed Spirit, brought me again into tenderness of heart, and I was humbled under a sense of my unworthiness of his condescension and love towards such a poor rebellious creature.

I was educated in the belief that divine worship was performed in spirit and in truth, and that the qualification for this essential duty was to be waited for in the silence of all flesh. When in meeting I endeavored to have my mind gathered from all visible things, and at times was favored with the presence of the Shepherd and Bishop of souls, who is in the midst of those who are met together in his name, sometimes tendering my spirit with his goodness, and at others instructing me in those things which pertain to salvation; and I felt it to be a religious duty diligently to attend all the meetings to which I belonged as they came in course.

My father's house was visited by many of the most substantial Friends, of whose company I was glad, and was interested and instructed by their solid conversation, and sometimes by religious opportunities in the family. Thomas Scattergood, whose first wife was a sister of my mother, frequently visited us, and having a peculiar gift for entering into the condition of others, he mostly had a word of counsel or encouragement to the children.

Having never been accustomed to keep much company, and believing that a retired life was best for me, I contracted very little intimacy, excepting with one or two persons of a serious character. Our business required attention until 10 o'clock in the evening, and when it was my turn to be at the store at night, if the business admitted of it, I passed the time in meditation, and reading religious, historical or scientific works. I had frequent conversation on points of doctrine with an orderly young man, a methodist, apprenticed in the neighborhood to the same business, and a few times accompanied him to their meeting, out of curiosity to observe their mode of worship; but I never saw anything among them that attracted me, or produced any dissatisfaction with my own religious profession.

On the contrary, in some of their prayer meetings, the passions appeared to be much excited, and their efforts to convert persons from their evil ways, that they might “get religion,” as they call it, seemed to operate much through the nervous system.

Familiar association with other professors, or attending their meetings, appears to me quite improper for the members of our Society. Those whose feelings are lively may be caught by the excitement, and receive a bias which may unsettle them a long time, perhaps through life. If we keep to our divine Lord and Master, He will instruct us in the mysteries of his kingdom, and nourish with the bread and water of life which He gives, by which the inner man will be strengthened, and the soul made wiser than all teachers who are acting in their own spirit. “He that drinks of this water shall thirst again, but he that drinks of the water that I shall give him,” said Christ, “shall never thirst, but it shall be in him a well of water springing up unto everlasting life.”

I had now put my hand to the plough, and hoped never to look back again into the condition I was once in; but a long fight of affliction was passed through, before I was in any good degree brought from under the bonds of corruption. Refraining from company, tended to keep me out of the way of the gross evils which abound in populous cities, yet for lack of watchfulness and close obedience to the will of my Heavenly Father, I was often overcome by temptation, which brought great distress upon me. In my trouble I looked towards Him whom I had offended, and in mercy He would bring me up out of the pit and put a new song of thanksgiving into my heart. These seasons of rejoicing were succeeded by feelings of great strippedness, and instead of keeping the faith and patiently waiting for the appearance of my Lord, I was too easily drawn aside again by a light and frothy spirit, and received fresh wounds from my enemy. He seemed to rejoice over me, and suggested that it was impossible for me to overcome, which I was sometimes ready to fear would be the case; yet through all my combats, the power of darkness over me, and the strength of my propensities to evil, gradually diminished. I frequently walked into solitary places, either for the purpose of meditation or to bemoan my condition, and one dark night in the skirts of the city, where no sound was heard but the howling of some dogs, I thought the state of my mind bore a strong resemblance to the darkness of the night and the doleful noise of those creatures.

When I was thus plunged, and endeavored to bear it patiently and steadfastly, He whose tender mercies are over all his works, again appeared in the needful time with healing in his wings, and then I rejoiced in his judgments as well as his mercies, and would be thankful that I had endured instead of seeking relief in a wrong way.

At one time when I was passing through much mental conflict, an impression was distinctly made upon my mind that at a certain period I should be favored with a renewed visitation.

It was a season of great trial to Friends of this city, in which I partook very keenly according to my capacity; and when it had in some measure passed over, a divine visitation was extended to me of the most remarkable character I had yet experienced; in which I saw in the openings of divine light, the power of darkness from which all temptation proceeded, and was also favored to see the power of divine Grace which was over all, and as it is obeyed, would effectually give the victory over all sin to those who unreservedly give themselves up to it. I never had before such a clear and undoubted sense of the two powers of light and life, and of death and darkness, and my faith was strong and unshaken in the unlimited superiority of the former over the latter. But instead of hiding it in my own heart and quietly dwelling under its heavenly operation, I spoke of it too freely to my religious companions, desirous that they should see it as clearly as I did, and thereby talked it much away, and failed to partake of the full benefit of the divine visitation as I ought to have done.

During my apprenticeship there was a large body of substantial ministers and elders of extraordinary gifts belonging to our Yearly Meeting; and as I made progress, though slowly and often in a halting way, in religious experience, my concern strengthened to attend meetings for discipline, as well as for worship.

Those large annual assemblies, where there was such a concentration of gifts, talents and religious weight, were very interesting, especially when a concern for the welfare and encouragement of the young members took hold of them. George Dillwyn, who reminded me of the beloved disciple that leaned on Jesus' bosom, rarely forgot those who were in difficulty and needed help, and he was at times very instructive in his application of doctrine to the different states and growths, and very cheering to the youthful disciple. The gravity with which they sat in those assemblies, and the solemnity with which many of them delivered their sentiments were impressive on young minds, and tended to inspire a love for the religion which produced such men, and such fruits, and for the beauty and dignity of the church and its concerns. Eli Yarnall was remarkable for the inwardness of his spirit, his great caution in speaking, and the peculiar brightness of his countenance, reminding me of Stephen, of whom, it is said, that all who beheld him, “saw his face as it had been the face of an angel.”

Our Quarterly Meeting was held in the North house, in Key's alley. A large number of ministers belonged to it; and during my minority Ann Alexander paid a religious visit to this country, whose Gospel labors were evidently from a living spring. At one of these meetings she foretold in a very impressive manner the reduction of the ministers, and the scarcity of spiritual food instrumentally communicated. I concluded then to treasure up the prediction for the purpose of ascertaining what dependence could be placed upon it—and it has since been fully and strikingly realized. A number in that station were in a few years removed by death, others have fallen away, several joined with the separation which took place in 1827, and very few in our Quarterly Meeting have since been raised up.

William Savery, a minister much beloved and very decided in his public testimony to the divinity, and the various offices of our Lord Jesus Christ, died during my apprenticeship. I attended the Market street Meeting on the evening of the 25th of the Twelfth month when he preached, appearing to be in a declining state of health, and which I believe was the last time he appeared in the ministry in a public meeting. What made the opportunity more impressive was his pallid countenance, and the text with which he rose, “Abraham saw my day and was glad,” and which he uttered with a heavenly spirit and solemn tone of voice. This was the subject of all others which lay near his heart—and he was an indefatigable advocate for the truths and the importance of Christianity, Rebecca Jones, a minister and mother in Israel, who had paid a religious visit to Friends in England, and was highly esteemed by her contemporaries, for religious experience, a sound judgment and spiritual discernment, resided in this city, and her house was frequented by ministers and elders, and the younger members coming under the love of the Truth, who sought the benefit of her counsel and instructive conversation. Her circumstances were limited—at one time she kept a school for small children—and sold some books and articles of dress worn by females of plain habit. Among others who visited her compact habitation in Brooke's court, I was one who found the way there, after being brought under religious concern. She treated her young friends in a kind and affable manner, and yet with Christian dignity and gravity; sometimes entertaining them with anecdotes of her early religious life, or her travels, particularly in Europe, having in view the object of drawing them into a love for the Truth, or strengthening their desires and resolutions to persevere in the good way in which they had commenced walking. She told me that when quite a young woman, after the power of Truth had taken hold of her heart, and brought her to seek for those things which belong to the everlasting welfare of the immortal soul, she was introduced to the house of Daniel Stanton, then one of the principal ministers in this city. It was a place of resort for the young converts of that time, and deriving much help from the society of that valuable man, she then concluded if she ever became a housekeeper, her house should be open to the visits of persons seeking after heavenly treasure. Her conclusions were realized to the comfort of many. In a little religious communication one evening to a young Friend and myself, she gave us the excellent advice, which had been given to her in early experience, “Keep near to Truth, and the friends of Truth, and the Truth will keep you.”

It made a strong impression, and so far I have realized its verity, and have had frequent occasion to hand it to others. To have such a Friend to resort to when beset with temptation, or closely tried with desertion and poverty of spirit, was a great benefit to the weary, inexperienced traveler; from whose company we sometimes returned comforted and cheered to hold on our way.

My uncle Thomas Scattergood's residence was a house of similar resort, where the mourner found a deeply sympathizing friend, and the young soldier one who had large experience in the trials of the spiritual warfare, and who gladly seized the opportunity of cheering him on to victory. Sometimes when I have visited him, and would silently sit without doing anything to prompt him to conversation,—for he passed much time in meditation and in communion with the Lord,—he would brighten up, and enter into the subject which he knew had taken hold of my mind, and relate portions of his own experience and travels—or of the openings of Truth in his mind relative to the great cause of universal righteousness, and the events passing in Christendom. He was not only remarkable for the gift of the ministry of the gospel of life and salvation, but also for the spirit of prophecy, with which he was at times clearly endowed, and under which he often foretold coming events; being a man who lived in the Spirit and walked in the Spirit, and to whom the Lord condescended to make known his secrets relating to the spiritual condition of others, and of his works among the children of men. I loved him much, and he manifested his love and interest for me, like a tender father in the Truth.

As I advanced through my apprenticeship, at times deeply afflicted that I did not gain that victory over my passions and propensities, which I believed through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the obedient soul would attain—at others' consoled with his peace and the blessed hope that I should eventually be made a conqueror, over all the powers of darkness; I was often favored with clear views of the condition of the true church, clothed with the sun, having the moon under her feet, and of the certainty that the prophecies would be fulfilled in the Lord's way and time, when the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, and righteousness shall cover it as the waters do the sea. It then appeared clearly to me, that the members of our religious Society collected in the capacity of Yearly, Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, ought individually, as members of Christ's visible church, to wait upon Him for wisdom, ability and authority, to engage in and to manage the affairs of the church. That the work is the Lord's; that it is his prerogative to select whom he will to take an active part therein; and that such should depend upon the immediate aid of his Holy Spirit, in the discharge of the various duties, which pertain to the oversight of the flock—in reclaiming or disowning transgressors, and in the general administration of the discipline. Also that those who were not called upon to take so active a part as some others, would nevertheless have their allotment of service, both in a silent, spiritual travail for the prevalence of Divine life and power in our meetings, and at times in showing their unity with the judgment and concerns of others.

The dignified station of a minister and messenger of the gospel of Christ, for the purpose of gathering souls to Him and exalting his name and kingdom among men, was opened before me, and I fully believed that all who are rightly placed in that honorable office, are made ministers by Christ himself; and that what they preach should be from the direct openings and communication of his Spirit in the heart, who only knows when his flock need instrumental help, and what is suited to their respective conditions. These things I was favored to see in the light of the Lord Jesus, and at times I felt as if I could stand forth as a servant under his authority to proclaim the glad tidings of life and salvation, and gather souls in the gospel net.

While an apprentice, I accompanied my mother and two other ministers of our meeting to Cain Quarterly Meeting. This introduced me to some substantial Friends in the country, whose society and conversation were very interesting and instructive, particularly of that innocent-spirited and lively minister, James Wilson of the Western Quarter, who was then at Cain. To sit down in a strange meeting and partake of sensations either of enjoyment or suffering, and to mingle with Friends at the different houses where we were entertained, was a new scene, and gave rise to views and feelings, of a cast contributing to my attachment to the cause of Truth. At another time I was sent to Oley with Mercy Ellis and her companion, who had visited the families of our Monthly Meeting. It took us two days to accomplish it. We put up at Thomas Lee's, and on the following morning I intended to return, but the weather set in wet and I was persuaded to stay their meeting.

Among strangers and the weather gloomy, I felt depressed; but going to their meeting, my mind was replenished with a sense of the love of my Heavenly Father, which was a full reward for the difficulty I had in taking these dear Friends thus far on their journey homeward. I believe it is good for young people to be in the way of the society of substantial Friends, and to cherish a disposition to wait upon them and aid them in the prosecution of their religious services: a blessing will attend those who render such assistance from sincere motives, inasmuch as “he that gives to one of these a cup of cold water, in the name of a disciple, shall receive a disciple's reward.”

David Sands, an eminent minister belonging to New York Yearly Meeting, visited our city about this period. His ministry was peculiar, addressed to the states of the people, and at times describing in very vivid terms the joys of a future state prepared for the righteous, which had a quickening effect. He came to my father's house; I felt a particular desire that he would preach to one of my brothers and myself, he being reputed a man who was favored with a clear discernment of the conditions of people. He did address us in that way, but not according to my wishes. He simply told us that we knew the path we should walk in, and exhorted us to keep in it.

But I wanted something more definite and impressive, like the Syrian, a little display of divine power and condescension in opening our particular states. In the course of my exercises, I was at times persuaded that it would become my place to engage in the work of the ministry; and had I been faithful in denying self and steadfastly bearing the cross as I ought to have done, it is not improbable I should have been sufficiently reduced into the state of a little child, so as to be entrusted with the gift at an earlier period of life. But my unstable nature was hard to curb, and though this prospect at times presented, and some hints were given by others, yet not having a distinct pointing of duty to engage in it, and being persuaded of the great importance of being right in that weighty work, I dared not to put forth a hand, until the period came round in which a necessity was laid upon me, and the fear came over me, that by putting off, I should be left in darkness.

About the seventeenth year of my age, our beloved friend Sarah Cresson, a valuable minister, staying then at my father's, suggested whether I would not derive benefit from reading Robert Barclay's Apology. I had occasionally looked into it, but not thoroughly, and at her suggestion, I went through the work, which was of use, confirming me in the doctrines of the Christian religion as held by Friends, and as they were opened to me in reading the Holy Scriptures. I consider it the clearest and best argumentative exposition of the principles and the effects of the Christian religion, in print.

After having passed through many baptisms and mortifying dispensations in order to reduce the old inhabitants of the land; and also experienced many seasons of divine consolation, wherein I was enabled to pour out my soul before the Lord, and fervently to desire to be made one of his children, and to serve Him all the days of my life, it pleased Him to hide his face from me, and to withdraw the sensible influences of his blessed Spirit; through which alone we derive living faith, and are enabled savingly to believe in Him. The enemy soon took advantage of this bereaved condition, and started the doubt whether Jesus Christ was my Savior. I remembered that He had declared: “My sheep hear my voice and they follow me;” and then I began to doubt whether I was one of his sheep; for Satan insinuated that I had never heard his voice. This was a new trial; but when I was so clouded that I could not be certain I had really heard the voice of the true Shepherd, then the devil raised the doubt, whether Jesus Christ was the Son of God; and without having done anything that I knew of, to bring myself into this state, I found I was incapable of really believing in the Savior of the world. I felt no disposition to deny or to reject Him, but I could not command that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, which I had heretofore, as I once thought, possessed.

Great distress and anxiety came upon me. Unwilling to lose my faith, I searched the Holy Scriptures, and diligently read various religious works which I hoped would restore the lost pearl; but it was all in vain. I was utterly unable to regain my faith in Christ, which had been an anchor to my soul in many tossings and tempests. For a long time I was kept shut up in this condition, until I gave over searching books, or striving to satisfy myself by any argument. I looked up to my Heavenly Father, but all was hid from me, and I wondered how it was, that I should be unable to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, who I had been taught to believe and never before doubted, was the Savior; and yet through all, something kept me steadfast and patient; and I never told any one of my suffering condition.

One evening as I was walking out for meditation, according to my frequent custom, with my mind turned towards the Lord, He whom my soul sought above all things, suddenly came to his temple, and by his Holy Spirit, revived my faith, and gave me to see, that He alone is the author of that faith which enters within the vail, and gives victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil; and that it is not founded merely on what is read, but is really of the operation of God on the heart. I rejoiced exceedingly and gave thanks to Him who is worthy of all praise and honor, and who will not give his glory to another. I could now firmly believe in the Lord Jesus as my Savior, because of the renewed revelation by the Holy Spirit giving me that faith in Him—and through mercy I have never since been permitted to feel any doubt respecting his divinity, his mediation, or any of his offices in the redemption and salvation of man. I record this under a sense of my own nothingness, and for the purpose of exalting the glory of his Grace; believing that the foundation of true gospel, saving faith is the immediate manifestations of the Holy Spirit, and it is this which draws the dedicated soul to Christ, and enables it to believe in Him savingly, to rely upon and to follow Him in the regeneration, as our Redeemer and the Captain of our salvation. This faith works by love, and this love is evidenced and maintained in obedience. No man can be in the true faith unless Jesus Christ dwells in him; and where He rules, the fruits and the works of the Spirit will be brought forth; and the faith of such, though it may be tried as gold in the fire, will be renewed from time to time, and give the victory over all the powers of darkness.

Although this trial occurred some time before I was of age, I have often referred to it since as a peculiar favor and blessing, especially when the separation of the Hicksites drew on; inasmuch, as that turned upon the denial of the divinity and atonement of the Lord Jesus—and also when some have been disposed to make the Holy Scriptures the origin and foundation of true faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. They are an invaluable record of all those things most surely believed by the faithful followers of Christ, who have the opportunity of reading them, but it is God alone who can give true and saving faith in his beloved Son and in the truths of the Gospel, and it is by his mercy we are preserved to the end in possession of that faith.

When I became of age the prospect of commencing business for myself involved me in serious thoughtfulness, but as it was for my support, I took a house and opened a drug store in a moderate way, in the Twelfth month, 1808; but while it was a necessary duty to provide for my own subsistence, the kingdom of heaven and the righteousness thereof were in my view, primary to everything else. I set out with the desire to have the world kept under foot, and to devote myself to the Lord and to whatever service He might call to; at the same time it was my settled conviction, that to provide things honest in the sight of all men is a bound duty where health permits, and that in the prosecution of business, strict integrity in dealing, and a scrupulous guard against contracting debts without ability to discharge them, and to live within the limits of our income, are also duties indispensable to the Christian.

I had a great fear of bringing any shade or reproach upon the profession of the Truth, or upon the Society to which I belonged; and whenever any business presented, however profitable, which appeared to me to conflict with either, I felt most easy to decline engaging in it. Although my transactions were on a small scale, and consequently did not open the way for the accumulation of riches, which sometimes was humiliating, and produced sensations of dissatisfaction that I was not likely to stand among men as independent as many others, or procure the accommodations which they had, yet I never was involved in any difficulty in timely meeting my engagements, and was always able to provide every comfort in life that I desired.

Since that day I have observed some among us who had succeeded in accumulating wealth, plain in their garb and active in religious society, who looked upon those who were in small business with contempt, and at times spoke slightly of their scruples respecting Friends engaging in extensive concerns.

But the latter have a refuge which cannot be assailed by the pride or arrogance of man, into which they are often permitted to flee and find safety. Whenever I was subjected to sensations of that kind, retirement to my divine Lord and Master, committing myself and the course I had taken to Him, and looking to Him for consolation and the recompense of reward at the end of the race, raised me above these earthly and sordid views, and gave me an authority and dominion over that spirit, of which none could deprive me. Wealth and the importance arising from it were nothing to me, and not worthy of comparison with a place in the Lord's house, and the honor and dignity with which He clothes his humble, faithful children.

1809. Business opening very slowly in the following spring, If It concerned lest it should not prove adequate to my necessities, and one day sitting in the store seriously and solitarily contemplating my prospects, my gracious Master condescended to show me that if I was faithful to his requirings, I should never lack food nor raiment. The language and impression were so clear, humbling my heart before Him, that I believed his word, and thereby proved that that faith, of which He is the author, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen; my mind firmly and peacefully rested in it, as much as it would have done in an independent estate, although no change in the business very soon occurred.

On the 11th of the Twelfth month, 1811, I was married to Deborah, daughter of Aaron and Abigail Musgrave. Some time before, she had been brought under the convicting power of Truth, with several other young persons who attended our meeting, and was strengthened to exchange a life of gaiety and mirth for one of simplicity and humble walking with her divine Lord and Master, and was then received a member among Friends. Our engagement was not entered upon without the requisite deliberation, and strong desire to be preserved from taking such an important step, unless accompanied with a sense of divine approbation. This was graciously afforded by Him whom we desired to obey in all things; and although many years were not allowed for our earthly pilgrimage together, yet the few were passed in much sweetness of fellowship, and their termination was a bitter cup to the survivor.

Being now settled in life, my time was necessarily occupied with the various duties pertaining to a proper provision for a family; which were attended to in unison with that dedication to the will of my Heavenly Father, and to the various services of religious society, which I felt of indispensable obligation and connected with a growth in the life of religion. I was not without seasons of close trial and humiliation, all which were needed to humble my proud and volatile spirit; and had I maintained more faithfully the watch, I should have made more progress in the Christian warfare, and attained a deeper and firmer establishment in religious weight and solidity.

In the summer of 1812, I went with several members of our meeting to Long Branch for the purpose of sea bathing. It was the first view I had of the ocean, and standing on the beach contemplating the works of the Almighty hand, man seemed like a speck in comparison with the irresistible force of such a vast body, when its mighty billows are wrought into fury by the power of the tempest. We put up at a private house with few besides ourselves, and attended the meeting at Shrewsbury.

At that time it was a place of little resort compared with what it has been since. To weakly or sick persons, sea air and bathing are doubtless often useful; but amongst the mixed companies that resort to these watering places, there are many incitements to throw off the restraints of the cross, and to fall in with the current of fashion and dissipation, and the use of language and manners quite at variance with our religious profession.

Being removed from the society of parents and religious friends, and consequently from under the influence of their example and their known sentiments in opposition to these corrupt liberties, a salutary restraint is withdrawn, which makes it easier for young persons to take liberties they would not resort to under their supervision; and they may be too easily induced to frequent those places, where they may receive moral wounds more dangerous than the physical disorders which they seek to have cured.

Voluntary subscriptions being set on foot to create a fund for the erection of an asylum for the benefit of persons deprived of the use of their reason,—members of our religious society and professors with us,—I accompanied one or two Friends in soliciting the subscriptions of some of our members, and found that the proposed institution was generally approved. Much good has been conferred on that afflicted class since that day, who have been placed in it, and doubtless it had a right origin.

First month 27th, 1813. Susanna Home from England, and Thomas Scattergood each opened in our Monthly Meeting a religious concern to visit the families, which was united with.

They came to our house on the 29th, and had a religious opportunity with my wife and myself. My uncle Scattergood sat a considerable time in deep silence after Susanna had relieved her mind. He seemed impressed with a sense of afflictions to come, and then spoke on the necessity of close adherence to the internal guide, in order to witness preservation on the sure foundation in times of deep trial, that might be permitted to assail, for farther purification, and preparation to bear burdens that may be assigned or permitted to come upon us.

Our country being now at war with Great Britain, business was much at a stand, and the state of the country at large was gloomy and distressing. At such a time wickedness is let loose, and unprincipled men strive to gain the ascendency in power, manifesting very little feeling for those who are conscientiously restrained from falling in with the current. A bill was introduced this spring into the legislature of this State for a new organization of the militia, containing provisions that would operate with great severity upon Friends. Our Meeting for Sufferings prepared a remonstrance against it, which was taken to Harrisburg by a committee appointed for that purpose. The bill was finally thrown out by the Senate, and of course did not become a law.

Fifth month 7th. The sudden death of the Friend who had very faithfully waited on Susanna Home in her travels in this country, produced strong sensations among his friends and acquaintance. He had taken up his saddle-bags at his own house to set off in order to meet her in New Jersey, when he fell on the floor, having been previously sick at the stomach and complained of pain in the head; and though great efforts were made by several physicians, they were unable to revive him. Information of the afflicting event was communicated to Susanna Home, and she came to the city and attended the burial on the 9th, being first day. She knelt in supplication at the grave side, and Arthur Howell and Thomas Scattergood spoke in testimony to the dedication of the Friend, and their undoubted persuasion that he now enjoyed a mansion among the blessed. The suddenness of his death when apparently in usual health, and just intending to set out on a journey, was an impressive instance of the great uncertainty of life, and a loud call to faithfulness to the manifested will of our Heavenly Father, that when our day is over, we may be ready to meet the awful Judge of quick and dead.

The English vessels of war being now on our coast, and committing depredations in many places, the coasting trade was almost entirely stopped, which kept away from the neighborhood of my store, which was in sight of the river, most of the craft usually there. This greatly lessened what little business I had, and could not but produce serious thoughtfulness in relation to the means of subsistence.

In the fall of this year my beloved mother, being liberated by the Monthly Meeting to visit the Meetings composing Salem Quarter, and the two on Great Egg Harbor, I drove the carriage, Ann Offley being her companion. John Baldwin, a minister living near Downingtown, Chester county, Pennsylvania, and Isaac W. Morris in another carriage, went in company.

We travelled in much harmony, visited all the meetings, in the course of which we had some solid opportunities, and returned the last day of the Eleventh month.

Chapter II

1813—1819

Proposed change of Business—Uneasiness therewith—Relinquishes it and finds Peace—Before a Court Martial—Reflections on the Unchristian Practice of War—Peace Principles applicable to National Government—Death of T. Scattergood—Commencement of his Wife's last Illness—Her Character and Convincement—Her last Sickness and Death—Weighty Expressions during her Illness—Accompanies his Mother on a Religious Visit—Goes to reside with his Parents—Accompanies his Mother to New York Yearly Meeting—Death of his Father-in-law—Accompanies his Mother to New England Yearly Meeting—First Appearance in the Ministry—Source of True Faith—Necessity of keeping to First Principles—Death of Sarah Wilson.

In consequence of the war with England, business was much depressed, and having the expenses of a family to meet, which it seemed improbable, if the difficulties continued, the little I had to do, would be sufficient for, I became so dissatisfied that I resolved to make some change. A relative, who was a dealer in dry goods, wanting a partner, I concluded to join him as soon as the war was brought to a close, and made arrangements to borrow a sum of money, which with that employed by him, was deemed a sufficient capital. The prospect of the connection, and engaging in a business that looked likely to be profitable, was animating and pleasant; and from the feelings of my mind, I thought I had given the subject ample consideration.

We entered upon some of the preparatory steps, which brought us frequently together, and to converse upon the business and the manner of conducting it. As I was led into a knowledge of the course pursued in that line, scruples occasionally arose in my mind, which I attributed to fear produced by the novelty of my situation. Selling articles which I should not be easy to wear, or recommend others to wear, presented some apprehension of difficulty, but I concluded these might be dispensed with, and the business still be large enough; or perhaps when I became fully engaged, these feelings would wear off. Then arose the thought of entering into a business which I did not understand, and the condition in which I should find myself, were my partner removed by death. This circumstance I hoped would not occur, and I endeavored to suppress my apprehensions with the belief that experience would soon render me familiar with my new employment. In his desire to open the way for our union and future operations, my relative told me that besides the amount of our capital, which was borrowed, it would be necessary to purchase on credit large quantities of certain articles, the payment of which would be provided for in the returns of our sales. This was a further insight of the responsibilities we were about to take upon us, and which raised fresh doubts and fears.

My present business being small and one that I understood, was managed with ease. It required little capital, and involved me in no engagements that I did not hold the means to meet; so that I was free from anxiety on that account, and at liberty to attend unencumbered to any of the appointments of the Society, or any impression of duty to go to a meeting that I might have. When I contrasted my present situation, for I had not yet given up the drug business, with the project before me, and recollected that I had never been accustomed to the anxiety which often attends large commercial concerns, I began to feel stronger doubts of the safety of making so great change.

These doubts increased; and one day sitting in our religious meeting, it plainly appeared to me, that though the mind may be able to compass much, yet beyond its capacity it cannot go. If all its energies are enlisted in the concerns of the world, and their pressure is as great as it is capable of bearing, the all-important work of religion must be neglected. This appeared to me, must inevitably be my case. My time and talents would be wholly engrossed, and I must abandon all prospect of usefulness in religious society for the servitude of a man of the world. It seemed if I pursued the prospect of adopting the proposed change of business, that I should be lost to religious society and to the work of religion in my own heart.

These views brought me to full stop. I was afraid to risk my everlasting salvation for the sake of worldly emolument; and notwithstanding the mortification, I determined that it was best to inform my proposed partner in a proper manner, that I could not proceed, and also of the cause; which was a trial to him as well as to myself, though no steps had been taken, that would involve him in difficulty. After having come to this conclusion, and my concern for his disappointment had subsided, I felt relieved of a great burden, and then resolved that as long as I could make a living by the business I was brought up to, I would not abandon it for any other, but labor after contentment in such things as my Heavenly Father granted to me. I looked forward with renewed peace and satisfaction at the path and the business before me, though small, remembering that the earth is the Lord's, and the cattle on a thousand hills, and He in his inscrutable wisdom and kindness, will dispense what He knows we need.

My relative died in less than three years, and the very great losses produced by a falling market, proved in the end that I had escaped from a load of anxiety, and almost inextricable embarrassment. Indeed, being left alone in a business I was in nowise fitted for, it is probable it would have proved my ruin.

It is good to trust in the Lord, and to mind the secret intimations of his blessed Spirit; for I believe it was nothing less than his merciful superintending care that snatched me from the thralldom I was preparing for myself.

In the fall of 1813, the citizens illuminated their houses on the event of a victory gained by the Americans over the British in a naval engagement, which produced sadness in many minds.

Our Savior forbade his disciples to rejoice, even when spirits were made subject to them, in their religious engagements; and when some enquired whether they should command fire to come down from heaven as Elijah did, to consume his opponents, He replied, “You know not what manner of spirit you are of; the Son of Man came not to destroy men's lives, but to save them.”

How lamentable it is that men calling themselves Christians, can promote the destruction of their fellow creatures, and when many have been killed, or wounded and crippled for life, then make a festival and rejoice over them. What difference in this respect is there between the savage and the professed Christian? Jesus Christ declared, “My kingdom is not of this world, else would my servants fight,” evidently implying that those who do fight, are not servants and subjects in his holy and peaceful kingdom.

Second month 24th, 1814. I was compelled to appear before a court-martial sitting in this city, to answer a charge of disobedience of the orders of the President of the United States, in refusing to march as a militiaman last spring. I stated to the court-martial, that I was conscientiously bound to decline all warlike measures, and could not by any means comply with such requisitions. That I was a member of the Society of Friends, and although we cannot actively comply with laws that would violate our consciences, yet we do not rise against the Government; we passively suffer the penalty which they inflict—at the same time we think it right to plead for liberty of conscience, to maintain our rights in a peaceable manner, and not tacitly suffer distraint or imprisonment without law.

They heard me patiently and respectfully, making but little exception to what I advanced. I understood they decide the question by vote, whether the fine shall be exacted: what was their course in my case I never heard, but they never attempted to collect any fine of me and I suppose they voted me free.

It is very important at all times to bear a clear and faithful testimony to the coming and kingdom of the Prince of peace; and when the noise and spirit of war are over the land, and wicked men are ready to make a prey of those who cannot join in their measures, the times call for increased watchfulness that we may not be caught with that spirit, and the desire of success on the arms of either belligerent party, or in any manner let the testimony against war and bloodshed fall to the ground.

Seventh month 17th. There is now a great pleading by many for war. Some who assume the name of Christians say they deprecate such a state of things as much as any; but when their rights are invaded, their dwellings and the lives of their families endangered, they ought to defend themselves—and though they wish not to destroy life, yet if in self-defense, the aggressor is killed, they consider themselves justified. But while they think his blood will be upon his own head, they know not how far the act of taking human life may rest with awful weight on their consciences, when the heat of passion and revenge has gone off. They lose sight of the superintendence and protection of an Almighty Providence, and of the duty of putting their trust in Him. They argue that power is the support of government, and that it is the knowledge of this power that compels many to comply with the requisitions of the law—that there is an analogy between nations and individuals.

When differences occur between individuals, it is power that obliges the aggressor to make restitution to the injured—so when a dispute arises between nations, which they plead cannot be amicably adjusted, the advocates of war say that recourse must be had to the sword, to obtain that which the jarring views of the parties prevent taking place. At the same time they acknowledge that war is a dreadful evil which ought if possible to be avoided—that the time will come when sin, being banished from the earth, war will cease; but in the present state of the world, it is, they think, inevitable and justifiable.

Power may be exercised in a government to great extent without destroying life, for the purpose of punishing the transgressor, and preserving the peace and the property of the citizen.

As true religion prevails, less physical force will produce greater effect on the remaining vicious; and in proportion as the former spreads, the latter will be less needed. Where no military force is called in, there is less cause to excite the evil part of the community to retaliate and resort to the same. The use of arms stirs up men to provide themselves with and to use them. How much wiser and better would it be to settle differences between nations by the arbitration of a friendly Power—inasmuch as after having fought and killed, negotiation must be the final resort to settle the dispute.

In reflecting upon this subject, it may be right to take a view of the character of a disciple of Christ, and how he became a disciple. “Take my yoke upon you,” said our blessed Lord, “and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart.” Here the attention of the mind is arrested, and as it submits to Him, He gradually unfolds to it what He would have us to leave undone and what to do. As his requirings often prove the reverse of our inclinations, we need the aid of his Spirit in conforming to them; which in this case is compared to a yoke to keep down our propensity to evil; or a cross to crucify our stubborn wills, which often rise in opposition to the coming of his kingdom in the heart. “If any man will come after me let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.” The direction and rule of the heart are to be entirely given into his hands. We are not to choose for ourselves, but simply as little children attend to his daily instructions, which as we carefully follow will produce a growth and increase of spiritual strength.

Our sinful propensities and passions will become gradually weakened—our affections loosened from things below, and set on things above; and through the prevalence of his love, it will become our meat and our drink to do the will of our Father who is in heaven. Various are the baptisms, the inward plunges and washings that we must witness, before this state is attained; but it is nevertheless our duty and our highest interest to come to it, and without it we shall fall short of the stature of a perfect man in Christ Jesus.

Living under the yoke and daily cross of Christ we become joined to Him in one Spirit, and according to our measures are partaking of the divine nature; for says He, “He that does the will of my Father, the same is my mother, and sister, and brother;” and again, “I am the vine, you are the branches.”

Here such a union is formed between Christ and his brethren, that those who touch them, touch him, and not a hair of their head shall perish without his notice. They can suffer no injury, nor be in any emergency however secret or pressing, without his knowledge; and as all power in heaven and in earth is given to Him, they have great cause to put their trust in Him, believing if it be for their good, and the promotion of his righteous cause, He will deliver them as He has defended many of his children, in the hour of appalling danger. He has also permitted some of his most faithful servants to seal their testimony with their blood, but the proportion of these to the whole of his family is small. But yet in this they have infinitely the advantage over their enemies, in that standing faithful to their Master they have been made partakers of his glory; whereas their persecutors, if they do not repent and bow to his name, will in the end be cast into utter darkness, where will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. The longest life is short—the duration of suffering here is limited, and as the design of our creation is the glory of God, if He sees meet in the promotion of it to suffer our life to be terminated by the hands of cruel men, we have nothing to fear or to murmur at; but rather through the power of his love to rejoice in suffering, which is but for a moment, and that it will work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

The smallness of the number of righteous men and women, conscientiously opposed to war, who suffer violent death from mobs or armies, is quite remarkable. These are rarely assaulted either in their dwellings or on the high road, which shows that the protection of Divine Providence is extended to them.

From this we may suppose, that were there a nation of such Christians, who lived in love and harmony amongst themselves, and who from conviction of its unlawfulness, never could resort to arms to defend themselves, it would become known among the nations of the earth; and from the fact that no warlike resistance would be made on any occasion, they would refrain from meddling with them; either because He who turns the heart of a man as a man turns the water-course in his field, would show them it would be wrong to disturb them and would not permit them; or from the principle, that as there would be no resistance by arms, it would be unmanly and unworthy to assail such a people.

In the Fourth month, my beloved uncle Thomas Scattergood died, after an illness of but a few days. He attended about half the sittings of the Yearly Meeting when he was taken sick, and on the first day morning following he was released from the trials of this earthly pilgrimage, and I have no doubt passed into the church triumphant. On seventh day, a Friend expressed to him that he felt consolation in sitting by him; he replied that he had experienced it also, and that his mind was established on the sure foundation. One of the physicians saying something respecting his dissolution, he answered that if it was to take place now it was hid from him, as many of the Lord's secrets are, from his servants. He was a living, baptizing minister, often led into the states of the people, and was instrumental in quickening many to a more fervent exercise for their own salvation.

1815. My late beloved wife was of a delicate constitution; last winter her health and strength were much reduced. She contracted several colds which were accompanied by cough and pain in the chest; and being appointed a representative of the Monthly Meeting, she attended the Quarterly Meeting in the Second month, although very unfit to go out. She came home much spent, and becoming much indisposed kept her room very generally afterwards. We did not apprehend for a considerable time that her lungs were affected, though the obstinacy of some of the symptoms and the variable state of her feelings excited anxiety respecting the issue of the complaint; she being sometimes apparently so free from disease, as to seem to be fast recovering, and then would suddenly become so unwell, as to be scarcely able to keep out of bed. The spring was unusually cold with easterly storms of rain. It was, however, hoped notwithstanding her discouraging symptoms, that when the weather became warm and settled, a few week's residence in the country would check the progress of the disease, and restore her to health and to her family and friends. She was accordingly taken out on the 22nd of the Fifth month, and continued in the country three weeks. The air was cool for the season, and the change did not produce any intermission of her complaint; and the weather becoming warm during the last week, she weakened very fast. One evening her mother observing her to be in pain expressed her sympathy; when she answered, “We ought not to murmur at the dispensations of Providence,” and added, “Mother, most of your children are in heaven, and I shall soon be there with them.” She concluded to return to the city, and remarked that though the state of her body was changed, that of her mind was not; believing it was right that the trial had been made.

She was naturally of a sprightly, amiable disposition, and in the early part of her life, fond of gaiety and the amusements which her companions partook of. This drew her into company that was calculated to keep her from yielding to the convictions of Divine Grace, which at times were powerfully brought over her.

On some occasions when associated with others who were dancing and singing, her mind was so arrested with the visitations and reproofs of heavenly love, that she would be unable to participate in the mirth and amusements surrounding her. Through Divine mercy she was finally brought to submit to these visitations, to withdraw from all these vain delights, and to seek a closer acquaintance and union with the Lord, who had thus enlightened her by his Spirit to see the emptiness of her former pursuits, and the necessity of seeking enduring substance.

Persevering in faithfulness to the unfolding of Divine Light, she was convinced that simplicity in dress and manners was obligatory upon the follower of Christ, and she became an example therein, even to those whose opportunities of a religious, guarded education had been widely different from hers. On this subject she remarks in some of her memoranda, that “The evidence was confirmed to her, that simplicity in life and manners attends the narrow way which leads to life, while the partaking of the enjoyments, possessions and allurements of this deceitful world, will inevitably lead to destruction.”

In the twentieth year of her age, she made application, and was received into membership in our religious Society by the Southern District Monthly Meeting. She was much beloved by her intimate acquaintances, and was engaged privately to seek their furtherance in the path of dedication to their divine Lord and Master. With some of these she was frequently employed in visiting the habitations of the poor, manifesting much tender feeling for them in their distresses, by her persevering efforts in procuring and administering the requisite comforts for their relief. A select school for girls being opened within the limits of her Monthly Meeting, she took charge of it for about eighteen months, and proved herself well qualified for the care of the little children. When she entered into the married life her testimony to plainness was still kept in the furniture of her house, guarding against a conformity to the fashions of a vain world with which many are led astray. Her gentle spirit, softened and regulated by the love of God, rendered her a faithful and affectionate wife, and she was religiously concerned for the future welfare and preservation of her tender offspring.

Having in health submitted to bear the yoke of Christ, and in good measure experienced its sanctifying operations in her heart, she was now favored at a time when under an incurable pulmonary consumption, as she said, with a “heavenly state of mind,” and enabled with great calmness to look towards her dissolution, which she was early sensible would be the termination of this sickness. The disease made steady progress after her return to the city, and she suffered much.

In the course of her sickness she uttered many weighty expressions, showing a living experience of inward communion with her Savior, and of that redemption from sin and the fear of death, which by the working of his mighty power in the soul, He effects for his obedient children. Before she went into the country, a few Friends having called to see her, after a time of silence, a belief was expressed by one of them, that her bed had been made in her sickness, and that the guardian angel of the Lord's presence, had encamped around about her, and supported her, when outward help failed. After a short pause she uttered some expressions of thanksgiving for Divine support during her sickness, and added. “I feel that I am unworthy of so many favors.” Then with uncommon energy, she broke forth nearly in these words: “Oh that I had the opportunity to testify to the goodness of the Almighty, and that it was in my power to impress on the young people the very great importance of giving up in early life, that the mind may have a foundation to rest upon in the time of trial, when the world is as nothing.”

The prospect of parting with my beloved wife was at times attended with feelings that seemed insupportable. We had been married but a few years, and to be obliged to give up one whose purified spirit rendered her a most desirable companion in this scene of probation, appeared at some seasons altogether irreconcilable. And one day the prospect came over me with such force, that I was tossed with a tempest I could hardly support; but as I was walking alone up and down the floor in this state, the Savior graciously appeared, and in the midst of my perturbation, said to my mental ear, “Peace, be still,” and there was a great calm. I then became more resigned, but still secretly clung to the hope that she would be spared.

On the 18th of the Sixth, she was visited by one of her cousins, whose mind had been brought under religious exercise, to whom she said: “My desire for you since you have been sitting here, dear Susan, has been, that you may dig deep, and get to that sure foundation, against which storms and tempests shall never be able to prevail; that when you come to be laid on such a bed as I now am, you may have a well grounded hope of entering into that rest, where sorrowing and sighing will be done away.” This cousin died in a short time after her. One of her aunts sitting by, observing her to be in much suffering, said she believed it was not because she was cast off, that her distress of body was so great; she rejoined, “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens.” And in the course of the same day, her father remarking that she had a suffering time, she sweetly replied, “Yes, father, but I have an Almighty Friend underneath who supports me over all.” On the 19th, she supplicated thus, “Oh great and glorious Lord, grant me patience that will carry even through the gates of death. You know that I have endeavored to serve you according to my measure; prepare for me according to your eternal goodness, a mansion of rest; and shorten the time, if consistent with your holy will.” After a few minutes, “In all my trials and deep afflictions, I have refreshing seasons.”

At a time of great bodily suffering, her mother-in-law being present, she said, “I should consider it a favor to be removed in one of these spells, but I am resigned; it is my meat and drink to do the Lord's will.” Some time after she expressed, “Well is it for me, that part of the work was done before such a time as this.” Then making a solemn pause, she broke forth in commemoration of His goodness, and in intercession, “Almighty God, my soul does magnify you, and my spirit rejoices in your salvation. Oh, grant that I may receive daily a portion of your holy, everlasting patience.”

On the 22nd, being in much pain she said, “I had need to cry aloud for patience. O Lord, hear the voice of my supplication; be near in the hour of deep distress.” Some little time after, on taking some drink she said, “I ought to be thankful for the many blessings and favors I receive; there are many poor things who have to suffer all this, and have not these,” alluding to the refreshments furnished her.

Her father and mother-in-law being present in the evening, she said to them, “You have not heard me my dear parents, say much respecting these dear children I am about to leave. In the early part of my sickness I had a comfortable impression on my mind, that if I should be taken from them, there was a Father to the fatherless and a Husband to the widow, so I have been mercifully kept from anxiety about them; yet I have been at times concerned for their everlasting welfare; desiring they might know the God of their fathers, that they may become earlier acquainted with their Creator than their mother was; though when but about eleven years old I was so clearly convinced of a principle within, that condemned for doing wrong, and led to do that which was right, that I have been induced to leave my pillow, with my cheeks bathed with tears, and on my knees pray that I might be a good child. I have craved that they may remember their Creator in the days of their youth, and have desired that rather than they should not walk in the way that is well pleasing to Him, He would be pleased, while in their innocency, to take them to Himself.”

On the morning of the 23rd. “Oh great and holy Being, be pleased to grant fresh supplies of your patience. Oh hear the voice of my supplication; be near and uphold me, for I have none in heaven to look unto but you, nor in all the earth in comparison with you. I magnify you for your mercy, and for all your benefits; I love to speak of your goodness.”

Her sufferings on the morning of the 24th were very great and exhausted her much. About 4 o'clock in the morning, in much agony, she prayed, “O Lord be near; grant me patience in this trying hour.” Then said, “Oh what a trial and conflict I have had! Had my God been pleased to have taken me in this trying hour, what a favor! Oh grant me patience; let resignation be my constant theme. You are great, and you are merciful. You know all my deep afflictions; you will not try me beyond what I am able to bear; therefore let me bless and praise you with this poor breath;” her breathing being very difficult. A little while after, “O Lord, take me to yourself. O Lord how good are you to me. My heart is filled with praises to the High God who reigns above with the Lamb forever. Oh the sweet peace.” After those trying sensations had a little subsided, she appeared like one just about to enter the kingdom, clothed with the meekness and purity of one of the Lord's redeemed children. In a sweet and heavenly tone she said, “I have been thinking of the expression of our Savior, Suffer little children to come unto me, for of such, is the kingdom of heaven—their angels do always minister to my Father who is in heaven. I do not know whether it is correct, but it is what I have been thinking of.”

She took some nourishment, and endeavored to compose herself to sleep, but the cough being frequent it was much interrupted.

Her mind appeared to be occupied with her two infant children, of whom she had spoken but a few times throughout her sickness. In her sweet and affectionate manner she said, “Oh my dear little prattlings; when I see them under the protection of an omnipotent and omniscient Being, overshadowed as with the banner of his love, my soul is filled with love, with praises, high praises to his great and most excellent name—a Savior that will go with them and preserve them in the slippery paths of youth. Oh if the Lord will hear my prayer, and check their early propensity to evil.”

On parting with her brother, Joel Evans, who had called to see her, she said, “Farewell my dear brother; and whether I ever see you in this life or no, may the Lord bless you—bless you with the dew of heaven; and may you walk worthy of his Holy name, that so you may glorify Him, not only in this world, but in the world to come—Farewell.”

Being asked in the afternoon how she felt, she replied, “The body is comfortably fixed.” It was then inquired whether she did not feel comfortable in mind, she answered, “Yes,” and then proceeded, “That glorious Presence is not withdrawn, but I believe is near to support my poor, weary, tried, tossed mind; not tossed with tempest but weakness; and when it shall be his glorious will to take me hence, I go rejoicingly. If I love and serve him, will He not keep his covenant? yes, most surely.”

On the 25th her brother and sister-in-law, Joseph and Grace Evans, from the country, came to see her, and previously to their leaving she addressed them in this wise, “I cannot, my dear brother and sister, let you pass away, as my time here may be short, perhaps very short—which will be cause of rejoicing to me and thankfulness to my heavenly Father—without mentioning what has presented to my mind of the importance of becoming acquainted with what it is to be a true Christian; not only to believe in the Scriptures that Christ was born, died and rose again, but come to experience Him to visit you, guide you and direct your path through life. Do what your hands find to do, not only as it regards the outward, but know the inward work to go on with the day. Thus you will become united to the Son of God. This will sweeten your path through life, and at the close give you an inheritance in his kingdom, where there is peace and joy forevermore.”

Notwithstanding the intense suffering which at times she endured, her heart was often filled with praise to Him who had redeemed her by the spirit of judgment and of burning, and washed away her sins by his precious blood. In the course of the day she said, “Praise the Lord, Oh my soul, bless his holy name; glorify Him while you are here; sing of his mercy and goodness, for they are very great.”

In the course of the night, her beloved friend Mary Morton, who was watching with her, observing to her that she had indeed need of patience, and that she thought she was abundantly supplied with it, she replied, “I am sensible of it and it is a great mercy,”—and holding her friend's hand, she continued nearly in these words: “I have much to be thankful for. I was visited in very early life, and was enabled to yield to the heavenly visitation; this was a great favor. He has been with me all my life long, and does not forsake me in this closing period; but is graciously pleased at times to qualify, me under all my bodily sufferings, to commemorate his marvelous goodness, and to sing praise, high praises to his ever-excellent Name.”

In the afternoon of the 27th, a few hours before her death, she said: “Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Oh my soul; praise his great and glorious name. Lean upon him that you may know him to be your support in the hour of deep conflict, and to receive you into the kingdom of everlasting rest.”

Her close drawing near, she took a solemn leave of her connections present. To her husband she said, “Farewell, farewell, dear William—we shall meet in a better world; the Lord will bless us there.” “Lord Almighty receive my spirit; angels wait to receive my spirit”—then as if something held her, she said, “Don't hold me, don't hold me to this world.” She quietly departed about twenty-five minutes past 11 o'clock at night, the 27th of the Sixth month, 1815, in the twenty-eighth year of her age; and doubtless has entered one of those mansions which the Son of God went before to prepare for his devoted followers.

My situation was felt to be destitute, and as our two children were mere infants, it was concluded that I should break up housekeeping and return to board with my parents.

My dear mother having a religious concern to visit Burlington, Shrewsbury and Eahway, and Bucks, and Abington Quarterly Meetings, and some one being needed to drive the horses, it was concluded that I should undertake it; and my health being somewhat impaired by confinement and waiting on my late dear wife, the journey, particularly through the pines in New Jersey, would probably have a restorative effect. We set out in the Eighth month, and visiting all the meetings in prospect; we were absent about eight weeks. It could not be supposed the journey would be to me a very cheering one, but notwithstanding my own situation, and the trials we met with among those who were but little alive to the great cause of religion, I was satisfied with having given up to it, and was forcibly struck as we rode home with the reflection, how short the time had been. It seemed an emblem of life. Looking forward to so many meetings and places, the time requisite to accomplish it all, looked long; but after it was concluded, it was like a dream or a vapor that soon vanished.

After my return I broke up housekeeping, and took up my residence with my beloved parents on the 10th of the Eleventh month.

Eleventh month 13th. Since the decease of my dear wife, I have often had to feel the loss of her precious society, but a belief that she is in the company of saints and angels, and the spirits of the just made perfect, and the recollection that my own time will be short, incite me to endeavor patiently and cheerfully to hold out to the end. This is a state of mutability; it is therefore necessary we should be sensible that every outward gift is held by a very slender thread—let us then strive to become increasingly acquainted with that which never changes, but will endure beyond time.

1816. In the Fourth month of this year my mother having a religious concern to attend New York Yearly Meeting, in which Sarah Wilson a minister belonging to our meeting united, I accompanied them. We made our home at Thomas Eddy's, who, with his exercised wife, received and entertained us with much kindness. There was a spirit at work in some there who put on great plainness, but who under the profession of supporting spiritual religion, were beginning to undervalue the benefits and importance of the Holy Scriptures.

In the course of the sittings of the Yearly Meeting, an epistle was prepared in reply to that received from the London Yearly Meeting, in which the frequent reading of the Scriptures and the proper observance of the first day of the week, were enforced in a manner which appeared to me consistent with the views the Society of Friends had always held on these subjects.

Elias Hicks made an attack upon those parts of the epistle, in which he spoke very disparagingly of the Sacred Writings, and improperly of the observance of the first day; affirming that the spreading of the Bible was a part of the system of priestcraft.

We visited Mamaroneck Meeting and the meetings on Long Island. When at Jericho, the women Friends lodged at Elias Hick's—I stayed at his son-in law's. My mother told me that she had a serious opportunity with him respecting the course he was pursuing, and remonstrated firmly against it, endeavoring to bring him to feel the danger that awaited himself, and the prejudicial effects it must have upon others. She said he appeared to be affected by her labors with him. It however availed little, as his after course proved. After getting through with the services which my mother and Sarah Wilson had in view, we returned home.

1817, Second month 15th. The Delaware river closed about the 24th of last month; preceding that time the weather had been unusually mild, which gave rise to the expectation that we should have a very moderate winter; but the greater part of the last two weeks has been excessively cold. Sleighs, carts and wagons have been running on the river without the smallest apprehension of danger. This morning the mercury stood at five degrees below zero.

16th. This morning my father-in-law, Aaron Musgrave, died, in the 54th year of his age. He manifested a steady patience throughout his illness, and though he expressed but little respecting his prospects of futurity, yet his quiet, resigned frame of mind, left no doubt with those who attended him in his sickness, that his end was peace.

The view of a fellow mortal gradually wasting away, until the earthly tabernacle is no longer able to retain that part which is designed for an eternal duration, is humbling. It shows the weakness of the tenure of all sublunary enjoyments, and calls loudly to those yet left behind, to use all diligence in the great business of salvation. But how easily do we suffer ourselves to elude the force of impressions made by such examples.

Self-denial of the fleeting gratifications of this world is a work very unwelcome to the natural man; but it must nevertheless be submitted to, if we expect to become conquerors through him that loved and died for us. “They that are Christ's have crucified the flesh, with the affections and lusts.”

Sixth month. Hannah Shinn, a minister belonging to our Monthly Meeting, and my dear mother, having concerns to attend New England Yearly Meeting, I accompanied them to it.

We went to New York and from there in the steamboat for New London, where we took stage for Providence, Rhode Island, and put up at Obadiah Brown's. Our women Friends were taken in their carriage to Newport, and I went by water.

In Newport we were quartered at D. Williams', where we often had the company of many Friends. The Yearly Meeting was one of considerable exercise to our women Friends.

During the week we had several religious opportunities; in one of them at our lodgings, my mind was so brought under exercise on account of some present, and the passage presenting, “If any man among you seems to be wise in this world let him first become a fool that he may be wise,” that I felt constrained to revive it, with a short application. A minister took it up and spoke upon it, which seemed confirming that I was not mistaken. We attended a few meetings after the Yearly Meeting, crossed to Conanicut Island, and from there on to Narraganset, where we procured a conveyance to New London. Next morning left the wharf in a steamboat for New Haven, and from there to New York—attended the meeting at Liberty Street, and next morning took our departure for home, which we reached the following day about 11 o'clock.

Eighth month 8th. In consequence of the fines assessed by the late court martial, upon Friends, who could not comply with the requisitions of the Government, either to serve in the recent war with Great Britain, or to furnish substitutes, the houses of many were visited by the marshal's deputies, and their bedding and furniture carried off by cart loads. In several instances the value of the goods distrained was from one hundred to two hundred dollars. One Friend, residing in the vicinity of the city, had his carriage, worth one hundred, dollars taken and sold for rather more than forty dollars. The fine being fifty dollars, the deputy returned and took his chaise, which lately cost one hundred dollars. Thus a family were not only deprived of the means of conveyance to their religious meetings, but compelled to sustain a loss of two hundred dollars to meet a fine of fifty dollars, arbitrarily imposed by a court-martial, from whose decisions there is no appeal. These decisions were evidently marked with great partiality; as a neighbor of the Friend was fined but nine dollars, though no shade of difference could be perceived in the circumstances of the respective cases; except that one was a member of a religious society whose testimony against war is coeval with its existence. While these distraints and great sacrifice of Friends' property were carrying on, they did not fail to lay account of them before the public through Stephen Grellet, the medium of one of the daily papers, and some of them were such flagrant violations of what even military men would regard as just, that they brought some of the deputies to shame, and a stop was put to it.

The unjust proceedings consequent upon the late war, often led me to many serious reflections upon its desolating effects, both in the destruction of human life, and the unjust persecution of conscientious men who cannot join in with it. The mind that is clothed with Divine love, the charity which endures all things, sincerely and humbly desires the welfare of all men, even of those who treat us with coldness, or actuated by the spirit of revenge, seek to injure us. Where this heavenly feeling subsists, the spirit of revenge, which is the spirit of war, has no place. One is from heaven, from the Fountain of love, which seeks the salvation of all men; the other is derived from the malevolence of the fallen spirits or devils, who are constantly seeking the injury and final destruction of all men.

1818, Ninth mo. 9th. At different times in the course of my life I have apprehended that at some period, I should be engaged in publicly laboring in the great cause of Truth, to turn the attention of others, through its constraining power, from darkness to light and from the power of Satan unto God. Clear and distinct openings have been made upon my mind in a very impressive manner, in relation to the standing and qualification of a gospel minister. It has appeared to me necessary that through the humbling power of Christ, and the baptisms of the cross, his will should be reduced, and a state of childlike reliance on the Leader of Israel, in a good degree attained, that he may be prepared to stand as an instrument through whom the Lord condescends to speak to his people.

For several months past the time appeared to be drawing nigh for me to make more public the concern that had been shut up in my own breast. I had many impressive openings which seemed nearly ripe for communicating, but remembering the awfulness and importance of the work, I kept back. Sometimes I rejoiced after meetings in believing they were Divine impressions, and sometimes I felt concerned that by putting off too long, I might get into the habit of slighting them, while I was looking for satisfactory evidence of the origin of the concern.

But He who knows how to deal with his children, did not forsake me, but furnished with a fresh opening this morning in our Fourth-day meeting. As heretofore I was preparing to set it aside for further confirmation, when a beloved Friend was engaged to call upon some to be faithful—that no sign should be given, but that of the prophet Jonah, who for his disobedience was permitted to descend into deep suffering and anguish. This seemed so clearly applicable, that recollecting I had passed through many night seasons, and feeling after she sat down the fresh arisings of the concern, I stood up and with an audible voice, said, “God is our refuge, in Him will we put our trust. They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded, but they shall be as Mount Zion that cannot be removed. Christ Jesus remains to be the eternal Rock and foundation; blessed are all they that are built upon Him.”

My mind was preserved in calmness throughout the day, free from doubt of the propriety of my moving in the weighty and solemn work. My dear friend, Thomas Kite, called down at the store to see me, and though he said but little, seemed like one who rejoiced that a child was born, secretly desiring that preservation and proper nourishment might be vouchsafed by Him who alone can give them.

Tenth month 15th. “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?” And they said, “Some say that you are John the Baptist; some Elias, and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.” Various have been the opinions of many, perhaps in every age since, respecting the Messiah, and in none, more so than in the present. There are societies who consider themselves Christians that make no scruple to profess they believe Him to be no other than man, though they acknowledge He was a great prophet, divinely inspired, but in no way differing from those prophets and good men who preceded Him. It is a most fearful state of unbelief to be introduced into, and must finally land the mind in great wretchedness.

When Jesus put the question to his disciples, “But who say you that I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood has not revealed it unto you, but my Father which is in heaven; and I say also unto you, that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Men may endeavor to satisfy themselves, from the testimony of the prophets and apostles, respecting our blessed Savior, whose testimony is true and invaluable to the true believer, yet I believe the saving knowledge of God and of his dear Son, and true faith in Him, are received in no other way but by the revelation of the Spirit in the soul. By a childlike reception and reliance upon its divine openings, walking in the obedience of faith, we shall be prepared for further discoveries of his will, and be gradually enabled to comprehend in degree, as He sees fit, the mystery of Godliness. Numerous are the testimonies of Christ himself and of his apostles to his eternal divinity, as recorded in the Scriptures of Truth, which become substantial evidence to us, as they are unfolded and confirmed by the Holy Spirit; leading us to an unreserved belief of them, as it would assuredly do all who have the Holy Scriptures, and are entirely given up to its requirings. The apostle Paul clearly shows the distinction between the Son and Sent of the Father, and his angels and ministers. “Who makes his angels, spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire; but unto the Son he says, Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; a scepter of righteousness is the scepter of your kingdom.”

Tenth month 25th. In our morning and afternoon meetings the prevalence of a worldly spirit was felt. If the profits and friendship of the world be our primary pursuit, they become in a great measure the gods we worship; and it is not to be supposed, that such worshippers who have their backs to the temple, will be favored to feel the life of Truth to rise into dominion over their fleshly minds, just when they may choose to assemble in the character of public worshippers.

Tenth month 28th. This day was held our Monthly Meeting for the Southern District. We had the company of Silas Dowming from Long Island, and William Hickman from England.

On answering some of the Queries, it was evident that much delinquency prevailed in the attendance of our meetings for worship and discipline—the free circulation of true love, and its invariable companion, unity, has been much impeded; and hence the barrenness often felt in our meetings for Divine worship which no doubt is a discouragement to many, who are not sufficiently zealous in the performance of this essential duty. There is a number who are concerned at heart for the upright support of our discipline and cannot rest satisfied with superficial conclusions: but the same cause which hinders the arising of Divine life in our assemblies for public worship, operates to produce indifference and unsound judgment on the part of others, in relation to the disposal of some cases that come before us.

Eleventh month 1st. This morning the meeting was held in silence. When the disciples enquired of the Master “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Jesus called a little child unto Him and set him in the midst of them and said, verily, I say unto you, except you be converted and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Oh the great value of true humility! not a mere voluntary servile humility, which is often accompanied with an improper admiration of the gifts and standing of others. True humility is attained through mortification and the abasement of self, while the false and spurious, may be held with imaginary importance and a quickness of sensibility that is incapable of bearing the reproaches of others. Under the humbling operations of the power of Truth we are prepared for the Master's use, either silently to suffer with the Seed that is oppressed in the hearts of men, or when He arises, openly to advocate his blessed cause, to bring judgment home to the transgressor, and encourage the sincere travelers to hold up their heads in hope.

4th. The marriage of Joseph Rhoads with my sister Hannah was accomplished today. Being surrounded by friends and connections, the occasion frequently revived the recollection of my own marriage a few years since, and the endearing countenance and manners of a beloved companion, now among the spirits of the blessed; and also the uncertain tenure of all earthly joys. Richard Jordan attended the meeting and dined with us. He mentioned in his testimony, that our trials if rightly profited by, would tend to advance the great work of man's salvation. I remembered some of my own conflicts, and hoped that through the continued goodness of my Heavenly Father, I might not miss of being benefited by them, but might spend my strength and the remainder of my time in my blessed Master's service; either in bearing the requisite share of baptism for myself and for the sake of others, or in more openly advocating his glorious cause of truth and righteousness in the earth.

15th. I have felt concerned for the lapsed, mixed state of the church. I have seen a spirit at work among us, which aims at drawing the minds of many from a simple dependence upon the internal guidance of the Head of the Church, and is opposed to the administration of sound discipline. It is very ready to judge the ministry of substantial Friends, while it pleads for that which is supported with money, and stands in the will and wisdom of man. We are weak enough already, but propagating unsound opinions, neither contributes to our own good nor that of others. As certainly as we forsake the secret sense which the Truth begets in relation to our individual duty, and depend upon the wisdom and the reasoning of man, our ministry will become destitute of the quickening power and virtue of the Holy Spirit, and the Society dwindle into lifeless formality.

I have continued attending the meeting to which I belong, without feeling any inclination to go to any other in the city. They have not been without instruction to myself, though I have not felt it to be right to impart the exercise which has come over me at times, until this morning, when the impressions attending a little opening were such, that I was induced to offer it.

26th. There are many pollutions in the world with which we are liable to be denied, through unwatchfullness, or disobedience; but the Lord of life and glory will not dwell in a defiled heart. How necessary then to submit to his purifying baptisms—that of the Holy Ghost and fire; and when in his unspeakable goodness, He has cleansed and prepared the heart a fit temple for his Holy Spirit to dwell in, let us be very careful how we defile it. “If any man defile the temple of God, him will God destroy.”

“One day is with the Lord as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day.” There is no haste with Him in carrying on his work; and in order to witness the accomplishment of his gracious purposes concerning us, we must learn to dwell in the faith and patience of the saints. Christ Jesus is the blessed author and finisher of the saints' faith; He will furnish with sufficient light to discover our respective duties, and as we humbly follow his leadings, will carry on and perfect his work, to his own praise and our everlasting peace.

Twelfth month 31st. On the 29th, about two o'clock in the afternoon, died our beloved friend, Sarah Wilson, (wife of Edward,) a minister and member of our Monthly Meeting. She was taken sick on the 26th, and on the 28th became alarmingly ill, and sank very fast. Her mind was kept in a tranquil state, and with much composure she took leave of all her family. Richard Jordan, who was strongly attached to her, I understood was present at her departure, and afterwards said he thought he had never witnessed such feelings of solemnity and awfulness, as on that occasion; accompanied with an indubitable evidence that she was received into the arms of her Savior in the mansions of everlasting blessedness. She was possessed of a mild temper and affable manners—cheerful though not light—dignified in her deportment, yet truly humble, and manifesting a sympathizing spirit towards those in affliction. Her gift in the ministry was precious—her appearances were not frequent, but attended with a degree of baptizing virtue, and evidently the product of heartfelt exercise on account of those, to whom her divine Master put her forth to minister. We might have expected from her age and health, and her qualifications for usefulness, that at this time of weakness in the church, and departure of many from a steady submission to the yoke of Christ, she would have been continued long to occupy her valuable gift and talents in helping to guard the flock, and to build up the waste places of Zion. But He who made her what she was, has in his unsearchable wisdom, cut short her work in righteousness, and although the privation of her society and labors has been painful to us, it must be her gain. We have our day's work to perform, and to endeavor to have our lamps trimmed and loins girded. Waiting daily upon our Lord to know and to fulfill his will, is our individual duty; and happy will it be when the end comes, to have a well-grounded hope, from the testimony of the Holy Spirit, that a place of glorious rest is prepared for us through the unutterable mercy of God in Christ Jesus our Lord; having walked in faithfulness to his divine requirings.

Chapter III

1819—1823

Waiting before the Lord—Visit to Ohio—Unsound Sentiments of Elias Hicks—Necessity for Watchfulness—Family Visit—Duty of Keeping in True Patience—Severe Illness—Desertion and Distress—Trial of Faith—Letter from a Friend—Acknowledged as a Minister—Yearly Meeting Discouraging Fears—Ranterism in New England—Spread of Unsound Doctrines—Testimony of J. Whitall—Reflections on the State of Society.

1819, First month 10th. There is a material difference between what we call good thoughts, and being brought to sit under the teachings of Christ in our own hearts, when assembled for divine worship. His words are spirit and they are life to the soul; but the wanderings of the mind in contemplating religious truths, without the influence of his Spirit, must end in barrenness and poverty. Hence it is our chief business to labor to get to a state of humble waiting before Him, that we may be instructed by the gracious words that still proceed from Him in his spiritual appearance in the heart.

Fifth month 2nd. It is a great favor to be redeemed from all outward and human dependence, and to have the mind brought simply and singly to wait upon God. In a state of reverent silence before him, He is at times pleased to manifest himself by the diffusion of his light and love, and the soul being clothed with gratitude to the Author of all its sure mercies, is enabled to worship as in his presence, and to offer up thanksgivings and praise to his great name. Herein is experienced the communion of saints as at his table, a participation of the body and blood of Christ. The soul is nourished and strengthened not only by the living virtue immediately flowing from the Head, but is edified by that strength which every joint supplies, by the effectual working of the measure of Grace in every part of the body. These views opened before me this morning, but for lack of coming to a state of humble, patient waiting, I did not fully realize them in my own experience.

Latterly this has been nothing new—but perhaps the period is not far distant, when I shall be again restored to a more steady and sensible enjoyment of this blessed communion, so essential to our spiritual life, and the successful maintenance of the Christian warfare. Oh! the necessity of keeping the faith in times of stripping and desertion. Without it we shall be overcome by temptation, rather than be made conquerors.

Sixth month 11th. After a time of silence for several months, on fourth-day the 9th, I again apprehended myself called upon to communicate some matter which was opened before me. Like many other presentations, I had doubts whether it was designed for others, and nearly concluded I should leave the meeting in silence; but after attaining a state of resignation either to speak or to be silent, all doubt was removed, and I was enabled to offer what came before me, with calmness and a degree of innocent boldness. I make these memoranda for my own use at a future period of life, should it be prolonged, that on looking back I may see how I have progressed from one time to another.

There are many lessons to be learned in silence as well as in speaking, and to be brought into a state of childlike docility, and obedience to the leadings of our heavenly Shepherd, seems to be the principal end of all the dispensations of his wisdom.

The haughtiness of man must be laid low, and the Lord alone exalted in that heart which is prepared to be acceptably engaged in his service. In a state of deep humility and patient waiting upon Him, we become prepared to discern the motions of his Spirit, and in simplicity to yield compliance therewith.

There is as much need to learn to be still, and to know the active, forward disposition of the human mind reduced to subjection, as there is to experience a willingness wrought to perform the Lord's will when it is manifested. He is a wise Master Builder, and if we abide under his preparing hand, He will fashion us into vessels and instruments for his use.

Ninth month 26th. Having had some views of attending Ohio Yearly Meeting, and being desirous of seeing a beloved sister-in-law, I set off the 17th of last month, for Zanesville, to which town she had removed with her husband last winter. I got there on the 28th, after a lonely ride through a country altogether new to me, and remained with them five days. I set out homeward for Mount Pleasant, and on the way came up with a Friend residing in that State, who was going to the Yearly Meeting. It was pleasant to foil in with a Friend, though a stranger to me, and we kept in company throughout the remainder of the journey there. I went to a public house, but was soon comfortably provided for at a Friend's house in the village. I attended the sittings of the Yearly Meeting, which were accompanied with a good degree of solemnity.

They had been engaged in revising their discipline, which was read and adopted. A proposition to divide the Yearly Meeting, which had been under consideration for two years, was dismissed, from a belief that the time for such a measure was not yet come. This conclusion appeared to be unexpected by many, but such was the evidence of its propriety, that Friends generally expressed their satisfaction with it. This opportunity furnished fresh evidence of the goodness and care of our Holy Shepherd, who watches his flock by night and by day, and in the needful time, as He is waited upon, manifests himself for its preservation. Several Friends from the eastern Yearly Meetings were present. I returned home, having been absent five weeks and four days.

Vessels must be emptied before they are prepared to be filled; and not only emptied, but cleansed. This is especially the case with the vessels of the Lord's house.

Tenth month 11th. Attended the Monthly Meeting of Haddonfield, in which I had a little service. It was accompanied and concluded with peacefulness.

Eleventh month 2nd. Elias Hicks having been in the city six days, went out to Germantown this morning. The meetings where he was present have been very large. The variety and novelty in his communications excited much curiosity, a great deal of remark, and perhaps, in some instances, disgust. He is bold in assertion, extensive in his ranges, and not infrequently appears inconsistent with his previously expressed opinions.

I was tried with his manner of treating the doctrine of the Three that bear record in heaven, in one of his testimonies at Mount Pleasant, Ohio. In speaking of the new birth in man, as effected by the Holy Spirit, he said, here is Father, Son and Holy Ghost; which according to the manner in which he and his adherents applied Scripture, appeared to me to be designed to draw away the mind from a sound belief in the Three that bear record in heaven, and fasten upon his hearers the idea that in no other way are we to believe in the Son of God than as the new birth in man. I spoke to him as we walked from meeting over to Jonathan Taylor's, and remarked that it appeared to me he had not held forth the faith of Friends in our Savior, as he is glorified at the right hand of the Father. He turned away from the subject by saying, “The Apostles were often misunderstood;” but he avoided giving any further explanation of his opinions, as we might suppose a man would do who was not afraid of being detected, and really held and wished to advocate the doctrines of our Savior and his Apostles.

It is a favor amidst the noises and confusion there are in the world to feel something on which we can rest with certainty. As we labor to dwell near the Truth in our own hearts, this is at such seasons more eminently experienced, and its advantages more correctly prized. “My sheep,” said Christ, “hear my voice and I know them, and they follow me; and I give unto them eternal life and they shall never perish, neither shall any pluck them out of my hand.” He is still the Bishop and Shepherd of his flock; He still feeds them by day and keeps them by night; He causes them to feed in green pastures, the pastures of life; He makes them to lie down beside still waters.

This is a state of true peacefulness, the enjoyment of that peace which passes the understanding of man, and of which, as we abide under the shadow of his wing, the world and all its commotions cannot rob us.

Eleventh month 5th. I attended the meeting at Springfield yesterday, where I was impressed with the belief it was right to communicate some matter which opened before me; but on sitting down an inquiry was raised in my mind whether I had not better have kept silent. I could not perceive any uneasiness that convinced me I had erred, and therefore concluded the sensation of desertion was best for me, though not pleasant to the creature. It is a humbling, mortifying work; but if we are preserved in the Lord's hand, not running without his command, nor lagging behind our guide, it will be enough; and when He sees proper, He will give evidence that the work is his, and that as we faithfully submit to him in all things, He will perfect it to his praise—at least this is my sincere hope and belief.

Eleventh month 16th. The instances that have occurred of persons who began well, but afterwards made shipwreck of faith and of a good conscience, are subjects of mournful reflection, both for their's and the great cause sake. Under feelings of love to our Heavenly Father, we may at times be ready to conclude, that we are resolved to Follow Him and shall no more forsake him. The power of temptation is often strong and potently pressing, and although, so far, we have been kept from being cast away, yet unless the watch is maintained; and we are frequently brought to feel our need of daily help, and that of ourselves we cannot stand, and thereby are led to cry unto the Lord for preservation, we may be overtaken in an unwary hour, and carried by temptation into a land of pits and snares, from which we cannot easily escape, and may bring upon ourselves deep suffering, and reproach on the holy cause we had espoused.

The growth from infancy to manhood is by slow and almost imperceptible gradations; as we advance in religious experience by little and little, so by a gradual neglect of watchfulness and prayer, we may decline and finally lose our standing in the Truth. How important then frequently to remember the rock from which we were hewn, and the hole of the pit from which we were digged. It was not our own arm that effected this, but His who saw us in a state of corruption, and in mercy said unto us, live! Oh let us lie low before Him, and above all things desire, that in heights and in depths, He will be pleased to keep us in the hollow of his holy hand, and by the cleansing operations of his baptizing power, qualify us for the performance of our allotted service in his church militant on earth.

Eleventh month 17th. When the Master directed Simon and his companions to launch out into the deep and let down the net for a draught; thinking perhaps it would be unavailing, he replied, that they had toiled all the night and had taken nothing; nevertheless, at your word I will let down the net; and complying with his direction when and where to cast it, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes. If this is figurative of the Christian's duty and experience, it shows that our exertion, independent of Divine direction and aid, will prove unavailing that we must, notwithstanding, be prepared to receive the command of our divine Master, and that by obedience we shall not fail to obtain that heavenly food which will nourish and sustain the soul.

Twelfth month 26th. Last fifth-day I attended Green Street Monthly Meeting. It required some exertion to get through the discouragement presented in the way; but I was satisfied in going, as it furnished an opportunity of viewing some of the defects, and the lack of a lively zeal in some—a worldly spirit having so gained the ascendency, that many do not see, or view with much indifference, the degeneracy that has overtaken us.

Others having become accustomed to this state of things, although they sometimes show some concern for the support of Truth's cause, yet in a general way, they seem to have scarcely energy to make any opposition to unsound measures and conclusions; and thus they drag along, keeping up something of the form, without knowing the power to be in dominion. A little service in the second meeting, opened the way for me from under a cloud which had rested on me for several months.

My way was shut up during that period for any public service, although I was frequently favored with instructive openings in relation to the Christian warfare, and would be almost ready to conclude they were designed for others; but as I kept patiently waiting for a satisfactory evidence, they gradually disappeared.

These dispensations are comparable to a state of death and burial: out of which nothing but the same quickening power that reanimated Lazarus, can raise the soul and qualify it for service in the great cause; and this He will certainly do, as we endeavor to keep the faith, waiting upon Him for his appearance. “I am the resurrection and the life; he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever lives and believes in me, shall never die.”

The life of these, though not visible to themselves, is hid with Christ in God; and in these seasons, some may be ready to conclude, as Martha did respecting her brother, that all hope of restoration to life is lost, and by this time they have become offensive. They may suppose that Divine Goodness has seen them unworthy of his gifts, and consequently He has wholly taken them away. But let none of the tribulated followers of Christ cast away their confidence in Him. Although He is called the Lord that hides his face from the house of Jacob, He has never said to his wrestling seed, “Seek you my face in vain;” but when the end of these necessary baptisms is attained, He will again appear to their unspeakable comfort, renew their faith, and clothe them with fresh qualification to sing of his mercies and of his judgments.

1820. Third month 30th. The Monthly Meeting having been brought under religious exercise on account of the frequent absence of some of the members from many of our meetings, believed it right to separate a few Friends to take the concern in charge, and as was opened to visit the objects of it. When we sat down together, a sense of our weakness and poverty was felt; but believing that as our dependence was steadily placed upon Him who declared, that if two of his disciples agreed touching anything they should ask in his name, it should be done for them of his Father, He would grant the requisite ability to discharge the duties He required of us, we proceeded in making the necessary arrangements for the performance of the service; and so far as I have been a witness, there was reason for humble thankfulness, for the timely manifestation of his goodness, in covering our hearts with love, and furnishing matter for the different states of the visited; with whom we were favored with some seasons of great tenderness.

Sixth month 11th. On reviewing our progress in the above-mentioned visit, I believe it was peculiarly useful to myself. It afforded an opportunity of experiencing the gentle openings of Truth, at times when nothing else could supply ability to discharge the service which was laid upon us; thereby strengthening our confidence in the alone Arm of saving help, and showing that however destitute we may feel, as we are rightly introduced and engaged in his work, He will not fail in due season to show Himself strong on the behalf of his children whose trust is in Him alone. He will string their bow and cover their heads in the time of every battle, and cause them to rejoice in his unmerited goodness and condescension. Oh! that all who are employed in his service, would hold fast their confidence, not daring to go forth without the evidence of his preparing power, but firmly possess their souls in patience until the evidence is given; and then their bow would not be turned backward, nor would they fail to perform the work to which He has sent them.

For lack of keeping the word of the Lord's patience, how are many warming themselves with sparks of their own kindling, and thereby not only reaping the reward of poverty and sorrow, but bringing into disrepute the precious cause, and the dignified office of a Gospel minister, in which they profess themselves to have a part. Neither the most extensively gifted, nor those of the largest experience, have anything of their own to communicate which can really profit the people. All must reverently wait upon Him, without whom they can do nothing; and it is only as He opens the spring and causes it afresh to flow, that any, the least or the greatest, are authorized and qualified, to attempt to minister to the states of others.

Sixth month 18th. The Meeting for Sufferings was held on the 16th, which I attended, having been appointed by the late Yearly Meeting to supply a vacancy. It was an interesting occasion. The degree of responsibility which is attached to that body is weighty. They seem like the guardians of the principles and character of the Society, in relation to its publications, and its appearance before the world in vindication of our civil and religious rights, and the rights of the oppressed who are unable to plead their own cause.

Seventh month 16th. Several weeks past have been a time of much stripping of all qualification for religious service. Such seasons are abundantly necessary for me, in order that I may from real experience and feeling, become effectually convinced that He who puts forth his own sheep and goes before them, is the only Source from which ability can be derived for any good word or work. Nothing so indelibly stamps the conviction of this, as the withdrawal of his sensible presence. When this is the case, our situation resembles Mount Gilboa, where David wished there might be neither dew nor rain, nor fields of offering.

Those seasons would no doubt be shortened if we adhered faithfully to the Captain of our salvation. But how apt are we to become weary of a state in which all our building seems to be taken down, and all capacity that was heretofore furnished for the work seems to be almost lost. Were it not for a secret confidence in the Lord's unfailing goodness, the hope of its restoration must be entirely abandoned. He that walks about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, is also not lacking in attempts, through his subtle insinuations, to destroy the love and unity which has been felt with the brethren, and which seems the only remaining stay to the tossed mind. But all bitterness and evil surmising must be purged out, and we brought to dwell under the covering of that charity which thinks no evil, and enables to bear patiently the reproaches or unfavorable opinions of others.

Eighth month 21st. Until yesterday I had been silent in our meetings, nearly three months. My mind has not, through that period, been without encouraging and instructive openings, but I did not feel authorized to communicate them; although sometimes almost ready to conclude they were designed for others as well as myself. But carefully waiting for a satisfactory evidence of this, they have been gradually withdrawn, and the persuasion has generally remained that silence was properly my duty. Sometimes I thought perhaps I should no more be called on to expose myself in that way, though I had no reason to doubt the propriety of my previous steps in this work; yet the floods of temptation were such, that I had not always kept the faith so as to have my thoughts sufficiently brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and therefore I should not be favored with a qualification to advocate the power of Divine Grace in enabling to resist temptation, and thus tread down the enemy in all his approaches.

Purity of heart is unquestionably a necessary preparation for the Lord's work; and it is an abominable sentiment that a man may be a minister and servant of Jesus Christ, while he is trampling upon his holy law written in the heart, serving his own lusts. We must in a good degree experience the work of regeneration, before we can expect to be entrusted with his gifts for the edification of the church. After He has given the gifts, if any man sin we have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous, who knew no sin. In his adorable condescension, He is pleased, upon unfeigned repentance, to blot out our misses and transgressions, restore us to his favor, and again clothe with authority to preach the glad tidings of the gospel of salvation.

Ninth month 27th. Several weeks past a malignant fever has prevailed in this city, which proved mortal in most of the cases. They were not numerous, yet it was found necessary to remove the inhabitants from the neighborhood where it first appeared, and to fence in the district. It was a little distance from my store, and on the night of the 26th of last month, I was attacked with the disease, and confined about twelve days, greater part of the time to the bed. Reflecting upon the uncertainty of the result, and the instances of my unfaithfulness which presented, my situation felt truly awful. I remembered the description of those who had eaten and drunk in the Lord's presence, partaken of his teachings, and had cast out devils, and performed many wonderful works; but for lack of keeping their integrity to the end, received at last the awful sentence of separation from his holy presence. I seemed to be in company with the spirits of those unfaithful servants. The sun was turned into darkness and the moon into blood, the heavens passed away like a scroll, and every mountain and island was removed out of its place. The beams of the Sun of righteousness were entirely withdrawn, and the sentence of death seemed to have gone forth. All my former experiences were perfectly obliterated, and there appeared nothing left upon which I could ground any hope of happiness.

After passing several days of darkness, distress and uncertainty, a glimmer of hope that this was a dispensation for my refinement, was produced by the presentation of those expressions: “The kings of the earth, the great men, and the mighty men, hid themselves.” I saw that everything “high and lifted up,” had now disappeared, and I was ready to surrender all that the Lord's controversy was with, if I should be again entrusted with time to perform the duties that yet remained to fill up my allotted measure. I think I never passed through a season, wherein every feeling of Divine good was so entirely removed. After some time, my hope and confidence in Divine mercy were gradually restored. Some passages of the Scriptures were opened, and the views I was again favored with, of the humility and purity indispensably necessary for a minister and servant of Christ, raised the belief that the Divine hand was still at work. The language that perhaps “This sickness was not unto death, but for the glory of God,” raised a further hope that I was not cast off; but that He would again have mercy, and that it would prove the means for preparing me, more acceptably to come up in his service. For if these were his fatherly dealings for my purification, though in judgment, He had not entirely forsaken me, but in due time would again manifest Himself to my comfort and rejoicing.

A few days after the crisis of the disease, I began to take nourishment, and when sufficiently restored, went to my brother's, at Springfield, to recover my former strength.

Twelfth month 24th. In the revelations made to the apostle John, he had a view of those who had come through great tribulation, and had washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. This vision was corroborative of the testimony of our blessed Lord to his disciples: “In the world you shall have tribulation,” but He immediately adds, “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” It is in this path the righteous have trodden in all ages, and it is only by faithfully adhering to the invincible Captain of salvation, that any of the present or of any succeeding day, will be enabled to walk in their footsteps. There are seasons of bitter trial, and dispensations peculiarly abasing, which are necessary for our humiliation and refinement, and which we have need to recollect during their operation, are nothing new. But oh! the reluctance we feel at taking these cups. How many start aside at the presentation, and seem determined to walk no more with their Lord. Such, if they persist, will be cripples all their lives; they cannot attain to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Divine power, which He would bestow, where simple obedience accompanies all his requisitions.

In our meeting last fourth-day, the 20th, I felt an intimation to kneel, which after a time of shrinking, was given up to. It was such a trial as I had never before experienced. I was favored to get through, though under such feelings of great unworthiness and deep mortification, that afterwards I thought if the elders were to inform me they were now satisfied I had no part in the ministry, it would be sufficient to induce me to refrain hereafter from appearing in that way. Although very little sense of Divine power seemed to accompany my mind in the performance of what I believed was the Master's requiring, I have not felt anything like condemnation, but a desire to be more steadily devoted to his service, that in childlike simplicity I may comply with his commands, however foolish the work may appear in the eye of worldly wisdom—this must all be mortified and laid in the dust.

1821, Second month 4th. This morning we had a stranger at our meeting. In his testimony he told us his mind had been much exercised for several days past, under a belief that considerable change would be made among us in this place. Many who were as spiritual fathers and mothers would be removed; and he wished the younger part of the Society might manifest the desire Elisha did to continue with his master Elijah, so as to bear up their hands during their stay amongst us; and that as he did, we also should be engaged to desire that a double portion of the good Spirit which had influenced them, might rest on their successors.

It is consistent with Infinite Wisdom in his dealings with his children, to strip them at times of the armor which He had furnished for his work, and to draw their attention to the state of their own minds; that having been engaged to promote the cultivation of the vineyards of others, their own may not be neglected. In this dispensation it is necessary to watch against the feeling of impatience, so as to be induced to seek after something, to supply the loss which is experienced by the removal of that portion of exercise we have had for others, and in which we have been furnished with suitable matter for them and food for ourselves. Here it is necessary to keep the faith and the patience of the saints; in which we shall be enabled to resist temptation, and be prepared to receive our Lord at his coming, who will pronounce those servants blessed, whom He shall find watching.

25th. Several days ago, I had some instructive conversation with my beloved father respecting the ministry, and the present very depressed state of our religious Society. The falling away among us of many, who had been divinely favored with gifts for the edification of the church, and perfecting the work assigned them, appeared to me to have produced a slight estimation of these gifts, and to create the opinion that very little dependence was to be placed upon those occupying this station; as such sorrowful evidence had been given of great instability in some who had made high profession, and preached much against the defects of others. He remarked that the degeneracy was not greater than among the Jews; and yet the prophets, by faithfulness to the Heavenly Leader, were enabled to stand their ground, and boldly declare against the corruptions of that day. That a gift in the ministry was more important than any other. By living in the gift, keeping daily under religious exercise, so as to be prepared to act whenever the gift opens any service, and in simplicity, without creaturely contrivance or adorning, yielding obedience thereto, we may experience a growth, and be instrumental in building up the waste places of Zion. On the other hand, if we keep not close to our gifts, we may miss of a growth, and become the means of introducing a lifeless, windy ministry into the church, which may bring people into a form of godliness, but without the power.

Fifth month 10th. When we seem a little to have left that innocency and childlike dependence which is essential to those who desire to be the faithful companions of a crucified Lord, He in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, sees proper to vary his dispensations in order to bring back and to show us by experience, that safety is only to be witnessed through close watchfulness and entire reliance upon Him. In our meeting on first-day morning the sixth, a number of instructive views passed before my mind, in relation to the fearful condition which those will be found in who have been living as without God in the world, when He rises up to judgment and also regarding the fallacy of cherishing any disposition or practice, opposed to the humility and self-denial of Christ; to which seemed applicable his declaration, “Every plant which my heavenly Father has not planted shall be rooted up.”

As has been the case before, these openings disappeared without leaving much impression, and a time of wrestling with floating thoughts, in order to get to a place of steady waiting, ensued. Towards the latter part of the meeting, that expression again came up, producing the sensation of duty to communicate it, accompanied with the reluctance to engage in the awful work. I endeavored to wait for the perturbation to subside, that if anything was said, it might be with proper deliberation; and when the word seemed to be in my mouth, I stood up and repeated the above expression of our Savior, with some little addition; but as I waited in expectation that further matter would be furnished, as it had been at other times, to my admiration, the prospect died away, with all ability to say a word. A declaration of the Most High, respecting his own Divine character presented, but fearing to utter anything as in his name, without feeling his authority, and thus be liable to the query, “Who has required this at your hand?” I omitted it and stood silent for some little time, and then closed with a short observation in reference to the passage I had recited, and sat down. I felt quite calm, and, though without seeing how I had missed my way, concluded the affair had laid me open to criticism, and perhaps just censure; but I believed it best to submit quietly to all the consequences; not doubting that if I labored to keep near to Him whom I desired to serve, it would prove useful in the end.

When an opportunity occurred, I made the enquiry of my beloved parents, whether they did not think I had missed in some way? My father, in a tender manner replied, it was best not to dwell too much upon it; what I had said was not unsound, and it was our duty to endeavor to keep near to the gift, and in simplicity to yield to its requiring. He had found in his services, that to begin low and gradually to rise, as the opening strengthened, was safest. This led me to apprehend I had spoken too loudly and strongly, from a degree of excitement, and that might have been one cause of closing the opening, if there was no other. How necessary is it for all who have been in measure cleansed by his sanctifying Word, carefully to guard against the subtlety of the enemy in all his presentations, lest they thereby become wounded; and in the day when they should have on their armor to engage in the Lord's cause, they may find that He is not with them, as He was wont to be in seasons of greater tenderness, and more faithful obedience to his will.

After the above event, I received the following note from a tender-feeling Friend in the ministry:

'Dear Friend,

If I was capable of feeling with you this morning, I supposed the opening closed unexpectedly; and am free to tell you it has several times been my case: when I have risen, as I thought in the clearness, the opening has suddenly closed, and I have taken my seat in much self-abasement, and been brought into deep searching of heart. But as I have endeavored to yield myself to the all-wise disposal of Him, who knows the motive for action better than we know it ourselves, I have found them instructive lessons. He condescends to make use of the means best calculated to humble our proud natures, and promote our purification, and furtherance in the way and work whereunto He has called us; making us fully sensible from where comes our sufficiency, that we may draw all our supplies from the alone sure Source of strength and consolation.

For verily the applause or the reproaches of men, will avail but little in the hour of trial. I feel my own littleness, and am aware that my experience is small, but desire your encouragement and preservation in the Truth.

Your affectionate Friend,

S. H.

27th. Living near the river, I have often observed great care is taken by the seamen when they come into port, to secure their vessels properly at the wharf. While they are thus riding in deep water, although high winds may arise, creating much agitation in the unstable element, they remain uninjured. Equal caution is manifest when they are about taking their departure.

All parts of the rigging are put in complete readiness; the fasts are gradually loosened, and the proper time is watched to detach the last mooring, in order to guard against running in contact with other vessels, and thereby damaging themselves and others. When they have satisfactorily made the stream, the commands of the pilot must be strictly observed to keep from grounding on either shore. This caution is necessarily observed in vessels of all dimensions, in proportion to their size and importance. These circumstances conveyed instruction to me on the subject of the ministry. When the mind is in a state of rest, the first openings of Truth may produce a slight impression of the service to be performed; or an introduction into a painful labor after the life of Truth, under a conviction of our inability to do anything for ourselves or others, may tend to let the mind down into a view of its own weakness. These sensations seem like loosening it from its moorings, and beget a willingness to do anything that the Lord may require. Sometimes these openings are taken away and seem lost, and are followed with the apprehension they will not reappear. But He in whose hand the work is, knows when to put forth his own. He gently brings the concern up with more life and clearness, until the word is in the mouth, and we feel released from all impediment to communicate what the Lord may gradually open before us.

If this preparation is not carefully waited for, either the Gospel may not be preached, or the instrument labor with pain to himself, or to those who hear him. It is of great importance to wait for, and to move in the Lord's time. Then shall we be enabled, through humble reliance upon Him, faithfully and acceptably to comply with all his requirings, in the prosecution of this truly weighty and awful work.

Sixth month 6th. Last week my brother Thomas and myself, went to John Comfort's, in Bucks county, and attended the Quarterly Meeting held the 31st. The lack of faithful, skillful standard-bearers, who know how to keep their places in patience, appeared evident. A meeting may be easily drawn from a solid, gathered state, by hasty and unadvised interference and creaturely activity.

Seventh month 26th. There are seasons in which it is peculiarly needful to profit by the exhortation of Paul to Timothy: “You therefore endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.” We cannot suppose he wished him to become callous and insensible to the natural effect on his feelings, of those things which are hard to bear, but that he might attain to that state of quiet, firm standing, in which he could patiently endure them, without being in danger of making shipwreck and becoming cast away. When little encouragement is to be derived from others, and the soul is closely beset with tossing, and is tempted to apply to the creature for relief and consolation, how needful is it to feel after a renewal of the invincible faith, by which we may be enabled to possess the soul in patience, and to stand still, confiding in the eternal arm; in the belief that according to his ancient goodness, the Lord will appear in due time for our help, and enable us to tread Satan and all his presentations under foot, and to ascribe unto the Lord God, the power and the glory, and the right to rule and to reign in the hearts of all his rational creation.

Ninth month 9th. Within the last two months I have passed through several close trials, which I hope terminated to my advantage.

The enemy of all righteousness seeks to destroy the precious birth which is of Divine begetting. It matters not to him by what means and unless those who are the disciples of Christ keep steadily upon the watch, he may even delude them under the pretext of religious concern for the preservation of an individual, to speak of his defects, or to represent actions which he has done innocently, in such a manner to another, as to create an unfavorable prejudice against him, and thereby block up his way for the free exercise of his gift. What mischief would be prevented, if the Divine exhortation was always complied with, under the clothing of a restoring spirit: “If your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Many surmises respecting actions and motives would prove unfounded, and the precious unity of the Spirit be preserved and strengthened. But through all my besetments and plungings, gracious Goodness was near, and manifested itself for my help; and when the tempest beat high, at times the Master commanded a calm; furnishing renewed ability to rise above all the swellings and raging of the enemy, and to put my trust in Him alone, who tenderly watches over his flock, and preserves it by day and by night.

16th. The goodness and mercy of our Heavenly Father are often manifested in visiting us with his love and life, even at times when we have not as faithfully kept his command as we should; giving us a share of the work in his vineyard, and thereby engaging us to bow before Him in gratitude and humility. What cause have we reverently to acknowledge his long suffering and kindness toward us, in plucking our feet out of the miry clay, and setting them upon a Rock that is higher than we, again establishing our goings, and putting a new song into our mouths, even praises to his great and everlastingly worthy name. I feel desirous to increase in dedication and obedience to Him; so that everything that denies may be escaped, and my heart be made and preserved a temple for his holiness to dwell in.

1822, Second month 3rd. The Monthly Meeting having recommended me to the care of the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders in the Eleventh month last, after holding the subject under its consideration, I was yesterday acknowledged a minister by that meeting, and acquainted with its conclusion this morning, by two Friends, nominated for the purpose. No station in the church will exempt us from temptation. Poverty has been my clothing, and the evil one has not been lacking in his presentations in order to draw the mind from the watch, and render it unfit for the reception of heavenly good.

Third month 1st. The ministry of the Gospel is a deep and weighty work. Many baptisms and mortifications are often necessary, to prepare the creature to minister altogether from the gift, and unreservedly to attribute the praise and the power to Him from whom alone it is derived, and to whom it belongs.

These dispensations are ungrateful to our natural feelings. Abasement and insufficiency in ourselves, manifested to the view of others, seem the opposite of that ability with which the creature delights to be furnished, and which the great Head of the church, at times, graciously affords, but for wise purposes, also sees proper to withhold in a great degree, even when a necessity is imposed to stand forth in the work. In such case it is difficult to see the right stepping stones; and if we do not abide under the cross, we may utter what He does not give; which confuses the mind, exposes our impotence, and fails to profit the people. I think this was my own case, in some measure, about two weeks back. It had a humbling effect, producing conviction of my utter incapacity for the work, only as the Lord is pleased renewedly to endow with fresh qualification and matter for the service.

Fourth month 21st. During the past week was held our Yearly Meeting. On the previous seventh-day I attended that for ministers and elders, the first Select Meeting I have sat in. The answers to the queries would indicate a sound substantial ministry among us; but it is sorrowful to believe that they do not all give a just view of its state. There is much passed off upon the people for Gospel ministry, which is no better than the divination of man, having its origin in his will and contrivance. Many are deceived with it, for lack of having access themselves to that which is within the veil, and would give a true sense of what is, and what is not of the pure Truth.

While the minds of people are outward, looking for words, and ministers are not careful steadfastly to keep in their tents, until the true Shepherd puts forth and goes before, but are seeking to gratify the itching ear and their own unruly tongues, we shall have a ministry of words; which though amusing to the multitude and tickling the vanity of the preacher, will eventually land both in confusion and barrenness.

Our beloved Friend, George Withy, from Frenchay, near Bristol, England, was with us, and faithfully bore testimony to the ancient foundation on which the Church of Christ is built, and to the doctrines of the everlasting Gospel; cautioning Friends against airy flights into the region of speculation; and declaring that however some may soar, as among the stars, or build their nests as with the eagles, the Lord in his time would bring them down, and lay their honor, (if honor it might be called,) in the dust. It was now a time of peculiar trial, permitted to come upon us; but as we dwelt in the everlasting patience, the time would again come, when the Lord would take his work into his own hands, and it should again be said, “The Lord's power is over all.”

We got through the business of the meeting for discipline in a pretty satisfactory manner. In all the sittings a degree of weight and solemnity was felt, although in one a spirit of darkness got up, through the unadvised interference of a few, as well as the unsavory doctrine one of them held forth. Several important subjects were brought before the meeting. A committee, which had been appointed to visit the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, made an explicit report of the state of things within our borders, exhibiting evidence of great declension from the life and power we make profession of. The propriety of endeavoring to advance our testimony against the distillation, trading in and retailing of spirituous liquors, was called into view by a minute from Maddonfield Quarterly Meeting, and the subject was recommended to the weighty attention of subordinate meetings, which were desired to report the result of their labors.

Seventh month 17th. Under an apprehension it would be proper for me to attend the meeting at the Twelfth Street house, last first-day morning, I went to it. It was a trial, but being desirous to be wherever it was my place, I gave up to the impression, though not without various thoughts how it might terminate. In the course of the meeting, there seemed to me much lack of a real sensibility on the important object for which we had convened. The minds of some seemed outward, and destitute of that travail and exercise of spirit which must be maintained, in order to experience the arising of Divine life and virtue in themselves. As these thoughts and sensations continued with me much of the time, I believed it right to stand up, and as it might be opened before me, express the views we hold of the nature of Divine worship, and the requisite preparation for its right performance. There was something of the openings of Divine life experienced; but not keeping sufficiently low, I got, as I apprehended afterward, a little from the gift, and expressed a sentence or two, which though sound, yet lacked the savor of life; and on sitting down I was apprehensive that very little baptizing influence had accompanied my testimony.

I was almost a stranger in the meeting, having but seldom attended it, and felt mortified and concerned lest I was instrumental in ministering to a state of death, painful to those who are preserved alive in the Truth. On returning home and reflecting upon what had passed, I gave way to the suggestions of the evil-one to such degree, that I became carried away with his insinuations. My pride was mortified with the belief, that those at meeting must have seen my inability for the work, and I concluded it was evident I was unfit for the ministry. Under much distress, and fear lest I might be drawn from the true foundation, my secret petitions, through an interval of tenderness, were put up, that He who only could preserve from falling, would be round about, and still keep the swellings of temptations from overpowering me. I hope the instruction conveyed under this occurrence will not be soon forgotten. The repetition of such is very undesirable to the unmortified pride of man, and doubtless would be less frequent if we dwelt in the valley of humility, keeping a watch over that tendency in us to be exalted by the favors conferred; not to feed our pride, but for the honor of his great Name who immediately bestows them, and for the advancement of his cause in the earth.

About a week afterward I met a beloved elderly Friend, and told him of the distress I had passed through, from the apprehension that my appearance at their meeting was not accompanied with the savor of life, as gospel ministry ought to be. He was very tender of me, and gave me to understand that it had not given him any uneasiness. So I hoped that, in part, my distress had been produced through the buffetings of Satan.

Ninth month 17th. In the course of the last five years, a few members of our religious Society in the Eastern States, having indulged a disposition to think themselves wise above what is written, fell into the practice of spiritualizing many parts of the Holy Scriptures which have a literal meaning.

Differing from their Friends respecting some passages, and imagining they had attained to greater light and experience, they pretended that as every one had the light in himself, their supposed revelations were not to be submitted to the judgment of others, as any criterion of their correctness. Their pretensions were plausible in the view of those who were unacquainted with the delusions of Satan, and as they could make long speeches with feigned words and high sounding sentiments, they deceived some into the opinion that they were to revive the ancient principles and spirituality of the Society; from which, they averred, it had now lamentably degenerated. At first their real sentiments were much concealed; but as they became exalted in their own conceit, and the childlike state, in which alone there is safety, was lost, they grew more bold, their errors more apparent, and they denounced the Society generally, as corrupt; and some went so far as to pronounce individuals as cursed. They were labored with by their friends for their preservation and recovery, but to little effect; they alleged that they could see the states of others, but such were their attainments, that others could not comprehend them.

All kind of restraint was irksome. They pronounced the discipline mere tradition, and useless to those who had a spiritual guide; meetings of ministers and elders were compared to synagogues of Satan, where the power and influence of mystery Babylon were peculiarly exerted. Thus a disposition was openly manifested wholly to disregard the order of the Society, and to set at defiance the government and subordination which must be maintained, to preserve a religious body from anarchy and confusion.

Several of those people having run out in principle, and in their unbecoming conduct, given great disturbance to some meetings, they were finally disowned. But the delusive spirit which actuated those persons, was not slain or banished from our borders. It is covertly at work in other Yearly Meetings, sowing the seeds of disorganization, and laboring to destroy the faith of the members in the fundamental doctrines of the gospel, as laid down in the New Testament, and professed and fully believed by our religious Society from its rise. And what adds to the mournful consideration, is, that many who have been divinely visited, and in measure obedient to the visitation, do not believe this to be the case; but are giving their strength to that spirit, which it is much to be feared has gained the ascendancy in some persons of influence in the Society.

Efforts have been made to lay waste the faith of Friends, in the divinity and atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures; doubtless for the purpose of destroying them as a test of doctrines, and to make way for the introduction and more easy spread of infidel sentiments.

The qualifications and authority, which through long faithfulness to the Truth, have been given to some by the blessed Head of the church, for the care and edification of others, are by these unsound and disaffected members, considered an arbitrary assumption of power. Although well acquainted with the leadings of the true Shepherd, if such experienced Friends unite in opposing the disorganizing attempts of the enemies of wholesome government and sound doctrine, they are considered as dangerous to the religious liberty of the members of the Society; while their concern and labor are designed to guard it from licentiousness of principle and practice.

It is a time of peculiar trial, in which it is truly needful for every sincere-hearted disciple to have his loins girded and light burning, waiting and watching for the coming of his Lord. Unless our hearts are kept pure and faithful to Him, we shall not be prepared to meet Him at his coming; and it is only when He appears, that ability is received to advocate his cause availingly, and to exalt the Truth and its blessed testimonies, over all unruly spirits.

Eleventh month 20th. Last first-day I attended Darby Meeting. The advantages of a humble, dedicated state of mind, carefully leaning on the gentle openings of the Shepherd of Israel, were experienced, to my comfort and the renewal of faith in his goodness and all-sufficiency.

Twelfth month 14th. Elias Hicks having been set at liberty by his Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, to visit parts of our Yearly Meeting, and to attend Baltimore Yearly Meeting, he arrived in Philadelphia the 7th of this month.

The following testimony was drawn up by Joseph Whitall, a minister who was remarkably well versed in the doctrines of our religious Society, as set forth by Robert Barclay, and other ancient Friends, and a most firm and steadfast believer in them:

“Having attended the last Yearly Meeting at New York, I heard Elias Hicks declare, in a public testimony, in a large meeting in the North House, that 'The same power that made Christ a Christian must make us Christians; and the same power that saved Him must save us.' Being very uneasy with the doctrine, I took a private opportunity to state to him my uneasiness. I informed him that for several years, reports had been in circulation unfavorable towards him, and that on those occasions, I had vindicated his character, from a belief that he must have been misrepresented; until last fall I met with a piece in writing, said to be from his pen, in which he called Christ the Jewish Messiah; that He was only the Savior of the Jews; and that He was not the Son of God, till after the baptism by John, and the descent of the Holy Ghost. To this I offered my objections as unscriptural; but he justified them. He also declared that he considered it a matter of the greatest encouragement to believe that Christ was no more than a man, for if he were anything more, it would destroy the effect of his example to him. He admitted that he had not, till of latter time, held up the doctrine that Christ was liable to fall like other men.

When I quoted the testimony of John, that the Word was made flesh, (or took on flesh,) he said it was impossible. I offered my sentiment, that if he persisted in preaching these doctrines, so contrary to the Scriptures, and the testimony of our ancient Friends, it would produce one of the greatest schisms that had ever happened. He allowed it would produce a schism, but that it would soon be over, for he believed his doctrine must and would prevail. Seeing that we differed so widely in sentiment on these points, I proposed to him to have a few solid Friends, ministers and elders, convened, that a discussion might be had; but he would not consent thereto; saying that he was so confirmed in his sentiments, that he should persevere therein, let the consequences be what they might.”

Signed, Joseph Whitall.

Philadelphia, Twelfth month 12th, 1822.

On fifth-day, the 19th, E. Hicks attended Green Street Meeting; said much that was very exceptionable, as it evidently tended to lower our Savior to an equality with his servants, and also to lessen the authority of the Holy Scriptures.

Twelfth month 26th. E. Hicks left the city yesterday morning. It seemed removing a weight of anxiety from our minds, and if his principles would vanish as easily, the relief would be still more complete.

1823, First month 5th. It is mournful to reflect upon the present state of our religious Society, in many places. While there is preserved a large body of substantial Friends, many others, deeply immersed in the love of the world, the desire of ease and outward greatness, and lacking in religious depth, are degenerated from that purity of heart, and well-founded zeal for the support of our principles and Christian testimonies, which so conspicuously appeared amongst our primitive Friends.

Their principles, and testimonies were dearer to them than all temporal accommodations, liberty, or life itself. Being preserved in a state of living faith and devotion to Christ Jesus, their Lord and Master, they were made quick in discerning the approach of the enemy in his most insidious forms; and they kept their eye inward to the Lord. Through his baptizing power, they were united together in bearing a faithful protest against the devices of Satan and his agents, and were thus rendered instrumental in warning and preserving the flock from his desolating ravages. But weakness and blindness have so overtaken many at this day, that they seem scarcely to know their own religious principles, and not being circumcised in heart and ears, are carried away with the sophistry of some, who through self-conceit and dependence upon their powers as men, have gone about disseminating their unsound views; much to the grief of those yet preserved as a righteous seed, and greatly to the injury of the inexperienced in the work of regeneration, and of the general welfare of the body at large.

When we hear that sentiments degrading to the divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures, are not only openly delivered from our galleries, and their unsoundness unnoticed, but contended for as being real gospel ministry, even by ministers and elders, it may be said the signs of the times are awfully portentous. What the effects of these things may be, is not yet manifest, though, I believe, all such persons, with their anti-christian sentiments, will be laid low. It may be permitted, as a scourge, to go through the Society, in order to discover the foundations we are severally building upon, and who those are that prefer Jerusalem to their chief joy. Certainly, the devastations of this spirit, and its doctrines, will be great, and the sufferings of those who stand firm against it will be proportionally severe. But if we can be favored to keep our habitations in the immutable Truth, the storm will beat against us in vain, to destroy the faith; and when the tribulation of those days is overpast, like Noah, released from his confinement, we also, in a feeling of the abatement of the floods of trial and deep suffering, will be permitted to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise, from hearts contrited under a sense of the Lord's goodness and care over us.

Chapter IV

1823—1826

Paul and Amicus—Yearly Meeting—Philadelphia Quarterly Meeting William Forster, Jr.—Richard Jordan—Visit to Washington about the Slave trade—Attends Baltimore Yearly Meeting—Fatherly Advice—Lack of a United Travail by Ministers and Elders—Visit to Quarterly Meetings—Yearly Meeting—Extraordinary Case Related—Letter to his Brother Thomas—Attends Rhode Island Yearly Meeting—Canonicut—South Kingston—Testimony of his Mother—Second Marriage—Yearly Meeting—Concern Respecting the Spread of Unsound Doctrines by Ministers—Nearly Meeting—Attends New York Yearly Meeting.

First month 17th. An adjourned Meeting for Sufferings was held today. A person with the signature of Paul, having, in the Christian Repository, at Wilmington, Delaware, addressed the Society of Friends on some doctrinal points, was replied to by another, “Amicus,” declaring himself to be a member of the Society. After the controversy had been continued more than a year, the dispute embraced the Trinity, Divinity of Christ, and the Atonement; and sentiments being advanced by Amicus, which some Friends believed to be derogatory to our faith, the subject was introduced to a late Meeting for Sufferings, paragraphs read, and a committee appointed to take the whole subject into consideration, and to report what they might judge proper for the occasion. Their report was now produced, containing a clause, disavowing any knowledge of Amicus, etc.; to be printed with those essays, which we were informed are designed to be republished in pamphlet form. It also set forth our belief respecting the Holy Scriptures, our faith in God, and in our Lord Jesus Christ, his advent, sufferings, death, atonement and resurrection, and ascension, chiefly taken from the writings of ancient Friends.

They were agreed to; the former to be sent to the Wilmington editor, and the latter to be printed in a pamphlet, and distributed through our Yearly Meeting. The excitement prevailing in our city, and in other places, occasioned by the visit of E. Hicks, produced fears in some, of circulating anything of the kind at this time, and the Meeting not coming to any decision at its first sitting, adjourned till the afternoon. On sitting down together again, the influence of external commotion seemed to have subsided, and Friends were enabled, under a covering of unusual solemnity, to unite in the foregoing conclusions.

Whatever may have been E. Hick's object in his visit to this city, the effects have been, discord and divisions among Friends. Old friendships have been dissolved, and new ones formed, according as persons have agreed or disagreed, respecting his pernicious opinions. Ministers opposed to them, are suspected to allude, in their ministry, to particular circumstances or individuals, because of the closeness of its application, and their way is accordingly much shut up.

Third month 16th. Feeling an impression upon my mind, I have attended all Friends' meetings for worship in the city, and through the condescending goodness of the Shepherd of Israel have in all of them been enabled to deliver what was opened to me, pretty much to my relief and satisfaction. In some it was trying, owing to the lowness of the stream, and perhaps, some opposition from the party spirit that prevails. This is at work to subvert the order and principles of the Society, and to gain an ascendency over those who desire to maintain them faithfully, in the wisdom and authority of Truth. The sense of this, and that many, who in years past were preciously visited, with whom we had fellowship, have now become leavened with this spirit, and are giving their strength to it, is truly affecting, and occasions much mourning for them, and for the precious cause's sake.

Fourth month 21st. This day commenced the sittings of our Yearly Meeting. After the reading of the minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings, a valuable, judicious Friend rose and said he felt more than a liberty to express his entire unity with the proceedings of that meeting, and he wished their encouragement.

Immediately after him, a member said, that in regard to that “creed, or confession of faith,” contained in the minutes, he thought it right to say, “Who has required this at your hands?” This was the signal for opposition; and those extracts from the writings of George Fox, R. Barclay, W. Penn, R. Claridge, and W. Sewell, containing the most solemn and important truths of the Christian's faith, mostly expressed in Scripture terms, were denounced by some wild, inexperienced persons, as inconsistent with reason, revelation, and the Holy Scriptures. It broke out and spread, like a flame among light rubbish.

Many unbecoming expressions were used, both in relation to the doctrine, and the Meeting for Sufferings. It soon appeared that much confusion was at hand, and the Meeting adjourned till 9 o'clock the next morning. Nearly three hours were then spent in discussing a proposition to expunge those extracts from the Meeting for Sufferings' minutes. Another person proposed that a committee be appointed to examine and report their judgment of the proceedings of that meeting. A preacher residing in this city, joined with this, and further recommended they should be instructed to consider the constitution of that body. He thought a radical change was needed; the members should hold the office for three years, and five be chosen out of each Quarterly Meeting. Another thought the two subjects should be kept distinct, and urged the expunging of the extracts, and postponing the other to a future sitting.

During this scene of confusion, and unexampled torrent of abuse, and invidious reflection upon the Meeting for Sufferings, the members of that meeting remained unmoved, and patiently bore the unbecoming conduct of many, without making a single retort. The clerk was several times urged to make a minute directing the obnoxious record to be expunged, and one proposed that if he persisted in deferring to do it, that another Friend should be named to take his place.

At length my father rose, and gave a concise statement of the institution of that Meeting, and its operations. He mentioned that the publication of our religious principles had been repeatedly made by it, in various ways, and denied the truth of those insinuations of design, on its part, to impose anything upon the Society; that the extracts were drawn from Fox, Barclay, Penn and other books, repeatedly printed and owned by our Society, etc. His remarks appeared to have an effect upon the meeting, and the clerk stated that he was the servant of the meeting, and had been endeavoring to discover what was the mind of the meeting, but from so many propositions and opposite opinions, he was unable to decide, and, therefore, would suggest that a minute be made, directing the Meeting for Sufferings not to publish the Extracts. This was acceded to by some of the leading opponents; but others more violent openly rejected it, and seemed determined to be satisfied with nothing short of an obliteration. The clerk's proposal, however, at length prevailed; but some remarked, that allowing it to remain upon the minutes, was acknowledging the doctrine by the Yearly Meeting.

This circumstance was altogether a new kind of exercise to some of us, but it was cause of gratitude, to be favored with calmness and entire freedom from all irritation. Indeed, it seemed like being preserved from the strife of tongues, and hid in the secret of the tabernacle of the Most High. The remaining sittings of the meeting were generally more satisfactory; though often attended by a painful feeling of the presence of false brethren. Our dear friend, William Forster, Jr., from England, in the closing sitting, was engaged in fervent supplication for the extendings of Divine regard towards the Lord's tribulated children; and the meeting closed soon after, under a covering of most solemn and impressive silence, which produced in my heart the involuntary acknowledgment, we are unworthy of this.

Fifth month 3rd, Was held our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. In the deliberations, a spirit was manifest, that would overturn the order of the Society, crying out overbearance, and lack of condescension, in those who felt bound to support it. The feelings produced by the spread of this spirit are becoming more painful, and as it gains strength, the love and life of Truth are departing from such. Many are robbed of their true strength, and they know it not; but are so deluded as to believe they are engaged in the work of reformation; while alas! blindness and insensibility have lamentably overtaken them.

5th. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline got through the little business which came before it with general harmony; our friend, William Forster, Jr., having much acceptable and appropriate service amongst us.

7th. Feeling much sympathy with our beloved friend, William Forster, Jr., in the trying path in which he is led amongst us, and his way being increasingly discouraging, I was inclined to meet him at Cropwell, and spend a day or two in his company; as he was about leaving the city, with the prospect of being absent many months. Accordingly, in company with our worthy friend, Richard Jordan, I attended that meeting; in which they were both engaged in public labor. In the afternoon we rode to Moorestown, and were at the Monthly Meeting there next day. William was much opened into the state of the Meeting, and upon several important doctrinal points. After he had taken his seat, my mind having been introduced into desire for the preservation of the few still left, who were given to suffer for the name of their dear Lord and Master, I believed it right to endeavor to encourage them to stand upon the watch, that no man might deprive them of their crown; and that in his own time He would give the victory over our enemies, even if it be through suffering. R. Jordan followed, and in a forcible manner labored to show the condescension of the Redeemer, and the danger those were in, who were crucifying Him afresh, counting the blood of the covenant an unholy thing, and doing despite to the Spirit of Grace. I believe we all left the meeting with heavy hearts, from the fear that many had been beguiled, and were in jeopardy of becoming bewildered in the mazes of uncertain speculation, by following their own unmortified wills, instead of living under the daily operation of the cross of Christ.

In the afternoon we rode to Josiah Reeve's, at Upper Evesham, where we passed an agreeable evening. W. Forster, Jr., set out next morning for Bass River, and we returned home.

18th. This morning being first-day, I went over to Newtown Meeting, accompanied by my brother Thomas. Pretty early in the meeting Richard Jordan rose, and after some introductory matter, opened the subject of man's creation; the purity in which he stood; the law given for his preservation and his Maker's glory; the penalty attached to the transgression of that law, and the consequences affecting himself and his posterity.

By sin he lost the Divine life, wherein he held sweet communion with his Maker; but the Son of God offered himself a ransom for fallen man, to be manifested in due time, and procured for him the opportunity, and the means to enable him to work out his salvation. As in Adam all died, so in and by Christ, shall all be made alive; that is, all who are obedient to the requirings of his Holy Spirit, shall be renewed up into the image of God, and made alive unto Him. The Apostle testified, “You are not your own, you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.”

If Adam's natural life alone had been spared, he remarked, he would still have remained in a state of separation from God; as he possessed no power whereby he could restore himself to that Divine spiritual life which he lost by transgression; and, therefore, the means through which his restoration to the Divine communion was to be effected, must also have been provided, agreeable to the declaration, “He that spared not his own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with him freely give us all things.” “And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.”

My mind was brought under exercise, in feeling the lifelessness and barrenness which predominate among many there; produced by frequent disobedience, and despising the many favors which a long suffering God, had from time to time, extended to them, immediately and instrumentally. The language was brought to view, “You only have I known of all the families of the earth, and therefore I will punish you.” I was enabled to discharge myself pretty fully. R. Jordan appeared in supplication, and I hope some profitable impression was made.

23rd. Having been appointed, with several other members of the Meeting for Sufferings, to obtain information respecting the foreign trade in the natives of Africa, two of us set off this day at noon for Washington, and arrived there in about twenty-four hours. By the open, frank attentions of the Secretary of the Navy, and several of his clerks, we had access to the public documents upon the subject, and made such transcripts as we thought would be interesting and useful, to show the present state of that horrible traffic; and returned home in about a week.

Sixth month 22nd. Feeling a draft in my mind, I attended the meetings in the city, and the Monthly Meeting of Frankford. Some humiliating feelings were passed through, which tended to diminish self-dependence; but through all, I had reason to believe that the good Hand was still extended, even towards a rebellious gainsaying people, to gather them to the teachings of Christ in themselves; that thereby they might have spiritual food in their own houses, and water in their own cisterns.

Tenth month 15th. Having a concern to attend the meetings in this city, I went accordingly to them all, and whatever effect may have been produced upon others, I derived some instruction in the exercise of the gift of Gospel ministry. In the first meeting, the matter opened before me, as I thought, too slowly to be accompanied with the evidence that it was of Divine origin, which I desired. Sometimes I was ready to fear I should stop and close in confusion. But as I endeavored to be composed and steady in my mind, the openings continued, until I believed my duty was discharged. I felt calm and peaceful.

The strait into which I had been brought, remained with me several days, and had a useful effect; and to the close of this service, I was more and more favored with the Master's help, and no doubt, it tended to enable me to bear these favors, without being puffed up with them, as poor, weak mortals are too apt to be. It also increased my dependence upon, and confidence in the Divine openings of the gift; by which I was enabled to speak more deliberately, and to avoid alarm when matter did not flow as fast as I wished, or the sense of power was not as strong as I desired.

We have great cause to put our trust in the great Shepherd of the sheep, who is altogether sufficient for his own work, and will take care of it and of us too, as we faithfully follow and rely upon Him. He will not only put us forth, but go before, qualifying as He shall see meet, for the work whereunto He has called us, gradually enlarging the gift, and instructing us in the right use and improvement of it. On the 13th I attended Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, where we had the company of Micajah Collins. It was to some of us a serious time, and we hoped an awakening one to some there.

Eleventh month 6th. Having attended the Yearly Meeting of Baltimore, with a minute of unity of the Monthly Meeting, I returned home some days since. Being the first religious visit with a minute, I felt more than usual on the occasion; desiring I might be preserved from everything, either in meeting or out among Friends, that would injure any one, or the cause in which I professed to be engaged. A reserved deportment is an unwelcome restraint to young people, whose minds are not under the tendering visitations of Heavenly good; and it is a trial to apprehend that our company produces this kind of feeling in them. But although cheerfulness, rightly tempered, is at times, properly the innocent clothing of the devoted mind, yet there are seasons when we are called to mourning, and the tongue seems as if it would cleave to the roof of the mouth. Subjects for conversation vanish, and we sit as objects of wonder or ridicule.

This is mortifying to the pride of our nature; but it is nevertheless useful to ourselves, and may be also to some whose conditions we are not fully aware of. It is not a pleasant thing to be a savour of death unto any, and unless our sufficiency for these things is derived from above, we may turn aside into what is not convenient for ourselves or others. To maintain a steady exercise of spirit, contributes to preserve our own strength; and may minister a savor of life to some whose souls are secretly bowed, when their exterior would not indicate such a state.

I think the Meeting was generally favored with the overshadowings of Divine good; by which the faithful were enabled in good measure to keep down wrong things, and the meeting preserved in a solid frame. It was not a time for rejoicing, as it felt as if the power of Truth rose very little higher than to keep unsettled spirits in subjection; while some were clothed with a sense that a disposition secretly prevailed to change laws, and customs, and principles heretofore owned and established by the great Head himself. Indeed, it seemed that unless He who rules with a rod of iron, and dashes in pieces, as a potter's vessel, whenever He sees fit, should manifest himself in a remarkable manner, for limiting the raging waves of the sea of unbelief, our Society will be overspread in this country, from north to south and from east to west, with the desolating ravages of that spirit, which is adulterated from the innocent life, and seeks to draw from the faith and simplicity of the gospel of Christ, into a dependence upon and conformity with the fallen wisdom of man. Its baits and snares are many, generally concealed under the guise of greater spirituality, and freedom from all entanglement by doctrine and church order and government. It is very confident of its own, and ever ready to condemn or lightly esteem the service of others, who see into its devices and testify against them.

When about leaving home, my beloved father wrote me a note on something he wished attended to, to which he subjoined the following useful hints: “Attending a Yearly Meeting exposes to much company; and watchfulness against a great deal of conversation seems peculiarly needful, lest weakness through that channel be introduced into the mind; and in meetings I have found it most conducive to a right getting on, to keep my mind as much as possible to an inward exercise. In this state, you will experience a qualification to discover the openings or shuttings of the Divine hand, and only to move when He puts forth; and when He gives ability, make use of it in simplicity and faithfulness, not regarding or forecasting what this or that one may say or think; for it is the Lord's power alone, that is the authority of all our meetings for worship and discipline.”

14th. In company with my brother Thomas, I attended the Quarterly Meeting at Salem, on the 12th and 13th. A deep united travail amongst ministers and elders, both in their select meetings and those for worship and discipline, that we might experience the baptism of the One Spirit, by which alone we are baptized into one body, and enabled to drink together into the same Spirit, is much needed among us. Too many are great strangers to it, and appear scarcely to understand what it means. Oh! the need there is for us individually, to strive to keep near to the Master out of meetings, that we may become acquainted with his voice, and witness his preserving power, to keep us clean from the various defilements which arise from an alliance with the spirit of the world; then we should be better prepared to come together in a lively state of mind, to engage in the work the Lord would assign to us. It is only as we apply to our holy Head for his help and instruction, that we can grow in grace and the knowledge of the Son of God. All speculations on this knowledge are totally incompetent to furnish one glimpse of his transcendent glory, or to remove doubts with which the unregenerate soul is surrounded. These truths were held up to view, under a little renewed ability, derived from his exhaustless treasury, though accompanied with feelings that there were impediments to the free arising of the power of Truth into dominion.

1824, Second month 2nd. In our Quarterly Meeting we had the company of our friends, William Forster, Jr. and John Justice of Bucks County. It was attended with painful feelings, from the prevalence of a disorganizing spirit, covertly at work, to unsettle the unwary, and to strengthen those who are enemies to the cross of Christ, and consequently to good order and sound judgment in the church. Sensible that the Divine life and power of Truth were oppressed, the honest-hearted were bowed in spirit, and kept in a state of silent waiting and suffering.

One of the unsettled, members said, the knowledge of the Scriptures puffed up; they made hireling ministers, and had done more hurt than good in our Society; and he was not easy to apply the word holy to them: this was a plain indication of the evil spirit of unbelief at work among these people.

The power of Truth appeared to gain but little ascendency, yet these disturbers were so kept down, that the meeting passed over without any material difficulty, except the painful sensations produced by those remarks.

15th. On the 7th, I left home for Springfield, attended that meeting, and on the 9th proceeded to Concord, and was at their Select Quarterly Meeting. The unsoundness of some elders was plainly alluded to, and the great loss arising therefrom to persons in the station of ministers, especially the young and inexperienced. How is it possible for elders to judge and to decide rightly of the soundness of ministers, when they themselves have departed from the Christian faith, and gone into uncertain speculation, and a worldly spirit? In the forepart of the meeting next day, I had something to say, by way of ministry; but being under some fear of going beyond the commission, I was afterwards apprehensive I took my seat too early. It was in backwardness, I attempted to speak in so large a meeting; but I derived some instruction on the necessity of faithfully doing our duty, without improperly giving way to the fear of man. Yet even in this, I believe there may be a snare; as some who say they are not to fear or regard men in their religious duty, run out into great activity, to the burden of the church, and thereby dissipate what little tenderness and godly fear they were once favored with.

I stayed the meeting for worship held at Concord, the following day, the 11th, in which William Forster, Jr., had close, searching service; fifth-day was with him at Birmingham, and went from there in the afternoon to my brother's. The review, upon the whole, afforded peace.

Third month 10th. Having for some weeks had my mind turned towards Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, I gave up to go this morning, after thinking I was released from it; having no will to go or stay distinct from doing the Divine will. Although nothing remarkable occurred in either meeting, I was well satisfied on my return, that I was led there. The unmerited mercy of the Shepherd of Israel, in still continuing his goodness and favors to us, however undeserving, was felt and held forth; but He might be so slighted by frequent disobedience, as to withdraw his kindness, and the gifts which He had bestowed for the good of individuals, and of the Society at large, and for the glory and renown of his great Name. There was some exercise felt in the meeting for discipline, for the preservation of that which was ready to die, and for restoring the waste places in the walls of Zion. But the lack of a more general living concern and united travail, makes it laborious work, and the little apprehended benefit is discouraging; yet I hope those who prefer Jerusalem above their chief joy, will hold fast their confidence in the Lord's power and goodness; believing he will yet make the courts of Zion to flourish, and give them to see the desire of their souls, and be satisfied.

Fourth month 17th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders commenced this day. Some Friends had acceptable service, tending to enforce the practice of inward, reverent waiting in our religious meetings; which will contribute more to gather the people than the mere expression of words. The replies to the Queries, exhibited a low state of the inferior Meetings of Ministers and Elders, as regards unity and blameless conduct amongst men, in some places.

On first-day morning, the 18th, Isaac Stevenson, from England, who was present at Pine Street Meeting, bore a clear and unequivocal testimony to the divinity of Christ, and the efficacy of his propitiatory sacrifice; that it is through much tribulation the righteous enter the kingdom; but there are seasons in which they are permitted to have a foretaste of the joys which shall be hereafter revealed; that as the glory of the latter house was to transcend that of the former, the humble, faithful traveler at times experiences the glory of the Lord revealed in his soul, to his unspeakable consolation.

On second-day, the 19th, we began the business of the Yearly Meeting; when the reading of the usual epistolary correspondence brought a solemnity over the meeting; renewing the evidence that unity still subsists between the various parts of our widely extended Society. The sittings on Third-day were generally occupied in hearing the reports and considering the state of the subordinate meetings, as set forth in the replies to the Queries; during which much was said to edification. Fourth-day morning, the Select Meeting concluded its sessions. A proposition from the Southern Quarterly Meeting, which is located in the State of Delaware, where slavery exists, that a rule of discipline should be made against Friends hiring slaves for the profit of the owners, was referred to a committee; and at a future sitting, a rule was adopted, authorizing Monthly Meetings to disown those members who could not be persuaded to desist from the practice.

A woman Friend[1] who came into our meeting in the afternoon, was extensively engaged in speaking to those members who had partaken, or were in danger of eating, of the fruit of the tree of unbelief. She related the case of a young man of very superior talents and advantages, who spent much time to ascertain and decide upon the religious principles he should adopt; when before he was aware, he had so imbibed the spirit of unbelief, that he became darkened and bewildered to that degree, his mind could settle upon no fixed principles. He adopted the infidel opinion that we are not bound to believe what we cannot comprehend; and then rejected the plain testimony of the Holy Scriptures, to the sacred, mysterious truths of the gospel of salvation, by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It pleased the Lord to lay him upon a bed of languishing; he lingered long, and finding himself destitute of all foundation for the hope of future happiness in the world to come, his state of mind became awful. Ardently desirous of some evidence upon which he could rest his hope of salvation, and yet utterly incapable of believing the unutterable truths he had so long accustomed himself to doubt or call in question, he was led at last fervently to pray, that the Lord would be pleased to grant him some assurance of their reality. After a long season of bitter conflict, his prayer was heard; his mind was furnished with a degree of the true faith, which is of the operation of the Spirit of God in the heart; which had once been tendered by it, and long since lost. Now he could receive the doctrines of the Scriptures, which had been to him as sealed with seven seals; and at his desire, they were frequently read to him, with some other religious books, I think she said, sometimes in the middle of the night. He became like a weaned child; all dependence upon reason, or any other power of his own, was utterly renounced, and as a new-born babe, he now received, with meekness, the engrafted Word, which is able to save the soul; rejoicing in the means which a gracious Creator has provided, as helps in the way and work of salvation, through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

The false position which the young man had unwisely adopted, was controverted at large: and individuals in the meeting were feelingly and fervently labored with, to guard them against an evil heart of unbelief, and to convince them of the dangerous consequence of attempting to weaken the testimony of the Holy Scriptures, and thus destroy the faith of others, in the doctrines of life and salvation by Jesus Christ.

The remaining business of the Yearly Meeting was satisfactorily disposed of in three sittings, closing on sixth-day evening. There was much cause for humble acknowledgment to the God and Father of all our sure mercies, for the signal and continued extension of his Divine regard to us, throughout the sittings of this meeting; clothing the minds of many with a solid, steady travail, for the welfare and stability of the church; and granting the evidence of his power and authority presiding over and amongst us. It seemed to confound the wisdom of the carnally wise, and to bring to naught all the plans which had been devised against the peace, order and government which have so long prevailed in our religious Society. I trust it will prove as food that shall be found again after many days; and as a stay to some who have been too easily tossed to and fro by the windy doctrines of men.

Fifth month 3rd. Our Quarterly Meeting for Ministers and Elders was held. In the meeting for business, R. Jordan was acceptably engaged, bearing a full and clear testimony to our blessed Savior, both as to his Godhead and manhood.

23rd. Within the last two weeks, I felt a concern to attend all the meetings in the city, and though considerable discouragement was in the way, I gave up to the prospect, and was enabled to get through to tolerable satisfaction. A greater now of strength and matter was afforded at some times than at others, and when the stream seemed low, it tended to humble and keep me low with it. The work under such dispensations, is more mortifying, though not the less salutary to the preacher as well as hearer, provided we are steadily kept under Divine guidance. I hope it was the case in a good degree, and I at least derived some instruction in the course of the visit, in which there seemed to be some enlargement of the gift.

My brother Thomas being absent, in company with Isaac Stevenson, on his religious visit to this country, in one of the letters which passed between us, was the following paragraph, which I wish to preserve; as it contains an exercise I have sometimes felt for the preservation of my brothers and sisters, and our right improvement of the talents and favors that have been dispensed to us: “I have been often led to reflect upon the many favors which have been conferred upon our family by a merciful and beneficent Creator. Although temporal riches have not fallen to our trust, yet a plentiful supply of the necessaries and comforts of life has been within our reach; and while these have been thus bestowed for our own accommodation, we have also possessed the means to fulfill the duties of social life, and to contribute to meliorate the distressed condition of others.

But above all these, are to be acknowledged the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Our parents being visited in early life by the Day-Spring from on high, and with sincerity of heart faithfully yielding to these visitations, were entrusted with precious gifts; not only designed for their blessing, but fitting them for exemplary usefulness in the church of Christ. Through their faithfulness in bearing the cross, and suffering with the despised followers of the Lamb, they have obtained an honorable station in the church; ruled well in their own family, and by their example and precepts, have placed a weight of religious obligation upon us, their children. Where much is given much will be required.

He who has thus signally favored us with such valuable parents, as well as with spiritual gifts, will look for fruits in their season; and if we are not found in the footsteps of Christ's companions, no natural connections, nor descent from virtuous parents, will remedy the defect, or be admitted as an excuse. It will be useless to imagine that the faithfulness of dedicated parents, will preserve us from the evils that abound in the world, or shield us for neglect of the means put into our hands, from the just and awful inquisition for the use we have made of our Lord's goods. I often feel desirous we may lay these things deeply to heart; that being convinced of the indispensable necessity of dedicating ourselves wholly to the Lord's service; and under the sense of our continued need of Divine preservation, we may in humility and reverence, implore Him from day to day, for fresh supplies of his Holy Spirit, to enable us to follow Him in the regeneration, and to fill with propriety whatever station He may design for us in his church. Being thoroughly washed and purged from every defilement, we should thus become living, experimental witnesses of the efficacy of his Grace; and prepared in truth to declare to others, what our eyes had seen and our hands had handled of the good Word of life. May we then, my dear brother, not seeking to adorn ourselves in any manner with what has been dispensed for our stewardship, but in true humility of heart, seek the Lord's honor above everything else; and then He will continue the blessing which rested upon the head of Joseph, unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills.”

Sixth month 19th. At our last Monthly Meeting, I obtained a minute of its concurrence to attend the Yearly Meeting to be held in Rhode Island, and a few meetings in the neighborhood of Newport. On several accounts, the Yearly Meeting was a very exercising time. In that for worship, held on first-day, some disaffected persons interrupted the solemnity, with their unsavory and unauthorized communications. The reports indicated that love and unity, and the attendance of public worship, were at a low ebb in some places. Considerable counsel was extended by our friends William Forster, Jr., and Isaac Stevenson, of England, and others; which appeared to be acceptable to many Friends, and in which I had some little share. But the lack of feeling and clear discernment on the part of some others, was very affecting; which with observations made by some persons, made several sittings, seasons of painful exercise and mourning. Friends are very generally opposed to the wild pretensions of these visionary, ranting spirits, and seem resolved to maintain the discipline and order of the Society over their heads. Many have suffered deeply by them, and I hope with a good degree of patience. Friends were encouraged to stand firm, and to treat with offenders in the restoring spirit of meekness; waiting upon the Head of the Church, to feel their own incapacity for the work; that in the spirit of prayer and supplication, they might apply to Him for Divine aid to labor successfully for the help of their brethren; and thereby raise a testimony in the hearts of the rebellious, that their restoration to the footsteps of the flock, was the primary object of their concern.

The business was finished on fifth-day evening, and after such occasions of suffering, it afforded comfort to be favored with a peaceful satisfactory close; our dear friend, William Forster, Jr., being engaged in fervent supplication for the different classes; that we might be concerned to fill up faithfully the various measures of assigned duty; experiencing strength and preservation in our different allotments, however distantly separated from each other. Friends manifested much kindness, particularly our much valued and attentive hostess, Abigail Robinson, at whose house, my brother Joseph Rhoads and myself, were very agreeably accommodated.

Having a meeting appointed on Canonicut Island, where a few Friends reside, we went over on sixth-day morning, and attended it. Being the first I had held of that description, it was felt to be a serious matter for me; but believing the only ground on which we can safely move, is that of simple obedience, I was preserved in calmness and dedication to the Lord's will; wherein I was enabled to discharge myself of what appeared to be opened for the people; and as I was a child in the work, He who knows how to lead forth his children, dealt with me according to my capacity; neither trusting me with great things, nor failing to afford the consolation of peaceful tranquility throughout the day. The Friends there appeared to be satisfied.

We attended the Western Meeting at South Kingston on first-day; the Monthly Meeting at Tower Hill on second-day, and on third and fourth-days, had appointed meetings at Richmond and Hopkinton. The last was a favored time, in which the love and life of the Gospel were felt, and flowed freely towards the people; it was quite unexpected to me to be thus favored in the close, but it seemed to be granted as an encouragement to future dedication to the Master's will. The people were much tendered, and an elderly man, who I supposed, was not a member, said it was the doctrine he had believed for forty years.

Ninth month 5th. My dear mother having been much confined with sickness during the last seven months, so far recovered, as to be able to attend our meeting a few times in the past four weeks. This morning she was engaged to declare that our Lord Jesus Christ, is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, by whom alone our salvation is to be effected. She said “She was never before so fully prepared to bear testimony to the excellency, the wisdom, and the blessedness of the Gospel plan: that Christ was the way, she was bold to declare, and that it was a precious thing to have faith in Him.” Speaking of the hope of the true believer, she observed, that at a time when she apprehended herself on the confines of the grave, “I said, what a blessed hope! and any other hope of salvation than by and through the mediation of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, will prove like the hope of the hypocrite, that shall perish. When brought to such a crisis as this, having experienced our own wills, lusts and affections, reduced by the operation of his grace—that grace which came by Jesus Christ—and nailed to the cross, in some little degree comparable to his body being nailed to the outward cross, in which we might say, if this cup may not pass from me, not my will but yours be done, then are we prepared to acknowledge that it is not by anything we have done, but all of the mercy of God; not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy He saves us; by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost.”

Such a testimony to the Gospel of salvation; and the entire uselessness of man's righteousness, which he performs in his own time and strength, delivered by one who seemed to be raised from the dead, I thought was worth preserving. It shows the continued goodness of the Heavenly Parent, in authorizing his servants to publish the glad tidings of peace through his well beloved Son, even to a rebellious and gainsaying people, whether they hear or forbear.

After the decease of my dear wife, I continued unmarried between nine and ten years; during which I passed through many dispensations, designed, I trust, to promote my growth in the work of salvation, and prepare me for the service to which the Lord would call me in his church. At one time when my mind was under deep plunges, and with little sense of the Lord's presence and supporting power, our friend, Elizabeth Robson, came to our meeting at Pine street; and as I sat under such feelings stripped of all good, I said in my heart, if she would rise and utter the expressions of our blessed Savior to Peter, it would be a convincing confirmation that I was not entirely forsaken. Soon after the thought had passed through my mind, she rose and began with these words, “Simon behold, Satan has desired to have you that he may sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, that your faith fail not.” It was very striking to me, and tendered my spirit, reviving my faith and dissipating those fears with which I had been assailed. It seemed an evidence of the reality of the communion of exercised spirits, still continued in the church of Christ.

My thoughts having been drawn towards my beloved friend Elizabeth Barton, a minister, daughter of John and Rebecca Barton, with a view of proposing our marriage, the prospect of entering again into the marriage covenant, was not less serious than in the former union; and brought me into strong desire to do nothing but what was according to the Lord's will; often looking to Him for evidence of the propriety of such a movement; which I believe was also her sincere concern.

My dear friend having a religions draft to attend Baltimore Yearly Meeting, she was accompanied to it, in the Tenth month, by our valued Friends, Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve, who were like parents in the Truth to both of us. The Lord equipped and anointed her for the work she was engaged in, much to the satisfaction of Friends there, and to her beloved companions.

Our marriage was accomplished after her return from this visit, at Newtown, N. J., on the twenty-third day of the Twelfth month, 1824; at which time we were favored with a solid satisfactory meeting, under a sense of the owning presence of our blessed Lord and Master.

1825, Fourth month 18th. Our Yearly Meeting began on this day. The epistles from the different Yearly Meetings were read, to the comfort and strength of the meeting. A proposal that “All important appointments should be made for a limited time,” was introduced to the Yearly Meeting by the report of one of the Quarterly Meetings. It was a favorite scheme with the followers of Elias Hicks. The opposition made to his principles by the Elders of Philadelphia, having been the beginning of difficulty to him in spreading his unsound notions, by rousing up many in the Society to examine and to reject them, as subversive of the fundamental doctrines of Christianity, and the peace and discipline of our Society, he had expressed at different times, his repugnance to Meetings of Ministers and Elders, and the Meeting for Sufferings; saying they were blocks in his way and must be removed. Considerable discussion followed the opening of it to the meeting. The friends of Elias Hicks labored hard to induce the meeting to take hold of the proposition; but after much time spent on it, a minute was made, that way did not open to take any such step.

It was very obvious that the design of introducing this subject, was to pave the way for the formation of such a Meeting for Sufferings, as would publish and spread these anti-christian sentiments; and to remove all elders who had or should discountenance E. Hicks, and other ministers who held his opinions.

Ministers who preached the doctrines of the New Testament, would be subjected to the same treatment. The plea that such had “become burdensome,” advanced by one of them during the discussion, and, in their estimation, had lost their gifts, would be sufficient to remove them. Unsound principles might thus be propagated with impunity, and libertinism and ranterism would, in places, overrun the Society. Thus the beautiful and excellent order, which the Head of the church has instituted in our Religious Society, and the hedge erected as a defense upon the glory, might be destroyed; and the members become a prey to the wild schemes and imaginations of every ambitious pretender to superior light.

Much concern was felt by many Friends, respecting this Yearly Meeting. Although we were not favored at all times, with such a covering of solemnity as we might desire, those restless people, notwithstanding their exertions to support their own plans, were entirely defeated; they did not gain a single point; and Friends rejoiced in a sense of the preservation still extended to us in this large annual assembly, by our holy Head and High Priest.

Fifth month 25th. At our Monthly Meeting, held this day, a Friend opened a concern with which his mind had been long impressed, respecting the spreading of unsound principles amongst the members, by various means. He thought it his place to open the subject, that we might consider whether it was the duty of the meeting to adopt any measures to guard the members against their pernicious tendency. Several spoke in favor of something being done to warn the members of the dangerous opinions. Nothing, however, was agreed to be done at present; yet the opening and spreading of the subject before the meeting, showed that Friends were alive to the dangerous tendency of the sentiments of E. Hicks, and it will gradually prepare for decisive measures in due time.

Eighth month 1st. Our Quarterly Meeting was a time of debate, on the case of a substantial elder whom the Green Street Meeting had attempted to displace, under the plea that he was out of the unity, on account of his joining with the sound elders among us, in declaring their disunity with Elias Hicks. Some tried to dismiss the case from the notice of the Quarterly Meeting, but not succeeding, it was referred to the next meeting.

Tenth month 25th. I attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting, where we had the company of Elizabeth Robson, from England. Her labors in the first meeting, and in the men's Monthly Meeting, I thought were well adapted.

26th. E. Robson was with us at our Monthly Meeting very satisfactorily, and appeared to have a just sense of the states of many.

1826, First month 25th. Having had my mind drawn at different times to visit the meetings in the country, belonging to our Quarterly Meeting, I mentioned it to the Monthly Meeting informing that as Radnor Monthly Meeting was within a convenient distance, I had attended the meetings composing it, except one; but although the discipline gave me liberty, I did not feel easy to visit the others, without the consent of the Monthly Meeting; being little known among them as a minister.

The experienced and weighty part expressed their unity, and approbation of granting me a minute. But those dissatisfied members objected to a minute being given, yet some were willing I should go without one; and persisting in their opposition, it was not minuted, and I informed Friends that I should not be easy to attend to the concern without its concurrence, expressed in writing; the prosecution of it will, of course, be deferred. Suffering for well-doing will be of use to those who rightly endure it, in a true Christian spirit. I desire to be favored with this, and to manifest the fruits of it towards others, even my inconsiderate opponents.

Second month 6th. Being convinced that the principles of infidelity have taken root in some members of our religious Society, and that it is much to be attributed to an unauthorized ministry, as the subject rested with weight upon my mind, I was induced to open it in our Select Quarterly Meeting, on the 4th, I expressed my fears that there were those among us, who, with or without design, were giving encouragement to the growth of these principles. The practice of dwelling particularly on passages of Holy Scripture, which relate to the manhood of the Lord Jesus, and in clipping others, in which his Divinity is set forth, tended to inculcate those sentiments of unbelief, and settle the young people in a disposition to slight some of the fundamental principles of Christianity. They were quick in discerning those departures, which have an injurious tendency. I had been told by one person that he did not see how the sufferings and death of Christ could affect his salvation.

This was one evidence of the effect of these unsound opinions; and it was also said, “We are not bound to believe what we cannot understand.” While some were holding up the doctrine of Christ in us the hope of glory, which is a true, sound, gospel doctrine, they were detracting from the high and holy character of the Lord Jesus; in striving to weaken or destroy the faith of the people in his sufferings in the prepared body, as of no avail in the salvation of mankind. Friends were warned against this desolating spirit; that however some might be soaring above others, and drawing persons to them, the time would come when all would be brought down, as into the valley of Jehosophat where the Lord would plead with all flesh, and show some the awfulness of endeavoring to lessen and detract from the character and offices of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Fourth month 15th. This morning the Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders commenced. Richard Jordan bore testimony to the Divine origin and excellency of the Holy Scriptures. He expressed his thankfulness that Divine Goodness had influenced his prophets, and messengers and apostles to record the creation of the visible world, and his dealings with man from the beginning;. That the outward creation was analogous to the spiritual; so that even the apostle declared that it displayed the invisible power of the Creator; and the experiences of the righteous corroborated each other; and under the Divine influence, they owned the testimonies of the Holy Spirit which had gone before. He repeated the first verse of the Epistle to the Hebrews, and particularly dwelt on the value of the record, that God had, in the last days, spoken unto us by his Son, whom He had appointed heir of all things.

Elizabeth Robson followed him in testimony to the promise of the Messiah, at the fall of Adam; renewal of that promise to Abraham; the prophecy of it by Jacob respecting Judah; and the more minute description of the character of the Redeemer by the succeeding prophets. She showed the fulfillment of those prophecies in Jesus Christ; his rejection and contemptuous treatment by the Jews, and their final assent to his crucifixion.

That He thus bore our sins, as the great propitiatory sacrifice, without the gates of Jerusalem; and that it was the gospel commission to the apostles, and to every true minister of Christ down to this day, that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. She closed her communication with expressions of great sympathy with a tried remnant among us, and the firm belief that these, as they kept on the immutable foundation, would be preserved; that a poor despised remnant would be raised up in our Society, who should stand for the honor of the great Name; and that to these the Lord would be for a crown of glory and a diadem of beauty.

16th. This morning, first-day, we had the company of our friend, E. Robson, at our meeting. She bore a plain testimony to the Redeemer and Savior of men; and expressed her sense of those present, who were endeavoring to fence themselves in a confidence in themselves, and were resisting the knockings of Christ, to gain an entrance in their hearts; and she pressed the necessity of yielding thereto, as time was fast spending, and it was a gift to be accounted for. John Parker followed in a short, lively testimony; and she concluded the meeting with solemn and affecting supplication, both for those who were thus hardening themselves against the reproofs of the Spirit of Christ, and for those who counted nothing too dear to part with for his name's sake.

17th. Soon after the opening of the Yearly Meeting, Richard Jordan spoke on the different sounds there are in the world; and whether of pipe or harp, it was necessary we should have our spiritual senses exercised to distinguish between them. If the trumpet gave an uncertain sound, who would prepare himself for the battle? He showed the difference between the first and second Adam; the first was of the earthy earthy; the second the Lord from heaven; the first was made a living soul, the second was the quickening Spirit. It was by the latter, the soul was made alive, and without it, it would be in a state of spiritual death. He bore testimony to the blessedness of having the Holy Scriptures; and mentioned the expressions of Peter, respecting Paul's writings, which, he said, the ignorant and unlearned wrested, as they did the other Scriptures. That man, by all his powers, was unable to comprehend spiritual things. He must be renewedly quickened, taught in the school of Christ; or in his ignorance going about to unravel the mysteries of the Gospel, he would involve himself in perplexity. This was the sentiment of the Society, in the beginning. They set out with no new mystery, but owned the doctrines of the Gospel, as they were promulgated by our Lord and his apostles, etc.

18th. This morning the attention of the meeting was principally occupied with the subject of the slave trade; and besides a minute expressive of the unity of the meeting with the proceedings of the Meeting for Sufferings, prepared yesterday and read this morning, it was agreed the clerk should prepare another, descriptive of the concern of the Yearly Meeting, as evinced this morning; and referring to the particular care of the Meeting for Sufferings, the subject of the slave trade, foreign and domestic. The Queries were taken up in the afternoon, and proceeded in as far as the fourth and fifth.

Feeling my own mind brought under some religious concern, I observed that I believed there was no religious Society, that had a more just estimate of the character and value of the Scriptures than the Society of Friends. That although we did not call them the Word of God, because that title belonged to our Lord Jesus Christ, yet we believed that holy men of God wrote and spoke them as they were moved by the Holy Ghost; and the more we were under the influence and government of that Grace and Truth, which came and comes by Jesus Christ, the more we should value them. I stated, as an evidence of the high estimate set upon them by our Society, that we had a rule of discipline, that any one denying the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures, was subject to disownment, if he could not be brought to acknowledge his error. By the Query which we had just heard, this meeting indirectly advises its members to be in the practice of frequently reading them. This, I stated, was conclusive proof that Friends set a high value upon them; and warned some against calling them a dead letter, having no life in them. The more we were under the influence of Divine life in ourselves, the more comfort and strength we should find in reading them. To these the experiences of the holy ancients were peculiarly valuable. They are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works; being able to make wise unto salvation, through faith which is in Christ Jesus. In proportion to the various means dispensed in inscrutable wisdom and unmerited mercy, for our aid in the work of salvation through the Holy Spirit, would be our responsibility; and at some period, an awful account must be rendered for the use of them. The meeting was very quiet and attentive; and a Friend followed and confirmed what I had said as correct; and added, that the Society had always held them as a test of their doctrines, and expected Friends to be in the practice of frequently reading them in their families.

21st. The remaining business was attended to on the 19th, 20th, and this day. Upon the whole, the meeting was preserved in much quiet throughout its sittings; but notwithstanding we had cause to believe that Divine mercy was roundabout; still keeping us from anarchy and confusion; there was a constant painful sense of a dark spirit, secretly at work in many, that was waiting and watching to lay waste the heritage. This was like a heavy load upon the upright, sincerely devoted servants of Christ, and seemed to hinder the power of Divine life from rising into that dominion which we have sometimes known it to do.

28th. In our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held this morning, much pertinent advice and encouragement were communicated. Elders were particularly exhorted to faithfulness in the discharge of their duties towards ministers; and sympathy with such as had faithfully kept their ground against wrong things, and had heavy burdens to bear, was freely expressed.

Fifth month 1st. We have had the most solid Quarterly Meeting this day, that has been held here in the last eighteen months. Elizabeth Robson came into the men's meeting, and had very weighty and pertinent service. She mentioned the instance of David going to see his brethren, that he might know how they fared, and how the battle went; and when his motive was questioned, he asked, “Is there not a cause?” He did not go forth in Saul's armor, but chose smooth stones out of the brook; and with a simple sling smote the giant, and cut off his head with his own sword, and a great deliverance was wrought for Israel, through the faithfulness of a single individual. Notwithstanding the king's decree, Daniel failed not to offer his prayers three times a day, with his windows open, as he had been wont to do; and thus bore a public and faithful testimony of his allegiance to the true God. She said it was time for some who have too much secluded themselves, to show on whose side they are. The mouths of the lions were stopped, and an acknowledgment extorted from the king, by whose decree he had been put into the den, that Daniel's God was the living God, and able to deliver those who trust in Him. When the three children were cast into the furnace, which was heated seven times hotter than it was wont to be heated, they walked in the midst of it unhurt, because the Son of God was with them; and not even the smell of fire was perceptible on their garments. But those who cast them in were slain by the fire. This she applied, in a striking manner, to those who were endeavoring to destroy the true seed. She then appeared in very solemn supplication, much to the comfort and strength of many Friends.

Sixth month 8th. On the 26th of last month, I left home to attend New York Yearly Meeting, with a minute of the Southern District Monthly Meeting. It was throughout a trying occasion; a spirit of opposition in many to sound Friends, and to some of the principles of the Christian religion, as held by the Society from its rise, was a constant burden upon the rightly exercised members. This was increased from time to time, by opinions of a disorganizing tendency, which were avowed by some, who seemed determined to destroy all regard to doctrines and principles, as wholly unimportant; and to dissolve the bands of Society, by denying the accountability of the members, for the opinions which they held and expressed. As it might be expected, persons of little or no religious weight and feeling, manifested no restraint, in taking an undue part in the discussions of the meeting, and were very ready and importunate to have their views adopted. A solid judgment, concluded under the solemnizing presence of the Head of the church, was rarely witnessed throughout the meeting. The original ground on which the decisions of the Society heretofore stood—a prevailing conviction that the Truth led into the measure—appeared to be lost sight of by many; and a majority of voices regarded as the governing authority; without any discrimination of age, experience, soundness of judgment, or clearness of discerning.

Chapter V

1826—1833

Progress and Effects of Unsound Opinions—Death of Richard Jordan—Charge against E. Hicks forwarded by Southern District Monthly Meeting—Yearly Meeting of 1827—Separation from the Society of Friends—Incidents in some of the Meetings—Abington Quarter—Conference held at Mount Pleasant—Ohio Yearly Meeting of 1828—Visit to North Carolina—North Carolina Yearly Meeting—Visits within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Visit within New England Yearly Meeting.

1826, Eighth month 20th. The state of things among us is rapidly assuming a very dark and gloomy cast. Unless a blast is brought upon this disorganizing spirit, it would seem that great devastation will be made in the Society. Our meetings for Divine worship are, at times, almost destitute of the sensible presence of our holy Head and High Priest, which tenders and humbles the minds of Friends, and qualifies for the performance of that solemn duty. The streams of gospel ministry are nearly stopped, and the ministers are clothed with mourning, at the great change. But we are not without faith and hope, that the Lord is secretly at work, to make way for his truth and power, to rise again into dominion; when He will confound this exalted spirit, and bring some of those who are troubling Israel, down as into the valley of Jehoshaphat, where He will plead with them in a very awful manner. Great will be their confusion at that day; and many, I believe, will look back with astonishment at the delusion with which they and others have been overtaken.

Ninth month 16th. On the 13th, in company with my wife, I attended Haddonfield Select Quarterly Meeting. It was a low, distressing time. The benumbing effects of the love of the world upon very many, makes our assemblies seasons of laborious, discouraging exercise; in which apprehensions come over the mind, that we are in danger of having the candlestick removed out of its place, and becoming a forsaken people. These sensations were experienced in both meetings.

At the Meeting for Sufferings held yesterday, several minutes of new appointments by different Quarterly Meetings were received. One from the Southern Quarter stated, that a committee had been appointed to consider the revision of their representation in this Meeting; and reported, as their sense, that it would be proper to release all their representatives, excepting one. As the case was new, several Friends expressed doubts of the propriety of such a measure: frequent changes in the appointment might be followed by injurious consequences and to make it, involved a principle which the Yearly Meeting only could settle; and it was proposed to appoint a committee on the subject. A few Friends were accordingly verbally appointed to attend to it.

Eleventh month. On the 14th of last month, our beloved and honored friend, Richard Jordan, was released from the trials attendant upon this earthly scene, after a sickness of about eight weeks. Without much apparent suffering, the worn-out system gave way to the force of disease, and the spirit that longed to depart and be with Christ, his Savior and Redeemer, was permitted to take its flight to those blissful regions, “Where the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest.” He gave ample testimony, in his illness, of the firmness of his faith in Christ; through whose grace and merits, he said, he hoped for salvation. This was the faith he had lived in, and the faith he should die in.

Great quiet and solemnity prevailed at the time of his burial and after the interment, Friends convening in the meetinghouse, a very satisfactory meeting was held; in which our dear friend, Ann Jones of England, bore testimony to the faithfulness of the deceased, in discharging his duties to the righteous and the unrighteous, as one who must give account of the souls committed to his care; saying, she believed he had received the crown of an apostle. He was a very judicious, nursing father to inexperienced, devoted children; equally careful to guard them against premature fruit, as well as to hand suitable encouragement in due season, when they were ready to sink.

On the 4th of this month, was held our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, which was in the main a comfortable meeting. Our friends, G. and A. Jones, of England, and E. Robson, who had just returned from Baltimore Yearly Meeting, were with us, and had acceptable service.

On the 6th, the Quarterly Meeting was held; it was unusually large, many young men being present who showed their interest in the preservation of order, and the principles of the Society, by supporting the elder Friends in such measures as they believed it right to adopt, for the maintenance of the discipline.

The Quarterly Meeting of Bucks was held at Middletown, on the 29th and 30th of this month, which I attended, and was glad to have the opportunity for the company of our friends, George and Ann Jones. Several other Friends were there from neighboring meetings.

On sixth-day morning we took breakfast at Sarah Comfort's, whose valuable husband had lately deceased. We then proceeded to Byberry, and attended a meeting there, appointed by G. and A. Jones. The latter was there led in a way much in opposition to those who cry peace, when there is none. Death had come up into their houses; and those who had been teaching the children rebellion, would, she believed, experience the sad consequences of it in their own families. Near the close of the meeting, I spoke on the awful and responsible situation of those who were promoting a disbelief in Jesus Christ as the Savior of men; that the effects of the spirit of unbelief were to be seen and felt. All restraint would be much removed; and it was evidently the case with the young people in that part of the country. It lay as a burden upon me, which I was unwilling to bring away with me.

Twelfth month. Being one of the Committee having charge of the Boarding School at West-town, I left the city on the 9th of this month, on an appointment to visit the schools, and was absent till the 13th. At the adjournment of our Monthly Meeting of this month, my father called the attention of Friends to the disorder at a late meeting, attended by Elias Hicks, and the unsound principles advanced in it by him; and after some opposition to it, made by seven of his adherents, the meeting made a minute, stating that the disorder which occurred in this house on the 11th, and those unsound principles and sentiments therein advanced by E. Hicks, being weightily brought into view, five persons were appointed to investigate the subject and report thereon.

1827, First month 24th. The above committee produced to the Monthly Meeting a full report; in which they exhibit some of the prominent features of the disorder, and the very exceptionable doctrines delivered by E. Hicks; closing with the expression of their concern on account of the propagation of such poisonous sentiments; and also that some of his adherents may be snatched as brands from the burning. A copy of this report was directed to be forwarded to Jericho Monthly Meeting, of which E. Hicks is a member; with which women Friends concurred.

Second month 3rd. Today we have had a very exercising Select Quarterly Meeting. In the forepart, a comfortable evidence was felt, that condescending mercy and goodness were round about us; strengthening the faith of the Lord's children in his Divine power, and affording the consoling conviction, that He will defend and preserve his church, as its confidence is maintained in Him alone, and in due time will scatter his enemies, and grant a peaceful release from the trials with which it is now assailed.

On reading the answers to the second query, my father hinted at the difficulty of admitting the correctness of the reply to it from one of the Preparative Meetings, which asserted the soundness of its ministry; but of the reverse of which we had had sufficient evidence. In his remarks, he adverted to attempts now made to spread the belief that Jesus Christ our Savior was no more than a man, or one of us. A member of the meeting alluded to replied to him, as if he felt the allusion applied to himself; and in his remarks, stated there was but one Savior, and that was God; and making allusions to declarations of George Fox and William Penn, attempted to infer that those who preached “Christ crucified,” as the Savior, were they who made the Savior a mere man. He declared that Christ was sent to the Jews only; that He was an external Savior. He was no Trinitarian, nor Satisfactionist; by which it was understood he did not receive the Scripture doctrine of the Three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word and the Holy Spirit; nor believe in the propitiatory offering of the Lord Jesus, by which we have remission of sins, and perfect sanctification, through repentance and obedience to his Holy Spirit.

5th. Some opposition was made in the Quarterly Meeting for discipline, to the summary answers to the third Query; which contained expressions of belief, that pernicious publications supporting unsound doctrine, were tolerated amongst some, to the grief and concern of many Friends; but the meeting retained it, to go up to the Yearly Meeting.

The Committee appointed to visit the Monthly Meetings reported attention to the service, and that they had evidence the appointment originated in best wisdom. Several of the disaffected strove to get the committee discharged, but the meeting continued it.

One of the Green Street elders proposed that a committee should be appointed to consult with that meeting, so that they might be joined to Abington Quarter. This was one of the preliminary steps to the breaking up of our Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, and the division of the Yearly Meeting. No notice was taken of it.

10th. This afternoon I drove George and Ann Jones, with C. W. Morris, to my brother-in-law's, Joseph Rhoads. Next day, first-day, we attended Springfield Meeting, and being met there by Charles Allen, he accompanied them to Abraham Sharpless in the afternoon.

12th. My wife and myself went to Concord, and attended the Select Quarterly Meeting there; a distressing time; in which it was evident to me, that some were desirous of persuading themselves, that not as much disunity and unsoundness of principle had crept in, as some others imagined.

There is great lack of a lively zeal in some, and an honest faithful discharge of duty, against the insidious approaches of the spirit of unbelief; which is watching to ensnare the unwary, and will commit great ravages in the flock, unless the watchmen who are placed upon the walls, are awake to the surrounding dangers, and timely give the alarm.

13th. In the course of reading the queries and answers in the Meeting for Discipline, I believed it proper to call the attention of Friends to the contrast between the answers to the second and third queries—the former very full and the latter much the reverse. That while much love and unity were professed, it was plain great deficiency existed in the education of children. I adverted to the advice of the Yearly Meeting to parents, to practice their children in the frequent reading of the Holy Scriptures, and to instruct them in the doctrines of the Christian religion, which they inculcate: viz., the miraculous conception, birth, holy life, sufferings, meritorious death, glorious resurrection, ascension and mediation of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; as well as in the belief of the immediate influences of the Holy Spirit. But there were pamphlets in circulation amongst us, which tended to lay waste a belief in many of these Christian doctrines; one of which, was issued within the precincts of that Quarter; which I considered one of the most pernicious books in circulation; tending to destroy all reverence for our Lord Jesus Christ, who suffered without the gates of Jerusalem, as the Savior of men; to destroy the authenticity and authority of the Holy Scriptures; and to spread the seeds of infidelity; and I believed it my duty to bear a testimony against it.

Fourth month 14th. Our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders convened this morning; in which we had the very acceptable company of our beloved friends George and Ann Jones and E. Robson. On reading the summary reply to the second query, and the judgment of the Quarterly Meeting by which it was sent up, that an unsound ministry existed within its borders, some of the disaffected members, earnestly contended that it should be expunged; but the proposition was rejected, and the answer retained. William Jackson opened his views, and queried whether there was nothing further for the meeting to do; expressing his belief that it should go further, either by epistolary advice, or by appointing a committee to visit the constituent meetings, to afford them help. After a time of deliberation, it was concluded to appoint a committee, which was done.

16th. The morning meeting for business was passed with little interruption. E. Robson paid us a very acceptable visit. The representatives convening at the rise of the meeting, one of them proposed that John Comly should be reported for clerk; another that Samuel Bettle should be reported to be continued.

One wished a Friend might come to the table and draw up a minute reporting John Comly, which, such as united with him, might sign. This was rejected. He then proposed that such as united with him should withdraw to another part of the house, and prepare a report; which he endeavored to effect by leaving his seat and walking towards the aisle; a few rose to follow, but others protesting against it, they took their seats again.

Finding that they could not adopt any one to name to the meeting, the representatives pretty generally agreed, to authorize John Cox to inform the meeting they could not unite to report any name. We were detained until the meeting convened in the afternoon, and J. Cox made that report accordingly. Some asserted that they had not concluded on any report, and were to meet again next morning. Others had heard nothing of such adjournment; and it being evident we could not unite, it was eventually concluded to reappoint the old clerks, after much opposition by the followers of E. Hicks, J. Comly came to the table as assistant, with great reluctance; and the minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings were read, with very little remark by way of objection, to their proceedings; their care on the subject of slavery was approbated.

17th. Early after the meeting opened, John Comly rose and remarked, that he had come to the table in condescension to the request of a few Friends; that this Yearly Meeting was divided into two distinct parties, which were irreconcilable, and unity was destroyed. We had a query whether love and unity were preserved among us. He thought it was needful to have it restored, and therefore proposed that the meeting should be adjourned. The query is also asked, When differences arise are endeavors used to end them? He thought if there were men of peace amongst us, it would be well for them, in the meantime, to exert themselves in removing those differences. He could not conscientiously act as the organ of such a body; and therefore, if the meeting decided not to adjourn, he wished to be permitted to withdraw from the table. This opened the way for his party to express themselves upon the state of the Society; and some were accordingly prepared to dissolve the meeting.

Sound Friends generally kept still, with the exception of a few, who thought the proceedings need not be delayed any time for lack of J. Comly's services. When he discovered he could not effect his purpose of breaking up the meeting, he wished Friends to mind that he had not said dissolve, but adjourn; and as he had apprehended many Friends did not unite with his appointment, if it was now the general sense that he should remain at the table, he would accordingly serve: thus he waived his conscientious scruples, though no increase of unity had been obtained.

The usual concerns of the Yearly Meeting were transacted, and towards its close, information was sent in from women Friends, that they had before them a concern to appoint a committee, if united with by men Friends, to visit the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings. Opposition was started by the disaffected, as it would, in some measure, interfere with them; but when the meeting was informed of their conferences and plans to create a separation, it stopped them. Friends more fully saw the need of sending down help to strengthen the hands of sound Friends, and aid in supporting their meetings. A committee was accordingly appointed of both sexes. The Yearly Meeting adjourned to meet at the usual time next year, if consistent with the Divine will.

Fifth month 5th. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held, and attended by the Committee appointed by the late Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. In reading the replies to the Queries, some pretty close remarks were made upon that to the second, from one of the Preparative Meetings; and Friends there were encouraged to extend faithful, private labor. After finishing the Queries, E. Robson adverted to the poverty and weakness into which the Lord's children were introduced, and this was preparatory to being employed in his service; that out of weakness, they might be made strong, and that his strength might be made perfect in their weakness. She believed some would have to partake of bitter cups; and might be ready to conclude, at times, there was no way for them to get on; but as they held fast their trust in the Lord, and were courageous, the hills would flow down at his presence.

7th. We had a very quiet, satisfactory Quarterly Meeting. No report from Green Street being produced, one of their members appointed to inform the meeting of their disjunction from Philadelphia Quarter, laid a minute on the clerk's table. The committee appointed to visit the Monthly Meetings, made a detailed report of their proceedings. Some members of Green Street, addressed the Quarterly Meeting, stating their disunity with the acts of that meeting, and received the sympathy and encouragement of Friends, to abide steadfast, in a faithful adherence to the leadings of the Holy Spirit; that they may witness preservation, and advance in religious qualification to support the principles and discipline of our religious Society. The whole of the business was conducted with much unanimity and quiet; so that it was evident the abstraction of the Green Street members, of a certain description, carried with them the noise and confusion which have agitated and distressed our Quarterly Meeting.

20th. On second-day, the 14th, I attended Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, which ended comfortably.

22nd. I attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting. The minute of the Quarterly Meeting, stating it had concluded to lay down Green Street Monthly Meeting, and attach the members to this, was produced, and taken on record; and a committee appointed to deliberate upon the steps proper to be pursued in relation thereto.

23rd. A private meeting having been held in a school-house, within the Southern District, made up of some of its members and others, to devise means to obtain possession of part of the property of the Monthly Meeting, they prepared a paper on the subject; and before going into our Monthly Meeting this morning, some Friends were informed that it would be presented, and that the disaffected members had decided, that if it was rejected, to divide off to the other side of the meeting-room, and there hold a Monthly Meeting themselves. Many of our members, who had not been seen for years at our Monthly Meeting, assembled; and some from the country, and also some from other Meetings in the city; doubtless with design to swell their numbers in appearance, in case of the proposed division. After a passing on account of marriage, and reading some certificates, W. W. arose, and expressed his thankfulness whenever the meeting was covered with solemnity; and his unwillingness to do anything that would disturb it; but he believed, that in the disposition that breathed glory to God and good-will to men, we might discuss subjects, and not be excited. He had one to propose, and though it was rather new, he hoped it would not produce such effect. He then mentioned, that some of them believed it proper to propose, that a division of the property should be made; so as to enable them to build a meeting-house; purchase the site, and provide the necessary accommodations.

A paper had been prepared, which, he said, was signed by forty-five members, and approved by several others, who were not yet prepared to sign it; he would hand it to the clerk. The paper was referred to six Friends, to examine and report to a future meeting.

After this Monthly Meeting, it was ascertained that fourteen of our members had applied to Byberry Monthly Meeting, to be received as its members; which was acceded to; and that they appointed a committee of men and women to attend the opening of a meeting for worship in this city. This act of Byberry Monthly Meeting, is a violation of the discipline, and of the just right of the Southern District Monthly Meeting over its members. It is an invasion of the limits and jurisdiction of Philadelphia Quarterly Meeting, and of its Monthly Meetings, to attempt thus to institute a meeting within the borders of any of those meetings.

Sixth month 4th. This separating party held their Meeting of Conference, appointed in the Fourth month last. They issued an address to the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, within the compass of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting; the design of which is to induce a separation from it, and to prevail with the Quarterly Meetings, to send deputies to an assemblage on the third second-day of the Tenth month next. It contains several unfounded accusations against the late Yearly Meeting.

21st. At our Meeting for Sufferings, held at this time, the present state of our religious Society was brought into view by one of its members. He adverted to the meeting which the Hicksites had held, and some of the measures adopted to produce a separation from the Society, and draw its members after them. After some time of deliberation on the affecting subject, a pretty large committee was appointed upon it, and the meeting adjourned for one month; very few of the Hicksites attended.

Seventh month. At the Meeting for Sufferings, held in this month, an epistle was adopted, addressed to the members of our Yearly Meeting. The Committee on the present state of the Society was continued.

Eighth month. A part of the members of Abington Quarter, separating from Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, by appointing a number of their party to attend, as their representatives, a meeting to be held in the Tenth month, under the name of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, the sound members decided to remain together, in order to hold Abington Quarter as a branch of the Yearly Meeting of Friends; and a number of men and women Friends, as I understood, accordingly stopped, but as it was late, they adjourned to the succeeding morning. When Friends met at the house, they found the doors secured, and a collection of persons on the ground, determined they should not enter the house. Some of the elderly and infirm women were furnished with cushions to sit on the ground, while the rest stood, and remained about an hour. Ann Jones knelt on the ground, in supplication, supporting herself by a tree. Finding there was no probability of gaining entrance to the house, they drew up a statement of the circumstance; to be recorded on the minutes, and adjourned, to meet at once, in Charles Shoemaker's mill. About one hundred men and one hundred and seventy-five women Friends convened in the mill. They appointed clerks for the day, made a detailed record of the disorderly proceedings of the Separatists, at Abington Quarterly Meeting; and appointed various committees to carry into effect concerns which engaged their attention. It was said to be a very affecting and tendering opportunity, much to the comfort and strength of Friends.

In the Tenth month, the Separatists held what they termed Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, at the Green Street house; and concluded to hold it next year, on the second second-day in the Fourth month; which would be in the week preceding the Yearly Meeting of Friends. Before our Yearly Meeting commenced, the Meeting for Sufferings believed it right to prepare a statement of the separation; the gradual progress of the Separatists, in some of our meetings, to obtain the ascendency; and the unsound doctrines preached and printed by some of them; which latter were contrasted with the doctrines of Friends on these points. This was united with, to be laid before our Yearly Meeting of 1828, for its judgment; and if approved, to be signed by the clerk on its behalf. When read in the Yearly Meeting, our aged friend, William Jackson, expressed his thankfulness that there were those raised up and qualified to prepare such a document; and it received the unity of the meeting, and was afterwards printed and largely distributed among Friends.

The Yearly Meeting of Ohio, held in the autumn of 1827, having made a proposition to the other Yearly Meetings in this country, to appoint delegates, in order to hold a Conference on the state of our religious Society, our Yearly Meeting, held this spring, appointed a number of Friends to represent it in that body. I went in a carriage with our friends Thomas Stewardson and Samuel Bettle, and my father, to Mt. Pleasant, Ohio, to attend this Conference; where we put up at the house of our beloved friend, Jonathan Taylor. Representatives from all the other Yearly Meetings, except New York, were also in attendance; and in the course of the week, a Conference was held; but all the Yearly Meetings not being represented, nothing definite was concluded upon. Opportunity was, however, given for an interchange of sentiments, and to judge of each other's views in relation to such a convention, and what might be its probable influence on the Society.

The first sitting of the Ohio Yearly Meeting of 1828, was a very disturbed one. Friends adjourned to assemble next morning, at the usual hour. The Separatists met earlier, and took possession of the house, keeping Friends in the yard, where they held a meeting, standing. After a suitable time, they adjourned to the old house at Short Creek, rather less than half a mile distant. The weather being warm, the sash were taken out of some of the windows, and temporary seats were placed at each end, to accommodate the men and women who could not get into the house. The meeting was prolonged into the next week; a time being fixed for the Conference to meet in Philadelphia, next year. As soon as we could leave, our company took carriage and returned to our homes.

In 1829, representatives of all the Yearly Meetings of Friends in America, convened in Philadelphia, and drew up a document, on the doctrines and testimonies of Friends; which they denominated, “The Testimony of Friends in America.” In the year 1830, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting declined repeating the appointment of delegates. Time has clearly showed that this decision was a right one.

In the year 1829, and in the First month of 1830, I obtained minutes from the Monthly Meeting, and paid religious visits to the meetings of Haddonfield, Concord and the Western Quarters which I accomplished to my own satisfaction.

On the 27th of Tenth month 1830, I obtained a certificate to attend North Carolina Yearly Meeting, and a few meetings belonging to it, having Henry Cope as companion. We proceeded to Baltimore, and on sixth-day morning took steamboat for Norfolk, where we arrived early on seventh-day. The blacks about the town, who, we were told, were mostly slaves, appeared cheerful. There was, however, a schooner lying in the stream, crowded with those poor creatures, intended for the New Orleans market, to which they are exported from Virginia as an article of trade. It was an affecting spectacle, which would have aroused the commiseration of John Woolman and Anthony Benezet to a great degree. Such is their degraded state of mind, having been brought up as though they were brutes, and treated as if they had no souls, that at the distance we passed them, they appeared indifferent to what awaited them.

We took the steamboat, going up the James river, and after landing, rode to Petersburg, where we were detained until next day, much to our disappointment. We then had difficulty in procuring our passage in the stage, because of many persons going to a horse race; whose company was unpleasant, especially, during the time we rode with them in the night. We were all the next day reaching Greensburg, and next morning got to a Friend's house at New Garden. As he had no carriage to convey us to Deep river, he sent a boy to pilot us, and we walked to the meeting-house, about seven miles; where we attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders, and their first-day meeting, which was large. We lodged at Abel Coffin's, who conveyed us on second-day to New Garden, where the Yearly Meeting was held. Our lodging was about a mile from the meeting-house; the Friends were kind and hospitable, and we had the agreeable company of Nathan Hunt, Jonathan Taylor from Ohio, and sometimes of Asenath Clark and her husband; Isaac Hammer was also a short time with us.

The young people in attendance at this Yearly Meeting were very generally plain, and becoming in their deportment; and as far as I could judge, not a few of the young men possessed religious attainments, and are concerned for the promotion of the good cause, and the proper support of our testimonies and discipline. The meeting sat daily about four hours; and every morning, except second-day, either the Meeting for Sufferings, or that of Ministers and Elders, convened at nine o'clock; which kept us pretty steadily in the meeting-house.

Third-day was set apart for investigating the state of the subordinate meetings. They had read all the reports, including the answers to the Queries, read on second-day; and the clerks having prepared a summary, the partition shutters, between the men and women, were opened; so that both might hear each other's answers, and the observations made by men and women Friends on different subjects; and upon the whole it was a satisfactory time. They agreed to address an epistle to the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, to incite the members to more faithfulness.

The state of education within their limits being brought to view, we took the liberty of proposing, that the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings should be instructed to send up, next year, explicit accounts of the number and description of schools within their respective districts; which was adopted and appended to the epistle. They were desired to state whether the teachers are members, and what proportion of the scholars are the children of Friends. We also endeavored to press the importance of home education; the necessity of parents feeling and manifesting a religious interest in the improvement and preservation of their children, by taking frequent opportunities with them, in reading the Holy Scriptures and other religious works. Some notice of this branch of the concern was placed in the epistle; advising retirement and silent waiting upon the Lord in their families. They were also urged to cultivate their minds by reading other useful books of a historical, descriptive, or scientific character.

The Yearly Meeting closed on fifth-day after a long sitting.

Next day we were conveyed to J. Stanley's, and attended the Select Western Quarterly Meeting, there. The Quarterly Meeting next day, was a larger company of Friends than we expected to see. I felt peaceful in the part I had in it; and in the second meeting, we encouraged the young men and others to faithfulness in their respective duties, so that they might become prepared to maintain the discipline and our testimonies.

Next day we parted from our beloved friend Jonathan Taylor, with whom we had sojourned several days very agreeably; and on first-day were at Springfield Meeting, where we lodged at N. Hunt's. From there to Kennet, Hopewell and New Garden.

After finishing what rested on my mind, we took stage at Greensburg, through the upper route to Fredericksburg, Washington, Baltimore, etc, and reached our homes safely and with peace.

[From this time until Ninth month 1835, no memoranda appear to have been preserved. In Seventh month 1831, W. Evans obtained a minute from his Monthly Meeting, to visit the meetings belonging to Abington, Bucks, Burlington, and Shrewsbury and Eahway Quarterly Meetings; all within the limits of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting. In Seventh month 1833, certificates were granted him to visit, as way might open, the meetings of Friends within the limits of New England Yearly Meeting, more particularly those constituting the Northern and Eastern Quarters. In this journey he had Joseph Snowdon as companion. From letters written to his family during his absence, the following extracts have been made:]

Eighth month 21st, 1833. “Beached the house of our friend Estes Newhall, at Lynn. Attended the meeting here. Went to Salem next morning; the meeting small. A qualification was furnished to open a little the spirituality of the Gospel dispensation; and to invite to an investigation how far we, who are making a high profession of it, are living under it, and experiencing its redeeming and sanctifying efficacy. The opportunity was serious, and satisfactory to myself.

28th. “I wrote you from Berwick, just before we went to their meeting; which we attended in peaceful silence. At Oakwood, in the afternoon, a company assembled in a private house.

To me it was the most suffering time I almost ever passed through; the way opened to express a little, towards the time for separating. Next morning we rode to Elliott, a very small meeting. Here the spring of the Gospel was a little opened.

On parting with the Friends where we dined, the importance of the right education of their children, and the necessity of being good examples ourselves, was attempted to be impressed on their minds. From this place we went to a Friend's near Rochester meeting-house. This meeting was little larger than Elliott. Some qualification was felt to labor with them, in order to draw them to the Spirit of Christ in their own hearts; to learn of Him, and to take his yoke upon them; by which they might realize the substance of the religion they professed. It is not every one who is to be helped by us; if there be one here and another there, who are quickened a little in the journey towards the good land, we must be satisfied, and leave the work to the Master.

30th. “Reached Wolfsborough, and found the letter requesting the appointment of a meeting for us on seventh-day had not been received. Some exertion was made to spread notice, but the company was small; the number of families composing the meeting being few, and not many of other professions. I passed the meeting in silence. At Sandwich we heard of our silent meeting at Berwick; a person told there were six preachers at it, and he thought it was the stillest meeting he had attended for some time; nothing being said by any of them. I felt quite satisfied with the part I had in the meeting; believing there is as much necessity of holding up the testimony of Friends to silent waiting, as to preach the Gospel when called to it. Wolfsborough lies at the south side of a lake, which is twenty-three miles long, and in the widest part, eight miles broad. The scenery in various parts of the ride to Sandwich, and round that country, is beautiful. The prospect from many hills taking in a circuit of twenty-five or thirty miles distance from the eye.

Ninth month 6th. “At Raymond, a small meeting about sixteen miles from Windham; notice having been given at the Quarterly Meeting for this and other meetings.

“The scenery at Raymond is uncommonly grand. On the east side of the road, running north and south, rises a range of hills, from the top of which we have a very extensive prospect. At our feet, on the west side of the road, runs a great valley; to the southwest, Lake Sebago, several miles long; and to the south and east, an open, hilly country, interspersed with large pools of water; and beyond the valley, we see ranges of lofty mountains extending from southwest nearly round to the north; the highest of which are the White Mountains of New Hampshire in the northwest from where we stood; Mount Washington, the highest peak, was distinctly in view.

7th. Went to Falmouth, where we were favored with a solemn, quiet meeting, in which I thought the importance of silent waiting was never more clearly and forcibly impressed on me. It seemed proper to encourage Friends to faithful perseverance in their silent approaches to the throne of Grace; patiently waiting for the presence of Him, in whom was their delight, that they might be strengthened to hold up a testimony to spiritual worship. The next meeting being North Windham, we went back to N. P.'s, and on first-day morning attended it; the house below stairs being pretty much filled, principally by those not of our Society. Such meetings are often a close trial upon one's courage. We often sit long before we can feel much solemnity. I endeavored to deliver what arose in my mind, but the stream had not such free course as is desirable.

In the afternoon we went to Gorham, and notice having been spread for several days, the house, containing nearly two hundred persons, was almost filled, with the exception of a small number, by persons of other professions. My mind was pretty calm, though not without some fears about the result. The people sat with the most becoming quiet, and after a season of inward, reverent waiting, I rose with the expressions of the Apostle, 'We are the circumcision, which worship God in the Spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.' The necessity of experiencing our religious performances to proceed from the influences of the Holy Spirit; and the blessing which flows from a life of true dedication to its government, were opened; with many views appertaining to the Christian warfare; encouraging those who had entered the straight gate, to maintain close watchfulness, lest by the stratagems of an unwearied enemy, they might be again drawn aside. I have seldom been more helped on any occasion. It was cause of gratitude to our holy Helper and Caretaker, who knows how to deal with us, to be thus furnished with evidence, in the time of need, that He has not forgotten to be gracious; and I desire to be preserved under a humble sense of my own nothingness, and that all good must be derived from Him.

Ninth month 11th. Attended Yassalborough Quarterly Meeting. The Select Meeting was much larger than at Windham; the men's side more numerous than our own Quarterly Meeting. It was an agreeable one to me; the language of consolation being much more congenial to my feelings, than that of reproof, though indirectly conveyed; and which was offered in the endearing expression of our Lord: ‘As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; continue you in my love;’ which can only be expected by faithfully doing or suffering his will. The meeting for discipline was rather painful. The way appeared to open, after we came upon the Queries, to make some remarks upon the solemnity of the purpose for which our religious meetings were held; that they could only be profitable as the power and authority of Truth presided in them; which was only to be expected, as every one kept to the gift of Divine grace in his own heart, waiting on that, so as to be preserved in his proper place in the body. For the first time, I was impressed with a belief it was right to propose going into the women's meeting; a similar concern resting on my mind respecting them. After enquiry was made of them, and men Friends uniting with it, J. W. was named to accompany me.”

[W. E. and companion then attended meetings at St. Albans, Albion and China.] Ninth month 18th. “Attended Yassalborough Monthly Meeting. We were brought into tender feeling with some, to whom the bread of adversity and the water of affliction had been dispensed; and they were reminded of the reverses which Job experienced; reduced as he was from the highest standing among men, though a perfect and upright man, to sit in ashes; and yet, in all this, he did not let go his integrity; but when advised by his companion, to curse God and die, he reproved her, as speaking foolishly, and said, 'Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?' That these very afflictions would contribute to prepare us for vessels in the Lord's house, where there were those of honor and dishonor.

I thought some in keeping their places, might not be esteemed by the uncircumcised in heart and ear, as honorable as some others; yet it was highly important they should keep their places, discharging their duty faithfully in the sight of the Lord.

Ninth month 30th. We are progressing daily in the accomplishment of the work for which we left our homes; and have good reason to believe, that the Shepherd of the sheep has been with us, uniting us more closely to Him, and in near fellowship with those who love Him in sincerity. Friends are very kind and affectionate to us, willingly conducting us from meeting to meeting, and manifesting a readiness to attend; also people of other professions, when they hear of them, freely come; though our invitations are simply to Friends, and such as usually frequent their meetings.

Tenth month 3rd, 1833. “Yours of the 24th, we found at S. F. H.'s, on our arrival yesterday, giving the affecting intelligence of the increasing disease and suffering of our daughter R. [A child of eight years, who was suffering with disease of the hip, which terminated her life, in the Eleventh month of 1836.] Were it proper for me to return homeward, I should be glad to aid in making her as comfortable as her situation would admit; and if it should be your judgment, that it would be best to do so, we would give up the remaining parts of the proposed visit. It was very pleasant to find by your letter that the Good Hand is round about, sustaining your mind in the accumulated cares of the family, and the trial produced by the very affecting situation of a beloved child; and I trust as we all endeavor to keep our places, that support will not be withdrawn, but will be experienced, adequate to the labors of the day, and the anxiety and sympathy which must attend our present circumstances.”

After leaving Yassalborough, We crossed the Kennebec river, and were at a meeting appointed for us at Sidney; it was rather a heavy, laborious time. Then rode to Belgrade, piloted by P. P. and wife. He is the Nantucket whale-man, who caught the whale which his men had struck thirteen years before, and had left a part of the harpoon remaining; with which it then escaped, and which they found on cutting it up. The harpoon was stamped with P. P.'s initials.

Belgrade Meeting was held in a private dwelling, and though not large, was a solemn opportunity.

Attended Winthrop Meeting, which was a mournful time; under a persuasion that the standard-bearers had lost ground, through the love of other things than the blessed Truth. In the afternoon, held a meeting at Litchfield, which was large; and a favored time it proved, the spring of the ministry being, as I believed, freely opened, and the people conducting in a solid manner.

Attended Pownall Meeting, where, as on one or two other occasions, we had to deal with some Universalists; whose principles are as dangerous as any other infidel doctrine, and which they are seeking to spread. Rode down to Portland and lodged.

Today (Tenth month 3rd,) attended their meeting in silence.

[After attending meetings at Cape Elizabeth and Berwick, W. E. and companion proceeded to Meadersborough, where they were detained a few days by the indisposition of the former. Here, he writes to his wife:] “Home came up frequently, with the sufferings our daughter is enduring, and the labor and care which devolve upon you; but it did not seem as if our work was finished, however unimportant it may be in the great scale of affairs.”

Tenth month 11th. “An appointed meeting at North Weare. In the afternoon, rode over to Henniker, accompanied by T. D., in his eighty-first year. We found his residence a model of simplicity; everything very plain, but very nice and clean.

Their manner of living is of corresponding character. They consume, either in clothing or food, but little they do not make or raise; and, sitting at their table, everything seemed to partake of such purity, that it reminded me of patriarchal times.

T. D. was enlisted for three years in the revolutionary war; was at Cambridge during the battle of Banker's Hill; but was not in any engagement, though he was anxious to kill many of his opponents. When his eyes were opened to see the anti-christianity of war, he found he had been under a delusion; and was thankful he had never been permitted to destroy a fellow-creature. He has been among Friends about forty years.

We attended the first-day meeting at Unity; the morning wet and cloudy, which probably occasioned it to be small; but we had cause for gratitude to our Lord and Master, for the extension of his goodness; affording renewed help to advocate his cause, after a time of long watching and waiting for his Divine presence and quickening power. On second-day afternoon, attended the meeting at Henniker. A lack of religious exercise, too often evident in our meetings, produced sorrowful feelings; and the fear that, as in other places, there was a deficiency in the right qualification to maintain our testimony to spiritual worship. The way, however, opened to show the effect of true religion, in leading into a deep inward travail of spirit, for the salvation of our immortal souls; and that as this was our situation, when we came together in our meetings, a united, harmonious labor would be experienced, for the prevalence of the Divine life amongst us.

I hope your next will give the desirable intelligence, that the acute sufferings of our afflicted child are mitigated; and that your anxious labors and watchings are lessened; it would cheer me much, and encourage to try to finish what little work I might have to do. But we cannot change things when we may please; and to be favored with fortitude and proper resignation to bear our lot, will promote our comfort and best interests.

How many are enduring afflictive bereavements or painful suffering; and while we are in the body, I anticipate little else than trial, mortification or affliction of some kind. If it work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, this will outbalance every possible tribulation we can here endure.

It is, however, not necessary to be constantly dwelling on the gloomy pictures of life; let us gird up our loins and try to keep our lamps burning, so as to be ready to open to our Lord at his coming; and all those servants whom He finds thus watching, He will command to sit down to meat, and come forth and serve them himself. And thus we shall as we pass along, realize the blessedness of the religion we profess, to sustain in the hoar of trial, comfort and cheer with Divine consolation from time to time, and furnish in the end with a blessed hope of everlasting rest and peace; where all sorrow ceases, and God shall wipe away all tears from every eye.

Tenth month 16th. “Attended their Select Meeting at South Weare. Towards the close, the way opened to call the attention of Friends to the foundation of our religious meetings; that being wearied with the lifeless performances of the day, which were no better than husks to them, our early Friends sat down in silence to wait upon the Lord; not daring to engage in vocal communications, without the putting forth of the Shepherd of the sheep; that it was indispensable we should keep to the same ground, if the ministry is preserved a living ministry, proceeding from the spring of Divine life, which would water the flock, etc. Next day attended the Quarterly Meeting.

We have hardly sat a more laborious meeting of that kind. I said nothing before the shutters were closed. After the meeting for business was ready for closing, it seemed proper to make some allusion to the difficulty with which our chariot wheels had dragged that day; and to urge it as an incitement to more zealous, individual concern; to apply for wisdom and strength for managing the affairs of the church; which, no more than Divine worship, could be rightly performed, but by the aid of the Holy Spirit; the influence of which was to be lived under daily; as we could not expect it when we came together, if at other times we were so absorbed with the world as scarcely to remember our religious duty, until such occasions recalled it. Our discipline is an excellent institution; but not like a machine that could be set in operation by the ingenuity of man; the same wisdom that instituted it was to be waited and sought for, in the various duties to be performed by the different members. I felt for the young people, lest they might be discouraged by such seasons; but exhorted them to come to Christ in their own hearts, that they might be taught and prepared by Him for his service in the church; and be preserved from having all their faculties absorbed by the world; be enabled to keep their duties in their proper places; having their hearts lifted up to Him in the heavens, while their hands were necessarily engaged in their lawful occupations; and thus He would qualify them to stand in those stations He would allot them in his church.

Sixth-day morning set out for Concord, and there held a meeting with the few who assemble in that place; several Friends, on their way home, also attending. It was a good meeting; the language of sympathy and encouragement towards the few who lived there, was held out; to keep their eye over all discouraging prospects, to their divine Master, who would sustain in times of conflict; and make a way for them to escape every trial and temptation with which they were beset, as they relied on Him. The spirit of infidelity came very unexpectedly into view; and a warning was given of the awful consequence which must result from it, unless repentance and forgiveness were timely experienced. The meeting closed with supplication for our preservation and support through the conflicts we may have to endure.

21st. “Held a meeting at Gilmanton, which, in the forepart, was very exercising, from the belief, that the desire for words was too prevalent here, as in some other places. After long sitting, it seemed proper to say, I hoped the time would not come, when we should either be ashamed or incapable of holding our religious meetings in solemn silence, whenever it was the will of the great Head of the church that they should be so held. After adverting to the circumstance of our first Friends being withdrawn from a lifeless ministry, and the ceremonies of that time, to sit down under the teachings of Christ; the nature of Divine worship, as set forth by Him, in the interview with the woman at Jacob's well, was a little opened; and the necessity of experiencing the efficacy in ourselves, of the religion we were making profession of, was enforced; which I have found it much my place to do, wherever we have been.

We are getting very outward, full of doctrinal knowledge; but where are the fruits of our principles? Tenth month 23rd and 24th. Attended the Quarterly Meeting at Dover, which was large. Through the mercy and kindness of the Shepherd of the flock, we were favored with a solemn meeting; the way opening to take leave of them and the extensive tract we have travelled over, with relieved and peaceful minds.

Went to Seabrook on seventh-day afternoon. This meeting was once large; and many of the members eminent among Friends. Comfort Collins, who lived to the age of one hundred and five years, belonged to it. We attended the meeting, now reduced to three or four plain men, and eight or ten women.

“In the afternoon rode down to Amesbury; and, to our surprise, found we were to hold a meeting in a manufacturing town. We had been told it was a very small meeting; and, supposing it to be a country place, consented to the proposal to have it in the afternoon. When we went to the house, we found it filling up with all descriptions of people, nothing like Friends; scarcely any present who knew much about the proper exercise for such occasions. I saw no other way than to cast ourselves upon Him who only can enable us to meet difficulties, with the hope the cause might not be permitted to suffer; there was some ability furnished to preach the gospel of salvation to them. The company sat very still and attentive.

[After attending several meetings in the eastern and southeastern parts of Massachusetts, and on Nantucket, W. E. writes, under date of Eleventh month 14th:] This afternoon returned to New Bedford, and found a letter from brother T., which gives a much more unfavorable view of our dear daughter's case; and I think I shall be easy, after being at two meetings, appointed for sixth and seventh-days, and at New Bedford on first-day, to set off for Newport on second-day morning; take the steamboat there for New York, [and from there to Philadelphia.] “I have felt incapable of taking satisfaction in anything, since I received the affecting intelligence of our beloved child's situation; excepting in the evidence, I think I have had, from place to place, that the blaster was with us; this has made me hope that our child would at least be continued until I was favored to reach our residence in peace. It would be a close trial to me, indeed, not to be permitted to see her face again; but I cannot be persuaded yet, to think I shall not be with you some time before the final event; if it be not consistent with the Divine Will to restore her. No one knows the feelings I pass through daily at being detained from you; it seems as if I could not stay; and yet I have not been able to see that the time had come to take my departure, until this afternoon. In looking back at the original prospect, it appears to be pretty much accomplished; excepting four meetings in this Quarterly Meeting, and four or five in Rhode Island Quarter, which I had intended to visit.”

[William Evan's minute, with endorsements, was returned to his Monthly Meeting, Eleventh month 27th, 1833.

1834, Ninth month 24th. A certificate was granted him to attend the next Yearly Meeting of Friends, to be held in Baltimore. This was returned, Eleventh month 26th, of the same year.]

Chapter VI

1835

Religious visit to Friends in the Eastern parts of New York, and in Vermont.

I having obtained a certificate from the Monthly and the Quarterly Meeting, of their unity with a concern I had felt for several months, to visit the meetings of Friends in the eastern side of New York Yearly Meeting, I set out on the journey on the 18th of the Ninth month, 1835; having for companion my beloved friend Joseph Snowden, who had a minute for the purpose.

Leaving a beloved wife and family of children, naturally awakened peculiar feelings, on account of the increased weight of the charge of all the domestic concerns devolving upon one head, and the reflection, that while we travel abroad to promote the welfare of others, temptation surrounds our own children; by which they may be led into things unbecoming our profession; and thereby, if yielded to, bring reproach upon the blessed cause which we espouse. But after receiving the unity of Friends, there appeared to be no other right course but to commit them all to the protection and care of the Shepherd of Israel; trusting that when He does lead forth into service, if we endeavor to discharge our duty to them faithfully, while at home, He will be round about, and guard them from evil and from danger.

We reached the residence of that worthy mother in Israel, Ruth Ely, near New Hope, that evening, where we were very kindly and agreeably entertained. The company of those who feel a deep interest in our religions Society, and are capable of estimating its usefulness, and its weaknesses, is very interesting, and deservedly valued. On the following day we rode to N. Y.'s, at Plainfield, and attended their meeting on first-day; which was rather dull and heavy, too few being willing to enter into labor for themselves. The spirit of speculating in property having prevailed in and near some of our large cities, seemed to have had its influence here; conversation frequently running upon the sale and increased value of land. Although the first-day of the week is set apart for religious retirement and meditation, yet making money would come up, and show that it was a prime and absorbing subject. Its effect is sorrowful upon old and young; leading one into the fashions and vanities of the world, and producing spiritual dryness and even death in the other. We took tea at J. S.'s, and being alone, had a little sitting with them in which the language of sympathy and encouragement was freely offered; his wife being a minister, and appearing to need strength and courage to occupy her gift faithfully.

N. Y. kindly piloted us to Newark, where we fed our horses and made enquiries after the best route to Blooming-grove, and proceeded; putting up that night at a tavern, being forty-one miles from Plainfield. Third-day morning, 22nd, set out and rode through a mountainous country, passing several iron works and factories; the road was very good. After dining, eighteen miles on, we obtained directions, and went nine miles further to D. B.'s, at Blooming-grove. He is an elderly Friend, who, with his family, joined the Society; they live very comfortably in a plain manner, and entertain their friends well, and with a good will.

Notice was spread for a meeting with Friends, and those who usually attend, to be at the eleventh hour, fourth-day morning. The company was small, considerable part of the members having gone off with E. Hicks. The importance of silent, patient waiting for the arising of the life of Truth, to qualify for every act in Divine worship, was much impressed on my mind; but there seemed little qualification to say anything.

Some became restless, and a Friend, who, I was afraid, caught that feeling, rose and urged the people not to look to man, whose breath was in his nostrils, but to Him alone, who could give the bread of life. The advice was good, if it proceeded from right authority, but it rather distressed me. He took his seat, and after sitting a few minutes rose again, and enlarged in the same strain. I then thought we should soon close the meeting without any thing further; but in looking towards that, I was fearful of omitting to disclose the exercise which had attended my mind, respecting the importance of practicing silent, patient waiting upon Christ, for the renewal of our strength, and ability to do his will, whatever it might be. In this humble engagement, we should find that without Him we can do nothing; and however active man may be in things very proper to be done, when He commands, yet without this renewed unction, all will amount to nothing. The nature of true, spiritual religion; the cleansing operation of Him who now sits as a refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap; and the participation of the supper of the Lord, by opening our hearts to Him, was a little dwelt upon. Some Methodists were there, and some of us, may have needed such views to be held up.

In the afternoon we rode to Canterbury, near the North River, and put up at N. A.'s. He and his brother, sons of S. A., are largely in the brick-making business. They employ simple but ingenious machinery in working up and mixing the clay and sand, and a small proportion of fine anthracite coal to form the brick; and another contrivance by which the prepared composition is pressed into the moulds; turning out four bricks every compression. Two of these machines, with the aid of six men and six boys, make about 19,000 bricks per day, after the clay is prepared by others. On fifth-day the 24th, we attended the Monthly Meeting here, called Cornwall, of which that effectual minister of the Gospel, David Sands, was formerly a member.

We passed his residence in going to the meeting-house; it has an air of ancient simplicity and comfort; being a long one-story building, with a high roof, admitting of lodging in the attic story. His ancient widow, about ninety, walked to the meeting, over quarter of a mile. It was a small company of Friends for a Monthly Meeting; constituted of Blooming-grove, and Cornwall Preparative Meetings. The need of steadfastly abiding upon the watch, in order to escape the captivating snares of the enemy, was held up to view, in the injunction of our Lord, “What I say unto you, I say unto all, watch!” “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation;” for though the spirit may often be ready, the flesh is weak. It appeared to me that the lawful things of this world were to be watched against; though all things might be lawful, they were not all expedient; and the Apostle declared he would not be brought under the power of any. Some appeared to be in danger of being so absorbed in worldly pursuits, as to live in almost total forgetfulness of the Giver of every outward blessing we enjoy, and consequent neglect of the soul's salvation.

These were invited to return to the watch-tower, and take heed to the voice of the true Shepherd; that they might be again brought out of bondage into the liberty of the children of God. It was a pretty open time. The widow Sands expressed her belief that the Lord had not left Himself without witnesses to the Truth, and desired that each might take that which applied to them. Their business was passed through with but little expression, though five Queries were answered. I thought it proper to urge the right and due support of the discipline, in the spirit and wisdom by which it was instituted; as the health of the Society would be materially influenced by it. The sentiments were accorded with by two Friends.

At Newberry Valley, fourteen miles further, we had an appointed meeting on the following afternoon, at two o'clock. It collected very irregularly, which kept up a state of unsettlement for a long time. Feelings of poverty and desertion, and a fear whether it would be held to profit, crowded into my mind; but after a time of inward waiting, and looking to the Master for his direction, it seemed right to stand up with the expression, “None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him;” neither could we become partakers of that redemption which comes by Jesus Christ, unless we were individually concerned to enter into labor in our own hearts, under the aid and direction of his Holy Spirit; that sanctification may be effected in us. It was a solemn opportunity; in which the necessity of working out the salvation of the soul with fear and trembling, and the certainty that everlasting separation from the redeemed, will be the portion of the rebellious who die unforgiven, were feelingly expressed. We lodged at the house of a Friend, and in the morning, had a short sitting with the family: in which the heads were encouraged to occupy faithfully the gifts bestowed on them, whatever they might be, not trusting in their own strength. It seemed to me, that the wife was called to more open acknowledgment of the side she ought to take; perhaps, in publicly espousing the cause of Truth.

A meeting being appointed for us at Marlborough, we rode over to it, seven miles. The company was small; and though in the forepart of the time, several passages of Scripture instructively presented, and seemed as if they were very suitable for communication, the feeling gradually subsided, and no intimation to offer them being distinctly felt, we closed the sitting in silence. The subjects were the necessity of the fruit-bearing branches being purged; and, also that of stillness, before the Searcher of hearts, that we may know Him, and his manner of dealing with us, and thereby renew our strength. I think I was willing to speak or be silent, as the Master should order, and afterwards hoped these openings might tend to my own benefit.

Rode to Jacob Heaton's in the afternoon, and attended Plattekill Meeting on first-day. Notice having been spread through the neighborhood, the house was pretty well filled by Friends and others. The distinction between John's baptism and that of Christ, the former being with water, and the latter with the Spirit, each designating the nature of the dispensation to which it appertained, was held up to view. One decreasing must come to an end, and the other increasing must overspread all; and as the Apostle declares, that to us there is but “one Lord, one faith and one baptism; one God and Father of all who is above all, through all and in you all;” this baptism must be that of Christ, which is with the Holy Ghost and fire: it is therefore essential, that the professors of his name should deeply and frequently examine whether they are submitting to it, and thereby witnessing the chaff and every defilement purely purged away; so as to make fit temples for the Holy One to dwell in. The work of regeneration, and the effects of it upon our lives, and conduct, and conversation, were pretty fully treated on. The meeting was quiet, and ended with a covering of solemnity.

After dinner, a few Friends coming in, we had a precious parting opportunity; in which some, who I believed, had been of latter time brought under feelings of increased seriousness, were affectionately called upon to yield to those precious visitations, and resort to nothing to divert their attention from Him, who has thus been drawing near, to enlist them under his government. We left these dear Friends with feelings of tender affection, and desire for their growth in the Truth; and rode to W. M.'s, at Paltz. His house is placed on the side of a mountain, and amongst a description of people not very suitable society for a young family. The meeting was small, and a very trying one to my feelings; so little heartfelt concern for their own spiritual welfare being apparent. I endeavored to discharge my duty, in exhorting them to more zeal and diligence; but we left them with little hope that Truth would soon prosper there. When we see the young children of the principal Friend, fashionably dressed, we cannot expect that the life of religion will be sought after and cherished. I spoke to him upon the subject; which he appeared to take kindly, and acknowledged he had yielded to it contrary to his judgment, and thought in future he should be more firm.

Attended an appointed meeting at three o'clock, at the Plains; which was also a low time, though accompanied by rather more lively feelings than in the morning. We lodged at a Friend's house; and in the morning had an opportunity with him and his daughters, who had lost their mother about a year since, and one of them her husband; in which sympathy was felt with them in their bereavements, and the young women affectionately counseled to follow their mother, as she had followed Christ. Then set out for Dutchess County; crossed the North River at Poughkeepsie, and went to the Creek, to the residence of our kind friends, Smith and Sarah Upton; who received and entertained us with much cordiality.

The next day, being the last of the Ninth month, we attended their usual mid-week meeting. It was much reduced by the absence of several members, summoned to court at Poughkeepsie. Some of the little company, according to my feelings, were partaking of poverty of spirit, and under suffering of a close nature. We sat long in silence, when it seemed proper to address them with the language of Christ: “Blessed be you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.” I hoped that the Master was present with us, to comfort them that mourned; and that in his time, He would give to such, “beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning; and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” We passed the remainder of the day at S. Upton's, with his wife; Smith being at Poughkeepsie. It seemed like being with people who understood our language; and with whom we could hold converse with freedom.

Tenth month 1st. Accompanied by our beloved friend, we went to the regular meeting at Stanford, to which that worthy man, and dignified minister of Christ, Henry Hull, belonged, during his lifetime. A qualification was here afforded, to preach the gospel of life and salvation, through Jesus Christ our Lord, to some who had wandered from the footsteps of the flock, into a far country, where they were perishing with hunger; and destitute of all hope of any solid comfort or peace. They were pressingly invited to receive the everlasting Shepherd, in his offers of help to restore them to the Father's house and flock.

It was a season of favor; and we had reason to believe that the states of some were closely spoken to. Returned in the evening to S. Upton's; and on sixth-day morning, he piloted us to little Nine Partners; a very small company; but it was rather a comfortable opportunity: dined at the house of an aged Friend, who is a great landholder and very extensive farmer, having large flocks of sheep, and many fat cattle. Before we left his house, I was most easy to spend a little time in silent waiting with him and his daughter; and the necessity of preparing for the midnight cry, presenting forcibly, I endeavored, in a way becoming my youth and his age, to impress the importance of being broken off from his worldly pursuits; and experiencing his affections set on things which are above. As we brought nothing into this world, certain it is, we can carry nothing out and neither corn, the finest wheat, the largest flocks, nor the richest land, can procure for us the oil of the kingdom, with which our lamps should be replenished. It appeared to have a tendering effect; and the old man parted with us affectionately.

We then rode about six miles to North-east. Notice having been spread, we had a meeting with Friends and others of the neighborhood, on seventh-day. As is often the case, some were restless, in the forepart of the time; being accustomed to hear preaching at their own places of worship; but the parable of the sower, and the different soils into which the seed was cast, presented; and after waiting for the putting forth of the good hand, it was opened to them; and with instruction to myself also. We had cause for renewed thankfulness to our blessed Master for his aid, and the solemnizing influence of his presence. After dining, we sat with the family of the kind Friend, at whose house we stayed, and the tendering invitations of Divine love were renewed to some of his children—whose appearance was not sufficiently conformed to the simplicity of the Truth—to take up the cross and openly confess their dear Lord, in plainness of dress and address, and in the fruits of a meek and quiet spirit. It seemed to me that Grace had been at work, in bringing some of them under more serious thoughtfulness, than at previous periods.

We then returned with S. Upton to his hospitable mansion—twelve miles. On first-day we attended their meeting; where we had also the company of a number not belonging with Friends. Here it appeared proper to hold forth the doctrine, that true religion is an inward, silent, progressive work; its beginning is small, being compared to a grain of mustard-seed, the least of all seeds; but as it is suffered to take root in the heart, will eradicate all other plants that produce fruit contrary to the Divine nature, and eventually overspread all. The incorruptible seed and Word of God is called by many names: as the Seed; the Light; the manifestation of the Spirit; the grace of God that brings salvation, and has appeared unto all men; and as man is passive, under its operation, it will bring him from under the dominion of his evil passions and propensities, in which Satan holds his rule; and set up and establish the kingdom of heaven in his heart. The subject opened gradually, and the meeting was clothed with much solemnity; furnishing renewed cause for grateful, humble acknowledgment to the Master of assemblies, for his Divine presence and assistance. In the evening, we took tea with Isaac and Ruth Halleck. He is nearly eighty-two years of age; his wife a few years younger, and in the station of a minister. He named several Friends of our Yearly Meeting, long since deceased, and among them my grandfather, David Bacon; who, in company with some others, attended a treaty with the Indians in this State. Afterwards an old Indian undertook to give a character of those Friends, to a Friend who visited them, and David Bacon, he called a “cleared field”—meaning that he saw all around him. Dropping into silence, just before we left, the language of sympathy and comfort was extended to these ancient Friends; who have passed through much domestic affliction; and yet to old age, have been favored to hold on their way, and grow stronger in faith and confidence, in Him, who was with the three children in the furnace, and delivered them, so that the smell of fire was not found upon their garments; and continues to be with his children now in their deepest afflictions.

On second-day morning, Tenth month 5th, accompanied by Smith Upton, we set out for the meetings in Nine Partners Quarterly Meeting. We stopped to see Anne Thorne, who was about to embark for Europe, on a religious visit. She seemed quite cheerful. While sitting with them, I adverted to the necessity of keeping to the inward guidance of the Holy Spirit, in all our movements; it was that which could alone preserve us, whatever might be our stations in the church; whether fathers or mothers, young men or children; and if we were permitted at any time to ride, as upon the king's horse, we must return to the gate; in a lowly dependence upon the Lord. We were not to look on the countenance, or the height of the stature of any, but our eye and expectation must be to the Lord alone, for his guidance and direction. This was the ground on which our early Friends came forth, and a doctrine the Society has ever held; and it is only as we keep in humble reliance on the inward guidance of Christ's spirit, that we can experience preservation. She remarked that our coming in had reminded her of the meeting of the Apostle and the brethren, at the Three Taverns; and she trusted that we should remember each other, when far separated. We rode five miles to New Milford, where the meeting is held; much of the way through heavy rain, which deterred several from coming. This meeting, we were informed, originated among a number of students at a college in Connecticut; who were, in measure, convinced of the principles of Friends, by reading Barclay's Apology, which they found in the library. They met together for the performance of public worship, before they knew where there were any Friends; and not knowing the practice of Friends, some one of them exercised the office of preacher among them. Hearing of a Yearly Meeting, held on Long Island, some went to it; and becoming more perfectly informed of the church government established in the Society, they became members, and this meeting was acknowledged by Friends.

In sitting with the company now meeting there, the impression attended me, that there was more appearance of the Friend than an experimental acquaintance with the work of regeneration. The language of the Apostle, that “All are not Israel that are of Israel,” reviving, I endeavored, in a plain but tender manner, to hold up the necessity of examining and proving ourselves, whether we be in the faith which gives the victory over the world, the flesh and the devil. That the outward profession, without a living acquaintance with the inward work of sanctification, could avail little; and the danger of deceiving ourselves with the opinion, that we are better than we really are, made it needful frequently to present ourselves as in the presence of the Lord, that by his light we may see our true condition. In the afternoon, we rode up a very long, steep hill, to Oblong, to the house of Paul Osborne. His father, now in the ninety-second year of his age, lives with him. He retains his faculties and bodily powers in rather an extraordinary degree; has no pain or disease; and never had much sickness throughout his long life; he walks regularly to meeting, twice a week, distance half a mile.

We attended the meeting at Oblong, which was a heavy, dull time; and being able to come at little feeling of life, and religious exercise among them, concluded the sitting in silence.

Being the Preparative Meeting, and the time for answering five of their Queries, some opportunity was furnished for calling the attention of Friends to the reply to the Query, respecting the attendance of meetings, and the manner of conducting themselves therein; but not being able to divest myself of an impression to have an opportunity with men and women together, the partitions were opened, and, through the help of the Shepherd of Israel, we had a tendering opportunity. The danger of forgetting his mercy, who delivered us in the dark and cloudy day, as out of the paw of the lion, and the paw of the bear, was impressed; and Friends were called on to show forth in life and conversation, and in the weightiness of their spirits, the excellency of those principles which they professed: but if those among whom they dwelt, saw that they were engrossed with the things of the world; its comforts and pleasures; it must tend to the sentiment, that it made but little difference what our profession is.

Several very goodly young men and women were present; who appeared to have, in measure, yielded to the convictions of Truth in their minds; and the language of affectionate invitation was extended, to treasure up in their own hearts, the sayings of their Lord to them; to retire frequently, and enter into communion with Him; to take up his cross and follow Him; and they would witness a growth in grace, and come to be preachers of righteousness; by which others would be drawn to unite with them, in walking in the same blessed path. The necessity of a lively travail of spirit, when they assembled for Divine worship, every one for himself, was brought into view; this was the experience of Friends in the beginning; who sat down together in silence, waiting upon the Lord, and not on one another. As they gathered here, He who declared Himself to be in the midst of the two or three who meet in his name, broke in upon them, and melted and contrited their spirits, and enabled them to offer praise and thanksgiving to his ever worthy name.

On fifth-day we had an appointed meeting at the Branch, now held at a private house. It was a mixed company, Friends, a few Separatists, and a number not of us. The labor was difficult; part of it being directed against an active, self-confident spirit, ever ready to be doing; on which account I thought some made opposition. Christ's language at the marriage in Cana, “What have I to do with you? Mine hour is not yet come,” etc, and his direction to his immediate followers, to tarry at Jerusalem, until they were endued with power from on high, were alluded to. If they could do nothing without Him, who had seen his miracles, and been with Him, but were to wait for power, it surely must be necessary for us All preaching and prayer, without a renewed qualification, would avail but little; it would leave the mind barren and empty.

Several expressed their satisfaction with the meeting; but I did not feel as though the Divine unction as much attended and softened the people, as at some other times. Before we left our Friends, with whom we dined, sympathy with them in the responsibility which attaches to their station; at the head of a little company driven out of their meeting-house by the spirit of Hicksism, was expressed; as well as the need of asking wisdom to lead the flock connected with them. The prophet told Saul, he had done foolishly in offering, for fear the people should be scattered; and now it is needful to wait patiently for the Master, that whatever is done, may be under his direction.

Sixth-day the 9th. Attended Beekman Meeting; the house here is in the possession of Friends, but few having separated. It is a Preparative Meeting, and now includes Oswego. The company convened today nearly filled the house; and the advice of the wise man, not to say that the former days were better than the present, was revived. Notwithstanding it is our duty to commemorate the virtues of holy men, and women, yet it is also needful to remember that the power which made them so, is unchangeable; and as it is yielded to, will produce similar effects in our day. It was by giving heed to the little requisitions of Truth, that they grew in Grace from stature to stature; and in the same way must we, if we come to an establishment on the same foundation. They that are faithful in a little, shall be made rulers over more. That night we lodged at the house of the widow of James Congdon, at Oswego; it was an agreeable resting place.

Seventh-day 10th. Friends being deprived of their meetinghouse, nearly all the members having joined with E. Hicks, the few who maintain their ground, meet at the house of the widow. Several of those who met today were not members, and a few of them had been, or are connected with the Separatists. A lack of practical acquaintance with silent, patient waiting for the springing up of Divine life, sometimes makes it hard work for the few who endeavor to maintain that ground. This was the case here; but after a time, the way opened to relieve myself; though it required a patient, steady attention to the opening of the gift, so as to communicate what was designed for them. Tenderness spread over us, and the meeting concluded with prayer for our individual preservation, and strength to pursue the path of allotted duty faithfully. After meeting rode to Isaac Thorn's, at Nine Partners. Shortly after we got there, he arrived from New York, having accompanied his wife, going there for the purpose of embarking for England. She sailed on the 8th; and H. C. Backhouse also, who had been in this country on a religious visit, above five years.

First-day 11th. We were at the meeting here, which was a large company for these times; the children of the school being present. The service today, seemed to be for the purpose of encouraging those who were favored with a knowledge of their Master's will, to stand faithfully to it, notwithstanding the opposition they may have to meet. “All that will live godly in Christ Jesus, shall suffer persecution.” Even the adverse opinions of our most intimate friends are sometimes to be borne, though they inflict great trial upon us; yet it is our duty to keep firm to what is right, and in due time, our opponents may be convinced and brought to unite with us. The Apostle declared that, “If I yet pleased men I should not be the servant of Christ;” our business is to please Him that has visited and called us by his grace. A qualification was graciously furnished to show the dignified standing of a true, self-denying follower of Christ, let what may, come upon him; and that as he keeps faithful, he will be built up and established on that Rock, which is Christ; against which, the powers of darkness cannot prevail. Some advice was also communicated to parents, on the necessity of restraining their children, as well as counseling them. The complaint against Eli was, that he had not restrained his sons; and they both died in one day, and the ark fell into the hands of their enemies. Similar danger awaited us. The duty of obedience to all the lawful commands of parents, was also enforced upon the children.

I was much disappointed in finding very nearly all the children in the school, [under the care of the Yearly Meeting,] dressed in a fashionable manner, and that more than one-half of them were not members of the Society of Friends. If the Yearly Meeting admits into its school such a departure from plainness, the children who are placed there, receive the impression that the Society regards dress as of little consequence.

Being naturally fond of finery, they will expect to be indulged in it; and if a proper restraint is not maintained, the example may spread a disadvantageous influence to other children in the Society. As it is their practice to read in the afternoon, we sat with them, and after several chapters of the Bible had been read, the way opened to hold up the excellency of these inestimable writings, and the advantage of daily reading them.

Every one has the gift of Grace, or the manifestation of the Spirit; a reprover, and teacher which accompanies us wherever we go, and knows the most secret thought and intention of the heart. They were tenderly invited to mind and obey its convictions, and it would bring them to love their Creator in the days of their youth; and give them that peace which the world could not; nor could it deprive them of it. We then set out for Pleasant Valley, and were agreeably received and lodged at the house of a Friend, who, with his wife, treated us very affectionately.

Second-day morning 12th. A meeting having been appointed at Poughkeepsie, we sat with a small company who assembled there. Much the larger part of the Society here, seceded; and Friends had to build a house to accommodate themselves.

It proved a good opportunity; one of the young men was much broken into tears. If any good is done, we have cause to be thankful to Him, by whom alone it can be effected. In prosecuting our religious duty in visiting meetings, we are often assailed with doubt whether any good is produced by it; and sometimes are ready to think, were it not for the purpose of doing what is required, we might as well be at home. Such feelings contribute to our humiliation, and tend to keep us under religious exercise, that our Divine Leader may continue with us, and accompany what He may give for the people, with his baptizing power, and thereby carry on his own work. In the afternoon, we crossed the North River at Poughkeepsie.

On the following afternoon, we rode to Canterbury, and attended Cornwall Quarterly Meeting, held on fourth and fifth-days. In the Meeting of Ministers and Elders, the situation of Israel abiding in their tents according to their tribes, impressed my mind, as representing the members of the church, keeping their habitation in the Truth; and every one filling up his duty, allotted by the Great Head. The subject was a little opened, to show the happy effects it has on them individually; dwelling in a state of lowly-mindedness, where they may know the dew of heaven to rest upon them, and a growth to be experienced in the Truth. In this situation they are prepared to be instrumental in exalting the kingdom of the Messiah, and to draw from others, the acknowledgment that they are a settled, substantial people; inwardly gathered to the teachings of the Holy Spirit; and against whom no divination or enchantment can prevail. Some further remarks were made to awaken some to the great importance of silent, patient waiting in our religious meetings; that they might not, like Saul, attempt to offer any thing lest the people should be scattered.

In the meeting, next day, it did not appear to be my place to say anything. When the Meeting for Discipline was about to close, I thought it right to request the partitions to be opened; that we might have a few minutes together. The weak state of the Society was adverted to, and the means by which it would be strengthened; the importance of every one keeping in their own places, with a single eye to the Master, that no one might put forth a hand to steady the ark unbidden; that gifts were dispensed; to some the gift of discerning spirits; and when any one misapprehends his or her service, and offered that which brought death, such were to caution them, that they might be preserved; and that those only who had experienced, in measure, the work of sanctification, were suitable to take an active part in the discipline of the church.

Some Friends who attended the Quarterly Meeting, piloted us to Beekman, in the evening; and early the following morning, we rode eighteen miles to Smith Upton's; and that day attended the Creek Monthly Meeting, to satisfaction. Our friends treated us with marked kindness, being anxious to do everything they could to promote our comfort.

Tenth month 17th, seventh-day, we rode to Stanford, to the house of our late beloved friend Henry Hull; his widow, who had been on a visit south, when we were there before, having returned. Attended the Monthly Meeting; in which the need of patient submission to the sittings permitted to come upon us, was feelingly opened; and the states of some who need it, and of some who were partaking of such dispensations, were spoken to. Sarah M. Upton, who accompanied us, appeared in supplication.

On answering the Queries, it was evident that the maintenance of the discipline was much neglected; and that cases of long standing had been suffered to remain unattended to. The sound, healthy condition of a meeting is much promoted by the support and faithful administration of the discipline.

They admitted their weakness; and I suggested the expediency of the overseers from all the Preparative Meetings uniting, and entering into a thorough investigation of the state of their members; for where the discipline is not sustained, a meeting must decline. It was approved. Set off in the afternoon for Hudson, and got to the meeting on first-day. Here we sat under a painful sense of the life of religion being low amongst them; and that some who had known the visitations of Divine love, in time past, had turned their back upon the Truth, and were pursuing their own ways. The expressions of our Lord, that “Many are called, but few are chosen;” and that “Many that are first shall be last, and the last shall be first;” were brought into view, and exemplified by the parable of the marriage of the king's son. They were warned of the awful consequence of doing despite to the Spirit of Grace: “Seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to open shame;” though should the period arrive when, for fear of Him who sits upon the throne, and the wrath of the Lamb, they might call on the rocks and the mountains to hide them, it would be in vain. Several of the doctrines of the Christian religion were opened and enforced, and a solemn covering came over the meeting.

Notice was spread for a meeting at two o'clock, in the afternoon of the 19th, at Chatham; to which the few Friends, who compose the meeting here, came. Several others, not Friends, also attended. The nature of Divine worship, under the gospel dispensation, was opened, from the expression of the apostle Paul: “We are the circumcision which worship God in the spirit; and rejoice in Christ Jesus; and have no confidence in the flesh;” and according to the declaration of our Lord: “God is a Spirit, and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth;” for such “the Father seeks to worship Him.” To offer acceptable worship, really and truly from the heart, it must undergo a change from its fallen, corrupt state. Everything proceeding from man, of himself, in this latter condition, must be impure, and cannot find acceptance.

No fountain, at the same time, sends forth sweet water and bitter. Regeneration, under the powerful operation of the Holy Ghost and fire, was enforced; that the heart being cleansed and sanctified, offerings, prepared by the High Priest of our profession, may be offered to Him who searches the heart, and will not look on iniquity or transgression. In the course of the communication, I had occasion to show the advantages of knowing our passions subjugated, and brought under the contriting power of the Spirit of the Redeemer; who prayed for the forgiveness of his enemies; that those who were not thus regulated, were often carried away with gusts of passion; committing acts of violence, which afterwards covered them with blushes and confusion; but the true followers of Christ, when they were reviled, reviled not again; and when persecuted, threatened not.

I was told, afterwards, that an old man, who was present, was noted in the neighborhood for the uncommon violence of his passion, and had disgraced himself on one or more occasions, by his conduct, when under the terrible influence of it. This meeting was rather a trying opportunity to me, and when closed, I desired Friends to remain. I endeavored to awaken in them a just sense of the importance of their situation; and of self-examination; whether the things of the world were too much engrossing their time and talents, that through Holy help, they might become lights in their neighborhood; and sitting down together in humble dependence upon the Lord, be a means of drawing others to join with them; their demeanor and the state of their spirits, holding forth the invitation Come “That you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son, Jesus Christ.”

The situation of the few Friends here, is very unfavorable for the right education of children. What society they have, is mostly with those by whom their principles are endangered; and their parents indulge them in dressing in a fashionable manner; so that there is little prospect of a meeting being sustained here with reputation.

Tenth month 20th. We rode thirty miles to a house near South-Adams; passing Lebanon Springs, and in sight of the Hancock settlement of the Shakers; many of whom we met on the road. From there through Hancock village, Lanesborough, Cheshire Corner, and South Adams, where several factories are located, on a stream running to it. Having no guide, though we found the route readily, our pilgrimage felt a little lonely; especially as we now entered a section of country, where but little attention appeared to be paid, rightly to cultivate the mind, and raise it above the grovelling pursuits of earthly things. The superior advantages of the members in our own beloved city, where such various opportunities are afforded for improvement in every respect; and where many are found availing themselves of these peculiar benefits, came into view; and while it warmed up feelings of strong attachment to many there, also raised desires that we might all duly prize our privileges, and be found putting shoulder to shoulder in the work of the Lord. I believe, if the younger members of our Society do heartily devote themselves to his cause, that a noble band will be raised up, from generation to generation, to exalt the testimonies and discipline given us to bear; and that the Lord will still make the place of his feet glorious amongst us. He will glorify the house of his glory, and dignify them that truly and steadfastly honor Him.

Fourth-day 21st. Attended Hoosic Preparative Meeting held here, consisting of a small company who have resisted the influence of Hicksism. The men are all, about or below the meridian of life, and do not appear to have had much experience, though well disposed to maintain our principles. The service in the first meeting seemed to run against the state that considers itself whole and sound, as not needing a physician; which can argue, and defend sound principles, and appear very knowing in spiritual things, while ignorant of itself. Such are very liable to be misled by the subtle deceiver, in his transformations as an angel of light, and become instrumental in leading others astray. “They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.” “I am not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” It is only as we are willing to come to the light, that we can see our diseased and sinful state, and receive a disposition to apply to the Great Physician to be healed and cleansed of our maladies. This was pressed upon the audience, several of whom were not members; as well as the dangers of the transformations of Satan, as a leader in religious matters. The few Friends were encouraged to yield to the sanctifying power of Him, who is compared to a refiner of silver; that the dross and tin may be purged away, and they be prepared to offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord, and hold up a pure testimony to the blessed Truth in that place; leading forward, as shepherds and shepherdesses, the flock in their charge.

It was by no means a high day; but keeping low and speaking deliberately, I was sensible of being led in a path which the Master cast up, and which I believe was descriptive of the states of individuals present; for which I felt peaceful and thankful.

In the second meeting, I made some remarks, after the Queries, on the importance of rightly and faithfully maintaining the discipline, as a means of preserving the body sound and healthy. We left a few books and tracts with several Friends, and in the afternoon rode fourteen miles to Ware's tavern, where we lodged and breakfasted. From this place we proceeded to Hoosic Corners, eleven miles, and from there to the house of an elderly Friend in Pittstown, nine miles. He and his wife received and dined us kindly, and then piloted us over to Schaghticoke Point.

In Pittstown, a pretty large meeting of Friends was held, before the separation; but M. H. and his family are now nearly all that remain united to the Society. They have thirty miles to ride to South Adams, to attend the Monthly Meeting there, to which they belong; and eleven miles to Schaghticoke, to a small meeting of worship, held in a private house, but which is a branch of another Monthly Meeting; no meeting of Friends being held at Pittstown. It is truly deplorable to witness the ravages of unsound principles through this part of New York Yearly Meeting; and from the information received, as we pass along, many who did not at first approve of those principles, now advocate them; and those who did, progress still deeper in the dark mazes of infidelity.

On sixth-day 23rd, we held a meeting with the few Friends at Schaghticoke Point, in a private dwelling where they usually meet. Nearly all of them—about ten—appeared to be exemplary, and concerned to bring up their children in a consistent manner; and, I thought, were under exercise, that they might be found in the discharge of their religious duties. The way opened to encourage them to put their trust in the Shepherd of Israel, and endeavor to do what their hands found to do in his service; that they might be enabled to hold up a testimony to Truth in their neighborhood; by which others might be drawn to join them in the same good work. We distributed some books among the young people; and after dining, rode to Union village, fourteen miles, and put up at a tavern. Seventh-day rode twenty-six miles, to J. W.'s, near Bishop's Corners, in Granville. This Friend and wife removed, a few years since, from Dartmouth, near New Bedford, Massachusetts; they entertained us very pleasantly.

On first-day 25th, attended their meeting, composed of about thirteen families, held in an upper room in an old tavern house, now a private dwelling. The accommodation is better than most private rooms, but the members contemplate building next year. It appears to me very desirable, that Friends who are turned out of their meeting-houses, should erect others as early as convenient. Young persons and strangers are more willing to attend a meeting held in a house appropriated exclusively for the purpose of Divine worship; and to others, it feels more like assembling for that object. The meeting here was rather trying to me, from an apprehension that many are much immersed in the world.

Dined at N. P.'s, where we had a little opportunity to encourage him and his wife, who are at the head of the meeting, to labor to fulfill their duties as overseers of the flock, in bringing forward the young people, by their example, under the government and yoke of Christ. Our friends J. W. and wife piloted us, in the afternoon, over to Danby, when we put up at the house of a Friend. We passed the evening in agreeable conversation. It afforded an opportunity of entering upon some of those points which clash with the doctrines of Friends; particularly in relation to the continuance of immediate revelation in the church of Christ. The Friend recited several instances of those who professed to have it on all occasions, but who afterwards made shipwreck of faith. I told him that I believed those who were most favored with it, would say the least of having it themselves; but endeavoring to keep to its guidance, left it to their friends to feel and decide whether their services originated in that source; that professors carrying any one point to an extreme, or making shipwreck of faith and a good profession, was no argument against the truth; which lay out of all extremes; and we should be on our guard against suffering one error, or extreme, to drive us from the Truth, into another. I disapproved of all unauthorized and unsanctified pretensions; but, at the same time, the immediate influence and guidance of the Holy Spirit, were the root and foundation of true faith, and the work of religion in the soul. It was to this the primitive believers were gathered; the manifestation of the Spirit which is given to every man to profit withal; and by which alone we can savingly understand the Holy Scriptures.

Christ opened the understandings of his immediate disciples to comprehend the Scriptures; and He does the same thing now, by his Spirit in the hearts of his believing children, as He sees fit for them; and if any man has not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. It was so in the Apostolic church, and it remains to be the case still, and ever will so remain. He united with me, though at first he seemed disposed to bring into view the defections of some wild pretenders. I told him that the Anabaptists of Munster, pretending to the authority of the Spirit for their wild actions, were sometimes cited by the opponents of revelation, to disprove its continuation in the church; but that Robert Barclay remarked, it was no more a valid argument against it, than that the reference of others to the Holy Scriptures, as authority for the many wrong deeds they have committed, destroys their truth and authenticity. On second-day morning, we held a meeting at Danby with the few members there, and some others who came in. The stream was low, which made the work laborious; and after the meeting was over, it seemed as if nothing was gained, and I felt discouraged. Just before setting out, the family came into the parlor, and through the gracious goodness of our Holy Helper, we had a tendering time with them. Soon after entering the house, I had been arrested with the impression that one of the daughters was brought under Divine visitation, and referring to it in this interview, it affected the parents and herself especially; so that we had cause to thank Him, who mercifully regards us in our various conditions, and to take fresh courage to press forward. Rode sixteen miles to Clarendon, put up at a tavern, and early the following morning set out again, and proceeded forty-one miles, and again lodged at a public house.

On fourth-day morning, 28fch of tenth month, we reached the house of an elderly man at Ferrisburg, to whom we had been recommended. They kindly prepared us breakfast, and we attended the Monthly Meeting held at Monkton. Here I felt the situation of sitting in a company, every one of whom was a stranger to me. Endeavoring to retire in my mind, the language of sympathy and encouragement arrested me; and after a Friend had spoken, I rose with the declaration, “I will bring the blind by a way which they know not, and lead them in paths they have not known; I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight; this will I do unto them, and not forsake them, says the Lord.” The stream of consolation flowed gently towards some present, and we had cause of thankfulness to the Leader of Israel for favoring with a little opening of this kind, for our own comfort and strength, as well as that of others. We were at first, as completely strangers to them, as they were to us. Finding that a Preparative Meeting of Ministers and Elders was to be held next day at Starksborough, and their Monthly Meeting on sixth-day, we went there.

Attended the select meeting; in which after the business was nearly finished, way opened to show that every gift was derived from Him, “who ascended up on high, led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men:” that no man could make himself a minister; nor could he exercise the gift after receiving it, but under the direction of Him who gave it; and for this he must be exercised in patient waiting; and when any thing is given him of the Lord, he is not to be hasty in offering it; as George Fox remarked, when a man receives any thing from the Lord, he keeps it and waits to feel the Lord's power go forth over the assembly. As a minister thus waits, he will be furnished, if the great Master calls upon him to minister to the people, with sufficient clearness to rise, and a word will be put into his mouth; and when he does speak, he should keep calm and deliberate, out of all excitement; communicating that which is opened to his mind by Him, who alone knows what is necessary for the states of the people.

The house of our kind and intelligent friend, where we were entertained, was an agreeable lodging-place to us; the influence of education and suitable reading, in expanding the mind, divesting it of many illiberal, contracted notions, was visible here. But in too many cases, we find Friends, of sufficient means, who have neglected the education of their children very much; or, after having given them small portions, do not provide them with suitable books, to employ their leisure hours, in storing their minds with useful and instructive ideas. Labor for our subsistence, is unquestionably necessary, but we may slide into the habit of pursuing our worldly concerns with such avidity, as to lose all relish for mental improvement; and for those things which are invisible and eternal. When old age overtakes this description of persons, they have few objects of thought and conversation, but the little round of worldly concerns, which have engrossed their time and attention for many years; but little interest in anything beyond their own affairs; and for lack of having been engaged to lay up treasure in heaven, are often destitute of any ability to promote the welfare of religious society, and the advancement of the testimonies of Truth. Their example tends to lead those around them into the same worldly pursuits; and thus, instead of being the salt of the earth, and lights in the world, they prove stumbling blocks to sincere enquirers after Truth, and blind guides to the youth in the Society. Such persons are objects of commiseration and regret. These are subjects that ought to call forth the energies of the Society; not only in a fervent concern for the religious welfare of the young people, but in adopting proper measures for their guarded school education; visiting them in their families, and endeavoring to elevate their minds by furnishing suitable libraries in the Preparative Meetings.

Chapter VII

1835—1836

Continuation of visit to Friends in New York and Vermont—Returns Home—Engages in a Periodical Publication of the Approved Writings of Friends—Attends the Yearly Meeting in New York—Religious visit to Ohio Yearly Meeting, and the Meetings belonging to it in the Western part of Pennsylvania.

On sixth-day, I attended the Monthly Meeting of Starksborough; composed of Montpelier, Lincoln, Creek and Starksborough Particular Meetings. No separation has taken place in this Monthly Meeting, and it is large. A feeling of solemn silence spread over us early after sitting down; and it appeared to be my place to address the younger classes, whose minds were measurably seasoned with Divine love; to show them that the work of Grace was gradual and progressive.

The figure of the preparation of the clay, by pulverizing, watering and softening, preparatory to forming vessels; and the process of drying and burning, before they are fit to receive what they are designed to contain, was opened before me in a lively manner. The further necessity of enduring the baptisms, which shall be administered from time to time, to keep the vessel clean, was also affectionately held up to their view. He that puts forth, graciously furnished with matter adapted to the occasion; and another Friend followed in short testimony, confirmatory of what had been offered. We then proceeded to the business of the Monthly Meeting, which kept us a long time. That evening we rode, through rain, and after dark, to Monkton.

Tenth month 31st, seventh-day. Held a meeting here with the few Friends which compose it. It was a cold, unfeeling time; I was able to come at nothing like an evidence, that it was my place to say anything; though there were some presentations which died away, and we closed in silence. It may be a trial to call Friends together, and pass the whole time without having anything to communicate; but He only that sees in secret knows what is best; and it is our place to stand submissive to his will. Friends may become so habituated to hear words, that they may depend too much upon them; and then the mouths of ministers may be closed; to show the necessity of every one laboring for himself, and maintaining a constant dependence upon the Minister of the Sanctuary. I felt low through the afternoon, thinking that the fault might be in myself, and that I may not have kept sufficiently humble, under the favors which have been conferred on us in this visit. I looked at the feelings of my mind, on requesting the notice of the meeting to be given, and remembered that they were then clear and settled; and could not now charge myself with willfully omitting to speak in the meeting. Hoping that it might be in the Divine ordering, I settled down under the desire to bear whatever might be my place, and to endeavor to profit by the various changes which our Holy Leader may see proper.

We had a little opportunity with the family where we dined; in which the children were much tendered. They were invited to take up the cross and follow their Lord and Master; who would strengthen them, as they yielded to Him, to deny themselves of whatever He called them to give up. Attended Ferrisburg Meeting on first-day morning. Here we had a laborious time; under a sense that very few were engaged to labor for themselves, depending on what they may hear from others; yet there are a number who appear sincerely desirous to know the Truth, and to live under its direction.

In conversation with a man who had travelled but little, and who was not a little contracted in his views of others, I was led to the reflection, that where people are delving in the earth all their lives, and paying scarcely any attention to the improvement and enlargement of their minds, they possess little qualification to judge of others. They try everything by their own standard, which is formed according to the limited sphere they move in; and for lack of knowing, either by interaction with others, or reading, the great variety of habits which prevails among people equally pious, they often censure what differs from their customs; and conclude that those who so differ are influenced by pride. This is especially obvious, where the heart has not been softened by the Spirit of the Redeemer, and brought to see its own deformity, and from there clothed with Divine charity. True religion effects wonderful changes in us; while it clothes us with proper love and allowance for others, it erects a standard, founded upon the purity and simplicity of the gospel of Christ; and neither condemns for those distinctions, which arise from mere difference of education; nor admits of those varieties which spring from and foster pride in the human heart, and are inconsistent with the Truth.

The abolition of slavery is a subject which engrosses much thought and conversation in these parts; and it appeared to me, that Friends are drawn into coalition with others in their measures to effect this object, more than is best for them. Ever since we cleared our hands of slavery, Friends have advocated the freedom of the blacks on principle; but if we enter into alliances with others, we may find before we expect it, that some measures will be proposed, which will violate other principles that we hold equally dear; or in their operation, land us in circumstances which will not admit of our union with others, if we retain the character of consistent Friends. I believe we had better pursue our own course, under the direction of Divine Wisdom, in promoting the spread of the Redeemer's kingdom; and by lives of strict conformity to his benign precepts, we should be lights to others; and offer the most effectual stimulus to them, to go and do likewise. Each denomination would be likely to act according to the light it possesses, and they would mutually stimulate one another to zeal and diligence.

On the following morning, we attended a meeting appointed for us at the Creek, formerly South Starksborough. The subject of living and walking in the Truth, by which we partake of the greatest blessing in this life, was opened; and the means placed within the reach of all, explained, as laid down in the Scripture doctrine; that the true Light enlightens every man that comes into the world. And “This is the condemnation, that light is come into the world; and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that does evil, hates the light; neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that does truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest that they are wrought in God.” I was led to show that this Divine light convicted us of sin, and brought condemnation and shame upon us for it; that, if received in its visitations, it gives strength to resist temptation, and to come out of our evil practices, and enlist under the government of Christ. But by resisting its convictions, and the offers of love and mercy, the heart becomes more and more hardened; and at last might reach that condition in which we may deny that these convictions proceed from the Holy Spirit striving with man, and come to attribute them to mere imagination. It felt to me that there were those there, who were unbelievers in Divine revelation, and the truths of the gospel of Christ; and I believed it right to say, that if any persisted in denying and rejecting the strivings of the Holy Spirit, throughout the day of visitation, they would be left in darkness.

After dining, we rode to the house of a minister, and in conversation, he expressed his satisfaction that some points had been opened, as they were, in the meeting. He said a young man and his father were present, who were known to deny immediate revelation. The young man had been clerk of their Preparative Meeting, and was displaced, and a minute made on its records, that it was in consequence of his unsound principles.

On Eleventh month 4th, fourth-day, we attended the Select Quarterly Meeting held at Lincoln, which was a dull time. At the close, I mentioned my apprehension, that Friends joining others in Anti-slavery and Temperance Societies, would be attended with injury to them and the young people; their spiritual strength would be impaired; and it did appear to me not proper, that our ministers should attend such places It was true, we had our individual rights, and the Society had not prohibited it; but I feared it would affect their growth in the life of Truth.

We went to the Meeting for Discipline, which gathered very irregularly and late; so that it seemed hardly probable we should have much solemnity very soon. After a Friend had made some observations, showing the necessity of feeling our own inability to do any good work; though my feelings indicated little like communicating anything, the testimony of the Apostle, that “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down strongholds,” etc, had presented; and recurring with some weight, I rose with it, and endeavored to show that the weapons of the Christian's warfare remained the same at this day; and any that man could invent or use, in his own wisdom and strength, would not prove mighty through God, to the pulling down of the strongholds of sin, either in himself or in others; that Christ alone could clothe us with the “armor of God,” by which we were to make war in righteousness against the man of sin and son of perdition. These weapons were to cast down all imaginations of self-importance, and every high thing, however specious, that exalts itself against the knowledge of God; bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. In the first place, experiencing this, in measure, effected in ourselves, we should be prepared to be used in his hand to promote it in others; and whatever might have been our attainments, it is necessary to be frequently stripped and searched, that we may be found in a situation to be renewedly clothed with this armor.

Satan could transform himself into the appearance of an angel of light; and unless every thought of our own importance and ability was brought into obedience to Christ, we might be deceived and led into things which would not advance the Redeemer's kingdom. Even those who had known the sword of the Spirit unsheathed against the transgressing nature, and in good degree gained the victory over it, may be deceived if they do not abide in lowly watchfulness before the Lord; for the beast had seven heads and ten crowns; and after being wounded, its deadly wound was healed. I was also led to show that the church of Christ was compared to a body having many members; each of which has its function to perform. As we kept our places in the body, every one eyeing the Head, and receiving direction from Him, we should be preserved from interfering with each other's duties; Ephraim would not envy Judah, nor would Judah vex Ephraim. When any felt the Spirit of the Lord stirring in them, as in the camp of Dan; or as fire shut up in their bones; after waiting patiently his time, they were to deliver in his fear, what He gave them to communicate and that which was brought forth under right authority, would raise the life in others, who were keeping their places. There were those whose voices were not frequently heard, but who maintained a steadfast travail of spirit, that all might be preserved in the right exercise of their gifts, and a harmonious action together. These were like ballast in a vessel. Several views were taken of the subject; and the young people encouraged to keep under exercise, and to be faithful to the Lord's requirings.

A solemn covering spread over the meeting. But little was said to the Queries and Answers by any one. I made a few remarks, in which a Friend united, on the disadvantage of retaining persons in membership, merely because they requested; after they had transgressed the discipline. We often found that such were of very little use to the Society; and if their principles were unsound, it gave them greater opportunity to spread the infection by mingling with the members.

Next day attended the meeting for public worship there; which is still held by this Quarter. In the afternoon returned to Starksborough, to the house of our very kind friends, J. and L. B., where we lodged.

Eleventh month 7th. Set off this morning early, in company with our friend C. S., and wife and daughter, for his residence near Montpelier; the weather being wet, and part of the road bad, made the ride uncomfortable. Notice having been spread, a number of respectable-looking people assembled with Friends, at their first-day meeting. It appeared to be my place to hold up the doctrine of the immediate influence of the Holy Spirit; and that those who, through its converting power, became the adopted children of our Heavenly Father, are drawn to pray for its assistance and preservation, day by day; that according to the language of our Savior, “If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him.”

The subject opened in various ways; both in relation to the universality of the gift of Grace; its various operations in baptizing the soul, as fire to purge away its defilements, and render it fit to offer acceptable worship to God; and also as to the mediation of the Lord Jesus, by whom it is communicated. I thought, however, that the stream did not rise as at some other times; yet the people were very still and attentive. I could not see that I had made any mistake, unless it was in rising too early; but of this I could feel no conviction; and yet I was brought low, so that I took little satisfaction in the company of Friends.

Second-day, 9th. We rode forty-three miles to Burlington, on Lake Champlain; put up at an inn, and the following morning, placing carriage and horses on a steamboat, we landed them at Port Kent, on the opposite shore; where we were joined by a Friend, and then proceeded in the steamboat to Grand Isle, where a meeting had been appointed for us, to be held at half-past eleven o'clock. Through detention, the boat did not arrive until after twelve. We took a wagon, and at once rode two miles to the meeting-house, where we found a number of women convened, and some men, waiting for us. We sat down with them; several more came in, and after some time of waiting upon the Lord, the subject of love to God and to our brother was presented; and help was mercifully near, to qualify for the service. First-days' experience made me renewedly sensible, that the gospel cannot be preached, but as the Master condescends to open and furnish matter, and accompany it with his baptizing power; and I felt very desirous of doing nothing but what He should direct. In this humble state, one thing was opened after another; and prayer and thanksgiving arose, for the continuance of his Divine presence, and aid in the work which He appoints. When the boat returned from St. Albans, we went on board, landed at Port Kent, and taking horses and carriage, reached Peru after dark.

Fourth-day 11th. Attended the usual week-day meeting here, and was distressed with the indifference of many. It seemed as if not a few have contracted the habit of looking for preaching, and neglecting their own business of seeking for sustenance for themselves. About time to close the meeting it appeared proper to bring into view the object for which we assemble which is to wait upon the Lord, and to feel after him, if happily we may find Him; but if we pass the time in thinking our own thoughts, suffering the mind to range abroad among the objects of our worldly pursuits, we may come and go without receiving any benefit. I endeavored to relieve my mind amongst them. We have now got through the meetings of Ferrisburg Quarter, with the exception of Farnham, a meeting in Canada, which we could not visit in time to reach Saratoga Quarter.

There are many goodly, well-concerned Friends in this part of the Society, who are desirous of maintaining our religious principles and discipline; but it appears to me, that there is too much fondness for words; and some, without authority, undertake to exercise the office of the ministry. Wherever there is a fondness for speaking and hearing, there will be danger that a sound judgment will not be exercised, in suppressing forward, active persons, who would intrude themselves into this sacred office. Hence a spurious ministry grows up, and the people love to have it so, rather than endure silence in our religious meetings.

By this means, instead of being seasons of solemnity, imparting spiritual strength, the mind is vacant, uneasy and listless. Many seem to be very ignorant of the nature of religious exercise; and the practice of thus assembling, is in danger of becoming a mere form. If the habit of public speaking without life is promoted, a multitude of such preachers may be spread over the Society, ministering death; and leading the members away from the place of true waiting and feeding, into a restless desire after words; which will never build any on the most holy faith, nor strengthen them against one sin. Such find that speaking smooth things pleases their hearers, who will caress them for their fair speeches, and extol them as fine preachers; while the true minister, who cannot flinch from speaking the truth, will feel that his testimony is not relished, and a secret prejudice is indulged against him. But there are in almost every meeting, some painful travelers, who understand the language of the Spirit, and rejoice to find others speaking the same thing, and walking in the same tribulated path. These will salute each other as brethren and sisters, and rejoice in the fellowship of the Gospel; and a secret satisfaction is felt in having been instrumental in visiting the seed.

Before leaving our lodgings, I had a little opportunity with the family; in which I affectionately pressed the necessity of living loose to the world and its gratifications, and following the Lord Jesus, under the subjecting power of the cross. The general simplicity of their children was a pleasant sight; and they were encouraged to join with their parents, in faithfully giving up to the requisitions of Truth, so that they might become lights in the world, and living members of the body of Christ; prepared for usefulness in his church. Left there between nine and ten o'clock, and rode about eighteen miles to a tavern, and dined, on our way to Queensbury, about one hundred miles distant from Peru. Our course lay through a mountainous, rude country, many parts of it little settled, or capable of much improvement; and the road, in some places, extremely bad, being very rocky, and the logged parts decayed, which made it very jolting. That night and the next, we lodged at taverns; and on seventh-day afternoon, got safely to Queensbury, where we put up at the house of a Friend.

At the time of the division, Friends, for the sake of holding their meetings peaceably, assembled in the afternoon of first-day, though their members were about equal in number with the Separatists. We attended the meeting, and from our feelings, thought a disadvantage sustained by assembling at that hour. It seemed difficult to come at much lively feeling, or a clearness of what was proper to be done; not feeling easy to leave the meeting without bringing into view, the blessing of being brought under a right exercise of mind for the salvation of our own souls; and the still greater favor, of being kept under it from day to day. I was enabled to speak to the states, as I apprehended, of some present, who had suffered their minds to be drawn aside from pursuing those things which they had seen, in the light of Truth, belong to their everlasting peace.

The fire was to be kept constantly burning on the altar, under the law; and it is necessary, under the Gospel, to have the fire of Divine love daily replenished in the heart, that we may be qualified to offer acceptable sacrifices to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, the Great High Priest of our profession. I felt very desirous, in using plainness of speech to some present, that it might be under that unction, which will open the heart to receive and acknowledge the truth of what is said; and that this description of service, which represents the defects of professors, may be evidently a work of necessity and not of choice.

On third-day attended the Select Quarterly Meeting, in which some ability was granted to encourage those who meet in the little companies which constitute the meetings of this Quarter, to keep faithfully to religious exercise, and the support of their meetings. Friends were few in the beginning; but by faithfulness and steadfast dependence upon the Lord, they were increased in number and strength; and so, by the same means, in the present day, the few who keep their places, may be like the roots of a new growth among us.

The Quarterly Meeting was now again composed of the members of Easton and Saratoga, by conclusion of the Yearly Meeting; the latter having been instituted a Quarterly Meeting out of the former. This was the first time they again met in connection.

On the subject of education, and the perusal of the Holy Scriptures, I made a few remarks, tending to enforce the duty of parents to watch over and rightly educate their offspring; exampling them in bearing the daily cross, and instructing them to yield to the influences of the Spirit of Christ in their own hearts; which would lead them into self-denial, and to love to read the records of the experiences of holy men of old, and the doctrines of Christ and his Apostles. It is the custom here to hold a meeting for public worship; the weather being very dark and foggy, it was not so large as usual. The forepart was heavy, and I think I have scarcely ever been kept in more suspense respecting my duty, as for a long time in this meeting; but believing it unsafe to attempt to move, until greater clearness, though several presentations were made to my mind, I kept still and inward. After a Friend had delivered a short testimony, the way appeared to open; and through the Lord's goodness and condescension, matter was furnished, and the solemnizing power of Truth spread over the meeting. Strong desires prevailed in my mind, that all present might, through submission to the washings of regeneration, and by the precious blood of Christ, be found amongst the multitude that surround the throne of the Lord God, and the Lamb; who shall ascribe blessing and honor, thanksgiving and high renown to Him that has redeemed them. We parted from many of our friends in near affection.

Eleventh month 20th. Attended a meeting appointed at Greenfield; at the interment of a minister. It was composed of a great mixture. The prophetic description of the Messiah: “Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, and The Prince of Peace;” and the testimony of Peter, that there was no other name, under heaven, given amongst men whereby we must be saved; also that of Paul, that he had fought the good fight, kept the faith, etc, were brought into view, and salvation by faith in the Son and Sent of God, and obedience to Him, preached to the company. It came before me also, to warn the believers in Christ, who were present, of the dangerous influence of infidelity, and not to touch it in any manner; and in describing the awful consequences of it, I referred to the testimony of Christ, that those who heard his sayings and did them not, were building on a foundation that would fail; and that the hope of the infidel would be no better than that of the hypocrite, etc. A Friend informed us afterwards, that some unbelievers were present. That evening we reached a tavern, lodged, and early the following morning, (seventh-day,) proceed to Providence, where we attended an appointed meeting. The doctrine of unconditional predestination was controverted; its effect to settle in fatal security, those who imagined themselves of the elect, but were living in sin; and the tendency to despair, or to neglect their salvation, in those who were tempted to suppose they were reprobated from all eternity, were exposed; and the universal love of God to all mankind, in providing the means for their reconciliation, by sending his beloved Son into the world, to offer himself a sacrifice for their sins, and furnishing them with the gift of Divine Grace, to effect their regeneration, was advocated. The people were quiet and very attentive. Several Calvanistic Baptists were present, as we were afterwards told by a Friend. In the afternoon, we rode to Ballston, eighteen miles, and put up at a tavern.

22nd, First-day morning. Rose early and rode to W. C.'s, at Half Moon, to breakfast. He and his family received and entertained us very kindly. Their first-day meetings commence at two P. M., in consequence of the Separatists keeping the house in the forenoon. We sat long in silence; until I supposed we should separate as we came; but the expression, “The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong;” but they that hold out to the end shall be saved; having frequently revived and presented, I was fearful of leaving the place without communicating it; and holding up to view, that those who had begun well, but again turned aside, became stumbling-blocks, and brought reproach upon the religion they had professed. We passed the evening in agreeable conversation, and closed it with reading a portion of the Scriptures; and endeavoring to enlist the young people in the service of their Lord, that they might experience preservation from the snares that abound in the world, and be prepared to fill up their stations in the church.

Eleventh month 23rd, second-day morning. Rode through snow, twenty miles, to Albany; dined there, and proceeded on our way, seven miles, towards Middlebury Monthly Meeting, in Duanesburg Quarter, and then stopped at an inn. The road being covered eight inches with snow, made traveling heavy and difficult.

The Quarterly Meeting of Saratoga, though increased by the reunion of Easton, is not large. There are sound, judicious members; and some who, though not possessing much experience, appear to be devoted to the cause and testimonies of Truth. But, like other parts of the Society, too many are engrossed in their worldly concerns, and do not come forward with that strength and clearness, which entire dedication to the Master would effect.

24th. We rose early, and riding twelve miles through the snow, in which we crossed the mountain called the Haldeburg, we stopped at an inn, breakfasted, and then proceeded to Peter Stover's, in Berne. The snow being deep and frozen, and the road not fully broken, the prospect of traveling, in this mountainous country, looked very discouraging. Arriving at the house of a Friend was very pleasant, after being at taverns; and especially so, to find he was willing to take us in a sleigh to Middlebury Monthly Meeting; by which our horses could rest. Enquiry being made by our host, whether we wished to have a meeting appointed, and proposing a small meeting-house near, I told him, as Friends meet in his house to hold their little meeting on first-day, I was willing to sit with them, and such of their near neighbors as they were disposed to invite, in the evening. About six o'clock, they began to collect; and, to our surprise, two sitting-rooms were filled by strangers. A preacher of another profession, who had appointed a meeting in the above-mentioned house, finding but few coming to hear, him, proposed to them to go to Peter Stover's; and they accordingly came. Our religious principles, on the subject of regeneration, Divine worship, preaching and praying, were opened to the people; and they affectionately invited to come to Christ, and take his yoke upon them, and learn of Him.

They were also cautioned against seeking the living among the dead; either in the lifeless forms which man has invented, or in any creaturely exertions, which they can perform in their own time and strength. Public vocal prayer always appears to me a very solemn act, in which I have felt a reluctance to engage; but feeling the spirit of supplication, I yielded to it, and have rarely known sweeter access to the Throne of Grace than on this occasion.

Eleventh month 25th. Attended Middlebury Monthly Meeting; which was quite small. The view of such a remnant convened in that capacity, was disheartening; but it seemed to be my place to endeavor to strengthen Friends in the faithful discharge of their religious duties; that they might hold up a good light to others; and that the ark of the testimony may not fall to the ground amongst them.

Though it appeared improbable, when riding through the heavy snow, that we should be able to attend Coeymans Monthly Meeting, yet we rose very early on fifth-day morning, and Egbert Stover and wife, Smith Upton—who had joined us at the Quarterly Meeting—and myself, got into their sleigh, and Joseph Snowden drove the carriage; and we reached the house of a Friend, near the meeting-house, about an hour before the time. The sensations that spread over my mind in this meeting, indicated the lack of a lively, daily exercise in some present, to experience the work of the soul's salvation to progress, as time was passing away; by which they would be qualified to engage in the Lord's cause, and rightly to manage the concerns of the church. Instead of which, a disposition prevailed to procrastinate, and defer this all-important work to a future day, when their worldly business would admit of laying hold of it; trusting that then it could be entered into, and effected with more convenience, and with dispatch. The warning of the Apostle was revived: “If the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and sinner appear?” and if judgment begin at the house of God, “What shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?” showing that the salvation of the soul was not so light a thing, and so easily accomplished, as some might be persuading themselves. Some appeared to be affected. When we entered on the business of the Monthly Meeting, the representatives appointed to their late Quarterly Meeting reported, that none of them attended; and but one could offer an excuse; which afforded proof of the lack of a lively zeal for the cause of Truth, and the support of the discipline. If those who take part in the affairs of the discipline at home, and make a plain appearance, can lightly disregard their duty, when it may require a little sacrifice of time and labor to perform it, the younger members must imbibe the idea, that the concerns of religious society are of secondary importance to their worldly profits; and thus such unfaithful members may stumble others, and be the means of spreading spiritual death in the camp.

Lodged at Thomas Bedell's; and on Eleventh month 27th, sixth-day morning, rode about thirty-eight miles to little Nine Partners; having crossed the North River at Hudson; and the following morning, reached the residence of our very kind and affectionate friends, Smith and Sarah M. Upton. In being favored to return thus far from this little journey, gratitude and thankfulness to our Heavenly Father, covered my mind; for the preservation of health and our safety from casualty, and for the unmerited extension of the aid of his Holy Spirit, to discharge what appeared to be required duty; though a sense of frailty and unprofitableness as a servant, was felt to appertain to the poor, unworthy creature. But it is a mercy and favor to be able to call Him, Father; and to look up unto Him with humble, sincere desire, that He will still grant wisdom and strength to do the work assigned; and keep us in the way He would have us to go. And I believe, He will keep, by his own power, for the sake of his beloved Son, those who thus rely on Him alone; and desire to be daily humbled, under a conviction of their own helplessness to preserve themselves.

Eleventh month 29th. Being first-day, we attended the meeting at the Creek: and in the afternoon set off in a sleigh, our kind friend Asa Upton accompanying us, for Canaan; a small remnant of Friends residing there, who hold a meeting once or twice a month, with the aid of a committee of Nine Partners Monthly Meeting. Lodged that evening at E. C.'s; and early on second-day morning, set out again; and between twelve and one o'clock, reached the residence of one of the Friends.

In the evening, we held a meeting at a Friend's house, composed of a few members, and several Methodists and others. The people expressed satisfaction with the visit; but to me it was a shallow time; there seemed a necessity to utter many things which presented, but the life-giving virtue, according to my feelings, but sparingly attended. Asa Upton observing me to appear depressed, enquired the cause; and when I told him it was a low time, he replied, it exceeded his expectation so much, he was concluding it was a time of favor. Lodged there; rose before day on third-day morning; returned to our ancient Friend, E. C.'s, where we dined; and after a little opportunity, in which encouragement was offered to trust in the never-failing Helper of his people; who, having been with his children in six troubles, will not forsake them in the seventh; we proceeded towards the Creek. On our way, we stopped half an hour at the mansion of our late honored friend and father in the Truth, Henry Hull, to take leave of his widow; to whom the language of sympathy was extended. We were permitted to unite together in a sense of the continued protection of our Heavenly Father surrounding us, his unworthy, but dependent creatures. Drank tea with A. Upton and wife; and after spending most of the evening, took an affectionate leave; and rejoined our friends S. and S. M. Upton, at their hospitable mansion. The kindness of these beloved Friends, in various ways, has been marked, and esteemed by me as an evidence of the propriety of this little journey; inasmuch as the unity of the brethren and sisterhood, does prove that the Great Head owns a concern, by leading his children to own one another.

Twelfth month 2nd. We parted from our beloved Creek friends with much affection; and having Paul Upton, as guide, we rode twelve miles; and attended the little meeting at Oswego.

Here the stream of sympathy and consolation, was again opened towards the faithful few, who are endeavoring to maintain a public confession of their allegiance to the King of kings; who, we did believe, would sustain and strengthen their hands, as they maintained the Christian warfare; and would grant a crown of life to all that are faithful unto death.

3rd. Proceeded on our way to Salem, in Purchase Quarter.

Twelfth month 4th. We had a meeting at a Friend's house, in the morning; with his family, his son-in-law and daughter, and a few of the neighbors; the principal part of Salem Meeting having joined the ranks of the Separatists. It was a satisfactory opportunity to them and to us. In the afternoon, went to a Friend's, near Croton Valley Meeting-house; and in the evening, the remaining members of that meeting convened at this Friend's house, where they usually hold their meeting for worship.

The necessity of laboring for daily spiritual sustenance, and becoming willing to endure the hardships and privations attendant on this militant state, in order that we may grow in the Divine life, and be qualified for service in the church, were held forth to their view.

5th. Rode over to Amawalk, and attended a meeting appointed there. The condescension and goodness of the Blessed Head of the church were manifest, in furnishing renewed qualification to preach his everlasting gospel of conversion and regeneration; the object whereof is, to fit us for that kingdom into which nothing impure can enter. The disposition which has ever existed in man, to clothe himself with his own righteousness, was brought into view. The prophet Isaiah, under a sense of the degeneracy of the Jews, while they were pluming themselves with their outward observances, declared, “All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.” Our Lord told his hearers, that “Except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter the kingdom of heaven.” They neglected the weightier matters of the law; judgment, mercy and faith; while they paid tithe of mint, and anise, and cummin; these ought they to have done, and not to leave the other undone. It was easy to practice these outward things, without any cross or mortification; and indeed by them, to gain popularity amongst men. Paul told the believers, that it was “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy, He saved us; by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing, of the Holy Ghost; which He shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior.” The Holy Spirit, in the revelations made to John, reproved the church of Laodicea, for trusting to their own righteousness: Because you sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing, and know not that you are wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked; I counsel you to buy of me gold, tried in the fire, that you may be rich; and white raiment, that you may be clothed; and that the shame of your nakedness do not appear; and anoint your eyes with eye salve that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” I felt very low in going into the meeting; and, fearful of moving, when these things opened before me; but at last thought it best to rise, with some introductory remarks on the high value of the Holy Scriptures, given by inspiration, and providentially preserved to us; and while we were justly entertaining such an esteem for them, it was necessary to examine whether our lives and conduct corresponded with the precious precepts and doctrines therein inculcated. It was a solemn opportunity.

The 6th, being first-day, attended the meeting at Peekskill. Here the necessity was enforced of submitting to that baptism and cup of suffering, which our blessed Lord partook of, according to our respective measures, and the dispensations of his wisdom; if we expect to participate in the glory, and honor, and dignity, which appertain to Him and to his cause. Nothing in which man could glory, attended the little service that appeared to be required. Such changes, from one day to another, sometimes try our faith and perseverance; but, I believe, they are essential, to empty the vessel and to cut off all glorying before God.

7th. Had an appointed meeting at Croton, with the few remaining members, and some others. The encouraging declaration of our Lord, that “If two of you shall agree on earth, as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them;” presented to my mind; and led the way to encourage the little remnant, with the belief that their Lord would regard them in their faithful endeavors to serve Him, and to uphold a testimony to his name and goodness; and would minister to their needs, by the blessed influences of his Spirit. An invitation was also held out to the wanderers, to embrace the visitation of Divine love; which seeks to save that which is lost; as exemplified in the lost sheep, and the prodigal. It was a comfortable opportunity; in which I had cause for thankfulness to Him, who opens and shuts, when He pleases. C. U. and wife met us at this meeting, and piloted us that evening to their house, at Chappaqua.

8th. At Chappaqua Meeting, we were again favored with the presence of our Divine Master; qualifying to open the need we have of dispensations of humiliation; by which the earth and the heavens are shaken, so that those things which cannot be shaken, may remain; that we may be preserved from sinking into earthly-mindedness, and through the purging operations of that Word, which is as a fire and a hammer, be prepared to produce those fruits which redound to the glory and honor of our Heavenly Father.

9th. We attended Mamaroueck Monthly Meeting. Here we were led into sympathy with some who had heavy burdens, at times, to bear; and yet felt often as if but little good would result from it. The sufferings and reproaches which the Captain of our salvation endured for us, and the great privations and afflictions our early Friends bore, were alluded to; showing that it is through suffering the truth triumphs; and if He, for our sake, submitted to such treatment, we ought to be willing to partake cheerfully of those afflictions which appertain to the gospel, both for our own sakes, and for the church. On the following day, we rode to see the remnant of a small meeting, called Middlesex; consisting of five females, who meet once or twice a week, for Divine worship, at the residence of Catharine Seely; who has been confined mostly to the bed, eleven years. We had sittings with them; and they were glad of our visit.

Lodged at Charles Field's; and on sixth-day, 11th, had an appointed meeting at Purchase, to our own comfort and the satisfaction of Friends; and on seventh-day, rode to New York, where we put up with Hannah and Lucy Eddy.

On first-day, 13th, attended the morning and afternoon meetings; which were rather relieving opportunities; especially the latter, in which much interest in the welfare of the younger members was felt; on account of the all-engrossing spirit of the world, to which they are exposed in this city of great business. They were affectionately invited to take the yoke of Christ upon them, that they might become crucified to the world, and the world to them; and know those things to be kept under foot, and used as servants and not as masters.

14th. Went to Flushing, where we had an appointed meeting the next day; in which the necessity of living and walking by faith, was treated on; as the path which the righteous of all ages have walked in, and found safety, and witnessed an establishment on the immutable foundation; which will sustain against the storms and trials of time.

16th. We attended the Monthly Meeting of Westbury; in which it appeared needful to stir up those who had known the Lord's hand to be extended for their help in time of extremity; and yet were now in danger of falling into a lethargic state, taking their comfort in the things of this world.

This was the last meeting that I expected to be at; and when it was over, my mind felt at liberty, and peaceful in the prospect of soon rejoining my beloved family at home. Returned to S. P.'s, and lodged. The weather was very cold; the thermometer falling two degrees below zero, that evening. Before ten o'clock, we saw a large column of flame and smoke rising in the direction of New York. When the family rose, at six the following morning, it was still burning, in the same degree; and when we reached the city, the destructive element was unconquered; the firemen exhausted, and the extreme cold rendering the fire engines and hose almost useless. The fire commenced in Wall Street, and extended south-east, destroying a large amount of property.

On fifth-day night, we lodged at Nathan Yail's. Sixth and seventh-day, at Ruth Ely's; and on first-day, Twelfth month 20th, 1835, reached home; having travelled about seventeen hundred miles. We were blessed with health, so as to meet no detention; which is a great favor; and have good cause to acknowledge the kindness and condescension of our Heavenly Father, in strengthening us for the little services, that He required us to perform; and also for the hospitality of our friends throughout the journey.

1836. The Meeting for Sufferings of this Yearly Meeting, having, for a long time, been desirous that some mode might be adopted for spreading the approved works of Friends, more generally amongst the members, now extensively scattered in this country; it was suggested to my brother Thomas and myself, whether we could not undertake the work. After deliberating upon it, and no other Friends appearing to be willing to engage in it, we drew up a proposal, which was submitted to that meeting, and approved; and after some modification and enlargement, under the supervision of the Book Committee, the prospectus was printed, and spread throughout the meetings in the Yearly Meeting. It was not without serious apprehension of many difficulties attending the prosecution of such a labor, that we took the step; but the consideration, that a large number of members were growing up in the Society, who must be unable to procure the approved writings of Friends, owing to their scarcity, induced us to make the attempt; in the hope that we might thereby contribute to their benefit, and to the advancement of the cause of Christ in the earth. Copies of the prospectus were also forwarded to all the Meetings for Sufferings on this continent; and, I believe, approved by them all most of whom issued minutes to that effect.

In the Fifth month, I attended the Yearly Meeting of New York, where several ministers from this and other similar meetings, were also present. The Meeting for Sufferings there, issued a pretty full minute, encouraging its members to take the proposed periodical; containing the journals, etc, of Friends. Much business came before the meeting, which was resulted in harmony; though I thought the desire, on the part of some from the country, to avail themselves of the steamboats, for returning home, induced them to hurry, more than the dignity of such a meeting, and the nature of the business would warrant.

The spirit of the world operating upon the members of our religious Society, to draw them into extensive and hazardous business, produces a very injurious effect upon them. If it banishes the spirit and character of a humble follower of the Truth, a sense of oppression is felt among them, by those who desire above all things, to do the will of their Divine Master; the precious fellowship of the gospel is obstructed, and mourning over their degeneracy, is the clothing of the suffering seed.

Through the forepart of this summer I was much at home. An afflicted child had long been claiming our sympathies and attention. She had now suffered more than three years; was often confined to her bed, and most of the time, unable to move about without help.

Eighth month. Having felt my mind drawn to attend the Yearly Meeting of Ohio, and to visit the meetings composing Red Stone Quarter, I laid the concern before the Monthly Meeting, in the Eighth month, and obtained a minute of its unity. My esteemed friend Henry Cope, having agreed to bear me company, also received a similar minute. Though it was a trial to leave my beloved wife in charge of the family, one of the children having been long confined with disease, yet I was not easy to omit attending to the service which I believed my Divine Master laid upon me. We set out on the 27th, in public conveyance, by railroad and the canal through Pennsylvania to Pittsburg, where we arrived on fourth-day morning, 31st; having had our friends, Elizabeth Coggeshall and companions, fellow passengers. There we hired a stage to take us to Mount Pleasant, which we reached next evening; lodged that night in the village. Dr. Isaac Parker called on us in the morning, and invited us to take lodgings at his house, we were very pleasantly accommodated there, through the week.

On seventh-day morning I attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders, and after the usual business was transacted, felt engaged to draw the attention of Friends to the importance of holding a Yearly Meeting, and the privileges which, as members of this Society, we enjoy. That in order to preserve these privileges, it is necessary properly to estimate them, and to endeavor to keep our respective places in the church; dwelling near to our Divine Lord, and relying wholly upon Him, for ability to per form our duty. Thus we should be instrumental in strengthening one another, and spreading the kingdom of the dear Son of God. The Meeting for Sufferings being held in the afternoon, my companion and I attended it.

On first-day we attended the morning and afternoon meetings at the old house. In the former, it appeared to be my place to hold up the indispensable necessity of dying daily to our own wills and inclinations; that so we may know Christ to live in us, by his Holy Spirit; that being crucified with Him, the life which we now live in the flesh, may be by the faith of the Son of God, who loved us, and gave Himself for us. In our religious assemblings, it is needful to endure patiently the stripping and desertion which He sees proper, that we may be prepared to be filled by Him, with his goodness; and with a qualification to make the offerings He prepares and calls for. A feeling of solemnity spread over us, and His name was secretly praised, who puts forth and goes before.

On second-day commenced the business of the Yearly Meeting. Its sittings were attended with a general quiet, and much unanimity in its decisions. Ministers from North Carolina, Indiana, New York, New England and Philadelphia, were present. Committees were appointed by both meetings to visit the subordinate branches, both the select and those for discipline. The Meeting of Ministers and Elders sat twice in the week.

In the last of these sittings, I adverted to the attempts to lay waste some of the testimonies of our Society, made in former times, by unsettled, discontented members, who were soaring above their places; but who eventually fell away and came to nothing. We had recent evidence of this, in those, who but a few years ago, assailed the peace and order of the Society.

And I believed this would be the end of all who persisted in such work. Though they might soar as among the stars, and build their nests on high, the Lord, in his own time, would bring them down and lay them as in the dust. He would not permit those testimonies, which He entrusted our forefathers with, to be destroyed; nor this people, if they are faithful to Him, to be laid waste, whom He had raised up to hold forth the standard of pure righteousness to the world.

On sixth-day morning the Select Committee was appointed to visit the meetings. Much was said respecting the spirit in which this visit should be made; and when the stream that way subsided, I felt a concern for those who were to be visited; that they might receive it in a proper spirit, and guard against the insinuations which the enemy was watching to infuse into the mind, for the purpose of closing it up, against the sincere concern of their Friends for their help. If any had swerved from the right way, it would be well for them to draw into retirement, and seek the presence of the Searcher of hearts; that they may be favored with a clear view of their condition, and ability to confess their sins unto Him, and witness restoration to the unity of the body; so that its circulation may be witnessed without obstruction.

The numerous subjects which engaged the time of the Yearly Meeting, extended the sittings until seventh-day. Near the close, the language of encouragement was held out to honest Friends, to put their trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, the leader and commander of his people. Trials had ever attended them.

The Apostle admonished one of the churches, that even from amongst themselves, men would arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Friends here would have their trials and difficulties; but those who dwelt under a sense of their inability to preserve themselves, and were endeavoring to maintain their confidence in Him, who has been the refuge of his people, will know his Name to be a strong tower, in the day of trouble; to which they may run and find safety. He who has been with them in many conflicts, will not forsake them in others; but will mercifully condescend to sustain them to the end, and crown them with joy unspeakable and full of glory.

Friends parted with feelings of near affection for each other; thankful for the gracious extension of Divine help, solemnizing them together, and enabling them to transact the concerns of the meeting with decision and harmony.

Chapter VIII

1836—1837

Finishes the visit in Western Pennsylvania—Concern respecting the wrongs of the Colored Races in the United States—Yearly Meeting of 1837—Reflections on a Worldly Spirit and the State of the Country—Second Religious Visit in New England.

Some of our kind friends of Westland and Bedstone, having made arrangements for conveying us into that Quarter, we left Mt. Pleasant on first-day morning; Mildred Ratcliff being in company. Attended Concord Meeting, where my mind was invested with a concern on account of an undue attachment to persons or things; which subjects to the danger of losing that sensibility and discernment which the Truth gives. “Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might; let not the rich man glory in his riches; but let him that glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord, which exercises loving kindness, judgment and righteousness in the earth.”

If we are indulging in inordinate attachment to persons or their gifts, we thereby suffer something to get between us and Him, who only has the right to the possession of our hearts, and by this means our allegiance to the King of kings will be affected. Our greatest wisdom is to know the Lord executing his righteous judgments in us, against everything that stands in competition with his Divine government; and thus we shall experience his loving kindness to preserve us from the snares of our cruel enemy, however subtle and insidious they may be. The meeting closed with supplication for continued help and preservation.

The following night we lodged at Washington, thirty-two miles from Wheeling; and the next day reached John Fisher's, at Westland. In the course of the ride, our friend Mildred Ratcliff related several instructive incidents in her life. Her parents were Baptists, residing in one of the Southern States; and she was educated in that profession, sprinkled when a child, and plunged into water at mature age. At quite an early period of life, her mind was brought under very serious impressions; particularly on account of the condition of the blacks, held in slavery by her father and others. The cruelties to which they were subjected, especially the flogging of females, affected her deeply. When quite a child, her tender sympathies were drawn towards the infant children of the slaves; and though not allowed to mingle with those that occupied the outhouses, called the negro quarters, she would privately visit them, and carry to the little creatures small portions of food, which she had clandestinely procured, to feed them. At first, having rarely seen a white face, they would shun her from fear; but after a few visits, they showed a fondness for her, and would cry after her if she left them without giving them some eatables.

One day after being at a meeting of her own profession, where she was favored with some fresh convictions, she told her father, as they returned home, she believed the blacks ought to have their freedom. Her mind was also clearly convinced of the obligation which Christians were under, to keep to simplicity in their dress; and though her sisters conformed to the fashions of the place, she had her clothing made in a very simple manner, particularly at the time of her marriage; this was at the age of sixteen. Her father gave her a number of slaves on settling her, which she accepted; having got, in some degree from under those early convictions. She was not, however, left in this state,—they were renewed, and she liberated all her slaves. One, however, who had nursed her in infancy, refused to leave, saying to her, you cannot do without me, I have as much liberty as I want, I shall never leave you; and accordingly she remained till death.

The journal of John Woolman falling in her way, she concluded one day to look into it, in order to see “Whether the Quaker could write anything that had any sense in it.” She proceeded but little way before she discovered that the sentiments and experience of that self-denying follower of Christ, corresponded very exactly with the openings of Truth in her own mind, and feeling a strong desire to become further acquainted with it, she read it, at first secretly, and then openly; as she soon became convinced it contained the doctrines of Truth.

This work not only sealed on her mind the duty of manumitting her slaves, in which her patrimony mainly consisted, but prepared the way for uniting herself to the despised Quakers; an event, of which at the time of marriage, though her husband was a member, she had neither the slightest inclination or expectation.

At her request, in the evening, we walked to her house, and, her health being so delicate as frequently to require her to be on the bed, we spent our time mostly in her chamber. Next day being the regular meeting at Westland, to which she belongs, we attended it, some little notice having been spread in the neighborhood. The doctrine of regeneration, by obedience to the Grace of God in the heart, was preached to some who had long slighted its convictions; and the young people were tenderly invited to yield themselves to the visitations of their blessed Savior; who, if they received Him in the way of his appearance to their souls, would tabernacle with them, and become their teacher and preserver from the snares of their unwearied enemy. Mildred Ratcliff added an invitation, to join in with what she believed to he a renewed offer of help from our Heavenly Father.

The next day we were taken by our kind and attentive friend John Fisher, to Pike Run Meeting, held since the separation in the house of David Graves, now in his 84th year. A qualification was here unexpectedly furnished, to set forth the indispensable necessity of watching over, and frequently examining ourselves, that we may not be deceived by the devices of the unwearied and insidious enemy. While we were professing a belief in the Divine authority of the Holy Scriptures, and earnestly recommending their frequent reading, it was needful to put in practice their precepts, and profit by the experiences therein recorded. The things that were written aforetime, were written for our learning; and are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness; and it becomes us to try ourselves by the doctrines we recommend to others. We have there recorded, instances of great men swerving from the right way, through unwatchfulness and disobedience of the Divine command. The Apostle Paul, though a distinguished minister of the Gospel, said: “I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” Here he holds out the possibility of becoming a castaway, and the need of keeping a steadfast watch over ourselves, and experiencing self to be held in subjection. The necessity of submitting to the purging, refining operation, which Christ speaks of, when he compares Himself to the vine and his disciples to the branches, was also brought into view, as one of the means which He uses to preserve his children. Even those who have had large experience of his mercy and of his faithfulness; in clothing them with strength to fulfill his will, must be stripped and prostrated in abasement of soul. All the armor with which they were arrayed, in his cause, seems to be taken off; and scarcely anything left but a humiliating sense of their own weakness and vileness; and sometimes their past sins and follies rise up against them, and make them loathe themselves. These are humbling dispensations; but are nevertheless salutary, and prepare the creature, if it keeps the word of the Lord's patience, to experience a resurrection into newness of life, from this baptism into death.

“If we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection.” “That like as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we also shall walk in newness of life.” And we need not be afraid of being forsaken in this state. He is ever with his children; and as they endeavor to hold fast their love and allegiance to Him, He will keep them in the hollow of his hand; and again restore to them beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning: and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. These views were held out to some present, who were in danger of falling into a superficial state; depending upon former experience, without going again and again into baptism and death. It was a solid opportunity, in which Holy Help was near, to qualify for the faithful discharge of duty; and yet, under a recollection that we are poor creatures, all needing Divine mercy and forbearance.

Ninth month 16th. We had an appointed meeting with Friends, and some others, at Brownsville. I was burdened with a worldly spirit; which, it appeared to me, had overpowered some, even in advanced years, to a very lamentable degree. The importance of experiencing a change, and entering into the vineyard and laboring, though at, the eleventh hour of the day, was seriously pressed upon some; as well as the benefits of such change and its fruits, upon the rising generation round about them. But little relief was obtained, and I left them with the fear, that the cause of Truth was in a suffering state in that place. Dined at D. C.'s; who kindly offered to take us to several of the remaining meetings; and with whom we went that evening to Sandy Hill, seven miles.

Next morning, 17th, set off for Sandy Creek; a small meeting in the edge of Virginia, about twenty-six miles southeast of Uniontown. Notice being given, we attended their first-day meeting; a few Friends, and some strangers; and rode back to a tavern on the United States turnpike. Lodged and returned to Sandy Hill, where a mixed company collected by appointment, at the old meeting-house; the meeting there, having been laid down by Red Stone Monthly Meeting, in consequence of the great negligence of the members in attending it. Neither of these meetings were opportunities of much refreshment to me; but laborious; though some ability was afforded, in the first, to open the principles of Friends, on some points. In the latter, death seemed to have overspread many, who had long neglected their religious duties. To some, who were secretly enquiring, Who shall show us any good? the invitation was held out, to come unto Christ, and take his yoke upon them; and He would help them; though they were surrounded by those who had slighted their own mercies, and were become stumbling-blocks to sincere enquirers.

20th. Had an appointed meeting at Centre; where the life of religion also appeared to be at a low ebb. Some seemed little better than blind watchmen; putting but little restraint on the young people; and some present, it seemed to me, had fallen into a spirit of defiance against religion itself; and were endeavoring to bring others into the same state. The dangerous condition and influence of such persons were plainly held up to view; both, of those who had the form of godliness, yet denied the power thereof; and those who were of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ. The declaration made to the prophet Ezekiel, that if the sword destroyed any, and the watchman failed to give them warning, the blood of such should be required of him, was brought into view; and, as applicable to parents who would not restrain their children, the case of Eli, the high priest; to whom Samuel declared the determination of the Lord, respecting him and his house, because he restrained not his sons in their vileness; the result of which, was the loss of their lives in one day, and the ark of God falling into the hands of the Philistines. Some of these things were brought home closely to individuals present; and though the testimony of Truth was sharp to some, others were tendered, and encouraged to give themselves up into the Lord's hand; that He might prepare them to stand in that place, as witnesses of his power and goodness; and to be instrumental to draw others from the broad way into the way of holiness.

In some of these meetings, the work which appeared to be assigned me, was of such a laborious nature, and so little effect evident, that I was, at times, discouraged; sometimes thought that perhaps I had mistaken my service; and at others, that I possessed little or no qualification for it; and yet I could not perceive that I had done wrong; and therefore endeavored to hold on, in dedication to the Lord's will, and in humble reliance upon Him, for help to fulfill whatever might be my duty.

24th and 25th. Had appointed meetings at Providence and Sewickly; in which Divine kindness was manifested towards me, a poor creature; and for the comforting, strengthening and arousing of individuals, in the meetings. In both there appeared to be a remnant of concerned Friends; to whom the language of encouragement, to keep close to their Lord and Master, was extended; also some, who were in danger of losing what they had once known, and being caught by the stratagems of the enemy, were warned of their danger; as well as those who were settling down at ease. “Such as we sow, such shall we reap. If we sow to the flesh, we shall of the flesh reap corruption; but if we sow to the Spirit, we shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” The certainty of Divine judgment, according to the deeds done in the body, was enforced. We were afterwards told that a person who sat before me, at Sewickly, and who rarely attended Friends' meeting, was a Universalist. He appeared to be wrought upon.

Sewickly meeting finished our visit in this journey; and under a tendering feeling of the condescension and goodness of our Divine Master, thanksgiving for mercies past, and prayer for their continuance, in the various conflicts and close provings, yet to be passed through, were offered to Him; and we parted from our friends with sentiments of near affection, and with fervent desire for our mutual preservation, in our various allotments in the world and in the church.

There are within the limits of this Quarterly Meeting, a number of valuable, well-qualified Friends, who evince a proper concern for the maintenance of our principles and discipline; but the proportion who have fallen into the love of the world, and feel little or no interest in those things, is so great, that, taken together, the body of Friends here, may be said to be in a weak condition. Cases of violation of the discipline are left too long without attention, in some places. The number of members at Sandy Hill is sufficient to make a reputable meeting; but after long labor, they were deprived of their meeting, in consequence of almost total apathy and delinquency. Such an instance I was never before acquainted with; and it was sorrowful, in riding from the meeting-house, to have pointed out the residences of many, either families, or parts of families, belonging to the Society, within its former limits; and who, young and old, were they alive in the Truth, might hold up a noble testimony in that neighborhood. Surely the judgments of the Lord will overtake such as thus turn their back upon his mercies, and the opportunities placed within their reach, to grow in good liking before Him. I felt much for some, on whom the principal weight of the affairs of the Society rests here; and much desired their faithfulness. Though they may feel burdened with so great part of the care of the church, and some lukewarm professors, like the murmuring Israelites, may charge them with taking too much upon themselves, yet I believed it was necessary that they should be diligent and faithful; not regarding the insinuations of the scornful; and they would receive a blessed reward of precious peace; and be the means of guarding the young people from the inroads of looseness and libertinism. The upright example of a few, often exerts a very valuable preserving influence; it is like the salt that prevents corruption, and gives a good savor.

On sixth-day, 23rd, we rode to Pittsburg, in hopes of finding a canal-boat to leave the city in the morning, but were disappointed; and detained at an inn till evening. To fill up the day, we walked through the town and its environs. Were it not for the black appearance, which the smoke of bituminous coal burnt here, gives the city, it would be a very pleasant looking place. The trade which centers here, from the Monongahela, Allegheny, and Ohio Rivers, and the canal and railroad from Philadelphia, makes it a lively business town. It is also a great manufacturing town; particularly in iron and glass; and a large number of steamboats ascend the Ohio, to load and unload at its wharves. During the day, the retrospect of the embassy, just finished, afforded a flow, at times, of as peaceful feeling as I have ever witnessed on such occasions. About 9 o'clock in the evening, 23rd of Ninth month, we took the canal-boat, and reached our beloved homes on third-day, the 27th, in good health. I found my family in their usual health, excepting our afflicted daughter; who had wasted much in my absence, by accumulated disease. But her mind was preserved in much sweetness and calmness. She continued to decline, until her sufferings were terminated by death, on the 13th of Eleventh month, aged eleven years. We all felt the removal of her purified spirit from amongst us, her solidity and example producing a useful effect upon the family.

1837. By appointment of the Yearly Meeting, in company with my friend Benjamin Cooper, I went to Plainfield, New Jersey; and attended their Monthly Meeting, and the Quarterly Meeting of Shrewsbury and Rahway, held there. These meetings have been much reduced by the separation. For the few who have been left to maintain our discipline and testimonies, we felt sincere desires that their hands may be strengthened; and I was enabled to labor among them, to dissuade from the influence of the spirit and fashions of the world, and to draw them into closer fellowship with our Holy Leader; that they might hold up a clearer light among the people, and experience a growth in the blessed Truth amongst themselves. We were brought near to one another, and parted with feelings of mutual love and desire for each other's welfare.

Our last Yearly Meeting having referred the slavery of the blacks in this country, to the consideration of the Meeting for Sufferings, that if way opened for it, it might address the citizens of the United States on the subject, it was regularly brought before the meeting, at its various sittings. It was believed that such an address might be prepared, and circulated with benefit; that the attention of the public mind was much awakened to the importance of the subject; and many of the members of our Society, feeling a deep interest in the abolition of this abominable institution, were joining with others, in such measures, as they judged would conduce to its extirpation; while, as a religious body, we were not, at the present time, taking any active steps in it. From these considerations, and especially on account of the responsibility which our silence increased upon ourselves, some were desirous that the present time might not be suffered to pass unimproved; believing that Friends, might be instrumental in strengthening the hands of those who were sincerely laboring to remove the evil; awakening others who had taken little, or no hold of it; and, at the same time, show our members that the Society was alive to the subject, and still maintained the testimony it has long held, against the oppression of that people. After spending some time in deliberating upon it, in which a large number of the members expressed their unity, a committee was separated to prepare an address; embracing the wrongs inflicted on the Indians, as well as on the slave population, in these United States. An address was accordingly prepared, which, with some alterations, was adopted by the meeting in Fourth Month; and from there carried up to the Yearly Meeting, where it received the sanction of that body.

Our evening meetings closed with the last first-day in the Third month. They were generally held to satisfaction, remarkably quiet and orderly; a good degree of solemnity overspread the assemblies, and it appeared that the desire for their continuance in the winter season was increasing. If the ministers and elders, and active members are preserved in the unity of the Spirit, they will be seasons of harmonious travail for the welfare and preservation, one of another, and for the spreading of the dominion of Truth within our borders. There is a large number of plain young Friends in this city; and those who are placed as overseers of the flock, cannot but feel a warm solicitude for them; that they may give up all to follow Christ, and become standard bearers and advocates in his glorious cause.

Our Yearly Meeting held in the Fourth month was large. Much interest in its concerns was manifested by the younger members, whose deportment was becoming the occasion. We were favored with a good degree of religious weight in our deliberations throughout, which were conducted and resulted in love and harmony. Our friend, John Cox, of Burlington, who is in the eighty-third year of his age, came down on second-day, and joined us on third-day morning. He was very lively and pertinent in his remarks, in application to several subjects brought into view by the Queries and Answers. The number of visitors from other Yearly Meetings was unusually small. The closing sitting was considered by several of the older Friends, to be one of the most solemn that we have had for several years.

Fifth month 1st. Our friend, Joseph Gibbons, who, for many years has been a member and minister in our meeting, died this afternoon, after an illness of several weeks. My wife and myself called the day before his death, to make inquiry after him, and being invited into his room, saw that a great change had taken place. He labored for breath, and could say but a few words at a time. She remarked that the work was finishing, and that she believed he would soon be released from his sufferings.

He added, he believed the Lord would deliver him out of all his troubles; that the wedding garment was nearly completed, and that he would be permitted soon to rejoin his beloved companion, who had recently gone before. Soon after, he said, “Lord, now let your servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen your salvation.” Oh, blessed and glorious conclusion to come to, through the mercies of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. I am a poor, unworthy creature; it is all through mercy, unmerited mercy, unworthy as we are.” He expressed much love for us, and took an affectionate leave, saying, “May the Lord bless and preserve you to the end of the race; to the coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” On taking him by the hand, I said, I trusted it would not be long before he would be released from all his sufferings; he replied, “We must be resigned, and wait the Lord's time.” He departed the next afternoon, in the seventy-fifth year of his age.

Today our Quarterly Meeting convened in the western end of the Arch street house; men and women together. It was a very quiet, solid meeting; and from the sensations which clothed my mind, I thought the change from a separate meeting of the sexes, was advantageous. It felt more like a religious meeting; and I trust will prove a proper step. After the meeting for worship, the women withdrew into the eastern end, to transact their business.

In the Select Meeting, held on seventh-day preceding, the state of things amongst its members, was a little gone into, and the great necessity of Divine wisdom to guide us, that we might not improperly exalt or depress any above or below what the Master appoints, was spoken to.

12th. In the course of my short pilgrimage, being now in the fiftieth year of my age, I have encountered some difficulties, and passed through seasons of deep discouragement on various accounts. On commencing business for myself, I fully believed that my life, and my talents, should be devoted to the service of my Heavenly Father. Though it was necessary to make suitable provision for myself, and for those who might be dependent on me, yet, in my view, this was secondary to the main object of serving Him; and through the aid of his blessed Spirit, taking part in the interests and concerns of his church and people.

Very early I had the promise, that if I devoted myself to his service, I should never lack food or raiment. But though I fully believed the certainty of the promise, and have never since been permitted to doubt its fulfillment; yet when things in the outward have worn a gloomy aspect, and my business was very small, and an increasing family looking to me for their daily supplies, my faith at times has been closely proved. This has had a very humbling effect; and while I have been weaned from the desire after outward things, both riches and temporal enjoyments, it has tended to bring me many times, in a prostrated state of mind, to his footstool, and to lay all before Him, and ask for the continuance of his countenance and mercy towards me, a poor unworthy creature before Him. Herein I have experienced the renewed extendings of his unmerited regard; the load under which my mind had been laboring, was for the present, removed; and ability was received to feel with and for the afflicted, and to hold forth to them the language of consolation, in their secret and bitter conflicts. Under the discipline of the Cross of Christ, I have been convinced that much too great a part of the time, and of the energies of body and mind, are absorbed in the pursuit of worldly things. A great part of mankind miss of the true enjoyment of the provisions of a beneficent Providence, even after they gain them, for lack of living to Him, and not to themselves. They are kept either in a constant hurried frame of mind, confused, or in doubt what to lay hold of to obtain happiness, or they settle down in the love of money; hoarding it, and husbanding it, out of a sordid attachment to it. They are in bonds; unable to enjoy, or to see in what true enjoyment consists. The work of religion is either overlooked, rarely attended to, or postponed to a future day, when they think it will suit their inclination and convenience.

I am convinced that it is in our power, as we live in obedience to the Divine will, to find time for all our duties, social and religious. Even the poor, with common industry; as their desires and expenses are circumscribed by the Divine will, may, through his blessing, procure sufficient food and raiment; and when it is proper to leave their outward business, in order to perform their religious duties, they may confide in his superintending providence over their affairs, and their families, so that they shall not suffer from their faithfulness. How simple, and how few are the needs of such! They do not envy the rich, nor covet their possessions.

“Their delight is in the law of the Lord, and therein they meditate day and night.” They eat their bread with gladness and singleness of heart. Their labors and their rest are sweet; and as they seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof, all those things necessary to their accommodation, will be added. Here the devoted follower of Christ experiences the right use of his time and talents; and the true enjoyment of the various blessings which his Heavenly Father provides, and bestows upon him. As time and the energies of body and mind are wasting away, he is growing in grace, and in the knowledge of those things which pertain to life and salvation; he is laying up treasure in heaven, where his heart centers; and he becomes more and more established upon that Rock, against which death, hell, and the grave, cannot prevail.

Our country has now been at peace with other nations for several years—the channels of trade, both at home and with foreign nations, have been open, and the inhabitants have very extensively engaged in it. The poor colored population, held in bonds in this land, have been bought and sold, and taken to the South and Southwest, where they have been driven and worked very hard. The profits of their labor have whetted the appetite of the slave-holder for enlarging his operations; and the disposition to secure himself against the possibility of losing his bondmen through the growing opposition to the system in the North, has strengthened, and his excitability increased. Pride and corruption have risen to a great height.

Not only towards the poor slaves have injustice and cruelty been practiced, but the poor Indians in the Southern States have felt their dreadful effects, in a very sorrowful manner. In violation of treaties, and of the solemn requisitions of the precepts of Christ, they have been abused; their situation on their own lands rendered uncertain and dangerous; and they at last compelled to migrate into uncultivated regions; where, it is said, not a few have perished from want. While the citizens of these United States have been living in abundance, those men, the descendants of Africa, and the natives, once the owners of the country, have been subjected to a life of rigor and distress, and their appeals disregarded. Can it be a matter of wonder, if the judgments of the Almighty should overtake a people, guilty of such oppression and injustice? Last year the crops of grain, particularly of wheat and rye, fell much short of the usual product, and at the present juncture the trade of the country has been suddenly arrested; many wealthy merchants have failed; and distress and embarrassment have overspread the community. It has fallen very heavily upon the South. Their produce has declined nearly one half in price, and it is said that some have been compelled to sell part of their slaves, to procure corn to subsist the rest. The Lord is slow to anger, and of great compassion; but He cannot be partial; his judgments will not always sleep. If the hand of violence continues to rest upon the helpless and unoffending, we shall experience them to be again and again poured out upon us.

15th. A Convention to revise and prepare a constitution for the State of Pennsylvania, being now in session, such members of the Meeting for Sufferings as could be conveniently notified, met this afternoon to consider whether the cause of Truth could be promoted, by an application to that body to alter the article on the militia, so as to exonerate Friends, and all other conscientious persons, from training or serving in war, or paying any fine for declining to do so. Four Friends were selected to draft a memorial to that body on the occasion.

19th. Sixteen members of the Meeting for Sufferings met today to consider the essay of a memorial, prepared to be laid before the Convention. The subject was renewedly deliberated on; and after some time spent in examining the document, it was adopted; and three Friends were appointed to take it to Harrisburg.

25th. Today I laid before the Monthly Meeting a prospect, with which my mind has been impressed for some time, to attend the New England Yearly Meeting, and visit a few meetings in the neighborhood of Newport; which I had in view when in that country a few years ago. The concern was owned, and a minute granted.

31st. After a silence of nearly six months, in our own meeting, it appeared to be my place this morning, to warn some who were growing lukewarm, and gradually swerving from the strait and narrow way; of the loss they were sustaining, and the danger to which they are exposed. Many are called, but few are chosen. Though they may at first obey the call; yet through unwatchfulness, and an unwillingness to suffer the seed sown in their hearts to take deep root, and spread there; like those comparable to stony places; when trial overtakes them, the plant of renown withers, and they never bring forth fruit to the praise of the heavenly Husbandman.

Sixth month 8th. I set off, accompanied by my friend, Joseph Snowdon, to attend the Yearly Meeting on Rhode Island, and a few meetings belonging to it. We got into New York about two o'clock; left it at five o'clock; and at six on the following morning, found ourselves entering Newport harbor. On landing, we rode out to David Buffum's.

Seventh-day morning, the 10th, went to Portsmouth, and attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders; which, through the most of it, was a heavy time. The clerk remarked, just before concluding the meeting, that things had not passed on as currently as was usual; and wished every one to search for the obstruction. I had some serious feelings, and made some remarks in relation to the importance of holding a Yearly Meeting; and the necessity of every one keeping their respective places, so as to act under Divine direction. It was no uncommon thing to feel barren, and destitute of Divine good, at the commencement of such meetings; and if we made a right use of such dispensations, their proper effect would be to drive us to the Master's feet; there to wait for his arising, to qualify for his work; and when He puts forth his sheep He will go before them.

We must be emptied before we are prepared to be filled; and as we are engaged to keep our habitations in the Truth, we shall, in his time, find that there is bread enough in his house, and to spare. Several Friends spoke a little afterward, and we were in some degree quickened together. Many of the members present, whom I had seen in the course of my journey in the Eastern States, a few years ago, expressed their satisfaction in now seeing me with them, and the feeling was reciprocal. In the afternoon attended the Meeting for Sufferings.

11th. We stayed at Portsmouth, and attended the morning meeting. It was composed of many persons not of our profession, and a pretty large collection of Friends. Wm. Kenard, of Ohio, spoke some time very suitably; and my mind being brought under exercise, I believed it right to hold up to view the coincidence between the prophetic testimonies of the Psalmist and Isaiah, and that of our blessed Lord himself; as also of the Apostle Peter respecting Him; that He is the only way by which we can come to the Father, and be made partakers of salvation. I was concerned to show how we were to become true believers in Christ, by obedience; by receiving Him in his coming into our hearts; and thus being true witnesses of his power and goodness, in delivering us from the bondage of corruption, and bringing us into the enjoyment of the liberty of his sons. The young people were affectionately invited to enlist under his banner; that they might receive the blessings which He has in store for them. The awful consequences of unbelief, and a willful denial of the Lord Jesus, were brought into view; also the wretched condition of him whose only hope is in unbelief, and in destroying the authority of the holy Scriptures.

They were solemnly cautioned against this dark spirit, and invited openly to confess the Lord Jesus Christ before men, in their lives and conduct.

In the afternoon we came to Newport, and attended a very large meeting there. Several Friends bore testimony to the Truth; and towards the close it was impressed on me, to show that religion is not a speculative thing, but a real, heartfelt work. The prophet Malachi compared the dispensation, to be afterwards introduced, to the burning of an oven. John, the forerunner, said, that the axe was laid to the root of the trees, and every tree that brought not forth good fruit, was to be hewn down, and cast into the fire. He that sent him to baptize, said, “Upon whom you shall see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is He which baptizes with the Holy Ghost.” Whose fan is in his hand, and He shall thoroughly purge his floor, and will gather the wheat into his garner; but the chaff He will burn with fire unquenchable.” Here the operation of Christ's religion is, in three places, compared to fire. From there I was led to describe some of its effects, in rooting out and destroying every evil plant and fruit in us; and thereby preparing the soul to receive Christ, and his kingdom and government. Where this is experienced, love prevails; first to our heavenly Father, and then towards one another, and all mankind. Here, wars and confusion are brought to an end; and all such, being baptized by one Spirit into one body, become united together in spreading the kingdom of the Messiah; whose design and work it is, that it may extend from sea to sea, and from the river to the ends of the earth.

12th, 13th and 14th. Attended the several sittings of the Yearly Meeting; in which way opened to hold forth the ground on which our religious Society was gathered; that of entire dependence upon the Minister of the Sanctuary, in all its religious assemblies. The importance of rightly maintaining our discipline, was also adverted to; as a means of preservation to the flock; and a source of instruction and of useful exercise of the gifts and faculties bestowed upon us. The young people were called upon to dedicate themselves to his service; and as they were properly concerned, they would be benefitted by the example and wisdom of their elders; and feel their hearts knit to one another, and to their more advanced brethren, as that of Jonathan and David were, in the work of the Lord, in their day.

The practice, which has obtained in a few places, of opening Friends' meeting-houses, for other purposes than those of the concerns of our Society, having rested much with me, I mentioned it at the close of the afternoon meeting, on third-clay, for the consideration of Friends, in their different localities. It was taken up by the meeting; and the practice disapproved; and the clerk directed to prepare a minute on the occasion, to go to the subordinate meetings; which was adopted the following afternoon.

The Yearly Meeting concluded, with one sitting, on sixth-day; having been enabled, through Divine kindness, to conduct and result its business in much harmony. When such a feeling prevails, it tends to unite Friends of the same meeting to each other, and also to their visitors, in stronger fellowship; by which we may be qualified more availingly to advance the cause in which we all profess to be engaged; sectional feeling and prejudices, if they exist, come to be softened down; and the way opened to benefit, and be benefitted by, one another. However great the attainments of any may be, if they keep in a proper disposition, they will find something to instruct and enlighten them, in almost all places; and such a state of mind is peculiarly needful, to fit us to impart instruction to others. A due regard for the peculiar habits and views of those we visit; but without giving away the truth and the judgment of Truth; will often render it more practicable, to convey in a suitable way, our own sentiments, and availingly impress them upon others.

On the afternoon of sixth-day, we went by steamboat to Providence; attended their meeting for worship on first-day morning; and were at the boarding-school in the afternoon; in both which, Divine help was granted to preach the gospel. We sat an hour and a half, before the way opened for me to say anything; but afterwards a qualification was granted, to enforce the importance of co-operating with the means which Divine mercy has provided, to enable man to work out the salvation of the soul. This is very simple in its requisitions; but must, nevertheless, be accepted and obeyed; if it is not, we shall be rejected and left to ourselves. The expressions were brought into view, “They have Moses and the prophets, let them hear them;” “If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rose from the dead.” Naaman, the Syrian, was offended at the simplicity of the means pointed out for his cure; but when he yielded, it effected the object, and his flesh returned as that of a little child. It was a pretty open time.

In the afternoon, the protection of our Heavenly Father, extended to Jacob and Joseph, when separated from parental care, was held up to the view of the children, at the boarding-school; and their caretakers were encouraged to apply for that wisdom which is derived from above, to enable them to go in and out rightly before their interesting charge; and so to govern them, as to bring them to Christ; that they might be prepared, as good ground, to receive the precious seed of the kingdom in their hearts.

19th. We had an appointed meeting at Cranston in the morning, and one at Greenwich in the afternoon. They were both seasons of Divine favor. In the latter, the caution of the Apostle, to “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit,” etc, was impressed on the audience; and the danger of a captious, cavilling spirit pointed out; and the visited souls of little experience, cautioned against talking away religious convictions and impressions, by which they would suffer loss; and to beware of skeptical persons, who would watch to betray them, and turn them aside from the truths of the gospel.

We went home with our friend T. H., where we passed the evening and following morning, very agreeably, the weather proving rainy. Here we were furnished with a chaise, and piloted to Hopkinton; where we had an appointed meeting in the morning (21st;) and one in the afternoon at Richmond; both of them rather trying; though in the latter part of the first, Truth rose into dominion, after a drowsy, lethargic spirit was exposed and reproved.

On the 22nd, attended Towerhill Meeting, and on the 23rd, had an appointed meeting on Canonicut Island. The first was a very laborious meeting; the spirit of the world having gained such ascendency in some, that they appeared to be almost swallowed up by their various pursuits; so as to give little or no time to the great work of salvation. Such, occasion much painful feeling to those who visit them in the love of the gospel; and block up the way for the stream of comfort and consolation, to flow to the weary, yet pursuing pilgrim.

After dining with our friends J. and M. R., who reside on Point Judith, we walked down to the seaside to view a large stone wharf, which a company were building for a steamboat landing. It was pleasant once more to visit the house of these Friends, who accompanied me in 1823, from the Yearly Meeting at Newport, to Canonicut; where I held my first appointed meeting.

Their son kindly conveyed us, after taking tea, to the house of a Friend, residing about a mile from the ferry; and in the morning, we had a pleasant passage back to the Island; the meeting was pretty satisfactory. We dined at J. G.'s; his sister Anne, a minister, is in her eighty-fifth year. She seemed to be in a humble, confiding state of mind; expressing thankfulness that her Heavenly Father had granted her the gift of his Holy Spirit; which had been her support under many trials, and was her comforter in the decline of bodily and mental strength.

In the afternoon we took steamboat at Newport for New York; and on the following morning, landed and went to our friends T. and H. Eddy's. On first-day, 25th, attended the morning and afternoon meetings. In the first, Truth opened the way to set forth the necessity of faith in God; without which it is impossible to please Him; that faith which gives victory over our corrupt propensities, and through which we are enabled to bring forth the fruits of the Holy Spirit; for as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works, is dead also. The importance of coming to realize the blessings of the Gospel of Christ; in which we profess to be true believers; not contenting ourselves in a mere belief and profession, were enforced, under feelings of love, and sincere desire for those present; that thus they might be preachers of righteousness in life and conversation; and lights to others, in the midst of a worldly minded and dissipated people. It was a time of renewed favor; and prayer was offered up for the feeble-minded and fearful, yet sincere disciples of the Lord Jesus; that He would lift up his Holy Spirit, as a standard against Satan, in his assaults upon them; and strengthen them to acknowledge, in all their ways, the right of the dear Son of God to set up his kingdom, and rule in the hearts of all mankind.

Our beloved and endeared friend Elizabeth Coggeshall, having received a severe injury from a fall, a few days before we reached the city; on going to see her, she expressed much thankfulness that her life was not taken in that manner; and that not even a bone was broken. Yet in a retrospect of the many trials which, in the course of her life, had fallen to her lot, she was much affected. I endeavored to comfort her with the fact, that in the midst of all her deep afflictions, she had endeavored to show forth the efficacy of the religion of the Lord Jesus; and in the end, as she persevered, all would be well with her. She was a strength to her friends in the consistent example which she set, by her meekness and cheerfulness under affliction. She expressed her fellowship with me in the bonds of the gospel; which was encouraging, coming from one who had ministered to me when I was an apprentice, and by her very affectionate notice, not only endeared herself, but the Truth she preached, and invited others to.

Friends showed us much kind attention in this city, though our stay was short. We left them on second-day morning, and reached home that afternoon, with peaceful and cheerful minds; under a hope that the cause of Christ had not suffered by us and that He had condescended to open the way, and go before, furnishing with matter for the states of the people, according to his Divine appointment.

Chapter IX

1837—1838

Memorial to a Convention—Visits to Neighboring Meetings—Abington, Salem and Burlington Quarterly Meetings—Concern of the Meeting for Sufferings on account of the Introduction of Unsound Doctrines—Concord Quarterly Meeting—Religious Visit within Haddonfield and Burlington Quarterly Meetings.

Seventh month 1st. Several days of this week, I was engaged, with the other members of the Book Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, in reading and examining the Journal of William Savery, as compiled by my beloved and aged father, now in his seventy-ninth year. He had been employed, at different times, within the last three years, in transcribing and arranging the memoranda of that excellent minister of the Gospel, and having accomplished the undertaking, it was submitted to this committee.

10th. A Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, appointed to present to the State Convention, a memorial relative to the clause requiring military service, or a fine, went to Harrisburg this day; had conversation with a few members in the evening, and the following morning it was presented and directed to be printed. In conversing with several of the members, we found a number who were disposed to sustain the views of Friends, and to make such alteration as, they hoped, would be a relief.

We pressed upon them the propriety of securing the liberty of conscience unmolested, and free from the imposition of any penalty. Some were fearful if they attempted a direct exemption of such conscientious persons, they would be defeated; but by striking out those words which were inserted to relieve them, and leave the subject altogether to the Legislature; with the declaration contained in the Bill of Rights, that no human power shall in any case whatever, interfere with the right of conscience, Friends might be effectually relieved; at least in time of peace. The delegates appeared much worn with constant application; and having decided to adjourn, they were too unsettled to afford so favorable an opportunity for impressing our views upon them, as at an earlier period of the session.

We were, however, better satisfied in going, and doing what we could, than to defer it longer. Returned home on the 12th.

15th. My wife and myself went up this afternoon to the residence of our beloved friends Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve, at Upper Evesham, with whom we have had a very agreeable acquaintance and interaction for several years. They are elders, who are worthy of double honor, for their integrity and love to the cause of Truth, and their faithfulness in its defense at the hour of close trial, when many deserted it, and brought all the strength they could to bear against it. Judicious in their notice of ministers, they neither shrink from giving counsel and admonition when it appears needful, nor from administering encouragement to those who are weary, to occupy their gifts to the honor of the great Giver, and to their own and the church's comfort. In their lives and conversation they are examples to the flock. Shunning parsimoniousness or ostentation, they use this world without abusing it; and at their hospitable mansion the poor meet with cheerful relief, and the traveler and friendly visitor an agreeable retreat. The enjoyments in the social circle of their intimate friends, are heightened by the ease and freedom with which they entertain them, and the consciousness of their wishes to render their house and society a source of pleasure, as they are the means of instruction and real comfort.

They have had their share of affliction; but endeavoring to wash and anoint, they have shown the power and excellency of true religion, in supporting through it; and enabling them to animate and strengthen others with the saving strength with which they were mercifully sustained. May they go down to the grave in peace, having the full assurance of hope, that He whom they have served, will accompany in the valley of the shadow of death, and graciously confess them as his own; giving them an inheritance amongst them that are sanctified, incorruptible, undefiled, and that cannot fade away.

We attended the meeting to which they belong, on first-day, and had to sound the alarm to those that are at ease in Zion who are in danger of contenting themselves with their outward comforts, as being rich and full, and having need of nothing. A word of counsel and warning was also communicated to some, who had made some straight steps and entered into covenant, but were in danger of losing their zeal, and becoming lukewarm, and turning back to their former delights. My beloved wife was favored to intercede for such, and for those who had few outward helps on their spiritual journey; and that all of us may be favored with the choicest of blessings, preservation to the end.

Seventh month 30th. My wife and I attended Abington Meeting. She had a little to communicate; but on the whole, it was an exercising meeting. Dined with Margaret Shoemaker, the widow of our late beloved friend Charles Shoemaker, deceased a few weeks since. He was a man endowed with a good understanding; and through the power of Divine Grace, he had experienced a change of heart; so that though he was possessed of an extensive knowledge of men and things, he was clothed with the humility and gentleness of the Christian. His conversation was instructive and interesting; and his kind and affable manners rendered his society very agreeable to his friends. There was a dignity in his deportment, and a shrewdness and clearness in his observations, which commanded respect, while they attracted the affection of his younger friends.

The Monthly Meeting occurring on the 31st, we attended it; and the way opened to hold forth the efficacy of true faith in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ; and the necessity of keeping it steadfastly unto the end; that so we might fight the good fight, and finish our course with joy, in the prospect of receiving the crown of righteousness, which is laid up for all that love Him with sincerity. The visitations of heavenly love in early life, and the advantage of obeying the Divine voice, as Samuel did, were pressed upon the young people. It was a tendering time to many of them; and my dear wife was favored to petition the Father of mercies, on behalf of the youth, the strong men, and the fathers and mothers, who had held forth a hand of help and encouragement to others; but who, as they drew near the close of their day, were assailed with the buffetings of Satan; and sometimes with fears lest they should not, at last, find that resting place and blessed reward they longed for. We returned home in the evening, satisfied that we had made the visit.

Eighth month 7th. Our Quarterly Meeting was held this day; and, on the whole, was a comfortable meeting. I think we were helped and strengthened.

10th. Today I attended the Quarterly Meeting of Abington, held at Germantown. It appeared to me, that more willingness was needful among us, to partake of the cup and baptism which our Lord partook of; that we might dwell with the seed, which is under suffering in various ways. Were we daily preserved here, we should become more quick of understanding in his fear; and receive qualification from Him for his service in the church. There is danger of being wise in the letter, and remaining on the surface; without a deep, inward acquaintance with the teachings of the Holy Spirit in our own hearts.

17th. I went to Salem Quarterly Meeting, held at Woodbury. After Hinchman Haines and Rebecca Hubbs had borne testimonies, I was engaged to hold forth the importance of faithfulness in little things. As our growth in the Truth was by slow gradations, so he that despised the day of small things, would fall by little and little. The departure of such from the straight and narrow way, as well as from the entrance into it, was from a small beginning; and if we left it, though we might think we kept much in the same course, yet every step took us further and further from it. Little things were often an indication that some were losing that sincere love to the Truth, and fervent desire to walk in it, which they had once felt. It might be in some small departures in dress, language or manners, from the simplicity of the Cross, which their friends would be painfully affected with; though they might not at once disclose to them, the sorrow and exercise which it occasioned them. The eye which had been closed, would be opened to look upon temptation; and that eye which the Lord had anointed and opened to see, in measure, the beauty and excellency of the Truth, would become dim; and they would not be able to see things in the true light, as they had once seen them. Their judgment would be clouded; and the way opened for the tempter to gain further advantages; and having departed from the path cast up for the Lord's children to walk in, they could not foresee where they might be permitted to wander, or into what temptation they might fall. Warning and invitation were extended to the youth; and the language of encouragement to the honest-hearted travelers, who might, in this day of stripping, be like one of a family and two of a tribe; mourning over the desolations of Zion.

28th. My wife and myself went to Burlington, to attend the Quarterly Meeting. Some ability was furnished to labor amongst them, particularly in the meeting held on third-day. It appeared to be my place to hold up the glory of the Gospel dispensation; which consists in the universal outpouring of the Lord's Spirit on all flesh, agreeably to the prophecy of Joel, and the revelations made to John the beloved apostle; when he saw the pure river of the water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb; and the universal invitation to partake of it, in this language: “The Spirit and the bride say, come: and let him that hears say, come: and let him that is athirst come; and whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” The necessity of obedience to the early manifestations of this Divine Spirit, which, as it is received and obeyed, becomes as a well of living water to the thirsty soul; the gradations by which the babes in Christ witness a growth to the state of young men and strong men in Him, and through mercy, if they persevere, become established as pillars in the Lord's house, where the streams of that river “make glad the city of God, the holy places of the tabernacle of the Most High,” were opened and enforced, under the feeling and authority of Divine love. Near the close, the condition of one or more, who had long resisted the strivings of this Spirit, and might be in danger of hearing the awful sentence, “Let him that is filthy be filthy still,” was closely spoken to, and encouraged to lay hold of the renewed offers of Holy Help. My beloved wife closed the meeting with reverent, fervent prayer; in which the last state was feelingly included; also the dear children, the lambs of the fold; the young and strong; and those whose earthly tabernacles were tottering, but who had endeavored to serve the Lord in their generation. It was a time of renewed favor, for which we humbly desired to ascribe praise, and thanksgiving, and gratitude to our Heavenly Father. We returned home next morning.

Ninth month 5th. Went to West-town Boarding School, where the committee met on the 6th. We found the concerns of the institution in their usual condition. The difficulty of obtaining teachers, especially men of proper age, forms an obstacle in the advancement of the interests of that seminary.

14th. We attended Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, in which my wife had good service. In that for ministers and elders, I felt it impressed on me to revive the importance of keeping our places in the Truth. That however poor and stripped we may be; whether despised and rejected of men; if our life is preserved; if we are deriving our strength from the true Vine, all else will be unimportant. It is only as we keep here, that we shall be made quick of understanding, to detect the wiles of the enemy; who is ever watching to ensnare, even those who have known the voice of the true Shepherd.

15th. In the Meeting for Sufferings held today, the attention of Friends was called to the changes which some were attempting to introduce in the doctrines held by the Society. These innovations are principally directed against the spiritual views which Friends have always taken of the Christian religion, and the universal love of God to all mankind; in providing the means for their salvation; whether possessed of the Holy Scriptures or not. Such sentiments spread, over the Society by publications, might have the effect to alter materially the principles of the members, if they were permitted to pass without correction. The subject made a serious impression on many minds; and several expressed opinions in unison with those at first imparted. One or two, however, seemed to be ignorant of what was alluded to; and hoped that private labor might be extended, where it was known that such views were held and propagated. Our only hope of preservation is in the goodness and infallible guidance of the Shepherd of the sheep, who can open a way for his dependent, humble followers, where at times there appears to be none.

Tenth month. My wife and myself having long had a prospect of making a visit among our friends at Salem and Greenwich, N. J., we attended their Monthly Meetings in this month; in both of which we had religious service. It appeared that there are a few of the younger and middle-aged members, who are concerned for the cause of Truth, and desirous to be found in their right places. Encouragement was held out to these, to be faithful in their allotments; that they may obtain the reward, and become instrumental in helping others in the straight and narrow way. We returned home with peaceful feelings, and glad that we had made the visit.

28th. Our first-day evening meeting for worship for Friends of all the Monthly Meetings in the city, was opened. This concern was not as animating to some of us, as at previous seasons; though we could not feel easy to discourage the holding of the meeting. It was opened in an orderly, becoming manner; and my beloved companion appeared in solemn, tendering supplication.

Eleventh month 6th. Was held our Quarterly Meeting. The importance of having our dependence individually placed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and not on one another, was enforced. Many were concluding that but little was doing by the Society; and one reason is, that we may be looking to man, instead of waiting on the Lord, to know Him to be in the midst, apportioning to every one his several duty and work in the church. He is represented in the Scriptures as a jealous God; jealous of his honor and glory; which He will not give to another, nor his praise to graven images. It is, therefore, no marvel that gifts are not dispensed as they have been, while we are looking up to man and honoring him, instead of the Lord of life and glory.

Were we all gathered to the place of true waiting, incense, kindled by fire from Him, upon the altar of the heart, would ascend, and He would condescend to smell a pleasant savor in our assemblies. Gifts, we might hope, would be bestowed, and babes in Christ be engaged to lisp forth his praise; and thus an army would be raised to display the banner of the Prince of Peace. It was thought to be a solid, comfortable meeting.

18th. This afternoon my wife and myself took the steamboat for Wilmington; and attended the meeting there, on first-day. The floor was pretty well covered, both morning and afternoon. There seemed to be those who were relying too much on external performances; without coming sufficiently to the inward work of religion and experiencing the regenerating power of the Holy Spirit. Christ was preached to them, as the way, the truth and the life. The Holy Scriptures, in which we are true believers, abundantly testify of Him; but while many exalt these invaluable records, they do not, as He declared to the Jews, come to Him that they might have life. As the natural life is of more importance than the food which sustains it, and the body than the raiment with which it is clothed, so the life and substance of religion are more important than the external show and profession of it. We may have the latter without the former; but whenever the life and power of religion prevail, they will regulate both the heart and the outside, or practical performance of our religious and social duties. All were invited to press after this inward knowledge of Christ, and his cleansing baptism; and those who had kept their ground in time of trial, were encouraged to maintain their reliance on the same power which had heretofore sustained them.

20th. Second-day morning. Edward Tatnall took us to Concord, where we attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders; and endeavored to promote watchfulness, and the faithful occupancy of their gifts.

21st. The Meeting for Worship and Discipline, in the forepart, was a time of poverty, and inward struggle for the arising of Divine life; and towards the period for entering on the business, it appeared right to hold forth the injunction of the Apostle, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but yet made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, etc.” Submission to his humbling power, and a willingness to become of no reputation amongst men, that we might be prepared for his use, and experience preservation, were tenderly enforced. Those who were enduring these refining processes, were encouraged to hold fast the faith and patience of the saints; and in due time they would witness Him to return to them, with healing in his wings, and receive renewed ability to engage in his work. He wounds to heal, and kills but to make alive again. The dear young people were affectionately and earnestly invited to take the yoke of Christ upon them; and, forsaking those things which prevented their entrance into the path which He casts up, which the vulture's eye has not seen, nor the lion's whelp trodden in; to come and join themselves to those, who, above all things, were desirous of loving and serving Him. My beloved wife closed the meeting, with fervent prayer for the various states which had been spoken to. In the second meeting, David Cope was earnestly engaged to stir up the young men to a faithful, diligent discharge of the duty of public worship, and the attendance of all our religious meetings. We rode, in the afternoon, to our brother Joseph Rhoads' at Marple.

23rd. We attended their meeting at Springfield; in which I felt constrained to speak on the example of our blessed Savior, “Who, when He was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered He threatened not, but committed himself to Him that judges righteously:” from which, the virtue of Christian forbearance and endurance was inculcated Several points opened respecting his character and offices, and the efficacy of his blood, shed for the forgiveness of sins.

Twelfth month. Our evening meeting on first-day, the 10th, was quiet, but rather a low time. A lack of a true harmonious labor in the one great cause, and indifference respecting the object of church fellowship, will produce weakness; and we shall suffer loss, both individually and as a society, in the life and virtue of religion. I am more and more convinced that all our fresh springs, both of the quickening power, and the qualification for usefulness, are in our blessed and holy Head. When He withdraws, we cannot availingly act for Him, or for ourselves, and the people. I have felt much more of my own weakness, for some time past, than anything like ability for the Lord's work. If it has but the effect, to fix the determination to refrain from everything which He disapproves, and to redeem from mere earthly enjoyments, the suffering attending it, will be well endured.

16th. Our Meeting for Sufferings, held yesterday, was unusually large. The subject of a more extensive dissemination of Friends' approved writings was brought again before it, by a report from the Book Committee; which proposed the establishment of an office for their sale and distribution; and that books written for the use of schools, and for the instruction of children, should be prepared; some to be historical, some biographical, and some didactic; the latter taken from the writings of Friends, and illustrative of their principles and testimonies.

30th. In conversation last evening with my beloved father, he said that in the course of his experience, he had remarked, that those Friends who manifested a disposition to palliate the offenses of those who had broken the discipline, generally lost ground in a religious sense; and those whom they were disposed to screen, rarely came to anything in the church; and when such fell away, they were more severe against the unfaithful ones, than against those, who, in the uprightness of their hearts, could not compromise the cause of Truth, but stood steadfast in its support, against wrong things. He was not in favor of a rigid administration of the discipline; but he believed that where it was kept to, in a disposition to restore, and when that failed to produce the effect, to keep to the judgment of Truth; it would always be found in the end, best for the meeting and for the offender.

1838, First month 3rd. Having been liberated by our late Monthly Meeting, to visit the Meetings of Haddonfield Quarter, and some in Burlington, and my friend, Henry Warrington, having agreed to take me in his carriage, we met at the ferry and went this evening to his house. Attended their meeting at Westfield, in silence; next day, the Monthly Meeting of Evesham; where the Master qualified to call upon Friends to come into, and maintain inward, daily watchfulness unto prayer, that they may witness preservation from undue attachment to the things of this world, and by a growth in the Truth, become more and more prepared to advance its cause; and finally to receive the end of our faith, even the salvation of the soul. It was a season of impressive solemnity. In the afternoon, we rode over to the hospitable dwelling of our beloved and honored friends, Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve. They received us with the wonted kindness which they have shown to me for several years. We attended the Monthly Meeting of Upper Evesham; to which a large number of young Friends belong, whose appearance indicates a respect for our profession; and I trust, many of them, are at times, sincerely desirous for their own improvement. May they be preserved from the snares which Satan prepares, for those who are surrounded with the possessions and comforts of this world.

7th. Attended Cropwell meeting; it being first-day, and the weather mild and fine, a large company collected. It was a great trial to me to be obliged to dwell so much upon the dangers of being engrossed with earthly pursuits; but my mind was greatly burdened with a sense of the earnest pursuit of many after the increase of their worldly interests. To be diligent in business, that we may provide properly for those who are dependent upon us, is a duty; but it should always be pursued with reference to the blessing of our Heavenly Father; in seeking which, all worldly acquirement would be regarded as of minor and temporary importance.

After a season of painful labor, Truth rose into some dominion and tendered the spirits of many; and the meeting closed with thanksgiving and prayer to our Heavenly Father, for the present favor, and for the extension of his visitations to those immersed in the cares of the world; and to the young people; that they might be gathered to the teaching and guidance of the Shepherd and Bishop of Souls. We dined and lodged at Joseph Evans'; and a number of young Friends being there, after reading a few chapters in the Bible, in the evening, the way opened to renew the call to them, to lives of dedication, and steadfast walking in the Truth. Sarah Hillman, who was there, followed in prayer, that the word spoken that day might be blessed, and have due place in the hearts of those to whom it was sent.

On second-day morning, the 8th, we attended Haddonfield Monthly Meeting; and the next day, Chester Monthly Meeting, at Moorestown. In the latter, ability was afforded to show the importance of renewed baptisms, to keep the branches alive and vigorous in the Truth; and to enable them to bring forth fruit, to the praise of the Great Husbandman. Through ease and negligence, we may fall into a formal way of performing our religious duties, and lose that heartfelt concern which we once experienced, and under which a growth was known. It is not because we are once in grace, that we shall be always so. “If you abide in me,” said Christ, “and my words abide in you, you shall ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you.” Again, “He that abides in me and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing.” The tendering power of Truth accompanied; and under it a lively interest was felt for Friends, that they might really witness the baptizing power of the Holy Spirit, to purge away all inordinate attachment to the world; and unite them together in increased love to God, and travail of soul, for the spreading of the kingdom of his dear Son. It was a comforting, strengthening opportunity.

The following morning we set off for Great Egg Harbor. The road lies through a wilderness of pine wood, about forty miles in width. This timber is cut for the Philadelphia and New York markets; large quantities of it are consumed by steamboats; and it is also converted into charcoal for the Iron Works, located in different parts of the forest. We reached Samuel Leeds' near sunset, and next day, were at their week-day meeting. My mind was introduced into sympathy with some who have partaken of the cup of affliction; and the language of encouragement was held forth, to labor to keep the faith and patience of the saints, and to profit by it, and affliction would prove a blessing in disguise. Several states were spoken to, and vocal prayer put up for the health and strength of those who were surrounded with difficulties; and for the prosperity of the Truth among them.

At the lower end of the shore, near Somers Point, we were entertained by Daniel Leeds. We walked down to the marsh to view the great beds of oyster shells, deposited there by the tribes of Indians that formerly resided along these shores, and were the original proprietors of the lands in this State. It is a mournful subject to contemplate, that a people, who were the peaceful occupants of this and other eastern parts of these United States, should now be almost exterminated. Had a disposition been cultivated to cherish them, and teach them the arts of civilized life, it is probable that many would have embraced them; and by having their lands secured and divided to them in suitable farms, we might suppose they could have been weaned from their wild habits, and embodied amongst the citizens of the country.

The meeting appointed for us was a close, searching opportunity for some present; and encouraging to the few, sincere lovers of Christ, located here, to hold on faithfully in the path of allotted duty; showing forth by an example of uprightness, sobriety, and humble walking with God, the excellency of the religion they profess: by which they might be instrumental in drawing others to have fellowship with them, and with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ. We parted from them with feelings of true affection, and sincere desire for their best welfare.

On first-day we attended their meeting at Tuckerton; and the next day the 14th, were at Barnegat; where we held a meeting, in a school-house, with the few Friends there, and a number of others. They sat in a very quiet, becoming manner, both during the silence, and while some of the doctrines of Christianity were held forth to them. The meeting ended with fervent prayer; it was mostly a laborious time. The situation of Friends along the shore, affords very little hope of much succession from among the young members; many of them removing to Philadelphia, or other parts of the country.

16th. We rose early; and with diligent traveling, reached Bancocas about the middle of the afternoon; and on the following day, attended their usual week-day meeting. It appeared to me that some present had been brought to submit to the forming Hand, and were they obedient to the further openings of Truth, would become prepared for usefulness in the church. To these the language of encouragement was affectionately addressed; and those were warned and entreated, who, notwithstanding the clear convictions of Divine light, were too ardently pursuing the world, and putting off the great work of salvation to some more convenient season. The necessity of worshipping and glorifying our Heavenly Father, whether we eat or drink, or whatever we do, was inculcated and enforced, as what ought to be the daily clothing and engagement of our spirits. In the afternoon, we went to John Bishop's; and next day attended Mansfield Meeting.

19th. Notice having been spread for a meeting this morning, at Crosswicks, Friends and others assembled and filled the house. Such meetings are not held without producing a deep concern that the cause of Truth may not suffer; and I went to it with sensations of poverty and weakness; not knowing how it might end. But He, whose mercies are over all his works, did not forsake us; and after a time of silent waiting, I rose with some fear, having had the subject of the small beginnings of the kingdom of heaven in the heart, brought before me. The doctrine that “The kingdom of God comes not with observation; neither shall they say, Lo here! or Lo there! for behold the kingdom of God is within you,” was shown; to set forth the commencement and experience of Christ's religion to be in the heart. It was also compared to a grain of mustard-seed, that a man sowed in his field; which, though the least of seeds, when it grew, it became the greatest among herbs. Christ gave himself for our sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God; but it is only as we receive and obey Him in his spiritual manifestations to the soul; which, though clear and certain, are often very small and gentle; that we can fully realize, the benefits of his coming, suffering and death. All present were solicited to give themselves into his hand; and more and more devote themselves to his service; that, through the washing of regeneration, and the renewings of the Holy Spirit, they might be sanctified; and, partaking of the efficacy of his blood in the forgiveness of their sins, they might be prepared, at the awful period when soul and body sever, to enter those mansions of glory, where the morning stars sing together, and the sons of God shout for joy.

The meeting ended with prayer for the strengthening of the feeble, yet sincere lovers of the Lord Jesus, for the confirmation of those whose hearts were touched that day, and for the young people; that they might be preserved from the principles of unbelief, and brought under the government of Christ; to whom with the Father, thanksgiving and praise were ascribed through the Holy Spirit. Amen. I was much overdone by the exercise; and seemed to have little inclination to converse much throughout the afternoon, to any one. We returned to John Bishop's, and lodged.

20th. The weather changed from a warm, damp atmosphere, to a clear, cold one; by which the roads were frozen and made very rough. On the way to Mount Holly, we called upon our ancient friend John Cox, being nearly eighty-four years of age. He had been kept from meeting, about two months, by sickness and feebleness; and, though not recovered altogether, he received us with his wonted cheerful and courteous manner. After sitting and conversing nearly an hour, we took leave of him, with feelings of respect and affection; and proceeded to Mount Holly, and held a meeting by appointment at two o'clock; which was satisfactory.

On first-day morning, the 21st, we attended Burlington Meeting. Many experienced and gifted members have been removed by death, within the last thirty years, and few have risen in their places, in this meeting. The importance of regarding this and other events, as teachers, to quicken their attention to the in-speaking word of faith, was pressed upon them; as well as the benefits of faithfulness, as evidenced by those, whoso lives are devoted to the truth. My mind was relieved, under a clothing of affectionate solicitude for the cause of Christ, and for the best welfare of the audience.

22nd. On second-day morning, we held a meeting at Easton; which was a painful season; being brought under the apprehension that some, who had begun well, were in danger of coming short of the crown.

Lodged that night at the house of my kind and very attentive companion H. Warrington. After I had taken an affectionate leave of his wife and daughter, commending them to the Shepherd of Israel, he conveyed me down to the ferry; and I soon reached my beloved family and home; where I found all in good health, and glad to have me returned to them again. My mind has been favored with peacefulness, though made sensible that I am a poor, unprofitable servant; unable to do or say any good thing, without the help of Him, who I desire may be my Lord and Master.

Chapter X

1838—1839

Visit with a Committee to Muncy and Exeter Monthly Meetings—Accompanies his Wife on a religious visit to two Quarterly Meetings in New York—Causes of Discouragement—Death of his Father—His Character—Visit to Cain and Western Quarterly Meetings.

Fifth month 12th. A committee, of which I was one, having been appointed by the Quarterly Meeting, to visit Muncy and Exeter Monthly Meetings, and their branches, we set off this morning; and reaching Pottstown, half of the number attended the meeting there, on first-day, and the rest that at Exeter, ten miles further on our way. Here I was enabled, after a season of silent waiting, in which poverty and emptiness were felt, to enter a little into the states of some present, and to minister to them under renewed help; and my dear friend, Sarah Hilman, appeared in vocal prayer. Several substantial Friends, members of this—Exeter Meeting—have latterly been removed by death; and the younger Friends, not having much experience, feel their reduced condition. Our companions joined us in the afternoon from Pottstown; and on second-day morning, we set out for Fishing Creek, which we reached on fourth-day; distance about ninety miles. Attended their Preparative Meeting next day; and there labored to impress the elders, overseers, and parents of children, with the responsibility of their respective stations. There were a few names, even in Sardis, who had not defiled their garments; and those here who had been favored to resist the corrupt principles by which others were swept away, were not to sit down in ease, and negligence of the flock; but to watch over them, and warn and restrain in the authority and ability which the Truth gives. Thus they would be clear of the blood of others, and might be instrumental in preserving them from the snares which surround; and even to gather into the true sheepfold. Thomas Kite closed the meeting, with some suitable exhortation enforcing the previous exercise.

That night we lodged at Andrew Eves; and next morning went to Muncy. Here we procured a wagon to convey one company to Elkland, a settlement of Friends in the Allegheny Mountains, thirty miles further northwest; for which place four of us set out on seventh-day morning. Parts of the road are rough and mountainous, and not very wide; so that some of the eminences were dangerous to drive over. Our horses were true and able, which are very necessary qualities on such roads, and we got through in pretty good time; being a little before sundown. Lodged at Joel and Ellen McCarty's, the latter a minister with a good gift. The meeting-house is five miles further on, at Hogeland's settlement; a piece of as bad road as I ever passed over. We attended the meeting, and were favored with the presence and help of Him who knows all our needs, and qualifies to speak to the conditions of the people. It was shown that faithfulness to our duty was to be proved by the fruits of righteousness; that it was possible to make much profession, and to be active in outward performances; all which might be done with an unchanged heart; but if so, it would avail us no good; it was necessary to have the inside of the cup and platter first cleansed, and then the outside would be made clean also. Some were closely spoken to, and the tendering power of Truth came over us. Our friend, Ellen McCarty, has been a good example of diligence and exertion in getting to their meeting, often through much difficulty.

Hearing of a militia muster about three miles from her residence, she felt drawn to go there, and by her faithful dealing with some of the young men there assembled, she convinced two of them of the unlawfulness of war; and they afterwards joined the Society of Friends; and the wife of one of them, we were informed, had appeared in the ministry. Our feelings were much interested in this place and people, and we felt hopes that truth would spread amongst them, and their condition in many respects become improved.

21st. On second-day morning we resumed our wagon and retraced our rough road deliberately, seldom out of a walk. The streams of water, which are very numerous in Pennsylvania, are remarkable for their transparency. Elk Creek and Loyal-Sock are beautiful. The former falls from an eminence of forty feet, in sight from the road. We walked to it, and found the passage to it was a large cavity, apparently cut out of a rocky mountain, ending in a breastwork, over which the creek falls; the walls rising on each side of the stream.

The rays of the sun being shut out, the spray and surrounding stone work, from which water constantly oozed, kept the atmosphere quite cool there; though a few yards out of it, the temperature was oppressively warm. A considerable mass of ice, left from the preceding winter, still remained under the projecting walls of rocks. We got to the house of our friend, Mercy Ellis, before dark; our women Friends being a good deal wearied.

On third-day morning, 22nd, we called upon two ancient Friends, one of them, Elizabeth Kitely, a minister, in the ninety-sixth year of her age. She seemed full of gratitude to her Divine Master for the comforts which she enjoys; and though her memory of late occurrences fails her, she expressed much gladness at seeing us. She said her candle was nearly burnt out; and the preceding night she thought would have been her last. Mercy Ellis informed us that when of ability to travel, she had often stopped at houses of strangers, as she felt her mind attracted, and would communicate counsel and advice; particularly to persons who appeared to be in low circumstances, and not in the way of religious instruction. It was truly pleasant and cheering to see one so far advanced, recounting her blessings, and seeming to feel nothing but peace. It formed a happy contrast with a fretful, discontented mind; so undesirable in one who has nearly done with this world, and ought to be clothed with a heavenly frame, waiting in faith for an entrance into a better.

The afternoon proved very wet, and we were glad to get under the roof of our kind friends, Andrew Eves and wife, at Fishing Creek, after a ride of twenty miles. The next day attended Muncy Monthly Meeting, held at Greenwood. Still very rainy, which we apprehended made the meeting smaller than it would otherwise have been. The way opened for some labor in both meetings, and Friends appeared glad of the visit. The members of this Monthly Meeting are scattered over a great extent of country; which makes it difficult for the overseers to extend that care which their welfare and that of the Society require. On fifth-day morning, 24th, we left the comfortable residence of our friend, David Masters, and rode thirty-five miles to Spohn's tavern, on the Broad Mountain; lodged there.

Next morning stopped at Pottsville to breakfast, and to repair a broken stay on one of the carriages; and that evening reached Maiden Creek; part of the company putting up at Sybilla Starr's, and the other at Enos Lee's. Our kind and valuable friend Jeremiah Starr, died on the day of our late select Quarterly Meeting. He will be much missed by the members of his own meeting, and we felt the blank made in his family. We visited the families of Friends there on seventh-day, and attended their meeting on first-day; which to me was a very laborious time; a number of persons being present who, according to my feelings, were very little acquainted with the work of religion in their own hearts. It appeared to be my place to hold forth the universal operation of Divine Grace upon the heart, as the convictor for sin, and the regenerator of the heart, where it is received and submitted to. Very little relief was obtained, and I felt depressed in spirit on returning to our lodgings.

Third-day the 29th, was employed in finishing a visit to the families of Friends in Exeter; in which a degree of heavenly help was extended, enabling us to enter into the states of the visited; though we felt our own weakness. On the following day attended the Monthly Meeting; in which some of the committee labored for their help. There are some honest-hearted Friends here, who sigh over the low condition of the church, and desire its enlargement in the life of religion. Took an affectionate leave of our very kind friends, and lodged that night at Pottstown, and the next afternoon joined our beloved families at our respective homes. The review of this journey affords peace; for I believe we did endeavor to fulfill our mission according to the ability granted, and to avoid giving offense on any occasion.

Sixth month 11th. The streams of Divine life feel much blocked up, by some secret cause; so that mourning and heaviness have been my portion for some days past. In addition to this, trade is much depressed; which renders the means of subsistence more uncertain. But my faith in the unfailing goodness and providence of an Almighty Protector, has not been permitted to fail. We have many more comforts than we have any right to expect; and have so far been enabled to perform all those little services called for, away from home, without improperly neglecting the business, or the oversight of our families. This I consider a very incumbent duty, and which may be neglected more than we are aware of, if unwatchfulness overtake us. Many of the sincerely exercised members of our Society have been wading along for many years under deep discouragement, at the little evidence they have of the Truth gaining ground among us, in this Yearly Meeting. The late separation cut off many, who ought now to be fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters in the church. Some, since that period, have experienced changes, and made an open acknowledgment of the Truth; but do not come forth in that usefulness which Christ would qualify for and lead into, had they kept their covenants, by obedience to Him. The trials of those who have been endeavoring to encourage and strengthen their brethren, hoping against hope, have been latterly augmented by the dissemination of other unsound sentiments in the Society.

18th. Our meetings for worship yesterday, both morning and afternoon, were depressing and lifeless seasons; at least as regards my feelings. There seemed but little capacity even to hunger and thirst after righteousness; and nothing like ministering to others. I thought of the appellation by which our Almighty Father is denominated in Scripture: “The Lord that hides his face from the house of Jacob.” Sometimes sin separates between Him and us; and sometimes He veils his presence, to prove the love and allegiance of his children, and to humble them under a feeling of their nothingness, and lack of all things without Him.

Seventh month 1st. Notwithstanding the warmth of the weather, and the number of members absent in the country, our morning meeting was large; and my wife was led to speak to the states of many present, in a feeling and affecting manner. I was drawn to kneel in supplication to the Father of mercies, that He would administer to the respective states of those assembled before Him; cause the Angel of his presence to encamp round about us; and preserve, in an especial manner, the dear children, from the temptations to which they are exposed. Some hearts were humbled; and solemnity spread over us.

4th. Today we had two marriages at our meeting; a very large concourse attended. They were addressed on the importance of living conformably with the doctrines and precepts of our blessed Savior; as laid down in the Holy Scriptures. A woman minister knelt in prayer; and, considering the occasion and the mixed company, Friends thought the meeting was held with religious weight.

Eighth month 17th. My wife having a concern to attend the Quarterly Meetings of Nine Partners and Stanford, in the State of New York, and a few meetings belonging to them, obtained a minute from the Monthly Meeting; and as the journey was not likely to require much time, and feeling drawn to accompany her, the meeting gave me a minute of its approbation.

We did not leave home without feelings of reluctance and discouragement; not knowing what might be our lot. But having nothing in view, except the discharge of our duty, we set out on the 3rd of this month, and reached Poughkeepsie, on the North River, one hundred and seventy-five miles, about half past nine o'clock. The weather was fine, and the whole passage was pleasant; the evening being moonlit, which rendered the river and the highlands beautifully picturesque. Our boat moved with great ease and celerity; and the engine worked with uncommonly little jar.

On seventh-day morning, the 4th, our kind and beloved friend Smith Upton, met us at Poughkeepsie, and took us to a Friend's house on our way to Beekman.

First-day attended Beekman Meeting, in which we both had some service tending to show the importance of steadfast devotion to our religious duties. Next morning, the Friend at whose house we lodged, gave us a passage to Oblong. We attended the Quarterly Meeting, and a meeting for public worship, on fourth-day. My wife, and our friend J. W. of New York, had the principal part of the service. There are a number of young Friends, of both sexes, whose appearance would lead us to hope they are concerned for themselves, and for the maintenance of the cause of Truth; and they had our sincere desires and labors for their preservation and growth in it.

Next morning we proceeded to the residence of our friend Sarah Hull, at Stanford. In the Select Quarterly Meeting held here, J. W. recited the communication of the Master to his disciples, “Satan has desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat;” also, that of the Apostle Paul, “If any man preach any other Gospel unto you than that you have received, let him be accursed;” and held forth the language of warning, and counsel to watchfulness. I found it my place to encourage those who had received gifts, to occupy them under their Lord's guidance and direction; following Him in faith.

In the Quarterly Meeting, on sixth-day, I stood up with the injunction to one of the ancient churches, and which is applicable to some in the present day: “Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain that are ready to die; for I have not found your works perfect before God.” To be qualified to strengthen others, we must be sensible of our own weakness and imperfections; and in our humiliation before the Lord, in his own time He will arise, and clothe with ability to labor in his cause, for the help of others. It appeared to me there was need for individual examination; that the things which remain, but are ready to die, might be strengthened; and the works of some be made more perfect before the Lord, than they had yet ever been. The reduced state of this meeting, in point of numbers, is affecting; and but very few young members are coming up, under the preparing hand of the Lord, for service in the church.

Having no meeting appointed on seventh-day, we stayed at the pleasant residence of our kind friend Sarah Hull, widow of that excellent minister of the Gospel, Henry Hull.

First-day 12th. Attended Stanford Meeting in the morning, and one appointed at the Creek in the afternoon. My dear wife had the chief of the service in both. I trust they were held to profit, to individuals who were present. Next day we had a meeting at Nine Partners, in which she found it her place to treat on the subject of the ministry. I felt engaged to hold forth a warning against the danger of forsaking the Truth, and joining with that which will deprive us of the crown, that is in reserve for those who continue to the end with our Lord, in the temptations or trials which beset his church and cause.

“Blessed is the man that endures temptation; for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life.” When his fidelity and allegiance are fully proved, his Lord will come forth and reward him with his presence and acceptance; and as such hold out to the end, the incorruptible crown of glory will be mercifully granted to them, in the kingdom of their Father. We returned in the evening to our friend Asa Upton's and spent the next day there, and at the houses of his brothers, Paul and Smith.

On fourth-day, the 15th, we took our departure homeward, where we arrived in safety, the next afternoon; having the clothing of peacefulness in the fulfillment of this little portion of duty.

Ninth month. On the 11th I went with my brother Joel to West-town School. We had a very tendering time in the meeting there, in the forenoon. The danger of losing our first love, and relying upon what we have known in time past, without experiencing the renewed baptisms of the Holy Spirit, was held up to view. In this condition we may be deceived respecting ourselves, and suppose that we are in a better state than we really are. Watchfulness unto prayer, and the disposition to desire those proving dispensations, wherein we experience a being baptized into the likeness of Christ's death and suffering, were recommended; that thus we might, from season to season, be raised up into newness of life; and be qualified from experience, to testify to the Truth; and not merely because we have read or heard of it, through others. Sarah Emlen knelt, returning thanks for the present favor, and praying that messengers might be sent forth to roll the stone from the well's mouth, as it had been done that day; that so the flocks might be watered; that the word preached might sink deep into the hearts of some present, who were ashamed to confess their Lord before men; and that their eyes might be anointed to see, and to discriminate between the chaff and the wheat; the alloy and the precious gold and silver. It was a season of renewing our strength and confidence in the mercy and goodness of the unslumbering Shepherd of Israel; for which we desired, in reverence and humility, to return thanks to his great and worthy name.

I stayed the afternoon meeting, and also sat with the boys in the collecting room; in both of which, counsel was extended on other subjects; and on the next morning returned to Springfield, and so home; enjoying the calm of peaceful poverty, yet well satisfied that I went.

25th. Yesterday my wife and myself attended Frankford Monthly Meeting, held at Germantown. It was a day of Divine favor; the blessed Head of the Church qualifying us both, to preach the Gospel to the weary and tried amongst them, and to the younger members; inviting them, under the influence of heavenly love, to obey the discoveries of the light of Christ, and taking his yoke upon their necks, to follow Him whithersoever He leads.

From the state of many meetings, there is reason to fear a declension from the life and power of religion amongst us is taking place. Death is removing the older members, and comparatively few of the younger, appear to be coming forth in dedication to the work of the Lord. Unless the Head of the church turns his hand upon sons and daughters, and raises up a band of faithful laborers, clothing them with zeal as with a garment, for his cause and honor's sake, there is reason to fear, that in some places, the Society may become a desolation. Such a picture is truly mournful; but what can we expect, when so little fruit has been produced, after so many gifts and favors have been conferred upon us.

Eleventh month 30th. The ministry of the Gospel is a mystery to those who are unacquainted with the teachings and movings of the Spirit of Christ in the heart. I have many times been instructed by the gradual unfolding of matter, designed to be communicated in a religious assembly. If we are not preserved in patience, it is possible to miss the particular point which is designed to be held up to view, or to give a wrong construction to the portion of Scripture brought before the mind He who has the work in his own hand, and sees the needs of the people, can alone prepare the creature for his service, and that which He intends for them to do. There is at the present time much unsettlement among many of the members of our Society. They are attracted by wordy, doctrinal discourses, which fill the head, and leave the heart little benefitted. An aversion is produced to a spiritual, practical ministry, which lays open the negligence and unfaithfulness of the professors, and insists on the indispensable necessity of self-denial, and a steadfast following of Christ in the way of the cross.

Many appear to want a religion without a cross; and to be ranked among the followers of Christ, without yielding to the baptisms and humiliations which He introduces the obedient soul into. But this desire is vain; and all that such may hear will avail nothing, unless they are brought to Christ; and, in the submissiveness of little children, take his yoke upon them, and follow the leadings and discoveries of his divine and saving light in the secret of the heart.

Twelfth month 1st. My wife and I went to our beloved friends Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve's, near Medford, New Jersey, and attended the meeting there; in which we both had service. Our love for these dear Friends increases as they draw near to the period when the church is to be deprived of their counsel and consistent example. They have watched faithfully over the flock committed to their trust in that meeting, and have been favored with the spirit of wisdom and discernment in the discharge of their religious duties, as elders and overseers in the church.

1839, Second month. At our Monthly Meeting I obtained liberty to visit the Western and Cain Quarterly Meetings, and the meetings composing them. As our own Quarterly Meeting occurs in the early part of the Second month, I deferred leaving home; intending soon after to set out on the proposed visit.

Our friend Daniel Wheeler arrived in this city on the 1st of the Second month, and attended both the Select and General Quarterly Meetings. His services were very acceptable to Friends; his doctrine corresponding with the ancient principles of the Society, and tending to bring the minds of the hearers to the work of religion, and to the teachings of Christ in their own hearts.

My dear and honored father had been in a declining state of health for several months, and on fourth-day the 30th of last month, had a severe chill. Though he came down stairs on the following morning, he found himself too much prostrated in strength to remain, and accordingly returned to his bed; which he left but little until removed by death. It being proposed to call in a consulting physician he declined, saying, that at his time of life it was not probable he could continue here long, and he was entirely satisfied with what his son, the attending physician, might do for him. He daily grew weaker, until he departed, on sixth-day morning the 8th, a little after eight o'clock. He was nursed by his children, who watched him with much solicitude. One morning when asked how he was, he replied, “very quiet—very quiet, but very weak.” I remarked, it was a trial to have those removed, at this time, who have long stood for the defense of the Truth. He rejoined, “I have felt a great deal on that account, a great deal. I am satisfied there is a spirit at work which would lay waste the ancient profession and doctrines of our Society, and draw Friends away from the spirituality of that which they have once known; and many are caught with it.”

During the first three days of his confinement, his mind appeared to be under exercise, and though, as was usual with him, be said little of his own exercises, I believe he was introduced into a very humbling view of himself, and made deeply sensible of the frailties which pertain to man; and that it is only through Divine mercy, after we have done the will of God, that we are accepted at last. He became settled in a holy confidence; being gathered and centered to the sure foundation, Christ Jesus, the hope of the saints' glory. He endured with patience the infirmities produced by advanced age and disease; alluded with much serenity to his approaching close; and the peacefulness and heavenly settlement which were felt, gave evidence that his eye was firmly fixed on the eternal recompense, laid up in store for those who follow the Lamb of God, whithersoever He leads. He retained the use of his faculties to the last, and expired without any struggle, or the change of a feature. To his children it was a solemn and affecting event; and to the Society, in which he has long stood as a faithful watchman, his removal will be felt as leaving a blank that cannot soon be filled. He was favored with a clear, sound and discerning mind; and soon detecting the specious appearances of the enemy, he raised his voice with unwavering firmness against them; and though he often incurred the censure of the superficial professor, and of those who sought the honor of men, yet he kept his ground, and very generally proved that his judgment was correct. He was faithful in waiting for the arising of the power of Truth in our religious assemblies, both for worship and discipline. It was his delight and life to feel it, both in himself and in the services of others; and when he was sensible of it, it was his authority for his own movements, and satisfied him respecting others, however simple and unlearned they might be. The interment took place on second-day morning the 11th, and the solemnity which prevailed in the house and over the company, there and at the ground, was very remarkable; it was in character with his love of silence and his deep inward waiting, rather than the expression of many words.

After the decease of my dear parent, I concluded to put off the proposed visit to Cain and the Western Quarters, until the close of our Yearly Meeting; but in the course of a week or two, the apprehension came over me, that it would be unsafe to defer it, lest it might lose its freshness; and that the Lord's work is not to be done in man's time. Accordingly, I left home, with my brother Joseph Evans, and on the 23rd of the Second month, rode to Bradford.

Attended that meeting on first-day; in which I was engaged to revive the language of Elisha, after the removal of Elijah “Where is the Lord God of Elijah?” and from there to show the necessity of the enquiry after that Almighty power, which raised up our ancient Friends, and made them a substantial, spiritually-minded people; and to endeavor to stir up Friends to more zeal and devotion; that through their example, the young people might be enlisted under the government of the Prince of Peace.

On second-day morning we rode over to East Cain; the traveling being very heavy. I was encouraged to hope, that there are a number of young men here who love the Truth and that, in time, they will be prepared to be useful in the church. Third-day morning was very wet, and yet a pretty large company collected at Downingtown. The emptiness of all worldly possessions, as the means of procuring true happiness; the vanity of man in his best estate, surrounded by all that he can acquire; and the certainty of death, were brought into view; and the necessity of redemption from the world, and an entire dedication to the will and service of God, were affectionately enforced. It was a season of favor, in which the tendering influences of Divine love spread over us; and thanksgiving and prayer were offered for the favor, and for the strength and preservation of different classes, in the right way.

Fourth-day at Uwchlan. The people were nearly all strangers to me, and I had hard labor with the spirit of infidelity; but was enabled to warn those, faithfully, who were led away with it. It was a solemn opportunity, after which I felt clear and peaceful. Next day we attended an appointed meeting at Nantmeal, where very few Friends remain. The peculiar blessings of the New Covenant, in which the Divine law is written in the heart, and we are under no absolute necessity to apply to man for a knowledge of it, the Lord having placed his Spirit in the hearts of all men, were opened to the people; a number not professing with Friends being present. I was led to say, that where He who ascended up on high, had given gifts for the work of the ministry, the duty of such was, to turn the attention to Christ; who by his grace, which brings salvation, appears in the heart; that their hearers might come to be taught and led by Him, and know Him to become their Redeemer and Savior, the Shepherd and Bishop of their souls, indeed.

Attended Robeson Preparative Meeting; and the following day, we got to the comfortable residence of our beloved friend and mother in the Truth, Hannah Gibbons, at Lampeter, before dark. Such stopping-places are peculiarly grateful to those who have left all, in the service of their Lord and Master. Under the roofs of such, they often find fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, and enjoy houses and lands, as if their own; thus realizing the promises of Christ to his poor, yet dedicated disciples.

Attended their meeting on first-day (3rd of Third month;) in which the little company was permitted to drink together of the consolation and strength wherewith the Master rewards them that keep the watch, faithfully, for his coming; and the young were affectionately invited to come under his yoke, that they might witness preservation from the allurements of the world.

On second-day morning, we had an appointed meeting at West Cain, and another in the afternoon at East Sadsbury.

Both of them were seasons wherein Holy help was extended, to minister to the states of the people. When we got to West Cain, we found that a separatist from New York had appointed a meeting at the same time and place; which at first felt trying to us; but being early at the house, we took our seats, endeavoring to retire in spirit to the Master, for his help and direction. Friends gathered pretty promptly, and filled the gallery and the seats under it; and notice having been spread, that two ministers were to be there, the house was early filled by Friends and others. A Friend sitting near us, told us after the meeting closed, that two men, one of whom he supposed to be the separatist, came into the yard, and then rode away.

Most probably, seeing the gallery and house filled, they declined attempting to force themselves on the meeting; of which we were truly glad; and thankful to the great Head of the churcl for his goodness, in solemnizing the meeting, and qualifying to preach redemption and salvation through Him. It was as quiet and orderly a meeting as I have almost ever sat in; and ended with thanksgiving for His continued mercy, and prayer for the help of those who had been made sensible of it.

The Monthly Meeting of Sadsbury, held today, the 5th, was large. To deliver close doctrine amongst our Friends is a trial; but sometimes the danger of resting in an outside show of religion, while the heart is unchanged, makes it necessary to search Jerusalem as with candles; and to call upon the men of Israel to renew the examination of themselves, as they may be favored with the visitations of the Searcher of Hearts; who is of purer eyes than to look on iniquity in his church and people.

It was a solemn season; and though it is more pleasant to the creature to pour in the oil and the wine, yet I believe no offense was taken at the doctrine delivered.

Fourth-day had an appointed meeting at Bart, which was satisfactory; and the next day attended the Monthly Meeting of London Grove, held at Fallowfield. Lodged at S. Swain's, and held a meeting in Friends' House at London Grove, which was a favored time. The importance of individual faithfulness was held up to view; and the doctrine of salvation through the merits and mediation of Christ, and the sanctification of the Spirit, was preached; and the certainty of the Stone, cut out of the mountain without hands, increasing and overpowering all opposition, in the Lord's time, was declared in the authority of Truth. We tarried until the following noon with our kind friend Isaac Pusey and wife; visited his relative Edith Edge and her daughter, who were at home. It was refreshing to find there are those, in many places, whose minds are in good measure imbued with the love of Christ, and their conduct and appearance circumspect. From amongst these we hope to see faithful soldiers raised up, who will not flinch from suffering and reproach; but, growing in grace and strength, will valiantly maintain the testimonies which our Holy Head communicated to us to hold forth in the world, and for which our devoted forefathers suffered many privations, and not a few, even death.

The meeting at West Grove was laborious, under a sense that many are engrossed with the things of time; and not coming forward in that dedication to the Lord's will which He requires; and thus the testimonies of Truth are in danger of falling to the ground among them. I missed the help of the spirits of William Jackson and his wife; two ancient and substantial ministers, who were removed a few years since to their everlasting reward. They were living when I last visited this meeting; and not only treated me with much affection, but were a strength and comfort, from their staidness of mind, and deep indwelling with the Seed of Life in their hearts.

On first-day morning attended London-Britain Meeting. The day was fine, and without notice, the members generally, with some not of us, convened. The impossibility of the natural man comprehending Divine things; and the indispensable need of regeneration, to enable us to see the kingdom of God, were subjects brought before me; and in the ability afforded, I labored with some there, to bring them to see that all their acquirements, without a change of heart, would avail them little; that those who thought they knew something in relation to the things of God, which they had collected by study and the exertions of their own faculties, as men, knew nothing in those things as they ought to know. There seemed to be a self-sufficiency in some, which rendered it hard work to obtain much relief. A Friend, after the meeting, expressed that he did not marvel at the labor; and though I alluded to the trial it is to have to deal with such spirits, he said he wished me to be faithful, and to be encouraged.

Second-day morning we rode to New Garden, and a pretty large company of Friends and their neighbors convened; and though I felt somewhat depressed, yet the good Master condescended to afford help. Quiet and solemnity spread over us, and I was opened on the importance of a wakeful, watchful state in our respective allotments in the church; being withdrawn from all improper dependence on man, and having our reliance placed on Him, without whom the watchman wakes in vain, and they labor in vain who build the house. Some hearts were humbled and tendered.

On third and fourth-days held meetings at Hockessin and Kennett. These two, form a Monthly Meeting, in which there are but few young men who appear like Friends. Most of them having become involved in the spirit, and habits, and principles of the world, they have lost the simplicity of the Truth, and the love for its cause, which is the noblest object that can claim the devotion of our time and talents; and which will truly dignify and render man useful. The sensations of my mind were mournful, from a feeling of the great degeneracy of not a few of the children, even of valuable members of the Society, and I left them with heaviness. After dining, we rode twenty miles to my brother's residence at Springfield, and found his family in good health. Next morning I got to my own home, which I think I rarely ever entered with more peacefulness. I desire to bless and to thank my Lord and Master with humility and reverence, for the sweet reward; and to be preserved amid the temptations which yet await my earthly pilgrimage.

Chapter XI

1839—1841

Yearly Meeting—Visits various Meetings in Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Baltimore Quarterly Meeting—Visit to Westbury and Purchase Quarterly Meetings—Attends the Yearly Meeting in Virginia—Death of his Son.

Fourth month 9th. The Yearly Meeting being near at hand, brings with it an unusual degree of concern, respecting the manner in which it will be held. It is greatly to be feared, that some have become blinded by a spirit which is seeking to draw Friends away from the spirituality of our holy profession, and to bring them into an alliance with the friendships of the world.

Nothing short of the extension of Divine help, can preserve our poor Society from distraction and division. May our trust and confidence be placed in the protecting arm of the Shepherd of Israel, who has ever been the defense of his dependent children; and though He may permit them to go into deep baptism and suffering, as they endeavor to keep their faith and reliance in Him, He will bring them up again, rejoicing in his mercy and faithfulness.

On third-day morning, the Yearly Meeting entered on the Queries and Answers, and Friends were favored to speak suitably to the different subjects; holding up the importance of public Divine worship, and the preservation of the unity which stands in Christ; wherein we should all speak the same language, and harmonize in our various labors to promote the cause of Truth in the church and in the world. Our ancient testimony to the Light of Christ, as the primary rule of faith and practice, and the subordination of the Scriptures to it, was held forth, and a general concern was manifest to keep Friends to our religious profession. Throughout the various sittings, the meeting was favored with much solemnity.

In the Fifth month, I attended Cain and the Western Quarters, and was enabled to labor in them under the influence of Gospel love, for the encouragement of sound-hearted Friends, and to draw others away from the inordinate love and pursuit of worldly things. The last meeting was one of renewed favor.

Eighth month 5th. Jacob Green from Ireland, on a second visit to this country, attended our Quarterly Meeting. I felt a strong desire that he might be baptized into the states of individuals and of meetings where he visited; and through the quickening power of Him, who declared Himself to be “the resurrection and the life,” be enabled to minister, so as to reach the life in others, who desire to be fed with that food only which comes from the Divine hand; and feeling incited thereto, I ventured to express it, as my sincere and tender desire for him. My dear wife brought before the meeting a concern to attend the Yearly Meetings of Ohio and Indiana, and to visit some meetings belonging to them, etc, for which she had a certificate of concurrence from our Monthly Meeting.

8th. I attended Abington Quarterly Meeting, and was enabled to hold forth the doctrine of our Lord, when He thanked the Father that he had hid the mysteries of his kingdom from the wise and prudent, and revealed them unto babes. That unregenerate man with all his wisdom and natural powers, was unable to discover the truth as it is in Jesus. His pride led him to overlook it, as too simple and too little for him to believe in. It was only as he was brought down into the dust; into a humble, childlike state, that he could be prepared to have these things revealed to him. “Except you be converted and become as little children, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven;” and unless we enter the kingdom of the dear Son of God and come under his government, we cannot see the things that pertain thereto. When we are brought here, He will reveal the knowledge of God, and those things which belong to our everlasting peace; and this knowledge of God and of his beloved Son, as it is thus revealed, is life eternal to the soul. Much more was opened, and the meeting was brought under a solemn covering. A woman Friend closed the meeting in humble, fervent prayer that the solemn truths delivered that day, might be sealed on every heart, and that the praise might be ascribed to the Lord alone to whom it belongs.

27th. Having some time felt a draft to the Quarterly Meeting of Bucks, I took the car to Trenton and from there the stage to New Hope. I was very kindly received by my highly esteemed friend and mother in the Truth, Ruth Ely. On fourth-day attended the Select Meeting; in which some ability was afforded to show, that while we are in no degree to become negligent of our duty, all over anxiety for the good cause will add nothing to our stature, nor promote its advancement. But He who makes the lilies to grow, and arrays them in a manner far superior to Solomon's robes, can take care of and defend his cause, and prosper it and us, as our trust is placed in Him alone. Friends convened on fifth-day morning in greater number than was usual, at Buckingham. The power of religion appeared low; and for a time it felt doubtful whether we should know what it was to rise from the dead into newness of life. I endeavored to draw near to Him who alone can bring out of the pit, and open our mouths to declare his will. After struggling with fear, I believed it right to rise with the testimony of the Apostle: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit; for the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death;” and to declare that this continues to be the case to the obedient soul to this very day. I was led to open the condition of those who had obeyed the dictates of the Spirit of Christ in their hearts; who had submitted to the administration of condemnation for sin; and after abiding under it the appointed time, experienced a change of condition; having the love of God shed abroad in their hearts, and receiving the law of the Spirit of life, and yielding faithfully to it, came to be freed from the dominion of the law of sin and death.

These were prepared to advance in the spiritual journey; and as they were faithful to their Divine Leader, would grow from stature to stature, and witness an establishment in the blessed Truth. Those who persisted in disobedience, would grow harder in sin; shame and confusion would cover them; and they could have no other prospect than separation from the presence of the Lord, and the glory of his power, “When He shall come to be glorified in his saints, and to be admired in all them that believe, at that day.” Such as deny the possibility of keeping the commandments of God, and contend for the commission of sin through life, are not true Christians. We cannot serve two masters. Either we shall love one and hate the other, or cleave to one and despise the other. We cannot serve God and mammon. A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand. We must serve Christ or antichrist; and all who submit to Christ, will be brought from under the government of the prince of the power of the air, into the freedom of the children of God; freed from sin, as well as the guilt of sin. There was present, I was afterwards told, one of those preachers who inculcate the idea that we are not made free from sin in this life.

Ninth month 5th. I attended the Arch Street Meeting, where I sat some time under a consideration of my own weaknesses and imperfections. Clothed with these sensations, we feel entirely unfit for the Lord's work, and are disposed to retire from it, and keep silence before Him, with the mouth as in the dust.

After a time, I was introduced into a different feeling, and seemed to be gradually prepared to speak; but something seemed to give me a gentle check; with the intimation to wait and examine the presentation a little further; and on recurring to the passage of Scripture before me: “To obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams,” it appeared to be applicable, and perhaps designed for myself. I kept still; and was glad that my Divine Master was so kind and condescending, as to keep me and instruct me in this way. May I become more and more conformed to his Divine will, and prepared to hear and obey his voice.

10th. I went to Medford to attend Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, and took up my abode, for the time, with my dear, aged friends Josiah and Elizabeth Reeve, who are in declining health. Attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders.

The Quarterly Meeting for business, held next day, was a solid, gathered assembly; and the way opened to preach the gospel of Christ, both in relation to the efficacy of his sufferings, and the immediate manifestation of his Spirit in the heart; by which He is revealed to the soul as the Redeemer and Sanctifior of his people.

1840, Fourth month. The past winter has been a season of close, inward conflict; the way opening for but little service; and it is to be feared that the unity among Friends has not increased. I have, however, attended a few meetings out of the city; and at times have been favored with best help in the discharge of what appeared to be required.

29th. Our Yearly Meeting was held last week. The business was conducted with great harmony, as to external appearances; but there was much secret suffering endured. The duties of clerk were more trying to me than at any previous period; so that I felt desirous of a release. Caleb Pennock, a minister, in his eighty-eighth year, expressed the encouragement he felt at seeing so many young men there; he believed that better days are ahead, and that the faith of this religious Society would rise and shine with greater brightness. He rejoiced at believing this, though he might not live to see it. A memorial, prepared by the Southern District Monthly Meeting of Philadelphia, concerning my beloved father, was forwarded by the Meeting for Sufferings, and united with by the Yearly Meeting.

Fifth month. I obtained a minute from the Monthly Meeting, to attend the Quarterly Meeting of Baltimore; and in company with my friend Charles Allen, accomplished the service. We paid several visits to Friends in that city; in some of which, the way opened to impart counsel and encouragement to come under the government and teaching of the Spirit of Christ; that through its regenerating operations, individuals might be prepared for service in his church militant, and union with the church triumphant, when done with the trials of this probationary scene. The Quarterly Meeting is very small; also the Select Meeting; in both of which I had some service.

We rode out to Gunpowder, and had an appointed meeting, on sixth-day, composed of a few members and others. Here there is little prospect of a succession among Friends; and yet it seemed proper to warn them against discouragement in assembling for Divine worship. Nearly all the members of this meeting joined in the separation of 1828; and the reduced state of the remaining members, called forth sympathy with them.

We returned to Baltimore on seventh-day, and visited an afflicted Friend, in the station of a minister. The testimony of the Apostle was brought into view: “How that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called but God has chosen the foolish things of the world, to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things that are mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised has God chosen; yes and things which are not, to bring to naught things that are; that no flesh should glory in his presence.” And when we had been arrayed as in the king's apparel and placed upon the king's horse, like Mordecai, we must be stripped again, and return to the gate. When the Lord has a work for us to do, He often brings us down low, that we may feel our own nothingness; that when He again equips for service, we may be sensible the treasure is in earthen vessels, and the excellency of the power is of God and not of us.

In the meeting on first-day morning, the states of some who were often convinced of what the Lord required at their hands, but who were putting off the work of religion, were spoken to; and in the afternoon, those who stood as overseers, were exhorted to faithfulness in feeding the flock. I also felt a concern for the young, visited members, that they might not be allured from the fold by the insidious temptations of an unwearied enemy, and the lack of proper example in their elder Friends; but that they all might harmonize, in strengthening each other in the right way; whereby a succession of consistent Friends might be raised and preserved in that city. We returned home on second-day, and I felt well satisfied I had made the visit; though there was little to rejoice in.

Having obtained a minute of the unity of the Monthly Meeting, I set off on the 17th of the Tenth month, 1840, in company with my friend Samuel Hilles of Wilmington, to visit the Quarterly Meetings of Westbury and Purchase, in the State of New York; some of their constituent branches, and a few meetings on the way. After accomplishing the visit, I returned home on the 3rd of Eleventh month, in peace, and found my beloved family in usual health, which was cause of gratitude to our Heavenly Father.

Eleventh month 11th. This morning I received the intelligence of the decease of my much beloved and honored friend and father in the Truth, Josiah Reeve of Upper Evesham, New Jersey. Thus, one after another, the fathers and pillars are removed from among us, at a time when the church seems greatly to need them. May the blessed Head of the church, in mercy look down upon our poor Society, and arouse many to a lively sense of the course they are pursuing, and snatch them as brands from the burning; that during the day of grace, they may be induced to enter into the vineyard and labor. But oh! the benumbing effects of this world; how it is slaying thousands who should be employed in the Lord's work, and under his direction, spreading the kingdom of righteousness and truth in the earth.

On fifth-day, the 12th, I went to the late residence of my beloved friend, and felt much sympathy with his widow, who has also long been afflicted with bodily indisposition. She is a mother in Israel, furnished with a discerning spirit and soundness of judgment that qualifies her for usefulness in the church of Christ.

Twelfth month 20th. My beloved wife having been engaged nearly four weeks in visiting the families of Friends of Chester and Haddon field Monthly Meetings, N. J., returned home this afternoon, having accomplished the work to her own relief and peace.

24th. Since my return from New York, I have passed through seasons of great poverty and desertion. But though closely proved in various ways, I have endeavored to keep patient, and wait for the return of the Beloved of my soul; having underneath all, a secret trust and belief that light would again break forth, and a renewed qualification be granted, to testify of his mercy and unfailing compassion towards his dependent creature, man.

This day I went to the Arch Street Meeting, where, after a time of inward waiting, the testimony of an eminent Apostle arose; “That the trial of your faith being much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory, at the appearing of Jesus Christ;” and in the fresh openings of the Spirit, I was led to speak of the afflictions and provings of their faith, which the Lord's children and servants had to pass through. He only knew when, and how far to try their faith and allegiance, by withdrawing his sensible presence; but as they endeavored to possess their souls in patience, keeping their eye to Him alone, when He saw it had produced the effect designed, He would return with healing in his wings, and give these the joys of his salvation.

These could then sing of his judgments and his mercies and would know a growth, and an establishment upon the Rock of ages, and the Foundation of many generations. The trial of their faith works patience, patience experience, and experience hope; that hope which makes not ashamed of the tribulations that pertain to the Gospel of Christ. I was also led to encourage the dear young people to keep to their exercises, and not to cast away their confidence in their Lord; and through obedience and submission to his baptizing power, they would advance until they should be prepared to endure hardness, as good soldiers of Jesus Christ.

Being their Monthly Meeting, I remained with them. Towards the close there arose the language of encouragement to the members, to devote themselves to the Lord's work, the few remaining years of their lives. Our religious Society had been signally blessed in this city, and within our Yearly Meeting, as well as in other places; but we had not brought forth fruits answerable to those blessings. Scattering and separation had taken place; but I believed if we were willing to submit to the necessary baptisms, and give ourselves up to his service, that his blessings would still be poured forth upon us, ungrateful as we had been; the waste places would be built up, and the doctrines and testimonies given to this Society, would not only be preached, but their nature and effect would be shown in the lives and conversation of our members; and living witnesses to those doctrines would be raised up, from age to age, and they should spread from the rivers to the ends of the earth.

1841, Fourth month 5th. Attended a semi-annual examination of the scholars at West-town School. I was engaged, in the girls' department, to remind them, it was not once entering into the narrow way, and making a few sacrifices, that would do; but a steady, watchful state of mind, to receive further manifestations of duty was needful; that we may experience the humility and tenderness, renewed from time to time, which we felt in the day of our first visitation; and in which we were made willing to give up all that was required of us. Herein alone we should experience preservation, and a growth in the Truth. I was also drawn forth in affectionate solicitude for the boys; that they might be favored with serious impressions, and engaged to enter into covenant with their Heavenly Father, that if He would give them bread to eat and raiment to put on, He should be their God, and they would serve Him. Though we are not often permitted to see fruit produced by the labor bestowed, yet it is our duty to be diligent in sowing the seed which the great Seedsman furnishes, morning or evening, not knowing which shall prosper. He can give the increase if He pleases, and if there be none, the faithful servants will be clear.

21st. Our Yearly Meeting was unusually large on the men's side this year, and the business conducted with religious weight and much harmony. The state of the Society is not, however, settled, and all the members thoroughly united as branches of the true Vine; deriving strength and wisdom from the same Divine source. A painful sense is often attendant, that there are some who would exercise an influence that arises from a worldly spirit, that loves its own, and is at enmity with the cross of Christ, and the government of his Spirit. Such as these cry out for liberty and liberality. They are ready to confederate with men of the world in plans of benevolence; and could they have the predominance, they would draw the Society away from the sure foundation, and from a humble and steady reliance on the guidance of the Great Head; whose right alone it is to direct the affairs of his church. But there is also a body of exercised members, who desire to have their loins girded, and lights burning, waiting for the coming of their Lord, and who dare not be active in their own will and wisdom. These are baptized into death; having the sentence of death in themselves, not to trust in themselves, but in God who raises the dead, and gives ability to stand for his cause. May their number increase, and the arms of their hands be made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob.

Fifth month 12th. Accompanied by my beloved friend Henry Cope, I set out to attend the Yearly Meeting of Virginia, held at Cedar Creek, having minutes of the unity of our Monthly Meeting therewith. Travelling by railroads and steamboats has now become so rapid, that we reached Taylorsville, about thirteen miles distant from N. Crenshaw's at Cedar Creek, by three o'clock the next day after leaving home; where we were met by carriages and taken to his hospitable residence. The Quarterly Meeting held on the 14th, was small; on the men's side, reports were received from but one Monthly Meeting; the remaining two being nearly extinct through the removal or decease of the members.

The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders consisted of seven men and three women. On first-day a very large company of persons came together, who, from their deportment, manifested that they had very little acquaintance with silent meetings, or spiritual worship; some talking; and many going in and out of the house. After two or three Friends had spoken, and there had been a time of silence, it appeared right for me to rise with the expressions of Christ, “Many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom shall be cast out.” From which I was led to hold forth the doctrine, that those who were favored with various opportunities of spiritual improvement, and neglected them, were in danger of being cast off; while others, whose privileges were few, but who made a right use of them, would be gathered to the innumerable company that surrounds the throne. The necessity of witnessing the work of religion in the heart, by which we are prepared to glorify God in the highest, and experience peace and good will towards all men, was opened. That where this is known, wars and fightings come to an end; and thus the kingdom of Christ will gradually take the possession of the gates of its enemies; until the kingdoms of this world become the kingdoms of our Lord and his Christ. The universality of Divine love, with many other points of Christian doctrine, was opened; a degree of solemnity spread over the company, and I believe impressions of a serious nature were made on some minds.

On the way to Flemming Bates', the horses pressed so much on the side of a bank, as to run the carriage on a stump; by which we were overturned. I was much alarmed at the perilous situation in which my companion was placed; he being between the front of the carriage and the corner of the fence, lest he should be crushed; but the horses being stopped he was rescued, with only a slight injury. I was very thankful for the preservation of his life. It felt awful to me, the apprehension, that I might have to return without him; which brought over me the seriousness of setting out from home, and being the means of taking away the valuable parent and head of a family, who might never return to them. Many times did I feel that I had great cause for gratitude, that none of the company were seriously injured; and I thought it might have been permitted to show us what poor, frail creatures we are; and how unable to keep ourselves from danger; and that it was needful we should keep constantly on the watch, under a humble, reverent sense, towards the Lord, of our insignificance, and unworthiness of all his favors; that so He might have mercy upon us, and preserve us by his power.

The Yearly Meeting was very small; and though there are a few exercised members, who desire the right maintenance of the testimonies of Truth; yet it appeared to me doubtful whether it is held to the honor of the great Head, and the real benefit of the few who compose it. As the way opened for it, we endeavored to strengthen the hands of the exercised ones, and to counsel and warn those, who appeared to be under little or no weight, in relation to the right holding of such a meeting; or of conducting themselves out of it with decorum, and a seriousness becoming the occasion. The meeting closed on fourth-day afternoon. In the evening, at our lodgings, we had a large company of young persons, mostly quite gay, invited to sit with us; and I was drawn forth to call them to the duty of watchfulness and sobriety; lest their adversary, the devil, who is ever walking about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, should lead them off, by his temptations, into a land of pits and snares, and great distress. They were affectionately invited to come to Christ Jesus, and take his yoke upon them; that they might know Him to strip them of their vain ornaments, and by the baptizing and sanctifying power of his grace, prepare them for Him to tabernacle in their hearts and fit them for service in his church. They seemed brought under serious impression and retired, I apprehended, in a different frame of mind from what they would have done, had we not been faithful with them. Next day we rode to Taylorsville; lodged at a tavern, and next morning took the cars for Fredericksburg; from there to the Potomac, where we went on board the steamboat for Washington; which city we reached about half past three o'clock, and at half past five, again seated ourselves in the cars for Baltimore.

On seventh-day afternoon we arrived at our homes, and I found my beloved family well, with the exception of my oldest son, who for some time has appeared to be in a decline, and had gone to one of my brothers at Springfield, to try the benefit of country air. I soon made him a visit, and found him more unwell than I expected. After remaining in the country a few weeks, and appearing to derive no benefit from the change, but continuing to grow weaker; he was desirous to return to the city, and was accordingly brought home.

He had lived an unblemished life; and though his business subjected him to the company of people of the world, of great variety of character, he was unusually circumspect in his deportment; and has drawn from many of them, sentiments of much respect for his example. He conducted himself with invariable respect for his parents and their judgment; and never departed in dress from the usual simplicity observed amongst us. Although he had thus lived, and was much beloved and approved by his friends; when he saw the inevitable result of his disease; his mind was brought under great exercise, that he might be prepared for the awful event. Speaking of the exercises he underwent, at Springfield, he said: “The conflict I passed through for two days and nights, is indescribable. It seemed as if everything wrong that I had done, from my childhood to that day, was brought before me; and, at last, in mercy, I received an evidence that they were all forgiven and blotted out.” I felt calm and peaceful, notwithstanding this comfortable assurance, he underwent great reduction, and was often brought into close searching of heart, lest he should be deceived. Being thus left to struggle with the evil suggestions of Satan, and to feel his own weakness, he many times apprehended there remained a veil between him and his Heavenly Father, which he said he could not rend; and, at one time, under these sensations, he said: “I feel like a poor, condemned criminal.” He, however, experienced, at times, this state of mind to be changed; and was enabled to acknowledge the goodness and mercy of God; and when visited by some of his young friends, he imparted suitable counsel; particularly to those in business, against the spirit of the world; and their being drawn away after the acquisition of wealth. In such a situation as this, into which he was brought, he remarked, What would wealth do for any? It would then be found that earthly possessions were of no value whatever, to a soul in the prospect of eternity. He became more and more withdrawn from his outward concerns, and seldom said much about them.

His time was chiefly spent in silent meditation; and he manifested a solidity of spirit, and deep feeling of seriousness, becoming the situation of one who was gradually approaching the termination of his earthly career. He appeared to have acquired much command over himself; so that he endured with patience the tediousness of a lingering consumption.

At one time, he supplicated thus, in a very solemn and humble manner: “Oh, Lord Jesus, be with me through the valley and shadow of death! Oh, righteous Father, wash me and make me clean in the blood of the holy Jesus!” After this, his mind appeared to be calm and settled; and near his close, when it was supposed he would speak no more, he seemed to receive a full assurance, that every obstruction was taken out of the way, and distinctly and audibly said: “I am now ready to go;” and on the morning of the 5th of Seventh month, 1841, his redeemed spirit was released from the conflicts and trials of time.

Chapter XII

1841

Religious Visit to North Carolina Yearly Meeting

1841, Ninth month 17th. Having for some time believed it would be my duty to pay a religious visit to the meetings of North Carolina and Virginia Yearly Meetings, I spread the subject before the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, and obtained their certificates of unity and sympathy with me, and liberating me for the service. It was no small trial to engage in such a visit; requiring much time and labor to reach the meetings in prospect; but it appeared to me, that my own peace and growth in the Truth, were concerned in giving up faithfully to do what the Great Head of the church allotted for my service.

Many experienced Friends expressed their gladness that I was drawn into that part of the vineyard; and desired my encouragement and strength; which was a comfort. Not only the unity of the brethren, but their affectionate desires for us, are helpful. They show they are alive to the prosperity of Truth; and they give encouragement to the stripped and tried servant, who has the labor to perform. A number of the solid members of the Meeting for Sufferings, which met on the day we set off, manifested their affectionate feeling for me, in this way; which savored of the precious fellowship of the Gospel, and was truly cheering. The weather was wet and stormy; but my companion J. Hacker, and myself, rode down to West-town; and the next day reached London-Britain. We attended their meeting on first-day, where I felt much sympathy with the few there, who are endeavoring to hold up the testimonies of the Gospel in the sight of their neighbors; many of whom have separated from the Society. Some ability was furnished to encourage them to hold on in the right way, that they may draw the children into a love of the Truth, and become the salt of the neighborhood, and lights to those around them. The necessity of regeneration, that they may be renewed in the image which Adam lost by transgression, was also presented to others who were invited to take the cross of Christ upon them, and thereby know Him to be their Savior indeed. In the afternoon, we rode over the Susquehanna to Deer Creek; and on second-day, the 20th, proceeded to Baltimore. Several Friends visited us in the evening, which we passed in agreeable conversation, on several subjects connected with the cause of Truth and righteousness; it ended peacefully, and, I trust, with some instruction to us all.

Having obtained from our friend Hugh Balderston, a draft of the route to Goose Creek, we set out in the morning, and rode to Rockville, on the Georgetown Turnpike, and put up at a public house. The thought of the long distance we must ride to reach meetings in Tennessee, is sometimes trying; but under all, the sustaining goodness and mercy of our Heavenly Father is felt to be near; speaking peace, when the mind is kept chaste unto Him, and a fervent desire is maintained, that the thoughts of the heart may be preserved in purity; seeking to stand prepared to do his will, whenever He may call for any service. Above all things, it is desirable to be kept in his fear, and clothed with a fervent travail for the exaltation of Christ's kingdom of holiness and truth amongst mankind universally. Alas! what wickedness abounds in the earth; and in these Southern States, the crime of slavery. The appearance of the man and the child of color, fills me with distress and mourning for his degradation, and the sins of his unrighteous master.

Something requiring the attention of a smith about the carriage, after he [a colored man] had completed it, I asked him if he carried on the business for himself? He replied, “No; but for the man who gave some directions at the carriage; he gave eight hundred dollars for me, cash; a good deal,” he said, “when my life was not insured.” He spoke as if he was indifferent to his situation; but it seemed astonishing to me, that the Lord's noble creature, man, should be held as the property of another, and forcibly prevented from using his own strength and ingenuity for his own benefit and profit. I felt sad in leaving him his efforts to appear cheerful, seemed a cover to his reflections. A man who, by his trade, could make several dollars a day, and yet not a cent could he call his own, or appropriate to his own use, unless given to him by his master; all he got, he said, was food and clothing.

22nd. Passed through several small villages, and generally a poor, worn-out country; much of it appeared to be deserted some of the houses of the former owners were in ruins; impressing the mind of the contemplative spectator with sadness, at the proof it furnishes of the blasting effects of slaveholding. We ferried the Potomac, and rode through Leesburg in Virginia, to Goose Creek, and attended the regular meeting, on fifth-day.

The company of Friends was very small, but steady in the support of the meeting. We sympathized with them in their stripped state; and through the goodness of the Lord, were led to administer a word of encouragement; which tendered our hearts together, and, we trusted, had a comforting and strengthening effect upon the little band.

The next morning, before leaving the Friend's house where we lodged, I felt drawn to impart counsel to the members of the family, on the necessity of keeping close to the Captain of our salvation; that they may live and act under his Divine guidance; and be concerned to lead their children in the path which the Lord casts up for the ransomed and redeemed ones to walk in.

24th. The weather wet; but we were best satisfied to set out for Hopewell; which we reached before sundown. On seventh-day we held no meeting, as the Friends lay much scattered, and in the afternoon visited Lewis Neal, now in the ninety-fifth year of his age. He told us, that three of the Friends who were banished from Philadelphia, in the time of the revolutionary war, were billetted at his house; spoke of the sickness and death of Jno. Hunt and T. Gilpin and also of the residence of Israel, John and James Pemberton, while in exile. The trials of that day, he remarked, no one could have a full conception of, but those who witnessed them. It was interesting to hold converse with so aged a man, who had been an eyewitness of facts, relating to the trials those banished Friends underwent.

We attended Hopewell Meeting, where we sat a pretty good length of time, before there was sufficient clearness to say anything; but at length, through Divine kindness, the spring was a little opened; and the importance of waiting upon the Father of lights, from whom every good and perfect gift comes, was brought into view. The necessity of taking up the cross, denying ourselves, and following the Lord Jesus, was pressed upon the middle-aged and younger members; by which alone they can know their hearts cleansed and sanctified, and made fit temples for the Lord, by his Spirit, to dwell in. The power of Truth rose into dominion, and many were contrited; and I hope it terminated to the refreshment of those who are right-minded. I was humbled under this renewed evidence of Divine condescension. We rode, after the meeting to Aaron H. Griffith's, about two miles from Winchester, and lodged.

27th. We have had clear weather three days, and having rested two, we set out this morning up the Winchester Valley, on our route to Tennessee; and in the afternoon, put up at a tavern, on the bank of the north fork of the Shenandoah, thirty-eight miles from Winchester. At the supper, I asked the landlady, if the farmers carried on their business with white or colored laborers? She said, with both; they were numerous here. I expressed the opinion, that they would get along better with free laborers; but she did not concur, though she admitted there was a less number of slaves in this part of Virginia than on the more eastern side. I enquired of another person, whether the slaves, set to do a piece of work, would do it without being overlooked? He answered in the affirmative; and said there were many severe masters in that neighborhood, who would have their work done, and the slaves knew it must be done.

The landlord told us in the morning, that he did not sell ardent spirits; he would not inebriate a man nor suffer one who was intoxicated, to remain on his premises. I took the opportunity to remark, it was a satisfaction that he declined selling spirits and I thought it would add to their comfort, if they were to free themselves from slavery. “Tell us,” said he, “how we shall get clear of it, and we will do so.” I replied there was something in his own breast which would tell him how it was to be done. He said, he thought the slaves were better off under some persons to take care of them, than those who were free. To which I rejoined, there was in every one an inherent desire for freedom, let their circumstances be what they may. The people of this country contended with Great Britain against what they considered an imposition, though we were not deprived of our liberty; and the colored people have the same feelings; and though many of the free black people were degraded, as were also many whites, yet some of the former possessed property, and were very respectable. Though he kept himself cool, and refrained from any reflections; yet I thought the observations on the subject were unpleasant to him.

Tenth month 1st. We have had fine weather, and have ridden about thirty-six miles a day, through a very hilly country; some parts of it pretty well cultivated, and much of it very poor; though, in general, it is in a better condition than the eastern side of Virginia. Several of the taverns at which we have latterly stopped, are poorly furnished; no carpets on the floor; and in other respects, do not indicate the progress in refinement and good management, which may be seen in similar establishments in the free States. Our landlord, last evening, went into some defense of the Government, in removing the Indians to the west. I told him the natives had as good right to their land and houses, as he had to his; and the Government might as well turn him off his property, and take possession of it, as to treat Indians so. He thought there was a hand of Providence in it, as they were heathens; and while they remained, Christianity would not spread. I remarked, they were believers in, and worshipped the Almighty, under the character of “the Great Spirit;” and some of them read the Scriptures, and had joined some of the different Christian sects. But why did they not send away the colored people? the slaves; many of whom were no better than heathen; why did they keep them among them? To this he made no answer. I told him they had coveted the Indians' lands; and acted on the same principle that Ahab and Jezebel did, when he wanted Naboth's vineyard; and she procured men to destroy Naboth; and then told the king to go and take possession. He said he did not like the principle. I hoped he did not, nor the practice either.

The degraded state of the free blacks among slaveholders, so far as instances of it can be found, is referred to by them, as a palliative for the iniquity of the system; which, I believe, requires a degree of hardness of heart, in all of them, to enable them to justify it; and without which, they cannot suppress the convictions of Truth in their own breasts. These convictions, I have no doubt, do often arise, and they resort to various expedients to suppress them. The example of other States, and latterly of the British, in liberating the slaves within their jurisdiction, must add force to these convictions; and whatever sophistry they resort to, in order to justify themselves, the testimony and the practice of others, prove that there is a way safely to liberate the slaves; and public opinion is constantly rising in greater force against the horrible system.

This morning we stopped to view the astonishing, stupendous Natural Bridge over Cedar Creek. From the top of it to the water, is said to be two hundred and ten feet. The mass of stone forming the arch, thirty feet through; the distance from the under curve of the arch to the surface of the water below, one hundred and eighty feet; and the chord of the arch ninety feet. We are struck with admiration in standing under the huge superstructure, and contemplating the vast pile of stone so compactly placed; forming walls and abutments; and, thrown over such a space, an arch, of the enormous weight of stone, that rests upon them. Nor are the comparative perfectness of the arch, the regularity of the under curve, and the evenness of the surface less wonderful; when we reflect that it has not been effected by any force, acting according to the ordinary laws of nature; but by some extraordinary convulsion, of which we can have no adequate idea; but which we should suppose, would have left the standing masses of stone, craggy and without any such appearance of harmony and regularity as that in which they now are. The length of time before we hear a stone, thrown from the top, strike the water below,—two or three seconds perhaps,—gives striking proof of the depth of the abyss into which it falls.

The tavern keeper, with whom we last put up, enquired at the breakfast table, whether we were Quakers? and whether they always had preaching in their meetings? We replied that we were Quakers, or Friends; but we do not appoint any to preach. We believe it right to meet together in silence to wait upon our Almighty Creator, to receive ability to worship Him in spirit and in truth; and that the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the Head of his church, gives the gift for the Gospel ministry to whom He pleases; and such whom He sets apart for that service, preach as they are moved to it by Him; but we often hold our meetings in silence. I also told him that we took no pay for preaching; that we followed some business for a livelihood; maintained ourselves, and when traveling, paid our own expenses. When a minister had not the means to do this, the Society took care that he should not lack, but they paid him no salary. He was very ignorant of Friends, and seemed rather surprised at this. We gave him some books to inform him of our principles, for which he thanked us. He also enquired whether we approved of war? I told him that we do not. He supposed, as we do not fight, we paid the fine. I said, we neither engage in war ourselves, nor can we pay for a substitute; but when we are called on for a fine, we suffer our goods to be taken; and some are put in jail. This also puzzled him; as we knew the fine must be paid, he saw no reason why we should not do it. I observed there was the difference between voluntarily paying, and passively suffering the penalty prescribed by law.

Tenth month 2nd. We have now been six days on the road, from Winchester to Christiansburg, about two hundred and nineteen miles. The weather mostly dry, until this afternoon, and much of the road very good. Here we felt ourselves disappointed, in being thrown into the company of a number of boarders, who seemed hardly able to keep their eyes off of us; perhaps having never before seen a person in our garb, or been in their society, so as to hold conversation with them. We have found the people of this valley, generally very ignorant of Friends and their principles.

5th. In the last three days we have travelled but ninety-four miles, owing to the stony and muddy condition of the road, which made traveling very fatiguing to us, and wearing to the horses. During this period, I have had several conversations with persons of apparent respectability, on the enslaved condition of the blacks. All admit that it is a dreadful system, and profess a willingness to liberate them, could they see the way to do it with safety; but I do not believe there is much sincerity in these professions. As long as they can keep them as servants, to labor for them, so that the master and his children may live in idleness and luxury, and pride, very few will look for any way to free them. They love ease too much.

6th. After a very rough, fatiguing ride, we stopped at a low log building, and enquired of the mistress of the house, if we could have accommodation for the night? She made some difficulty, but eventually consented to take us in. Though the appearance of things was not promising, they were clean, and we made out pretty well. Not being able to get any information respecting Friends at Limestone, we hired a man to pilot us over to Mark Reeve's, near Elizabethtown; where we were received and entertained with hospitality, and one of his sons went with us the following morning to Henry Marsh's; and on the 9th we had a meeting at Limestone. Proceeded in the afternoon to Rheatown; lodged at John Marshall's, and attended the meeting, called New Hope, on first-day. Some notice being spread, the house was pretty well filled by Friends and others; many of whom appearing to be strangers to silent waiting upon the Lord, in order to perform Divine worship, soon became restless, and went out. I found it necessary to keep inward, and not give way to the spirit of restlessness, which was craving words; and the Lord brought my mind into a state of simple reliance upon Him. After a time, the exhortation of Christ to his disciples, when trouble came upon them, was brought before me; “In your patience possess you your souls,” and I was led to show the importance of learning to stand still; especially when met for the solemn purpose of Divine worship; that we may know Christ to manifest Himself to be in the midst; to teach the humble, attentive soul, and to enable it to worship the Father in spirit and in truth. Some of the fundamental doctrines of the Gospel were opened; the necessity of being broken off from the wild olive tree, and grafted into the true Vine, was pressed upon the people, and a tender invitation held out to those who had spent their substance in an improper way of living, to yield to the convictions of Divine Grace, that they might be brought to the Father's house, where there is bread enough and to spare. The meeting ended with thanksgiving and praise for the Lord's goodness, extended to us, and supplication for his continued preservation.

From this place we were taken by Aaron Hammer, down to Newberry, in Blount County; where we held a meeting on sixth-day, the 15th, which was a favored time; the states of individuals being spoken to, and the necessity of obedience to the righteous law written in the heart enforced; and the young were encouraged to come up in their places, in the Truth. An elder, after meeting, expressed his satisfaction, and that he considered it a favored time. We came away with peace; and rode about twelve miles to a house of private entertainment, where we had poor accommodations; neither of the windows in our lodging-room having any sash, and one of them no shutter.

Next day we passed through Knoxville; breakfasted there, and reached William H. Morgan's, at Lost Creek, in the afternoon.

17th. Attended Lost Creek Meeting. Being first-day, a large concourse of people assembled, but few of whom seemed acquainted with having their minds stayed upon the Lord. Accustomed to associate Divine worship with preaching and vocal prayer, the time of silence seemed long to some, and yet they behaved with propriety generally. The way at last appeared to open, to speak upon the effect of vital religion to bring the mind of man off from dependence upon man, who cannot save his brother, nor give a ransom for him; and to call them to Christ, the great mediator and minister of the New Covenant; that they might learn of Him. The doctrine of the universality of his appearance in the heart; of the angel which John saw flying through the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to them that dwell on the earth, of every nation, kindred, tongue and people, under heaven; of Christ, as the administrator of the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, by which He burns up the chaff; He who sits as a refiner with fire, and a fuller with soap, to purify and prepare the sons of Levi to offer offerings in righteousness; our propitiation for sin, and Advocate with the Father, were a little opened; and those who loved Him with sincerity, were encouraged to dedication. The Truth at times, seemed, in measure, to prevail over the meeting, and the people were solemnized; but after it was over, I felt tried, lest the humbling, tendering power of it, had not reached the heart, as much as is desirable; which depressed my spirits, and produced fear that I had not kept as close to my guide as I ought; but I could not discover where I had missed my way.

In the afternoon, we walked from William Morgan, Sr.'s, to his nephew's; and had a religious opportunity with his family. In the evening, we had also a tendering time at the house of the above aged Friend; several young persons being present; which was a comfortable close of this day's labor. A little humiliation is both necessary and beneficial; and our Divine Master knows when and how to administer it. May all his servants kiss the rod, and cleave to Him when He appoints it. I believe He sees fit to withdraw the evidence of his approbation, and also the capacity to judge of our labors, at times when we have not willfully done wrong, that we may be kept in the nothingness of self.

In the course of the visit in Lost Creek Quarterly Meeting, we found Friends mostly in low circumstances, and living in a plain, rough manner; some of their houses having few lights of glass in them; their children partaking of little opportunity for education, either at home or at school. In many instances, this is occasioned by the lack of means, and their time being mostly occupied at their work, to get bread and clothing. I felt sympathy with them, and could but contrast their condition with that of many affluent members in other parts of the Society, whose children are brought up in delicacy and luxury, and know nothing of the difficulties and privations to which the children of Friends in these parts are subjected. If a large part of the surplus wealth of rich Friends was applied to aid their fellow members, in educating their offspring, and in spreading the writings of Friends; much good would be done. It would tend to keep the hearts of the rich open to the trials of their fellow members, and to the great cause of the Redeemer's kingdom; which would be a blessing to themselves, by keeping out a covetous, parsimonious attachment to this world's treasures; while it would confer an important benefit upon others.

We visited a school which was taught by a Friend, a few of the scholars being members. It was in an open, log building, without a window; what light they had, came in through the openings between the timbers, and at the door; there was no floor but the earth; and no fire-place or stove. A little fire in the middle of the room, was the only means of warming it; the smoke passing out of any avenue it found. The children, though with cheerful countenances, were clothed with scanty covering, nearly all without shoes or stockings. Their situation appeared unfavorable for acquiring the necessary portion of useful learning, not only from these circumstances, but from the incompetency of the teacher, and the general habits and sentiments of their parents and caretakers. When we reflect upon the importance of a right education, and the little effort made by many to guard their children, by watching over and restraining, and instructing them in the great duties of life; cultivating their minds, and leading them into habits of cleanliness and industry, and warning them of the dangers of improper associations, and of every description of immoral taint; above all, by precept and example, inculcating the indispensable obligations of living in the fear of Almighty God, and working out their salvation, through the aid of his Spirit; we cannot but feel for children who partake of very few of these advantages; and desire that their parents were more aroused to a lively sense of the obligation which rests on them, towards their tender offspring. Many have difficulties in providing for their families; but were they more devoted to the love and service of their Heavenly Father, way would be made, either by his blessing, on their efforts, or through the help of the Society, to educate them in schools of suitable character, and to draw them into a love of our religious principles and testimonies. A blessing, I believe, has rested upon the honest concern and labor of Friends in many parts of our Society, in watching over and educating the youth; and in many instances, I trust, it will prepare the ground for the good seed which the Son of Man sows, and which will bring forth abundant fruit, under his blessing; and thus be instrumental in preserving many amongst us, who will be qualified to maintain the doctrines and testimonies of the Gospel, to the Lord's praise and the comfort and enlargement of the Church.

20th. We had intended going on from Rheatown, to cross the mountains into North Carolina; but a Friend offering to go as guide, provided we waited until the following morning, we accordingly stayed the Preparative Meeting at New Hope; and being impressed with a belief that Friends are suffering great loss in letting the discipline fall, by passing over, in a very superficial manner, marriages accomplished in violation of it, the way opened to set forth the importance of the church government, established in the wisdom and authority of Christ, amongst us. It is only as the members individually live under the subjecting power of the cross of Christ, that they are prepared to support the ark of the testimonies, and administer the discipline as it ought to be; in the same power and wisdom in which it was instituted. “The righteous holds on his way, and he that has clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” These are not drawn aside from a firm and straightforward support of the cause of Truth, by a false tenderness towards others, whose eyes have become blinded; and in the faithful discharge of their religious duty, they grow in spiritual strength, and are a blessing to the church. Where a body of such members is preserved, and the discipline is rightly maintained by them, the Society is kept in a healthy and vigorous state. The young members growing up under their example, will receive right views of church government; the motions and openings of Divine Grace in their minds, will be confirmed and enforced by the faithfulness of such upright men and women; and thus successors are prepared to receive gifts from the great Head of the church, to be occupied in his service, in their day. What a comfort and strength these are to one another, and to their elders in the Truth. When ministers who keep to their gifts, come among them, they partake of the help of their spirits, and the “spring shut up “is often opened, to the mutual refreshment of the visitors and the visited. How different from those meetings, where a worldly spirit has overspread, and darkened and benumbed the professors of the christian religion.

But where the rules of Discipline are let fall, or administered by those who have lost ground, through disobedience to the convictions of Divine light, and whose hands are thereby weakened, desolation spreads; wrong things prevail; and though something of the form may be left, the power of Godliness is lost amongst such a people. The young members, who are at times favored with the visitations of the love of God, are very likely to be turned aside by the evil example of older ones, who seem to be the leaders; and thus such meetings continue to dwindle, until they can no longer be held with reputation. The salt has lost its savor, and men of the world trample it under foot, because they can perceive such are no Quakers in reality. In this way many have become an ill-savor, and caused the way of Truth to be evilly spoken of, to the grief of the sincere hearted, and the obstruction of the spread of the kingdom of Christ, through us as a people.

Tenth month 21st. We rode to M. Reeves, near Elizabethtown; and the next morning, with one of his sons to go before us through some difficult fords; we set off, the weather cloudy, and rode up Doe River; crossing it six times in about that number of miles. We had heard much of the difficulties some Friends had encountered, which produced gloomy anticipations of the journey through these mountains; but we were mercifully preserved from any apparent dangers, or meeting with any accident. It snowed or hailed the greater part of the day; the atmosphere was chilling, and we were quite ready to stop at the house of a farmer, in this rough country, after a ride of twenty-nine miles, where we were hospitably entertained. Our course, the next day, lay through deep ravines; along streams of water which we forded many times; and over the Stone Mountain, whose lofty peaks were whitened with snow. When we reached the summit, the snow lay about half an inch deep, and the air was quite cold; so that the snow did not disappear, though the sun shone quite clearly nearly all the day. This was laborious traveling, as we walked up most of the ascents; and there was little to cheer us, but the belief of being in the way of our religious duty; which makes hard things easy and bitter things sweet.

First-day the 24th, brought us to Wilkesboro, about eleven miles from the Blue Ridge, the last or most eastern of these ranges of mountains, and said to be the highest ground in the United States. When we reached the highest point, over which this road passes, we stopped to take a survey of the magnificent scene spread before us. Standing on the edge of a vast precipice, we had at our feet mountains piled on one another, and deep ravines intervening; to whose bottoms the eye could not penetrate. It was the grandest sight of the kind I ever saw.

The road was generally good, and the rise as well as descent being gradual, made the traveling much more pleasant than the two preceding days. Some spots are cultivated, affording good grass and corn; but here, as in other parts, we see decayed buildings and deserted clearings, and where the inhabitants still remain, the land affords but a scanty subsistence beyond the supply of food; it being impracticable to obtain many of the comforts, and few or none of the refinements or luxuries of civilized christian life.

25th. We got to Anderson Johnson's at Hunting Creek; whose wife is a daughter of David Brooks, a minister, with whom my uncle, Thomas Scattergood, was traveling as companion, when he first appeared in the ministry. To find ourselves once more amongst those of the same religious profession, imparted pleasant sensations. This Friend, we were informed, was prosecuted for aiding a slave to make his escape; and though the charge was entirely unfounded, yet from false evidence, he was amerced to the value of the runaway, and costs and damages, amounting to about twelve hundred dollars. This iniquitous decision seemed likely to ruin him; he was compelled to sell his horses and cattle, and part of his house furniture, and with much difficulty made up the sum, and prevented his prosecutors from selling his farm; and thereby throwing him and his dependent family houseless upon the world. Now, more than seventy years old, he is unable to labor hard, and from the great loss and the difficulty in selling produce, he has to endure privations which, at their time of life, he and his afflicted wife ought not to be subjected to.

On the 26th, had an appointed meeting at Hunting Creek, and on the 27th and 28th attended those of Forbush and Deep Creek. The low state of the life of true religion among many, was cause of mournful feelings on their account. To see the dwindling condition of many, and the effect which their example has upon the younger members, leading them into an association with light and frivolous company, produced apprehensions, that unless there is a turning about, and giving themselves up to the restraining power of the cross, the Society must run out in these parts. Divine goodness was mercifully near, qualifying to labor for their help, especially in the last meeting. I never, perhaps, felt more destitute of a lively feeling of the presence of the Helper of Israel, and very much gave up expectation of saying anything; but after sitting long under the burden of a worldly spirit, there seemed a little pointing to express my fearfulness, of the danger of that spirit overspreading the professors under our name among them; and reciting the testimony of the Apostle that, “To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace;” the truth gradually rose, and I have rarely known more strength to labor with such, in the spirit and fervor of the Gospel, to turn from their ways and to come under the heart-changing power of the Grace of Christ Jesus, than in this meeting. Some were softened, and prayer was offered that He, who knows our condition, would baptize and re-baptize, until the heart was prepared for Him to dwell in; yet in the midst of judgment He was interceded with to remember mercy, lest the spirit which He had made should fail before Him. A valuable minister said at the close of the meeting, it was deep wading; and he thought if he had been faithful, he should have said something to open the way for me. As it had ended well, it appeared to me best as it was; having nothing to depend upon but the Lord alone. I came away humbly thankful for this renewed evidence that I was not forsaken, and went with Wm. Dobbins, a sensible, devoted Friend, to his home.

29th. Accompanied by him, we rode to Chestnut Creek, on the Blue Ridge; put up at William Davis', and held an appointed meeting there next afternoon. Here, the obligation to forgive those who trespass against us, and the impossibility that revenge can dwell in the heart of a true disciple and follower of Christ, were brought before me; and though it seemed singular to open such views in a little company of Friends and a few others, yet I could not see any other way, and accordingly gave up to it. There were other gospel truths declared and enforced; and after the opportunity, I found a man who attracted my attention, when delivering some close things, was a Mormon preacher; which sect of visionary people are represented as arming themselves, in an extensive settlement in the western country, and holding out the idea that the sword is to be used in making way for their impostures.

31st. Rode down this steep, high mountain, about the middle of the day; stopped by a stream of water, and with some provisions which we had brought for ourselves and horses, refreshed ourselves, and then pursued our way back to the house of our friend. Here we had an opportunity with his children, and the partners of the married ones; in which the way opened to warn some against a carnal, worldly spirit, and to encourage all to yield their hearts to the convicting power of Divine grace; that they might become useful members of religious society.

Eleventh month 1st. Reached Salem in the evening, a settlement of the Moravians. The title to the property, comprising a large tract of many hundred acres, is vested, we were informed, in their bishop. The land is leased out, so that it cannot go into the hands of others, and they suffer none of any other profession to settle amongst them. The person who keeps the large and commodious hotel where we stayed, we were told, is the only exception.

2nd. Stopped at J. S.'s, and dined, and made arrangements for meetings at Dover and Hopewell. On the road we called at a smith's shop to get a burr screwed up, and stepping out, I trod on a round stick, turned my right foot under me so as to wrench it out of the socket. Though soon replaced, it gave me great pain, and prevented me from walking about, unless with much difficulty.

We came on after bathing it, and put up at the boarding-school, with our kind and much valued friends Dougan and Asenath Clark. Next day attended New Garden Meeting, where I felt engaged to encourage the young people to receive the Truth in its visitations to their souls; by which they would be preserved from the temptations that abound in the world, and lay the foundation for usefulness in the church. Dougan Clark accompanied us to Hopewell, to an appointed meeting; where the way opened to press the necessity of rightly considering the dispensation of sickness, with which that neighborhood has been visited; that they might improve by it. The righteous were removed from the evil to come, and those who are still spared, are loudly called on to consider their latter end, and diligently improve the remnant of their days; so that when the summons is sounded in their ears, “Steward, give an account of your stewardship,” they may be ready to render it with joy. It was a serious and impressive opportunity, and closed with supplication to the Father of mercies, that those afflictions might be sanctified to some. Returned to the school with feelings of peace.

4th. Went out to the meeting of Hopewell; in which I was distressed with an outside show of religion, where the power of godliness was lacking; and though it was hard to get at anything, and a trial to deliver what at last arose, yet I saw no other way than plainly to open what appeared to me the state of some. I endeavored to keep on the clothing of charity, and to speak with fear; and Truth gradually arose, so that at last I was enabled to labor with fervency, to draw such into a close examination of themselves; that they might experience the life and power of Christ to reign in them. The language of encouragement flowed to the states of others, of a different character, who had many trials to contend with; but who, if they did as the prophet directed the poor widow, to bake a cake for him first, the meal in the barrel should not waste, nor the oil in the cruse fail. We dined at O. P.'s, who piloted us to Deep River where we attended the Meeting for Sufferings, and the Meeting of Ministers and Elders.

My strained ankle gave me much uneasiness, at times, prevented me from walking to the meeting-house, about a quarter of a mile distant, and sometimes raised apprehensions, whether I should ever be able to walk as I had done. It was a trial to be thus disabled; not knowing whether it might not prevent me from steadily prosecuting the concern I was engaged in; yet I thought it might have been permitted, to teach me more caution and deliberation in my movements. In the full possession of the powers of body and mind, when we are also favored with the openings of the Spirit of Truth, and qualified to minister to the needs of the people, self may get up a little; and the creature, unless plunged down into poverty and suffering, may feel strong in the cause and work of the Lord. He has many ways to humble man, and purge away pride; and pain of body, frequently reminding him of his crippled and disabled condition, may contribute to keep him lowly, and lead him to depend more steadily on Him, who can heal diseases of body and mind.

On first-day, a large concourse of Friends and others assembled at New Garden, and after a time of silent waiting, a Friend having addressed the company, I apprehended it was my place to advert to the conversation, which our Lord gives, as having taken place between the rich man and Abraham; when he solicited him to send one from the dead to his five brethren, that they might not come into the place of torment; and Abraham finally replied to him, “If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.” From which it is evident, if man will not embrace the means already appointed for his salvation, no other will be granted; and that while he refuses to comply with the terms of acceptance, he would be likely to reject a miraculous visitation, sent for their confirmation. The grace of God appearing in the hearts of all men, was held up as the immediate means; and denying self, taking up the cross daily and following Christ, the terms laid down, upon which alone we can hope to partake of that salvation, which He has purchased for all those who obey Him. Christ's incarnation, sufferings, death, resurrection, ascension and glorification, wherein He is our propitiation for sin, and our intercessor with the Father, and his inward and spiritual appearance, knocking at the door of the heart for an entrance; his office as the great Baptizer of his people; sitting as a refiner with fire and a fuller with soap, in which He administers the one saving baptism with the Holy Ghost and fire, and prepares the heart as a temple for Him by his Spirit to dwell in, thus setting up his kingdom there, and ruling as Lord, Judge, Lawgiver and King, were treated on and supported by Scripture testimony. The Truth rose into a good degree of dominion, and our ancient friend Nathan Hunt, expressed his satisfaction, saying, “They were the doctrines he held and believed, and he was opposed to all innovation upon them.”

Second-day the 8th, commenced the Yearly Meeting for Discipline, which continued its sittings until the 12th inclusive. The business was conducted with much harmony throughout, and after hearing the reports from the respective Quarterly Meetings, an epistle of counsel was directed to be prepared on the different points of defection, referred to in the answers to the Queries. The subject of the guarded and religious education of the youth was brought into view, by reading the report of the Boarding School Committee; which furnished an opportunity to press upon Friends, a more deep and thorough attention to the right education of their children. The money which some parents might be laying up for them in the latter part of their lives, would never be of as much value to them, as when expended in giving them proper literary instruction, at a period of life when they were most capable of receiving it. If this period is suffered to pass, they may grow up in ignorance, and never be of that service in society which they ought to be.

A hope was entertained that the Boarding School would continue to be supported, and its benefits be extended amongst the youth of this Yearly Meeting. Making our home at the schoolhouse, gave us an opportunity of mingling with the committees; and being invited to sit with one appointed to consider the expediency of continuing the liberty to children not members to enter the school, all the strangers, with one voice, gave their judgment against it; both because it was not the original design, and would tend to expose our youth to the principles of others, but in our opinion, would diminish eventually the number of scholars, and consequently, destroy the institution, instead of contributing to its support. The committee adopted this sentiment, and it received the sanction of the Yearly Meeting. Many solid, young and middle-aged men attended the Yearly Meeting, who appeared to love the testimonies of Truth, and were devoted to the services of the Society.

On seventh-day morning I parted, in much affection, with my kind and esteemed friends D. and A. Clark, and went to Deep River; where we held a meeting with the members and others which proved a hard and laborious opportunity. After dinner, we rode to our friend John Carter's where we were comfortably quartered.

On first-day, 14th, we were at Springfield, where a considerable number of Friends and others convened; some of whom appear to be a seeking people, and not knowing where to find what they longed for, are wandering from place to place, and from one preacher to another. These were recommended to the gift of Grace in their own hearts; by receiving which they would come to have their eyes opened to see their conditions, and true faith be given them to believe in Christ their Savior who would feed them with the bread of life, and open in them the spring of living water; by which their souls would be refreshed and nourished up unto everlasting life. Christ was preached as the Author of this true faith, as the Rock on which the church is built; as the Captain of salvation, who only can arm his soldiers for the spiritual warfare; and who gives them victory over their soul's enemies. No man can come to the Father, but by Him; and it is only as He is revealed in the heart, by the same spirit which revealed Him to Peter, that any can have true and saving faith in Him; by which they lay hold of the offers of his love and mercy, and through the obedience of which, they obtain victory over the world, the flesh and the devil; and persevering to the end, inherit the promises, and are made partakers of that salvation, which He purchased for all those who receive and obey Him. It was a season of Divine regard; wherein I was greatly favored with utterance, and the presentation of many passages of Scripture, to show the nature of the Gospel dispensation, and to confirm the principles of Friends. It was cause of humble gratitude to our Holy Helper, that He was pleased to open the treasury of things, new and old, and qualify to exalt his great name, and call upon the people to come and enlist under the banner of the Prince of peace.

On second-day, J. P. piloted us to Piney Woods, about eight miles; a very reduced meeting. A fatal disease had prevailed there for several months, removing about one hundred out of five hundred persons, to their everlasting reward. It was thought some good effect had been produced upon a rough and rather dissipated people, by this awful visitation; but from the feelings which came over me in the meeting, and the description of doctrine I had to preach, it seemed to me, some still remained in a very crude state, with little regard for the restrictions of true religion.

We dined at the house of a sick Friend, and before going away, I was led to draw him into a consideration of the uncertainty of all earthly things, and the importance of having the day's work done in the daytime. For when the pale messenger is sent to our habitation, there can be no refusal of the summons; go we must, prepared or unprepared. We put up at J. P.'s, and in the morning had a religious opportunity with his family, encouraging the parents and children more faithfully to yield themselves to the Lord, and to the support of his cause.

Our friend John Carter went with us to Kennet, where we had another trying meeting with a few members; and yet some ability was felt to labor with them, and to intercede that their last days, through greater dedication to Christ, might become their best days. A Friend of this meeting offering to pilot us, we took an affectionate farewell of our beloved friend John Carter, and went on to the house of a Friend, whom we found sick in bed. This put us to a stand whether we might not be in danger of taking this fever, by lodging where it prevailed; and we accordingly told his wife, that as we wished to go through the Yearly Meeting, we felt cautious of exposing ourselves to the liability of sickness; so far as we could guard against it; and perhaps we had better go further. She said we could have a room, separate from all other parts of the house where we could lodge and remain, if we chose. Her offer was made with such hearty good will and desire to keep us that we made no further hesitation. A fire was soon kindled on the hearth in the chamber, and myself and companion, after having spent a little time with the invalid, retired to our comfortable apartment, where we ruminated on the singular transitions travelers like ourselves are subjected to, and the unfeigned kindness displayed by those we visit; and often by none more heartily, than those whose means are limited, and their accommodations of the simpler kind. Before setting out to meeting on the following morning, I did not feel easy without taking an opportunity with the father of the family, in the presence of his wife; in which I expressed the belief, that when disease assailed us, the Holy Spirit at times, made use of it as a means to show us our frailty, and the great uncertainty of all earthly possessions and enjoyments; that the gracious design of our Heavenly Father, in thus opening, to our view, our state, and the instability of all things here below, was to draw us from all inordinate pursuit and attachment to them; to redeem us from them, and set our affections on things that are above. When the message was delivered to Hezekiah, “Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live,” he turned his face to the wall and prayed; and fifteen years were added to his days. But if it should be the Lord's will to add fifteen days, or months, or years, it was of great moment that the present dispensation should be rightly improved; for we know not that such another offer of Divine love and help will be made.

The meeting was a reduced one, and after a season of silent waiting, the language was brought before me, “Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die; for I have not found your works perfect before God.” I felt tenderly for the stripped company, believing they had given way to discouragement, on account of the few who remained to bear the burden; and for lack of steadily looking to the unfailing Source of all strength, they had lost ground; the enemy had prevailed over them; and their works were not perfect before God. Though it is our duty to deliver plainly what the Master gives for the people, yet I felt desirous not to hurt the oil or the wine; but, as ability was given, to lay judgment to the line where it belonged, and to strengthen the things that remain, which might appear to be ready to die; and to encourage some to put their trust in the Lord Jehovah, in whom there remains everlasting strength. Strength that will last through all time, and through all trials, as we lean upon it, and lay hold of it.

Our hostess, who sat at the head of the gallery, looked as if her heart had been tenderly touched, and took leave of me very affectionately. A Friend afterwards told me, she was glad we had put up at their house, for she had been in quite a depressed and discouraged state of mind. Thus it appears that the hand of Divine Providence, at times, turns his children into places for the help of others; for had our guide told us that sickness was there, I doubt whether we should have gone.

We rode from the meeting-house to our friends J. and A. S.'s; where we found a pleasant resting-place. Attended their meeting, Centre, where I was led to speak of the value and effect of inward, united exercise of spirit before the Lord, that the life and power of Truth might be experienced to arise, and circulate from member to member. The church was compared to a body having members; and as each performed its function, it ministered to the benefit of others, and the body was thereby kept in a healthy condition. So it was in the mystical body and church of Christ; where every one maintains its place and performs its duty, strength would be preserved, and the circulation of Divine life would prevail from one to another. But where many were indifferent and negligent, this circulation was impeded, and the living members are burdened. Such negligent ones become stumbling-blocks, and choke up the wells of water; and this makes hard work for the few. Where one member suffers, the others suffer with it; and where one is honored, the rest rejoice with it. The necessity of making clean the inside of the cup and platter; for the Lord looks not on the countenance, nor the height of the stature, but at the heart, was enforced.

As the subject opened, the possibility and the obligation to become freed from sin, in this life, and the practice of some professed ministers of Christ, pleading for sin during life, being an evidence they are not his ministers, were brought into view. As Satan transforms himself into an angel of light, it is no marvel if his ministers should transform themselves into the appearance of Christ's ministers; but no fountain can at the same time send forth sweet water and bitter. “A good man out of the good treasure of the heart, brings forth good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure, brings forth evil things.” A tree is known by its fruit; when the fruit is bad, we pronounce the tree bad. Christ came to destroy the works of the devil.

He did not suffer, that man might sin with impunity; but gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works—not evil works. “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” We cannot follow Him and follow Satan at the same time. It was very unexpected to me to be thus drawn forth upon the necessity of being cleansed from all impurity; that we may partake of the fullness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ; but it is probable there was a cause.

We dined with an afflicted Friend and his daughter, with whom we had a little opportunity to manifest our sympathy, and desire that their trials may be blessed to them. Returned to J. Stanley's; and next morning, after acknowledging the refreshment it had afforded us, in being so kindly cared for under their roof, we set off in the rain for Providence Meeting Here we had a small company; nearly all plain people; and for a long time I felt unable to discover what they were. The language presented, “Who is blind but my servant; or deaf as my messenger that I sent?” but this did not appear to be designed for them. Then it revived, “I will bring the blind by a way they know not; I will lead them in paths which they have not known; I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight,” etc, and I found it necessary to wait patiently to see what the Lord would do. After a time, the condition of the Laodicean church came before me, as being descriptive of this people; and with fear and caution, I believed it right to stand up and bring into view the language of the Spirit to that ancient church. Many things of a close nature were delivered, under feelings of sincere desire for their help; and though there seemed few who had not fallen into great lukewarmness, yet the spirit of prayer was granted, to intercede for their revival.

On the 23rd, we had a meeting at New Salem, in which the call and qualification of a gospel minister were treated on. It was declared that no man could take this honor to himself, unless he is called of God; which call is by the revelation of Christ in the soul; through obedience to whom a preparation is experienced for the reception of a gift in the ministry. This is freely given by the Head of the church Himself, and is to be freely exercised, under his putting forth, without price or bargaining. The importance of professing Christians coming to wait upon Him, and not upon man, that they may receive the blessings and privileges provided for them in the gospel, was held up and enforced. In the afternoon, we rode to Marlborough.

We attended the meeting at Marlborough, being first-day; in which the state of things felt to be low. It appeared proper to sound an alarm amongst them, lest they become swallowed up by the world, and lost in a state of indifference to the work of their own salvation, and the support of the cause of Christ. The right education of their children; which is often neglected by parents becoming engrossed with schemes of business, was plainly spoken to, and parents solemnly called upon, to give more close and serious attention to the cultivation of the minds of their children, the proper care of their persons, and to subjugating their wills and passions, at an early period of life. They were urged not to withhold from them a suitable share of school instruction; so that they might not be sunk in ignorance, and feel themselves lessened by it. The happiness which resulted to parents and children, where they were joined in walking together in the right way of the Lord; promoting each other's best welfare; far outweighs any pecuniary advantages, arising from entire devotion to the pursuit of business. The toil and watchful care of such pious parents, would generally be amply repaid in old age, by the fruits of it in their offspring.

Then would these, under the influence of the power of religion, cherish and console their valued and declining parents; whose joy it would be, to see their sons and daughters established in the Truth, and as upright pillars, supporting the ark of its testimonies.

In the afternoon we set off for Back Creek, and in the evening reached the residence of our friend Phineas Nixon, where we were kindly and comfortably entertained. The weather being wet in the morning, occasioned the meeting to be smaller, particularly on the women's side; and though I was kept a considerable time empty, and shut up from any opening, I believed it right to keep still, and refrain from attempting to stir up or awake Him, who has the key of David, and the right to hide his face as long as He pleases. This state of mind was preparatory to unfolding the necessity of abiding in Christ, and keeping the word of his patience; that nothing man could do, in his time and strength, would be any better than filthy rags; but those who waited for, and relied upon the renewed manifestations of Holy Help, whatever their gifts, would be qualified to bring forth fruit, to the praise of the Great Husbandman, and the edification of his church and people. It was a time of strengthening the hands of the faithful, and inviting the young members to accept the offers of Heavenly love and mercy, extended to their souls; and to enlist under the banner of the Captain of their salvation. The feelings of my mind were serene and peaceful; yet after reaching the comfortable residence of Samuel Hill, I felt low and weary, and did not sleep well through the night. There seemed little from without, to which I could resort for comfort; and after taking a solitary walk, I thought it was designed to keep me in a humble, dependent state; and that such dispensations are a mercy, and indispensable for us to pass through. Went to meeting poor, and sat there empty, yet looking to and striving to wait upon the Master.

Two-thirds of the company were not of our Society; to whom it appeared to be my place, to open a little, the nature of the worship instituted by Christ under the gospel; which is not limited to time nor place, but is in spirit and in truth; as declared by Him to the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well.

We rode to Ashborough, and put up at a tavern kept by a Methodist; who informed us that their discipline does not admit of buying or selling slaves; yet does not prohibit the members from holding them. I gave him some account of the progress made among Friends in clearing the Society of slaveholding, and expressed my wish that they could adopt the same course, and come to the same result. He remarked it would suit him very well; he did not hold any, but hired them as he needed help; which amounts nearly to the same thing. A person, not of us, in company with his wife, inclining to attend the meeting, piloted us to Bethel, where we found a company, mostly of other professors, sitting around the house, waiting our arrival. As we observed in many places, they did not take their seats until the stranger, or the chief members, went into the house. The principal service was relating to the nature of the gospel dispensation; particularly enforcing as a fundamental and practical truth, the necessity of being made free from sin in this life, that we may partake of that salvation which comes by Jesus Christ. The people were quiet and serious.

Chapter XIII

1841—1842

Continuation of Visit to North Carolina Yearly Meeting—Causes of Trial—Visit to Money Select Preparative Meeting.

Eleventh month 25th. Fifth-day, attended Holly Spring Meeting, composed of a large number of plain Friends; to whom the injunction of Christ, “Take no thought saying, what shall we eat? what shall we drink? or wherewithal shall we be clothed? for after all these things do the Gentiles seek; for your Heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you,” was treated on. It was shown where this was carefully attended to in early life, and faithfully persevered in, the follower of Christ was preserved from the entanglements and perplexities, which the disobedient often become involved in. While these run into the inordinate pursuit of the world, after they had been visited in early life, and lose the life and greenness which they once had, the dedicated sons and daughters of God, are enabled to keep their worldly concerns in their proper place, and to fulfill their social and religious duties, in the right time and manner. The young people were earnestly pressed to mind the openings of Divine light, upon their understanding: and to walk in obedience thereto; that so they may grow in the knowledge of the Truth, and become established in it. The solemnizing power of the Blessed Head was felt among us, and I hoped some of the young ones would be aroused to increased devotion and zeal.

The ignorance which prevails among some, and their indifference to the work of religion in their own hearts, and to the spreading of it amongst us, is truly lamentable. They are so engrossed in the grovelling pursuit of earthly treasure, that they feel little or no interest in the concerns of their own religious society; neglecting their religious meetings, particularly Quarterly and Yearly Meetings; as if they could not spare any time from the world to attend them. These often imbibe prejudices against Friends, and the decisions of meetings; which, did they faithfully discharge their own duties, would never gain an entrance into their minds, or long hold possession of them.

We held an appointed meeting at Piney Ridge on the 26th, and afterwards rode about eighteen miles, much of the way through the woods, to our friend Phineas Nixon's. Here we met our friends, Abner Heald and David Fawcet, of Salem, Ohio. It is pleasant to get into the company of those who are abroad, laboring in the Master's cause; the number of such being small in this day. I believe we were mutually comforted in thus being thrown together. Next day attended the Quarterly Meeting; where a pretty large body of Friends, and a large number of others assembled. The great lack of practical religion amongst the professors of the name of Christ; what that religion would lead to; and the blessed fruits which would be produced by it in the world; were largely treated on; the Master of our assemblies furnishing matter and strength to preach his everlasting gospel, in the demonstration of his spirit and power. Great solemnity and quiet prevailed over the meeting.

In the meeting for Discipline, I endeavored to press upon Friends the advice of the Yearly Meeting, contained in its epistle; to labor affectionately with those who use ardent spirits as a drink, or give it to their workmen; that, if possible, they may be reclaimed from the evil habit; and that those who persist in it, may be enumerated, and the account taken up to the next Yearly Meeting. The subject of education being brought to view in reading the Boarding School report, it afforded an opportunity to plead with Friends on behalf of the dear children; that those who had the means should devote a proper portion of it to give them suitable school learning, at an age when they will best acquire it.

Money expended for this object will yield the best interest, and will be far more valuable to them, than given to them when arriving at manhood, without education. On the guarded religious instruction and care of the youth, very much depends the hope of the preservation and continuance of our Society; and in other places this watchful care had been productive of much good. I came away from the meeting altogether relieved and peaceful; got our horses, and we set off immediately and rode sixteen miles to our friend, J. A.'s, having his son for guide.

The road as far as Ashborough, was mountainous and tedious, and we did not arrive until about twenty minutes after seven o'clock; but the moonlight aided us much in driving safely.

The welcome we met with here, as in other places, was grateful, especially after the fatigue of a long meeting, and the ride in the evening. On the following morning a snow storm set in, which lasted all the day, beating in our faces much of the way to Rocky River, about twelve miles. Here we had a meeting at three o'clock in the afternoon; about twenty men and eight women. The way opened to encourage the few members to diligence and faithfulness in their religious duties; and to warn some transgressors present, to forsake their evil ways, and turn unto the Lord who would have mercy, if they repented and forsook their wrong courses. In a little opportunity with the family of the Friend where we stopped, I endeavored to encourage the parents and children; expressing the belief that the Son of Peace had been at work in the hearts of some of them.

29th. Had an appointed meeting at Cane Creek, where we met with our friends, Dougan and Asenath Clark. It was to me a trying time. I labored some among them under discouragement, from a feeling of the low state of religion there; in which it felt, that except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it. D. Clark spoke of it as another offer of Divine visitation, and exhorted them to close in with it. The weather being cold and the ground covered with snow, we concluded to tarry with our friends, Joseph Dixon and family; whom we found under some concern for the state of society here. I had a good deal of conversation with him, respecting the lack of liberality in education. After an opportunity with the family, in the morning, he piloted us to South Fork meeting, appointed at ten o'clock; from there we went to Chatham, at three o'clock in the afternoon. I was engaged to labor for the encouragement of the sincere-hearted in both meetings; that they might, through dedication to the Lord, be strengthened to build up the waste places, and support their religious meetings, and the testimonies given us to bear. In the latter meeting there was a number of persons, to whom it was my place to show, that man is not judged and condemned because he has no light or knowledge of what is right and wrong, but because he is not obedient to that which he has. Our Savior lays down the doctrine very plainly: “This is the condemnation, that light has come into the world, but men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that does evil hates the light, neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved; but he that does truth, comes to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest that they are wrought in God.”

They were appealed to for the verity of the doctrine, in their own experience, and called upon to receive and obey the light of Christ in its manifestations to the soul; that they might receive strength from Him to forsake their evil practices, and experience reconciliation with God through Him. Some of them were serious, and I believe were convinced of the truth of what was delivered. Our friend John Newlin, came to the meeting; with whom we went home, and the next day were at the Spring Meeting, being the 1st of the Twelfth month.

Twelfth month 2nd. Set off in company with John Newlin who was going to Hillsborough, and when we came to the road which we had proposed to take for Raleigh, I felt some doubts of leaving the few Friends residing at Eno, lest I should carry away a burden in relation to them, which would be undesirable to bear. On mentioning my fears of omitting to go there to John Newlin, and asking whether the few Friends could be got together soon, he replied, yes, in half an hour; and encouraged me to go. Although a trial to turn out of our course, I believed it best. We reached the house of T. T.; whose wife has frequently sat alone in the meeting-house; I think as often as five mid-week meeting days successively; and a messenger was soon dispatched to his brother to invite his family to meet there.

After dinner, we sat down together, six or eight children of each family; and my Divine Master soon prepared me to communicate to them; bringing to my remembrance the circumstance of the woman who broke the alabaster box of ointment, of great value, and poured it on His head; for which some found fault, as a waste of that which might have been sold and given to the poor. It appeared applicable to this devoted woman; who, through many difficulties, was openly acknowledging her fidelity to her Lord, in devoting a portion of her time and labor to attend her religious meetings; while others were neglecting them, and perhaps thinking it a waste of time in her to go there. The conditions of the others were also spoken to; calling upon them to obey the invitation often extended to them—to enter into the vineyard of their own hearts, and labor by the aid of the Holy Spirit, to have every thing eradicated that obstructed the growth of the Seed of the kingdom. To the heads of the families, who were in the neglect of their duty, the intimation was given that the eleventh hour was at hand, and they were solemnly warned of the danger of putting off this all-important work; and the young people were affectionately pressed to open the door of their hearts, and let the King of Glory come in and make them what He would have them to be; lights in the world, and as a city set upon a hill that could not be hid; that others might see their good works and glorify their Father which is in heaven. Some of them were brought under serious feelings, and I left them, thankful for the extension of holy help to discharge my duty towards them.

We rode to Hillsborough and put up at a tavern; not very agreeable to my feelings. The unpleasantness of the place, the dark rainy weather, and the trial I had passed through, in turning aside from our original route, covered me with sadness; which none can rightly understand who have never had such a mission to fulfill, and know not what it is to have their faith closely proved, when they have no other desire than to be found faithful to their Lord in his requirings. But I went to bed and slept pretty well; rose early the next morning, and about seven o'clock left the place, and through some rain and mud rode to Raleigh, The weather cleared off in the evening, and we succeeded in getting our breakfast at the hotel the following morning, in time to leave the town at eight o'clock. We had forty-three miles to ride in order to reach J. K.'s; much of the way through a piney country; the roads pretty level and sandy; and though we stopped nearly an hour to feed our horses, we arrived at our friends about sunset, and were hospitably received and entertained.

On first-day morning, Twelfth month 5th, we went to Neuse Meeting, about seven miles; crossing that river in a flat which we did not deem very safe, owing to its small size, the strength of the current, and the depth of the water; which had risen considerably from the late snow and rain. Persons of other persuasions, as well as Friends, collected, and it was some trial to be placed before such a company, a stranger, to whom their attention was naturally directed. But after some time, there was an opening on the preciousness of the salvation of the immortal soul, and that nothing in this world was worthy of being brought into competition with it.

The people sat very still and attentive. In the course of the communication, my mind was turned to the state of an infidel. After having set forth the object of the coming, sufferings, death, resurrection, etc, of our Lord Jesus Christ, I was led to dwell upon the awfulness of falling into a state, which landed individuals in a feeling like that of Cain, a vagabond on the earth; and having fallen into great wretchedness, such seek to draw others into the like condition with themselves. “Their vine is the vine of Sodom, and of the fields of Gomorrah; their grapes are grapes of gall, their clusters are bitter.” “The poison of asps is under their lips.” These were solemnly warned of their danger, and invited to yield to the grace of God, which at times was bringing them under fearful apprehensions of his just and inevitable judgments, if they die in this condition. To those who love the Lord Jesus, the blessedness of the heavenly reward at the end of the race, if they persevere, when God will wipe away all tears from their eyes, was held forth; and they were encouraged to increased faithfulness and dedication. It was a solemn opportunity, and when the meeting closed, several men, not of our Society, shook hands in a manner which indicated their unity with the doctrine. We returned after dinner to J. K.'s, and in the evening had a religious opportunity with his family.

6th. Rode eight miles to Nahunta Meeting, and though early when we reached the house, found a number collected, who seemed like a people willing to hear the Gospel preached. We sat a long time in silence; as it seemed to me to show that we were not to be ready to speak in man's time, and that the Lord will not gratify that disposition, which many have, to wait and depend upon man. These feelings prepared me, in some degree, to show the people that it is not according to the Gospel dispensation to look to man for a knowledge of the Divine will, nor for spiritual bread. No man can impart spiritual bread, but as it is given him by Christ. It was under the Jewish dispensation, that the law was to be received from the priests' lips; not so under the Gospel. Every one is to come to and wait upon Christ. The Lord will not give his glory to another. The way gradually opened to invite the people to come to Christ, that they might know Him to be their teacher; to instruct them in the things which pertain to their soul's salvation, and to give them the bread and water of life, to nourish them up unto everlasting life. They were also shown, that as they thus came into his government and kingdom, there could be no revenge, nor ill-will, nor use of improper language towards each other. Parents being united in this, they would be concerned for their children, to bring them also to Christ; and such families would verify the description given by the Psalmist, of this unity being like the ointment poured upon the head, which ran down to the skirts of the garment; and like the dew which descends upon the mountains of Zion; where the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore.

The meeting closed with prayer, for some who have nearly reached the eleventh hour; that they might, by the love of God, be constrained to labor in the vineyards of their own hearts, and have every wrong plant removed; that they might be clothed with gravity and wisdom, to set a proper example to their children: and for those who meet in this place, that, through increased dedication, they might be qualified to support the ark of the testimonies, and show forth the praises of the Lord God and the Lamb. The meeting ended solemnly, and the people were serious, and some of them tendered. We then rode home with a member, and stayed with him and his family that night. Within the limits of this meeting, we were informed, of two Friends and their wives, who do not know their letters. They have raised a large number of children, who, of course, they could not instruct themselves, by reading to them in the Holy Scriptures.

7th. Had a meeting at Contentnea. The house being very open, and no fire, I suffered so from the cold, that when speaking I could hardly prevent my teeth from striking together. The state of this meeting appeared to me very low, and my feelings were discouraging, and I said but little in the meeting.

Went to the house of a Friend living on the way towards Rich Square, and several being there in the evening, I felt willing to have a religious opportunity with them; in which I endeavored to press upon them the necessity of more thorough devotion to the cause of Truth, that they may be instrumental in supporting the testimonies given to us to bear, and in reviving the zeal of others. I am persuaded that the open, comfortless condition of most of their meeting-houses,—nearly all without any means of warming them, or drying the wet clothes of those who ride or walk in the rain or snow,—has the effect to keep their meetings smaller than they would be, were proper care taken to make them fit places to meet for the worship of Him, to whom we owe ourselves, and all that we possess. Men of ability will provide for themselves suitable habitations; and how much more careful should they be, to have buildings decent, and appropriate for the worship of the Lord of Hosts, where they assemble professedly to pay the homage due to his great name. The dilapidated state of the house, may strike strangers as an index to the kind of religion which the professed worshippers possess, and may stumble or turn aside sincere seekers. I mentioned the subject to several of the members, at the close of the meeting, and they admitted the force of the observations; remarking that some other Friend had spoken to them respecting it before.

It is to be feared, that the general apathy on the subject of vital, practical religion, has an influence, in many places, to deter Friends from providing all the accommodation they require, and the sheds to defend their horses from the inclemency of the weather.

We set off early on the 8th, accompanied by two guides, and rode to Tarborough, thirty-seven miles, and lodged. The next morning, proceeded to Roanoke River; which had been over its banks in some places,—caused by a late freshet,—and lodged timber on the road, so as to obstruct it: but we succeeded in finding a way around, which we could not have passed a few days earlier.

After reaching T. P.'s, we had notices sent out for a meeting en the next day, at Rich Square; which we attended; being a pretty large collection of Friends and others. This was the meeting to which that deep and powerful minister of the Gospel of Christ, Richard Jordan, belonged; where he labored in his early life, in his Divine Master's cause. After sitting down in the meeting, I was assailed with the suggestion that I had done wrong in omitting to go to Core Sound, and now I might be left to myself to get along as well as I could; and what a condition I should bring myself into, if I could now get no further, and be obliged to inform Friends that I had missed my way, and must turn back to that meeting, about two hundred miles distant.

I was willing to do anything for peace of mind, and to have the favor of my Divine Master restored; if I had forfeited it through disobedience, or undertaking to decide for myself. These views humbled me greatly, and my faith and hope were reduced low. But He, whose the cause is which I desired might not suffer, had compassion on me; and in the midst of my conflict gave me unexpectedly an intimation to stand up with the testimony: “There is none other name under heaven given amongst men whereby we must be saved,” but the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I was, at first, afraid to comply lest I was deceived; but in mercy it was repeated; and I arose, not knowing what I was to say further, and leaving it all to the Lord to supply the matter. The way was opened to preach Christ Jesus as the only way to the Father, and his spiritual baptism with the Holy Ghost and fire, as the appointed means by which sin and corruption are to be purged out of the heart of man; and he prepared to be made a partaker of the fulness of the blessings of the gospel of Christ; both in what He did and suffered for us, in the prepared body, and the glorious reward at the end of the race; laid up for all those who love and serve Him with sincerity and faithfulness. The current then turned to the exercised remnant in this meeting; who were encouraged to increased dedication in the occupancy of their gifts, and to be willing to be again and again baptized into suffering on their own account, and for the body's sake, the church. The young people were also invited to receive Christ in his visitations to their souls; to take his yoke upon them and learn of Him, that they may be made servants in his house, and qualified to support the doctrines and testimonies given to us to bear. Some of the sincere-hearted were tendered, and manifested their unity, in seeming unwillingness to part from us, as well as by expressing their satisfaction with our company. But I left them in a low state of mind, not knowing how I should get through with the remaining meetings; and whether I should not yet find my way blocked up, by disqualification for service, brought on by omitting to go to that distant meeting.

A young man offering to pilot us, we set off for B. C.'s, seventeen miles, on our way to Piney Woods, eating our dinner in the carriage; whose house we reached just before dusk. This family, residing so far from their meeting, as seldom to get there, I had a religious opportunity with them; in which I held up to view the great object of life, the importance of bringing up their children in a proper manner; and whether, if they rightly felt the importance of regularly attending their religious meetings, the way would not be made to remove where they would be able to be at them more frequently.

We left here the following morning, 11th, and rode forty miles to J. N.’s, and finding that our friend B. C. of Indiana, had notice spread of his intention to be here next day, we went down on first-day morning to Little River Meeting; where we found a small company; six or eight Friends and a number of others. In the afternoon we proceeded to Symond's Creek and Newbegan Creek, appointing meetings for the next day. We put up at J. P.'s.

We had a meeting next day at Newbegan Creek; in which the duty of silent waiting, and introversion of mind before the Lord, that we may hear and understand the still small voice which speaks as never man spake, and by obedience thereto, be brought to the knowledge of God and Jesus Christ, whom He has sent, which is life eternal; was opened and enforced. It was shown that, however valuable the knowledge communicated by the Scriptures, and highly to be prized and cherished, yet this of itself was not sufficient. The saving knowledge of the Father is received by and through the Son; who is the way, the truth and the life, communicated by the operations of his Spirit in the heart. It was a time of renewed favor.

After dining, we rode to Symond's Creek, where we had the company of nearly all the members of the two meetings last visited. It was satisfactory to have them together; giving the opportunity of entering into feeling with them, in their reduced condition; in which the way was opened to encourage the honest-hearted to keep hold of the shield of faith; whereby they might quench the darts of the enemy, who seeks to discourage and turn aside from the path of duty. The necessity of watching over, and restraining the children from the corruptions which abound in the world, and of Friends coming under religious exercise, that they may be qualified to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, were pointed out; and the danger of being overwhelmed by the pursuit of business and the love of money, impressed upon some. The Truth rose into dominion, and brought some into tenderness, and they took leave of us in near affection and unity, desiring our preservation every way.

It is not many years since the meetings held at these lower houses were quite large; but the climate being unhealthy in these counties, and Friends surrounded by slaves and slaveholders, they have gradually moved into the Western States; until the number is scarcely sufficient to keep up their meetings with reputation. The Yearly Meeting of North Carolina was first held altogether at Little River; then alternately here and at New Garden; but as Friends increased in the middle and western side of the State, and went from there into Tennessee, it has been held altogether at New Garden. It produces mournful feelings to see our meetings reducing and going down, and the houses deserted and sold. Friends have the right to leave one country, and go into another, where they are satisfied that Divine wisdom points to such change. It is, however, very needful to know, that it is the mind of our Holy Leader we should make such a move; for not only trials are brought upon those who remain, by the reduction of the meeting, and by Friends selling their property to slaveholders, who move in among them; but those who go, it is to be feared, in some instances, have not improved their condition, either temporally or spiritually. But had they remained, they might have been instrumental in gathering others to the Truth; and by keeping up the meetings, preserved the children of Friends in the Society; many of whom, for lack of proper company and example, have gone into the world, and formed connections for life, which have led them out of the Society, and proved a lasting injury. Some have, no doubt, removed from honest motives, and have prospered; yet it is not an evidence of redemption from the love of the world, to see Friends, the highest professing people amongst Christians, so ready to take wing, and hasten after the valuable lands, recently obtained from the conquered natives; who are driven here and there, having scarcely any certain dwelling-place. The example of thirst for gain does not become a professedly self-denying people, and must make an impression on others, unfavorable to the reception of the gospel as held by us. It, moreover, brings dimness of vision on ourselves, and the loss of that lively zeal and spiritual-mindedness, which belong to the true Christian; and eminently characterized the early members of our Society.

We had an appointed meeting at Well's, on the 14th; attended Bush Spring on the 15th; both of which were exercising. It is painful to have to sit where the negligent and slothful sit and partake of the food proper for them. I endeavored to labor faithfully among them; but sometimes on sitting down, I would feel as if all sense of Divine life and strength had left me; and then, for a short time, would fear that I had not been ministering in the power and authority of Truth. This humbled and kept me poor in spirit, seeking to the Lord in and out of meetings; and at times having no qualification to enter into much conversation. But I felt no condemnation; and the tendering, contriting peace of God, which surpasses the understanding of the unregenerate man, would flow into my heart, and enable me to trust in Him, and lean upon Christ, the great High Priest of our profession, who is touched with a feeling of our infirmities.

16th. Much rain having fallen during the night, and continuing, the traveling was disagreeable; but, notwithstanding the unfavorable state of the weather, notice having been spread of our intention to be at Piney Woods, at the usual week-day meeting, a large company convened. I felt, as common for me, exceedingly empty, and my faith perhaps never lower at such a time; but after a time of waiting, the testimony of the holy apostle, was revived: “Without faith, it is impossible to please God.” We must not only believe that He is, but that He is a rewarder of them who diligently seek Him. Though I was so stripped, I believed it was my duty to rise with this testimony; and as I kept patient and steady, one thing was opened after another, until the stream became like a river for a man to swim in; the people were solemnized, and the name of the Lord exalted; and I went to D. W.'s with a peaceful mind. This finished the visit to the meetings of North Carolina; and that night I slept soundly till near the time to rise for an early departure into Virginia. We were joined by our friend J. N., at whose house we had stayed three nights; and through a storm of rain and snow, we rode thirty-eight miles, to our friend J. H.'s, at Somerton, and had notice spread for a meeting there next day.

We had a meeting at Somerton, with Friends, and a few not professing with us, to some satisfaction. Next morning, being first-day, we rode over to Western Branch, and there met a little company; parts of two or three families of Friends; amongst whom there was some ability received, to show the unwillingness of man, in his first nature, to submit to the restraints of the power of religion; and the consequence which must result to him in refusing to come under the yoke and cross of Christ. Some were fervently and affectionately pleaded with, to lay these things to heart, and to give up to the convictions of the Spirit of Christ, while the day of mercy was extended to them. We dined with some Friends, and had a farther opportunity of laying before them the duty of restraining the children; and also the danger of being carried away with the fascination of vain and fashionable society; that the Lord will bring all to judgment; and what will all our creaturely indulgences do for us, in that awful day? Rode back to N. J.'s, and on second-day, the 20th, had a meeting at their meeting-house; wherein I had close labor with the negligent members, who are often absent from their meetings, and live in much indifference respecting their religious duties. It was a season of earnest labor with members and others, to draw them into a right sense of the obligations they are under, and the great importance of working out their soul's salvation, while the Lord is striving with them, by the convictions of his Holy Spirit.

A Friend, of Black Creek, met us here, and conducted us to his house. His father came into the Society, and, from the account we had, was a diligent attender of meetings, and careful to take his children with him. The benefit of his faithfulness, is seen in his children; who appear to be exemplary Friends; upon whom the support of the meeting much devolves. It was peculiarly encouraging to find some who had joined Friends, and manifested their love to the Society, by supporting a plain, consistent appearance; where degeneracy has greatly crept in; and many who profess with us have so gone into the world, that the meetings, in places, are dropped, and others nearly gone down.

21st. A pretty large company, besides Friends, assembled with us today; many of whom appeared to me to be persons of inquiring minds. The Master condescended to furnish ability to preach the gospel; showing that it is a dispensation of the spirit, life and power; to bring man out of his lost and sinful condition, and restore him into that in which Adam stood before he fell. Christ said of his sheep, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” He also promised the gift of the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, who was with them and should be in them. And the Apostle declared, “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation, to every one that believes; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.” It is not a dispensation of outward ceremonies, as the Jewish, which may be performed in the will and wisdom of man. You are not come unto the Mount that might be touched, etc, “But you are come unto Mount Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable company of angels, and to the general assembly and church of the first born, which are written in heaven; and to God the judge of all, and to Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.” The blood of Abel cried from the ground for vengeance; but Christ said of his enemies: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Those who are truly brought under the gospel dispensation, are brought up into the image of Christ, clothed with his spirit; and they die to the spirit of revenge, and to the inordinate indulgence of all their carnal appetites and propensities. They breathe, in their conduct and in their spirit, “Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace and good will to men.” Many passages of the Holy Scriptures were brought to my remembrance, setting forth the blessed, heavenly nature of the religion of which our holy Redeemer is the Author and Finisher; and confirming the doctrines of our Society; that it is a dispensation of the Spirit, the life and power of the dear Son of God, for the perfect restoration of fallen man to the heavenly image, and unto favor and acceptance with his gracious and most merciful Creator. I believe the hearts of many were touched by the solemnizing power of our holy Head and Helper, and responded to the truth of the doctrine delivered. The meeting closed with acknowledgments of our nothingness and unworthiness; and humble supplication that the truths of the gospel might be fastened by Him, who only can give the increase, as a nail in a sure place; and that his protecting power might be round about us, to preserve us from the snares and temptations of our unwearied enemy. The people shook hands with me very respectfully; among them were some zealous Baptists.

In the afternoon we went to Black Water. The distance being twenty miles, it admitted of but very short time for notice of a meeting with them next day. But this, like all other meetings in Virginia, has become much reduced; three or four families only, being left of what was once a pretty large meeting.

We met with the little company and a few descendants of Friends. I was led to speak to some respecting the feeling which they were brought under, in the midst of their efforts to obtain happiness from worldly enjoyments. That there is at times a longing desire in the soul after substantial food which none of those earthly delights can satisfy. However they may be pursued with avidity, they all fail; leaving the soul empty and destitute; often followed by the convictions of Divine Grace, that the work of salvation is neglected, and these delights are leading their votary in the broad way which must terminate in destruction. Some of this description were earnestly labored with, to arouse them to a sense of their danger, and the necessity of giving heed to the warning voice of the Lord's Holy Spirit while the day of mercy lasts. There were a few exemplary young Friends present, to whom the language of encouragement was extended, to dedicate themselves to the cause of Christ; and taking his yoke upon them, openly confess Him before men. It was a comfort to meet with such, where the Society has become almost extinct. We got into our carriage, and rode on our way twenty miles towards Gravelly Run, eating our dinner as we rode. Finding no tavern, we went to a store, hoping that the person who kept it gave entertainment to travelers for pay. On inquiry of him, he said, that he did not keep a house of entertainment; but as it was cold, and nearly night, he insisted upon our alighting; and said he would take the best care of us and of our horses that he could. Though it was not pleasant to cast ourselves on the hospitality of a stranger, not of our own religious profession, yet the lateness of the evening and the frankness of the man, induced us to stop with him. After supper, we fell into conversation on water baptism, and a hireling ministry; in which the young man united very much with our views, and condemned the sentiment that water baptism is essential to salvation, and that none are saved without it. He mentioned that he had heard a Quaker lady, as he called her, preach at Fredericksburg, last spring; and said it was the best sermon he ever heard preached. From his account, we judged it to have been our friend Elizabeth Robson, who had a meeting there about that time. This shows there are often useful impressions made by a sound gospel ministry, of which we have no knowledge, and when we may not suspect it.

We got upon the subject of slavery; in which also he appeared to agree with us in sentiment; though, he said, there was no disposition among the slaveholders to abandon it. He informed us of a very respectable neighbor, Daniel Grant, sometimes called Dr. Grant, from his kind attentions and prescriptions for the sick, who never owned nor hired a slave. He has raised thirteen children, seven sons and six daughters, all of whom are married but one; and provided for them by his own labor, and their aid, as they became old enough to work. Our host stated that one evening at his store, where a number of the neighbors met to obtain their papers by the mail, the character of a candidate for President of the United States was discussed, and some alleged that he was an abolitionist. Dr. Grant in reply remarked, that slavery was a sin. They cried out that he was an abolitionist. The doctor appealed to several of them whether they had not heard their own fathers say that it is a sin; which they admitted they had. Well, added the doctor, if believing slavery to be a sin, makes me an abolitionist, I must be an abolitionist. Though heretofore held in universal esteem by his neighbors and acquaintance, this honest avowal of his opinion alienated a number of them; but without altering his opinion or practice. His sons follow the example of their venerable father, who is now about seventy-five years old, neither owning nor hiring slaves; and on one occasion drew upon them the resentment of their associates, for uttering their sentiments relating to the horrid system of slavery. Such upright independence, in the midst of inveterate slaveholders, is worthy of record, and is highly creditable to the man, who has the moral courage to differ from his neighbors on a subject of such exciting character; and is an example well worthy of being followed and held up to public estimation. The doctor is regarded as a practical christian, and his religious tenets as consistent with the spiritual nature of the gospel.

Our hospitable Virginian entertained us very comfortably, and we hoped our tarriance might prove mutually advantageous; on parting the invitation was given to repeat our calls whenever we travelled that road.

23rd. We resumed our carriage, and after traveling twenty-five miles through almost continued rain, we got to J. B.'s, at Gravelly Run. The dark and rainy weather made the shelter of his commodious and well-secured house, and our friendly reception, doubly welcome. As there are but one member, and part of another family, besides his own, who constitute the meeting here, we had them invited to his house that evening; but the storm preventing them from coming, we sat down with his household and a neighbor, and held a satisfactory meeting; which, I believe, was encouraging and strengthening, at least to a part of the little company. On our way to Petersburg, next morning, we called upon the family above alluded to, and had a religious opportunity with them; and then proceeded through Petersburg to Richmond. My thoughts on the road were much occupied with home; and reflecting on the great uncertainty of time, I was engrossed with the idea that I might not find all my dear family living; which depressed me much; in connection with the reduced condition of our Society in these parts. Such reflections introduce the mind into a low state; in which the consciousness of the short and uncertain duration of temporal enjoyments, brings the end of all things so near at hand, that there appears to be but little space between us and death; and scarcely anything worth living for, but to prepare for that awful event. The force of these views went off in part before we reached Richmond; and I thought, perhaps, they were preparatory to the finishing of this little embassy; that I should retire from the field under a proper sense of my own weakness and nothingness, and entire dependence upon the gracious Giver of every good and perfect gift, for all that was entrusted to me, both spiritual and temporal.

It was my intention to have gone to Wain Oak, in Charles City County; but on being informed of the very reduced number of members, and that it was probable if I went there, without notice being first sent, I should find no one at their first-day meeting; on deliberately feeling after the matter, I was easy to omit going; and concluded to request a meeting next day with Friends, and such as usually meet with them, in Richmond.

A little company met on seventh-day, the 25th, and to my admiration, I was renewedly qualified, and furnished with matter to minister to their states. Man was created to be the servant of God; to love and serve his Almighty Creator; and under whatever circumstance he may be placed, it is practicable to answer the design of Him who made him, by obeying the dictates of his Holy Spirit. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength;” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There were some present, who I apprehended, had widely departed from the Divine law, and from loving and serving God; and ability was furnished to plead with these to turn at his reproofs, that they may be raised into the dignity and nobility which man was designed for; being created a little lower than the angels, and crowned with glory and honor. Others, who had in measure seen the beauty of the Truth, were called upon to come forth and confess Christ, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation.

The few Friends in this city are much exposed to an influence very unfavorable to the growth of vital religion. To be enabled to labor faithfully for their help, was a little evidence that Divine goodness was still watching over them, and I left the city with a peaceful and thankful heart. Having about twenty-one miles to ride, we hastened away, taking something with us to eat on the road, and by diligent traveling, we got to our friend E. T. C.'s before dark: who, with his family, received and entertained us with their wonted kindness and hospitality.

On first-day, we attended Cedar Creek Meeting; a considerable part of the company not appearing to be members. The subject brought before me, was the fruit of the Christian religion, where it was really prevailing, as contained in the command of the Savior. “A new command I give unto you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” In this love, Christ left the bosom of the Father, came, not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. He came not as a great, earthly prince, but in the form of a servant; and made Himself of no reputation. His spirit and his religion divest man of selfishness; lead him to feel for the sufferings of his fellow creatures and to regard every man as his brother; to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and those in prisons; agreeable to Christ's declaration when speaking of the different rewards of those who do so, and those who do not. The states of some who were bringing forth the fruits of darkness, and seeking their selfish gratifications, whatever may be the sufferings they bring upon others, were closely spoken to, and they labored with, to persuade them to yield to the heavenly convictions of the grace of God in their hearts.

After dinner we walked over to L. C.'s, to visit his aged mother where I had an opportunity with several of the members, to urge them to increased zeal and faithfulness in keeping up their religious meetings. But the state of this meeting looks discouraging.

A considerable freshet in the streams, made it necessary to ride several miles to cross a bridge over the South Anna River, to get into the neighborhood of Caroline Meeting; which we reached on second-day afternoon, the 27th; and the following morning had a meeting with the few members and others; in which the importance of rightly occupying the time and talents committed to our trust, was enforced upon some; and prayer was offered for the continued aid and protection of our Heavenly Father; that we might be preserved in humility, and delivered from the snares and temptations by which a cruel enemy would seek to lay waste and destroy, even those who had made a good confession before men, of the blessed Truth. We returned to our lodgings, and in the evening had a little religious communication to our hostess, her son and her sister; referring to the love and kindness which our Lord showed to Martha and Mary, and their brother Lazarus; and which I believed He would still manifest to others, who sought unto Him, and sincerely loved Him; encouraging them to attend their meeting, and to seek retirement before the Lord at home, that their spiritual strength might be renewed.

29th. Took an affectionate leave of our friends, and rode to Fredericksburg; where we found the nephew of my companion, waiting to take charge of the carriage and horses; which we put on board the steamboat the following morning, and reached Washington in the evening.

31st. Rose early, and taking the car at six o'clock, we got to Baltimore a few minutes after eight; breakfasted, and again entered the cars for Philadelphia, which we reached about four o'clock; and were gladly received by our beloved families and friends; having been absent exactly fifteen weeks, and travelled about twenty-two hundred and forty miles. Home was exceedingly grateful, and my mind being favored with calm and peaceful feelings, it seemed as if the time since I left it had been but a few days. For all the mercies of our gracious Caretaker, in preserving us from sickness and serious casualty; and, from season to season, granting renewed ability for the work whereunto He had appointed us, may my soul be kept in deep prostration before Him; and in humility and fear; relying on his Holy Spirit to put forth afresh, when He shall see meet, and while He shuts, not daring to open; ascribing unto Him, the Lord God, and to the Lamb, all glory and honor, salvation and strength, which is alone due to his everlastingly worthy, holy name.

1842. After returning from North Carolina, I was much at home, and passed through dispensations of poverty of spirit; in which my faith at times was put to a close test. There were also trials arising out of the state of our religious Society, and the disposition of some to indulge in a party and censorious spirit. But under all these afflictions there is a secret support, and in the Lord's time, way is made to show ourselves on his side; and that He can grant deliverance from bonds and imprisonment, and furnish qualification to testify of his mercy and goodness.

In the Second month, I attended Concord Quarterly Meeting, in which I was livingly qualified to preach the gospel; and my dear wife followed in reverent, fervent supplication. The way also opened, in the Meeting for Discipline, for further service, to the encouragement of Friends in the support of our Christian testimonies.

At our Meeting for Sufferings in the Third month, a committee was appointed to prepare an epistle to the Meeting for Sufferings in London; and it being believed, that it would be proper to call the attention of the latter to the practice of allowing their members to write, print and publish works on our religious principles, without proper examination by an authorized body, the matter was discussed in the committee, and a few Friends appointed to draft an essay. The introduction of works into this country, containing sentiments not in accordance with the doctrines which the Society has held and promulgated from the beginning, was mentioned. The epistle being prepared, was very fully approved, both in the Meeting for Sufferings and in the Yearly Meeting.

Samuel Bettle and myself having been appointed by our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, to attend the Select Preparative Meeting of Muncy, we took the railroad cars on second-day, the 18th of the Seventh month, and that evening reached Danville, one hundred and twenty-six miles from Philadelphia.

The weather was very warm, and riding in a crowded stage, part of the distance from Pottsville, over the mountains, was very oppressive. Here we were met on third-day morning, by Andrew Eves, Jr., who took us to his father's; and in the afternoon we sat with the Friends; and next day attended their Monthly Meeting. The neglect to send representatives, and sometimes to forward the reports in time, were the occasion of our appointment; on which points, we endeavored to stir up and encourage Friends to greater care and faithfulness. Both of us were engaged on fourth-day, in the ministry, and also in advising Friends on some matters which were brought into view. There is a painful state of indolence in some; but we were encouraged by the hope, that among the young Friends, there is an increasing attachment to the Society and its testimonies; and that some of them are preparing for usefulness in the church. We had a religious opportunity at the house of David Masters, with part of his family, and other Friends present; and leaving there on fifth-day, lodged at Danville, and arrived at our homes, sixth-day evening, satisfied with this little act of dedication.

Eighth month 10th. I went to Woodbury, and attended Salem Quarterly Meeting held there. After the Select Meeting, dined and took tea at Joseph Whitall's, who was in a frail, diseased state. Very few have passed through more trials than he has; in which he has been an excellent example; as well as in his undeviating faithfulness to the doctrines and testimonies of Friends. When it shall please the Head of the church to remove him from a militant to a triumphant state, the Quarterly and Monthly Meeting, of which he is a valuable member, will greatly miss him, as a father and counselor among them. I felt very poor and unfit for anything in the meeting on fifth-day; but the power of Truth finally seemed to prevail, and I hope some were aroused to a fresh sense of the necessity of working out their salvation, with fear and trembling; and that the desponding, mournful ones, who have many burdens to bear, were a little encouraged and revived.

10th month 16th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings; in which the subject of slavery, and the disabilities under which the colored people are placed, occupied much of the time of the meeting, particularly as regards the State of Delaware.

Chapter XV

1842—1843

Second Religious Visit within the Limits of Ohio Yearly Meeting

On the 10th of Eleventh month, 1842, I left my comfortable home, and tenderly beloved wife and children, and took passage in the public line of cars and stages for Wheeling; for the purpose of paying a religious visit to the meetings composing Ohio Yearly Meeting; for which, I obtained a certificate of the unity of the Monthly Meeting, and an endorsement of the Quarterly Meeting. The general expression of approbation and desire for my encouragement was strengthening, and raised the hope that the proposed movement was right. I had been much shut up, for several weeks, and stripped of all ability to engage in any good word or work; under which dispensation, I endeavored to abide with patience; though at times assailed with fears, whether I was not mistaken in my prospect; yet at times light would shine on those distant meetings. The difficulty of leaving my temporal concerns, on which my living chiefly depended, in the hands of apprentice boys; and the solitary situation of my family, all, at times, came over me with force; inducing the enquiry, whether it was my duty, as a parent and provider, to leave them in this way. But I believed it right to commit them to the tender care and protection of our Heavenly Father, and endeavor in fear and lowliness of mind, to do his will.

We reached Baltimore in the afternoon; lodged there, and took the cars next morning for Cumberland, one hundred and seventy-eight miles by railroad, from Baltimore; and at about eight o'clock in the evening, got into the stage for Brownsville; rode all night through the Allegheny Mountains, in snow and rain, and drove into Brownsville about twelve o'clock next day.

We had for our fellow passengers in the stage, five or six low, profane slaveholders; whose depraved spirits, and vulgar language, were very unpleasant and annoying. But taking no notice of them, they discovered we were not like themselves, and finally, they ceased talking. After breakfast, some remarks were made on the subject of farming, which led to the effects of slavery upon the state of the country in the Southern States; and the irrationality of a man keeping forty or fifty slaves, while he could make little more than a bare living with them; which, with proper industry, he could do, without them. It was taking on him the care of persons who could take care of themselves, and without whom he could make out to live as well. “Ah but,” said one of the company, “there are the young niggers; he can sell one of them once in awhile and live on that.” I answered, I should not like to subsist on human flesh.

This roused them up, to defend their dark and unrighteous system; in doing which, they could offer little, except that the free blacks, and many whites, were not as well provided for as the slaves; which in some cases might be true, but was not so to any great extent. Moreover, the latter have their liberty, and are able to exercise their right to labor where they please; and even those who have to labor hard, very often live upon the best food, though at the expense of frugality and economy.

At Brownsville, a Friend offered to take us out to Sewickly Meeting; and leaving our baggage, we rode to our aged friend's, Samuel Cope, at Providence, eight miles, and were heartily received. The road being wet and hilly, we rose early and were about five hours riding to Sewickly, sixteen miles; where we attended their first-day meeting. Some ability was granted to labor for arousing the careless, and negligent, and the transgressor; and the language of encouragement was offered to the sincere-hearted, and to the young people, to come under the yoke of Christ.

We dined at G. G.'s, who appears to be a well-concerned Friend; and lodged at his brother B. G.'s. In the morning, I had a tendering communication to his aged and weakly mother and her sister; in which they were recommended to the mercy of our Heavenly Father, extended to poor, sinful man, through our Lord Jesus Christ; and exhorted to labor to draw near to the footstool of Divine Grace, that they may be prepared to partake of his pardoning mercy, and in the awful close experience acceptance through Him. We were all affected together to tears, under a renewed feeling of the Lord's goodness and compassion.

Set off in a shower of rain, and got to D. C.'s; dined, and went to a meeting appointed at two o'clock, at Providence; in which, after inward, solid waiting, the power of Christ spread over us; and the humble-hearted, visited children, were encouraged to increased devotedness to the Lord and his cause; and I trust the burden-bearers were comforted. Samuel Cope asked me, in the evening, whether I did right in limiting the invitation to Friends, and those who usually attended their meetings; but it appeared to me that my concern was principally to strengthen, as ability may be granted, our own flock, and to turn transgressors among us, to the saving power of Divine Grace. In the evening, Samuel Cope's sons and their wives being present, I had an opportunity with them; and labored to impress them with the responsibility of their station as parents, and the importance of rightly exampling their children, and restraining them from wrong things; so that, as far as in our power, we may be instrumental in preparing the ground of the heart, for the seed of the kingdom; when the good Husbandman shall see proper to sow it there. It was a heart-tendering time, and the aged Friends seemed comforted.

15th. Third-day morning. Had an appointed meeting at Centre; in which the Master furnished matter, adapted to the different states. I was low and weak; but keeping down to the Seed of life, I was enabled to minister, so as to reach the witness in some, and experience peace in my own bosom. The state of one, to whom I was a stranger, a Friend said afterwards, was particularly described. This was a little encouraging; having many fears lest I should be deserted of my gracious Master. We dined with the sister of D. M., a widow, and rode home with him, and were kindly received by his wife.

16th. Attended their usual meeting at Brownsville, which was not so animating and comforting as some others. A lack of faithfulness seemed to have brought weakness over some; and when plain things arose to deliver, the separatists being in meeting, on the other side of the partition, made it embarrassing to communicate; and I labored along rather heavily. But the doctrines of the gospel, and the use and authority of the Holy Scriptures, were plainly held up and enforced.

In going from house to house, there is a difference in our feelings. In some a sense of oppression is felt, in which we cannot breathe as in a pure atmosphere. This is a source of exercise, and we have need to keep inward to the Master; that if anything is given to hand to them, it may be done faithfully, and yet in the spirit of love, and sincere desire for their help. In other families; particularly those of young, tender-spirited Friends, who love the Truth, and desire to be faithful to their Lord and Master, the spirits of the true travelers for the prosperity of Zion, are more at liberty; and it is a strength to be in the company of this description.

We took stage in the afternoon and rode to Wheeling; where we arrived about three o'clock in the morning. One of the passengers seemed disposed to talk on political subjects, and I remarked to him that I thought the Government better employed in making such roads as we were riding over, and in other improvements, for the benefit of the county, than in building forts and vessels of war. He then argued in favor of self-defense; said he would defend himself and family if assailed by a person who would destroy life, if he was not killed. I told him I could not tell what I would do in such an emergency; but I believed it would be wrong to take the life of a fellow creature under any circumstance; that it would be best to put our trust in Divine Providence, and relying on Him, suffer death rather than destroy the life of a human being. But I believed his care was remarkably extended to those who confided in Him. That this was exemplified in the civil wars in Ireland; where Friends were exposed to the violence of the banditti, like others; but of whom none were destroyed except two, who took up guns to defend themselves. And while William Penn and his friends held the government of Pennsylvania, there was no war with the natives; but in other colonies, there was much destruction on both sides. I also remarked, that when the children of Israel served the Lord, they were preserved in peace; but when they worshipped idols, the defense was withdrawn, and their enemies, who had been in peace with them, came in and reduced them to servitude. More of this confidence in providential protection was needed in this country; but by placing our dependence in our institutions, and the right of suffrage, we may be disappointed; as we had been already. He united in part with my sentiments, but advocated self-defense.

We retired, being fatigued, and found ourselves refreshed by a few hours' rest. The profanity of persons in and about the hotel, made it feel to me a dark and wicked place to be in. It seemed as if many were utterly reckless of religion, morality and character; and were given up to their depraved passions and propensities. To be thrown in such society is very distressing. The next morning, the 18th, we went on to Mt. Pleasant Boarding School.

18th. I attended the Select Quarterly Meeting; my mind being encompassed with fears in relation to myself, and the journey before me. Towards the close of the meeting, under an apprehension that the defection of some which had occasioned the acknowledgment of a lack of unity in one branch, required the exercise of faith and patience, and a willingness to endure suffering, I thought it right to revive the exhortation of our Lord to His disciples, “In your patience possess you your souls,” and to express the belief that patience was a necessary lesson to learn; that it was not only a means of our preservation, but through suffering, victory and dominion over wrong spirits was often obtained. Dear William Wood, in his eighty-fifth year, said he thought he had never been more tempted to take flight in the winter season, than he had been for some months past.

19th. Seventh-day. Went to Short Creek Quarterly Meeting. Two Friends spoke in the ministry; which I was ready to conclude might be all that was required in that meeting; but when near time to close the partitions, I was afraid to leave the meeting without reviving the expressions of our Lord, “The life is more than meat, and the body than raiment.” In a spiritual sense, it is of little moment what food the Shepherd and Bishop of souls appoints to nourish and sustain the spiritual life. He knows what is best for us; and though He may appoint stripping and poverty, and deep suffering for his children, it is our duty and interest to submit with cheerfulness; and in this condition, wait upon Him until he sees fit to change the dispensation.

The fruit-bearing branches are to be purged, that they may bring forth more fruit to the praise of the Great Husbandman. Our dependence is to be individually on the Head of the Church; every one in his place and allotment in the body waiting upon Him and not on man, and faithfully acting as He puts forth. This will not destroy the honor and esteem due to those of greater experience; but all being baptized by the same Spirit into one body, they being banded together in the unity and fellowship of the gospel, will render to each other the love and respect that is due; and thus would be like the church coming out of the wilderness, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners.

On first-day I was at the meeting in the large house; a small company, amongst whom I was engaged to labor in the love of the gospel; especially with some who had chosen their own way; in order to show them that it is not in man that walks to direct his own steps; and the difficulties and perplexities in which such involve themselves, often not being permitted to acquire what they are grasping after; or when they do, they cannot draw that comfort and happiness which they have anticipated from their worldly schemes and pursuits. But a good man's steps are ordered of the Lord, and he has not only the reward of true peace, but has the true enjoyment of the outward gifts of a beneficent Providence. The dignity of the true Christian was brought into view, as a member of the mystical body of Christ; described by John, the beloved disciple, as a woman clothed with the sun; having the moon under her feet; all terrestrial, changeable objects in subjection to Christ, the Sun of righteousness. After sitting down, the pointing to vocal prayer came over me; and in fear I ventured to bow the knee before the Most High; and to ask of Him, who knows our infirmities, to grant preservation to the end of our days; and in his mercy to touch with the finger of his love, the hearts of some who had wandered from the path of rectitude. A Friend, who accompanied me to the meeting, remarked, as we walked away, that William Penn told J. Richardson he thought he might now be cheerful; but I replied, it is best to keep low and on our guard; for I was afraid of anything like getting from under the reduced condition I was in.

A Friend kindly offering to take me to Smithfield, we set off in the afternoon, and next day attended the Monthly Meeting. Here I was painfully affected with the feeling that some who had known something of the visitations of Grace, had not kept their first love; to whom I was led to apply the text given by our Lord, “Every one that does evil hates the light, neither comes to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved; but he that does truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest that they are wrought in God.” I believe there was ability to reach the states of some, and to hold up to others the importance of standing upright in maintaining the testimonies of the gospel: that a plumb, upright pillar, though small, would bear much weight; but if it leaned either way, it was likely to fall and bring down what rested upon it. We dined with our aged friend William Wood, who was kept from meeting by indisposition; afterwards called on a few Friends, and in one family, had a tendering communication on the necessity of being redeemed from the world, and showing our gratitude for the outward blessings conferred upon us, by dedication to our Heavenly Father; and thus become qualified to example and train the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Third-day morning rode back to Short Creek, and was at their Monthly Meeting; in which I was silent.

My friend N. H., having agreed to take me in his carriage to some meetings, we rode to R. C.'s and lodged. Next morning attended Plainfield Monthly Meeting; a small company of Friends; some of whom, I feared, had been more concerned to lay up treasure on earth, than for the right maintenance of the cause of Truth. Many who settled in this country when land was low in price, have through industry, and the advance in the value of it, become comparatively rich; and, it is to be feared, have not increased in heavenly treasure.

24th. Attending Flushing Monthly Meeting, a pretty large company of Friends, I was exceedingly stripped, and the fear of being left to myself, with which I have been unusually tried on this journey, came over me; but I determined to strive to draw near to the Master, and to do nothing without his bidding; and after a time, the direction of the prophet, to bring empty vessels not a few, was presented, with an intimation to rise with it. By keeping low, to the gentle openings of Divine life, I was enabled to preach the gospel; and the power of Truth rose and spread over the meeting. The humble traveler was encouraged not to be alarmed with seasons of poverty and emptiness, when the Master withheld the manifestation of his presence, and there seemed not the least capacity to attain to any good; but patiently abiding here. He will reward these sooner or later, with the smiles of his approbation, and renew their spiritual strength. I was humbly thankful for the evidence which He condescended to give, that He had not forsaken me; and desired to be more given up to endure whatever He sees proper for my good. I know that I cannot bear much favor, but often need stripping; and if I am but kept in the life, and from uttering words without the power, so that the living may savor it, and the negligent be quickened, it is enough, with his approbation.

The ground was now covered with snow, the weather cold, and having nine or ten miles to ride after the meeting, we did not get off till near four o'clock, nor reach Smyrna until some time after dark. The country is very hilly, and we had some roads to pass over which were dangerous in the dark; being cut out of the sides of steep and deep precipices; where a little deviation from the track might plunge us into great ravines. But by slow, careful driving, we got on safely, and were glad to shelter ourselves under a Friend's roof, where hospitality was freely bestowed.

25th. Today we had two appointed meetings; the first near Freeport; in which more Scripture passages were brought to remembrance than is common in my ministry. I thought it might be for the instruction of some, and for the reproof of others, who were active in outward, religious performances, while their hearts and their conduct, at other times, were inconsistent with the Gospel. To some of these the doctrine delivered, was close and pointed. Before leaving the house where we dined, I had a sympathetic communication to the Friend, who appeared to me, to be an exercised woman and under trial.

We then rode to Guernsey Meeting, appointed at two o'clock, which was a large company; mainly plain people. It was an exercising time; the great prevalence of a worldly spirit obstructing the stream of consolation. It seemed as if some had made gold their god; which makes hard work; such being much out of the reach of instrumental labor. We rode to J. B.'s and lodged, and the following morning rose early, and at daybreak, set off for Stillwater. At this meeting some ability was received to labor among them in the love of the Gospel.

27th. First-day. Had a little opportunity with the family where we stayed; in which the necessity of religious care, in exampling the children, and laboring to restrain them from wrong things, and to have their wills subjected, while young, were brought into view. Rode to Captina Meeting; a little company. The exhortation of the Apostle to one of the professing churches, “Examine yourselves whether you be in the faith; prove your ownselves; know you not your ownselves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except you be reprobates?” came before me.

I reminded the company, that it is equally necessary for us at this day to do this, as it was for them. If we are in the true faith, Jesus Christ is dwelling and reigning in our hearts by his Spirit, and we are not in the reprobate state. Two kinds of faith were brought to view; one of which He is the author, in which we have dominion and victory over sin. The other is of our own devising, and leaves man in his sins. The people were admonished not to rely upon a mere belief in the doctrines of religion; without coming to Christ, and receiving faith from Him, that would enable them to overcome temptation and sin. The meeting was closed with supplication. In the afternoon, went to J. Edgerton's, who was absent on a religious visit, and spent a short time with his wife and children, with whom we had a religious opportunity.

29th. Second-day. Attended Somerset Monthly Meeting. The injunction of our Lord, “Labor not for the meat which perishes, but for that meat which endures unto everlasting life,” came before me, and the Master gave ability to search into the states of some who were in danger of being too much engrossed with a worldly spirit; and to strengthen the faithful in the discharge of their various duties; particularly some young and middle-aged Friends; among whom there appeared to be some talented and lively-spirited individuals. These were encouraged, notwithstanding there might not be that dedication in others which they desire, and travail for, to keep themselves steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord; and I believed their labors of love would not be in vain in the Lord; but would be blessed to themselves, and at least to some of their children. It was a good meeting; the humbling, solemnizing power of Truth being over us. While my certificate was before the Monthly Meeting, an elderly Friend remarked, that “Though the Friend might go mourning on his way, bearing precious seed, yet he believed as he was faithful, he would return with joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” I mention these things, only to speak well of the excellent name of the Lord, and to encourage others to put their trust in Him; and to labor to keep close to their Master in their lowest seasons, as well as when He condescends to reign.

We rode to Barnesville, and put up with our kind friends Wm. and E. Green. After breakfast, a portion of the Holy Scriptures was read; a practice which I believe, when properly observed, will be beneficial to parents and children. Though I felt a guard against getting into a habit of making religious communications on such occasions, without the fresh putting forth of the Master, I believed it right to endeavor to encourage the children to yield to the counsel and restraints which their beloved parents thought proper to extend to them. They would find it their true interest; and as they were favored with the visitations of Heavenly Love, and submitted thereto, it would produce true peace and happiness.

This morning, 29th, N. H. returned home, and E. S. of Stillwater, agreeing to take me to the southern meetings, we rode six miles to Richland, and attended an appointed meeting there. This part of the State, and some of the remaining original log dwellings, have the appearance of a newly settled country; while the new and improved houses show the advance of many of the inhabitants in the comforts and means of living. The meeting-house was pretty well filled, and I was engaged to call the attention of those present, to the privations and hardships endured by those who commenced the settlement of the country; the apprehensions they may often have had, as to getting sufficient food for themselves and their little ones; the simplicity of their views; the gratitude they felt for the blessing of Divine Providence upon their labors; the covenants they were willing to make in the days of their beginnings, to serve Him, and the desire they then felt to promote the cause of Truth and righteousness.

They were enquired of, how it is with them now? when prosperity has attended them, and the means of living and various comforts are increasing. Do they suffer these things to absorb their thoughts and affections, and alienate them from the beneficent Creator? And are their children, who have not known these hardships, taking wings and fleeing from the convictions and restraints of Divine Grace into the world and self-gratification? They were reminded of Jacob's setting out in the world; his first night's lodging on the earth with a stone for a pillow; the vision he had of the angels of God ascending and descending upon the ladder; so that he said in the morning, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not: how dreadful is this place; this is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.” And he made a covenant with the Lord, saying, “If God will be with me, and keep me in the way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and raiment to put on, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.” He also set up a stone as a testimony of the covenant he made. When he returned, having become two bands, notwithstanding the hardships he passed through, he went again to Bethel, and renewed his covenant; previously calling on his household, to bring to him their jewels and ornaments, which he hid under the oak in Shechem. The people were solid, and I hoped some good impressions were made. We rode after dinner about nine miles to Senecaville, and put up. In the morning we found the ground covered with snow, and the weather inclement; so that the prospect of getting on over this hilly country to a Friend's house by the next night, was discouraging; but with much industry we got to J. M.'s, at McConnellsville, on the Muskingum River, a little after dark, thirty-three miles. It was pleasant to get under the roof of a Friend.

We rested comfortably, and the next morning, fifth-day, Twelfth month 1st, crossed the river in a horse boat; and over a road mountainous and quite dangerous, when rendered slippery by snow and ice, we rode to Hopewell Meeting; the house being well filled. I felt myself introduced into sympathy with some who, I apprehended, had secret trials to endure, in this newly settled and somewhat wilderness country; and I believed it right to hold up to view, that it was a matter of little moment, where our habitation is, if we are in our right places, and are sincerely endeavoring to know and do our Lord's will. That though some may be taken where they would not; yet, resigning themselves to the Lord, and seeking strength of Him to endure their trials, his love and compassion will be extended to them; and through faithfulness, they will be made a blessing to their families, and prepared for usefulness to others. The spring opened slowly, but in the end the power of Truth tendered the hearts of not a few; and prayer was offered for the sincere traveler, and those of a sorrowful spirit; and that the visitations of heavenly love might be extended to the dear young people. Friends manifested affectionate kindness.

Twelfth month 2nd. Sixth-day. Attended Stillwater Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held once a year at this place. The company was small, seven men and six women. Near the close, I endeavored to hold up the responsibility of the stations we stand in, and of our example to the flock; and the need of daily exercise, that we may be kept alive in the Truth; and season, by our spirits, the minds of the dear youth. Returned to our lodgings, and passed the afternoon in retirement of spirit.

3rd. Attended the Quarterly Meeting for Discipline; wherein, though under fear and emptiness, a renewed qualification was unexpectedly furnished, to preach the gospel of life and salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord; showing that in order to be made partakers of that salvation which He purchased for us, we must be in the daily practice of waiting upon Him for the renewal of strength, by the bread of life and the water of life, which He gives; both for our own growth, and to fit us for every good work in his cause; and to perform that worship to Almighty God which is in spirit and in truth. The rebellious were warned and pleaded with, to turn their backs upon the corruptions of the world, and take the yoke of their Redeemer upon them. The blessedness of the religion of Christ was opened; being inward in its operation; every one receiving Him in his spiritual appearance in the heart, may become possessed of it; and, through perseverance, experience the old man with his deeds to be put off, and the new man put on; and thus be brought under the flaming sword, which separates between the precious and the vile, into the paradise of God, and into the image which Adam was created in. It was a solid time, and the power of Truth went over the meeting.

The subject of education engaging my mind in the second meeting; I endeavored to press on the fathers the great necessity for, and the blessings of a good home education; wherein, with love and firmness, a steady restraint is kept over the children, with relation to dress, company, and indulging them in other things not suitable for them. With the unity of the men and women, I went into the apartment of the latter, and affectionately enjoined this duty upon the mothers also, who are more with the children, and have opportunity of early commencing the regulation of their will and temper; and, by a religious concern and firmness, of bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

4th. Rode out to Chesterfield, about seven miles, to their first-day meeting, which was very large; some Friends stopping there who were on their way home from the Quarterly Meeting. I was here led to speak on the subject that we are not our own, but are bought with a price; and were to glorify God in our bodies and spirits which are his; and that we have no right to say we will go into such a city or place, and buy, and sell, and get gain; but should say, if the Lord will, we will do thus and so. Many have lost ground, in a spiritual sense, by becoming unsettled with a speculative spirit; and without taking counsel of the Divine gift in their own breasts, have removed into distant parts, with a view of promoting their worldly interests. Those who go from their former habitation, like Abraham, by faith, under Divine guidance, have good reason to believe that the blessing of the Lord will go with them; and if they continue to love and serve Him above all, keeping the world under foot, they will prosper in the Truth, and with proper industry, will be blessed in their outward substance. The effects of a worldly, speculative spirit, were opened; and some who had got involved in it, by which they had lost their first love, were affectionately and pressingly entreated once more to open their hearts to the Lord of life and glory, who had long knocked for an entrance, and let Him set up his kingdom there, before it be too late. All were invited to greater devotion to Him, that they might be established in righteousness, and be made more useful in its blessed cause.

Owing to some coming from a distance, the meeting was kept an unusual time in an unsettled state; and though when it appeared proper to rise, I had little before me, the Master was pleased gradually to open one thing after another; and towards the close, a solemn covering was spread over us; some were tendered and the Lord's name was praised. Rode to Plymouth in the afternoon and lodged.

5th. Here we had an appointed meeting at ten o'clock; the people filled the house, yet it was long in settling, and did not prove as satisfactory as some others, though the way opened to treat on various subjects. The spirit of supplication was granted, for the poor and lonely of the flock, and for the preservation of the young people from the snares of a cruel devourer.

6th. Rode back to near Pennsville and lodged. Yesterday's labor left me under fresh feeling of my own inability to do anything. Without the Master furnishing matter and power for the work, all our anxiety and past experience cannot open the spring, nor baptize the people. Holding a meeting today in this place, renewed strong desire to keep near the Shepherd, and to wait his time to see what to do. A large company collected, composed of various descriptions of people, and the prospect was trying. I thought for some time it would be proper to sit there, an example of silent waiting. But after much suffering, from the outward and unsettled state of many, it seemed necessary to rise and open the object of our religious meetings; not to utter words nor to hear words, but to worship God in spirit and in truth. The need of stillness of body, as well as of mind; the benefit of self-control; having our thoughts restrained, and maintaining a patient waiting upon the Lord, were impressed. Every one being gathered to the gift of God in themselves, there would be a united travail to gain ascendency over the roving thoughts; and to experience the solemnizing presence of the Head of the church, to arise into dominion in each one, and over all. The benefit of accustoming children to restraint at home, and to sit still in our religious meetings, enforced by the example and authority of parents; the importance of parents discharging their duties to the children, and of the children submitting to their parents, were affectionately pressed upon them. The prodigals were warned of the fearful consequences of evil company, and pleaded with to come out of it, and return to the path of rectitude, that they might escape the inevitable results of disobedience and rebellion. It was a solemn time in the end, wherein the humbling power of Truth was felt, and I felt clear of the place.

Crossed the Muskingum river, and rode to a private house of entertainment. On fourth-day the 7th, rose before day, and as soon as we could see to drive we set out, making slow progress; the road being stiff clay mud, a little frozen; not travelling more than fifteen miles in six hours. At a small town called Cumberland, we dined as speedily as we could, and went on as soon as was proper for the horses; though it proved a very hard day's toil to them; and about eight o'clock in the evening got to T. W.'s. Some parts of the road, at all times a little unsafe, were rendered quite so, for lack of light, and the danger of sliding on the side of banks that were slippery. We also crossed two bridges in the dark, which our host told us he thought dangerous in the day time; and had it not been for an obscure moonlight we could not have travelled during the last two hours. It was relieving to have a good house to lodge in; being very weary after traveling fourteen hours; nearly all that time sitting in the carriage.

On fifth-day morning, before setting out, we had the family collected, with whom I had a serious opportunity. Got to Barnesyille about noon, and my kind friend Wm. Green offered to take me to Sunbury and Somerton.

9th. Sixth-day had an appointed meeting at Sunbury. A laborious time, without getting much relief; a worldly spirit being in the way, which is hard to contend with. Lodged at D. C.'s, and had a religious opportunity with his family.

10th At an appointed meeting at Somerton, I was kept long in an empty state. Some presentations passed before me, but the recollection of the unrelieving result of yesterday's labor, induced fear of moving, and giving to others what might be altogether designed for instruction to myself. I waited to see whether the Master would call for any vocal service; and his language to his immediate followers, “Without me you can do nothing,” revived; with an intimation to stand up, which I did, and communicated it with fear; adding, if they could do nothing without Him, neither could we. I remembered the expression of an experienced minister, in relation to the early ministers in our Society, that, “As it was once a cross to us to speak, though the Lord required it at our hands, let it never be a cross to us to be silent when He does not.” If we are baptized into the likeness of Christ's death, we shall be, also, in the likeness of his resurrection; and those who are baptized into Him, are baptized into his death. As we abide here, his time, we shall know Him to be unto us the resurrection and the life; when He sees fit to arise, we shall also be raised into newness of life. Other matter to different states opened, and was delivered under the humbling hand of the Lord upon me, and reached the states of some. It appeared afterwards, that I was introduced into sympathy with a young Friend who had been exercised in the ministry.

Dined with two goodly young people; to whom a word of encouragement was offered before we left, and then rode to our friend J. Edgerton's habitation, where we found that his daughter, about seventeen years of age, had just died; having been sick about three weeks.

We sat down with the afflicted mother and children; the father being on a religious visit in New York Yearly Meeting; and mingled our tears with theirs. The resignation which Job manifested, was recommended to them, when he said, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” Returned to William Green's, and lodged; which was a pleasant resting-place to me.

11th. First-day morning, rose before day, and was then taken by W. Green, eighteen miles, to St. Clairsville; and attended their meeting. This felt to me to be a dark place; and after alluding to the sufferings which the righteous experience from the wicked, I was engaged to point out the darkness and progress of the spirit of infidelity. There are those, who, sinning against the convictions of the Holy Spirit; and finding the denunciations of the Scriptures are against them, endeavor to invalidate their truth, and then deny them; but they cannot deny the fearful judgments, which God, by his light, shining at times, into their dark hearts, brings them to feel will be their portion, if they persist in their evil courses; unless, indeed, they become so hardened as to deny the existence of a God; to which dreadful consummation, some appear to be permitted to arrive. It was a laborious, distressing time; and without affording much relief. I was afterwards informed that infidelity prevails in this town to a great extent. I remained here until the next morning, and felt like a prisoner in bonds.

12th. A Friend kindly took me over to Concord; word having been sent for an appointed meeting there, and at two other places. The weather having become cold, the roads which were soft the preceding evening, were now hard frozen and very rough; which made riding very unpleasant. Here, I saw the benefit of yesterday's trial of faith; and being low, I waited patiently for the Master. After several presentations passed by, He brought before me the states of some; to whom I was led to minister in fear. The life of Truth arose, and we were watered together.

13th. Third-day. Some snow fell last night, and the road being very rough, a Friend took me in his sleigh to Harrisville; where we held a meeting by appointment. Here the promise to the poor and needy, who seek water and find none, was revived; and the Lord's poor, who are panting after the living God, were encouraged to maintain their labor and travail of spirit, for the bread and water of life. Some who were in a worldly spirit were closely spoken to. How this worldly-mindedness brings poverty on the professors of Christianity, and distress upon the living members! When the head of a family devotes himself, almost exclusively, to the love of the world, it has a prejudicial influence upon the children. If his companion loves the Truth, it discourages her from being faithful; and thus may derange everything pertaining to their spiritual journey.

14th. This morning I rose with the persuasion it would be right for me to return to those places where I had attended the Monthly Meetings, and hold meetings with the members of the Particular Meetings. I felt it when I was about leaving Barnesville; but having sent notices to several places, I was obliged to come away. In the meeting at St. Clairsville, it came over me with fear that I had been too hasty, in my desire to waste no time, and get through as soon as practicable; and I was brought to offer to do whatever the Lord required; but again hoped it might go off. It was a trial to go back, lest I might be mistaken; but mentioning it to some Friends, T. H. and G. P., they encouraged me; and N. H. very promptly offered to accompany me.

Went to West Grove, where their little meeting-house was filled with Friends and others. I was led to bring to view the circumstance of the original members of our religious Society, being gathered from the various professions, to sit down in silence, and wait upon the Lord. They had been strict in the different ceremonial performances, and tried the most eminent preachers; but failed to find what their longing souls lacked.

After they were brought to see their own inability, and that of others, to supply what they ardently sought, they were drawn to wait upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and found Him in their own hearts. Thus they were gathered to a teacher that could not be taken from them; who could speak to their condition, and give them power over Satan and all his temptations. They received gifts, and were prepared to occupy them to the honor of their Lord and Master, and to the furtherance of others in the way of salvation. So I was led to preach Christ to the people, as their present Savior; as well as the one offering for sin, without them; by whom the Father has forever perfected them that are sanctified, by the spirit of judgment and of burning. And I was enabled to pray fervently to God that He would strengthen the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees; visit the rebellious with his Day-spring from on high; gather the children under the yoke of his dear Son, and increase and preserve a band there, to stand for his blessed name and cause and glory and honor were ascribed unto the Lord God and the Lamb for ever. Amen.

15th. Fifth-day. Rode to Mt. Pleasant. Attended Short Creek Meeting; in which I was led to show, that, according to the apostle's doctrine, there is a measure of suffering for each member to fill up for the body's sake; and which, as he is steadfast to his Lord and Master, will contribute to his own preservation and advancement in the way of holiness. But it is only those who continue with their Lord in his temptations, who will witness this preservation; and for them He will spread a table in the wilderness, and direct them to sit down to eat; and He will come forth and serve them. Not those who turn aside from the narrow way; who are allured by a false light, with which Satan, transformed into the likeness of an angel of light, seeks to deceive and betray those who grow impatient under suffering. It was a season of renewed favor, and ability to communicate, in a gentle and tender manner, some cautions to those who had long made profession of the Truth; and some of whom, had been caught with the delusive presentations of the enemy.

Rode back to N. H.'s; and after dinner, he and I set out for Flushing, and were heartily received by Jacob Branson, who did not seem surprised that I was turned back to that place.

16th. Sixth-day. Notice being sent out in the evening, we had a large meeting, principally of Friends. I felt empty and destitute, and sat there, like a poor, contemptible creature, unable to do or say anything. It lasted so long, that I concluded we should separate in silence; but at length a little opening presenting, I embraced it; and though I endeavored to keep under the clothing of Divine love, some close things were delivered in relation to the benumbing and deadening influence of a worldly spirit; that the wedge of gold destroyed more in the christian church, than perhaps anything else. It was a laborious and exercising meeting, and proved a trial of my faith. In the afternoon went to Plainfield.

Seventh-day. Had an appointed meeting here; in which my dear Lord and Master renewedly furnished ability to dip into the states of some; and to show that as He declared to his disciples, “You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain;” so it was applicable to every regenerated child in his family, in their respective measures and places. He chooses them, as they submit to his heart-changing power; ordains them for the place He allots to them in his church, that they should bring forth fruit to his praise, and their own everlasting peace. Many things were opened pertaining to the christian warfare; and our hearts were tendered and bowed together before the Lord, to whom alone belongs the praise of his works. Rode up to Stillwater in the afternoon.

Many enter upon active life with small means, and are necessarily obliged to make their needs few. When a guard is not strictly kept, this frugal habit may produce a contracted mind, watching at every point to save; and in this way persons often deprive themselves of those means of comfort and mental improvement, which they have within their power; and which they ought to use to qualify them more fully for usefulness in the world, and to prepare the minds of their children to receive right impressions and views, so as to fulfill their duties in civil and religious society. For lack of a proper cultivation and expansion of mind, the nobility of man and the glorious design of the Creator in making him a little lower than the angels, may be lost sight of. When parents suffer themselves to be enslaved by this kind of life, the education of their children is much overlooked; they sometimes grow up like wild plants, and either run out into unsuitable company and practices; or follow the example of the parents in grovelling in the earth. Thus even if the form of religion is kept, the life and power are lost, and degeneracy is spread in our religious community.

18th. First-day. Attended Stillwater meeting; a large, mixed company of people; among whom I had close, laborious service. We rode to J. E.'s, who is still absent on religious service.

19th. Second-day. Had an appointed meeting at the Ridge. The impression was early made on my mind, that much labor had been bestowed on this part of the vineyard, and that the great Lord of the vineyard was looking for fruits; which was communicated. While men may be willing to hear the gospel preached, they may be like the man beholding his natural face in a glass, who goes his way and straightway forgets what manner of man he is. Consolation and encouragement were administered to the afflicted; whose trials, I believed, would be sanctified to them, as they were faithful to their Lord. The Lord's power was in good dominion, and many were much tendered.

Here I parted with some dear Friends in much affection; for whom I felt strong desire that they might grow in the blessed Truth, and become valiant for it in their day. After dinner we rode to our friend Jacob Branson's at Flushing. Having sixteen miles to ride, we rose early next morning, and an hour before day set off for N. H.'s. The moon shining very brightly, we drove with safety, and reached his house between eight and nine o'clock, and proceeded to the Monthly Meeting at Short Creek.

20th. Third-day. In sitting with Friends at Short Creek Monthly Meeting, I felt myself in a destitute condition; as though my supplies were at an end; yet after a time, my mind was introduced into exercise, on account of a spirit that was seeking to lay waste the doctrine of the necessity of being freed from sin in this life; and while living in violation of the Divine law, professing to rely upon the mercy of God in the end. I was gradually opened on the doctrine of christian redemption, and enabled to show that Christ gave Himself for our sins; not to allow man to sin with impunity; but to bring him out of it; and that it is only as we submit to the sanctification of the Spirit, that we can have ground to hope that our past transgressions will be washed away by the blood of the Lamb. Many passages of Holy Scripture were brought before me, showing the necessity of being made free from the practice and habits of sin; and it seemed to me, there were those who had great need to know the powerful operations of the Divine Word, like fire, to purge away the corruptions of their hearts; that they might be brought into acceptance with Him, who is of purer eyes than to look on iniquity and transgression.

The attempts of some, of the present day, to destroy our faith in the spiritual appearance of Christ in the heart, as the hope of glory; which the Apostle denominates the mystery hid from ages and generations, but is now made manifest to the saints, were exposed; and this christian doctrine, which is the glory of the gospel dispensation, was supported by Holy Scripture. The efforts of some to invalidate other doctrines and testimonies of the gospel as held by our ancient Friends, and to tarnish their reputation, were declared against; and I believed it proper to state that history furnished no evidence, so far as I was acquainted with it, that those of us, who had once been in measure subjected by the power of Christ, and afterwards turned against the principles of the Society, ever came to anything in a religious sense, while they remained in that opposition; but I believed that the Lord, in his own way and time, would bring a blast upon such; especially on those who had received spiritual gifts, and occupied prominent stations in the Society. It was very unexpected to be thus led forth, but I believe it was the Lord's doings; and the young people were solemnly warned to beware of all those who seek to weaken their attachment to our religious Society and its christian principles.

At the close of the meeting, a good old Friend, seeing it was a day of favor, gave me a fatherly hint, that it was not of man; and that it is needful to bear in mind that we are nothing. He said he wanted those who were standing for the Truth, to stand. I accepted it as an evidence of love, and desire for my preservation, and wish ever to be kept under those humble, lowly feelings. Went to the Boarding School in the afternoon, where I found agreeable company. The society of those who are in heart devoted to the Lord's cause, and desire nothing so much as its prosperity, is at all times strengthening and consoling; but especially so, when we are separated, for the work's sake, from our beloved nearest connections in life. It is also heightened by the circumstance that we have so often to mingle with those who are in the spirit of the world, or do not feel the interest they ought in the cause of religion.

21st. Fourth-day. I had a meeting with the scholars in the school-house; they were affectionately labored with to draw them from everything that defiles; to enlist under the banner of Christ, that they might witness an establishment in Him, and be prepared for his service in the church and in the world. The tendering, solemnizing presence of the Master was with us. After dinner I took an affectionate leave of our beloved friends, and rode to N. H.'s, where I was pleasantly received by him and his wife.

22nd. During the night the weather became very cold, and the soft snow froze hard on the roads; which made traveling difficult, over the steep hills in this country; yet the clear, cold atmosphere, was bracing and animating. My friend N. H. having informed the Monthly Meeting of his prospect to accompany me to the Northern Quarters, and received its unity, we set out early in the morning, and reached Smithfield, as the people were gathering to a meeting appointed for us. After a season of humble waiting in poverty of spirit, the object of our assembly was treated on; showing that those who are gathered to the gift of God in themselves, depending upon and waiting for Christ, the great Minister of the Sanctuary, receive from Him ability to worship the Father in spirit and in truth, though no vocal ministry be heard. When the Lord authorizes any to preach the gospel, it is a savor of life to these living worshippers, who receive power to try words, as the mouth tastes meat. The blessings conferred through the Holy Scriptures, when they are brought to remembrance and applied by the same Spirit that dictated them, were also spoken of; showing that, though ancient, they are then new. My words, said Christ, are spirit and they are life; and when He opens the scriptures to his children, they convey spirit and life to the soul. It was a season of consolation and renewing of strength, and I felt love flow in my heart; particularly to some of the ancients who had long walked in the Truth.

23rd. The morning was very cold, and we had some fears of being unable to get through a creek we had to pass, owing to the ice. Several on horseback went before, and following the route they pointed out, we got on safely. The meeting was very exercising to me.

24th. Seventh-day. Having heard much said about the difficulty of getting to Salineville, we set out, the morning being very cold, under apprehensions of not arriving there by night.

When we came to Yellow Creek, we found the ice was not of sufficient strength to bear the horses; and with the kind assistance of a person living near, a passage was broken for them to be led through; and we run the carriage quickly over on ice strong enough to support it. We found some parts in the mountain a good deal blocked with drifted snow; but after getting on a mile or two, the road was more broken and settled, and to our surprise, we reached Salineville between two and three o'clock. We were received and entertained very hospitably by Friends; notice was spread, and we held a meeting for the few families of Friends, and some others residing here. It ended to pretty good satisfaction.

On first and second-days we were at Sandy Spring and Augusta, which were both exercising meetings to me. There seemed to be those there whom I could not feel as bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; and such was my distress, that I feared whether I was keeping so close to my Guide as I ought to do, though I endeavored to do the best I could. Towards the close of the latter meeting, however, feeling the spirit of supplication, I prostrated myself before the Lord, and prayed that He would strengthen his children to follow Him in the way of his leading; the aged, the young men, and the youth; and I was comforted by the ability thus granted, to supplicate the Helper of Israel.

The Lord knows how to humble man, and to hide pride from him; and it was the sincere desire of my heart, this afternoon, as I rode to New Garden, to be brought low and kept low having a constant fear of getting wrong. I desired to be enabled to move in child-like obedience to Him; so as to deliver to the people, in a proper spirit and manner, whatever He may require of me. Words will do little without the baptizing power of the Holy Spirit. May the Lord accompany the word spoken, with his Spirit, and fasten them where He sees fit, as nails in a sure place; keep the poor, unworthy creature in the dust, and exalt his own name and power. After a ride of seven or eight miles, we got to J. J.'s, who resides near New Garden meetinghouse; and were agreeably received and lodged by these ancient Friends.

27th. Third-day. A large company collected; Friends, separatists and others; so that the house was crowded. We sat a long time in silence, in which some things were brought before me, which I thought might be designed for the people; but though I endeavored to keep a close eye to the Master, I could not find it was my place to deliver them. The impression was repeated we are nothing, and can do nothing, without Christ. After a time, having an intimation to break up the meeting, I shook hands with my companion. It was a trial to be made as a sign, but I apprehended it was right, expectation after words being high; and it is necessary, when the Head of the church leads into it, to show by example that we cannot preach when man pleases, and that true worship may be performed in solemn silence.

Before leaving our lodgings, it appeared right to hold up to the aged Friends who sat at the head of the meeting, the responsibility of those who are looked to as watchmen on the walls. That it is needful, daily to apply, in humility, for Divine wisdom and strength, to go in and out before the people; and to discriminate between thing and thing; so that they may give a right judgment for the Lord in his church. To keep those in their places, who are forward, and if they are not timely checked, would grow headstrong and high-minded, requires the help of his Spirit. We rode to a Friend's house near New Garden village, who had lately lost her husband; and were there joined by two other Friends, with whom we spent the evening.

28th. Fourth-day. Before leaving the house in the morning, I had a word of consolation for the widow and two of her children; in which Truth tendered us together; and she expressed her thankfulness that I had been there to comfort them. The saying was again realized, “He that waters shall be watered also himself.” We then rode about thirty-two miles to a Friend's house, near Kendal, a poor little town.

Fifth-day. Held a meeting here, in which some were brought into tenderness; it was a small company. After dining, we rode twenty-one miles, through rain and snow, to a Friend's house, near Marlborough. Part of the road led through land that I suppose had never been cleared; the timber was heavy and stood very thick, and it seemed like a wilderness country; requiring hard labor to remove and destroy the wood. Our host seemed to be placed in the woods; and though kind and hospitable, things indicated that they had a pretty rough life.

30th. Sixth-day. Attended an appointed meeting here, which was laborious; fearing that the spirit of infidelity was at work in those remote parts, to destroy the principles of the young people. I was engaged to revive the conversation between our Lord and his disciples, relating to the opinions among men concerning Him; and to show that although the unregenerate could not see the kingdom of God, it was plain Christ was revealed to the disciples, by the Father, as the Son of the living God; and there is no other way by which we can come to the saving knowledge of Him. By the Holy Spirit that proceeds from the Father and the Son, Christ reveals Himself in the heart, and communicates true faith in Himself and in the testimony of the Holy Scriptures. I labored to put the young people on their guard against the dark, insidious spirit of unbelief, which was lurking about, and watching to betray and rob them of their faith; and they were invited to come to Christ, take his yoke upon them, and learn of Him. The parents and the watchmen were reminded of their duty in setting a proper example, and restraining the young people from temptations which surround them. I hope the meeting ended well, though I did not feel that relief I desired. After it was over, I was told there were some present of those who deny Christ in his outward coming in the flesh, and others who deny his appearance, by his Spirit, in the heart. Rode to the house of a Friend, who was formerly a resident in Philadelphia, where we lodged, and were kindly entertained.

On seventh-day, had a meeting at Lexington, with a small company; in which we experienced the tendering power of Divine Grace amongst us. Proceeded after dining, with some young people, to Damascus.

1843, First month 1st. On first-day morning, we were at Springfield Meeting; held in a large brick building near the village of Damascus; in which a numerous company of Friends convene, many of them young. The message of the Apostle was revived, that “God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all;” and, “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son, cleanses us from all sin.” I felt engaged to labor to bring Friends to an individual examination in this light, that they might see their true state; for a plain exterior, and a mere profession, will avail little. I feared there was a lack of inward exercise, that the life and power of Truth might be more witnessed among them. It appeared to me, that through negligence and indifference, there was a danger of some Friends becoming an ill-savor amongst others, and incurring the denunciation, “I will spew you out of my mouth.” I was enabled to discharge my duty honestly amongst them, and felt peace. Went home with a Friend, where several persons coming in, two of whom were not members, but were under affliction from sickness and the loss of a child, we fell into silence a little before it was time to disperse; and a word of consolation arose in my heart towards those afflicted persons; with which they were affected and tendered.

2nd. Rode to Goshen, and held an appointed meeting. The house was filled, an interment of a young woman having taken place, and drawn Friends together from other meetings. She had died after four days' illness. Such a sudden transition, from full health to the grave, brought with it great seriousness. The people gathered very punctually, and soon settled into solemn stillness. I was led to show, that in the prosecution of every right concern in the church, the individual to whom it was communicated, passes through a baptism into death before he was prepared for use in the Divine hand in the service, or for the gathering of others into the church. By submission to those deaths oft; in which openings of duty are removed out of sight; man sees his impotence; that without Christ he can do nothing, and that all wisdom and strength come from Him; and the sincere, fervent desire of his heart then is, that the Lord's will may be done, and Christ alone be honored and exalted. The doctrine of redemption, through obedience to the Spirit of Christ was also enforced; and the meeting closed with solemn supplication to the Father of all our sure mercies, for his continued care and protection; and that those who were brought under affliction by his dispensations, might kiss the rod and Him who has appointed it; and experience their bereavements and trials sanctified and blessed to them. The silence and solemnity over the meeting were such that it seemed difficult to conclude to break it. Friends parted under feelings of religious weight, and thankful for the Lord's goodness to us.

4th. Attended Salem Meeting. After a time of silent exercise and waiting upon the Lord, I was strengthened to bear testimony to the necessity of examining in the light, whether we are walking in the straight and narrow way. There are but two gates and two ways laid down in the Scriptures; and in the end, mankind will be divided into sheep and goats; to one of whom the language will be, “Come, you blessed,” and to the other, “Go, you cursed.” The folly of being swallowed up with the world, was declared against, and retrenchment and self-denial pressed upon some. To the little flock who had bitter cups to partake of, and many baptisms to endure, the language of encouragement was freely held forth.

5th. My valued friend David Fawcett, with whom I became acquainted in North Carolina, being willing to take me to the remaining meetings, as far as Brownsville, Pennsylvania, N. H. concluded to return; and accordingly set out this morning for home. We parted in good fellowship, having travelled in much harmony; he has been a strength to me, and showed true brotherly affection and kindness, in taking me from place to place.

Not feeling clear of New Garden, I attended the regular meeting there, today. Here I was engaged to hold up the spiritual nature of Divine worship, and the necessity of having our dependence withdrawn from man and placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ alone, who ministers to the conditions of his people, and leads them in the way of salvation. Prayer was offered for those who stood as watchmen and judges; that the spirit of discerning and sound judgment might be granted them; and that all classes may be favored to see and to keep in their right places, so that the enemy may get no advantage over them. It was something of a trial to return to this meeting, but in the end I believed it was well.

A meeting having been appointed at Middletown, at ten o'clock, and another at Elk Run, at two o'clock, we rose early, on sixth-day morning, the 6th; and my beloved friend D. Fawcett, took me to the former, eleven miles; which was a season of favor and instruction; particularly on the need of keeping out of all self-confidence; of which, the defection of Peter, who thought that though all men forsook their Lord, yet would not he, was an impressive example. Baptisms, oft repeated, are the means our Master uses to humble us; and unless we submit, and are thereby incited to close watchfulness, we cannot hope for preservation. The meeting in the afternoon was attended by a considerable number of persons not of our Society, who sat quietly attentive to the doctrine delivered, respecting the appearance of the Grace of God in the heart, which brings salvation.

The spirit of prayer was granted, to intercede for the gathering of all into the heavenly harmony; that they may be saved with an everlasting salvation. Rode to A. H.'s, a minister, where we had the company of several Friends.

We rode six miles to Carmel, the 7th, and had a meeting at ten o'clock; in which I was introduced into sympathy with the afflicted, to whom consolation was administered; and then my mind was turned to open to others, the spirituality of this dispensation, and of that baptism, which now saves, and which was set over all the outward washings, dippings and sprinklings that man can apply. Having about eighteen miles to ride to Brighton, we set out, and rode into the town a little after dark.

8th. Attended their first-day meeting, which was small. It appeared to be my place to hold up to view the reduction it was necessary to experience, that we may enter into and walk in the narrow way that leads to everlasting life. The need there is of remembering the history and example of our Savior, whose birth-place was a stable, and his lodging a manger; who appeared on earth as a servant, and not in the pomp and splendor of a prince. As we live in his Spirit, we shall not covet grandeur and wealth; but having food and raiment, we shall be therewith content. The sad consequences of losing a good condition, and the necessity of returning to the place of beginning in the days of our espousals, were pressed upon some; and those among them who were striving to hold fast their allegiance to Christ, were exhorted to keep close to Him, and follow on in faithfulness. Some, I hope, were comforted, and others warned of the day of recompense. The weather having been wet, and the traveling being made difficult, we concluded to remain until morning, as we could not reach Westland short of two days' riding. In the morning we took leave of our friends, and proceeded on our journey.

9th. Second-day. Rode up the margin of the Ohio River, which was very high and covered with floating ice. Our sensations in passing through Rapp's settlement were gloomy. The people settled on it, appearing more like vassals, than free persons; being under his control, and dependent on him for everything they require. To me it seemed dark and distressing; not calculated to promote their present or future best interests.

In the afternoon, crossed the Allegheny River, into Pittsburg, then the Monongahela, and ascended a mountainous hill, on which we met a stage. This started our horses to running back, placing us in a fearful position; but the stage horses being driven very fast, passed us so soon that we got ours to move on up the hill, and thus saved us from being overturned. We went on about six miles from Pittsburg, supped and lodged, and in the morning rode about twenty-three miles, to a Friend's house, where we dined in the afternoon. The roads were now getting deep, with the rain falling, and the frost coming out of the ground, and, the country being mountainous, traveling was laborious and disagreeable. Pennsylvania is remarkable for abundance of water, and the great number of small and large streams. They were pouring down the sides of the great hills, and crossing our road frequently, and the rapidity with which they rose, from the gentle rain, was quite striking; the frost not being altogether out, prevented the water from settling away. We proceeded to J. F.'s, leaving word where we had stopped, of our intention of being at Pike Run Meeting on fifth-day.

11th. Fourth-day. Attended Westland Meeting, and contrary to my expectation, I was raised out of poverty and weakness, to preach the Gospel to those assembled; opening the deceptive workings of the grand enemy to allure man into the love of the world, and trusting to the form of godliness, while in life and conduct he was denying the power thereof. I think Divine help was remarkably extended, enabling me to enter into the states of some; the dangers to which they were exposed, and to labor with them in the tendering restoring love of the Gospel. The spirit of prayer was also granted, under which, supplication was offered to the Father of mercies, that He would renew his visitations to some, and revive the work of religion in their hearts in the midst of the years. That He would mercifully regard the young and inexperienced, defend them from temptation, and in the precious blood of the Lamb, wash away all our sins and transgressions; that so we may be prepared to stand with acceptance before Him, and sing his praise, world without end, Amen. It was a season of humiliation and Divine favor; for which grateful thanks and acknowledgments are due to our Heavenly Father, and his dear Son our Lord Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit.

Went to our beloved afflicted friend Mildred Ratcliff's; dined and lodged. She expressed her gladness at seeing me, and frequently spoke of the goodness of her Lord and Master; with whom she said she had precious communion when left alone; though at other times deeply mourning over the state of the church. She said she loved the Truth and its blessed cause, and believed that the Lord would preserve a faithful remnant, who would be enabled to maintain its doctrines and its testimonies. These would not be permitted to fall to the ground; but the Lord would continue to raise up those whom He would qualify to support them, as in the days of our early Friends, and to bear a plain testimony against wrong things. She was particularly strong in her disapprobation of Friends sleeping in our meetings for Divine worship; on account of which, she said, some thought she had been too severe; but she was decided that such sleeping Quakers were stumbling blocks to honest inquirers after the truth, and that they were denying the faith that would give the victory over all such weakness.

Some Friends came in the evening, which we passed in pleasant, and, I hope, instructive conversation; principally on the state of our religious Society; both in relation to our besetting difficulties, and also on the cheering evidences without and within, that the gracious Head of the church has not forsaken us; but is visiting our dear young people, and giving gifts to sons and daughters, for his glory, and theirs and the church's benefit.

On the following morning I took an affectionate leave of our dear friend, in which she expressed her motherly desire for my preservation, and that the blaster might be with me; which she said she believed would be the case, as He is faithfully and humbly sought unto.

Went to Pike Run Meeting; in which I was engaged to labor with some, who are in danger of settling upon their lees; and having lost the true faith, of saying the Lord will not do good, neither will He do evil. And to warn them of the day that will overtake all, in which He will search Jerusalem with candles; and every man's foundation will be tried. Others were warned against denying the Lord Jesus, in his outward appearance in the prepared body, or in his spiritual appearance in the heart. I was also engaged in close and earnest pleading with some to receive Him into their hearts, before the awful period arrives when the door of mercy will be shut. After the meeting broke up, there was a profligate deist pointed out to me. Though I labored faithfully and felt peace, yet I did not partake of such relief and comfort as I did the day before. J. F. brought me to a Friend's house near Brownsville, where I lodged.

13th. Sixth-day. Had an appointed meeting here, in which the necessity of perseverance was held forth; that having known the arm of the Lord extended for their help, under the storms which assailed them in years past, they might be prepared to detect the enemy in his future stratagems; wherein he was seeking to draw some to deny the spiritual appearance of Christ in the heart; and thus strike a blow at vital religion, which is found only there. Ability was measurably furnished to caution Friends of these stratagems.

Set off this afternoon to go to Sandy Spring Meeting, in the edge of Virginia. We lodged about six miles out from Brownsville, and rising early on seventh-day morning, set out to cross the mountains; the road being extremely rough, and a thin covering of snow on the ground; which continued falling at times, through most of the day. It was a dreary, cold ride, but we were received with great kindness by the Friends. The meeting-house was pretty well filled, and there appeared some opening for service; but many who came, seemed not to understand the nature and importance of a religious life. I was fearful that all that was said, made little impression upon many.

After dinner a young man kindly offered to take me to the turnpike to meet the stage going east, which was effected in a small one-horse sleigh. The stage coming on about ten o'clock, I rode all night, and reached Cumberland about sunrise. There I took the train for Baltimore, which we reached before six o'clock. Lodged in the city, and the next morning took the line for Philadelphia; and on third-day, arrived at my own home; rejoiced to be restored to my beloved wife and children, in peace and safety.

17th. I arrived at my comfortable home, and was through the tender mercy and loving kindness of my gracious Lord and Master, permitted to find my beloved wife and children in good health, and to join them with feelings of peace and tranquillity, after an absence of rather more than two months. Oh, how many favors, temporal and spiritual, we have to be thankful and accountable for! May we not only render Him the return of gratitude and praise, but of increased dedication to his will and service in the world and in the church.

20th. Was held a special Meeting for Sufferings, in which a memorial to the Legislature of Pennsylvania, asking for the passage of a law to defend the free colored population of the State from being kidnapped, was adopted; and four Friends appointed to attend that body with it. When the business was chiefly finished, our friend Thomas Kite, adverted to the publication of a book written by a Dr. Ash of Bristol, England, professedly to expose and refute certain alleged errors in Robert Barclay's Apology. The circumstance took much hold of the meeting, and brought on a lively discussion; in which Friends animadverted freely upon the work, and other attempts made of latter time, to turn the Society away from the faith which it has always maintained, as a body, from its rise. There are parts of the Society in this country, where young persons are much exposed to imposition, both from the attempts to undermine our peculiar testimonies; and also from the busy, insidious efforts of persons, holding the principles of infidelity. As these things were opened, Friends became invested with the conviction, that if we expected to maintain the character and ground we have held as a religious Society, it would be necessary to bear an unequivocal testimony against all such attempts to turn away the members from our Christian faith; and for the information and encouragement of the younger Friends, to draw up a declaration of some of the doctrines and testimonies needful to be revived at this time. A committee of eight or nine Friends was accordingly appointed, with great unanimity, for the purpose. When the committee met, the same unity in the concern was felt, and the members encouraged one another in the work; four Friends were separated, to prepare such a testimony.

At the Meeting for Sufferings in the Third month, a brief history of the rise and progress of the abolition of slavery, and the buying and selling slaves within the limits of the Society, was read. It was compiled chiefly of selected documents and records of meetings; connected by observations and statements of facts, drawn from other sources, and was satisfactory to the meeting.

The committee appointed for the service, in the First month, had prepared, and now produced, a document, entitled, “The Ancient Testimony of the Religious Society of Friends, commonly called Quakers, respecting some of their Christian doctrines and practices.” At the Meeting for Sufferings in the Fourth month, it was read, deliberately considered, and adopted, without a dissenting voice. After the many trials which had been passed through, in bearing our testimony against the innovations attempted upon the doctrines of the Society, it afforded a degree of comfort, that we were enabled to unite so harmoniously in a testimony so decidedly against these errors, and supporting the doctrines of the gospel as held by Friends.

Fourth month 15th. Was held our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders; in which we felt the great change which has been annually taking place within it; so large a number of substantial ministers and elders have been removed by death; while but few, especially ministers, are coming forward to fill their places. Friends were brought under a lively concern, for a more harmonious labor among us.

17th. Commenced the Yearly Meeting for business, throughout which there appeared a satisfactory unity. The Address, prepared by the Meeting for Sufferings, on our doctrines, was very feelingly approbated, and directed to be printed. It was a solid and comfortable meeting. It was the Lord's doings, and doubtless a special favor from Him to encourage his children to faithfulness in his cause, and to show to others that He has not deserted us, however unworthy we are of the least of all his mercies.

Fifth month 3rd and 4th. My wife and myself attended Abington Quarterly Meeting; in which the Lord furnished fresh ability to preach his gospel, and to put up prayer to Him on behalf of some whose faith, at times, was ready to fail. It was a solid, good meeting; in which not a few hearts were contrited, and returned thanks to Him.

23rd. For several months past, I have been led through a wilderness state, in which but little clear shining of the light of the Sun of Righteousness has been dispensed. Fear of the qualification to labor in the cause of Christ, being taken away, has been my portion; under which I have desired to keep patient, and to know the refinement necessary for a follower of Him.

The low state of our Society, in many respects and in many parts, has been much upon me; with apprehensions that some who have been visited, are not coming forward in the strength and devotedness that they ought; while others seem more disposed to promote the assimilating of the members of our Society with others, than to build it up on the faith which the first members were built upon. These things are discouraging; and yet there are not a few among us who are united in the fellowship of suffering; and are praying and watching for the consolation of Israel. If these can do no more, they may, through faithfulness, deliver their own souls; and others, seeing their steadfastness, may be drawn to follow them as they follow Christ. Today I attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting. At the close of the last meeting a word of exhortation sprung in my heart, to encourage Friends to daily, inward travail of soul; that they may be kept alive in the Truth. It was this that made us, in the beginning, a living people, and in which the members were made helpful to one another, and quick, in discerning the devices of the enemy, who is always seeking our destruction, both individually and as a body.

Chapter XV

1843—1844

Religious visit to New York Yearly Meeting—Origin and Intention of the Book Store in Philadelphia—Visits to Various Meetings within his own Yearly Meeting—Religious visit to Indiana Yearly Meeting, and some of its Meetings—Visits to Friends' Schools—Yearly Meeting—The Value of a Religious Life.

1843, Fifth month. I obtained a minute from the Monthly Meeting, and attended New York Yearly Meeting, throughout most of which I found it my place to keep under a silent travail of spirit, for my own preservation, and that I might be ready to receive the intimations of religious duty whenever it pleased the Lord to put me forth in his service. On first-day morning, in the large meeting room, after my friend Thomas Kite had been engaged in the ministry, my way appeared to open to rise with the call of the prophet Jeremiah, “Pass over the isles of Chittim, and see; send unto Kedar, and consider diligently, and see if there be such a thing: Has a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be astonished, O you heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid, be very desolate, says the Lord. For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the Fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” I was led to show that, like the children of Israel, many among us have forsaken the Truth; and where they have done this, they have attempted in various instances to invent substitutes for obedience to the Divine will, inwardly made known, and taking up the cross daily and following Christ in the path of self-denial. It was through the immediate revelation of the Spirit of God, that his disciples could know and declare Him to be the Christ, the Son of the living God; and it is only by the manifestation of the same Spirit, that any now can have true and saving faith in Him. The indispensable necessity of receiving Christ in the heart, that we may know Him for ourselves to save us from our sins, and the danger of losing that precious state, after we have known it, was opened to the people; and his humbling, solemnizing power was felt among us.

We dined in company with several Friends, with whom I was drawn into conversation, on various points of doctrine and practice; and had fears excited that there is danger of some losing that firm attachment to our ancient testimonies, which ought to characterize members, holding important stations in our Society; and a departure from which, by any, is proof that the sure rock and foundation is slidden from.

In the course of the deliberations of the Yearly Meeting, it was to be apprehended that there is danger of the habit of too easily speaking, and therefore too frequently, in these meetings; where religious weight ought always to attend the consideration of subjects, involving the interests of the Society. The indispensable need of being gathered to the gift of God in the heart, was held up to view; that every one might know his place and duty, and receive from the blessed Head of the Church, wisdom, and knowledge, and strength to perform it in his fear, and to his honor and the benefit of the body. Having a gentle intimation that it might be right for me to visit the women's meeting, and my friend Thomas Kite opening to the meeting a concern for the same service, we were set at liberty; after I had informed Friends that my mind had been also turned that way.

In walking up to their apartment I felt exceedingly stripped, and thoughtful whether I had sufficient commission for the proposed visit; which led me to look steadily towards the Master, desiring I might be preserved from acting in any way unbidden. Thomas Kite pretty soon rose, and mentioned various instances recorded in the Scriptures, of the use which the Lord had made of women in his cause and service; and to whom He revealed Himself, and deputed them to announce the glad tidings of the Gospel.

After he had been sometime engaged and had taken his seat, there seemed in me the stirrings of the Holy Spirit, and I was led, in unison with his concern, to encourage those upon whom the weight of the ark, at times, rested heavily, to keep to their religious exercises, even where their number was few in a place; relying upon and being faithful to their Lord; and He would bless them and their steadfastness, to the help of others. The younger part were also invited to enlist under the banner of Christ Jesus, the Captain of salvation, that they might be prepared for service and usefulness here, and for an inheritance hereafter, amongst the saints in light. I came away thankful for the renewed evidence that the Lord was gracious; still qualifying us, unworthy as we are, for his work, and going before, preparing the hearts of some, like Lydia of old, to receive the word preached.

We had several religious opportunities in families, where pretty large companies of young and old were collected: and, I believe, to the contriting of their spirits, and strengthening their desires and resolutions, to follow on to know the Lord with greater dedication. It was a week of close exercise to me, in which I felt myself in bonds, and in fear of doing anything that would hurt any one, or the precious cause; and preservation, I believe, was mercifully granted. I returned in peace, well satisfied that I had given up to the service.

Seventh month 22nd. Luring the past week, the Book Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, has been engaged in getting printed the doctrinal address issued by our late Yearly Meeting. Many of the more elderly Friends in this city, upon whom the care of such matters formerly rested, having been removed by death, the putting forth such a document brought feelings of unusual responsibility over us; lest anything might escape our notice that the opponents of our doctrines could cavil at. There is a spirit working in different parts, and under various pretexts, which is at enmity with the cross of Christ, and the simple self-denying religion into which the Lord led Friends, in the beginning, and which is the strait and narrow way, laid down in the New Testament, as that which leads to everlasting life.

29th. Today in conversation with my friend Samuel Bettle, Sr., upon some of the concerns, and the present state of our religious Society, he informed me, that at their late Monthly Meeting, he had mentioned the subject of erecting a suitable building on the northeast corner of the Arch Street meeting-house ground, for the purpose of depositing Friend's books for sale, and for gratuitous distribution; as a depository of religious tracts, setting forth Friend's principles; as an office for the Treasurer of West-town Boarding School; and an office for a Recording Clerk of the Minutes and Epistles of the Yearly Meeting, and Meeting for Sufferings. Such a building has been long needed, and if properly used, and the various concerns conducted with a single eye to the cause of Christ, and the spread and support of our religious principles, and the real welfare of the rising generation, it may prove a blessing to our religious Society. May those who come after us, if the depository is instituted, be preserved in lowliness and humility of mind; seeking for Divine counsel, that they may be kept from introducing any works tending to impair a sure and full belief of all the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel, as laid down by George Fox, Robert Barclay, William Penn, Isaac Penington, George Whitehead, and others of our primitive Friends. The design is to spread our own principles as they have always been held and published by this Yearly Meeting; and not to give publicity or circulation to any other.

Eighth month 19th. Last third-day, the 15th, I felt my mind turned to the North Meeting, where I accordingly went. A testimony was delivered to some, who, when they saw their state, felt they had need to confess their sins and implore forgiveness, if they expected to partake of the benefits of the mediation and atonement of Him, who is the propitiation for the sins of the whole world, and our holy Advocate with the Father. They were encouraged, not to cast away their hope in the mercy and long forbearance of a gracious Creator; for under these visitations, there was ground to believe that He would forgive their transgressions, and blot them out, and enable them to forsake their wrong ways, and serve Him faithfully. In the afternoon of the 16th, I rode out to my brother Joseph's, at Springfield, where my wife and family had gone a few days before. To their meeting, on fifth-day, I went in emptiness.

My mind was, however, led to look at the state of some dear children, who were loving and serving their Lord and Master, and whom He had made witnesses for Him in their private daily walks, as salt in the earth, and reprovers of the wrong courses of others. These I was led to salute in the renewed springing of the love of the Gospel; also to open to the disobedient, their ways, which are accompanied with convictions of being wrong, and entirely fail to satisfy the secret longings of the immortal soul; and to plead with them to turn to the Lord, when He again visits by his good Spirit, and shows them the consequences of their unfaithfulness, and rebellion. My dear wife closed the meeting in fervent prayer for them, and for some others more advanced in years; and we had cause to thank our compassionate Heavenly Father, for his goodness and condescension to his poor unworthy creatures, and to acknowledge that it all came from his bountiful hand. The difference between a dry and barren state when there is no opening, and being favored with the gentle presentations of the Holy Spirit, raised a hope that the Lord had not forsaken, and that it was his work, in which He was engaging me, for the help of others, and to fill up my own measure of suffering and service.

21st. Rode with others to Concord, and attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. Here, deep seemed to call unto deep, at the noise of the waterspouts. To hear Friends from different parts utter the same language, respecting the poverty and trial they passed through, was encouraging, and confirming that the path which the Lord's children walk in, is much the same everywhere; and the language they use in describing their pilgrimage, very similar. Through Divine goodness, we were enabled to comfort one another in true love and fellowship, and I believe our unity in the blessed Truth was strengthened.

Notwithstanding the dullness of the weather, the next day, many collected; and ability was granted to hand a word of encouragement to them, to hold on their way, in their respective allotments, with a single eye to their Divine Master; who will help and cause them to grow, in his strength, from stature to stature; though but few may be near to take them by the hand, and to cheer them on their heavenly journey. “The righteous holds on his way, and he that has clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” The dear children were tenderly counseled, and invited to take the yoke of the Lord upon them, and come up in the footsteps of his flock, and they would be fitted for service in his church; and to hold up to the nations of the earth, the standard of peace and righteousness. It was a good day.

So much rain fell, that we apprehended there would be some difficulty in fording Chester Creek; the bridges having been nearly all carried away, by a great flood which occurred about three weeks before; destroying, it is said, more than fifty bridges; and several mills, houses and dams in Delaware County. But we got safely to Springfield.

23rd. My wife and I rode into Philadelphia, and attended our Monthly Meeting; by which I was liberated to go to Indiana Yearly Meeting; having had the prospect several months resting upon my mind. Returned to Springfield in the evening.

24th. Went with my brother Joel to Samuel Swain's at London Grove, where we lodged; and the next day attended the Western Quarterly Meeting. It was larger than I had seen it, since the separation; and I trust was owned, in some good degree, by the ever-merciful Shepherd of Israel; though the number of faithful laborers is much reduced here, as it is in most other places. Still there is ground to hope, that a succession of young men and women will come forward, so that the doctrines and testimonies held by Friends will not be lost, in this place.

The principles of unbelief have taken deep hold of many, who were once in membership with us in our Society, in this part of the country; and it is no marvel, if our religious Society should have a long struggle, before it rises above the effects of this mournful defection. We reached West-town School, about eight o'clock that evening; and the following morning rode to Springfield.

Ninth month 13th. I have seldom, in my own meeting, been clothed with more fervent and affectionate solicitude for my fellow professors, than on this occasion; and the gathering, restoring spirit of our Holy High Priest, seemed to be present, to heal and revive some who have long neglected the work of their own salvation. In the prospect of soon leaving home, I was glad to part with my beloved friends, with such a covering of heavenly good. The praise and the glory belong to the Lord our God, to whom with his dear Son, the Lamb immaculate, be ascribed all praise, and honor and thanksgiving, world without end. Amen.

15th. In the afternoon I took an affectionate leave of my dear wife and children, and with Henry Cope for my companion, and Thomas Kite, went on board the steamboat for Baltimore; where we arrived about one o'clock in the morning. We stayed on board until about five o'clock, A. M., sleeping on the seats as well as we could. Breakfasted, and took the cars for Cumberland, at the foot of the Allegheny Mountains. A ride of one hundred and seventy-eight miles, though on a railroad, occasions some fatigue; but this mode of traveling is so expeditious and comfortable, that it may be ranked among the great discoveries and improvements of this day of novelty and invention. We had a fine, extended view of mountain and water scenery, the road being mostly located on the banks of the Patapsco and Potomac Rivers; and were it not for the blighting influence of the unrighteous system of slavery, many parts of the country would exhibit proofs of high culture, and have better buildings than are seen in some places.

At Cumberland, where we arrived between five and six o'clock, we were put into one of the mail coaches, heavily laden; and having nine passengers inside, and the weather warm, riding was irksome; but traveling day and night, we got safely into Wheeling on first-day evening. It is undesirable to be on the road during the first day of the week, but owing to uncertainty of meeting a steamboat at this place, it appeared unsafe to tarry at Baltimore; as we wished to be at the week-day meeting in Cincinnati. A night's rest at Wheeling refreshed us much; and engaging our passage in a steamboat, early in the morning, we left about eleven o'clock. The company behaved respectfully; and some manifesting a disposition to converse, it afforded an opportunity to explain the views of Friends, on slavery and other subjects. The passage was prolonged one day, by the dense fogs on the river; which made it necessary to come to, and fasten to the trees, near the water edge, every night. I often felt little capacity for conversation, and was shut up in silence, at times: being burdened with the light, and frothy and worldly spirits of most of the company. But I believed inward, mental suffering, in steady watchfulness over our words and actions, is not only profitable to our own preservation and growth, but it has a restraining influence over others, and may lead some to examine their own hearts, and strengthen the right-minded, to hold on in the right way.

After a tedious passage of three days, we landed on fifth-day morning, the 21st, at Cincinnati, and attended the regular meeting; which was owned by the Great Master, qualifying to labor amongst them in the love of the gospel; to show some that they had left their first love, and were gone into the earth; and some were getting into the air. I thought I perceived the advantage it was, to have been preserved, on the passage, under suffering with the oppressed seed in the hearts of the earthly, and airy people on board; and I was led affectionately to persuade Friends, to examine themselves where they were, and to turn again to the Lord: and those who sincerely loved the Truth, were encouraged to greater dedication. The meeting ended under feelings of solemnity; Thomas Kite closing it with prayer.

Sixth-day. Called upon our aged and valued friend Ann Shipley, with whom we spent some time in pleasant conversation; and just before parting, we fell into silence; in which my mind was tenderly and affectionately drawn to our dear friend, as to a mother in the Truth; and the language of comfort, and promise of the blessed reward at the end of the race, was imparted; to our mutual refreshing. In the afternoon, visited a woman Friend, in the prime of life, lately acknowledged a minister, to whom counsel was handed, in relation to the occupancy of so important a gift.

23rd. We rose between two and three o'clock; and about four o'clock left the city in a stage, on our way to Richmond distance sixty-five miles; which we reached at dusk, and were kindly received by our friend E. C. and wife, where we were hospitably entertained during the sittings of the Yearly Meeting, and had the company of many interesting Friends.

24th. First-day morning. Felt my mind drawn to Milford Meeting; where we had hard labor for a season, to come to any sense of Divine life, stirring among them; but the Good Shepherd opened the spring a little, and qualified to minister to them; with which my companions afterwards expressed their satisfaction. After dining, we returned to Richmond.

Second-day, attended the Meeting for Sufferings. Third-day, the Meeting of Ministers and Elders; and on fourth-day, a meeting for public worship; in which I was engaged in preaching the gospel of Christ, to a very large congregation; showing the need of perseverance to the end, in order to gain the crown.

The young people were invited to come to Christ and learn of Him. In the afternoon, at the Meeting of Ministers and Elders, it appeared right to open the nature of gospel ministry; showing that they who minister, are to speak as those, through whom the Lord condescends to speak to the people; also alluding to the necessity of not meeting the desire of the people to hear, nor our own, to utter, words. It was the concern of our early Friends, that as it was a great cross to them in the beginning of their ministry to speak, it might not become one to be silent, when they had nothing in command to say.

The Meeting for Sufferings having before it an essay, designed as an address to other christian professors, on slavery, and not feeling quite satisfied with it, referred it back to the committee for revision; and requested the strangers to sit with them; which we did, and aided them in remodeling it; and the meeting adopted it as altered. Sat fifth, sixth and seventh days of the Yearly Meeting much in silence.

First-day, a large concourse of people came together. The young people were unsettled; coming into the meeting at a late hour, and many going out very soon. This is an evidence of defective education; for were they properly instructed, they could not easily disturb a religious meeting; nor would they feel the same inclination to be going out, were their minds impressed, as they ought to be, with the solemnity of Divine worship.

In the forenoon I was silent, other Friends being engaged in the ministry; but in the afternoon I was led to call the attention of Friends to the afflictions, permitted to overtake the Society; and to consider how far our unfaithfulness had brought them upon us. To examine how far the world and its attractions had absorbed the mind; so that some may have forgotten the duties they owe to their Almighty Creator; their spiritual eye had become dim, and they unable to sound an alarm at the approach of the enemy, because they had lost their discernment.

The young people were also spoken to, on their conduct; and all classes invited to draw near to the Lord Almighty; that they might be clothed with the spirit of prayer, to cry unto Him for help in this day of trial; and come up faithfully, in their generation, in showing forth the excellency of the religion we profess, and laboring in its blessed cause. I hope the Spirit of Him who seeks to save that which is lost, and to preserve those who are in danger, was the clothing of my mind; and that his power was exalted over disorderly walkers; and the rightly-exercised comforted.

Tenth month 2nd. Second-day. Much business was done. The address prepared by the Meeting for Sufferings of this Yearly Meeting, on the subject of slavery, was read and approved; also an interesting memorial concerning Joseph Hunt, formerly of Evesham, New Jersey; who deceased in the thirty-second year of his age. The latter gives a very instructive view of his religious growth, and his excellent example, and pertinent counsel to his family: a large number of these papers were directed to be printed.

Third-day. After the business was finished, it seemed incumbent upon me, to endeavor to open a little of the concern I felt, particularly for the young men, in these times of commotion and division; when many spirits are abroad in the world, seeking to unsettle their minds, and draw them from that inward abiding with Christ, the Captain of salvation; wherein only we can be preserved, receive a knowledge of our place and service in the church; and wisdom to do what He requires of us. The danger of listening to those, who would spoil them, through philosophy and vain deceit; and of being led astray from Christ, the Sun of Righteousness; so as to become like wandering stars, was plainly held out to them. The faithful laborers, striving to stem the current of disaffection, were encouraged to maintain their ground, with christian firmness; and the young men invited to deep indwelling at the feet of Jesus; that they may be prepared to bear their share of the weight of the ark, and stand nobly in their day for the cause of Christ. Many Friends, after the meeting was over, expressed their unity with our labors, and the hope that they would prove useful. We passed the remainder of the day at E. C.'s, where a large number called to take an affectionate leave of us.

Fourth-day. Our kind friend E. C. sent H. Cope and myself to Newport, ten miles north of Richmond, where a Friend took us to Cherry Grove Meeting, about seven miles further. It was a heavy time, the spring of the ministry not rising freely.

Fifth-day morning, attended New Garden Meeting. In the afternoon, an appointed meeting held at Newport; which was a mixed company of Friends and the town people. At parting with our beloved friend William Hobbs, he expressed, in a fatherly, discreet manner, his satisfaction with my visit, and labors among them, which was a strength to me.

Attended an appointed meeting at Dover, about six miles from New Garden, and then rode to Richmond.

Tenth month 7th. Rose early to be ready for the stage, but did not get off until some time after daylight; the weather was wet and heavy, which made traveling unpleasant. We passed through Easton; from there to Hamilton, a beautifully situated village; the Miami running through it, and on one side a canal, coming from Cincinnati, through a body of rich productive land; where we hear that large crops of corn are raised. We reached Cincinnati about eight o'clock.

8th. First-day. Attended their morning meeting; in which I was enabled to set forth the nature of the christian religion; which changes the heart, and constrains us, as one of the first duties, to do justly in the sight of our great Creator; not as men pleasers, or eye servants, but in the Lord's fear, who searches the heart. This vital, practical religion, regulates the natural passions and propensities; brings them into subjection, and qualifies man in every station in life, to glorify God in his body and in his spirit, which are his. In its nature and operation, it is plain and simple; consisting in obedience to the Divine will, as made known in the heart. As man, through the power of Divine Grace, glorifies his Maker, he works out his own salvation, with fear and trembling, before Him; and at the same time, is fitted for the Lord's service in the world and in the church. Thomas Kite ended the meeting with prayer.

Feeling a concern to see the members alone, I proposed they should convene in the afternoon; which was agreed to. The number now composing this meeting, we were informed, is about one hundred males and one hundred and fifty females. A pretty large company collected, principally young persons; and I had an opportunity to show, that separated as they are from the body of Friends, some of them coming from places where they had had many advantages, they have increasing need to watch and pray, lest they enter into the temptations around them. Habits or principles, not congenial with the purity and self-denial of the gospel, getting among them, may easily spread; unless those who know the voice of the true Shepherd, keep a firm ground, in steadily opposing wrong things. Faithfulness is not only of great moment to themselves, but may also be so, to the rising city where they dwell. They were affectionately entreated to yield to the tendering convictions of the Spirit of Christ, which some of them had known to operate powerfully on the heart; and lay aside those things which He required them to give up; that He may fashion them for his use; and they would receive the consolations of his peace, to reward them for obedience. Parents were impressively exhorted to watch over the children committed to their charge; commanding them in love, and restraining them from unsuitable things; that, as delegated shepherds, they might guard them from the corruptions of the world, and prepare their hearts for the seed of the kingdom. And no greater joy will they have in advanced life, next to Divine approbation, than to see their sons as olive plants around their table, and their daughters as cornerstones, polished by the Truth, after the similitude of a palace I felt peaceful; Divine help having been extended, to qualify for the discharge of duty.

9th. Second-day. Our friends in this city have shown us much kind and affectionate attention; and I believe have been united to us in the visit. We parted from them with feelings of sincere regard, desiring their growth in the Truth; and took passage in the steamboat for Pittsburg or Wheeling, as it might suit us best. This mode of traveling is less fatiguing than most others; yet the confinement with strangers, and the monotony, add to its wearisomeness. One morning the passengers and men were startled at seeing a large steamboat meeting us, and so near, as to appear improbable the boats could avoid striking.

The engine was working slowly, on account of taking in wood, and the helmsman immediately giving the signal to the engineer, to turn the wheel back, the other boat just passed our bow, without injury. Our danger was occasioned by fog, which prevented those on the two boats from seeing each other in time; we accordingly came to, along side the shore, and waited until the fog had dispersed. The captain said he had known boats to run over others and sink them; so that we had cause to be thankful to our Great Preserver, that no harm was permitted to befall us. How near we sometimes come to the gates of death, without being destroyed, we cannot tell; but we have a merciful Shepherd, who sleeps not by day or night, and constantly cares for us; even when we are not remembering Him; and kindly protects and delivers us from many dangers. May the sons and daughters of men reverence; fear and praise his great and worthy name; and serve Him with the whole heart.

We landed at Wheeling on fourth-day, the 11th; took stage for Cumberland, and from there, by railroad and steamboat, reached the wharf at Philadelphia, about three o'clock on seventh-day morning. It being moonlight, encouraged us to leave the boat at once, and I soon gained entrance into my own dwelling, and was heartily received by my beloved family; finding them all in health, no evil having befallen any of them in my absence; for which, and the help and preservation granted me in the prosecution of this little requisition of duty, and the peaceful mind now enjoyed, I desire to be humbly thankful to my gracious Leader.

On the 30th, feeling a gentle pointing to Chester Monthly Meeting, held in this month at Springfield, I went to it; and in unison with my beloved friend Sarah Emlen, who addressed the young people, I was drawn forth in love towards them, to show them the blessed results of obedience to the Divine commands. The man who was born blind, received sight, after his eyes had been anointed with clay, by following the direction of the Lord Jesus, to go to the pool of Siloam and wash. And when the ten lepers were going to show themselves to the priest, in conformity with Christ's bidding, as they went, they were healed.

Our dear friend S. Emlen, having then a prospect of again spreading before her friends a concern which she had long felt, and once laid before her meetings, to pay a religious visit to England, Ireland, etc, the current of the stream of the ministry seemed to embrace her situation also; encompassed with fears; and proved a strength to her; though I did not know it was her intention to bring it before that meeting. We ought not to magnify our little impressions to duty, beyond their deserts; yet going there in faith, without any other object than a compliance with apprehended duty, and being introduced into fellow feeling with a suffering sister, and enabled in any degree to cheer and animate to faithfulness, was a comfort to me, and a little evidence that the Lord's hand was in it. He that waters shall be watered himself.

Twelfth month 23rd. Feeling my mind drawn to go down to West-town school, I set off this morning. Two deaths having occurred among the scholars, sympathy, and the impression of duty, induced me to make them a visit. Attended their meeting the next day. I was exercised among them in the authority of Truth; being in the first place, led to deal plainly with some of the children; who, it felt to me, were under very little religious restraint in their own minds; but were doing what, at times, they knew was wrong, and inciting one another to the same improper conduct. Then I was turned to the care-takers; to encourage them to a more fervent travail of soul for themselves, and for the children entrusted to their charge. The power of Truth spread over the meeting, and brought the spirits of some down; tendered others, and I hope impressions were made that will be lastingly useful. In the afternoon I felt bound to open to them the ground of our testimony to the use of the plain language; thee and thou to one, and you to more than one. It was the scripture language from Genesis to Revelation; and it was our duty to avoid the corruptions brought in through pride: also, of our testimony against the vain titles given to men, and against the heathen names of the days and months. I returned home on the 25th in peace; but as is very common with me, in poverty of spirit.

1844. First month 1st. Attended at the Girls' Select School by appointment. At the close of the school, after religious reading, was gone through, Thomas Kite had a short communication, on the importance of making a new beginning to improve with the new year. I was impressed with the beautiful ornament of modesty and diffidence, in the female character; especially when it proceeds from the heavenly influences of the spirit of our blessed Redeemer, who was meek and lowly of heart. As I gave up, unworthy as I felt myself, to the gentle impressions of duty, the blessedness and substantial happiness experienced by the devoted soul, in which the Lord condescends to take up his abode, was brought to view; and the dear Children persuaded to yield to the visitations of Divine love. He would clothe them with the modesty, and the graces imparted by his Spirit; which would be as a barrier between them and those who would allure them from the path of holiness.

7th. After a long silence in our Particular Meeting, and passing through much discouragement on my own account, and the opposition which prevails in worldly-minded men, to the plain doctrines of the gospel, I was brought under exercise on account of a state, which had tried many things, and sought after enjoyment in the comforts of life, and was disappointed, and now had little or nothing to rest on. The language of David presented: “I have seen an end of all perfection; but your commandment is exceeding broad.” Earthly comforts and delights, in their most perfect and complete state, would end; but godliness, which is keeping God's commandments, is exceeding broad; having the promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. I felt tenderly for those who seemed to have wasted time and strength, and were brought to a sense of destitution; believing that it was in mercy the Lord thus deals with poor, negligent and unfaithful man; that He may raise in him a longing desire after durable riches; the bread and water of life. These were fervently and affectionately labored with, to persuade them to endure his dispensations, and apply to Him for help and strength, to redeem the lost time, by faithfully following him in the work of regeneration.

At our large evening meeting, we had a long season of close, inward conflict; during which, I expected we should close the sitting, as we did last first-day, without anything being said which, if it was the will of the Head of the church, I believe we were desirous of submitting to, as being in wisdom, and for the good of the people. At the same time, there was a yearning of heart, towards some who were hungering and thirsting after the bread and water of life; and were adopting the language, “Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, where you feed, and where you make your flock to rest at noon; for why should I be as one that turns aside by the flocks of your companions?” and when it seemed near time to separate, I was induced, under fear of omitting my duty, to revive the declaration of our Lord, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them;” and to say that He is in the midst of such, whether they are sensible of it or not; watching over them and beholding their respective conditions. He may try their faith, but He will teach these to keep the word of his patience; and if they wait upon Him, will sustain them, until he sees fit to manifest himself to them. Encouragement was handed to these seeking souls; that although, they may have but few outward helps, yet if they continue dedicated to their Lord, He will cause them to grow in the Truth, so as to be helpers to others. Our beloved friend, Elizabeth Pitfield, knelt in solemn supplication, and the meeting ended to satisfaction.

10th. Today I attended the Western District Meeting after a long absence; and was favored through the unmerited condescension of the Lord our God, to preach the way of life and salvation; being through the cross, and baptisms, and deaths oft.

Second month 5th. We had a good Quarterly Meeting; our friend Isabel Cassin, from England, being exercised among us, and enabled to bring up stones of memorial. She said the struggle was between the seed of the bondmaid and that of the free woman; and to the latter, Christ would give the victory. She was glad to feel Friends in this city, as bone of her bone, and flesh of her flesh, and there were those who are travailing in birth; and some who are shut up as in prison-houses, to whom the language would be uttered, “Go forth you prisoners of hope.” She appeared to have the prospect, that faithful ones would be raised up to maintain the testimonies of Truth; and preach the glad tidings of salvation through a meek, and crucified, and glorified Lord. My dear wife bent the knee in solemn, fervent supplication; by which, and the foregoing testimony, many hearts were tendered.

29th. For many weeks I have been moving along under secret bitterness of spirit. My desires are at times strong for entire victory over every habit or propensity that stands in the way of communion with the Father of mercies. May the Lord in his infinite and unmerited mercy, condescend to show me those things that are contrary to his blessed and holy will, and lead me clean out of them; that I may be more fitted for his use and enabled to hold forth an example of purity, and gravity, and self-denial, that may tend to draw others to the blessed Truth, and settle them on Christ, the Rock and Foundation of his church, and of every living member of it.

Our friend Rachel Priestman, from England, having a desire to hold a meeting with the laboring part of the inhabitants in the southern suburbs of the city, particularly with those who go to places of worship but little, arrangements were made with the trustees of the Methodist Meeting-house, on Wharton Street, for its use; which being granted, notice was spread; both at the first-day meeting there, and by hand-bills through the district.

Last evening a very large concourse met there; many more than could get in the house. It was computed that sixteen hundred were seated; who conducted with much propriety, and to whom our friend preached, at considerable length. After she had spoken, my mind was impressed with the belief, that it would be right to open a little the inward and spiritual nature of the gospel dispensation; reviving the answer of our blessed Lord to the question, “when the kingdom of God should come:” “The kingdom of God,” said He, “comes not with observation; neither shall they say, lo here, or lo there! for behold the kingdom of God is within you.” The great liability to look abroad for that which is to be found within ourselves; and the necessity of experiencing Christ, by his Spirit, to bind the strong man, to spoil his goods, and cast him out, was set before the attentive company; that so every one may know the heart cleansed and sanctified, and made a temple for the Lord of life and glory to dwell in. Divine help was near; enabling both of us to preach the gospel of salvation, through the Son and Sent of God. Our friend closed the meeting with prayer. I understood afterwards, there was general satisfaction with the meeting. Our annual assembly this year was large and solemn.

Many manifested a lively interest in its proceedings; and faithful, exercised Friends, were engaged to labor for the promotion of greater diligence and devotion in all our religious duties. I believe that the blessed Head of the church was graciously near, uniting us together, and qualifying us to do his will, and to show forth the excellent order, and solid weightiness of spirit, that are to be found among his people, where He presides, and every one, in humility, is desiring to keep his place in the body. We have cause to be reverently thankful for his great condescension, and to ascribe all the praise to his great and holy Name.

Information being received during its session, that a treaty had been negotiated by the President, with the Texan government, for the junction of its territories to the dominions of the United States, the Meeting for Sufferings convened at the close of the Yearly Meeting, to consider whether it would be right, for Friends to remonstrate against the contemplated measure; by which slavery and the slave trade would be extended in this land.

Such a document was concluded to be drawn up; a committee was appointed, and on seventh-day morning, the 20th of Fourth month, it was produced, united with, and several Friends named to take it to Washington, for presentation to Congress. They accordingly went to the seat of government; had it offered to the Senate, and had an interview with the President, and with the representatives of our city; and returned on the 25th.

Fifth month 11th. Our city has been thrown into great commotion, and some parts into great terror, by the circumstance of some persons, said to be foreigners, firing into a meeting of Native Americans, convened for political purposes in Northern Liberties.

A religious life is at all times blessed, but its value is most especially felt in times of danger, and at the approach of death. Those who love and serve God in the time of prosperity, will not be forgotten nor deserted by him in the day of adversity. His name will be to them a strong tower, to which they will flee and find safety; even when terror and amazement overtake the worldly and the negligent ones. What solid advantage is derived from giving up to the early visitations of Divine Grace, progressing, through obedience to the cross, from stature to stature, and thereby attaining an establishment in the Truth. These have the pearl of great price, the white stone, and in it a new name written, which no man knows, saving him that has it; an inestimable treasure; Christ living and abiding in them, the hope of their glory, and the foundation upon which they are built and settled. They want no other; they thirst for no other water, than what springs in their souls, from Him, the Fountain of living waters; and their prayer and travail is, that they be made and kept as pillars in his house, that shall go no more out. These are as salt in the earth, and lights in the world; soldiers in the Lamb's army, who bear the ensign of the Prince of Peace; and who will, under his command, finally obtain the victory over death, hell and the grave, in their own experience; and over the kingdom of antichrist the world over; even so, Amen.

16th. Receiving a gentle intimation the day before, to go to the Western District Meeting, I attended it yesterday. A Friend from another Quarter, communicated a few words, on the necessity of praying without ceasing, and in all things giving thanks. Another, not belonging there, knelt soon after, in petition to the Almighty, for preservation, and that as the harvest was great, more laborers might be sent into the harvest field. My duty appeared to be to hold up the plainness and the holiness of the path, which Christ casts up for his children to walk in; that when He comes into a soul, to begin the work of regeneration, He often causes his light to shine as in a dark place; discovering to it its real condition; what it must part with before it can be fit for Him, by his Spirit, to take up his abode in, and before it is prepared to be made use of by Him, in his work and service. To such a soul this is peculiarly one of the days of the Son of man; in which if it submits and does not resist, his love will be shed abroad; He will raise in it fervent cries for strength to forsake all and to follow Him; these cries will be heard and answered. He begets the will, and works the deed in us, and as He is faithfully followed, the soul is gradually led out of everything that defiles, and is contrary to the Divine will; and thus an entrance being obtained at the strait gate, a growth and gradual establishment in the blessed Truth is known. I began low, and the Lord furnished me with matter, one thing opening after another, until the stream rose and overflowed the hearts of some present; softening them down, and renewing desires for a participation in the precious things of God, the blessing of the everlasting hills. Christ Jesus, and Him crucified, was preached; and some who had of latter time been awakened, as I believe, there were such present, were pressingly called to believe on Him, and yield to his heavenly visitations and convictions. Another Friend closed the meeting with prayer, particularly that those to whom the word of reconciliation was committed, might be preserved to the end, and finish their course with joy, and to testify the gospel of God's universal grace. We have great cause to thank Him for his goodness and great condescension to our low and unworthy state; and to put our mouths in the dust; humbly craving that He will suffer neither heights nor depths, principalities nor powers, nor any other creature, to separate us from his love which is in Christ Jesus, our crucified yet victorious Lord and Savior.

Chapter XVI

1844

Changes taking place in Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Lydia Dean—Philadelphia Quarterly Meeting—Concord and Western Quarterly Meetings—Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting—Religious visit to the Meetings in the Northwestern part of New York Yearly Meeting.

1844, Fifth month 25th. Sarah Emlen being about to embark for England on a religious visit, I called at her lodgings last evening, where I found several Friends. After conversing pleasantly for a time, we fell into silence, and several communications were made, encouraging and counseling our dear friend to put her trust in Him who has covered her head in the day of other battles; who is the only foundation upon which we can rest with safety, and the only leader and commander who can guide in the way and work, so that it will yield peace in the conclusion, when a retreat is sounded in the mental ear from the field of service. And how important, at the close of the labor, to have the evidence that we have fought in his ranks, and advocated his cause, and not that of any other. To these He will grant the reward of sweet peace, which is of incomparably higher value than all the applause which vain man can bestow. No party adulation or applause can give peace, but will rob us of it, if we suffer ourselves to be drawn aside from faithfully following the Master.

On the 23rd, I was to the Arch Street Meeting in much weakness and fear, yet did not feel easy to refrain from opening the necessity of knowing Christ to be our baptizer, and sanctifier. These only are his servants, whom the Father will honor. By the humiliating, refining operations of his fiery baptisms, the creature is brought into the state of a little child; looking up to, and leaning upon Him. Hereby preservation is experienced; the spiritual eye is anointed to see, and to discriminate between that which serves God, and that which serves him not.

And as they keep faithful, these are made living witnesses of the power of his resurrection, and the majesty and the mercy which He displays in delivering, leading on, and clothing the soul, with the garments of his righteousness and praise.

Changes are gradually taking place among us in this city. There are now very few left, to whom some of us can look as fathers and mothers, counsellors and supporters, in the trials and exercises of the day. Of the many who wear the garb of Friends, too small a proportion are daily dwelling under a heartfelt concern for their own soul's salvation, and that they may come up as fellow helpers in the cause of Christ. There are, however, some of this description, who are a comfort and strength to their elder brethren and sisters. But how have the love of the world, its fashions and its maxims, together with its ease and its deceitful spirit, captivated not a few who had made a good beginning; stopped their growth, and eaten out the life and power of religion. When we have looked around to see who would be found prepared for the important station of elders, we can discover but few who have not fallen back or are making but little progress; so that instead of being ready for watchmen and watch-women, and instructors of ministers, they have need to be reminded of their slackness, and of the mournful feelings which their unfaithfulness brings over those who have been watching for their growth in the blessed Truth.

This state of society is at times very discouraging; but, nevertheless, we are not to be hindered by such slothful ones, from doing the work which our Master points out, and requires us to perform; whether others hear or refuse to profit by it. To know our own souls delivered from the wrath to come, is of the highest importance to us; and as we are engaged for ourselves, the Lord may secretly bless the honest discharge of duty to others also.

Sixth month 17th. My beloved wife having been engaged in visiting the families of Woodbury Meeting, and being nearly ready to return home, I went there this morning. In the afternoon, G. M. and wife accompanied us to Sculltown; she having a concern to make a visit to a few in that neighborhood; which she accomplished; being favored to minister, in much clearness, to the states of several with whom we had religious opportunities. We returned to Woodbury next afternoon, and to our own quiet, peaceful home in Philadelphia.

21st. Our Meeting for Sufferings was held this day; in which a committee was appointed to draw up a brief address to our members in this State, cautioning them against complying with the requisitions of a militia law, recently enacted by the Legislature. The meeting adjourned to nine o'clock this morning, (22nd,) when the essay was read, carefully examined, and directed to be printed and circulated among the members. The unity and fellowship with which the subject was handled and resulted, was truly encouraging and comforting.

30th. The state of our religious Society, and the secret workings of a spirit which seeks ease and despises the cross, and would, if it could, lay waste the testimonies the Holy Spirit leads into, often brings sorrowful and depressing sensations over those who desire to see those testimonies maintained. Under these feelings, it was a comfort to witness the Truth rise into dominion, through the ministry of my dear wife, this morning in our meeting; who was qualified to preach the necessity of individually experiencing Christ to be the resurrection and the life in us; raising the soul out of a state of spiritual death, and placing the affections upon things that are invisible. It was unexpected to me, but I felt constrained to follow her in supplication to the Lord our God, that He would baptize and rebaptize us with his Holy Spirit, not only to remove the chaff, but to keep alive a flame of love and greater devotion to Him, on the altar of the heart; to unite those who assemble in that place; that they may put shoulder to shoulder; and with one heart, offer to Him, the Lord God and the Lamb, through the powerful influence of the Holy Spirit, thanksgiving and praise, might, majesty, dominion and power, to whom alone it belongs; but to us blushing and confusion of face.

Seventh month 9th. This afternoon was interred, in the Western Burying Ground, the remains of our much beloved friend Lydia Dean, late of New York; a sound and lively minister of the gospel of Christ. She believed it to be her duty to remove to this city, and accordingly came last autumn. Her frame was remarkably delicate; and having been long afflicted with bronchial disease, it terminated in consumption of the lungs; which was the means of cutting short her valuable life.

She was favored, near the close, with a precious glimpse of her Savior; and said, “My Savior has come at last; how glorious!” Her resignation and preparation for death were a sweet consolation to her friends; softening the trial of losing so excellent a minister, and deep travailer for Zion's welfare. She held fast to the end, her integrity to the Truth, as declared and believed by Friends from the rise of the Society; bearing a decided testimony against all attempts at modifying its doctrines, or admitting any innovation upon them.

30th. Poverty and emptiness have been my portion for days past; the thought sometimes arising, whether I shall again be enabled to engage in the Lord's work with acceptance. Yet strong desires have been felt to experience preservation, greater degrees of purification, and a deeper establishment in the Truth.

One after another is being removed from works to rewards; and how soon the awful summons may be sounded in the ear of those left behind, no one of us knows. But it has felt to me increasingly needful, to watch against temptation, and to resist it steadily, that the work of redemption and sanctification may continue to go on with the day.

Eighth month 5th. We held our Quarterly Meeting this day. These meetings are often trying seasons; producing mournful feelings, on account of the lack of fervent, united, spiritual labor, for the prevalence of Divine life, and the lively support of our discipline and testimonies; so that we might see the Truth prevail, and the members prospering in it. And yet, I trust, there is a body preserved, though it may not be numerous, who are united in the fellowship of suffering, for the same blessed cause; mourning and travailing together before the Lord, on account of the effects of a worldly spirit, which cannot bear the cross; even amongst some who would wish our religious Society to be more like the other professors of Christianity, in language, dress and manners. Ah! these have inflicted a severe blow upon us, which we were in nowise prepared to expect. But the Lord on high, who is mightier than the noise of many waters, can sustain his children in their deep probations, and mightily defend his blessed cause; even though the truly devoted in heart may be few; and their strength, at times, seem ready to fail. The turning aside of some, like a deceitful bow in the day of battle, giving their strength in secret to wrong things, is a cause of great discouragement to the single hearted soldiers of Christ. It not only creates doubts and faltering among some others, but it will certainly bring weakness and blindness on themselves.

Feeling drawings to attend Concord and the Western Quarterly Meetings, I went to Springfield, and attended their first-day meeting, on the 18th; in which it appeared to me, that the example of faithful and upright members in the church, would tend to lead others into the narrow way of self-denial, and to keep up a defense against the inroad of error. The obligation parents are under, to rule their children in the authority and wisdom of Truth, and to apply the same kind of restraint to them which they are bound to live under themselves, was also brought to view. Where they permit wrong things in them, they weaken themselves, and do an injury to their offspring.

19th. Accompanied my brother and sister Rhoads to Concord. The Select Meeting was not a very animating time, yet our dear friend and mother in Israel, Hannah Gibbons, had good service.

20th. Was held the Quarterly Meeting for discipline. After some time, I felt it right to revive the apostolic injunction, “Believe not every spirit, but to try the spirits, whether they are of God;” and to hold forth a caution, to beware of the many spirits and voices that are abroad in Christendom; by which the grand enemy is seeking to allure from a steadfast subjection to the Lord Jesus, in his spiritual appearance in the heart. It matters nothing to Satan, by what means he can effect this object; even if it be by engaging the children of our Heavenly Father, in various plans for bettering the condition of mankind, but in which it may not be his will they should engage. If we take the government of ourselves into our own hands, instead of bearing the cross, in doing his will, and his appointed work, we lose his Divine guidance; our spiritual eye will become blind; and we shall grope in the dark, not knowing where we are going. Thus we shall lose the place in the body, which He allots, and must be cast forth as dead branches.

Some who have begun well, and walked in the Truth for a time by unwatchfulness, and gradually again giving way to their own wills, have at last fallen into such darkness, that they have done despite to the Holy Spirit, and landed in a state of entire unbelief. Friends were solemnly called upon to keep to Christ, and his inward guidance, that a growth in grace, and an establishment on Him, the Rock of ages, may be witnessed. The meeting closed with solemn prayer, by Thomas Kite.

21st. I stayed at Concord to attend the Particular Meeting; which was small, being generally so at this time. Some service presented; which was followed by peace; and in the afternoon, I went to the Western Quarter. The Select Meeting was made up of a small number. They were exhorted to increased travail of spirit for themselves, and for the flock. The Apostle James adduces the answer to the prayer of Elijah for rain, after a drought of three years and six months, as proof that the fervent, effectual prayer of a righteous man avails much. And if the members of the church dwell under the clothing of the spirit of prayer, and travail for the prosperity of the cause of Christ, and the transformation of those not yet brought into the Truth, we have ground to believe that it will be answered; and the fruits of their exercise will gradually appear.

23rd. A pretty large company collected at the Quarterly Meeting. Two ministers were led to speak to those who were not occupying the gifts bestowed on them as they ought; and who thus occasioned mourning to the baptized members of the church. From the exercise and travail which prevailed, and the condescension of the Blessed Helper of Israel, I hoped that some good impressions were made; but it is the Lord alone who can give the increase. The next morning I returned home.

29th. This evening a fire occurred in the store adjoining that occupied by me as a warehouse, and where my brother and I had stored the unsold volumes of the “Friends' Library.” The prompt exertions of the firemen prevented much injury to the building; but part of the roof being burned, a large quantity of water was thrown in, which ruined many hundred copies of the Library, and some goods. Several Friends, and other fellow citizens, labored perseveringly to save them; to whose efforts, is to be attributed the preservation of so many, as escaped damage. I esteemed it a favor that the whole contents of the store were not permitted to be burned. Had the fire occurred later in the night, most of the books and goods must have been destroyed.

On returning home from the fire, to change my clothing, being wet through by the water pouring down on us while passing the books to the lower story, the language passed through my mind, “Shall we receive good at the hand of the Lord, and shall we not receive evil;” and resignation was and has been the clothing of my spirit. Ninth month 1st. Went to Newtown Meeting; where I was engaged in warning some of the danger of spending time without being employed in the great work of salvation; and to pray for them, and the poor of the flock, that we might be helped, and kept through all, to the end. Returned with sensations of poverty and weakness; yet without seeing that I had done wrong in anything.

2nd. Today calm and peaceful, and without condemnation; and remembered as I walked the street, what Paul says. “There is, therefore, now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus; who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit;” and I have tried to look to Him, and to pray to Him for preservation herein.

10th. My wife and myself went to our friend S. and B. N.'s, at Haddonfield, and lodged; and the following morning we accompanied them to Medford, where was held, at this time, Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting. The Select Meeting, which is much reduced, was a season of inward poverty; and yet, towards the close, there seemed a spring of encouragement opened; in which it appeared to be the Master's will that we should endeavor to draw nearer to one another in spirit, and strengthen each other's hands for the Lord's work. He can cause one to chase a thousand, and two to put ten thousand to flight, if they are girded with his strength; and their eye and confidence are directed to the Lord alone. We dined at A. H.'s, where we had the company of Hinchman Haines, an honest laborer and burden-bearer in the Lord's cause; also of several others; and their conversation and solid deportment were cheering and strengthening.

12th. In the morning a large company convened at the meeting. I feared the lack of individual labor for the bread of life, and looking for it through instrumental channels, shut up the spring of the ministry. H. Haines said a few words, and my dear wife knelt in fervent supplication on account of the lack of spiritual exercise, in many convened. The number of true travailers for the arising of Divine life, was felt to be small and the weight resting on a few, very great; for whose help and steadfastness, she also petitioned the Father of Mercies. It was some relief; and the meeting soon afterwards proceeded to its business. When the business was gone through, our friend H. H. made some remarks on the members joining the political processions and exhibitions of the present day; which he considered to be below the dignity of men, and much more of Christians.

My mind had been under exercise on account of Friends mingling with those political parties and associations, and I revived the ancient testimony; “Lo! the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.” Whenever they did mix with them, they were caught in their idolatrous practices, lost their strength, and were often overrun and overpowered by them; because they forsook the Lord and his worship. And so it is with us. Those who join the political assemblies, lose their spiritual strength; become impregnated with their spirit; and, if they continue, become like fruitless branches, cut off from the vine; they are dead, as to the Divine life, and the men of this world gather them into their fellowships, and they are burned or destroyed, as to any life or virtue. Friends were called upon to observe whether any one, let his station be what it may, is not crippled by thus associating in these worldly combinations. Such are not alive in the Truth; and it is obvious to their brethren that they have lost ground; and their example must have a prejudicial influence upon the younger and inexperienced members. Several Friends united fully with what was said, and it appeared to reach some. We remained until seventh-day morning, and then returned home.

Tenth month 3rd. Last week I was attacked with fever; which, with the remedies used, reduced me not a little. Being unaccustomed to sickness, it brought me low in body and mind; in which I was engaged to take a retrospect of my life; which seemed much of a blank. How little appears to have been done, compared with the time, and the offers of best Help. Oh for more deep, inward abiding with the Seed of Divine life; that a larger growth in the Truth, and more solid religious exercise and weightiness of spirit may be attained. That I may be enabled to go in and out before the flock, in such manner, as to turn them to Christ, and induce them to take His yoke upon them and follow Him.

Eleventh month. Having had a prospect for many months of visiting at some period, the meetings of Friends in the northwestern parts of New York Yearly Meeting, and the present appearing to be the proper season for undertaking it, I laid the concern before the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, and obtained the unity and certificates of those meetings with it. Parting with my beloved wife and children; leaving my business in the hands of persons of little experience, and traveling in a cold, snowy country in the winter, made the undertaking more trying than on some other occasions; but believing it was in the ordering of best Wisdom, I made preparation, and with my kind and beloved friend, Joseph Elkinton, an elder of the same meeting, set out from home on the 25th of the Eleventh month, in our own conveyance, and got to New York on the 27th. We made an attempt to put our carriage and horses on board of a steamboat for Hudson, but the tide was so low it was impracticable to accomplish it, as the horses could not descend the bridge to the deck. The great hurry in landing and loading goods and produce, owing to the cold weather, and the fear of the navigation soon closing, made it difficult to get the carriage and horses on board the steamer; and in the attempt to accomplish it, agreeable to the direction of the captain, who had agreed to take them, the tongue of the wagon was broken, and we defeated. The detention of a day, under all the circumstances of the lateness of the season, was very trying to us; especially as it was uncertain that we could get them up the river by the next boat.

The 28th was a wet and dark, cloudy day, not very cheering to the spirit; but through the perseverance of my companion, we got all on board the boat. Here we were detained three hours after the usual time, waiting for a loaded sloop, which he was to tow up; and owing to this, the heavy deck load, and the storm which had prevailed through the night, the boat rocked so much, they were often compelled to stop the engine, for fear of breaking the shaft, when a wheel would be deeply immersed; all which retarded our progress, so that we did not reach Catskill until about one o'clock, instead of six in the morning. In the course of the evening, when the boat careened greatly, I suppose one of our horses slipped, and struck his foot against one of the sash of the forward cabin, knocking it completely in. The crash of the glass, and the noise he made on the deck, in recovering himself, gave the passengers in the cabin the idea that he was entirely loose, and might soon be down the stairway among them. The affair was rather ludicrous, and soon passed over, when properly understood. But all these occurrences had their effect upon our spirits. In the night, awaking in my berth, they seemed to be against me; but I was reminded of the situation of the Apostle Paul; that he was a night and a day in the deep and this was no proof that his mission was not valid; so I endeavored to keep in the faith, and press on. They had some difficulty in bringing the steamboat to the wharf at Catskill; which put some of the sailors in a bad humor; and everything being nearly covered with ice, and the ropes frozen, it was with great effort they got the carriage and horses landed. When on shore, we harnessed up, and drove out that afternoon to Grant's tavern, sixteen miles, and put up. The next day we rode to R. B.'s, about twenty-eight miles; she, and several of her children settled near her, being members. Here we had a meeting at the house of one of her sons, on first-day, being the first of the Twelfth month.

It rained during the night, after our arrival, and about eight, o'clock in the morning, the wind changing, the rain turned to snow; which made everything, out of the house, look dreary, and doubtful as to the meeting. But more collected than we had reason to expect; and I trust, the gospel of salvation, through our Lord Jesus Christ, both in his coming in the prepared body to do his Father's will, and by his Spirit in the heart, was preached among them; showing the necessity to co-operate with the latter, in order to reap the full benefit of the former. Some were tendered.

After dinner we set out on our journey; but the horses' shoes being very smooth, and the road, in places, icy and covered with partly melted snow, they slipped so much we made but little progress, and stopped at a tavern for the night, where there was a probability of getting the shoes sharpened. In these journeyings, little difficulties are often magnified by the imagination; producing fears as to how we shall get through; and whether we shall accomplish the work to the honor of our Holy Redeemer, and be favored to return to our dear home friends in safety and peace. These are trials of faith, which such poor unworthy pilgrims have to endure; and doubtless the trial of our faith, which is more precious than gold that perishes, is essentially needful to keep us humble, and to quicken our desires unto Him, and to the remembrance of his name.

Twelfth month 2nd. This morning the weather was cold, but when our horses were ready we set out; finding ourselves much relieved by their being able to take a firm hold of the ice; and in the afternoon we got to our friend H. B.'s, at Oneonta. Notice was spread of our wish to have a meeting at Laurens. It was truly grateful to get under the roof of kind friends, in a land strange to us; several others came during the evening, with whom we conversed on subjects connected with the principles and order of our religious Society. Third-day went to the meeting in weakness, and under desire that the Master might be with us; which I hope was in good degree experienced, to the tendering of some hearts.

Fourth-day. The snow continuing upon the ground, we were furnished with a sleigh to carry us to Butternuts; it being the time of their Monthly Meeting. Here I felt the importance of moving under right direction: that no advantage in any way might be taken of what was said, should I find it my place to communicate anything among them.

The indispensable necessity of daily waiting upon the Lord, for the renewal of our spiritual strength, and to be preserved quick of discernment in his fear, to keep us from the temptations that surround us, was brought before me, and with feelings of caution, and dependence upon the Head of the church, I rose, and as things gradually opened, delivered them, under a clothing of sincere desire for the present and everlasting welfare of the people. The solemnizing presence of Him, who is in the midst of them who gather in his name, was felt, and I believe carried home to some, the truth of the doctrines preached. The need of submitting to the renewed baptisms of the Holy Spirit, was enforced, that as fruit-bearing branches, we may be prepared to continue to the end, in bringing forth fruit to the praise of the Great Husbandman. Some who had known this in their beginning, growing unwilling to come again and again under its reducing power, and thinking themselves able to decide and act from their attainments, have fallen away. And the necessity of being fervently engaged to crave strength to yield to and bear those purging operations, that we may be kept as little children, relying upon the Lord day by day, was affectionately pressed upon Friends.

5th. We had an appointed meeting at Otego, held in the house of a Friend. The company was nearly all composed of persons not of our Society, who conducted in a very sober manner, and to whom the gospel of salvation was preached. C. B. who piloted us there, exhorted the people to receive the word preached, and afterwards told us they were a tender-hearted people. Here we were met by J. T., who conducted us to his house, near Oneonta; where we lodged, and next morning had a religious opportunity with his family. Our object in coming back to this neighborhood, was, to take a sleigh to perform the remainder of the journey, should the snow continue, leaving our carriage at H. B.'s; but this day and the succeeding night, the weather growing warmer, the snow nearly disappeared, and we decided to keep to our comfortable carriage.

7th. Accompanied by H. B. and C. B., who set out to be at Le Bay Quarterly Meeting. We left the house of the former, where we had been kindly cared for, and rode to New Berlin, dined and fed our horses. It rained most of the way, which made the ground muddy, and the traveling laborious, over the mountainous country to Smyrna, about thirty-four miles. After a tedious ride it was grateful, as night was coming on, to be made welcome at the house of two women Friends, who received and entertained us in a frank and comfortable manner.

The weather changed; the wind rose and blew with much violence, and the roads froze hard that night; making them very rough; and our meeting, in consequence of the cold and snow, was small. I was engaged to encourage some to faithfulness, and to warn others against the snare of lawful things; by which the mind is often so absorbed, as to close it up against the Truth and its requirings. Some, who seemed like withered branches, were also warned of their danger, and invited to turn to Him whom they had forsaken.

After dining, we set off to De Buyter, piloted by H. K. and his wife. Hard, rough roads, obliged us to travel slowly, and we did not reach the habitation of a Friend until about an hour after dark, by which exposure we were much chilled. But the hospitable Friends came out to us as soon as they found we were strangers, and invited us in with a promptness and earnestness, which bespoke a sincere readiness to entertain us; which is peculiarly agreeable to such pilgrims as we are. A young man was despatched to the house of a Friend, two miles distant, to spread notice of a meeting to be held the next morning which was done, so as to convene all their members, and some others. We had some religious communication in the evening, and hoped our visit here was in right ordering.

9th. We went to the meeting, and through holy help, I was enabled to open the doctrine of christian perfection, and the necessity of being made and kept free from sin; that we might become partakers of that full redemption, which comes by Jesus Christ; and in the end be acknowledged by Him in the presence of the Father and his holy angels. We went to the house of a newly received member, whose wife remarked that doctrine was the same which persons in that neighborhood despised, and some despised them for holding it. That evening we rode about ten miles, mostly over a bad road, and lodged.

10th. Set out early, and rode about twenty-five miles, to a Friend's house, near Skaneateles. Here we met a hospitable reception, and our guide, after taking some refreshment, went on foot about four miles to a Friend's house, to give information of a meeting, to be held the next day, at Skaneateles. There he got a horse and went about five miles further, by which the notice was spread generally. Before leaving our quarters, I had a tendering opportunity with the wife of our host, on the responsibility of her station as mother of several children, whom she was bound to watch over, and guard from the temptations that surround, as far as was in her power. If she was faithful to the will of God, and rightly concerned for her own salvation, I believed she would feel a deep interest in that of her children, and would be led to pour forth her prayers and her tears before the Lord, that He would lay his Divine hand upon them, and bless and preserve them. We then went to meeting where we met a little company; towards whom my mind was drawn in affectionate desire for their best welfare. The testimony that, “Godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come,” was brought before me; and I was led to show that the promise of this life, and of that which is to come, is to no other state or condition.

That wealth cannot purchase it, but is often possessed where there is neither happiness here, nor good ground to hope for it hereafter. The uncertainty of riches was also pointed out even where they were pulling down and building greater accommodations for their goods, but that the awful language might be sounded in the ear, “You fool, this night your soul shall be required of you, then whose shall all those things be which you have provided.” The Master helped me to preach the gospel with convincing force, and some worldly-minded ones were brought to tears. I felt humbly thankful for his condescension and goodness to them and to myself.

We dined in the village, and went about fourteen miles, on our way to North Street Scipio Meeting, and next day, which was their Preparative Meeting, we went to it. Here I was led to treat on the great importance of having our hearts imbued with love to God, and love to one another, especially as we were approaching old age, and according to the natural course, must soon leave everything here below. In heaven there is nothing inconsistent with holy harmony and love, and hence the necessity of knowing this to prevail and predominate in our hearts over everything else. Though it will not lead us to unite with wrong things, yet it will lead us to desire that those who have got wrong, may be convinced of their error, and reclaimed.

The lack of spiritual discernment among us, was alluded to, which attends and arises from the inordinate love and pursuit of the things of this world. But I believed the Lord would lay his hand upon this people, and restore it, and make a division in their view between the precious and the vile; and a body would again be raised up, who should stand for the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel, which He called our forefathers to bear. Christ Jesus is the Head of the true church, and can alone fit us for membership in it. It is his prerogative to appoint the place for the members in his mystical body; and if any one refuses to submit to his preparing hand, they cannot be initiated; and if after being made members, they resume the government of themselves, leave the function which He allotted them, and undertake to do something else, they will lose that Divine life which flows from Him into every member; however plausible the object they may engage in. “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine, no more can you except you abide in me. He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.” I thought the doctrine was not acceptable to some; but felt peaceful in leaving it with them. We dined at H. H.'s, who kindly offered to keep our horses, and take us in his carriage to Scipio, the next day. Lodged at our friends Joseph and Sarah Talcott's and passed the evening in agreeable conversation, respecting many things connected with the cause of righteousness; particularly the declining state of our religious Society.

13th. In the morning we had a tendering opportunity with the old Friends, two of their children, and a grandson. Towards the younger Friends, my mind was affectionately drawn, that they might be brought to yield to the will of their Heavenly Father, take up the cross, and openly confess Christ before men.

Rode four miles to Scipio, which was a large meeting, being held by appointment. I felt low and empty, but after a time, I believed it right to rise with the expression, that true religion was not an outside thing, which we could take upon ourselves when we pleased; nor was it to be put off, according to the company or the circumstances in which we might be placed. Our Lord commanded his disciples, to let their yes be yes, and their no, no. They were not to say yes, when they meant no. And when He sent them forth, He commanded them, not take two coats apiece. They were not to wear one coat or appearance in one company, and another in different company.

Many things were opened by the good Remembrancer, without whom we can do nothing; especially the doctrine of the universality of Divine grace, and the impossibility without it, of truly seeing and feeling our lost condition, sunk in the pit of sin and corruption. Christ alone by his Divine and saving light, which enlightens every man that comes into the world, can give us a true sight and sense of this state, and raise in us the cry, “A Savior or I die; a Redeemer or I perish forever.” At seasons He visits the soul for this purpose, and if it resists not, He will lift it out of its lost state, and restore man into the Divine image. I was humbly bowed for the present favor; and thanksgiving, and prayer for continued preservation, were vocally offered to the Father of all our sure mercies.

Returned to H. H.'s, and after dining, his son, took us in their carriage to Union Springs, about eight miles north where we had an appointed meeting with the few Friends residing there; held at the house of an aged Friend, where they generally convene on first and fifth-day, for the purpose of Divine worship. I endeavored to discharge myself under affectionate desires for the present and everlasting welfare of those who were assembled; and though some tears were shed, yet I feared the impression might be of but short duration.

14th. Snow fell this morning very fast, but getting an early breakfast, we rode down Cayuga Lake to Aurora, where we were met by our carriage and horses, which we resumed and proceeded on our way to Hector. By the time we reached the ferry, we found little snow remaining, and after waiting three-fourths of an hour, for the ferryman, who was on the opposite shore when we arrived, we got under way; but a directly head wind, a horse boat with little power, and an expanse of water three miles in width, kept us nearly two hours getting to the opposite shore. The road being pretty good, we drove to A. K. O.'s in about three hours, and were kindly received and entertained.

15th. Attended their first-day meeting, which gathered very irregularly, and was a very trying time to me. The spirit of unbelief, arising from a departure from the true and living God, and becoming involved in sin and wickedness, appeared to me to have taken possession of some; with which I had a fight of affliction, without seeming to gain much ascendency. I was led to speak of the progress of iniquity, how one violation of the Divine law makes way for another; that hardness of heart ensues, and finally some lose their reputation among men. Very little relief was obtained, and I left them, covered with sadness, and wondering whether I was mistaken in what I had said.

In the afternoon, having our friend A. K. O. as guide, we rode to Ovid, nineteen miles, and put up at an inn, snow falling pretty fast most of the way. In the course of conversation through the evening; A. K. O. informed us of some circumstances, of a very dark and shocking character, which seemed to explain the cause of my difficulty and distress in their meeting. This gave me relief; and hope sprung up that, according to the condition of the people, the Master would baptize us; and thereby prevent us from crying peace when there is none; and if this is mercifully the case, though suffering is my lot, there is no just cause for doubting that the present engagement is in his ordering.

16th. We rose early, and rode down the eastern bank of Seneca Lake to Geneva, a flourishing town, near the outlet of this body of water. The wind blew strong and cold across the lake, and snow almost constantly falling, made the ride dreary and wintry in its influence upon us. At another season of the year, and under different circumstances from ours, the country and the scenery must be delightful. Judging from the fine and expensive buildings, which many farmers erect in this part of New York, the country must be very fertile, and the people prosperous. But some go beyond their own means, and embarrass themselves and others, in their pecuniary transactions. The great press after wealth, and the inordinate pursuit of trade to acquire it, absorb their time and all their energies; so that a life of self-denial and devotedness to the will of God, revealed in the heart, is too little known by the great mass of professing Christians. Where a worldly spirit predominates, religion is but little thought of, and the way is open to pride, and spending time, when not engaged in commerce, in a way dissipating to the mind, and displeasing to our Almighty Creator. Many in our religious Society are caught with the love of money, and become covered with the lust of the world, as with thick clay.

Thus our religious meetings are often places of much suffering, to the self-denying Christian, instead of comfort, strength and rejoicing. This discourages the sincere-hearted, and turns the young people out of the right way. When will the Lord arise in his power, and not only shake the heavens, but the earth also, in order that those things which are shaken may be removed out of the way, and those which cannot be shaken may remain.

After a ride of forty-one miles, we reached J. E.'s, and lodged. We proposed holding a meeting next day at Palmyra, which we found some difficulty in bringing about; and some of the members, we had reason to think, did not hear of it.

The meeting held on the 17th, was small and distressing; but I endeavored to discharge my duty towards some who were swallowed up in the world, and had brought difficulties on themselves and others; and the spirit of supplication being poured out, I was enabled to pray for the poor of the flock, who desired to be found in the right way; and that the Lord would not take his Spirit from us, but go with and preserve us in the work to which He has appointed us. This afforded me some relief.

After dining, we rode about four miles to H. P.'s; snow falling and accumulating; which gives everything a dreary aspect, and produces apprehensions of our being unable to get through with the carriage. But I endeavor to cast my care upon the Lord. We passed the time pleasantly under the roof of this kind Friend and his wife, with, I hope, some profit and strength to them, as well as comfort to ourselves.

18th. Attended Mardon Preparative Meeting; which was a more relieving time than some others; and in the afternoon we parted from our kind friends, and rode to J. L.'s, within Farmington Preparative Meeting. This Friend, who came into the country at an early age, and has seen the direful effects of ardent spirits upon many around him, gave us some account of the change that has taken place in that respect since his arrival. He seemed much interested in promoting the cause of temperance; which, as far as we can do by precept and example, without mingling, in an improper manner, with persons not of our religious profession, it is very important we should promote. I gave him an account of the difference of practice which now prevailed within our Yearly Meeting, in the use of fermented drinks, which were nearly discarded, and water used as the common beverage.

19th. Was at the meeting of Farmington composed chiefly of Friends, who are warm and active advocates for the freedom of the colored people, and of the total disuse of ardent spirits. They spend much time in discussing these topics; lecturing upon them, and attending meetings held for the purpose. There is reason to fear, that dwelling almost exclusively upon these subjects, there is a danger of getting from under the government of Truth; and that daily exercise of mind, which is necessary for our spiritual growth; in which the voice of the true Shepherd is heard, and we are led along by Him in the way and work which He allots to the various members of his church.

After a time of silent waiting upon the Lord, who only knows the states of the people, and what is proper for them, I was led to open the necessity of being really brought into the dispensation of the gospel; in which we come to know Christ to be the Captain of our salvation; clothing us with his invincible armor, and making us victorious over the man of sin and son of perdition, in ourselves. He is given for God's salvation to the ends of the earth, and He will not give his glory to another, nor his praise to any graven image, or substitute of man's devising. He alone can give lost man a true sense of his condition; in which state he is spiritually dead, and can no more bring himself to a correct feeling of his condition, until he is quickened by Him who is the resurrection and the life, than a dead body can feel or perceive its state. The Truth was exalted over all the specious devices of man; and I had comfort in the evidence that the blessed Helper of his people, enabled me to discharge myself of what He required.

20th. Had an appointed meeting at Rochester, which was pretty well attended; and some plain truths were delivered among them; under a sincere desire that those who had got wrong might be brought to see their condition, and through the pardoning mercy of Him who came to seek and to save that which is lost, be reclaimed and restored to their right mind; and that humble state be experienced, in which they could wash the Master's feet with their tears, and wipe them, as the poor woman formerly, with the hairs of their head. Left Rochester after our horses had been fed, and reached our friend B. B.'s, a little before night.

22nd. We were at their first-day meeting, which collected very irregularly; perhaps owing to persons of other persuasions coming in. It was a long time before we could come at any thing like quiet settlement. But the way opened at last to treat on the nature of inward, spiritual worship; which is not performed through a dependence upon man, but upon Christ Jesus, the Minister of the sanctuary; who appears in the midst of those that are gathered in his name, and ministers to their states, enabling them to offer acceptable sacrifices to God, by and through Him. The doctrine of the gospel, that we must be made free from sin; and the dangerous consequence of supposing that we may continue in sin with impunity, because Christ suffered for our sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, was brought to view. It seemed to me, there were those present, who regarded the doctrine with some surprise, and doubted its practicability. The meeting afforded but little relief. How many nominal, outside professors and worshippers there are, who are blind to the real nature of the gospel dispensation, and the holiness which it requires. If they go to meeting once or twice a week, and profess faith in Christ, as their surety against the wrath to come, a great proportion live in the gratification of their carnal appetites, without thinking of the necessity of denying themselves, taking up their cross daily, and following Christ in the way in which He would lead. Alas what will such a dead, formal religion avail, which leaves the heart unchanged, and can furnish no substantial ground upon which to rest a hope of everlasting life.

In the morning, I had a religious opportunity in the family in which we were much broken together, under a precious sense of the Lord's goodness in providing for us in our pilgrimage through this country; separated from our nearest connections, at home; and in which, the kindness of Friends in conducting us from place to place, and the unity of those who sincerely love the Truth, were felt and acknowledged. The language of encouragement flowed to some present, to maintain their ground in faithfully adhering to the Truth; and to the children, to take counsel of their parents, both in relation to their dress, and the company they should keep. In the evening, some Friends called to see us; and after spending part of it in social converse, we fell into silence, and I was engaged to draw their attention to the degeneracy that has overtaken our religious Society, and to the necessity of individual faithfulness; both in a daily travail of spirit for their own advancement in the Divine life, and in the discharge of their duties in the support of the discipline, and the various testimonies Friends are called to bear.

23rd. It commenced raining early, and continued most of the morning. We set out for Elba, having our friend B. E. to pilot us. The traveling was slavish to the horses, and very uncomfortable to us; the wind being chilling, and the snow driving in upon us. We stopped in Batavia, dined with E. E., and leaving word of our intention to hold a meeting the next day at Elba, rode there in the afternoon.

24th. Attended the meeting; in which I believe the Master introduced me into a sense of the states of some, and qualified to labor with some who were living in creaturely indulgences; and others, who I feared, were despising the Truth; while their conduct and conversation were far from that purity which pertains to the gospel dispensation, and without which no man can see the Lord. Faithful, fervent labor was extended; and humble supplication offered, to the Father of mercies, for some, that they might be brought into the vineyard to labor; even if it might be at the eleventh hour of the day. Also for a remnant who mourn over the degeneracy among them; and for the young people, that the Lord would lay his hand again and again upon them, and bring them into his fold, that they may stand for his cause in that place. Scarcely a single one among them looked like a Friend's child, and I was afraid some of the older ones cared little about it. In the afternoon we rode to Shelby, seventeen miles. Part of the road was hard dragging through the snow, which was a little frozen. This renewed our fears of difficulty in getting on, if we should find the snow deep; but we try to keep hold of faith, that way will be made for us; having great cause of thankfulness that the Lord has helped us hitherto. May we be humbled before Him; wait upon Him daily, for the renewal of our strength; and may He keep us inward in spirit, watching our thoughts, words and actions, that the Truth may not be evilly spoken of on our account. We were kindly received at Shelby, and comfortably accommodated.

The female head of the family appears to be a religiously exercised Friend; and concerned about the course pursued by some, in lecturing to mixed companies upon slavery, and encouraging their children to go to such meetings; sometimes leaving their own meetings for worship to attend them. What unsettlement has been produced in some neighborhoods, among Friends, by the leaders of the people joining with others, in their political, abolition, or other meetings.

25th. The meeting at Shelby was small. After a time of waiting in silence, I believed it right to say, there was such a thing as Christ being pressed down in the hearts of men, as a cart is pressed under sheaves; and those who are his faithful followers, must be willing to suffer with Him. The Apostle said that he partook of the sufferings of Christ, that remained to be filled up for the bodies' sake, which is the church. And Christ said, it is enough for the disciple to be as his master, and the servant as his lord; if they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call them of his household. But if we are planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection; and be raised up to walk in newness of life. This doctrine may be called mysticism by the carnally minded, who rely on their own wisdom and strength, and are unwilling to submit to be baptized with Christ in his sufferings, and therefore they reject it. I was enabled to show that there is no other way to be made members of his church, nor to be preserved alive in the Truth, but by thus submitting to his dispensations. At the close of the meeting, I felt clear of those who were present, and peaceful in my own mind.

After dining, we went to Hartland, twelve miles, and put up with kind Friends. Information was spread of our intention to be at their meeting next day, and a messenger was sent to Somerset, to have notice spread of a meeting there, in the afternoon, at three o'clock; both of which we attended on the 26th. Some qualification was given in them to labor to strengthen the things that remain, that are ready to die; and to encourage those in whose hearts the Lord is at work, to be faithful to Him, and patiently endure his dispensations; by which his servants are prepared for his use. And even where a single individual is thus fitted, like Deborah, who arose a mother in Israel, they often have an important influence in leading others in the right way of the Lord, and in the government of the church. We rode back to Hartland, part of the way through a wet, logged road, which was cut in many places into deep holes; not reaching our quarters until darkness made some part of the ride hazardous; but we were favored to get through without accident.

27th. After a religious opportunity with the Friends, we set out for Lockport, to attend a meeting appointed there for us. The company was one of the smallest we had yet sat with. I felt empty of everything like a qualification in myself to minister to any one; but after a time, the parable of the sower who went out to sow, presented; showing various obstructions to the growth of the seed; and under the humbling, tendering power of Truth, I was enabled to hold forth a warning to those who had known the good seed to spring up, and bear some fruit, lest other things entering into their hearts, it should become choked, and bring no more fruit to perfection.

28th. We got an early start for Hamburgh, about forty-two miles. In some places the ground was frozen very rough; having been much tramped up; which made traveling tedious. Our course lay along the canal; Tonawanda Creek, which we crossed; and from there by the side of the railroad to Buffalo. Here I had the first view of the Niagara River; in which are the grand falls; of the shore belonging to a foreign nation, and the outlet of one of the great lakes, for which North America is celebrated.

It inspired peculiar feelings, arising from the grandeur of the scenery, and the wonderful efforts which man is making to turn the produce and trade of distant States into these inland seas, and from there through the enterprising State of New York, to its metropolis. The great destruction of human life at Buffalo, some time since, occasioned by a high wind blowing over the lake, and driving the water up Buffalo Creek to such a height as to drown a large number of people in their houses, and to cause the destruction of much property, cast a shade for a time over the prosperity of the place; and proved how suddenly, He who holds the power in his hands, can arrest man in his career, and bring a blast over his proud attempts to aggrandize himself. We stopped here with S. C, and after taking some refreshment, proceeded to Hamburg, which we reached about dusk, and put up with a Friend.

29th. We attended the first-day meeting. My mind was saluted with the language of our Savior to the Samaritan woman, “You worship you know not what;” accompanied with the sense, that there was a lack in some, of that knowledge of the Father and the Son, which is life eternal. Also Paul's address to the Athenians, presented, that as he passed by and beheld their devotions, he found an altar, with the inscription, “To the unknown God.” The life of religion being almost extinct in many, and perhaps altogether so in some, I was kept low with it; and administered in plainness what opened upon my mind.

Having twenty miles to ride to the next meeting, we got immediately into our carriage, and rode to Collins, and put up with a Friend. He soon despatched a young man with notice for a meeting in the morning, and we passed the evening in his humble cottage, in cheerful conversation, and peaceful feelings. From what I afterwards heard, there was great cause for our distressing feelings at Hamburg.

30th. The morning was stormy, but a pretty large number convened; among whom were more exercised Friends than we meet with in some places. This was encouraging; yet it felt to me there was need in others, to experience the cleansing power of Divine grace in their hearts; that they might show forth its efficacy in their lives and conduct, and thereby invite others into the path of purity; instead of being stumbling-blocks to sincere inquirers, and leading the young people from the flock of Christ's companions. He is not a Jew, who is one outwardly, but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, and not in the letter, whose praise is not of men but of God. For lack of being really, what some desired to be thought by others, the way of Truth had been evilly spoken of, through their corrupt practices; and thus the cause had suffered. I was distressed, when the meeting was over, from having such things to communicate, fearing lest I might be mistaken; it is so much more agreeable to be employed in drawing the children to Christ, and in comforting the afflicted and mourning ones, because of the desolations of Zion.

Afterwards an exercised Friend said, that now it was over, she would say, that their condition had been truly described; and she wished that it might have the proper effect. It was pleasant to have the company of a few honest-hearted Friends at our lodgings; who were also cheered with having an opportunity of mingling with Friends from other parts, who speak a language which they understand, and which goes to strengthen them; and shows that they are not mistaken in their exercises; and that the children of our Heavenly Father have similar baptisms to pass through in their various allotments.

31st. Went to Clear Creek, and attended the meeting appointed for me; which was slow in gathering, and thereby disturbed and unsettled by persons coming in late. It was another laborious opportunity; many manifesting indifference. I felt peculiar interest in a state present, which I believed was hungering and thirsting for something to satisfy the longings of an immortal soul; and to whom the invitation was extended, to come unto Christ, who was secretly begetting these desires, and bringing in his or her view a cloud over the things of this world.

Chapter XVII

1845

Continuation of Visit in New York State.

1845, First month 1st. This morning we rose early, and set out to visit a small meeting at Ellery, about forty-five miles southwest; but after riding five miles through a woody country, we found the road so covered with ice—the snow having melted and then frozen, that we we were unable to proceed with safety.

The great descents and ascents on the hills, made it dangerous to attempt to pass over them in our carriage; which would slide from side to side on these narrow, rounding roads, and render us liable to overturn, or be thrown off them; and which would be likely to increase as we got to a more mountainous country: feeling easy to omit the meeting, we returned to the house where we had left our baggage. From there we proceeded to Buffalo, where we reached about dusk; and after supper, had a meeting at the house of our friend S. C, with about twenty persons; who were mostly members, but whose appearance gave little indication of it. The Lord granted ability to minister to their states, and the spirit of supplication to intercede for those who were endeavoring to walk in the right way; that his power might be manifested to sustain them, and renew their faith when reduced and proven; and that the young persons might become enamored with the Truth, and drawn from the delusive gratifications of this vain and transitory world. This opportunity was relieving; and induced the hope, from the feelings of peace, that I was not forsaken; for after passing through what I had for several days, and the necessity to turn back from Ellery; I began to fear lest I was mistaken in proceeding, and home and my beloved family being brought very near, in affectionate recollection; the thought presented, whether I had not better turn homeward. But the next morning, it seemed proper to pursue my original prospect of going into Canada; and after getting a clearance from the customs officer, which detained us some time, we crossed the Niagara River; and the officer there making no difficulty, we rode nineteen miles on our way to Pelham, and put up our horses to feed near the great falls.

Here we had a fine view of this stupendous cataract. The whole body of a great river, the outlet to these inland seas, which lie to the west and north-west, pouring over a breastwork nearly two hundred feet high, of massive stone, and in width about one mile. The rushing and roar of this mighty torrent, the foam and spray, created by its dashing on the rocks below; the formation of a perfect rainbow by the rays of light decomposed in the vapor, constantly rising and falling again like a thick shower of fine rain; and also the foam and vapor and rainbow colors mingled together, in the various parts of the cascade, presented one of the grandest scenes that I had ever beheld. It far exceeded my imagination of it; and to me, it was surprising, that any one could turn from it with disappointment; but as magnificent and overpowering as are these extraordinary falls of water, they are an atom in the great works of the Almighty Creator.

We were late getting to a Friend's house at Pelham; having ridden fourteen miles after four o'clock; part of the way along the Well and Canal, which connects Lakes Erie and Ontario; and night coming on, made the road in some places difficult and dangerous. It was a great relief to us to be overtaken by a kind Friend, who supposing from our carriage that we were Friends, rode up to our guide, and ascertaining who we were, piloted us to his house.

3rd. Had an appointed meeting at Pelham; in which the call and qualification for the ministry, and the preparation requisite for the reception of this and all the diversified gifts which the great Head of the church dispenses to those who yield to his sanctifying power, came before me; and which, after a time of silent waiting, I believed it right to open. After our Savior commissioned his disciples to teach all nations, He directed them to tarry at Jerusalem until they were endued with power from on high. Paul, speaking of his ministry, says “He neither received it of man, neither was he taught it but by the revelation of Jesus Christ;” and there remains to be no other source for the work of the ministry, down to the present day. This was the experience of Friends from the beginning, who were brought off from all dependence on themselves, or on any man, to wait upon the Lord; from whom they received gifts for the ministry, and for judging in Israel, to discern and try words and spirits. It was not a time of abounding. The meeting appeared to be in rather a languishing state; the members, I feared, depending too much on vocal ministry. They were exhorted to gather to the Divine gift in themselves, that they might receive ability to worship the Father in spirit and in truth, and to partake of that food which the Son of Man will give.

Being detained that afternoon by the stormy weather, I had some serious conversation with the Friend at whose house we stopped. He expressed much concern at the state of the Society among them; particularly on account of ministers encouraging a coalition with other professors; speaking lightly of some of the testimonies held by us; and of our early Friends, as having been contracted and illiberal. I encouraged him to keep to the ancient ground; for I believed that all such defective members would finally show more clearly, that they were destitute of the life and substance of religion. This is one means by which the growth of our Society is greatly obstructed; the young people, who are in the air, being delighted with such sentiments; which make way for them to indulge in the corrupt fashions and language of the world; and to mingle with others, until they lose all relish for serious things, and for their own religious Society; whose principles they judge to be too strict for them.

4th. We rode to Stony Creek, and lodged at a tavern. Next morning rose early, and went seven miles to Hamilton, at the head of Lake Ontario, to breakfast; and about two o'clock got to O. Ws, at the Jersey settlement. He and his wife, and one son remain members, the rest having left the Society. They are thirty-two miles from Norwich, to which meeting they belong; which shows the disadvantage of members settling themselves, so as to be out of reach of meetings and the company of their friends. We found it had been a stopping place for many of our English Friends, passing through, and for others traveling in the work of the ministry; but, it is affecting to find members located where they, with a rising family, are deprived of the advantages of religious society.

Notice being spread, a pretty large number of the neighbors collected, in the evening, with whom we held a religious meeting.

For a time I labored along with difficulty, but at length Truth arose, and qualified to set before them the importance of being true believers in our Lord Jesus Christ, and the danger of resting in a mere historical belief, without knowing Him to save us from our sins. Those who had known the shedding abroad of Divine love, tendering their hearts, convicting them of sin, and bringing them under the baptism of repentance, were warned of the danger of resting in the conclusion that they had now obtained religion; and when the Messenger of the covenant appears as a refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap, further to purify them, turn away, apprehending they are already regenerated; and thus fall short of that perfect redemption, and growth from stature to stature in Christ, which makes the true Christian. The opportunity was closed with prayer to the Father of Mercies, for his continued goodness in visiting the souls which He has made; reviving the work in the midst of the years of some, and granting preservation and strength to perform our duty to Him and to one another. I thought some of the company were brought under serious feelings, from the manner in which they spoke with us; which I found afterwards to be the case.

6th. This morning we set out for Norwich, but had not proceeded far, before one of the iron axletrees broke in the middle, and the carriage being on a long, steep hill, up which I was walking, I could not make my companion hear until the wheel was completely separated from the under works; tearing away part of the frame, and the wood work on the axletree. We took off the body, and put a drag under the end of the broken axle; secured our baggage upon it to return to O. W.'s, but as my companion was driving the horses down this steep, icy hill, finding their shoes too smooth to hold back, they ran down so fast as to throw him down, and being obliged to let go the lines to save himself from being thrown over the precipitous side of the hill, they went off with full speed through the woods, and striking a stump or two, broke one of the forewheels to pieces, and so shattered the remainder, that at first sight, we doubted whether it would be worth attempting to have it repaired. The horses were stopped after running, perhaps, an eighth of a mile, by a man working near the road, or they would probably have ruined themselves among the trees and high stumps. Our situation, as we walked up the corresponding hill, out of the valley, to see what had become of them, felt discouraging; yet in the midst of our troubles, it was cause of thankfulness that we were preserved from serious injury. After viewing the ruins, we became more composed; procured a man with his wagon to carry the wreck back to O. W.'s, and from there sent to a carriage-maker; who said it could be repaired in a few days, while we were gone to Norwich; and our friends were very kind, doing everything for us they could.

7th. Two persons agreeing to drive us to Norwich, in a lumber wagon, our runaway horses were put to it, and we reached Wm. B.'s, near the meeting-house before dark; having ridden thirty-two miles, about half of it in a driving snow, which, in an open conveyance, was an unusual exposure to us; but we did not suffer much inconvenience. The company of consistent Friends who are interested in the welfare of our Society, had a cheering effect, after our disaster, and we passed the evening in suitable conversation. But the wormwood and the gall would come up in remembrance, and in the night season I tried to cry to the Lord for an evidence that I was in my right place; but his face seemed to be hid from me; and I hoped it was a dispensation for my renewed humiliation, which in time would be followed with good. It seemed like the chastising rod: perhaps I had grown a little too easy, after some of the helping seasons I had been favored with.

8th. Went to meeting, which is perhaps the largest country meeting in this Yearly Meeting. I felt poor, and fearful of being wrong or doing wrong; but strove to look up to the Master, and to wait upon Him for direction. Two states were brought before me; one a low, suffering seed, not numerous, but who were endeavoring to fill up their measure of duty, and whom the Lord qualified to behold the gradual lapse of some from the Truth, and what they had once known of it, and who mourned over such. The other, one that is sunk in the earth, exerting every faculty and energy to acquire property; by which their time and thoughts are absorbed; so that the work of salvation, the necessary daily, spiritual food for the immortal soul, and a deep and living concern for the education of their children in the fear of the Lord are overlooked; and the lambs entrusted to their care are suffered to run at large, entering into various kinds of society, and into the corrupt practices of the world. After a time it appeared proper to open these views, which I did in weakness and fear; the enemy doubtless striving to hinder the work by his suggestions that I was deserted, and all I could say would do no good. But I kept patient and low, and spoke as things gradually arose; and after a time, the Lord in mercy touched our hearts with the finger of his love and tendering power, and brought us to tears; giving me a renewed sense of my nothingness and inability to do anything without Him; and his compassionate goodness was felt so as to affect many of us, and to carry conviction home to others. My soul humbly bowed in reverence and thankfulness before Him. The business of the Monthly Meeting was transacted, I had no doubt, on the part of not a few, under a sincere concern that it should be rightly managed. I feared, however, they were too easy in receiving persons into membership, and I mentioned, it was easier to increase a nation, than to increase its joy and strength. My companion was afterwards told, that the condition of the meeting was remarkably described. So that we have cause to trust in the Lord at all times, keeping a single eye to, and closely following his leadings, though in fear and weakness. After dining, we set out on our way back to a Friend's house, five miles; called on M. P., a minister and a widow with eight children; with whom we had a religious opportunity, encouraging them to be faithful to the Truth, and the Lord would be a father to them and preserve them; which brought them to tenderness and tears.

9th. We returned to O. W.'s and found our carriage repaired. The next morning, after a sitting with the family, from whom we had received much kindness and attention, we set out on our journey towards the north side of Lake Ontario; and after dark reached the house of an English family, part of which belongs to our religious Society. Here we lodged, and were brought into sympathy with them on account of some keen afflictions which they had been passing through.

11th. This morning, after they had read a chapter, at the breakfast table, of which I was glad to find them in the practice, I believed it right to say that all the dispensations of Divine Providence are in inscrutable wisdom, and tend to hide pride from man. Some trials we bring on ourselves, and some are brought upon us by others; and I exhorted them, under their afflictions, to humble themselves before their Heavenly Father inquiring of Him what is his will concerning them in these things, and applying to Him for the help of his Spirit, to profit by them. The ride along the lake was rather dreary, through fields of stumps, dead trees, and forests of growing timber; which made the sight of a busy town, as we approached Toronto, quite cheering. It seemed like coming into the civilized and habitable parts of the earth once more; and after turning into Yonge Street, we were surprised at the cultivated land, and the great number of good buildings, thickly strewed along this fine road. We put up for the night, at a tavern, nine miles from the city, where we had excellent provision for ourselves and horses.

Requesting an early breakfast, we rose between five and six o'clock, and a little before seven were in our carriages; having twenty miles to ride to Yonge Street Meeting; which we accomplished with ease, the road being smooth and frozen hard.

12th. First-day took some refreshment at a Friend's, near the meeting-house, and then went to the meeting; which was not large. The Master gave the word, and the states of some were ministered to; in which I had peace. Speaking of the effect which submission to the Spirit of Christ would produce, in separating man from the love of his worldly possessions, I mentioned how much quarreling about property would be avoided; every one being willing to suffer, rather than do wrong to another; looking upon themselves, like the early Christians, as stewards of their earthly substance; willing to appropriate it to relieve the necessities of others, after providing for themselves and their families. The Friend with whom we stayed said one man at meeting would understand, at least, a part of the communication; being of a family much given to contention about their inheritance. Being altogether strangers to everybody here, it was confirming that the Lord still condescended to help us, his poor dependent servants, from his sanctuary. We lodged with the Friend at whose house we called.

13th and 14th. We had appointed meetings at Whitchurch and Tecumseh; in which I endeavored to do what appeared to be required. They were both small meetings, yet the houses were nearly filled; and though considerable part of the assembly were not Friends, they sat with becoming seriousness and quiet. In the latter meeting, I was particularly engaged to speak on the many trials and afflictions which overtake us in this life; and it being rather unusual for me to dwell so decidedly upon that subject, I mentioned that I did not know there were any present under peculiar trial, but if there were, I wished such to profit by them, and be instructed in the great instability of earthly possessions. In supplication to the Father of mercies, I was led to petition that the everlasting arms might be underneath; to sustain those who are in affliction, and that their faith might be renewed in Him. The Friend who took us to the meeting, told us, as we were riding back to his house, that two or three days before, a person intoxicated, attempted to commit personal injury upon an industrious, orderly young man; and also had threatened to burn down the outbuildings on his farm, which he had made some effort to accomplish; and that this young man and his brother were at the meeting. How necessary, in the little services we may have to perform, to keep close to our guide, and not attempt to choose for ourselves, or refuse to communicate that which the omniscient One gives. I mention this, as I hesitated, in my own mind, to speak on afflictions; because it is a subject easily and often commented on; but nothing else appeared to come before me to say. We had a cold ride in a sleigh, of fifteen miles, out and back to the house of the Friend, who, with his valuable wife, took very kind care of us.

15th. Attended the Select Preparative Meeting, and on the 16th, the Monthly Meeting of Yonge Street. The latter was a large collection of Friends; amongst whom I had a close testimony on the degeneracy of many, who, like Ephraim, have joined themselves to idols; and whose strength strangers have devoured, and they know it not. The eager pursuit of wealth, has so absorbed the time and energies of many, that they are a dead weight upon the Society; deriving little or no benefit from, and conferring none upon it. These neglect the imperative duty of Divine worship, keep their children from the way of Truth, and their religious meetings. The meeting minuted its unity with the labor.

This morning we found snow had fallen through the night, and pretty soon it commenced again, and fell constantly through the day. We try to hope that the good Hand will keep and provide for us, so that we shall be able to accomplish the service required, and join our beloved families in peace. The distance between us and our homes, seems greater, owing to the inclement season, and the dangers of the way; but the Lord can strengthen us to surmount them all.

17th. Lodged the second night at E. D.'s, near the meetinghouse; who appeared to understand the state of our religious Society, and with whom we had some conversation about it. The Monthly Meeting holding late yesterday, we did not set out for Uxbridge until this morning. We were kindly conveyed to it in a sleigh, by one of the Friend's sons the distance being eighteen miles. The carriages were driven to Pickering by two young men who came up to the Monthly Meeting; to which Friends of that place belong. The weather was stormy; hail, rain or snow falling most of the time; yet we suffered but little from the cold, and got in earlier than we had looked for.

Twelve miles of the road were through a wilderness, in which we saw but one house; and bears, deer and wolves are found there in considerable numbers. We quartered at the house of a Friend, who went from Pennsylvania; but his mode of living is not quite like that in the thickly settled counties of that State. Yet he appeared to be in a thriving condition. A Friend having gone on before, to spread notice for a meeting, a company of Canadian-looking men, with woollen caps, and a corresponding number of women, nearly all of whom had children with them, assembled in their small meeting-house, surrounded by snow fifteen or eighteen inches deep. Though I felt empty and somewhat depressed, yet Divine help was extended to speak to their conditions, and to hold forth the indispensable necessity of working while it is day, in the vineyard of their own hearts; before the night comes, in which no man can work. The sight of so many women who had turned out with their infants, in snow and cold, impressed me with the belief that they wanted to meet with good, and I hoped they were not disappointed. It came before me, to allude to the hardships that mothers have sometimes to endure; the continual care of the children, and the necessary provision for them and their families; which much confined them at home; and to plead a little, with their hardy husbands, to divide the toil, and to soften, as far as in their power, the difficulties their wives have to endure. I think the tendering power of Truth was felt, and they shook hands very cordially with me when the meeting closed.

18th. This morning the weather was cold, and the wind from the northwest; but our road lying much through the woods, we were a good deal defended from its force. Before we started, I was drawn to sit down with the family, and to remind them of the uncertainty of their earthly possessions, and that riches can do nothing for us when the end comes: and of the infinite importance of making ready for that awful period before it arrives. I thought the man, who has labored hard to get comfortable accommodations for himself and his cattle, but is so much occupied by it, that he does not find time to attend his Monthly Meeting, and perhaps others, felt what was said: he parted with us in an affectionate and serious manner. In the afternoon, we got to a Friend's, at Pickering, where we were kindly received and entertained.

19th. We attended their first-day meeting, in which the life and power of religion felt to me to be low. The Lord enabled me to search into the condition of things among them; to show the stumbling effect which those have, who are not producing the fruits of religion in their lives, and how they are looked on by honest people, who do not make such high profession. Also the danger of forsaking silent waiting on the Lord, and running into the expression of words, to gratify a restless disposition, was spoken to, as being comparable to Saul, who without Divine authority, made an offering in the absence of the prophet Samuel, lest the people should be scattered; but whom the prophet told he had done foolishly. The true preparation and qualification for the ministry were alluded to; and the suffering remnant among them were encouraged to abide at the Lord's feet, and to endure the baptisms which He administers; that so they may grow in grace, and in the saving knowledge of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I felt constrained to bow in supplication for the few who are striving to keep the faith, and to bear, though in fear and in meekness, a faithful testimony for the Truth, and that those who are holding back, might be stirred up to more zeal and devotion, and be brought forward in their ranks and service in the church. Though I was favored with holy help, yet I came away in poverty, and some discouragement, on account of the state of the members. We were afterwards told of some things which confirmed my feelings.

Dined with a Friend, at whose house we had the company of several others. In the morning, a Friend kindly offered to convey us in his sleigh to Haldemond, fifty miles. The thermometer stood at seventeen degrees above zero. We covered up in buffalo robes, and though the weather was cloudy, and the wind rather in our faces, we travelled comfortably in an open sleigh, and reached J. S.'s before night, who took us in very heartily. A cheerful reception after traveling an obscure road, through a strange country, is grateful to weary travelers, and should be thankfully accepted.

21st. The Friend who brought us here returned to Pickering, and J. S. took us over to the house of a Friend, near Haldemond meeting-house, eight miles; and also agreed to convey us to Cold Creek, where, he said, we would find Friends to take us to Ameliasburg. Our far separation from home at this wintry season, the almost constant cloudy weather, with the falls of snow, have a depressing effect; and the great distance between the meetings, makes our getting on tedious. It is especially trying, when we are placed in the care of those of little religious experience, or who are not under the sanctifying power of Grace, and cannot sympathize with and help us, in bearing the burdens that attend these visits to the churches. May the Lord, in tender compassion, regard and visit his people, arouse some from their supineness; renew the confidence of the upright hearted in Him, and show unto us, by raising up servants and handmaidens, that He will not cast us off, and take his name from our religious Society.

I felt myself in a low state, and did not know how the meeting, which had been appointed here, would be got through. But after sitting down, the language passed through my mind, “The same Lord over all, is rich unto all that call upon Him.” Again, “Call upon me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me;” and faith sprang a little in my heart that He would not forsake, but in his time, change the dispensation. The company was small, and I was enabled to minister to them, so as to bring some under serious feelings. They were affectionate in taking leave of us at the close.

22nd. J. S. came to us quite early in the morning, and we rode twelve miles to a Friend's house, and refreshed ourselves and horses. Cleanliness and godliness are very properly associated, and have a happy influence on the feelings. They give zest to simple fare, and open the springs of friendship and union between those who before have had no acquaintance. These Friends are much secluded from our religious Society; but they came to the meeting at Cold Creek. On getting to W. V.'s, arrangements were made to spread notice of a meeting next morning. He and his family were from Ireland; and appeared to have mingled with cultivated society; being intelligent and well-informed of the principles and order of Friends. We do not rely on learning, as an essential qualification for religious service, but association with those of cultivated, religious minds, is very pleasant and profitable.

23rd. Went to the meeting; in which were many persons of consistent appearance, and, I have no doubt, honest in their love to the cause of Christ. The blessedness of living and walking in the Truth, and being faithful to its requirings, coming before me, I was strengthened to encourage the sincere-hearted, and to plead with the earthly-minded, to yield to the convictions of Divine grace, that thereby they may be brought into the love and service of their Heavenly Father. After a short, tendering opportunity with our kind friends, we set out in his sleigh, between three and four o'clock, and rode through a rough, hilly country, to the head of the bay of Quinti, and down along the lake shore, through a flat plain; over which the wind swept with chilling force; and after a ride of twenty-five miles, got to a Friend's house about eight o'clock.

24th. The weather this morning proved to be rainy, and looked cheerless; but notice having been spread, the members of Ameliasburg, generally assembled; and through the goodness of the blessed Head of the church, we had a favored meeting. His solemnizing presence spread over us, and the gospel was preached, and the states of some reached. It was a relieving time, and encouraged me to hold on, in endeavoring to complete the service of this visit.

We went to J. C.'s to lodge, which we found a comfortable resting place. Marrying contrary to the discipline is so common in Canada, even with some from whom a different example should be expected, that the testimony against the practice, cannot be said to be maintained. Some Friends are so weak, that they seem to approve, rather than disapprove, of this violation of our wholesome discipline; on the ground, as they say, that instead of losing a member, the Society mostly gains one. But in the first place, it lays waste the qualification of the offender to support the discipline, in other cases, if he is retained in membership, by “offering a paper,” as it is termed. And when the discipline is loosely administered, weakness overspreads, in relation to an upright and impartial course in other respects.

Secondly, if the party who had never been a member is received, for the sake of accommodation, or without real convincement of our principles and testimonies, weakness and blindness may be, in like manner, introduced through this channel; and thus meetings for discipline, become formal, lifeless appendages to the Society.

25th. In the afternoon we rode to J. B.'s, where we lodged; and in the following morning, being first-day, (26th,) were called for by J. C, who took us to West Lake Meeting; which was large, and the forepart of it disturbed by persons coming late, and moving about in the house. My companion requested the boys in the gallery to keep still in one place, and not be walking about, disturbing the meeting; which had a good effect above and below stairs. I felt desirous of keeping my place, as the Master should appoint, and the way not opening to communicate anything, the meeting closed, to the surprise of many.

We rode five miles to Pictou, and dined with a well-educated family. The plain appearance and correct deportment of their children were cheering; and before we left the table, I felt a word of encouragement to arise, for them and their parents.

Notice having been sent to Adolphustown, for a meeting on second-day, we crossed the bay of Quinti, on the ice, and lodged at W. C.'s, whose dwelling is situated a short distance from the water; a beautiful site. These aged Friends came from the United States, into Canada, about fifty-eight years ago. They used a boat on the different streams in the route, which they had conveyed in wagons, from stream to stream; and when they reached Oswego River, they descended it into Lake Ontario; and went round to the outlet of the lake, into the bay of Quinti. They travelled as the weather permitted; landing on some part of the shore suitable for passing the night; until they reached their stopping-place in Canada. Their account of the difficulties they met with, and their progress in making a settlement, was interesting. Both of them, being now over fourscore years of age, still retain a good share of mental strength; though the husband is not able to pronounce his words perfectly, owing to a paralytic affection. They were among the first Friends who held a meeting in Canada; and Adolphus was the first established meeting; its decisions as a Monthly Meeting, being, as they informed us, subject to revision and confirmation by a Monthly Meeting at Stanford.

27th. Attended the meeting at Adolphustown; and labored to strengthen the faith of those who were often tried; and to set forth the importance of a change of heart in the unregenerate. The Master mercifully condescended to help us. Returned to West Lake in the evening.

28th. At the Half-years Meeting of Ministers and Elders—a low time to me; yet I did not feel easy, without endeavoring to hold up the great responsibility of the stations they occupied; the indispensable necessity of enforcing the doctrines of Christ, by example, in all our interaction among men; that the source of all true gospel ministry is the Great Head of the church; who by his Spirit, opens to the minds of his servants, what He ordains them to communicate to the people; and that the same Spirit also gives a true discerning to elders; by which they may rightly distinguish between that which comes from the true Spring, and the deceptive workings of the natural reason and the imagination. The necessity of the faithful discharge of their duties, in laying a hand upon spurious offerings, was pressed upon them. The practice which generally prevails, of sending for ministers to attend burials, as if the dead could not be interred in a christian manner, without preaching, was brought into view, and Friends were cautioned against encouraging it, by going to places out of their own neighborhood, for such purpose, unless under a sense of religious duty.

On the 29th, the Meeting for Discipline was held; in the forepart of which, many spoke. I felt not a little grieved with a sense of the lack of sound and faithful elders, and a right feeling of the order which belongs to the church of Christ; in which the servants and ministers know how to keep their places, under the direction of the great Lawgiver. After a time, I believed it right to bear testimony to the necessity of enduring suffering, in order that we may reign with Christ; that being baptized into death, we may know what it is to be raised up, by Him, who is the resurrection and the life; and to encourage a remnant who were in suffering, to be faithful to their Lord and Master. One of the ancient martyrs said, though she could not say much for Christ, she could suffer for Him. It is through baptism, we are prepared to receive gifts, and to be put into the stations which the Great Head designs us for, in his church; and without this experience, none can take part or lot in the work of the Lord. If they attempt to be active, in their own will and wisdom, they minister death instead of life; wound themselves, bring distress over the living members, and confusion into the church. The true servants of Christ, who know how to keep their ranks in righteousness, have the sentence of death in themselves, not to trust in themselves, but in God, who raises the dead. These in their services, are a savor of life unto life, and of death unto them that are dead. The Master helped me to discharge myself honestly, and Truth came over some restless spirits. The young people were invited to come under the refining hand of the Baptizer of his people, that by his cleansing power, they may be prepared for usefulness in his church. A Friend returned thanks for the continued goodness and condescension of the Lord, in manifesting Himself for our help, and the meeting proceeded to the business.

Some things which were cause of uneasiness, were brought before Friends; particularly the neglect of frequently reading the Holy Scriptures; both apart from their families, and also to them, at proper seasons. Many going out of the Society in marriage, and Monthly Meetings conniving at it; such disorderly persons being kept from attending their meetings for business, but a short time, and then undertaking to sit in judgment on other violations of the discipline. These in their turn, are prepared to connive at the wrong doings of others, and thus contribute to lay waste the order, the discipline and the authority which were conferred by the Head of the church for its health and growth. Friends were also cautioned against the practice of attending meetings held by the separatists, by which the principles of young and old, may be subverted, and the advantages lost, which we ought to derive from being a people, devoted to the Lord and his truth.

On fifth-day was held their usual public meeting for Divine worship. I felt no ability for any public service. In the afternoon we rode fifteen miles to A. E.'s, widow of the late T. E.; whom we heard spoken of as a sound minister, belonging to Adolphustown Meeting. We found her house an agreeable lodging and resting-place, where travelers are kindly entertained. Next day, the 31st of First month, went to Camden, thirty-two miles, situated in a newly-settled country. The weather was very cold; and when about half way on our journey, we called at the house of a kind person, warmed ourselves, and got some dinner; and towards evening, reached our lodging-place; which was warmed with a large stove in the room where we slept, and one in the adjoining apartment, as well as a fire in the chimney; all which were necessary to make us comfortable.

Second month 1st. This morning we found the thermometer at twenty degrees below zero; the atmosphere clear and calm. In new settlements, where the benefits of religious education and habits are not always discoverable, there is reason to fear that that circumspection, which true religion requires, is not attained, as it ought to be, among some. Population being thin, it is natural for persons to seek such society as is within their reach; and where there is a lack of christian watchfulness, improper associations may be indulged, obstructing the elevation of the standard of truth and righteousness. In the meeting which we held here with the Friends and their neighbors, I was exercised on the danger of mingling with persons of uncertain principles and evil habits, who have little or no reverence for religion and I warned them against allowing their children to associate with such; lest they should be poisoned in principle, and spoiled in their manners and conduct, other subjects, as they were brought before me, were spoken to. Afterwards, a Friend said, if they had told me beforehand their situation, it could not have been more fully described; which is another proof that the spring of all true gospel ministry, is in Him who has the key of David: to whom all the honor and praise belong.

We rode back in the evening to A. E.'s, for the purpose of being at West Lake on first-day, not feeling clear of that place. The ride was cold, and the latter part dangerous, on account of the slippery, iced surface of the Bay road; where we had fears of gliding off, in the dark, and were glad to get into our warm lodgings.

First-day morning, the 2nd, the thermometer was ten degrees below zero; and having fifteen miles to ride, we rose and started early; the air was pinching cold. Had a laborious time at meeting, with some whose spiritual faculties seemed blunted, so that they have little qualification to engage in inward, spiritual worship, and little energy to maintain our religious testimonies.

Called and dined at the boarding school, and had a word of exhortation to the teachers and the scholars. Rode back to A. E.'s, rather weary, and after supper, had a religious opportunity with the family.

3rd. Rode twenty-six miles to J. F.'s, near Kingston, and had a meeting at their meeting-house, about five miles distant, with Friends and others. For a time, I felt afraid that the Lord had deserted me, which brought me low; but before the close, I hope He opened some things for the instruction of the people. I returned to our lodgings in a humbled state of mind; probably in part to prepare me for the trials which succeeded.

4th. As we came from meeting it snowed, and so continued through the night; and this morning the weather was stormy; presenting a very dreary, discouraging aspect; but notwithstanding, we set out and rode forty-six miles, through a severe snow storm, to a Friend's house, five miles short of the meetinghouse at Leeds; and glad we were to get under a warm shelter out of such inclement weather. Here we found a large family of children, and the Friends in slender circumstances; which caused us to feel much for them, and for their children. Such have many hardships to encounter; and their time being almost wholly occupied in providing necessary food and clothing, leaves but little opportunity to give direct attention to the habits and mental improvement of their offspring. Yet such is the great importance of right principles being impressed on their tender minds, and adopted, they should do what they can, to bring up the children not only in industry and cleanliness, but instructing them in useful branches of learning; in frequently reading the Holy Scriptures; and, above all, to turn their hearts to the teachings of the Holy Spirit, that they may be brought to live in the fear of their great Creator. By this godly care, enforced by example, the minds of the children would be stored with knowledge, that would raise them above the practice of low jesting, and trifling conversation on subjects or occurrences of a frivolous character; and which tend to degrade the mind. How responsible is the standing of those who are engaged in instructing others in the work of religion. While advocating the power of Divine Grace, how ought they to show its efficacy in themselves, and in a proper concern and care for their offspring. Where practice does not enforce precept, there may be reason to fear that, persons have mistaken their sphere in the church, and are carried away, by creaturely activity, abroad, as a substitute for the faithful discharge of domestic duties. The profession of Divine guidance is brought into disrepute, by the neglect of our own families, manifested by uncultivated minds and irreligious manners; however zealous we may appear for the welfare of others and their children. Such may find it much easier to counsel others how they ought to live, than to restrain and rightly tutor the lambs committed to their care. There are persons in low circumstances, who, by their industry and prudent management, bring up their children in habits of sobriety and proper labor, and also get for them suitable school learning; but it is generally those who stay much at home, minding these important duties; and thus are a blessing to their families; and their children, as they grow up, are often a blessing to such parents.

5th. Though the storm continued, and much snow fell through the night, we believed it right to endeavor to get to the meeting; but little did we know of the difficulties in our way. We soon found ourselves in a depth of snow, through which the horses could not draw the sleigh more than a rod or two, without stopping to get breath. After proceeding about a mile, with much difficulty, we desired our guide, who was on horseback, to go to a Friend's house, and get him to come out with a yoke of oxen, to break the road before us. The Friend followed his oxen, often above his knees in the snow, in their track, continually urging them forward. We dragged after them at a slow, laborious pace, about a mile, when he thought it impracticable to go further, and advised us to return to the house we left in the morning. To this we were decidedly opposed, as the house we wished to reach was but one and a half mile distant. We stopped at a house near the roadside, and though discouraged, we prevailed on the man to get out his oxen to aid us; but one of them proved so weak, he was unable to push through the snow, even without anything to draw after them. He had neither accommodations for us, nor stabling for horses; and, of course, it was necessary to make attempts to get on. The man, without his oxen, accompanied us, assisting the Friend to drive his oxen; whom we occasionally relieved by taking him on our sleigh. Several kind persons, seeing our situation, turned out, and assisted breaking the road, by trampling down the snow, sometimes up to the waist, until we reached another farm-house.

Here they kindly yoked up two pair of oxen, and attached them to a sled; and another person turned out on horseback, so that we soon had the road so open, that we got to Harvey Derbyshire's; four miles from our starting place in the morning. It was now after twelve o'clock; we having been about four and a half hours coming four miles; and truly glad we were to find ourselves within reach of so comfortable a shelter for ourselves and horses. I had never experienced such feelings, from the apprehension of the consequences, should we be left in fields of snow, by our horses getting down and giving out; the harness breaking, and no houses within reach. But we had cause for thankfulness, that we were released from such dangers and sensations, and hospitably provided for. The storm continued, and I felt much concerned about the Friend who had between two and three miles to travel back to his home; lest he should be overpowered by the depth of the snow: he, however, got back safely. The snow was so banked up about the house, that they were fearful the cattle would get amidst buried in it; and the Friend and his boy were up in the night, to ascertain their condition.

Next day I had a chill, and was obliged to go to bed; as it subsided, fever came on, which went off towards night, with profuse perspiration; and I hoped it would terminate the disease.

7th. The road being pretty well broken, we went to P. W.'s, near the meeting-house; and the next day I had a return of chill and fever. The disease constantly prostrating me, the severity of the climate, and the great distance from home, made my situation feel serious; which was increased by the state of the roads; and I have seldom passed through a greater trial of faith. A Friend rode eight miles to the residence of a physician, but he had gone to Brockville. Of course, he did not find him; but P. W. going out about a mile in the opposite direction, to attend to some business, met him and brought him to see me. Having quinine with him, he prepared me a mixture, and giving me directions how to take it, expressed the belief that the disease would not continue long; which was encouraging. The fever went off as before, and I took the medicine faithfully.

9th. This morning the thermometer was twenty-two degrees below zero, at eight a.m. Though the doctor had advised me not to go to meeting, yet as it was first-day, and I was desirous to do the work that might be required, so as to be prepared, when able, to take my departure, I wrapped up well and went. A large company collected, towards whom I had some service, but being weak, and the house rather warm, I was not able to stand long. When the time to close came, I requested Friends to remain together, while others withdrew; and after a pause, the way opened to address them on the preparation, call and qualification for the ministry of the gospel, and the duties of elders; also on the danger of mistaking our calling; and hence the necessity of lowly watchfulness before the Lord, and the spirit of discernment in those, whose place it is to judge; that they may be qualified to counsel those who may speak merely to answer the cravings of the people for words, for fear they will be scattered.

The danger of setting up a man-made ministry, out of which the Society was originally gathered, was opened; that thereby the testimony would be laid waste, which the Lord gave us to bear, to the spiritual character of Divine worship, in silent, reverent waiting upon Him. When persons mistake their calling, and elders do not discharge their duty faithfully, in silencing such intruders, they bring distress upon the living members, and often make a party to support them; which introduces difficulty into a meeting. In transacting the affairs of the church, they were exhorted to retire to the gift of God in themselves, as in their silent approaches in Divine worship; that they may be made acquainted with their respective duties and services, and enabled to perform them; and when they have delivered what was impressed on their minds to say, to leave it before their brethren and sisters, without urging it, and ruling over them. Christ is given to be Head over all things, to his body the church. These things were laid before them in love, with a sincere desire they might be found laboring together for the faith of the gospel.

I felt very feeble on returning to my lodgings, and being able to take but little nourishment, I was depressed with the apprehension, that for lack of suitable aliment, I should sink so low as not soon to be able to travel. Home, and my dear connections were far distant, and such a great body of snow lying on the ground, and it being probable still more would fall before long, my faith seemed almost ready to fail; but looking up to my Heavenly Father, I was enabled to pray to Him, that He would not permit anything to fall upon me, that I could not bear, lest the spirit which He had made, should fail before Him. I was oppressed in body and mind, and at the usual hour, retired to rest, and after some conflict with the reported difficulties of crossing the St. Lawrence, finally got asleep; and in the morning, rose somewhat refreshed. As I sat alone in my lodging-room, an intimation was given me, that my sufferings in that place, were at an end; and then I knew that I should not be much longer kept there. The weather proved more moderate, and though it was the usual day for the chill, it did not return, and we concluded, contrary to the physician's advice, to set out for Le Ray Quarter at noon. By that time the road was well broken to Brockville, on the river, and there was a plain track over it, so that our fears, on this account, soon vanished. We passed over safely, and put up for the night at a tavern, about a mile from the landing; with thankful hearts that we were once more in our own country, and progressing to the remaining work, which would bring us, comparatively, in the neighborhood of home. Lodged comfortably, and found my appetite improved by fresh air and change of diet, and my strength increased. No one who has not passed through similar feelings, can realize the agreeable change I experienced.

11th. Third-day. We rode seventeen miles, principally through a romantic country, called the Rossie Hills; dined, and in the afternoon went eighteen miles further to the residence of E. T., near New Philadelphia, where we were kindly received and entertained.

12th. Snow again falling very fast, after rain, rendered it doubtful that many would attend the usual meeting, held today; though some notice of our wish to see Friends had been spread. I went to it in weakness and fear, after such reduction in body and mind; not knowing whether I should be owned and helped by Him, without whom we can do nothing. After a time of silent, inward waiting, I was strengthened to stand up, and found ability to search out some, who were concealing themselves under a plain outside, but greatly needed the inside to be made clean. I was thankful for Divine help in discharging my duty to them, and in strengthening the honest hearted present.

In the afternoon, we rode to J. and L. C.'s, not far from Le Rayville, where we found a true resting place. The concerns and interests of our religious Society, were uppermost with these Friends, and after part of the evening had been spent in instructive converse, we fell into silence, and a word of consolation and encouragement was furnished for them and their daughters.

13th. Attended their regular meeting, in which I was engaged to labor, I hope, in the authority of Truth. Parting with these dear Friends seemed hard on both sides, feeling one another in the best fellowship. So few Friends visiting them from a distance, they expressed their reluctance at our staying so short a time; but in order to get to Lowville, and hold a meeting next morning, it was necessary to ride fifteen miles this evening; which we did, and lodged at a tavern. The weather was cold; the mercury being several degrees below zero. I thought I never before saw the moisture from the horses, freeze on their bodies, as it did almost immediately after setting out, while the sun shone on them.

14th. Word having been taken over night, by a Friend, for a meeting, we rose early, and without waiting for breakfast, which was quite indiscreet, considering the severity of the weather, we rode about ten miles to J. S.'s. A fine hail commenced falling before meeting time. The company was small, and in sitting with them, it appeared to me, weakness had spread over the heads of the tribes; and the injunction, “Be watchful and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die; for I have not found your works perfect before God,” was revived and applied. The spirit of prayer was granted, to petition for help from the sanctuary; that those who were negligent and indifferent, and had lost ground, might be forgiven and brought to renew their covenant, and come up in greater faithfulness; also, for the young people, who have so few to lead them in the right way; that the Lord would touch their hearts with the finger of his love, enamor them with the beauty of holiness, and the excellency of his blessed Truth. The hearts of some were affected. We went to T. T.'s and lodged.

15th. In coming out this morning to the main road, we found the track so filled with drifted hail, that, in some places, the horses sunk in it nearly to their bodies, and the sleigh was with difficulty prevented from overturning. We drove south about fifteen miles, dined and fed our horses at an inn, and towards evening, reached J. P.'s at Lee. Those who have never travelled in a country, where the snow is above the tops of the fences, and there is but one track, are not aware of the difficulty, and sometimes danger, in turning out of it, to pass vehicles we meet. The off horse plunges deep into the snow, from which it requires a great effort to recover the road, endangering the harness or getting entangled with the passing sleigh.

16th. First-day morning. Snow falling fast, presenting a discouraging prospect, both on account of the size of the meeting and the difficulties of traveling. The number who came was greater than I expected; but, though I endeavored to do what appeared to be required, it was not a very animating time; yet I hoped that serious impressions were made on some.

After dinner, we parted with our companion, B. Bowerman, who had been with us through Canada, and rode to Z. H.'s; being obliged to ride eleven miles round, instead of six miles across the hills, owing to the fall of snow this morning. We passed an agreeable evening in conversation with this Friend, who appeared to be firm in the doctrine of the gospel as held by our Society.

The very general departure of the young people from plainness of dress, throughout this Quarterly Meeting, gives ground to apprehend that the Society in many places, will decline, if not run out. To the indulgence of parents and others, it is to be much attributed; who, instead of restraining the children, gratify their fondness for dress. What abundant cause is there for mourning; as it is evidence of the degeneracy overspreading many parts of this, as well as other Yearly Meetings.

17th. We had an appointed meeting at Werkenville, composed of members and other professors. It was a good meeting, in which was set forth the peculiar glory and excellency of the gospel dispensation; which brings a knowledge of the Divine will home to every man, with strength to do it; and enables him to worship God in spirit and in truth, without human aid, or the intervention of words. A solemnity was over us. Friends were refreshed, and I felt thankful for the Lord's goodness in qualifying for his work; without which we can do nothing. We rode six miles to an elderly Friend's house; dined, and after a religious opportunity with a member, who was absent when we were at the meeting to which she belongs, we rode nearly eight miles to C. P.'s, in Westmoreland. Here we met with some hopeful young people, and found it a pleasant lodging place for weary pilgrims.

18th. Held a meeting here; in which was emphatically opened and pressed, the danger of being swallowed up in business; by which the work of salvation would be almost or entirely, neglected. I expressed the hope which I felt, that young persons present were designed by the Lord, to be prepared and made use of, in building up the waste places, and restoring the former desolations among us. These were pleaded with to yield to the convictions and drawings of his Spirit, that they might be redeemed from the love of the world, and know Him to fit them for his service in the church. It was a tendering time with some, which was renewed at our lodgings, in a religious opportunity with a number of young persons, before we set out for New Hartford; some of whom, I believed, if they are faithful, will be qualified to support the ark of the testimonies. It was pleasant to see marks of care and religious concern in some here, to keep to simplicity, and to bring up their children rightly. Oh how are the reins of government thrown upon the necks of children, and they encouraged to copy the corrupting fashions, and manners of the people around them, with whom they too freely mingle; much to their hurt.

Rode in the afternoon to a Friend's house, near New Hartford meeting-house; but found him so unwell that we could not be accommodated. We went to the residence of another, and were told that he also was indisposed, but no other being convenient they consented to take us in. We went to the meeting-house, where we found a few Friends kindling a fire. A little company gradually collected, with whom we had a tender opportunity, to the comfort of the sincere ones, who are striving to keep up their little meeting at this place. Several expressed their satisfaction. Plainness of speech was used towards a different class; who are deficient in the life of religion. After dinner rode to Madison, about twenty-four miles, and put up with a Friend, in the village of Hamilton.

20th. Attended their regular meeting, which was small, and in which I labored according to the ability afforded. In the afternoon went to Brookfield; our guide gave notice to the families, as we rode along, of the appointment of a meeting, to be held the next day; which to me, was a trying time; the evidence of declension from primitive zeal, and the neglect of the great work of salvation, were affecting to me.

In the afternoon we had a tedious ride of twenty miles, some part of it difficult from snow banks, which began to give way under the horses, so as to make them plunge a good deal in passing over the drifts. We found H. B.'s, which we reached about seven o'clock, an agreeable resting place, after such a ride.

22nd. We had a meeting at Burlington; which was much larger than we expected, from the short notice, and it being seventh-day. I was glad to see so many; it seemed an indication of life, and a desire to obtain good. They were encouraged to individual faithfulness, from the example of Nehemiah, who, notwithstanding, his besetments, effected much by perseverance; through the Divine blessing. I hoped it was a good meeting; there being, as I thought, sincerely concerned ones, who would rejoice in the prosperity of Zion. Under a sense of the protecting power and goodness of our Heavenly Father, extended to us in this journey, I was led to bow before Him, and acknowledge his mercy in visiting us in the morning of life, and keeping us to this hour; and implored his continued preservation, through the remaining snares and temptations with which a cruel enemy might assail us; in order to destroy that which He had done in us and for us.

In a view of the trials awaiting us, from the unsettled state of our religious Society, there is great need of watchfulness and fervent prayer to our Heavenly Father, for his delivering arm, that it may be round about his afflicted children and servants.

After dinner we proceeded to H. B.'s, at Oneonta, eighteen miles; which was laborious traveling, the road being bare of snow nearly one-half the distance, from the present mildness of the weather. Here we felt like coming to the close of our visit, this being the starting point where we set out, for the meetings in this part of New York Yearly Meeting. We were very cordially received by his wife, Henry being from home; and acknowledgments of the Lord's mercy, secretly rose in my heart, He having thus brought us safely through this trying and laborious journey.

23rd. Attended the first-day meeting at Butternuts; in which I felt a strong interest in some of the young men; to whom the language of persuasion was offered, to yield to the convictions of the Holy Spirit, which would change their hearts and their actions, and give them true peace; in place of a restless, unhappy condition, which often attends disobedience of the Divine law. We must leave our labors with the Lord.

We were detained, waiting for the stage, until third-day afternoon; and in the meantime, sold our carriage and horses; which was a great relief, for we should probably have found it difficult, to drive through the mountains, on account of snow.

We were taken to Oneonta; from which the stage started at twelve o'clock in the night; we got some sleep, but setting out in an open wagon, was rather chilling; but there was no alternative.

We passed over a rough road, but reached Catskill, on the North River, about eight o'clock in the evening, somewhat fatigued; the distance being seventy-three miles. Here we were detained waiting for a steamboat, until after dark, next evening. When on board, we were well pleased to find ourselves in such an expeditious mode of conveyance homeward. The crowd in the boat, the darkness of the night, and the driving of the vessel on large cakes of floating ice, which made her tremble from stem to stern, together with some noisy passengers, made the voyage unpleasant. We landed in New York a little after five in the morning, and walked to our friend John Wood's; whom we found in a poor state of health, though at that time better than he had been. He was a man of a christian spirit; and from the opportunity I had of observing him, appeared to be ready to forgive his enemies, bearing their reproaches, in a pleasant, cheerful spirit. This was the last opportunity I had of seeing him, and he was then in this disposition, while he conversed on some of his trials. He died in a few weeks after, firm in the faith that he had borne a righteous testimony to the Truth; and having a well-grounded hope of entering into everlasting rest and peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ; whose servant he was, and was not ashamed to confess his Divine Master openly before men. He was a lover of the Truth, and of the friends of Truth, and an able minister of the gospel of life and salvation.

We crossed the North River to Jersey City, and took the car for Philadelphia, at nine o'clock; and in about six hours were restored, in safety and peace, to our beloved families and friends.

My heart was clothed with gratitude and thanksgiving to our gracious Caretaker, for his unmerited mercy and goodness in preserving us; furnishing renewed strength, from time to time, to do his will, and bringing me back with the reward of sweet peace; and to find the like peace and preservation had been dispensed to my dear wife and children during my absence.

I endeavored throughout the visit to maintain a state of watchfulless, that nothing might occur to mar the work; and after my return, I was favored with much peace and serenity; and in looking over the journey, nothing appeared that created uneasiness, or caused feelings of regret; which I esteemed a mercy.

Chapter XVIII

1845—1846

Lack of the Life of Religion in the Society—Visit to Exeter and Maiden Creek Meetings—Visits to different Meetings within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Ann Jones of Stockport, England—Visit to Stanford Quarterly Meeting, New York, and its Branches.

1845, Tenth month 8th. After a season of long silence, my mind was invested, at our own meeting, with the sense that what is lacking, is the life of religion; accompanied with a renewed evidence, that He who is the resurrection and the life, is graciously near to manifest Himself in that character. The duties which are of an outward nature are to be performed; but they may be fulfilled, and the power of godliness denied. Many appeared to me in that situation; plain in the exterior, regular in coming to meeting, and desirous of hearing ministry; but are destitute of that travail of soul and fervency in seeking after Christ, which He would reward with the cheering beams of his countenance, and the bread which nourishes up the soul to everlasting life, and renews our love and courage to follow Him, and to wait for Him. Seldom have I felt my love to the Lord Jesus stronger than I did this day. My spirit humbly bowed before Him, and returned thanks, that were not uttered, for his mercy in raising me up as from the dead, to testify of his truth and his goodness, and to incite others to come and snbmit themselves to Him.

9th. Went to West-town to attend the semi-annual meeting of the committee there. We found the school in rather a prosperous condition as regards the progress of the pupils in their studies. I rarely visit this institution without feelings of peaceful delight arising from the persuasion, that the unslumbering Shepherd of the sheep watches over the little flock there, and will reward the sincere and faithful efforts of the caretakers and teachers to guard and instruct the dear children. Meeting with several beloved Friends on the appointment was animating; and I hope productive of good.

28th. For days past poverty of spirit, and being brought low, have been my portion. My only hope has been in the compassion and loving kindness of the Lord, my helper and keeper, and the belief that He would not forsake me. Today I went to Frankford Monthly Meeting; and after struggling with feelings of great discouragement, I yielded to apprehended duty; and the Lord, in mercy, opened the spring of the ministry, and gave me tongue and utterance, to my own consolation, and the comfort of his people. I was thankful for this token of his goodness, and proof that He had not forsaken me.

29th. Our Monthly Meeting, held today, was a solid opportunity; both that for worship and for the administration of the discipline. There was an unusual solemnity over the latter, in which, I believe, not a few were under a sincere travail of spirit, that we might be favored with the Master's presence, and qualified to act in his authority. It is this alone that strengthens to advance the cause of Truth, and to edify the body on the true foundation. Samuel Bettle, Sr., was with us, and expressed his satisfaction in being united with his brethren in religious exercise. We agreed to the proposition of the Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, to open meetings for worship on first-day evening, through the winter.

Eleventh month 2nd. Our evening meeting was opened, which, considering the wetness of the weather, was large. It was thought to be a good beginning.

5th. The longer I live the more I am convinced, that the gospel cannot be preached but as He who has the key of David re-anoints for the work, and furnishes that which quickens the soul, and raises into dominion the precious life in an assembly.

10th. My beloved wife having had for some time a concern to visit the Friends of Exeter and Maiden Creek Meetings, we took the Pottsville car, and being met at Douglasville, by a Friend, were taken by him to J. B.'s. The weather was very fine, the traveling pleasant, and being cordially received by our dear friends, we passed the afternoon and evening to our mutual satisfaction. On the following morning, J. and his wife set out with us for Maiden Creek.

12th. Called to see our aged friend Mary E. Lee, who was confined with an injury received by a fall. We had a religious opportunity in her chamber, and then went to the meeting. My wife was engaged to strengthen the hands of the exercised few there, and to invite the young people to give themselves up to the Lord and his service. Afterwards it was my place to speak to the states of those who were often brought to see they were, not what the Lord required them to be, and in whom He raised at times desires that they might die the death of the righteous, and their latter end be like his. The character and example of the righteous were often brought before their view, and they saw their own shortcomings; yet refusing to yield to Divine conviction, they remained unchanged in heart, and the day of mercy was passing away. These were fervently pleaded with, to yield to the drawings of Divine love, and they would know the nature of the lion to be put off, and that of the lamb to take its place; old things would be done away, and all things be made new, and all things of God. The opportunity was closed with prayer and thanksgiving. In the afternoon, we rode to E. L.'s, where we parted with our friends J. and M. B.

13th. Attended Exeter Meeting, which was rather larger than usual; in which we were both engaged to labor for the encouragement and growth of the members in the right way. I hoped some Divine quickening was felt in both these meetings. Went to the residence of our aged friend John Lee and wife. He is in an afflicted state of body. It afforded us much satisfaction to find our aged friends so alive to the blessed cause, committed in trust to our religious Society; and they seemed to be refreshed as well as ourselves by the visit.

14th. We were brought to the railroad, and reached our home early in the afternoon.

19th. The Monthly Meeting of the Western District, was held today, which I was drawn to visit. The company was unusually large; and after a time of silent waiting, the stirring of the Lord's power was felt, under which I was gradually enabled to preach the gospel of salvation, through our Lord Jesus Christ; showing that the work of regeneration had its beginning in the heart, through obedience to the manifestations of his Spirit, in little things. Our Savior thanked the Father that He had hid the things of his kingdom from the wise and prudent, and revealed them unto babes. To be brought into this blessed experience, we must become babes in Christ; and the only way to experience the new birth and change of heart unto righteousness, is by faithfulness to the requisitions of the Divine will, made known in us. Many things were brought forth out of the treasury, by Him who alone has the key and command of it; and through Divine mercy and condescension the baptizing and solemnizing power of Christ, went forth over the assembly; to the comfort and strength of the hungry, weary and exercised ones. Oh! that I may be enabled in humility and abasedness of soul to offer the tribute of thanksgiving and praise to Him who has all power in his hand; and to walk before Him with increasing fear and reverence, for all his great condescension and unmerited compassion towards me, a poor creature, and towards his church and people.

26th. This afternoon, my wife and myself went to visit a Friend in the country. There is a union of spirit between those who see eye to eye, and their countenances and company are cheering. Where the Son of Peace abides, a harmonious converse can be maintained between fellow travelers on the heavenly journey. Their experiences and their Divine openings, with which their mutual Lord and Leader has instructed them, are brought forth from the treasury as things which are new and yet old. Such converse is both entertaining, and, at times, very strengthening, and according with the practice of the earliest disciples. Two of them walked from Jerusalem to Emmaus talking as they went, of the things which had just transpired. Jesus joined himself to them, and asked, “What manner of communications are these that you have one to another, as you walk, and are sad?” At a time of singular trial and disappointment, it was natural for them to speak upon that which lay the nearest to their hearts. And so it is now. Disciples of the same Master will commune upon their trials, and the straits and besetments of the church, as well as upon its hopes and encouraging prospects. Paul talked with his contemporary believers, on one occasion, until break of day. In old time, when the proud were called happy, and they that worked wickedness were set up, and they that tempted God were delivered; “Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another; and the Lord hearkened and heard it; and a book of remembrance was written before Him, for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name. And they shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them as a man spares his own son that serves him.” This has been the case with the devoted children of God in various ages since that period; and thereby they have consoled one another; and he that watered, was watered himself.

Twelfth month 4th. Both inwardly and outwardly, clouds and darkness have prevailed much. Faith has been put to the test; but I have endeavored to keep patient, and hope for brighter days. Went to the Arch Street Meeting, and there was a little qualified to unfold the roll written with mourning; and to set forth, that in these dispensations, the Lord teaches man his own impotence, and that all good comes from Him. The stream of the ministry rose a little, to the help of the preacher, and we may hope some others. Came away with a thankful heart that mercy and goodness were not yet clean passed away from such a poor creature.

7th. At our meeting yesterday, the administration of condemnation to those who have been living in sin, was presented, as among the mercies of Him, who wills not the spiritual death and everlasting separation from the heavenly host, of a single soul which He has created. “No chastening for the present seems to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless, afterwards, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to them that are exercised thereby.” And “Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son that He receives.” If we are without chastisement, we are not the true-born sons and daughters of God. I endeavored to persuade some to endure these dispensations, that they might receive the gift of repentance; and be restored into Divine favor. I felt encouraged before going to meeting, with a gentle intimation, which I hoped was from the Divine Fountain; that all our trials will be light in comparison with the reward at the end of the journey; and if they contributed to prepare us for that happy consummation, they should be esteemed as the greatest blessings.

14th. First-day of the week, one of the most inclement we have had this winter; snow and ice and rain to walk through to meeting; the clouds dark, and the air thick and smoky. Our meeting was larger than we anticipated: silent in the morning; in the afternoon, a little was expressed, on the necessity of meeting and waiting, not only in a belief of the doctrine, that Christ is in the midst of those who gather in his name, but in feeling after Him, that we may be sensible of the quickening power of his presence; qualifying us to ask the Father, in his name, for what we have need of. The evening assembly was very small; and before the hour was fully come, the gaslights nearly all suddenly disappeared, owing to the meter becoming covered with water from rain and melting snow. The little company, except a few who went for lamps and candles, kept steady to their places; the house was again sufficiently lighted, and it was thought by many to be a good meeting. I hope that the Lord was our helper, and that some strength and comfort were imparted to weary souls, longing for deliverance from sin.

21st. We had a comfortable and solemn meeting this morning; in which the paramount importance of keeping an eye to the eternal recompense of reward; and, like Moses, choosing to suffer affliction with the people of God, rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; esteeming the reproaches of Christ greater riches than all the treasures of Egypt, was held forth to the meeting. In the evening, we had a peculiarly solemn time; my dear wife being clearly opened on the importance of the ministry, and the indispensable need of abasedness of the creature, in those engaged in the solemn work; and was afterwards engaged in supplication. We have rarely sat under more solid weight and deep silence, than that in which the meeting was closed.

1846, Third month 14th. We have had rather a trying winter, from cold and snow, and the great variableness of the weather. It has been so to me in a spiritual respect. Clouds of discouragement, and fear of being or getting wrong have hung over me, from day to day; in part occasioned by the peculiar state of our religious Society, and doubtless also designed to humble the creature, and to produce a more weighty and watchful state of mind. If I can but be favored with the protection and guidance of the Holy Spirit, so as to walk with acceptance before the Lord, and to show forth the excellency of the religion of Christ, all these afflictions will be of little moment, except so far as they have contributed to this all-important end.

In the Second month, I attended Abington Quarterly Meeting; in which I felt much for the trembling and diffident ones, who love the blessed Truth, and desire to do the Divine will, and yet have many fears. To these there appeared to be a word of comfort, and tender invitation to hold fast that which they had received, and to follow the Master; putting their trust constantly in Him; and a way would be made for them.

Having a desire to be at Bucks Quarterly Meeting, my wife and I took stage for New Hope, on the 25th ult., and got that afternoon to our worthy and honorable friend's, Ruth Ely, whose hospitable residence is a pleasant lodging-place for those who love and serve the Lord Jesus. She gave us a very cordial reception, as a mother in Israel towards her children. As the stage did not leave the city on third-day, we were not at their Meeting of Ministers and Elders. The meeting for business was a favored opportunity, during the part allotted for Divine worship; the mourners being cheered and refreshed by the visit and labors of their friends. Returned to our resting-place, where we had the company of Christopher Healy, a devoted minister of Christ, and one who feels a deep interest in the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel held by Friends, having adopted them from convincement of their truth; and long faithfully advocated them before small and great. We spent the evening to our mutual comfort. Next day we made two visits to some Friends of Solebury; and on seventh-day, got back to the city; the weather cold, and snow falling through the day and that night. The retrospect of the little excursion was peaceful; it being a duty we owe to aged, experienced Friends, to visit, and, as we are enabled, encourage and animate them in the closing days of their earthly pilgrimage.

Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting being held this week, E. Pitfield, my wife and myself went over to it. That for Ministers and Elders, was to us a low, and rather trying meeting. The cruel enemy is at work in every way he can devise, to lay waste the unity, and all capacity for usefulness in the church, and in the world. We endeavored, according to what we apprehended was required, to warn some, and to strengthen the watchful travailer.

The meeting on fifth-day was pretty large, many young and middle-aged Friends being there. My wife and E. Pitfield had acceptable service, while I sat in poverty, expecting to have little to do; but, very unlooked for, the declaration of the prophet Jeremiah, in relation to the Jews forsaking the Fountain of living water, and hewing out cisterns that could hold no water, was brought before me. There was a quickening virtue accompanied, and after some waiting, it appeared proper to rise with it, and to declare that it described the cause of all our difficulties.

I was led to show the process of the work of regeneration, commenced by the in-shining of the light of Christ in man's dark heart; its convictions for sin; and, as yielded to, its making an entire change in him. Nothing could begin and carry on this work, but the Author and Finisher of the saints' faith; and the Lord would not give his glory to any of man's devices. Nothing is fit to receive the water of life, but regenerated souls, sanctified vessels in the Lord's house; and if we changed our glory for that which profits not; hewing out cisterns that can hold no water, desolation would overspread the Society. The language of affectionate entreaty was held out to the young people, to enlist under Christ's banner, and to follow Him in the way of the cross. The work is the Lord's, and He alone can carry it on; before whom we are bound to bow in reverent thankfulness for the least of his mercies, and with prayer and supplication, as the Spirit gives ability, to ask Him for the continuance of his preserving power, and for wisdom and strength to serve Him, in the gospel of his dear Son. I returned to the city, leaving my wife to make some visits she has had on her mind a long time.

Fifth month 7th. This morning I received intelligence of the death of that deep and extraordinarily gifted minister and servant of Christ, Ann Jones, of Stockport, England. She visited this country about the period of the separation, in 1827-8, and was a sharp threshing instrument in the hand of the Lord, against the spirit of infidelity, then making fearful inroads upon many, under the name of Friends, who knew very little of their principles, or of the sanctifying power of Divine Grace, ruling in their hearts. Her controversy was with the leaders and principals, who were working in the dark, to draw away ignorant and unwary members, into the mazes of unbelief, and into contempt for the unyielding advocates of Christ's gospel, and his authority in the church. She was one of the most fearless soldiers in the Lamb's army, and by his wisdom and strength, was often instrumental in discomfiting the enemies of Christ; while she infused courage and firmness into the hearts of the little flock in different places, on whose shoulders rested with weight, the support of the principles and discipline of the Society.

When she informed the Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, that she felt liberated to return home, Wm. Jackson, of West Grove, expressed his unity with her, and said, she had come amongst us in the same power and spirit with which Samuel Fothergill visited this country, whom he had heard in the ministry.

Thus one after another of the Lord's anointed servants are gathered to their everlasting rest in Christ; which is felt to be a great trial in this day of scattering, and of rebellion against the law and the testimony; the number of valiant and unflinching soldiers seeming to be few in every place. But the Lord is strong and mighty, and in his time will give the victory to his tribulated people, who hold fast their integrity to Him; trusting in his mercy and power, and not in their own understanding.

10th. I attended Germantown Meeting. Being first-day, I was pleased to see the number who came; many of them in the prime of life, and younger. I was enabled to plead with some, for greater devotion to the Lord's will; and to show to others that however humble their lot, or of little importance they might feel themselves to be in the world, there were duties for them to fulfill; and if they were faithful, they would be regarded by Him who watches over his people; they would grow from stature to stature, and their example would tend to draw others to the blessed Truth: they would be preachers of righteousness, and qualified to stand as witnesses to the doctrines and testimonies which Friends are called to support. Their afflictions would be sanctified to them, and through their faithfulness, there would be ground to hope, that a seed would be preserved in that place. The compassion of our blessed Savior, as portrayed by the parable of the householder, who went out at different hours of the day and hired men to labor in his vineyard, even to the eleventh hour, was held up to the view of some, who had been wasting their precious time until the day is far spent. When he settled with the laborers, he began at the last and went on to the first, giving each the same reward.

Showing that while we ought not to presume upon Divine mercy, so we ought not to attempt to limit, or to despair of it, when He condescends to place before us, as the handwriting on the wall, our true condition; and to invite us to leave all and enter with Him into the vineyard of the heart and labor. I thought Divine mercy was near, and that some hearts were contrited, under a fresh and living sense of it. I returned home with feelings of peacefulness.

14th. Was at the Arch Street week-day meeting. The meekness and gentleness of Christ, and the patient and unresisting endurance of suffering, of which He set us an example, were much upon my mind. The prophet declared that He will not break the bruised reed. He shall not strive nor cry, neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets; yet He will finally bring forth judgment unto Truth. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so He opened not his mouth. He suffered for our sins, the just for the unjust. It pleased the Father, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the Captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. And the more we are brought to be like Him, the better it will be for us. Whatever is going on around us, it is needful to remember that there is a work for every one to be engaged in within himself. It is here we are to know Christ Jesus to be our Savior, and to give us strength to carry on that work.

This is what is greatly lacking within our own religious Society. Many who take part in its concerns, are greatly involved in the world and its pursuits. “The love of money is the root of all evil; which, while some covet after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows; erred from that faith which is the saints' victory, and of which Christ is the author.

16th. My dear wife feeling drawn to attend the meeting at West Chester, we left home this morning and reached the village about eleven o'clock. The weather was fine on first-day; and a pretty large company collected at the meeting-house.

She had acceptable service among them. We were taken to West-town School towards evening. Vegetation is now in its most luxuriant state; the grass, shrubbery and trees, in the boys' and girls' walks, present a freshness and foliage, which make the premises a delightful scene, and contribute to healthfulness and exhilaration of spirits; of no small advantage in the hours of relaxation from study.

18th. From here we went to Concord, where we attended the Quarterly Meeting, and had some service.

Sixth month 16th. Feeling a gentle pointing to the North Meeting, I went there this morning. My mind was opened on the preciousness and necessity of unity; that unity of the Spirit which our Lord spoke of in his prayer to the Almighty Father, for his disciples; “That they all may be one; as you, Father, are in me and I in you; that they also may be one in us.” This unity subsists among those who are born of the Spirit, the incorruptible Seed and Word of God, which lives and abides forever. I felt very desirous that Friends might keep on the watch, against everything that tends to alienate from one another; not being ready to take up unfavorable apprehensions about each other; but to stand still in the Light, that they may have those things which may grow into a barrier between them, removed; and their hearts more and more sweetened by Divine love. Samuel Bettle, Sr., closed the meeting with supplication.

21st. Being first-day. At our meeting, I was led to extend a renewed call to those who were taking their ease and enjoyment in the comforts of life, and in great danger of forgetting their Heavenly Father, the bountiful Giver of all we have. Some who had set out, with very humble views and desires, in relation to earthly possessions, may let go their exercise when things, through industry, grow lighter, and they are released from the anxiety they once felt about the means of subsistence.

When this takes place, the eye which once saw, may be again blinded, and the lively sense they once had of the importance of the cause of Christ, above everything else, may be gradually blunted; and then when we meet for the solemn act of Divine worship, the things of the world bring a stupor over the meeting, and the great object of coming together is almost altogether frustrated in some. I hoped that through the tender mercy of the Shepherd of Israel, there was a little of his quickening power felt. The warning, and yet confiding language of the apostle was brought into view, “Oh death, where is your sting? Oh grave, where is your victory? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” The awful period will arrive to every one, when, above everything else, it will be of the utmost consequence to be able in truth, and in our own experience, to adopt that language. But only through obedience to the Lord Jesus, can we know this victory, and be enabled to thank God for it.

29th. Our beloved friend Hannah L. Smith, a minister, who, previous to her marriage, was a member of the Southern District Monthly Meeting, died last week and was buried today. Attending the burial, I felt impelled to preach Christ crucified and glorified, and also appearing by his Spirit in the heart. I reminded the company, that the period would arrive to them, when, if they had a right understanding, it would be the most desirable thing to realize the testimony of the beloved disciple, that those who had come out of great tribulation, and washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, should hunger no more, neither thirst any more, neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. “For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne, shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters, and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.” This would be of the greatest importance to us at the day of account, whether rich or poor; and we must all stand before the judgment-seat of Christ, to give an account of the deeds done in the body. Then, all the riches and gratification, the honor and pomp of this world, would be lighter than a feather, in comparison with that exceeding and eternal weight of glory, which would be revealed to the saints in light. I declared that Christ took upon Him the body prepared of the Father, to do his will in, and offered Himself a most holy and satisfactory sacrifice for the sins of the world; that He suffered for our sins, the just for the unjust; that He might bring us to God. But it was only as we opened the door of our hearts and let Him come in; and witnessed Him to sit as a refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap, removing all impurity, washing us in the laver of regeneration, and renewing us by his Holy Spirit, that we could know our garments made white in his precious blood, and experience our past sins to be blotted out; having on the wedding garment, and being accepted in Him, the Beloved. I spake from the necessity laid upon me; my mouth being opened almost before I was aware.

Seventh month 5th. I felt drawn to attend the Western Meeting, which considering the season, was a pretty large meeting. Through Divine condescension, my mind was early brought into a waiting state; and the expression of our dear Lord was presented before me: “Where I am, there shall my servant be also.” This appeared to me applicable to all who serve Him, whatever place they occupy in the church of Christ. “If any man serve me, him will my Father honor.” It is a great favor to be with Christ, whether in suffering or rejoicing; but to experience this, we must serve Him daily, by obeying his will manifested unto us by his Spirit. I was favored to accomplish the service that appeared to be required, with comfort to myself, and I trust to some who were present.

11th. The Monthly Meeting of Upper Evesham occurring on the 11th, my wife and myself went to Medford in the stage. We found the spirits of many of the rightly exercised members depressed with the distressing condition of our Society, and with the fathers and mothers among them being few, to watch over and to strengthen those who love the Truth. We were introduced into sympathy with them, both the older and the middle rank; and through holy help, were enabled to minister to them, in the openings of Divine life. We were refreshed, and rejoiced at the present favor; they that watered being watered themselves.

The 12th, being first-day, we attended the meeting again; some not belonging to Friends coming in. My wife first ministered to them; and after waiting some time in silence, I was led to hold up the necessity of inward, heart-changing religion, and to caution some against supposing that this work was finished, by yielding to the first visitation; and against the disadvantage of talking away the heavenly impressions. After being grafted in the Vine, and become fruit-bearing branches, we require frequent purging, to prepare for bringing forth more fruit. We returned home on the 14th, well satisfied with the visit.

Eighth month 3rd. Today was held our Quarterly Meeting. A religious weight and solemnity were spread over us, and several Friends were engaged in the ministry.

13th. My wife having gone to Woodbury to attend the Quarterly Meeting there, I went down this morning and joined her. It is a small company, but there are some honest, well-concerned Friends, who feel the depressed condition of the church, and mourn over the lack of a greater number of lively laborers in the good cause. My wife and Rachel Thornton appeared in testimony, and I followed them; bringing to view some of the exhortations of Christ to enter into labor for the bread and the water of life, individually. Many are willing to be fed who are not willing to work; they are fond of the honey, but, like the drones in the hive, do not endeavor to gather it. This easy, lethargic disposition, is robbing the Society of strength, and landing those who are overtaken with it, in spiritual death, and alienation from the Lord of life and glory. My wife closed the meeting with solemn supplication, that our Heavenly Father would grant some token of his love and remembrance of his suffering children; and renew and strengthen their faith, which seems at times to be greatly reduced. In the afternoon, we visited our friend Joseph Whitall, who is in such a reduced state of health as not to be able to go to meeting. We returned to our peaceful home next morning.

18th. Was at the North Meeting; in which great weakness was the clothing of my mind, for some time after sitting down with them. But the Lord condescended to my low estate and out of weakness I was enabled, by his strength, to declare his goodness and mercy to them that love and serve Him. The testimony of David was revived, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me your rod and your staff they comfort me.” It was a good day.

19th. Having a gentle draft to the Western Quarterly Meeting, my friend J. S. took me to London Grove. On our way we called at West-town School, took tea, and rode to B. S.'s, where we were kindly received.

20th. Fifth-day morning. The Select Meeting was a small body, having but one man and one woman acknowledged as ministers. There was a word of encouragement for the upright but tried few, among them. Being quite unwell, the humbling hand of the Lord seemed to be upon me, yet patience and strength were granted to bear up. In the meeting, next day, David Cope delivered a testimony to the unchangeable character of the conditions of salvation. That through Grace, man may comply with them, and partake of the blessings of the gospel. If he refuses, the truth will remain the same, and he must take the consequences of his disobedience. The great spread and influence of the spirit and principles of infidelity, and the danger of living in its atmosphere, came before me. Great subtlety and sophistry are used by some of talents, to lay waste the Holy Scriptures, and into a fearful pit of death and darkness they sometimes plunge themselves. But they cannot destroy or change the truth of God; the consequences of their willful unbelief will fall on themselves. Living among such people is dangerous; their example and their dark spirits tend to produce indifference to religion; and some who turn their back upon the Truth, go into the politics and policies of the world; others into the love and pursuit of money; others into the pleasures and gratifications of time and sense. In this way we are surrounded by dangers of various kinds, out of which nothing can preserve us, but obedience to the secret illuminations of the Spirit of Christ; showing us what we are, and what we are to forsake, that we may be made by Him what He would have us to be. As we follow Him, our example will be a constant protest against the unbelief and the lethargy surrounding us; and thus we shall be more likely to put a stop to its progress, than by any arguments we can advance against the principles of the infidel, or the mere man of the world. I thought some renewed ability was given to speak to the states of the people, and solemnity spread over the meeting.

Ninth month 8th. I have passed most of our meetings for months in silence; and not infrequently without much evidence of the stirrings of Divine life, and the mantle of sorrow and mourning has been the covering of my spirit. Last fourth-day it seemed to be my duty to say some close things to those who were laying up treasures for themselves, and making use of the outward blessings of a beneficent Providence, to gratify and exalt themselves; that they might appear grand and be highly thought of by others; instead of looking upon themselves as stewards, and accountable for the right appropriation of their earthly substance. Such were advised to put away their jewels and their ornaments out of sight, and repair to Bethel, to renew their covenants with the Lord. Little relief, however, seemed to follow, but if it is of the Lord, He will reward for faithfulness.

13th. A day of inward conflict and of mourning, on account of the absence of the Beloved of souls. In the afternoon, there was some ability to look towards the Lord's holy temple, with hope that his sustaining power was not withdrawn.

14th. I had thought of Haddonfield Monthly Meeting yesterday, but with no expectation of going to it; yet this morning, on rising, it came before me with some quickening effect; and after breakfasting, feeling afraid to put from me what seemed to be a pointing to that meeting, I crossed the river, and took stage for the place, and got there while Friends were convening.

After a season of inward waitings upon the Lord, I was drawn forth to speak of the trial of faith, which is more precious than gold, that perishes, though it be tried in the fire; that we may experience everything opposed to heavenly purity removed, and after the refinement for the time is passed through, witness the lifting up of the light of the Glorious Countenance upon us. Encouragement was communicated to exercised members among them, to put their trust in Him, in whom there is everlasting strength, and follow Him faithfully.

Others were warned against engaging in any cause under a religious profession which is not the Lord's cause; and those who, at times, are brought under conviction by the internal discoveries of the Light of Christ, were affectionately and fervently solicited to give up to the heavenly vision, which is not at their command. These days of the Son of Man, in which by his grace, He brings salvation to us, and calls on us to deny ungodliness and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, and righteously, and godly in the world, the Father has reserved in his own hand. I felt constrained to bow the knee, and to commemorate the Lord's goodness, in visiting and bringing us out of darkness into his light, and to implore the continued extension of his protecting power to the end of our earthly pilgrimage; that through the blood of Christ, and the sanctification of the Spirit, we might, in the end, be permitted to enter the glorious kingdom of everlasting rest. Some hearts were touched and comforted; and though I felt empty, I hoped it was in the way of duty. Returned home in the evening.

Tenth month 1st. My wife, my sister H. Rhoads, and myself, attended Goshen Monthly Meeting; it was a solid meeting, in which the spring of gospel ministry was opened in several, to our mutual comfort and strength.

19th. The Friends appointed by the Meeting for Sufferings, to examine certain doctrinal works, which have given the Society much uneasiness and disturbance, convened at three o'clock this afternoon. They were favored with a covering of religious weight and solemnity; and after a time of silent waiting, the minute of their appointment was read. Friends deliberately expressed their views, of the course proper to be taken, in the investigation, in which there appeared and was felt much harmony; after which, some Friends were named to enter upon the work, and draw up such a document as would show the disagreement of many parts of those works, with the doctrines ever held by the Society.

29th. Went to Newtown Meeting, where I found a small company assembled, for the purpose of Divine worship; and having been for many days in a low state, I was prepared by the good band of the Lord, to enter into sympathy with them.

They appeared to need encouragement, and also to be stirred up to a more fervent travail of spirit, that they might know the work of regeneration to be progressing in themselves. Through the humbling, quickening power of Him, who is the resurrection and the life, I was enabled to visit the precious seed, kept down in some hearts, and not enough cherished in others; and I believe it was in some of them, raised into dominion in good degree. We were humbled and tendered together, and thanksgiving was secretly offered for the favor vouchsafed.

Eleventh month 1st. Was opened our evening meeting for the winter. I was engaged towards the close, to warn our young people, in the love of the gospel, of the many snares which the enemy is spreading to entangle them; and to persuade them to yield to the convictions of the grace of their Redeemer; that they might escape the remorse which the disobedient and impenitent bring upon themselves.

2nd. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline was a season of much inward conflict.

3rd. Feeling an impression of religious duty to attend Stanford Quarterly Meeting in New York, I mentioned the subject to the Monthly Meeting, which gave me a minute of its unity, to visit that and the meetings composing it. My dear friend Joseph Snowden, agreeing to accompany me, we took passage to New York; but owing to the fog on the Delaware, we were detained nearly two and a half hours, and did not get into the city much before one o'clock in the morning. Lodged at a public hotel, and took the seven o'clock boat on the North River. We landed at Poughkeepsie, a little before one o'clock; dined, and towards evening left for S. Upton's.

On the 5th we went to the Select Meeting, which in some respects, was rather a trying time.

6th. Attended the Meeting for Discipline. After several communications and a time of silence, I believed it my place to call the attention of some to the inward work of religion, inviting the young and the middle-aged to come under the yoke of Christ; and encouraging the tribulated ones who had experienced the work in good measure, to look to the Lord alone, who would preserve all such in their deepest trials, and in his time make a way for them, and for his church to surmount them all. It was laborious at first, but the life rose finally into some good dominion.

In the second meeting, towards the close, I felt engaged to exhort the upright hearted to support the discipline, and our testimonies and doctrines, in the wisdom and strength which Christ alone gives. Returned to S. Upton's, and next day visited two Friend's families; having religious opportunities in both.

8th. First-day morning we went to the Creek Meeting, where a pretty large company assembled. For some time I sat under fear, that some were more disposed to hear words, than to get the mind withdrawn from things without, and centered upon the Lord alone. I was led to remind them that the great object of our thus assembling, was to feel after Him, as the apostle expresses, if haply we may find Him, who is not far from every one of us, for in Him we live, and move, and have our being. Many subjects were gradually opened before me; among which was the conscientious strictness which the Lord requires, even from the earliest visitations of his love and power, to perform our moral duties justly, and uprightly, as in his presence.

This I could testify from experience, after I was brought to submit to his grace. The humbling power of the Lord came over us, so that some were tendered by its heavenly influence. Dined at Paul Upton's, and a meeting being appointed at three o'clock, at Stanford, we rode over, but were a little belated. There were a number of persons not professing with us, besides Friends, who were assembled. The importance of a careful education of their children, imbuing their minds with a love for the truths of Holy Scripture, enforced by example, and a solid concern for their everlasting welfare, presented to my mind, with the instance of Timothy. The apostle mentioned to him the unfeigned faith which dwelt in his grandmother Lois, and his mother Eunice, and he was persuaded at that time, in him also. They had been, no doubt, watchful over him from early life. From a child, says the apostle, you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise unto salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus. This shows the benefit which godly parents, who are in the true faith themselves, may be to their offspring, in bringing them up in the right way of the Lord, and be instrumental in guarding them from many evils. One very serious danger arises from the society of those who undervalue, and endeavor to destroy the authority of the Holy Scriptures, and to poison the young people with their sophistry. I felt bound to warn parents and guardians solemnly against permitting the children entrusted to them to mingle with such society; from which they might suffer irreparable injury. It is not often I have felt more sensibly, the necessity of closely watching against the insidious approaches of the spirit of infidelity; which is like the poison of asps under the tongues of some hardened, darkened people; and that the elderly part of society may be instrumental in leading the young people to Christ; that they may be preserved, and through the operation of his Divine power on their minds, may grow up in good liking before Him, and in their day, be fitted for and engaged to advocate his precious cause on the earth.

We lodged at our ancient friend J. F. Hull's hospitable residence, where we had the company of some Friends, and a religious opportunity before retiring to rest.

9th. Second-day. Our beloved friend Paul Upton, took us to North East, where we had an appointed meeting, which my companion thought was a good time; the meeting ending in supplication for the little flock, and our mutual preservation to the close of our earthly pilgrimage.

10th. Attended a meeting appointed at the Creek, by a Friend from Vermont, in which I was silent. In the afternoon, Smith Upton took us to visit several Friends, with two of whom we had religious opportunities.

11th. Went to S. M.'s, near Hudson, where we lodged, and were very kindly and comfortably accommodated. Next day, were at their usual week-day meeting. After a Friend traveling with a minute, had relieved his mind, I felt drawn to encourage the few mourning, and often desolate ones there, to individual faithfulness, in the work of their soul's salvation; by which they would be prepared to lead others in the right way; and to uphold the doctrines and testimonies held by Friends, by consistent lives and conversation. Some who were deeply immersed in the spirit and pursuit of the world, its riches or its applause, were pleaded with to come out of those things. They were reminded of the uncertainty of all earthly gratifications, by the instance which our blessed Savior gives, of the man who, after building storehouses and barns, to contain his goods, said, “Soul, you have much goods laid up in store for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, you fool, this night your soul shall be required of you, then whose shall those things be which you have provided.” It appeared to me there were those present who had great need to lay these things to heart, and to seek the Lord while the day of mercy lasts, lest the night overtake them, in which no man can work. J. W. knelt and supplicated, that the word preached might not return void of the purpose whereunto it was sent.

13th. This morning, S. M. took us to Hudson, and crossing the river at Athens, we found our friend L. B., waiting for us; with whom we rode to his house at Coemans. His residence is on elevated ground, from which we have a very extensive prospect; the Catskill Mountains in the south, farms and villages on the North River for several miles, and a part of Massachusetts, and I believe, of Connecticut, in the east. We had an interesting visit there, and on the following morning a religious opportunity with the family; and then rode over to his father's.

On our way there we made a visit to two aged Friends; the man is in his eighty-seventh year, and his wife, in her eighty-eighth; but her faculties appeared clear; they have been married sixty-five years. She is a minister, lively in spirit, and expressed that she was glad to see us, and considered it an evidence she was not forgotten of her Heavenly Father. After dinner, and before we came away, I mentioned the satisfaction it afforded, to meet with one who kept her integrity, and her interest in the great cause, to so late a period of life. It was clear to me, that the covenant of life, and of peace, with such dedicated and innocent spirited ones, would not be broken; but the tender regard, of their Heavenly Father, would be extended to them to the end. I attended their meeting, and being first-day, it was large. I was, after a time, enabled to stand up, and to show there was much profession of religion, and much talk about it, without knowing the power of it ruling in the heart. Many things relating to this internal work, the offers of Divine mercy, through our Lord Jesus Christ; the possibility of out-living the day of grace, and the awful consequences of dying in sin, were opened to the people, and the meeting ended satisfactorily. From there we were taken to Coxsackie, where we went on board one of the Albany steamboats, and got to New York in the night. It rained hard, but we went to the Philadelphia steamer, between five and six o'clock, and reached our own homes about twelve o'clock; thankful for preservation, and the peace I was favored with; finding my beloved family in health and comfort of mind.

Chapter XIV

1846—1847

Yearly Meeting of 1847—Work about Home—Second Religious Visit to North Carolina.

1846, Twelfth month 21st. I have been let down into a low state, so that faith seemed ready to fail. These dispensations of the withdrawing of all sense of Divine good, have a very reducing effect upon self-importance; and teach us true charity and tenderness towards those who are in affliction, and those who may be wrong. I was brought to cry for mercy, and then to examine whether I had desired that mercy might be showed to others, as I desired it shown to myself. I believe I have craved it even for many, who I apprehended, had neither been nor done what they ought. But this state of seemingly entire desertion by our Heavenly Father, is a bitter cup to drink. May I be more humble, more steadily fearful of getting off the watch unto prayer, and more constant in resisting a light spirit, which would take its ease and indulgence on the sabbath day. We cannot pray when we please, but it is our duty to watch, and to wait for the pouring forth of the spirit of supplication, which produces a broken heart, and a contrite spirit; and enables us to cry availingly to God for mercy, and for help to keep us from falling, through his dear Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

1847, First month. Some things have arisen, increasing the difficulties of the present time, and the weight which the burden-bearers have to support. Some are actuated by party feelings, and seem little to regard what affliction they add to those who stand for the cause and the testimonies of Christ. The number who heartily devote themselves to service and to sufferings, in these perilous times, is comparatively few. Many are afraid of their name among men, and of being identified with the despised suffering seed. All qualification for the ministry has been much withdrawn, and when I had some secret, yet almost obscure intimation of the kind, I felt afraid of standing forth, lest I should fail; and when I did give up, in fear, I was as one who had attempted to walk, and was in danger of falling, but I had some reason to believe, that in this season of weakness and timidity, the sense which some others had of it, tended to contrite and humble them. Strength and confidence in that everlasting Arm, which is the unfailing support of the Lord's baptized and devoted servants, were gradually restored; and the spring of the ministry was again opened, and things new and old, given me to declare to others, in the fresh authority and power of the unchanging Truth.

10th. In our evening meeting, the essential importance of knowing the Lord Jesus revealed in our own hearts, and not only believing in the record of the Holy Scripture, in relation to his coming and suffering in the flesh, but also receiving Him in his spiritual, inward appearance, to break every yoke, and prepare the soul for the Lord God, by his spirit, to dwell in, was opened and enforced. Many can say much respecting Him, and what He has done for us, without us, who yet seem determined to keep Him without them; while they judge and condemn those who plead for the inward and spiritual knowledge of God and Christ, as well as for a full belief of all that He has done for us, in the prepared body; and as our Mediator and Intercessor with the Father.

15th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings, in which a memorial addressed to both Houses of Congress, against war, was adopted, and the committee nominated to prepare it, was directed to have it presented; which was accordingly done.

26th. This morning in the silence, after reading to my family in the New Testament, the Master, in tender mercy, drew near, and renewed my faith in Him, and in his unfailing goodness; so that I was enabled to adopt in secret the language of his disciples, “Now we believe and are sure that you are that Christ, the Son of the living God.” Hereby we know that He is the author of all true and saving faith when He manifests Himself to us, after seasons of great desertion, and clothes us afresh with it; so that we are made sure that it is He and not another; the immutable Rock which will sustain all who are built up by Him on it. Oh that I may be favored so to live as to continue to be a partaker of such marks of Divine mercy and kindness.

Second month 1st. Our Quarterly Meeting was a season of inward suffering; the spring of Divine life not being felt to flow amongst us, to the solacing and cheering of the hearts of the burden-bearers.

3rd and 4th. My wife and myself attended Abington Quarterly Meeting, held at Germantown, which is a small company, particularly the select meeting. To the members who compose this small body, the language of encouragement was extended; and in the meeting for discipline of the general meeting, I was enabled to invite the young men to be faithful to the manifestations of the Light of Christ, and they would feel themselves bound to maintain the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel held by Friends, wherever they went, both great and small.

Hereby they would be prepared for service in the church, and be constrained in our meetings for discipline, to speak a word in the authority of Truth, at the Master's bidding, to the business before their meetings. They would feel it a religious duty to support the discipline, and to stand for the blessed cause, entrusted to our Society to uphold in the world.

Third month. On the 28th, being first-day, I went to the Northern District Meeting, feeling a particular draft there; and was led to treat upon the beginning and growth of true religion in the heart; which is through obedience to the requisitions of the blessed Savior, made known there. Also to show the benumbing, stupefying effects of a constant pursuit of riches; in which the extraordinary talents bestowed upon man, by an all-wise and beneficent Creator, are prostituted to inferior objects; so that he finally loves and serves the creature, himself and his temporal acquisitions, instead of the Creator. Thus the great and noble purpose for which he was made, to glorify God, is lost sight of, and altogether neglected. There was also a cup of consolation and encouragement to the sincere in heart, to keep their trust in the Lord alone, who never was foiled in battle; but whose omnipotent arm is round about to preserve, and will carry through and over all opposition, those who look to and confide in, and follow Him faithfully to the end.

31st. I attended the Western District Meeting; and after some time of silent waiting, it opened to me, to show the way by which we come to obtain peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ; namely, by denying ourselves, taking up the cross, and obeying his commands, as He makes them known to us by his Spirit. No device of ours will be taken as a substitute.

God will not give his glory to any other, but to his well-beloved Son, whom He has given for salvation to the end of the earth; and if we are saved, it will be by Him, and that by doing his will. To these He gives the reward of true peace, for every sacrifice and service, which is performed by his direction.

The Lord helped me, by his saving strength, to preach the gospel of life and salvation, through Christ Jesus, both in the flesh as He walked among men, and in the Spirit, as He appears in our hearts by his light and grace, to the tendering of some present, and to my own peace and comfort. Blessed forever be his great and glorious name and power! He still condescends to the low estate of his poor unworthy creatures; lifts them up at times out of their depressed conditions; gives them the oil of joy for mourning, and shows to them, that He has not forgotten to be gracious; unworthy as they are of the least of his mercies.

Fourth month 12th. Yesterday morning my wife and myself went to Wilmington, to attend the funeral of our late beloved friend John Bullock, who died suddenly with apoplexy. He had of latter years become increasingly valuable to his friends, and to religious society; his removal is a great affliction to his relatives, and trial to the meeting there. We felt deeply for them, and in much sympathy, believed it right to be at their meeting, on first-day, as well as to pay the last respect to the memory of our worthy friend. Both morning and afternoon meetings were favored opportunities; many hearts being humbled and contrited, under a renewed sense of the Lord's mercy and tender compassion, even towards the rebellious. The honest, exercised remnant there, on whom much weight rests, for the sake of the cause and testimony of their God, were comforted, and a little strengthened in the hope that He will not cast them off, or forsake his people, though He permits them to be closely proven in the removal of dear fellow helpers. We had cause to bless his holy name, for the evidence which He gave, that He grants the immediate help and strength of his Spirit, and puts words into the mouths of his servants, to speak to the people, in his authority, and to their refreshment; attended with the conviction that they are handed from the Lord's treasury.

26th. Our Yearly Meeting was held last week. I believe the Lord wrought for his faithful, dedicated children, and brought them through, to his honor, and to their comfort and humiliation. The reading of the document containing an exposition of erroneous passages from the works of two writers in England, with the other minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings, occupied all third-day and part of fourth-day morning. Soon after finishing, the manifestation of unity commenced, and a large number expressed their satisfaction with the document. Opposition to it was, however, made by some; to which little reply was offered, except so far as to explain some facts, which were misstated, in order to make clear the right of the Meeting for Sufferings, to prepare the exposition; and that it was called for, in defense of our religious principles, and in defense of our own Yearly Meeting; inasmuch as we had been frequently calling the attention of Friends in England to those writings, as containing sentiments inimical to the faith of Friends. Much patience and deliberation were manifested by those who united with the document. Many, as they had opportunity, seriously gave their voices in favor of it, after listening to the objections which were made. Friends in favor of the meeting sanctioning it, spoke in a decided and serious manner; and evidence was given, that it was the prevailing, solid sense of the meeting, it should be adopted; and a minute to that effect was made; to which, at the last, little opposition was offered; and the meeting, in a short time, settled down in a quiet and peaceful feeling; which satisfied many that it was owned by the Head of the church. To those who have been long burdened with the unsound opinions in these books, it was a great relief that the meeting was enabled to come to this decision; and they believed it was to be attributed to the superintendence and controlling power of the Blessed Head of the church; and humble gratitude clothed their spirits. The remaining business of the meeting was conducted with solidity, and brought to a close, under feelings of solemnity.

Fifth month 13th. I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting, and felt my mind clothed with very affectionate desires, that all might be kept under a fervent travail of spirit, and thereby become fruit-bearing branches of the true Vine, to the praise of the Great Husbandman. The language of sympathy and encouragement flowed to the true burden bearers, whose faith is proved, and great poverty of spirit their portion. And the young people were addressed in the language of persuasion, to obey the requirings of the Shepherd of the sheep, and turn their backs to the temptations of Satan, take up the cross and follow Christ; who would prepare them to shine as lights, and to exalt and honor his name and glorious cause in the earth. It was a time of favor from the Lord, whose mercies are new every morning; though we are often withheld from perceiving them.

I returned home on sixth-day morning, the 14th, with a peaceful mind, replenished with a fresh sense of the benefits of mingling with our distant friends at the Lord's bidding; in which the invisible fellowship is strengthened and revived. Since this visit, I have been wading along under discouraging prospects of the condition of the Society, and with but little ability administered, to draw near to the inexhaustible Fountain, either in or out of meeting. This has excited desires for increasing watchfulness, and solid demeanor before all.

Sixth month 1st. My wife and myself went early this morning to Woodbury, and attended their Monthly Meeting; in which both of us had some service.

8th. After calling at the recent residence of our cousin Ann Scattergood, who died the preceding evening; I went to the Northern District Meeting, and sitting under much poverty of spirit, even while a dear Friend was engaged in the ministry; there seemed finally to be a little quickening virtue felt, under which I was engaged to bear testimony to the sufficiency of the everlasting Shepherd and Captain of salvation, to carry on the work, in and through his faithful children, to the end of their heavenly journey. “Oh that [my people] were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end! How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them and the Lord had shut them up.” The daily consideration of our latter end, tends to give us a proper estimate of things under the sun; even the comforts and accommodations with which we are surrounded; and at the same time, to centre our thoughts and affections upon that eternal weight of glory, which is to be hereafter revealed to the steadfast followers of the Lamb. I thought the Lord mercifully granted a little fresh ability to advocate his cause; which is dignified with immortality, and crowned with eternal life, and to hand a morsel of bread to comfort some weary travelers.

29th. This morning my dear wife and myself left for Greenwich, New Jersey. The weather was warm, but being in a fast-moving boat, we had a pleasant breeze; and from the upper deck, the view of the islands, and the scenery along the shores of Delaware and New Jersey, with the great expanse of water below Reedy Island, made the trip very pleasant and refreshing.

Our beloved cousins, George and Naomi Bacon, with other Friends, received us with much cordiality. We attended their Monthly Meeting on fifth-day. In the meeting we had some service to the exaltation of the name, and goodness of our God; who watches over, preserves and provides for those who give themselves up to his requirings; both in temporals and spirituals. The hearts of some were contrited and comforted, in a reverent sense of the Lord's mercy and kindness, still extended to us, an unworthy people; though there are, perhaps, in every meeting, those preserved alive in the Truth, and, I hope, growing in it.

On first-day, we attended the meeting at Salem; in which my dear wife was drawn forth, in fellow feeling with some who were partaking of bitter trials, so as, at times, to feel life almost a burden, and to desire a release; but she said she believed if their sufferings were rightly borne, they would, under the Divine blessing, prove a means for the sanctification of the soul.

The language of sympathy and encouragement, through her, had a tendering effect; and I have no doubt, met with an answer of, so be it, in some hearts. I was engaged to call the attention of some to the importance of showing their love to Christ Jesus, in whom we profess to believe, by keeping his word, and the commands He gives us to obey. It seems to be an easy matter, in this day of great biblical knowledge, to make a high profession of belief in Christ; and for people to think themselves justified by this belief; but it will avail little to those who do not keep his word in their hearts, and bring forth the fruits thereof, to the praise of our Heavenly Father. “If a man love me,” said our blessed Lord, “he will keep my words; and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” It is thus only that we can witness the love of God shed abroad in our hearts; and through the Holy Spirit, hold communion with the Father, and with his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. My beloved wife concluded the meeting with solemn supplication. In the afternoon we visited two aged Friends, to one of whom she spoke encouragingly.

Seventh month 5th. We took the steamboat for home, feeling satisfied with the little visit, and hoping that although what was done was in weakness and fear, it would tend to the strengthening of the good in some.

13th. Was at the North Meeting; in which Ezekiel's vision of the dry bones in the valley, which were very dry, was brought before me. It seemed not only to represent the state of many of the house of Israel, who were very destitute of the love and life of God in their hearts, but also the condition of those who were baptized for the dead, and who, at times, such was their stripped and destitute condition, as to the sensible feeling of the life-giving presence of the Lord, were ready to doubt whether they would ever again experience it, and be enabled to stand before Him with acceptance. Yet He, who is the resurrection and the life, can and does breathe on bones whose energy is departed, clothe them as with sinews and flesh, and breathe into them the breath of life, and raise them up as an army for his service. I hope a little of his quickening virtue was felt among us this day.

16th. Our Meeting for Sufferings having adjourned to this time, forty-seven members convened; and the committee to whom had been referred, by the Yearly Meeting, the document upon the unsound doctrines, now reported a few alterations, which were read to the meeting, and adopted. None of them abated the force, or varied the character of this testimony for the truth of our ancient doctrines. There was a very united and solemn feeling over the meeting; but two members dissenting from the publication of it. Christopher Healy and Ezra Comfort bore lively testimonies to the sweetness of the covering spread over us; and though one of them seemed to foresee further close trials awaiting the church, they both believed as Friends kept steadfast to the Truth, victory would finally be obtained over that spirit which is seeking to lay waste our precious faith. I hope that the Appeal put forth for the Ancient Doctrines will be blessed, to the comfort and settlement of many in the right way of the Lord.

Eighth month 18th. Of latter time being under much exercise, and at seasons clothed with many fears, I have had little call openly to speak in the assemblies of the Lord's people; and when I have believed myself constrained to stand forth on behalf of my gracious Lord and Master and his cause, it has been in but few words, yet attended with the evidence of being rightly authorized, by his peace shed abroad in my mind.

Today I felt called on to bear testimony, that He, who gave his disciples power over all the power of the enemy, so that nothing should by any means offend or harm them, was still with his faithful, devoted children; and according to their respective conditions, growths and services in the church, would give them power over all the power of the enemy, in the various assaults and temptations with which he may be permitted to buffet them; if on their part they keep faithful to Him. Christ only knows the depth of baptism needful for the humiliation and refinement of his disciples; and if they hold fast the grain of faith, which will never be entirely taken from them, in his time, He will appear to them, as the resurrection and the life; renew their faith, and grant an evidence, that their feet are upon the Rock of ages, the sure foundation, against which the gates of hell cannot prevail.

19th. I went to Haddonfield, and attended that meeting; in which I was drawn forth to say close things to some, who were doing despite to the offers of Divine love and mercy to them: who had become like the heath in the desert, in a dry and barren soil; not partaking of the water of life, by which alone the soul can be kept alive unto God; and such is their insensibility, that they know not when good comes. These were pleaded with, to lay these things solemnly to heart; for the time was fast approaching, when the awful message would be sounded in their ear, “Steward, give an account of your stewardship, for you may be no longer steward.” Also the fearful, trembling followers of Christ, were encouraged to keep the faith; for in his time He would shed abroad his peace in their hearts, and grant an evidence of his acceptance and approbation. Called upon a few Friends, and returned home in peace.

26th. My wife and myself attended Plymouth Meeting; in which the Master employed us in his work, both for the warning of those who are in danger of being swallowed up with the spirit of the world, and in comforting and strengthening the feeble and weary, who love the Truth, and desire its prosperity more than anything beside.

Ninth month 17th. The Meeting for Sufferings, which met today, was large. The exposed condition of the free colored population of our State, was considered, and referred to a committee on slavery. The meeting agreed to stereotype Robert Barclay's Apology for the true Christian Divinity, as believed by Friends.

26th. First-day. I went to meeting this morning, humbled under a sense of the many snares and dangers which surround all, especially young people; and my soul was poured forth in mental, fervent supplication to the Lord, that He would be pleased to preserve my dear children in purity, and in a state of acceptance with Him. I renounced all desire for riches or worldly greatness, and craved that He would make them his by adoption, and prepare them for his kingdom.

Tenth month 2nd. In consequence of using an expression undignified, and betraying a lack of watchfulness, mortification and abasedness were my clothing. There is nothing pertaining to us to glory in—nothing we can glory in—save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which we are crucified to the world, and the world unto us; and when every wrong thing in us, is crucified and made subject to the dominion of Christ, then we have good cause to give glory to the power and goodness by which we are subjected to Him.

10th. Friends and others are returning from their country residences, by which our meeting is enlarged. That love, which leads to desire the everlasting welfare of souls, covered the hearts of some, and a renewed qualification was granted to invite all to faithfulness, in obeying the clear requisitions of our Heavenly Father, made known by his spirit in the heart. It is this which will dignify and make men truly honorable; a blessing to their fellow creatures; and prepare them for the society of saints and angels, and the church of the first-born, whose names are written in heaven.

24th. First-day morning, at our meeting, I was engaged to call upon some to embrace the offered gift of repentance, that they may receive strength to “work while it is called today; for behold the night comes wherein no man can work.” No man can command these offers of mercy and help. It is then his highest wisdom and interest, to lay hold of them when he is favored with them, lest the awful period come when he may be called to appear in the presence of his Almighty Judge, and he be unprepared for the solemn event. Next day, a well-concerned Friend told me that what was said was his exercise reduced into words. It is pleasant, when the day laborers are favored to see eye to eye, and to bring forth good fruit.

26th. Through much doubt and discouragement, I went to the North Meeting. Dear Rachel Thornton was there, and had a consoling testimony to those, deeply proved. My mind was turned to the dear young people, who were exposed to the evil insinuations of the wicked one; both by the fluctuations in the Society, and his attempts to captivate them with the fashions of a corrupt world. The Lord's presence was with us, and solemnized and tendered some hearts. It showed me the need of walking by faith, when there is little sight; and when the grand deceiver would prevent us from doing our duty; thereby robbing the church, and losing the reward of Divine approbation and peace.

Eleventh month 1st. Having obtained a minute of the unity of the Monthly Meeting to attend North Carolina Yearly Meeting, and to visit some meetings belonging to it, I left home this morning under feelings of desire for preservation. My beloved friend Henry Cope, who also obtained a minute, accompanied me. I had for many months felt affectionately drawn towards some meetings there; and light seemed to shine on some places particularly. Love warmed and softened my heart towards dear Friends in that country; and the pointing was so strong, that it appeared to be unsafe to disregard it; and I had accordingly opened it to the Monthly Meeting, and a free expression of unity followed. We left by railroad about eight o'clock; and in passing through Baltimore, called on a few Friends; and reached Washington after dark, where we lodged.

2nd. Took the steamer on the Potomac; landed at Aquia Creek, and from there proceeded in the cars to Richmond and Petersburg. On the way I had conversation with two slaveholders; one of whom I found afterwards was Governor of Virginia. He argued that our Savior never forbade slaveholding; but I replied that the spirit and principles of his religion were against it; and that the precept, “All things whatsoever you would that men should do unto you, do you also unto them;” would put an end to it. But they were hardened against everything that would oppose their favorite system; and to me they appeared to hold in light estimation the authority of the christian religion. On the subject of war, they were equally in the dark. One of them strove to cast a slur on Friends; saying, that they would fight in cases of great emergency. But I referred him to the seventy years government of Friends in Pennsylvania, during which no war took place there; and also the firm constancy of Friends in Ireland, during the civil war there, in which but two of the Society lost their lives, and they because they took up arms. This man finally admitted the many corruptions inseparable from slavery, and its disadvantageous influence wherever it exists. I believe there are seasons in which such are brought under conviction, that the holding of slaves is wrong, and that it is a curse upon the country.

Supped at Petersburg, between eight and nine o'clock; and after arranging our baggage in the burden car, for Raleigh, set out and travelled all night; changing cars twice, in which we found poor accommodations for sleeping. Got to Raleigh near noon on the 3rd. Took the mail stage, and had a wearisome ride through the night; the stage being crowded, and heavily laden. We reached Greensborough between one and two o'clock, dined, and in the afternoon, went in the Salem stage to the Boarding School at New Garden. Here we met our friend Dougan Clark, who invited us to put up with him, and we accordingly walked to his house, being about one and a quarter miles, and felt ourselves agreeably accommodated with himself and valuable wife.

5th. We were taken to Deep River, to attend the Meeting for Sufferings. The business consisted principally in endeavoring, through committees, to secure the freedom of colored people, placed by slaveholders under the charge of Friends; to have them transferred to other parts of the Union, where they can enjoy their freedom, unmolested by the cruel and unjust laws, which the State has passed, to bind the shackles on the poor down-trodden slave, and to discourage and prevent the holders from giving them their liberty.

6th. Attended the Meeting for Ministers and Elders, in which I was engaged to hold up the importance of maintaining our testimony to the spiritual nature of Divine worship under the gospel dispensation. It requires devotedness to the Truth, and a willingness to endure mortification before the people, at times, in a steadfast waiting for the Master's life-giving presence; not daring to put forth a hand to any work, until He appears and gives strength and authority for it. If this precious testimony, by which we are much distinguished from other denominations, is not preserved, the Society must go down. After meeting, we rode back to New Garden.

7th. The meeting for worship this morning was crowded, and for a long time much disturbed. I felt impressed with the necessity of advocating the doctrine of the universality of the Light of Christ, as it shines at times in the hearts of all men. It gives man a sight of his fallen condition, alienated from God by sin; and by obedience to it, he is gradually led out of darkness into the marvelous light of the Lord, and thus witnesses, as he perseveres faithfully, a growth and an establishment in the Truth. Christ Jesus is the author and finisher of the saints' faith. True faith is not a faculty of the human mind; but a firm belief and confidence, produced by the operation of his Spirit on the heart, that what He requires of man to forsake or to perform, is the revealed will of our Heavenly Father; and leads us to put our trust in Christ, the Captain of salvation. He came to save us from our sins, not in them; and we must be separated from sin, before we can experience complete justification and redemption.

8th. Second-day morning, the meeting for business commenced. Towards the close, the importance of rightly holding a Yearly Meeting, coming before me, and of Friends conducting, during the recess, at their respective lodging places, in a manner consistent with the object of their coming together, I felt drawn affectionately to call their attention, particularly that of the young people, to it; and to mention a remark made to me in my early going out on religious visits, by an elder in the church of Christ; that he always found it best to keep under religious exercise. This is a state of inward watchfulness; keeping the fear of the Lord before our eyes, lest we should do anything that would be inconsistent with the object of our leaving home. For lack of this, how will Satan rob us and wound us, and deprive us of the benefit intended by these opportunities. The young people were invited to guard against everything of a light and frivolous nature, by which they would suffer loss. Friends expressed their unity with it, and wished it might have proper place with them.

9th. The Queries and Answers were read; which exhibited many deficiencies, in various branches of our christian testimonies.

Individual responsibility, and the proper home education of children, claimed my attention; and I was led to open the importance of examining our own conduct, the influence of which, either for evil or for good, may be greater than we imagine. George Fox mentions, that if but one man or woman lived in the Spirit, which the prophets and apostles lived in, who gave forth the Scriptures, he or she would shake the country for ten miles round. Their influence would extend in many cases further than that. The Holy Spirit can bring to remembrance the example of righteous men and women, and thereby convict the evil-doer; and incite him to forsake wrong things, and come into the way of holiness, and steadfastly persevere in it. Heads of families were earnestly exhorted to watch over their own conduct, that they might not say or do anything which they could not approve in their children. Committed to our care, in the wilderness of this world, we are bound to do all that is in our power to bring them to Christ; and to do nothing that would lead them into the spirit and customs of the world. In the awful day of account, it will be of unspeakable importance, that the blood of others is not found upon our garments.

The practice of frequently reading the Holy Scriptures in their families, was also pressed upon Friends; and that it be done in a serious manner, with hearts turned to the Lord; in which, at times, the spirit of supplication is poured out upon such, and they enabled to pray in spirit for themselves, and their beloved offspring.

10th. Fourth-day. Attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders; in which was pointed out the necessity of elders coming under a measure of the same Divine anointing imparted for the ministry, to qualify them to discern and judge between thing and thing. Between that ministry which comes from the true gospel spring, and that which originates in the activity and imagination of the natural mind; that while they properly encourage and cherish the timid and fearful, in the exercise of the gift committed to them, they may discourage forward spirits that run into words without life and authority. Dined at the school-house; attended the adjourned sitting of the Meeting for Sufferings; and returned to our lodgings.

11th. Fifth-day. The business of the Yearly Meeting was concluded.

Chapter XX

1847—1848

Continuation of Visit in North Carolina—Trials at Home, and Services in its Neighborhood—Extract from a Letter—Views on Separations.

1847, Eleventh month 12th. We remained until near evening, with our dear friends D. and A. Clark, and then were taken by their son to a Friend's house, where we lodged. Next morning, he took us to Centre, where we attended the Western Quarterly Meeting. Here the Lord gave me renewed ability to preach the gospel of Christ Jesus; showing that every member of his body is prepared for his place therein, by knowing the working of the Lord's mighty power, in his own regeneration and sanctification, in the first place. When his service is assigned, he must rely for wisdom and strength to do it, upon Him who taught him obedience to his will, in resisting and overcoming the assaults of the enemy; and, from time to time, delivered him as out of the paw of the lion and of the bear. The examples of Moses and David, in the wilderness, when, in the care of their father's sheep, they were divinely instructed in solitude, and prepared through obedience to the Divine voice, and in that saving faith with which the Lord inspired them, for more public and extensive usefulness among his people, were opened to the meeting. The young people were earnestly entreated to come under the government of Christ, that they might occupy the stations designed for them, and reap the reward of his sweet peace.

14th. First-day. Rode several miles to Springfield, where many, not professing with us, attended the meeting. The state of those, who like the Jews, were pleasing themselves with being Abraham's children, but whose works do not prove them to be in the faith of Abraham, came before me. Outward advantages increase our responsibility, but unimproved, will not recommend us to the Divine regard; nor will the disadvantages under which many are placed, deprive them of the Lord's favor, if they do not bring them upon themselves by wrong doing.

“Of a truth,” says the apostle, “I perceive that God is no respecter of persons; but in every nation, he that fears Him and works righteousness, is accepted with Him.” All outward distinction will avail nothing, unless we are walking in the footsteps of Christ's companions, working righteousness in the fear of God. The awfulness of being found without oil in our vessels, with our lamps, when the midnight cry is heard, was solemnly held up to view. Some were warned of losing the spirit of discernment, with which they had been favored, and by keeping to which alone, they can distinguish the voice of the true Shepherd, from that of the stranger. The sheep of Christ know his voice, and they follow Him.

The meeting ended with supplication for the continued mercy, and preserving power of our Heavenly Father, extended to his church and his people; that He would regard our infirmities, forgive our sins, and enable us to ascribe unto Him, to whom alone it belongs, with the Lamb who sits on the throne, all glory and honor, salvation and strength, through the eternal Spirit, now and forevermore. Amen.

On the 16th, we went to New Salem, where we had a meeting with the few Friends residing near, and in the village; also some other persons who had been invited. The nature of Divine worship, the necessity of being brought off from all dependence upon man, and coming to an inward acquaintance with the Lord Jesus, relying upon Him as our teacher and minister, were set before them. All the efforts of man, in his will and time, to comprehend the truths of the gospel, or to teach others the way of religion, will be fruitless. Man, in his natural condition, may set himself to work, and conclude he knows much; yet proceeding from his own spirit it will not work the righteousness of God, or promote the Redeemer's kingdom. I felt much for the young people, and warned them of the machinations of wicked men and women, who were trying to draw unsuspecting young people into their evil practices. For those who were striving to do right, I was prostrated in vocal prayer, that they might be strengthened, and that the visitations of the Lord's love and mercy, might be extended to the young people; bringing them to submit to bear the yoke and cross of Christ, and preparing them to uphold the standard of pure righteousness where they dwell. We put up with a son of Dougan Clark's, where we were very comfortably and agreeably entertained.

17th. This morning, he took us over to Marlborough, about five miles, where we attended their regular meeting; which was a pretty large gathering, notice of our intention of being there, having been spread. Here I was enabled to relieve myself in the love of the gospel, towards Friends, of which the meeting chiefly consisted.

18th. We had a rough, tedious ride to Holly Spring, the route being over roads not much used, and in bad repair. The land was very poor, and thinly populated. I thought I should soon wish to be released from this world's concerns, if I was fixed in some places through which we rode. It was the time of their Preparative Meeting, and the company was nearly all Friends; to whom I was led to speak of the importance of being under a daily travail and watchfulness, that we may be favored with a discerning spirit, so as to detect the insinuations of Satan, in his various attempts to deceive; whether in our individual capacity, or in the church. By faithfulness to the Divine Word, who is a discerner of the thoughts, and intents of the heart, a qualification is received to judge righteous judgment in the church. We dined at Enoch Barker's, who, with his children, appear to be acquainted with the cross. The company of such Friends is animating.

Rode about two miles, and lodged. In the night it commenced raining, and continued most of the morning, which made traveling, over bad roads, but little frequented, quite disagreeable and tedious. In one place, we were obliged to get out of the carriage, and keep it from overturning. We reached our friend John Newlin's, near the Spring meeting-house, towards evening, and were received and entertained by him and his family, in a kind and hospitable manner. At New Garden, he told us, “If you come to my house, you will get to Raleigh, which we found to be about forty-seven miles distant. Accordingly preparation was made, and the following morning, the 20th, we got off, and rode about thirty-seven miles; parts of the road being very hilly; and put up for the night at a private house of entertainment.

Before leaving John Newlin's, I felt drawn to acknowledge the kindness of Friends in providing for us, and to express my desire, that as some of us were descending the hill of time, while it is a duty to attend to our necessary worldly avocations, we may keep in view the importance of preparing for that city which has foundations, whose builder and maker the Lord of Hosts is. We parted with feelings of respect and affection for the parents and children, not knowing but that it might be the last time we should visit their habitation.

21st. After taking breakfast, we rode into Raleigh; directing our course, when reaching the suburbs, to the house of a free colored man, who keeps a livery stable, and carriages to hire, with whom we contracted to be taken to Rich Square. Being desirous of reaching the meeting held there on fourth-day, we set off, after taking dinner at the colored man's table, and rode twenty miles, to Foster's, a private house, where we supped and lodged.

22nd. Rose early, and rode twelve miles to Crenshaw's, to breakfast. Rode about thirty-five miles, between breakfast and night, and put up at another private house, in which we had little comfort, the views and habits of the inmates being very different from congeniality with our own. Here we fell into conversation with a young man upon the poverty of their farms, and the very reduced value of the land; which he told us, would not bring much more than two dollars an acre, with all the buildings and fencing. We suggested that the cause was keeping slaves, which he could not deny; and when we informed him of the worth of land in Pennsylvania, and the steady advance in quality, improvements, and price, he seemed surprised, and thought he should like to travel through those parts where such cultivation and its fruits are to be found.

We retired early, but were disturbed by their music and dancing; rose before any of the family were moving, having paid our fare over night, and rode eight miles to breakfast, at Enfield. Here we obtained directions respecting the road to Pollock's Ferry, on the Roanoke, and set out.

On the Roanoke, where we crossed, are fine farms, owned by a person of the name of Devereux, a large slaveholder. The soil is rich, and his crops are said to be very great and profitable; but the fact that they are produced and gathered by the toil and sweat of men and women, who have no more interest in them, than the cattle by which the land is worked, detracts altogether from the satisfaction we should otherwise have in viewing such flourishing farms. Getting directions respecting the road, we found our way to T. and E. P.'s, through miles of timbered land. They received us with much cordiality; which was truly pleasant, as we had looked towards this place with apprehensions of difficulty in timely reaching it, and fearing, if we did accomplish the journey, we might not find any conveyance to Piney Woods, where the Quarterly Meeting is held at this time; about seventy miles ride. But on enquiry, we found provision had been made for us in that respect also; which was cause of thankfulness to our Heavenly Father, as well as gratitude to our friends; strengthening us in the belief that we were under his guidance and protection. We spent the evening in interesting conversation with our friends.

24th. It was a favorable circumstance that we had dry weather, on our journey from Raleigh here, as our carriage was small and exposing. Last night it rained, and this morning had a very unfavorable appearance; but being provided for, we went to Rich Square, the meeting to which Richard Jordan belonged, when he resided in North Carolina. The company was small, some having gone to Piney Woods. I felt low and weak, and fearful of making any mistake; but being impressed with the great importance of purity of heart, that man may be prepared to hold communion with his Heavenly Father, and beholding with an eye of faith, the secret travail of spirit which the visited obedient soul is brought under to attain to this purity, I believed it right to rise with these impressions, and to deliver in a simple way, what might be given me. As I went on, in singleness of heart to the Lord, the gospel stream rose a little, to the tendering of some, and I hope to the instruction of others.

After meeting, taking leave of our friends with feelings of sincere affection, we went with J. C. to his house, and lodged. The afternoon being rainy, we deferred setting off for Piney Woods until morning. In the evening, two or three young Friends being also there, we collected around the fire, and fell into silence; and unexpectedly to myself, I felt drawn towards the heads of the family, with affectionate solicitude that they might keep the world and its necessary concerns, in their proper places; so that all their duties to their Heavenly Father, and to each other, might be rightly performed; that the cumbers and cares of this life might not interfere with that devotion of spirit, which is essential to a growth in the Truth, and the performance of the services which the Head of the church calls for; which I was engaged to communicate to them.

25th. We set off pretty early, crossed the Chowan River in a flat, and on its bank refreshed ourselves with some food brought in the carriage. Then proceeded on our way, riding often through water, sometimes a fourth of a mile at a time, which flowed over the road from surrounding swamps, making traveling often laborious for the horses. We called at two private houses, before we obtained accommodations for the night, there being no taverns on the road, and were grateful to find one willing to take us in; night coming on and we pretty well fatigued.

We paid the landlord freely, though he seemed unwilling to take the full price. In the Southern States, the people are noted for their hospitality, without making charge for food and lodgings; and, therefore, willingly receive the same kindness gratuitously, which they have bestowed on others. But being strangers, I did not feel satisfied to receive entertainment without pay, from those on whom we had no claim, and to whom we could make no similar return, and therefore insisted on the landlord receiving more than he proposed; which was not adequate to the comforts of which we partook.

26th. One of the swamps being much filled with water, and the road being under repair, by the erection of a bridge, we had to drive five miles further, to get to David White's; whose residence we reached by half-past ten o'clock. We went to the Select Quarterly Meeting; in which the stream of Divine life seemed low, and little was felt for communication. Returned to David White's, and remained there till the following morning.

27th. The Quarterly Meeting was attended, during the first sitting, by many persons not of our profession. The necessity of being born again; of being converted and becoming as little children, as inculcated by our blessed Lord, was brought before me; and He who opens and hands out of his treasury to his disciples, things new and old, was pleased, in his goodness and condescension, to enable me to preach his gospel, in the demonstration of the Spirit and power. I hoped his great name was exalted.

28th. I was at the first-day meeting, which was a large collection of people of various characters and professions. I endeavored to do what appeared to be my duty, but felt little comfort, though I believe some Divine aid was extended, and some hearts contrited. I strove to leave it all to the Lord, and bear my own burden. Such dispensations of the sense of unprofitableness, are in wisdom; and when properly borne, tend to humble, and lead us to acknowledge that we are unprofitable servants; and that if at any time we have done any good, it has been the Lord's work, to whom all praise and dominion belong.

We rode twelve miles in the afternoon, to William Wilson's, where we lodged. Rose early, and after taking some breakfast, W. Wilson kindly conveyed us in his carriage to Elizabeth City, to meet the stage for Norfolk. We barely secured our passage, so many were going.

We rode about forty-five miles to Portsmouth, which we reached some little time before the Baltimore steamer crossed from Norfolk, on board of which we took our passage. It was rendered unpleasant by the improper conduct and language of an intoxicated young man; but I felt thankful we were permitted to land safely, in the morning; the passage up the Chesapeake Bay being long, and the wind pretty strong ahead, and the water sufficiently rough to cause sickness in some. Breakfasted at the hotel, took seats in the Philadelphia car, and arrived at our beloved homes in the afternoon; thankful to be again united to our dear companions and children.

It is cause of gratitude to the God and Father of all our sure mercies, to be preserved from danger and serious accident; and to believe that He provided for us, and was our guide, so as to perform the work He assigned us to do. May I be favored with his continual providence in my outward and spiritual concerns; so as to be kept obedient to his will, and sanctified and fit for his use, through the cleansing, quickening efficacy of his Divine Word in the heart, unworthy as I am of the least of all his mercies; to whom, with his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, be ascribed all glory and honor, thanksgiving and praise, world without end. Amen.

1848, First month 11th. Soon after my return, a young man who had been in my employ several years, left me, to commence business for himself. This made it necessary for me to confine myself much at my store. I had several offers of assistants, but could not feel easy in my own mind to employ any of them; there being something in their appearance, and the feeling I had respecting them, which deterred me from taking them.

Under these circumstances, I seemed, at times, let down to the bottom of the mountains; there being little to console from without, and the spring much shut up within. But I waded along, and the Lord gave me some tokens of his continued mercy, and the word of command to tell it to others. Some of our evening meetings were solid and encouraging. In due time, the way satisfactorily opened to employ a person, who served his apprenticeship in the same store I did. His age and stability, and his knowledge of the business, made it easy for me to leave, when necessarily absent, on appointments, or any religious engagement; which I esteem a favor from the hand of my heavenly Caretaker and Protector. It appeared to me there was an evidence in it of providential regard.

31st. I was brought low last week, in consequence of a remark which I made applicable to another, though not of great moment, yet inexpedient, at least for one in my station. It renewed strong desires to be favored with more watchfulness, and care over my words and actions; so that no offense may be given to Jew or Gentile, nor the children turned aside from the right path. What a blessing to be favored with a monitor in our own breast, that swiftly condemns for wrong, or for an unguarded expression, and by which we are led into fervent intercession, that we may not be left to ourselves, nor suffered to lose the standing we may have, through mercy, attained in the Truth. Yesterday morning (first-day,) it was a struggling time through the meeting, with little obtained; but in the afternoon, something of the communion of the Holy Spirit was granted; by which faith and hope were renewed. In the evening meeting, I felt constrained to revive the testimony of the prophet, “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” This peace surpasses everything in this world, and is the gift of the Savior to his children. If they keep faithful to Him, there will be seasons in which He will cause it to flow, as a gentle stream, into their souls; but if we do not experience it to be dispensed at times, we may be assured that we are not in the right way of the Lord. The meeting closed under a covering of solemnity.

Second month 1st. My wife and myself went to Germantown, and attended Frankford Monthly Meeting held there. We were both engaged in the ministry; she in encouraging the tried and fearful ones to hold on their way, keeping fast hold of the shield of faith, and not casting it away; for on Mount Gilboa, where the shield of the mighty was vilely cast away, David desired there might be neither dew, nor rain, nor fields of offering; the language of consolation to the mourners flowed, to their comfort and strength. I was engaged to warn some, of the danger of suffering any temptation to draw them away from that travail of spirit, which they had been brought under by the Shepherd of the sheep, in his early visitations, lest they might part with their birthright for a mess of pottage. If any man love anything more than Christ, he will not be worthy of Him. “If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in Him.”

5th. Was held our Select Quarterly Meeting. There seemed to be some exercise that the ancient simplicity might be maintained amongst us; and some Friends thought there was an increased feeling of unity, which it was pleasant to contemplate.

7th. The Quarterly Meeting for business was an unusually solid time. My dear wife spoke in a clear, searching manner, going to show that adversity is by the Lord set over against prosperity, and we shall not escape it. There was a great solemnity over the people, and when separated, it continued in both meetings, and a little ability was granted to search Jerusalem as with candles.

15th. My wife and my sister Hannah Rhoads, having a draft to Shrewsbury and Rahway Quarterly Meeting, we left home this morning, and arrived in Rahway, about seventy miles, in three hours and a half. Our friends kindly met us at the depot, and conducted us to J. P.'s.

16th. We were provided with a conveyance to Plainfield; where we put up at the house of J. and M. S.; the latter a minister, and a firm supporter of the ancient doctrines and testimonies of our religious Society. Attended the Select Quarterly Meeting, in which we had some service.

17th. We were at the meeting for business. In the first sitting, my wife and myself were called forth in the ministry of the gospel. I have seldom felt more divinely helped than on this occasion. There was a Baptist preacher, and a Methodist preacher at the meeting. The universality of Divine grace, and the indispensable need of regeneration, in order to be made full partakers of the mercy and forgiveness of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord, so as to be thereby saved with an everlasting salvation, were preached. Friends expressed in the second meeting, their satisfaction with our company and services; and, I believe, some were brought into feelings of renewed tenderness. It was an evidence of the Lord's merciful regard to us, poor, unworthy creatures, in thus granting a little fresh ability to labor in his heritage.

22nd. This evening a person called at my store for a portion of medicine, which I put up for her, charging her a small price for it; she expressed some acknowledgment; and then asked if I remembered a little girl getting a prescription put up some time before, which I gave her without charge. I told her I did. She then added, the money the child brought to pay with was the last half dollar that her mother possessed; and when she found that you had not charged for the medicine, she prayed for you all night, that the Lord would bless you. From my first entering into business, I have made it a practice to furnish poor people with medicine, when satisfied they needed it; and though this was of little moment, as regards the value bestowed, and in itself nothing new, yet it was pleasant to think that I had the prayers of a poor, distressed fellow creature. “Blessed is the man that considers the poor; the Lord shall deliver him in time of trouble.” It is but little we can do; but it becomes the followers of a suffering, yet victorious Savior, to live under the influence of his Spirit, who did so much for us; and then He will teach us and lead us to feel for the suffering, depressed condition of our fellow creatures, and to minister to their necessities, as it is proper for us.

Last first-day and yesterday, the latter being our Monthly Meeting, I was much shut up; feeling deeply exercised, at times, on account of the present state of our religious Society. Many are unwilling to keep under suffering, and with their loins girded, to watch for the coming of the Master of the house; whose house are we if we hold fast the beginning of our confidence firm unto the end; waiting to see what He will order to be done, and then to act under his direction. There is great danger in putting forth a hand unbidden, to attempt to steady or to support the ark; both from doing an injury to the cause, and bringing death upon ourselves; with the query, “Who has required this at your hand?”

24th. To a letter which I wrote to a Friend about this time, I appended the following: “In the present unsettled state of our religious Society, I am persuaded that the place of safety is individual watchfulness unto prayer; that we may do nothing to create excitement, by which any may be stirred up to do what will not make for peace, and receive the Divine approbation. John Woolman, I think, says, if the church gathers to the place of true prayer, her habitation is safe. In that condition alone, can she be prepared to wait for and to receive the direction of her all-wise and omnipotent Head. And if we stand still, waiting for the salvation of God, we shall have good ground to hope that He will take his cause into his own hand, and carry the church through all its difficulties, to its further refinement, and the praise and glory of his great name. It is a great mistake to grow impatient under suffering; and in order to procure relief, as we imagine, rush into any measure, incompatible with the order of the discipline. If others do wrong, bear a righteous testimony against it; and if it seem to avail nothing, then leave it and them to the Lord, to do what seems to Him good.

27th. Our evening meetings closed for the season. They have been mostly solid opportunities, in which we have had cause to believe that the Master of all rightly gathered assemblies has been present with us. The gospel has been at times preached, tendering and solemnizing the hearts of many. The young people have been especially desirous to have these meetings held, and their deportment has been becoming the occasion.

May the blessing of the Shepherd of the sheep rest upon them; bring them forward in their various allotments, to his praise, the comfort of the church, and their everlasting salvation, is my sincere desire for them.

Third month 1st. At our mid-week meeting, we had several ministers from other parts, who all kept silence. My mind was favored with some lively feelings and openings on the preciousness of keeping the faith and patience of the saints, even when surrounded by darkness, and there seems little to lead the truly baptized disciple to believe, that Truth will gain the victory. I kept from speaking, not knowing but it might go off, and some others might be put forth; but when it was near time to close the meeting, I was afraid to suppress what appeared to be the putting forth of the Shepherd of the sheep, and accordingly delivered upon the subject, what the Master gave me, as I believed, to communicate; showing that it was Christ alone who can clothe the soul with this faith and patience, and through which He will make every faithful one victorious. The same faith by which the holy ancients quenched the violence of fire, stopped the mouths of lions, and out of weakness were made strong.

Through this faith, we shall be kept relying upon Christ in our lowest state of weakness, and in his time witness Him to be to us the resurrection and the life. So that from season to season, we shall be enabled to adopt the language of the apostle, “Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” There was a covering of solemn silence spread over the meeting; in which the tribulated seed rejoiced a little together, in spirit, and I believe took a little fresh courage to hold on the way.

11th. This afternoon I went with my wife to Springfield; and next morning attended their meeting, being first-day, where we had the company of a large number of young men and young women, most of whom are sober, exemplary Friends.

We attended their meeting on fifth-day; in which it appeared right for me to labor in the love of the gospel, to stir up the easy, lukewarm ones, to a lively zeal on account of the work of their own salvation, the present and eternal interests of their children, where they were entrusted with them, and as they were prepared for it, to come under the weight of the ark of the testimonies.

Fifth month 24th. I thought there was a religious weight over our Monthly Meeting this morning, under which, desires were raised that we might be seasoned with salt; experiencing every root of bitterness eradicated, and put shoulder to shoulder in the Lord's work; so that we might become a body more compacted together, and be made to realize the blessings designed by being associated as a religions society.

28th. First-day. This has been a season of poverty, and destitution of any lively, quickening sense of the Master's presence. Doubts and fears have spread over me, whether the same degrees of Divine energy and power, will be again vouchsafed to us; whether so many favors, slighted and neglected by many, will not occasion the Lord to withhold his visitations very much from us.

Sixth month 1st. My wife and myself went, this morning, to Plymouth Monthly Meeting. It seemed to be our place to encourage the devoted ones, and the visited young people, to hold on, in the good old way, in which our fathers in the Truth walked. The enemy is busy at work to draw us away from close watchfulness over our hearts, and to persuade us that there is little or nothing in our testimony to simplicity and self-denial, and that continual exercise of spirit, in which the outgoings of the mind after ease, is detected. And when he has persuaded us that the gentle convictions of Divine Grace are imaginary, or that it is not necessary to be so strict as our fathers were; then the way will be opened to inculcate doctrines that our Society never believed; as, that immediate revelation has ceased; and thus the indispensable duty of waiting upon the Lord, that we may hear and know his voice, and be instructed immediately, as the sheep of Christ, and led along safely by Him, would be forsaken. It is those who are giving heed to the manifestations of his Spirit in their hearts, that will be prepared to make a right use of the Holy Scriptures. These are not afraid to believe and to receive the testimony of the Holy Scriptures; for they are redeemed from the penalties which they denounce against sin; and they will be made partakers of the precious promises contained in them. “There is now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit; for the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made them free from the law of sin and death.” We dined at the residence of our late friend Hannah Williams.

The calmness and sweetness of spirit we felt there, was like the state of her mind in life, and which, we were informed, was remarkably shown at the hour of death; having nothing to do but to wait the coming of her Lord to take her to Himself; whom she had served faithfully, with her loins girded and light burning; being an example to the believers in watchfulness of spirit, and purity, and circumspection in word and deportment. She was a woman of excellent judgment; being taught in the school of experience under the discipline and instruction of her Divine Master. As she was devoted to Him, and his blessed cause, He endued her with a measure of his wisdom and strength, by which she was enabled to discern between thing and thing; spirit and spirit; and to stand firmly on Christ, the Rock, upon which faithful Friends have ever stood.

15th. My wife feeling her mind drawn to attend Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, held this time at Evesham, we were taken there by a friend. A pretty large company assembled. Ann Bishop spoke early. My mind was arrested with the importance of keeping under suffering for the sake of the blessed Master and his cause, and for our own benefit and preservation.

The expression of the apostle was brought before me, “For unto you it is given, in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for his sake.” It seemed to me, that inward suffering, in a state of close watchfulness, was greatly needed; and that much loss would be sustained, if we were to become a self-active, talking people; and not experience those humbling, preparing baptisms into our own conditions, needed to fit us for usefulness, and to bring us in sympathy with Christ who as the Seed, is pressed down in the hearts of the people, by their worldly thoughts, and desires after things of a perishing nature.

21st. Having concluded to spend a few weeks with our brother and sister Rhoads, we shut up our house, and rode to their pleasant dwelling this afternoon, about twelve miles from Philadelphia.

28th. In calling upon a Friend today, I was much distressed in hearing him express the opinion, that in the present divided feeling in our Society, a separation must take place; because I believe the Head of the Church does not design it should be split and scattered. It appears to me to be a device of the enemy; and cannot take place, unless Friends get off the right ground. If we are willing to suffer for the Truth, and to wait the Lord's time, we shall not only be benefited and deepened by the trials of our day, but He will make away for the Society to rise above the workings of the cruel enemy, and to exalt the precious testimonies He has called us to bear before the nations of the earth; in the purity and dignity of the gospel of Christ.

Oh the need there is for patient, faithful suffering! being willing to go down to the bottom of Jordan, and abide under the weight of deep concern for the ark, and for the preservation of the people; that they may not be scattered from under the wing of the Shepherd and Bishop of souls.

Seventh month 6th. At meeting (Springfield) today, we were favored with the Master's presence, baptizing a number together by his Spirit; in which a qualification was received to show the necessity of keeping upon the watch, with our loins girded and lights burning, waiting for the coming of the Master, so as to open to Him immediately. Such will know Him to gird himself, cause them to sit down to meat, and serve them. It was a tendering, uniting season with some; for which we were thankful. Dined and took tea with our brother, Joseph Evans and his wife; where we felt our spirits at ease, in sweet fellowship with them; they being of those who are living in and under the government and preserving power of Christ.

12th. Attended our own meeting, which is much reduced by great numbers leaving the city during the warm season; it was rather a barren time. Returned to Springfield in the afternoon.

22nd. Went with my wife, and brother J. Rhoads and wife to Birmingham.

23rd. In the meeting at Birmingham, I felt impelled to open the feelings which had come over me, of the famished condition that some were in; yet acknowledging that in times of famine, little benefit might arise from finding fault with one another. Nevertheless, it was at times needful to remind some, that if but a small proportion of the labor bestowed, in laying up the meat that perishes, was exerted to procure that which endures unto everlasting life, which the Son of man will give, for Him has God the Father sealed, professing christians would be in a different condition from what they now are. Our Savior declared, that “Except you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, you have no life in you;” and if there is no life in us, we must be dead; in which state, a profession of religion will avail nothing. It is those who are grafted into Christ, and abide in Him, that partake of the Divine life and virtue which is in Him; these eat of his flesh and drink his blood. But if those who have once been partakers of the good word of life, and of the powers of the world to come, through the blessed operations of Divine grace in their hearts, by unwatchfulness and the influence of the things that perish, have become like dead branches, they cannot bring forth fruit, to the praise of the Great Husbandman.

It is our duty to provide for these tabernacles of clay, as well as to labor for the bread and the water of life; and the great matter is to keep those duties performed in their proper place. The heavens are to be kept above the earth; and this true religion will enable us to do. Many are very industrious in ploughing their fields, sowing, harrowing, or in gathering in the crops with which a bounteous Creator has blessed them; but how is it with the field or the vineyard of the heart? Is the fallow ground there broken up, and the plant of renown flourishing and bringing forth fruit? Does that lively concern which they felt in the beginning of their christian pilgrimage, to know the Divine will to prevail over all in them, day by day, still warm and invigorate their souls to press on in the great work of salvation? It is not once in grace, always in grace; for some are spoken of, who had made shipwreck of faith, and of a good conscience; which they must once have had; and others, who turned the grace of God into lasciviousness, must have felt its power, or they could not be said thus to have fallen away from the grace received.

There were other things opened, under a feeling of my own weakness, and frequent sense of destitution; and with much brotherly tenderness towards those who may have suffered worldly things to dim their vision. My dear wife was enabled, under the spirit of supplication, to plead with the Father of mercies, to renew the extendings of his love and mercy, to those who, in days past, knew his fire to descend and consume the sacrifice upon the altar of their hearts, but which has become nearly smothered; that He would be pleased to fan the spark yet left into a flame; that so there may be a remnant preserved, and a band raised up in this place, to stand for the cause of Christ, and the spreading of his kingdom.

Chapter XXI

1848—1849

Religious Exercises at Home, and in different Meetings within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting.

1848, Seventh month 31st. Went to Middletown this morning, and was at the Monthly Meeting held there. My dear wife spoke to some convicted ones, before whom the Lord had set an open door, and invited them to come out of their thralldom to sin, and enter with the Bridegroom into his rest, from their evil ways and bondage; warning them as they could not open that door, if they rejected the invitation, at a future period when He had risen up and closed it, the answer to their knocks, may be, “I never knew you. Depart from me, you that work iniquity.” It appeared right for me to follow her, with the language of encouragement, to those who had taken up the cross, and entered through the strait gate into the narrow way, to yield themselves to further baptisms and requisitions; that they may be prepared for their showing to Israel, more openly in the Lord's work.

I believed there were those whom He would dignify and make vessels of honor in his house, if they were not marred on the wheel, through their unfaithfulness. My wife appeared in solemn supplication.

Eighth month 1st. It is a precious thing to be brought entirely out of the spirit of revenge; returning good for evil, and seeking the present and everlasting welfare of all. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Endeavor to convince people of their error in the spirit of restoring love, and if they are not converted from the evil of their way, leave them to the Lord.

4th. Returned to our own habitation, and on the 5th, attended our Select Quarterly Meeting.

7th. Today was held the Quarterly Meeting for discipline. Two women Friends were acceptably engaged; one in the ministry, and the other in prayer.

9th. Feeling my mind drawn into sympathy with the small company of Friends composing Abington Select Quarterly Meeting, my wife and myself went to Germantown, and attended it. Tenderness of spirit spread over us, and we were engaged to encourage them to keep the faith, and in the leadings of the love of God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, to visit each other in their respective meetings; which we believed would have a strengthening effect upon visitors and the visited; and in the ordering of Divine wisdom, may be a means of bringing forward in the right way, some who have few to look up to, like fathers and mothers in the Truth.

13th. The morning meeting was silent; but in the afternoon a number of strangers, of both sexes, coming in, after a time, I felt engaged to revive the statement, that in certain places, Jesus did not many mighty works, because of their unbelief; and to declare that to be the cause why there is so little vital religion among many professors of Christianity in this day. They do not believe in the manifestations of the Lord Jesus, by his Spirit in their hearts. They profess to own Him as their Lord and Savior, but deny Him, in refusing to do his will and while they continue in sin, they cannot, in truth, call Him their Savior; seeing no man can call Him Lord but by the Holy Spirit; and those who are turning, their back upon the convictions of the Holy Spirit, cannot experience it to give them faith in the Son of God. Very unlooked for, the spring of the ministry was opened for the benefit of some present.

17th. I went to Woodbury, and was at Salem Quarterly Meeting held there. Hinchman Haines was present, and preached. After him, I felt drawn to open the importance of the young and inexperienced keeping near to Truth, and the friends of Truth; reviving the expressions in Solomon's songs: “Tell me, oh You whom my soul loves, where You feed, and where you make Your flock to rest at noon; for why should I be as one that turns aside by the flocks of Your companions? If you know not, go your way by the footsteps of the flock, and feed your kids beside the shepherd's tents.” My mind was unusually clothed with fervent desire for young and old. That the latter might keep under right exercise of spirit, to draw the young ones to Christ, and that these may keep near to their older Friends; that thus they may be mutually beneficial to each other; follow Christ in bearing his yoke, and experience the Lord's quickening power, to revive his work amongst us.

It appeared to me there were those present who had greatly lost the dew of their youth, and were not now sensible of the humbling power of Divine love, upon their hearts, as they once were; and I was engaged to pray for these, that the visitation might be renewed to them; and that He who saw the harvest was great, and the laborers few, would, if consistent with his will, send forth laborers into his harvest field. In the second meeting, I was also concerned to incite Friends to increased diligence in attending their meetings for worship and discipline, and to be faithful to the gift of God in their hearts therein. Returned home in the afternoon, wrapt up in inward silence and meditation, and though poor and unworthy, felt peaceful.

22nd. Much poverty of spirit has been my portion for days past. Sometimes my mind has been under serious apprehension, respecting a visit to most of the meetings of our Yearly Meeting; and just before our Monthly Meeting, I thought it would be proper to open it to that meeting; but it went off, and I kept it to myself. Like the corn of wheat, it must die out of sight, if it be brought forth into ripe fruit. Those who run without being sent, cannot possibly profit the people. The work is the Lord's. He only has the right to appoint to his servants, their several positions; and He only can enable them to work, and prosper it in their hands.

29th. Burlington Quarterly Meeting coming before me, it appeared to be my place to attend it. I believe the Lord enabled me to declare the way of life and salvation, as it is set forth in the New Testament, and as it is witnessed by all who follow Christ in the regeneration. May we be preserved in a lowly, humble frame of mind; taking the cup of suffering cheerfully, and experiencing the Lord, in his tender mercy, to keep us alive in Him; and to make use of us to arouse transgressors, and bring them to Christ; that we may turn many to righteousness, and in the end be favored to hear the welcome language, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful in a few things, I will make you ruler over many things: enter you into the joy of your Lord.” I came home in a peaceful, comfortable state of mind.

Ninth month 15th. Our Meeting for Sufferings was preserved in much harmony in the transaction of its business. An epistle to the Meeting for Sufferings in London, was read and adopted. Close watchfulness against the insidious workings of a suspicious spirit, which would alienate Friends from each other, and thereby destroy our strength, is very needful. Daily approaches to the throne of Grace, with desires that we may be kept humble, and quick of discerning our own liability to get wrong, is a very profitable and safe condition.

21st. Feeling a gentle intimation to attend Frankford Meeting, I went there this morning. The company was small, and the Lord enabled me to hold forth a warning, to some who had known the work of religion, that they be not entangled with the cares and love of the world, lest they lose their first love, and be found not as willing to forsake all and follow the Lamb whithersoever He leads, as they were in their first convincement.

To others who were often tried with poverty of spirit, and led to mourn over it, the language of encouragement flowed, to keep inward; with their spiritual eye directed to Him whom the heaven of heavens cannot contain, waiting for his salvation. And when He sees their faith has been sufficiently proved, He will preach deliverance to the captive, the opening of the prison to them that are bound. He will give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Several said they were glad of the visit; and I thought it was a season of Divine regard and condescension.

28th. I attended the Philadelphia Monthly Meeting. In that for worship, the designs of the Almighty, respecting individuals, and the secret workings of his power to prepare them to answer these designs, came before me; under which I believed it right to hold forth the language of encouragement to such, to give up faithfully to his manifested will, and they would be led about, and instructed, and kept as the apple of his eye. Souls are as precious now, as in the days of our forefathers; and as He visited them with the Day-Spring from on high, and made many as pillars in his church, so, if yielded to, He would make many now fit for his service, and to become pillars in his church in their day.

Of latter time the spring of the ministry, in our meeting, as regards myself at least, has been much shut up; so that I have mourned over myself, and had fears whether a worldly spirit, or a stupefying lethargy, was not spreading over us. It seems, at times, almost impossible to get under a proper travail of spirit, in which Divine life is felt to arise and quicken the soul; qualifying it to bow in reverence before the Father of mercies, and to put up prayer to Him, in the Spirit that helps the infirmities of those who devotedly wait upon Him. May we be enabled to keep hold of the shield of faith, and to press onward through the difficulties that are to be contended with; looking for the renewed manifestations of the light of the Lord, and keeping the faith, that He will again visit his people, and lift up their heads above the afflictions of this day of secret and sore conflict.

Tenth month 8th. This morning I had an intimation to go to Newton Meeting, which I have had no concern to visit for a long time. It appeared to me while sitting with them, that all the inventions of man, out of the Truth, would fail to produce solid happiness, and a holy serenity to the soul. Nothing could give this state of mind to any, but obedience to the will of God, made known by the clear in-shining of the Light of Christ. I felt a strong and affectionate solicitude for all, that they might entirely yield to its convictions, and be thereby brought out of darkness and cruel bondage, into the liberty of the children of God. A fresh qualification was administered to set before them, many of the truths of salvation, and to labor fervently with them, in the language of persuasion, to give up to the Lord's manifested will. I came home peaceful, poor and empty.

14th. What a sweet feeling spreads over the mind, when through the ever-watchful Shepherd, we are enabled to maintain a steadfast guard over our spirit under provocation, and to stifle the rising disposition to anger and resentment; to suppress even an unkind remark; and to bear, in the meek spirit which the Lord alone can give, whatever is calculated to irritate, even in the small incidents of life. “He that rules his own spirit, is better than he that takes a city.” It is only through humble watchfulness, and secret breathing for preservation, from day to day, that we gain the victory.

16th. I received a letter from a Friend in Great Britain, giving a view of the state of the ministry among Friends there, and the great defection from the life and power of religion among many. It is mournful to reflect upon the state of things in this country and in England, among the members of our religious Society. How the will and contrivance of man, are at work, to manage its concerns, and to govern, instead of the Head of the church. Those who cannot act without the renewed putting forth of the Divine hand, are borne down in some places, and obliged to submit to silent, secret suffering, because they see no way to obtain relief. But surely as they keep a single eye to the Lord, in the faith and patience of the saints, He will hear their cry, sustain them under deep affliction, for his name and cause sake, and in his time, grant deliverance when the horse and his rider will be thrown into the sea. And it will be found, sooner or later, a fearful thing to have been withstanding the Lord's suffering children, turning judgment backward, and exalting that which He has not ordained to be set up.

22nd. In some of our meetings for worship, of latter time, the world seemed to absorb the minds of very many, so that we are in danger of being left by the Head of the church; and without his life-giving presence, what will all our assembling together avail us? A few years ago, we had many exercised, experienced Friends, who were thoroughly acquainted with the nature of true, spiritual worship, and the labor that is indispensable in our meetings, that the spirit and things of the world may be kept out, and the bubblings up of the well of Divine life may be known in every heart. Figuratively speaking, they dug as with their staves in their hands, while the secret breathing of their souls was, “Spring up, oh well, sing you unto it.”

We, who were then much their juniors, did not so much feel the weight of the exercise, while we were favored by the Lord, and partook of the help and travail of their spirits. I have felt engaged to invite the attention of the people to the nature of the worship which our Lord opened to the woman of Samaria, which is to be performed in spirit and in truth; and which must consequently be between God, who is a Spirit, and the soul of man. And if we are a worshipping assembly, every one must be engaged for himself in this worship. It does not consist in meeting together, and sitting in silence, though these are necessary preparatives to public, spiritual worship; but every one must wait upon the Lord, to experience Him to come into the heart, and give ability to ask aright for living bread, and for those things we need, in the way of Divine instruction and help; and thereby be prepared to return thanksgiving and praise, for his condescension and goodness. A word of warning was also given to the young people, to keep the watch wherever they go, that they may not lose the little strength they have gained by faithfulness; for Satan is constantly seeking to destroy the good work. It is a source of grief to the laborers, to behold plants dwindling, and not bearing fruit, over whom they had watched; and whom they had secretly desired, might become fellow-helpers in the Lord.

24th. Attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting. Some have need to be more emptied of themselves, and of their own imaginary wisdom, and understanding in spiritual things; so that they might be prepared to be filled with the Lord's riches and strength out of the true treasury. In emptiness there is fulness, and in nothingness the possession of all things. “As poor,” said an eminent apostle, “yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.” And to his immediate disciples, our Lord said, “Blessed be you poor; for yours is the kingdom of God.” May we all be more and more willing to abide under the Lord's hand, in these stripping, emptying dispensations, which He knows are necessary for us; that we may be made and preserved vessels, sanctified and fit for the Master's use.

25th. We had hope, in answering the Queries in our Monthly Meeting, that unity is not upon the decline amongst us, and that the evil practice of carrying tales from house to house, in a detracting way, does not subsist amongst us to any great degree; yet were we individually kept under a right exercise of mind, there would be more true fellowship experienced. It was thought to be an interesting meeting. The sentiments of several were called forth respecting the caution, that ought to be maintained, on entering into business, not to put at hazard the property of others. The Truth led our fathers to labor with their own hands, in some instances, to procure the means to purchase even the tools they needed in their business, and to move on slowly, that they might not enter into contracts which they could not comply with; and thereby bring reproach on their religious profession. If people are honest and industrious, they can obtain, without improper risks, what is necessary for their comfortable subsistence; and they will prove, that “Godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.”

29th. A silent meeting this morning. In the afternoon some of James Naylor's expressions, near the close of his life, were revived; respecting the spirit that outlives all wrath and contention; that takes its kingdom by entreaty, and keeps it by lowliness of mind. This is the spirit of the Lamb, who takes away the sin of the world, and gives strength to keep the faith and patience of the saints. He that rules his own spirit, is better than he that takes a city; he will have peace in himself, and spread it among those who are about him.

30th. The committees appointed by the several Monthly Meetings in this city, on the subject of reopening meetings, to be held during the approaching winter, on the evening of first-days, met this morning, and experienced a measure of the cementing fellowship of the Spirit of the blessed Head of the church; bringing us under a travail for the promotion of the cause of Truth. Although we are clothed with weakness, a sincere desire was felt, that the little strength we have; may be used in the Lord's fear and under his direction, that we may experience an increase thereof; and the feet of inquirers after good, may be turned into the way to Zion. With much unanimity, we agreed to propose the holding of such meetings, and Friends rejoiced that they were so united; considering it as an evidence that Divine regard and kindness were still round about us.

Eleventh month 14th. Last fifth-day, the 9th, my wife and myself, went to Westfield, New Jersey, and attended their usual mid-week meeting; in which, after a season of silent waiting, we had some service. On sixth-day morning, we rode over to Evesham Monthly Meeting; in which my wife labored to draw some of those present, off from the inordinate pursuit of the world, into a love of the kingdom of God, and the righteousness thereof. Attended the Monthly Meeting of Upper Evesham, on 7th day. In this, and in that of Evesham, there was no business to claim the attention of Friends, although the meetings are both pretty large. We were at their first-day meeting.

In all these, the Seed seemed under oppression, and there is not that growth in the Truth, which ought to be evident, where so many temporal and spiritual blessings have been bestowed. Oh, the benumbing effects of the world, and the seemingly necessary engagements in lawful business! Unless some calamity is brought over us, or the Lord condescends to awaken powerfully the stupefied and worldly-minded members of our Society, it looks probable, that many will be sunk into total unconcern about their soul's everlasting welfare, until the last trump of God shall awaken them to appear before the judgment seat of Christ. Woful must then be the state of such pretenders to belief in the doctrines of Christianity; whose lives show that they are worshipping and serving the creatures, instead of the Creator; who only is blessed and worthy of all adoration and praise forevermore. We came to Haddonfield in the afternoon, and next-day attended their Monthly Meeting.

26th. Our first-day meeting has been a season of inward exercise in silence. There was little caught with all our toil; but we remembered Him, who directed his disciples to give the multitude food, because He would not send them away fasting, lest they should faint by the way; and we trusted that He was not unmindful of our needs.

29th. I went this morning to the Western Meeting. The work of the ministry does not feel to me to be any less fearful to engage in, than it did in the beginning. It is a mercy, when we are favored, to get through with the work to which we are called in any meeting, without saying what we should not. The only safe ground to stand and act upon, is humble dedication to the Lord; not seeking to be put forth in words, but waiting in the quiet habitation, until the time comes to feel the quickening power, and the authority or direction to stand up. The creature and the openings made, are often baptized into death. But if the Lord has a service for his devoted children, He will prepare, make the way clear, and give utterance, often to their admiration, and sometimes, humiliation.

He helped me this day to bear testimony to the indispensable need of the inward work of religion, which is begun and carried on in the heart by the Spirit of Christ; and that this is a daily work, from the beginning of it in early life, to the close of our earthly pilgrimage. Buy the truth, by parting with all it calls for, and sell it not. If any man barter it away, for the friendships of the world, the last state of that man is worse than the first. A solemnity spread over the meeting.

Twelfth month 9th. Our meeting this morning was large; in which the doctrine of immediate Divine revelation, as the source of a knowledge of the will of God concerning us; of the strength to do it, and of the true understanding of the Holy Scriptures, so that we may be really benefitted by them, was held forth; under the fresh openings and authority of Him who gives gifts to men, and the qualification to occupy them to his honor. A Friend, of religious feeling, expressed his unity; there being, he said, some things to which the doctrine particularly applied, of which I did not know.

25th. Last evening our first-day meeting was not as large as those heretofore held, probably owing to the dampness of the weather. Although we had ministers who were strangers, it was held in silence; under, I hope, some travail of spirit, that the Lord would teach and feed his people Himself. When He anoints and puts forth in the work of the ministry, no man or woman has the right to hold back, or to hinder the work but if, for fear of the people being scattered, or discouraged, any undertake to prepare and offer in their own will and wisdom, the life is burdened in the true worshippers, and the disposition to hear words is fed and strengthened in those who have itching ears, and whose dwelling is in the outer court. May those upon whom the cause heavily rests, be kept in the Lord's hand, watching against every device of the enemy; who is constantly seeking to frustrate the good intended for them, and to divide and destroy the flock. How fearful is our situation; and how needful is constant application to the throne of Grace and Mercy, for Divine strength and preservation.

1849, First month 11th. It has seemed to me that our preservation will consist in being individually obedient in all things, both to do and to suffer, according to the will of God concerning ourselves; and as He manifests it to us by his Spirit in the heart. To look to and rely upon the ever-blessed and all-powerful Head of the church, to guide and keep us as a people, and to support his own cause Himself. He alone can do it; and we have need to be upon our guard that we do not attempt to take the work into our hands; thinking that we see exactly how the Society should be delivered out of its difficulties, and the cause of Christ be carried over all opposition.

I believe it is also very necessary to cherish feelings of tenderness and much forbearance, for those who do not see eye to eye with ourselves; that as we look for mercy at the hand of our Heavenly Father, we may be careful not to indulge in a spirit of enmity towards them; but endeavor to bear each other's burdens, that we may fulfill the law of Christ; which is a law of compassion and love. As we endeavor daily to dwell in this spirit, there will be seasons wherein we shall be enabled to draw very near to the throne of Grace, and pour forth supplications for ourselves, and for the church, that He will spare his people, and not give his heritage to reproach, that unbelievers in his goodness and immediate power, may not rule over them.

23rd. I have passed through a state of great strippedness for several weeks past. Such dispensations are truly humiliating; and though a great trial to endure, bring those who dare not look for relief from any source than the Lord alone, to bow very low, and endeavor to draw near to Him, with their hearts panting after the living God, as the hart pants after the water brook. How evident to them is it at such seasons, that they are nothing; that there is no good but what comes from Christ; no power to do good but what He inspires the soul with, and that it is not at our will to command the seasons when they shall be dispensed. This must be waited for in abasement and abhorrence of self; by which we are taught that Christ alone can carry on the work in us and for us, and qualify us when He pleases, to hand the bread that He gives, to others.

On first-day morning, the 21st, at our own meeting, for about one hour, it seemed almost impossible to exclude thoughts on subjects, which had nothing to do with Divine worship. When they were cast out, they seemed almost at once to return, though there was a struggle to overcome. But after a time, when the Master drew near, deliverance was experienced, and a little ability was granted, to testify experimentally, that there is no spiritual life by which the soul is quickened and made alive unto God, but that which comes from Christ; who is the way, the truth and the life.

At the evening meeting, my mind was introduced into much feeling with the young people, on account of the many and various temptations to, which they are exposed; and the sad consequences of quenching the Spirit and its convictions in their hearts. I was led to remind them that there was no stopping-point in the two ways; in one or other of which they must be walking; the broad road that leads to destruction, or the narrow way that leads to everlasting life. If we keep in the latter, it will, as the just man's path, shine more and more unto the perfect day; but in the former, we shall wander further and further from the Heavenly Father's house, and grow darker and more hardened in transgression and sin. They were warned of the inevitable danger, in this way, of finally slighting and despising religion and serious persons, and of falling into practices which they had never intended to adopt. They could not decide beforehand how far they would go; but might become familiarized with things, which at one time they would have abhorred. After having come under Satan's influence, they have no power to release themselves from his grasp: nothing but the almighty arm of the Savior can deliver them; and should they continue to deny and reject Him, they would have no ground to hope for his help. Parents were also reminded that the deviations of the children were, at times, in part to be attributed to their lack of firmness and faithfulness. That, like Eli, they might warn, but they had not sufficiently restrained them. The young people were tenderly expostulated with, and affectionately entreated, that when favored with the visitations of Divine light, showing them where they are, and to what they are hastening, to make a stand, turn their back on the tempter, and follow Christ; who would take them out of the broad road, and introduce them through the strait gate into the narrow way; where they would enjoy peace and substantial happiness; grow in grace; and in their language and conduct, invite others to follow them as they followed Christ. We had good reason to bless his holy name, for regarding our low estate, and lifting up once more the light of his countenance upon us. I hope there were impressions received, which will not be soon effaced.

24th. The wing of ancient goodness was mercifully spread over us today in our Monthly Meeting, both in that for worship and for discipline. It felt to me that the Lord in mercy drew near to his suffering, and often disconsolate children, and gave renewed evidence, that, as they were faithful, He would not forsake them; but would turn their captivity as the streams of the south; and by the might of his power, raise them up above their enemies. They were encouraged to keep to their exercises, and they would be strengthened and bound together; every one having his station allotted him by the Captain of salvation. It was the time for answering all the Queries, and the meeting was preserved under a very solid and gathered feeling; and, I trust, some experienced it to be good for them to be there. Robert Scotton was with us, and had a word of encouragement for us in the first meeting; also our beloved friend Margaret Hutchinson, who feelingly exhorted us to be faithful unto death, and the Lord would give us a crown of life.

29th. To two young Friends who called at our house, I felt drawn, in tender affection, to hold up the great importance of being brought into and walking in that path, which the vulture's eye has not seen, nor the lion's whelp trodden therein; neither shall any ravenous beast go up thereon; it shall be called a way—a way of holiness, and the ransomed and redeemed shall walk therein; and as they are faithful to Him, who casts up and leads into this way, they shall come to Zion, with songs, and everlasting joy shall be upon their heads. They were invited to be obedient to Him who anoints the spiritual eye to see this path, that they might experience Him to take up his abode with them, and to join Himself to them in a perpetual covenant that would never be broken on his part, while they kept faithful to their Lord and Master. May they be brought into this covenant, and be made preachers of righteousness, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation.

Second month 3rd. Our Select Quarterly Meeting was a time of inward affliction. Oh! that self may be made of no reputation; and that a fervent travail of soul may be maintained before the Lord, that everything that would wound the hidden life, and mar the unity which should prevail, may be kept out of our hearts. There are seasons in which we feel peculiarly left to ourselves, no doubt for the trial of our faith, and to make us sensible of our nothingness; and if we rightly endure these dispensations, they will prepare us, like vessels emptied and cleansed, to be again filled with riches from the Lord's storehouse.

5th. Our Quarterly Meeting for business was rather a favored time; I think there was an exercise in the second meeting for the welfare of the members, and that the authority of Christ was measurably maintained.

11th. This has been a day of deep, inward conflict, without being able to attain much, to comfort the tossed mind. If in our religious meetings we are not unitedly engaged to labor for the meat that endures unto everlasting life, the spirit of antichrist will have the ascendency in many, who will be far from performing that worship which is in spirit and in truth. Individual travail of soul is indispensable to the life of a meeting, and to the preservation of the members as branches of the true Vine. Although man, by his own efforts merely, cannot keep himself under this exercise, yet he is bound to seek for Divine help, to enable him to wait upon the Lord for the appearance of his life-giving presence, and to believe that it is indispensable to his life and growth in the Truth. When we are permitted to toil all night, and to feel, at last, as if we had taken nothing, and fears assail us, whether we shall not be altogether left by the Master, it is a favor to remember that there is a portion of suffering to be filled up for the body's sake: and if in this way, we are participating in it, to a small degree, it is enough; that in this travail of spirit, we may be made ministers of life to other seeking ones.

28th. The great contrast between the legal and gospel dispensations, was a little opened. One says, “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” The other, “Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you.” If in time of peace, we are seeking to lay waste our friends, how are we to love enemies in time of war? The whisperer, who is going about like an insidious serpent, will separate very friends. Where any are thus seeking, without any foundation, to whisper something against a friend, to destroy his standing and usefulness, how can they love enemies, and bless them that curse them, or do good to them that hate them? Where the gospel and its nature are brought into the heart, our Lord will enable his children to follow his example, in doing good, and when any are seeking to injure us, to say in sincerity, “Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.” It is only as this spirit is lived in, that we can experience the love of God to flow in our souls; and as it prevails and sweetens our hearts, the true love for the brethren and the precious fellowship which has often subsisted in our religious Society, will be restored; the bones that have been broken will rejoice.

Third month 28th. B. H. and J. S. of Ohio, were at our Monthly Meeting today. Friends were comforted by their company, and B. H.'s services. We have had silent meetings for several weeks. This morning the spring of the ministry, was a little opened in some others also, and warning was sounded in the ears of those who are putting their trust in outward things, and turning the back upon the clear manifestations of the Holy Spirit in their own souls.

Fourth month 1st. Pretty soon after rising this morning, I felt a pointing to go to the Arch Street Meeting, being first-day; where I think I have not been, on that day of the week, for several years. Before I left my chamber, the declaration recorded in the Psalms was brought very livingly to my remembrance: “Ask of me and I shall give you the heathen for your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession. You shall break them with a rod of iron; you shall dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.” It appeared clear to me, that the Almighty Father would, in his time, give to his beloved Son, the kingdoms of this world, and Satan would be put under foot; and a cloud of discouragement was in some degree dispersed. At the meeting, I was led to speak of the doctrine and duty of inward, reverent, silent waiting before the Lord, as of essential importance to the growth of the true believer. That no man can be a true follower of Christ without it; for if he be one of his disciples, he will feel bound, day by day, and oftener, to wait upon the Lord for the renewal of his strength. It was practiced by the holy ancients; who sat upon their watch-tower, and waited to see what the Lord would say unto them, and what they should answer when they were reproved.

In this humble, reverent frame, He often condescends to show us our weakness, or something wherein we are not coming up to the pattern of perfection, which our Lord set before us. Friends were invited into this state; wherein they would be raised above the wrath of their enemies, and be enabled to condemn every tongue that rises up in judgment with them.

Chapter XXII

1849

Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Causes of Discouragement—Visit at the Seashore, and Reflections on the Dangers attending Visits at such places—Visits to different Meetings—Death of Sarah Emlen—State of our Religious Society—Margaret Hutchinson—Visit to Muncy.

1849, Fourth month 14th. Our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held this morning. Several strangers attended, but said little. After the answers to the Queries on the ministry were read, it came weightily and very unexpectedly upon me, that the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ was one of the most important services we could be engaged in: that one of his ancient apostles speaking of his ministry, said, “I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ;” and that this remained to be the only source and authority of all true gospel ministry, down to this day. However unlooked for the motion was, I felt constrained to rise, and as I might be enabled, to speak upon this weighty subject. It came before me, also, that nothing in the form of a religious duty, could be of much more prejudice to the church, than a ministry of mere words, without the putting forth of the Head of the church. That persons who had once received the gift from Him who ascended up on high; and in the beginning, had exercised it in the life and power of Christ, might gradually fall into a habit of uttering words, that were not a savor of life to the living; and some who never had been entrusted with a gift, might undertake to officiate in this way. Such a ministry seems as if it would strike down to the ground the living members, and clothe them with mourning; instead of comforting and strengthening them. Some of us had lived long enough, to remember many living and deeply baptized ministers, who knew what it was to go down into suffering with their Lord, and to remain there his appointed time; until they knew Him, who is the resurrection and the life, to quicken and enable them to bring up stones of memorial. These were a comfort to the church, and the living gathered as round about them in spirit, supporting their hands in the work; and thus all were strengthened together. But what a change has taken place amongst this people. The importance of having discerning elders, who can distinguish between the true and the false; and under the influence and authority of the spirit of sound judgment, are led to give the living child to the right mother, was also spoken to.

Where such go to a brother, in the meekness of wisdom, and the gentleness of Christ, and under a right exercise for his preservation, unburden their minds, when they feel that a minister is losing in life and power, it is a great favor to such; for which, if they are in a proper spirit, they will feel thankful. It is also important that true elders be faithful in opening to those who, having received no gift in the ministry, mistake their services in the church, and burden Friends with their communications; not only that such may be prevented from bringing the ministry into disrepute, but that they may be turned into the channel of service which the Lord designs them for. Our friend Samuel Bettle, Sr., said, that the care of elders and the proper hearing of them by ministers, was a practice that the Society had always observed; and that it was in this way the different members of the church edified one another. Several other Friends expressed their unity with what was delivered, and the authority of Truth prevailed in good measure over the meeting.

On the 16th, the Yearly Meeting for the general affairs of the church began, and continued until the close of the 20th. The business was conducted with harmony, excepting the discussion which arose on a report prepared by the Meeting for Sufferings, on the division that had taken place in New England Yearly Meeting, which was objected to by some of the members. But the more solid and experienced part of the meeting, united with it; and it was finally concluded to adopt it, and to furnish each body, in that Yearly Meeting, with a copy. Many Friends thought that the meeting was much favored with the overshadowing of the good presence of the Head of the church. When a proposition from New York Yearly Meeting, to hold a conference of “representatives of the Society,” came up for consideration, the meeting decided with great quietness, that the way did not open to join in with the measure. Nothing authorizes a man to speak to the weighty matters of the church, but the putting forth of the blessed Head of the church. There must be a proper exercise to prepare to speak in the humble spirit and authority of Truth. If this ground is not kept, our religious meetings will become mere debating associations; and learning, wit and worldly influence will finally govern and decide; and thus the character of a church of Christ will be lost. We shall not be of his sheep, who know his voice, and follow Him, and who refuse to follow the voice of a stranger, because they know not the voice of strangers.

Fifth month 6th. May the Lord never forsake us as a people, but if needful, by the revelation of his righteous judgments, bring us down, make us and keep us his humble, devoted followers; that we may be under his government, and made use of by Him, to spread his blessed and glorious kingdom in the earth.

20th. Our meetings for worship have often been laborious; in silent waiting and struggling to keep the mind from wandering. Yet at seasons, a little hope and consolation, as from the nether springs, have been secretly furnished; and sometimes through the ministry. In the morning, being first-day, I was constrained to testify, that where the eye was kept single to Christ, the whole body would, at times, be full of light. This could only be known as we are obedient to whatever He requires.

Light, and love to God, are increased by faithfully following Christ; until it becomes easy to do his will; which is then our meat and drink. Satan stands at our right hand, to tempt and to destroy; but these humble followers of the Lamb, are immediately warned against his temptations; and if their eye is single to Christ, and they resist the devil, he flees from them; and thus they obtain the victory.

Sixth month 10th. This has been a day of discouragement; little being obtained that gave direct evidence of Divine approbation and regard; and there are now very few who can speak a word of comfort to those that are weary. Such dispensations administer the sentence of death, not to trust in ourselves, or in others; but teach us to look to and wait for his appearance, who raises the dead. I read several letters contained in a collection of Sarah Lynes Grubb's, lately published in England.

They show the workings of a spirit that is drawing Friends from the inward, spiritual experience of the religion of the Lord Jesus, and transferring the thoughts to that which He did for us, without us, and to a literal study and knowledge of the Holy Scriptures. We have always believed in the truth and Divine authority of the Scriptures, and that no doctrine or practice, which is incompatible with them, is to be received: that it is through the sacrifice of Christ on Calvary, pardon and reconciliation are obtained, and the gift of the Holy Spirit procured; yet all will avail comparatively little, unless we co-operate with his Spirit in our hearts; experiencing Him to prepare them by his baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, to be tabernacles, sanctified for Him to dwell in. Thus only can we know Him to be in us, “The hope of glory,” the Author and finisher of our faith, and of every good thought, word and work, that is brought forth in us.

15th. We had a large Meeting for Sufferings, in which the business that claimed our attention, was conducted with much satisfaction. The consideration of slavery, and the African slave trade, afresh impressed the minds of Friends, with a sense of the cruelties, and great violation of the spirit of Christianity, and of the unquestionable rights of men, attending this horrible and most iniquitous system; and the committee having these subjects in charge, were encouraged to renew the consideration whether there is any step that could be now advantageously taken, to support and spread our testimony against these great evils.

Seventh month 4th. The Asiatic cholera has been in our city about two weeks. Some appear to feel alarm, and fear it may spread; but it has visited so many places, in the villages particularly along or near water courses, that but few comparatively are leaving the city on account of it. The instances of persons dying with but few hours illness, and of course with little warning, are indeed fearful, and, at times, bring sensations of awfulness over the mind.

I have found it my place, very much, of latter times, to keep silence in our meetings; but this morning, the impulse was felt to invite the members to closer watchfulness, that they might escape the temptations of the enemy; and not only on that account, but also because the pestilence that walks in darkness, was abroad in the world, and none knew what a day or an hour might bring forth. If all were engaged to prepare a habitation for the mighty God of Jacob to dwell in, we should be prepared to meet whatever trials might be permitted to overtake us.

8th. The lack of that unity, by which the exercised members are made a strength, and an encouragement to one another, has been much felt. The Society is now suffering great loss from this cause; and until the unity of the Spirit, which it has known in time past, is restored, weakness will be our lot. The various members of the body are designed to be helpful to each other; but if they are disjointed, there will be much suffering, and the work which the church is called to perform, will be impeded.

What inconceivable injury is inflicted, by influential persons getting out of their places, and undertaking to do what the Head never directed them to do. We cannot restore the precious harmony as soon as we may see the need of it. The Lord alone can do it, and we must wait upon Him, and bear the suffering which is our lot, until in mercy, He again arises, and commands deliverance for Jacob, his suffering, travailing seed.

10th. My brother Thomas having gone to Cape Island, on account of his infirm health, and it being necessary that one of his brothers should be with him, I came down this morning.

12th. Living with a class of people, whose habits and opinions are very different from those of Friends, is trying. There being nothing like seriousness among most of them, we seem to be in each other's way. Unless Friends keep steadily upon their watch in such places, they are in danger of being leavened with the spirit such persons live in, and gradually falling into their manners, and imitating their changeable fashions in dress. The amusements which are prepared for the light spirits here, are a strong temptation to young people; especially, when they are not watched over by consistent parents, under a proper religious concern themselves, and who would restrain them from resorting to such entertainments. It seems as if some felt themselves freed from proper restraint, and at liberty to indulge in frivolity. In this way they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame. Such are evil examples to others. The kingdom of Satan is gaining ground in this land, and if those who consider themselves lovers of religion, slacken their watchfulness, and their resistance to wrong things, the tide of corruption must gain a powerful ascendency over the morals of the people at large. I consider it dangerous for religious people, to be long mingled with irreligious, or light persons, on terms of courtesy and familiarity. They are in danger of being leavened with their spirit, of losing their strength, and then falling in with something that will grieve the Holy Spirit, and wound their own souls; and when once wounded, they may never recover, but go halting all their days. Very many are ashamed of the simplicity of the cross. Some who may be pretty staid among their friends at home, and yet not very firm against the current of fashion, and libertinism, may be thus drawn into it; and at such places, lay aside the Quaker character and manners, almost altogether; thereby bringing reproach upon the name and cause of Christ.

Those who are enemies to religion, and ready to disseminate their poisonous opinions, are often found in these places of public resort; where they put on great politeness, and blandness of manner, to insinuate themselves more effectually into the esteem of strangers. They often carry an exterior of great kindness, and interest in the accommodation of others; by which, unwary young people may be attracted to them, and led to think, that where such apparently disinterested good-will exists, the principles cannot be dangerous. To send young people where they will mingle with such, exposes them to receive a hurtful bias, which it may be extremely difficult to eradicate, and which may be used by Satan to destroy their faith in the christian religion, or hinder them from giving up to walk in the path of self-denial. We cannot expect, while in this world, to avoid all interaction with men who have little or no religious scruples; but the less of it, the better. Many parents who have permitted their children to associate with the gay and the frivolous, have finally found their sons and daughters had a total disrelish for plain and unfashionable company. The gay world, which lies in wickedness, has stolen away their hearts from their Savior; they become dissatisfied with that which is serious, and restrictive, and are soon prepared to leave the Society, of which they were birthright members, to become votaries of the world.

17th. I have passed some of the time here in reading the letters of that extraordinary woman, the late Sarah Lynes Grubb. She was an instrument peculiarly prepared by the Lord Almighty, to uphold and to spread the doctrines and testimonies of the christian religion, as promulgated by George Fox, R. Barclay, and other Friends, in the rise of our religious Society. The reliance of some, among Friends, upon human talents, without waiting upon the Lord, to receive from Him ability and authority for every good word and work, occasioned her much suffering and anxiety; especially, in relation to its effect on the true welfare of the Society, and the blessed cause given it to uphold. In this exercise, she appears to have labored much alone for several years; but when called upon to advocate the cause of her Divine Master, she was plain and thorough in her testimony; especially, against all the efforts used by some to change the faith of Friends; often expressing the belief, that such would, in time, be scattered; and that a righteous seed would be preserved, that shall again flourish.

18th. Another brother coming down to stay with Thomas, I returned home.

22nd. The cholera has been in our city several weeks, twelve to thirty dying daily with the fearful disease.

26th. In the night season, I lay sometime awake, under mournful feelings; death being abroad, summoning many to their everlasting home. But as I looked towards the Lord Almighty, in his holy temple, endeavoring to rely upon Him, the language was sweetly revived: They that trust in the Lord, shall not be confounded, but they shall be as Mount Zion, that cannot be removed; and ability was mercifully granted to put my trust in my blessed Heavenly Father, and safely to repose upon his goodness, and unfailing compassionate regard towards me, a poor unworthy creature.

31st. I received information of the decease of Sarah Emlen. This dear Friend was an acceptable minister, and had been much dedicated to the Lord's service. She, and her ministerial labors, will doubtless be much missed in the church. The removal of faithful laborers at this day of close conflict and proving, adds to the mournful feelings with which many are now clothed; but it is no time to cast away our confidence in Boundless Mercy and compassion. The Lord's arm is not shortened, nor his ear grown heavy; but I believe we may safely conclude, that after purging and humbling his people, He will arise in his might, dissipate the clouds, and again give precious gifts to sons and daughters.

Eighth month 6th. Mary Carpenter, a member of Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, having deceased, I felt my mind drawn in sympathy to go to the house, and sit with the connections and friends. The expression, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints,” came before me; and under the constraining influence of Heavenly Love, I was led to testify, that it was a blessed gathering of the sanctified in Christ Jesus, to their everlasting mansion among the saints in light; and to declare my belief, that if those who are left in this state of probation, follow them as they followed Christ, walking by the same rule and minding the same thing, they will be also prepared by the Holy Spirit, to receive precious gifts; and the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel given Friends to support, will not be permitted to fall to the ground in this city. It was a tendering, comforting opportunity, that ended in peace.

Our Quarterly Meeting, which met this day, was held in solemn silence; which led me to think, that while we can hold our religious meetings under such solemnity, we are not deserted by the Gracious Head of the Church. May we be preserved in reverent, humble waiting before Him, and with loins girded and lights burning, do his blessed will on all occasions. A concern for the welfare of members of the meeting on the other side of the mountains, spread over us, and a few Friends were separated to make them a visit, in the love of the gospel, for their strength and encouragement.

15th. Went with my dear wife to Salem Select Quarterly Meeting, held at Woodbury; which is in a very reduced state. Several of the members were absent today, occasioned by the death of Mary Shepard, of Greenwich, who had been but a few years acknowledged as a minister, and was well esteemed by those who were acquainted with her, in the exercise of her gift. Our condition as a religious body calls for deep indwelling with the Master, and serious enquiry what He would have every one to do; that each may know the work of salvation to be going on with the day, and receive ability to build up the waste places.

16th. In the forepart of the Quarterly Meeting, our beloved friend Sarah Hillman, was engaged in acceptable testimony to the unfailing goodness of our Heavenly Father towards his children, even when their faith may seem ready to fail. He changes not. It was reviving and strengthening to the tribulated followers of Christ. Although I felt low, yet after a time of waiting, I was constrained to arise with the query, “When the Son of man comes, shall he find faith on the earth?” When He comes into the hearts of many who profess his holy religion, will He find that living faith, which is the saints' victory over the world, the flesh and the devil? A mere belief in the doctrines of the New Testament, without obedience to the inwardly revealed will of God, will avail but little. There is a faith that overcomes the world, and there is a faith that is overcome by the world. Many who have a plain outside, are seeking to become rich, and straining all their powers to accumulate wealth, that they may be great in the world, and receive honor from men; but these are stumbling blocks in the way of serious enquirers after the Truth; and they are burdens to the living members of the Church of Christ.

Even worldly people can often discover where the substance and life are lacking; and such bring our religious profession into disrepute. They were solemnly called upon to renounce the world, and make ready for the period when the cry will be sounded in their ear, “Behold the Bridegroom comes, go you out to meet him.” The gospel was preached to the poor, and the dear young people called upon to yield to the visitations of Divine love, and give up their hearts wholly to the government of their Savior.

Ninth month 30th. This has been a day of serious thoughtfulness upon the state of our Society; so great change has taken place in the number of aged, experienced members, through removal by death. The unsettlement produced by the promulgation of unsound principles, has prevented growth in the Truth in many, and it seems as if the labor which has been bestowed, has done little more than contribute to keep some young plants from entirely dwindling and falling away. Comparatively few show themselves on the Lord's side, by taking an active part in the affairs of the church, under his constraining power; and this makes heavy work for those who are bound to the law of their God, and his testimony to the life and spirituality of the gospel dispensation. The unity and true fellowship which pertain to membership in the body of Christ do not subsist amongst Friends as they once did. It seems as if nothing but dying daily, and waiting in resignation of soul before the Lord, for him to arise, and work by his mighty power, can do away the divided feelings. We cannot remove them ourselves; and some must be given up to reproach, who may be employed as between the living and the dead, for staying the plague. If the love of Christ did really abound in us; that love in which He laid down his precious life for the salvation of souls, we should be willing to enter into suffering and sympathy one with another; and there would be no disposition to listen to, nor to spread reports, unfavorable to those who are standing for the faith of the gospel.

That true heavenly love would lead us to pray for each other; to keep close in spirit to the servants of the same Lord; holding up their hands, and encouraging them in the work whereunto He has appointed them. Hereby Satan would be disappointed in his efforts to destroy the flock; and Friends being banded together in a united and living travail for the prosperity of Zion, every member keeping his and her place in the body, the Lord would not only bless the provision of Zion, and satisfy her poor with bread, but his work would prosper in our hands, and sons and daughters would be brought from the east and the west to sit down in the kingdom of the dear Son of God; and thereby the enlargement of our borders would take place; by which the burden-bearers and standard-bearers would be increased.

The removal of our aged and beloved friend, Margaret Hutchinson, who has long stood as a lively, acceptable minister in our meeting, has left a blank at the head of it, which is sensibly felt. Her communications were mostly short, uttered with fear and trembling; but raising the life among us. Her appearances in supplication were much of the same character; solemn and impressive; proceeding from the constraining power of Christ, and under reverence and awfulness in approaching the Divine Majesty of heaven and earth. How fathers and mothers in the unchangeable Truth have been taken from us in the last forty years! How soon the same merciful and long-suffering Head may see fit to supply their places, we cannot foresee. None can do it but Himself, by his wonder-working power. But it is our duty to wait upon Him in faith, and when qualified therefor, put up our prayers that He will restore judges as at the first, and counsellors as at the beginning.

Tenth month 1st. This afternoon I attended the burial of Wm. Cooper, from his late residence, near Camden, N. J. After some time of silence, I felt engaged to preach the doctrine of life and salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ; both as he is a Mediator, glorified at the right hand of the Father, with the glory which he had with him before the world was, and as he is appearing by his Spirit in the hearts of all mankind; to give every one a sense of his fallen state, while living according to the lusts and appetites of the carnal mind; and inciting them to repentance and the forsaking of sin. To those who receive Him, he will give power to become the sons of God; their sins being forgiven and washed away, for the sake of that most satisfactory sacrifice, which he offered of Himself, without the gates Jerusalem. As they follow him faithfully, bearing the daily cross, and despising the shame, they will be made partakers of the Divine nature; putting on the Lord Jesus Christ, and no longer making provision for the lusts of the flesh; and having confessed Him before men, they will be accepted in Him the Beloved, and acknowledged by Him in the presence of his Father and the holy angels.

12th. Our Quarterly Meeting having appointed a committee to visit Muncy Monthly Meeting, and its branches, four of them left Philadelphia in the cars for Pottsville, near the head of the Schuylkill River, about ninety-one miles from the city, which we reached about one o'clock; dined there, and took stage for Danville, on the north branch of the Susquehanna, about thirty-six miles from this place. The road crosses several mountainous ridges, very much through a coal and woody country, from the mines in which, thousand of tons of the former, are sent annually to Philadelphia. We got into Danville about twelve o'clock at night, and being fatigued, we soon retired to bed.

13th. Rose refreshed, and after breakfasting and walking in the town, we set out, with carriage and horses, procured here for our accommodation, and rode to Greenwood, where we put up at our friend D. M.'s. The weather was fine, and the road good, and we were kindly received and entertained.

14th. First-day. Some notice having been spread, a pretty large company, composed of the few Friends belonging to the meeting, and their neighbors, assembled; and although it did not feel to me to be a very quickening time, yet through Divine kindness, ability was received to preach Christ crucified without the gates of Jerusalem, as the way to the Father; the only name under heaven, given among men, whereby we must be saved, now glorified with the Father, and appearing by his light, grace or good spirit, in the heart, to destroy the works of Satan in man, and to bring in everlasting righteousness in place thereof. The meeting was solid, and I hope good impressions were made.

In the afternoon we had a pleasant ride over the Muncy hills, the road being very good; and near dusk got to the residence of J. Haines, where we met with a hospitable reception. I had occasional conversation with Jesse Haines, his father, a minister, now in his ninety-fourth year; whose faculties appear to be strong, and his religious sensibility quick and clear.

16th. In the morning, while sitting by Jesse Haines, he remarked that he expected we had been sent here by a higher power than the Quarterly Meeting, and my desire is, he said, that the people may receive the engrafted word. I replied, our desire was that the quickening power might be renewedly felt, and something known of being raised into newness of life. We set out pretty early for Elklands; some part of the mountain road was rough and fatiguing, but we reached the settlement before it was quite dusk, and were made welcome at J. McCarty's, by several of his children, who reside with him.

17th. Rode five miles to their Preparative Meeting. The weather was wet; and the stirrings of Divine life were low. Feeling the spirit of supplication, petitions were vocally put up to the Lord our God, that in mercy and compassion, He would regard the conditions of all present. There appeared to be some concerned Friends among them, and we had hope, they would be more fully awakened to a sense of the necessity of being withdrawn from the improper pursuit of the things of time, and cherish a more fervent concern for the prosperity of truth, than it is to be feared most are now sensible of.

18th. Before leaving the next morning, we had a religious opportunity with the Friends where we stayed. In the evening, being at the house of Jesse McCarty, we had a meeting with some Friends, in which the advantage and duty of waiting upon the Lord, were in some measure set forth; and those present were warned against being swallowed up with the pursuit of lawful things; and encouraged to devote themselves to the Lord's service, out of meetings as well as in them. Were this their labor and experience, there are some among them who would become lights in that place, and helpers in the church of Christ. The importance of rightly maintaining the discipline, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, was also laid before them.

19th. We rode back to Muncy, and were thankful to be again landed among our friends there, in safety. Visited several families of Friends, in two of which, we had religious opportunities, laboring to arouse them from their lukewarmness, and pressing upon them the necessity of knowing the work of salvation to be accomplished, while the day of mercy lasts.

21st. Attended the first-day meeting. I felt drawn to hold forth a word of encouragement, to those who were honestly endeavoring to stand for the Truth. Also to show to others, that if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away, and all things become new, and all things of God. That however valuable a belief of the truths of the gospel undoubtedly is, it will not be sufficient, where it is only literal or educational. We must know the new creation; the heart sanctified, so as to be prepared as a temple for the Lord to dwell in. He will not dwell in a defiled heart. I felt his humbling power, softening my heart towards the people, especially the younger part of the company; and under its heavenly influence, the spring of the gospel was opened, and the Lord gave the word for the different states; some of which, I believed, were tenderly reached; and we had cause to return thanks to Him for his renewed aid, and Divine presence. In the afternoon, we rode to Greenwood, the weather being wet; it became dark before we reached the house of our friends D. M. and wife, by whom we were kindly received.

22nd. In the Preparative Meeting, adjourned to this day at our request, a qualification was again furnished to preach the gospel; holding forth the doctrine of Christ, to place the kingdom of heaven, and the righteousness thereof, above all other pursuits in this world. After dining, we called upon several families, in most of which we were engaged to labor for their encouragement, and faithfulness to their religious duties. True zeal is greatly lacking, and the number of Friends is now small.

23rd. Returned to Muncy this morning. Their Select Preparative Meeting being held this afternoon, we attended it.

24th. We were at Muncy Monthly Meeting this morning.

We sat a long time in silence. Though clothed with fear of speaking without it was required, I also felt afraid to omit what was my duty to do. In this state, the language of our blessed Redeemer, “Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant,” was brought before me; accompanied with the belief, that some had need of being humbled and reduced, to prepare them for his government and kingdom, and to be made use of by Him in his household. And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, “Verily I say unto you, except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” The indispensable need of self-reduction, and laying aside all reliance on our own wisdom and strength, that we may be fitted for membership in the church of Christ, was held forth among them. “If any man among you seems to be wise in this world, let him become a fool that he may be wise.” We cannot enter the sheepfold but by Christ, the door; nor into the narrow way, but through the strait gate; and those who thus enter, will be prepared, as they keep obedient to Him, to receive gifts, and to know their services appointed to them, by the Great Head of the church. I believe He was with us and carried home to some, the important truths declared among them.

In the Monthly Meeting, the minute of the Quarterly Meeting, appointing the committee, was recorded; and it was a satisfaction to the committee, to feel that their efforts among them, were well received; and we hoped the bond of christian love and fellowship, was a little strengthened.

After dining, we set out for Danville, which we reached about eight o'clock; the road, though part of it mountainous, was generally good, and the evening was clear and moonlight. Lodged there, and early the following morning, took stage for Pottsville; arrived there before two, and before seven o'clock in the evening, were landed at our beloved homes, a distance of one hundred and fifty miles from Muncy.

Poverty of spirit, and the absence of all ability to do anything in the Lord's work, has been my clothing for days, since our return; all in mercy and great condescensions from Him who alone can strip, and humble man into the dust; that no flesh may attempt to glory in his presence.

30th. I accompanied my beloved wife to Frankford Monthly Meeting, before which she laid a concern to visit their families, and received the cordial unity of the meeting with her prospect.

In the first meeting we were both strengthened to declare the gospel. That there is no new doctrine to preach; no new way found out to the everlasting kingdom of rest and peace; but that Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and it is through obedience to Him, under the daily cross, that He brings any to the Father. The dear young people were affectionately warned against disobedience, and pleaded with to yield to the visitations of Divine love. Friends were kind and loving, and we returned home in peace.

Eleventh month 3rd. Was our Select Quarterly Meeting, from which several members were absent.

5th. We had a very large Quarterly Meeting for worship. It was quiet and held under a degree of solemnity. This was the case with the Meeting for Discipline also. When the Queries were gone through, I felt constrained to encourage Friends to keep to all our religious meetings; also to warn some against supporting any cause that is adverse to the cause of Christ, and which He raised Friends up to support; or to attempt to support his cause in an unchristian spirit; either of which, will create disunity. The time is coming when all will he judged, and no party combination can come between such, and Him who searches the heart, and shows unto man what his thoughts are; and will reward every man according to his deeds.

11th. Some temporal concerns have pressed upon me pretty heavily for several days; in which the heavens also seemed wrapped in darkness, and faith, to enable me to look to and trust in the Preserver of men, reduced low. In the forepart of our meeting, this morning, it was difficult to withdraw the mind from those distracting, worldly things, which brought me under distress. Our friend Robert Scotton was opened, in a lively manner, upon the states of outside professors, who were striving to satisfy themselves with their own doings, while the precious seed of the kingdom was oppressed, and choked by the love and pursuit of worldly gratifications; and in the midst of which they were ignorant of the resurrection of the life and power of godliness into dominion. He also ministered to those who were suffering with this oppressed seed, and encouraged them to faithful endurance, though the Lord might try them long with hiding his face from them; but as they kept patient under his dispensation, He would cause the clouds to disperse, and again appear for their comfort. The Lord's humbling hand was laid upon me, constraining me to bow before Him, and publicly petition that in his unutterable and unmerited mercy, He would continue to be round about his children, older and younger, and defend them from the jaws of the devourer. You know all the trials of those, who are travailing for the arising of the seed of life; be with them, we humbly pray you, and string their bow in the day of battle; and with your ministers; Oh! be unto them, mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance.

Watch over, we beseech you, the dear children, when out from under the eye of their parents and friends, and keep them from doing anything that will grieve your Holy Spirit, or bring dishonor upon themselves and your precious cause. In this manner my spirit was poured out, in brokenness and contrition, before the Lord and his people; which brought solemnity over the meeting; and praise, might, majesty and dominion, were ascribed unto the Lord God, and to his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, who only are worthy. Many were tenderly bowed under the merciful extension of Divine regard to us, poor unworthy creatures. The load upon me was lightened, and I went on my way rejoicing.

Chapter XXIII

1849—1850

Religious Engagements in Philadelphia—Attendance at neighboring Meetings—Religious Visit to the Meetings in New Jersey—Services at and near Home—Reflections respecting the Mexican War.

1849. Eleventh month 13th. This day I attended the North Meeting, and found a very large collection of Friends and others convened on account of a marriage. After some time of silence, in which I believe some were brought under exercise that the meeting might be held with solemnity, I felt drawn to mention that marriage is a Divine ordinance; and where entered into, in the fear of the Lord, and the parties are concerned to do His will to the end of their days, it conveys many blessings; not only in things of an earthly nature, in which they are helpmeets to one another; but, each following their Lord and Master in the work of regeneration, they are made a strength and encouragement to each other in the holy way to everlasting blessedness. Many things were opened to the people; a considerable part of whom did not appear to be Friends, and great stillness, and I hope solemnity, prevailed.

15th. Went to the Arch Street meeting under an apprehension of religious duty. I felt constrained to speak of the continued preservation from the power of the tempter to lead into sin, which is extended, in great mercy, to those who mind the Light of Christ, in its convictions and leadings in the heart.

Those who are the Lord's workmanship, created anew in Christ Jesus, He will not desert nor overlook, but they will be kept by Him from youth to old age; and being faithful, will become pillars in his house that shall go no more out. To those who are slighting the pleadings of his Spirit, and joining the friendships and maxims of the world, a pressing invitation was given to examine their condition in that light which cannot deceive. For what will all the gold they can accumulate, avail in that day when they are summoned to appear before the judgment seat of Christ? It cannot procure Divine approbation, or an entrance into heaven. While such are disregarding the repeated calls to holiness, and seeking their satisfaction elsewhere, they will become darkened, and be deceived with false pretensions to peace.

22nd. My dear wife having been engaged about ten days in visiting the families of Frankford Monthly Meeting, I went to meet her at Grermantown Meeting this morning. We were favored with the breaking of heavenly bread, through the great condescension of the Lord; the alone Succorer and Helper of his people.

25th. During the forepart of the meeting this morning, the power of darkness, through various insinuations of the enemy, so strove in me, that there seemed little hope of gaining the ascendency over it; but after a season of conflict, the Master condescended to appear, when Satan fled, and a great change was experienced; and ability was afforded to testify to the blessedness of waiting for, and looking to Christ, who is over all the power of the enemy. He it is, who will give to the thirsty, panting soul, the living water, of which those who drink, will desire no other.

Twelfth month 10th. Several late occurrences of a distressing nature, in which I was not concerned, have tended to produce depression; which was increased by a remark that I made on a certain occasion under the influence of a little excitement, which although the motive was good, gave me no little uneasiness.

This morning the language of the Savior passed through my mind, “Why are you so fearful, O you of little faith?” I was afraid to attempt to banish fear, lest the affliction should not have all the effect which it should produce; but the language of the compassionate High Priest gave me comfort and hope, that no evil resulted from my remark, and through the day my mind has been calm and peaceful. Oh what poor, weak creatures we are; and the Lord has his means to make us sensible of it. These dispensations humble us, and increase our charity for others.

11th. This morning I felt an unexpected intimation to go to the North Meeting. The striking and encouraging character given of the Savior by the prophet, was feelingly brought before my mind, representing his gentleness and tenderness. “He shall not strive nor cry; neither shall any man hear His voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall He not break, and smoking flax shall He not quench, till He send forth judgment unto victory; and in his name shall the gentiles trust?” Dear E. Pitfield knelt, early in the meeting, in humble, tender supplication; which brought a good savor over the meeting. After some time, it seemed proper for me to revive the above passage, and to set forth a little the great compassion of Him, who knows our infirmities better than we know them ourselves. The bruised heart, which feels like a reed for strength, He will not break; but in his time will bind it up; and though there may seem to be little of Divine life in the soul, comparable to fire, no more than sufficient to create a smoke, yet He will not quench it, where there is a secret prayer and desire, to be made what He would have us to be. He will regard the cries of his tribulated seed; and where any have transgressed his Divine law, and are brought to feel their condition, if they abide under his judgments, He will open the prison to them that are bound, and grant deliverance to the afflicted soul. Friends were exhorted not to cast away their shield, as though they had never quenched with it, the fiery darts of the wicked; for one of the devices of the enemy, is to tempt us to despair of the Lord's mercy, and of preservation to the end.

23rd. Our Meeting for Sufferings was held on the 21st; in which there was a comfortable feeling of fellowship amongst those who are travailing together for the faith of the gospel. The business was transacted in much harmony, and I hoped the unity of the Spirit was felt. May it increase and bind us together, that we may be of one heart and of one mind. This afternoon in our meeting there was a comfortable hope, that the Lord would not desert us; but if we kept steadfastly upon the watch, the Spirit of prayer would be granted, and in his time He would cause his light and life to break forth amongst us; and seeking ones, beholding our stability in Christ, would become united to us, as the soul of Jonathan was knit to David's.

I had a short testimony to the Lord's power, and to the necessity of those who are seeking a people who live in the Truth, to look within and not without them; that they may have the spiritual eye anointed, and be made instrumental themselves in exalting the kingdom of the Savior.

26th. My wife and myself went out to Springfield on a social visit to our brothers and sisters. Attended their week-day meeting. I was reminded of the language, “The ways of Zion mourn, so few come to her solemn feasts,” and mentioned it in the men's Preparative Meeting; expressing the hope, that the overseers and other Friends would look into the state of the members, whether the neglect of their religious meetings was not growing upon some, and endeavor to stir them up to greater diligence in performing this solemn and profitable duty.

30th. This morning, before setting out to their first-day meeting, as we did not expect to return, my dear sister Hannah Rhoads informed us that, for several years, she had been impressed with the belief it would, at some period, be required of her, to pay a religious visit to Friends in some parts of Great Britain and Ireland; and that for the last eight months, it had rested upon her with such weight, day and night, she believed it would be right to lay it before their Monthly Meeting for its judgment. We encouraged her to do so, not doubting it was a right concern; and that, if set at liberty to prosecute it, He who put her forth, would strengthen and qualify for the work He engaged her in.

31st. Was held Chester Monthly Meeting, which passed a memorial of our late beloved friend Sarah Emlen. The concern of my sister H. Rhoads, brought a weight over the meeting, and was seriously and feelingly considered and spoken to and the calm and serene feelings which overspread the minds of Friends, appeared to me to be evidence that the Master owned it by the church. After the expression of unity, a committee was separated to prepare a certificate to be ready for next month.

1850, First month 23rd. Yesterday I attended the Northern District Monthly Meeting. Several Friends spoke in the first meeting. In the second, I felt drawn to encourage Friends to stand firm in the support of our christian testimonies, and to come into the practical experience of what is contained in the evangelical prediction: “In that day shall the Lord of hosts be for a crown of glory and for a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people; and for a spirit of judgment to Him that sits in judgment, and for strength to them that turn the battle to the gate.” In Christ, who is the Head of the church, are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge; He knows every child in his family, and as we humbly wait upon Him, He will, by the touches of his finger, quicken us for service, and give strength and wisdom to perform it.

We had the company of several Friends at our Monthly Meeting today, whose services were acceptable. I thought we had good evidence that the meeting was gathered and held under the authority of Truth, and the business transacted in the fear of the Lord. The tendering power of the Holy Spirit was felt, renewing our faith a little, and leading us to trust that it might be regarded as a token of Divine kindness, and that the blessed Head had not forsaken us.

Second month. Our Quarterly Meeting, held on the 4th, was one of the largest I have seen in that house, or anywhere else, and was covered with much solemnity; a qualification being received to search into some of the departures from our testimonies, and to stand firmly for their importance and right support.

15th. Went down to Woodbury, on the 13th, and attended the Select Quarterly Meeting. Our aged, exemplary and experienced friend Hinchman Haines, was also there, and was engaged in testimony, to the tendering and comfort of my spirit. He recited part of the conversation between our Lord and Philip, when the latter said, “Show us the Father and it suffices us.” Christ replied, “Have I been so long time with you, and have you not known me, Philip?” H. H. went on to speak of his own infirmities, and the concern he often felt, to enquire whether he was in the right path, under which faith was proved when light was withheld; but he believed that though the Lord hid his face from us, and He might not see fit to appear as soon as we desired, yet as we maintained the watch and the struggle, He would manifest Himself, to our consolation. This, he said, was his belief; and his frequent desire was to know whether he was in the right path, though he was a poor creature.

It was a comfort to hear doctrine so applicable to my condition, and the frequent exercise of my mind, from an old disciple, now more that four score years of age. I hoped it was an evidence the Lord had turned my feet to this place, to be thus ministered unto. I was broken down into tears under it, in such manner, as is not very common for me, and I desired to return thanks to the Lord for his mercy.

Next day we were at the meeting for business. Though unworthy, it appeared to be my duty to bend the knee in vocal supplication to the Father of mercies, that He who knew all our weaknesses and infirmities, would look down upon us in tender compassion, and renew that blessed faith which He gave us in the beginning of our heavenly journey; and by his Spirit and power, strengthen us to keep the watch and maintain the holy warfare; so that nothing might be permitted to cause us to slide from the true foundation, and thereby bring any reproach upon the profession we have made before many witnesses. Also that He would lay his hand upon the children, and draw them to take the yoke of his well-beloved Son upon them, and follow Him in the way of his leading. That thus a multitude might be brought to support the doctrines and testimonies which He gave our forefathers to bear before the world; be made instrumental in spreading his kingdom; and ascribe thanksgiving and praise, might, majesty and dominion, to Him, the Lord God and the Lamb; to whom alone it belongs, now and forevermore. This afforded me some relief, and a little hope, that Divine regard and mercy were continued.

20th. Having for some time felt a concern to pay a religious visit to the meetings of Friends in New Jersey, I spread the subject before the Monthly Meeting which was held this day a minute was granted me expressive of its unity, and encouraging me to pursue the prospect as Truth may direct.

On first-day, the 24th, I came over to my friend S. N.'s, who had agreed to take me to some of the meetings, and attended that at Haddonfield. After a season of silent waiting, the expressions of the apostle came before me, “As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: so Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for Him shall He appear the second time without sin unto salvation.” The way opened to preach Christ crucified, without the gates of Jerusalem, as the propitiatory sacrifice for the sins of all mankind; as our glorified Mediator and Intercessor, at the right hand of the Father; and in his spiritual appearance in the heart, as the refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap, to purify the soul and prepare it for Him, the Lord of life and glory, to dwell in, by his Spirit; and having destroyed the works of the devil there, He puts an end to sin in the sanctified believer, and in the room thereof, brings in everlasting righteousness.

25th. We left pretty early for Burlington, and put up with our kind friend Margaret Smith. I left home under feelings of depression, not knowing how I should get along with my proposed visit; but I kept it quietly to myself, looking to and relying upon the Lord alone for help and preservation. The Select Quarterly Meeting was passed by me in silence. I went to the meeting next morning in a low frame of mind. After a season of inward retirement before the Lord, my mind became impressed with the importance of keeping to the original ground of our profession, and of all vital religion; a reliance on the immediate teaching of Christ Jesus in the heart, by his Spirit.

A living gospel ministry has often been a great blessing; but the design of it is to bring people to Him, who alone can open to them their conditions, and give dominion over sin, and prepare for the reception of those gifts which are to be occupied in his church. Many eminent men and women [of this place.] have been gathered to their everlasting reward, and the gifts which they occupied here, have been withdrawn from the militant church. Only as we are prepared by the cleansing power of Divine grace, which made them what they were, will the present members of the Society be brought into a situation to be entrusted with spiritual gifts. Under a view of the great falling away from the travail of soul, and the lively zeal which have heretofore characterized faithful servants, and qualified them to stand for the good cause, the Lord enabled me to lay open the state of the church, and to labor with those present, for a restoration of primitive zeal for the support of the great cause, that He raised up our Society to uphold, and to spread in the earth. I was humbly thankful for the Divine aid and authority vouchsafed; and that peace and satisfaction clothed my spirit in the work. The glory belongs to the Lord alone, who condescended to our low, unworthy states. In the afternoon, after enjoying the company of several dear friends, we left Burlington, with a Friend, who offered to pilot us to Barnegat, and rode six or seven miles to our lodging-place.

27th. Our journey to this village was through a piney wilderness; some of it mere barrens, and few dwellings on the road; the distance about forty miles. We got to J. C.'s, in the afternoon; and notice was spread that evening and next morning, of a meeting to be held there. In meeting with this family, I felt a nearness and desire for their best welfare; situated as they are, with little opportunity for interaction with Friends, but few of whom visit them from a religious concern.

28th. Went to a small school-house, where the Friends hold their meetings for worship; but few people came until we had been there half an hour; when the house was filled by the inhabitants, who were returning from the burial of a young man who had died after a short illness. It was some time before the company became settled, and then they sat in a proper manner. The word of life was preached to them, and some things opened, concerning the temptations to which man is exposed, and the means of salvation, through our Lord Jesus Christ; and the opportunity closed with supplication for the people and the little remnant of Friends in this place. We had a short, tendering opportunity with J. C.'s family; endeavoring to strengthen them to greater dedication; and parting affectionately, rode to Tuckerton, twelve miles.

Third month 1st. During the night, it rained hard, and the wind was very high in the morning, but clearing off, a pretty large collection of persons, and some Friends, came together.

It seemed as if nearly all were carried away by a strong current, into the spirit and fashions of the world; so that there appeared little hope that a succession will come up among Friends. The sensation was affecting, in beholding plain men and women fallen into such indifference to the cause of Truth, and the preservation of their children in plainness, conformably with our religious testimony; and some marrying with those who are not of us. I endeavored to discharge myself faithfully on the pernicious effects of the love and pursuit of wealth; absorbing the time and talents bestowed on us for nobler purposes, and giving indulgence to the carnal propensities of old and young.

The Friends here appeared to suffer loss, from the lack of the beneficial influences of religious society, from which they are much separated; and probably from the absence of faithful laborers and watchmen, who lived formerly in these parts, or travelled among them in the love and service of the gospel. This class is greatly diminished, and the love of ease and the comforts of home, may be insidiously binding to their temporal enjoyments, the small number left; and hindering them from that devotion and zeal in the Lord's cause, which our predecessors felt, and manifested by their fervent, painful labors. We dined with an elder, few of whose children looked like Friends, and lodged at the house of another member, whose children had no appearance of Friends.

2nd. We rode round Little Egg Harbor River, to a tavern, nineteen miles; fed our horses, and took some dinner. Then obtaining directions respecting the road, S. N. and I set off, and got to J. L.'s at Leed's Point, between three and four o'clock, where we were kindly received and entertained. The number of members being few, and the meeting-house small, and not in very good repair, often they are much discouraged from attempting to hold a meeting for worship; but latterly, through the visits of a committee of the Quarterly Meeting, the number assembling is larger than it was a few years ago.

3rd. The morning was rainy and discouraging; but notice having been spread of our coming, the men's side of the meeting-house was pretty well filled; the number of women about twelve. The Lord furnished ability to preach the gospel among them; and humble prayer and thanksgiving were offered to Him, for his goodness and mercy to us. In the afternoon, it snowed and rained, with a high wind, the storm coming from the north-east; but in the night it cleared up cold, and froze pretty hard before morning. We passed the remainder of the day with our friends, and had a little religious opportunity with them before retiring to our chamber.

4th. Rose pretty early, and after breakfasting, we set out westward, and rode over a rough road, frozen hard in some places, about eighteen miles, to a tavern near Pleasant Mills. Here we obtained directions respecting the way, which lies much through a piney country, not thickly settled, along the east side of the west branch of Egg Harbor River, to Atsion Furnace, and from there through Medford to J. E. E.'s; the whole distance from the Point being about forty-three miles. The latter part of the road being much cut up with heavy wagons, made rough traveling, so that when I alighted I could hardly stand. Our Friend sent over to B. E.'s, at Easton, requesting him to spread notice for a meeting among them next day. I felt satisfied and comfortable, after the accomplishment of the visit to the shore meetings, and hoped to be preserved watchful and inward to the Master, through the remainder of the work.

5th. A pretty full meeting, but a laborious time amongst them, on the subject of the love of the world. It is much more desirable to be commissioned to speak peace to the faithful, tribulated disciples, than to have to warn the worldly-minded of their inordinate attachment to the things of time, and the pernicious influence it has, in destroying the love for heavenly things, and, consequently, the work of the soul's salvation. Dined with B. R., and in the afternoon, visited a sick Friend. Went to D. W.'s, at Rancocas, and put up with them.

6th. Attended their week-day meeting, which was pretty large, although the weather was wet. Soon after sitting down with them, some expressions of the evangelical prophet, which prefigure the great change wrought in the temper, and appetites of the natural man, as he comes under the renovating power of Divine Grace, came before me, together with some of the expressions of James Naylor, when near the close of his life. “There is a spirit that I feel, which delights to do no evil, nor to revenge any wrong; but delights to endure all things, in hope to enjoy its own in the end. In God alone it can rejoice, though none else regard it. It never rejoices but through suffering, for with the world's joys it is murdered. It takes its kingdom by entreaty, and not with contention, and keeps it by lowliness of mind.” The prophet says, “The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf, and the young lion, and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.” Again, “Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low, and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain.” I felt raised up in the Lord's power, to show that the humbling operation of his Spirit, as submitted to, brings down the lofty spirit and the strong passions, and softens the rough nature of man, so that he is brought into the Lamb-like nature; and a little child, regenerated by the same grace, shall lead him. Here there is a harmonious walking together in the heavenly fellowship of the gospel; and the happiness of families, and of religious society, is truly promoted, where this blessed change is witnessed. Help was mercifully granted through the fresh openings of the Holy Spirit, to preach the gospel in its authority; to my own relief, and I hope, to the comfort, and the conviction of some, of the truth of what was delivered.

Dined at A. W.'s, and made a short visit to Granville Woolman, a minister, and nephew of that humble, tribulated follower of Christ, John Woolman. Took tea with H. W.. Before leaving their house, I felt constrained to hold up to them the responsibility of bringing up children; the necessity of laying a restraining hand upon them, and of setting them such an example, that nothing may appear in their own conduct unsuitable for the children to copy after. Returned to D. W.'s after dark, the weather still wet.

7th. In the morning, when about time to set off for Mount Holly, we sat down with our friends, and I had a word of consolation and peace to the dear aged grandfather, and of caution and entreaty to the parents and daughter, to come more and more out of the spirit and pursuit of the world, and to devote themselves to the love and service of their Heavenly Father. It was like a gentle shower, softening our hearts before the Lord, and causing tears to drop from all eyes. My companion and I left them, with feelings of reciprocal regard and affection. The company convened at the meeting-house was small, being chiefly members; but the preaching of the gospel, adapted to their states, was no less important, than in great congregations, and I hope heavenly help was granted to divide the word; so that I was favored to relieve myself in love, amongst them, without daubing with untempered mortar, and came away in peace; thankful to the Master for his condescending goodness. B. E. and his wife, kindly met us at Mount Holly, with whom we re turned to their house and dined. Set out for the residence of our beloved, aged friend Hinchman Haines, at Evesham; with whom I wished to spend some time, as it might not be long that such an opportunity would be afforded. He was free and open in conversation, chiefly upon the welfare of the Society, which occupies much of his thought and concern.

8th. Went to Evesham Monthly Meeting; in which I was again favored, through the unmerited condescension of the Shepherd of Israel, to such a poor, weak creature, to hold forth the spiritual nature, and inward efficacy of the gospel.

“The king's daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is of wrought gold.” This is figurative of the robes of righteousness, with which the members of the body and church of Christ are clothed by Him, as He is known to cleanse the heart, and divest us of the filthy garments of sin. There was a word of encouragement to those who had long known this work, and who, through the Lord's mercy, were built upon the Rock, and were as pillars; or if they persevered in well-doing, would be made pillars, that should go no more out of his house. I had cause, gratefully to return thanks for the free supply of things, new and old, which the Master granted me this day. The business of the Monthly Meeting was conducted in a pretty satisfactory manner.

9th. Was held the Monthly Meeting at Medford, which was large, being mostly composed of exemplary Friends; among whom I labored in gospel love to awaken some, who have lost ground, through unfaithfulness, and suffering their minds to be absorbed by the pursuit of worldly things; endeavoring to persuade them to turn away from that which hinders a growth in the Truth, and to yield to the fresh visitations of Divine Grace, that they may be restored to that tenderness of spirit, and fervent desire after holiness, which they once knew. Encouragement was also held out to the humble followers of Christ, to keep to Him, and under a daily travail for themselves, and the flock around them. The sitting closed with supplication for those classes, and for the visited children. We went to a Friend's house to dine, where we met with our dear friend Lydia Stokes, a pillar, and an exercised member in the church.

In the evening we rode to Joseph Evans', of Cropwell, where we lodged. They entertained us very pleasantly, being lovers of the truth, and the friends of truth.

10th. The morning was fine, and it being first-day, a pretty large company convened at Cropwell; to whom the doctrine of the law written in the heart, according to the new covenant, promised through Jeremiah, was opened. When Christ came, He said, “My sheep hear my voice.” After his ascension, one of his apostles declared, “You have an unction from the Holy One, and you know all things:” and, “You need not that any man teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you of all things, and is truth and is no lie, and even as it has taught you, you shall abide in Him.” These show the nature of the gospel religion; and it is only by yielding to the law made known in the inward parts, by this Divine Teacher, that we can become the sheep of Christ, and members of his church. There seemed to be those present, who had need to be taught the first principles of the gospel, and to be brought to the beginning point of all saving knowledge. It was not a very animating season to me.

We dined at J. H.'s, where we had the company of several Friends; drawn together, in part, from sympathy with him and his wife, who had lately lost their only daughter, whose end was precious. Before leaving them, we had a religious opportunity, in which resignation to the will of Providence, and an earnest engagement to come up in our respective allotments, to the Lord's honor, were affectionately pressed upon all present. Rode to the home of my companion, and was kindly received by his dear wife.

11th. Attended Haddonfield Monthly Meeting in silence, during the first sitting. There is need of more religious depth and feeling in many, to qualify them for service in the church. There appear to be few, comparatively, who live in that daily exercise, and walk in the Spirit, which would fit them to judge a right judgment. The present state of the Society, calls for a more fervent travail, on the part of those who are sensible of it, and a more united application to the Great Head of the church, for wisdom and strength to labor for a reformation among us. But the benumbing effect of the love of this world on some, seems to render such reformation, in their cases, almost hopeless.

I was very low in spirit throughout the day; no doubt needful to renew a fresh sense of the nothingness of man, however he may have been divinely favored. In the afternoon, sat with the few select members in their Preparative Meeting, which was held at the home of Elizabeth Redman, in consequence of her inability to leave the house. It was rather a comforting opportunity, and grateful to her, as she had been but little at meeting, since the last Quarter.

12th. Went to Moorestown, and attended Chester Monthly Meeting there. The humbling feelings I had passed through, prepared me for the reception of some openings into the states of those present; and the Lord gave matter, and understanding, and authority, to hand it to them, in meekness and true charity; dividing the word to different conditions. It was his own work, and I was thankful for his condescending goodness and mercy to me, a poor creature; and to others also, who were present. Several expressed their unity and satisfaction when my minute was read.

13th. Was the Select Quarterly Meeting, which was less in number than usual.

14th. In the first meeting today, it opened before me, that to be a watchman on the walls of Zion, had a double meaning. First, to have our loins girded and light burning, watching over ourselves; waiting for the coming of our Lord to show us his will, and to give strength to perform it. Secondly, being thus disciplined in the school of Christ, so as to distinguish his voice from that of the stranger, we are prepared to watch over others, and to receive the command to warn the flock of surrounding dangers. Many things, in reference to a growth in Divine Grace, were handed to the people; and backsliders were persuaded to forsake their evil ways, and turn to the Lord; and old and young were encouraged to keep to the guidance of the Captain of salvation. If obedience is yielded to his blessed will, by the younger members of our Society, we may safely hope that gifts will be dispensed to them; that the waste places will be restored, and the revival of that Divine life and power, experienced amongst us, which has been the strength, the dignity and authority of the living members, and which rendered the Society a bright example of the christian virtues to other professors. There appeared to be a warm feeling of unity and kindness amongst Friends. After dining at S. N.'s, I returned to my own habitation, being satisfied with the visit so far as accomplished.

15th. My object in coming to the city at this time, was to attend the Meeting for Sufferings, which convened this day. An attempt having been made, in the Pennsylvania Legislature, to repeal several important sections of the law of 1847, enacted to prevent kidnapping, etc, the subject was taken under deliberation by the meeting, and referred to a committee, to ascertain what was likely to be done by the legislature; and if they believed it necessary, to prepare a remonstrance against the proposed repeal.

Memorials for our dear friends, Margaret Hutchinson and Sarah Emlen, were received, and placed under the inspection of a committee. The reading of them brought comfortable feelings over the meeting, and it was a satisfactory sitting.

17th. At our own meeting on first-day, I felt bound to testify to the continued presence of the Savior with his disciples, down to this day, as they kept their faith in Him; even when their eyes might be withholden from discovering his presence; as those of his disciples formerly were, at times, when He was with them in the prepared body. After He has proved us, He will show Himself to the longing soul, and satisfy it with his goodness, and clothe with fresh strength to do his will in all things.

22nd. The Meeting for Sufferings was again convened, to consider a draft of a memorial to the State Legislature against the proposal to rescind parts of the law to prevent kidnapping. It was twice read, and after a few alterations was adopted, and the committee directed to present it to both branches; also to furnish every member of the Legislature with a printed copy.

24th. Being first-day, I went to Newtown meeting, notice having been spread of my intention of being there. It was an exercising meeting to me; the life of religion being but little in dominion in the hearts of many who were there. But after a time of silent waiting, I endeavored to discharge myself, in warning them of the fearful consequences of continued rebellion against the visitations of the Holy Spirit, which, if persisted in to the end, must separate the soul from the Divine harmony, to mingle with the lost and fallen spirits, in a state of endless misery. The joys of an inheritance among the saints in lights were also pointed to, as the blessed reward of the righteous; as well as the sweet, sustaining peace, from obedience to Christ, in our passage through life.

25th. Went to my beloved friend's G. and M. Mickle, and next day attended Woodbury Monthly Meeting, which was small. Renewed ability was furnished to labor, in the love and authority of the gospel, to draw Friends to greater faithfulness to Christ. In the afternoon rode down to Salem with Geo. Mickle, where we were kindly received by our worthy friend Martha Wistar, and next day were at the Monthly Meeting; which is also a small company. After dinner, the weather being wintry, George and I rode to Greenwich, and put up with my cousins, George and Naomi Bacon.

28th. Went to their Monthly Meeting; which was rather exercising to me, yet not without comfort. There are rightly concerned Friends belonging to it, who desire the prosperity of truth. Called afterward at our aged and afflicted friend's John Sheppard, now confined by a complication of diseases. Sitting in his chamber, the way opened to hold forth the doctrine, of becoming as a little child, preparatory to experiencing the kingdom of heaven to be set up in the heart, and an entrance into it administered in the world to come. When we are humbled into a sense of our nothingness, and receive the gift of repentance, though our past transgressions may, at times, seem to come before us as a cloud, or even as a thick cloud, yet having loved the Lord and his cause, we have ground to hope that he will regard us in our low, humble condition, and forgive them, for his name and his dear Son's sake. It was a contriting opportunity to nearly all present. The snow made traveling slavish for the horse, so that we were about three hours going twelve miles, to Alloways Town, where we put up with a Friend for the night.

29th. Accompanied by our friends, we rode to Woodstown, and attended a meeting appointed to be held in a Friend's house. The company was small, the former members having very generally gone with the separatists. I had much to communicate, on the fruits of obedience to Divine grace, and on some of the doctrines of the gospel; warning them against the spirit of infidelity, that is stalking abroad in the country. The meeting closed with prayer for our preservation from the temptations that surround us. Dined with S. L. and several other Friends, and before we left, I endeavored to encourage them to keep to their religious meetings, though small, both for their own benefit, and that of the young people. Set off for Woodbury, and called to see our aged friend Rebecca Hubbs; confined from the effects of paralysis. She is an extraordinary instance of the power of Divine grace, in preparing one of little knowledge, who has been faithful to its teachings, for usefulness in the church; and having received a gift in the ministry, enabling her at times to exercise it in an extraordinary manner. Though her voice was affected by disease, she spoke of the many favors that had been conferred upon her; for which she said she was afraid she had not been sufficiently thankful. I had a little encouragement for her; expressing the belief that the covenant of life, and of peace, would be with the Lord's faithful children, which He would give them, for the fear wherewith they feared Him, and were afraid before his name. And though she might pass through much weakness and stripping, I trusted that He, who had been with and supported her in days past, would mercifully grant the evidence, before the end came, that a mansion was prepared for her. She was comforted by our visit. We went on our way pleasantly, the road from Swedesborough being good, and got to G. Mickle's towards evening, which is an agreeable tarrying place. Next morning I went in the stage to Red Bank, and taking the steamboat, reached home well and peaceful.

Fourth month. As our Yearly Meeting draws on, my mind has been clothed with sadness; leading me to anticipate suffering and danger, unless the Master, by his invisible power, interpose to defeat the insidious workings of the unwearied enemy, who is watching to destroy our Society. Our refuge is in the mercy and goodness of the Lord Almighty; who only can preserve his church, and exalt his own Name and power, enabling his people to praise Him for his wonderful works to the children of men.

12th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings, which was satisfactory, largely attended by the members, and some Friends from other Yearly Meetings.

13th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was small, showing the gradual diminution of this class among us. My sister, Hannah Rhoads, was liberated for the purpose of visiting Friends, in some parts of Great Britain and Ireland, with which a good deal of unity was expressed. I was low, mourning over the desolated state of the Society, and the thinness of our ranks; as well as the lack of that degree of life and spiritual strength, which have characterized faithful, experienced Friends in former days.

15th. Our Yearly Meeting was opened today, and was very large.

Fifth month 23rd. Crossed the river and went to Haddonfield, and attended their week-day meeting, which was small. It came before me pretty soon, that there were many up and down, who, though they made little noise in the religious world, are sincere seekers of the truth; sitting often at the feet of Jesus, and craving for themselves heavenly bread and preservation, from Him. I believed that His gracious eye regarded these in their solitary dwellings, and He answered their sincere petitions; and that of this description, there were those present, whose encouragement and strength in the way of their duty, I desired. Although the support of their religious meetings may often be felt to be laborious, and they are sometimes disappointed in receiving the spiritual comfort they desire, yet as they keep faithful, the Lord would send them help from his sanctuary. I believe the poor in spirit were a little cheered by the unexpected call of a visitor, and they were hearty in their salutations at the close. Dined with S. N., and made agreement with him to accompany me to the remaining meetings in New Jersey.

27th. Went to S. N.'s, and next morning we rode to Burlington, and attended the Quarterly Meeting, which I sat through in silence. There being but little business in the second meeting, it closed with a short sitting. In the afternoon we rode to John Bishop's and lodged.

29th. Notice having been given at the Quarterly Meeting, we had a meeting at Mansfield; in which ability was given to preach the gospel, and to invite the people to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, not only as He is our glorified Redeemer and Intercessor, at the right hand of the Father, but also as He appears in the heart, by his Spirit; to purge away sin by the administration of judgment, and his refining fire, so as to prepare man to hold communion with his Maker, and to follow Him in all his requirings. The meekness and lowliness of Christ, and the gentleness with which He deals with those who are brought to obey Him, and our duty to follow his example, were a little set forth. After dining, we rode to Crosswicks, and put up with J. M. and wife.

30th. Attended their usual mid-week meeting; at which some not members were present. I was led to open the spiritual, practical nature of the religion of the Lord Jesus; which is not designed to amuse the head, but to change the heart; and that some had need of experiencing this effect upon them, rather than indulge in speculation in relation to religion, while they keep aloof from its heart-changing power. There were serious persons present, to whom I hoped the opportunity would be strengthening, as well as to those, upon whom chiefly rested the weight of keeping up a meeting there. On our way to Trenton, we called on a Friend who had recently lost his wife. The circumstance reminded me of the similar trial through which I passed, and which preceded, a short time, my first appearance in the ministry. We had a tendering opportunity just before leaving; in which the great importance of making a right use of the talent the Great Creator has endowed us with, for his glory, the good of our own souls and of his people, was, in love and sympathy, spread before them; particularly directed to the bereaved husband. They appeared satisfied with the little opportunity, and we parted in mutual affection. We went on our way peacefully, and got to our friend Ann Kaighn's at Trenton before dusk, and were kindly received.

31st. Had an appointed meeting at Trenton this morning, with the members and a few others; in which, under feelings of tenderness and sympathy towards the little company, who are endeavoring to maintain the standard of truth and righteousness in this city, I was led to hold up the necessity of keeping the watch against the snares of an insidious enemy; and to warn them of the liability of losing a good condition, without it. I was also bowed in supplication for them, that through all the trials of this uncertain life, they might know the Divine arm to be underneath, and their faith renewed from season to season, and in the end, through the Lord's preserving power and goodness, we might be gathered into a mansion of rest, where we may unite with the sanctified of all generations, in ascribing thanksgiving and praise to the Lord God and the Lamb, world without end; who are forever worthy. It was a solemn opportunity, and I hope profitable.

After dining, we went in company with some Friends to Stony brook, and had a meeting at four o'clock, with Friends and others who usually meet there. The number of the former was very small, few bearing the appearance of Friends. The condition of some, who had once known the Day-Spring from on high, and been brought into the love of Christ, but were now in a different state, was spoken to. The impossibility of anything that man could invent and substitute, giving life to the soul, and bringing it to the saving knowledge of God and of his son Jesus Christ, not even the Scriptures, but Christ himself, by the immediate operation and revelation of his own Spirit, were clearly declared unto them. The doctrine of the Savior, that to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must become as a little child; in which state we are prepared to be taught of Him, and in which true greatness consists, was enforced. It was not a season of much rejoicing, though I trust some were brought under religious feeling; and I left them with a quiet mind. The next morning we set out for Rahway, which we reached early in the afternoon, and took up our lodgings at Joseph D. Shotwell's.

Sixth month 2nd. Attended their first-day meeting; in which there was a qualification vouchsafed, to search Jerusalem as with candles, and to warn some of the danger they were exposed to, through an eager pursuit of the world, and being drawn into an alliance with its fashions and customs; as well as from the influence of other spirits, who are at enmity with the cross of Christ, while professing a respect for religion. They were reminded, that while we might be courteous, as a Christian is bound to be, that love without obedience is of little more worth than faith without works. Our Lord declared, “If a man love me, he will keep my words, and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” It is only by obedience to the grace of Christ Jesus, that the heart can be changed and sanctified, and thus prepared for the Lord, to dwell in, by his Spirit. The matter being furnished, flowed freely, and many truths of the everlasting gospel were clearly opened. The spirit of supplication being felt, prayer was put up. The minds of some were tenderly wrought upon; but a few of the worldly young men, though respectful, appeared to cast off or lightly esteem the obligations of religion, and the simplicity of its character and requirings.

We returned to J. D. Shotwell's, and before leaving, several Friends being there, a little opportunity presented, to remind some, of the responsibility of the stations they occurred. To them the young people looked for examples, and the need there is, to draw them to Christ, by their conduct and spirits, that they too may learn of Him.

3rd. Word having been sent for a meeting at Plainfield, on second-day afternoon, H. W. piloted us there. We dined at our very kind and hospitable friend's, New York. The meeting, composed chiefly of persons not Friends, was not a very lively one to me; yet I endeavored to discharge what appeared to be my duty.

4th. The weather, after being cool for the time of year, was fine today; and though warm, we got to Trenton about one o'clock, and crossed the Delaware. Next morning, riding to Bristol, we crossed in a steamboat to Burlington, and proceeded to our friend Henry Warrington's, at Westfield. Here we were received with his usual kindness; there being few who are more thoroughly sincere in their attentions to their friends, than he is. He is a true lover of the truth, and of the friends of truth, and heartily devoted to serve them and the blessed cause of the Redeemer. I regard him as a pattern of Christian politeness and humility, without ostentatious display. In the afternoon, he took us to see our friend Samuel Leeds, with whom we had cheerful religious converse.

6th. Attended the usual mid-week meeting. The language passed through my mind pretty early after sitting down, Is there any growth in the Truth among you? I hoped that among so many goodly looking Friends, it might be answered in the affirmative, yet felt a fear it was not so fully the case as ought to be. The Master, I trust, qualified to enter a little into the state of the meeting, and to show that those who are faithful in a little, will be made rulers over more; and will be favored to see the beauty, order and strength of the church of Christ, the Lamb's wife; and as they persevere, receive gifts to be occupied in their respective places, to his honor, and the benefit one of another. The exercise of parents for the everlasting welfare of their children, on whose account, as they rightly value the salvation of their own souls, their prayers and tears will often be poured forth, was spread before them, and the tendering power of the Holy Spirit appeared to be over some. Samuel Leeds closed the opportunity with supplication for Divine preservation for us all, and with thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father, for the renewed visitation of his goodness at this time. I was clothed with weakness, and a sense of unworthiness, yet hoped the pure mind was stirred up in not a few.

We returned to our friend H. Warrington's; and after dinner, my kind and attentive companion S. N. took me down to Camden, where we parted, with increased affection for each other. I then crossed the Delaware to my own home, where I found my beloved wife and family in good health, and glad to receive me. The feeling of sweet peace clothed my mind, with gratitude to the Lord for his preserving power, and the ability which He furnished for the work whereunto I believed He had called me.

9th. First-day morning we had our friend Samuel Bettle, Sr. to minister to us. Parts of his communication were particularly instructive, and of a practical nature. My dear wife followed him in fervent supplication, and I hoped the Truth did not lose ground among us.

12th. Emptiness and poverty have been my portion, accompanied with mournful reflections upon the state of our religious Society. Will not the Lord have compassion upon us, and turn our hearts more to one another, with unfeigned love, and prayer for defense from the stratagems of the enemy; whereby he constantly lying in wait, to beguile from the innocency of the Truth, that he may lay us waste individually and as a people! Arise, O Lord, you and the ark of your strength. Let your priests be clothed with righteousness; and cause your saints once more to shout for joy, because you have taken the government into your hands, and rebuked the enemy, and brought us to see eye to eye in your light.

23rd. Went to our son-in-law's, near Germantown, and lodged; and next morning my wife and myself went with them to G. S.'s, and attended Abington Monthly Meeting. They are a small company, but mostly sincerely attached to our testimonies, and in their lives show their desire to support them. The spring of the ministry was opened for their comfort and admonition; that they might not be deterred from faithfully pursuing their duty, either through discouragement, or the attractions of worldly things. They were reminded of Friends being a small company at their commencement; but waiting patiently upon the Lord, they grew in the Truth, and received gifts to edify one another, and gather many to the fold of Christ. The visit appeared to be acceptable, and we rode back to Germantown.

26th. Our Monthly Meeting was held today; at which I returned the minute furnished for visiting the meetings of New Jersey, and informed Friends the service had been accomplished, to the peace and satisfaction of my own mind; having been at all the meetings but one. In the evening we again went to Germantown, and next morning were taken to Gwynedd, where we attended the Monthly Meeting. A committee of the Quarterly Meeting was there, appointed, in consequence of their reduced state, to aid them in the management of the business. The women's meeting is much larger than the men's, and they were without such aid. I thought a fresh qualification was granted for preaching the gospel to them. The business was conducted suitably, though but few to speak to it. We dined with J. S.'s widow, and two sisters, who received and entertained us with much cordiality.

28th. My dear sister H. Rhoads came to town, in order to proceed to New York, to embark for Liverpool, on her religious visit to Friends. In the evening after taking tea with her and others, at my brother Charles', several Friends came in; which furnished an opportunity for feelings of sympathy with her, and of imparting to one another the word of comfort and caution, in which Samuel Settle, Sr., and several others participated. We hoped the retrospect would be satisfactory to her in a distant land, as it was grateful to us, to part under such feelings.

29th. H. Rhoads, and Elizabeth Peirson, her companion, with several of their relatives and friends, went in the early morning line to New York, where the ship lay in which they were to sail for England. We were disappointed in finding she had fallen below the city, so that we could not see them on board, without going down the bay, and not return until after night. J. Rhoads and T. Evans accompanied them, taking the risk of being detained in the night. They got back to New York in the evening, leaving our friends pretty cheerful; and the rest of the company reached Philadelphia about nine o'clock the same evening. The ship got under weigh, we suppose, next morning.

Seventh month 4th. This morning, before rising, there seemed to be a gentle pointing to the Arch Street Meeting, where I had not been since the Quarterly Meeting. When there the life was low, and I felt borne down with discouraging thoughts; but finally the necessity of daily and hourly living in the fear of the Lord, and maintaining the watch, that we might be delivered from the various snares and temptations with which we are surrounded, came before me, with the intimation to rise with it. The importance of young people beginning early in life to cherish this fear, and the daily practice of watching against and resisting temptation, by the aid of the Lord's Holy Spirit, was spread before them. The apostle exhorted the believers to resist the devil and he would flee from them; which was found to be true by the Lord's children and servants, down to the present day. The declaration concerning Levi was, “My covenant of life and peace was with him, which I gave unto him for the fear with which he feared me, and was afraid before my name.” As this holy fear is kept, the Captain of salvation will keep us, and establish us upon the immovable foundation; give us the testimony that we are his, and when the end comes, receive us into the arms of everlasting mercy, which will be of more value than all the world can give, could we possess it.

9th. From an apprehension of duty, I went to the Northern District Meeting; and in the course of our silent waiting, the peace and safety of being brought to feel ourselves as the least of the Lord's children, came before me, with the testimony of the apostle Paul, that he was less than the least of all saints. It felt to me there was great sweetness of spirit enjoyed at times in this humble state. We were enabled in it, to bear being trampled on, if it was the Lord's will to permit it; while others may seem to reign as kings without us. Here we experience Divine support; and when we are let down into baptism and suffering for our own sakes, and the body's, our Lord will be with us; and when our faith has been tried, He will show Himself to be the resurrection and the life; giving renewed qualification to speak to the praise of his excellent name. The language of encouragement was held out to some who had their peculiar trials to bear, that they might humble themselves as a little child, and thereby, according to our Lord's doctrine, be great in the kingdom of heaven. For if there is anything pertaining to us, that will bear the name of greatness, it is in being constantly clothed with the garment of humility.

This afternoon a fire commenced in a store on the wharf, a little below Vine Street, partly occupied with bales of hay; and either in that or the adjoining building, it is said, a quantity of saltpeter was stored. After the fire had progressed some time, one or two explosions took place, which did not create much alarm; but the fire spreading and the heat increasing, a tremendous burst followed, throwing down the walls, and carrying high up into the air, a large quantity of ignited matter, which was carried by the wind on to the neighboring houses. It proved to be the most extensive and destructive conflagration our city has ever suffered from. How suddenly and unlooked for, have a large number of families been turned into the streets, dependent upon their friends, and the public, to provide them with temporary accommodations. Instruction ought to be sealed upon our minds, of the uncertainty of everything we now possess; and of our duty to look to our Heavenly Father for protection, with reliance upon Him for all we have and need. We should thus, at least, be in the best condition of mind, to meet such a calamity, were it permitted to overtake us; not having to charge ourselves with self-confidence, or with forgetfulness of what we owe to our great and gracious Benefactor.

28th. This morning, as we sat at the breakfast table, being first-day, our beloved, absent sister H. Rhoads, was brought into view. Our sympathies were drawn forth towards her; accompanied with sincere desires that she may be favored of the Lord, to see the path of duty which He assigns, and with wisdom and authority, to pursue it to his praise and the good of the people.

This morning I went to Germantown, in order to be at the meeting there; having a secret drawing to be with them. I got in a little after the Friends had generally convened. The testimony was raised, that the Lord's tender mercies are still over all his works; extended even to the rebellious, and to those who love and serve Him. I was enabled to declare of the new and living way, that was opened by the blood of Jesus, and of the gift of grace purchased by Him; by obedience to which, all may come to have access to God by this new way, and to worship Him in spirit, and pour forth their prayers to Him.

To the rebellious, the danger of neglecting the proffered salvation, by suffering the day of visitation to pass away unimproved, was held out. Those who have given up and made sacrifices, but from whom the Beloved of souls had hid his face, were encouraged to keep fast hold of their faith, however much reduced, and He would, when the dispensation had accomplished its purpose, again cause his face to shine upon them, show them with clearness their duties in his church, and give wisdom and strength to fulfill them. The aged who held fast their integrity to the Lord, when the powers of body and mind were weakening, would know Him who took them in his arms in the day of their espousals, to renew their strength as the eagle; enabling them to rise above the tribulations of time, and animate them with holy hope and confidence, that in the end an admittance would be granted into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hoped there were some serious and cheering feelings brought over the different classes.

30th. Our city has been in a state of tumult today, by a great procession, in honor of the late deceased President. Such parades are opposed to the spirit of Christianity, both in the unwarrantable expense of money for mere display; drawing off many people from their business, whose means do not admit of it, and paying such adulation to a poor fallible being, cut off suddenly in the midst of the honors which were being heaped on him. It seemed to me that such mockery of mourning was more likely to call down upon us Divine judgment, in some form, than the approbation of Him, who is a God judging in the earth. The Mexican war, in which Z. Taylor was one of the chief actors, was a war of great atrocity, undertaken to enlarge the Slave States, and their influence in our government. The territory wrested from Mexico has proved a source of great and bitter contention, between the Free and Slave States, threatening the dissolution of our Union, and failing to secure the object for which it was undertaken. The number of disasters and calamities, involving the destruction of the lives of many of our own citizens, and the loss of much property, by fires and otherwise, has been very striking, and leads the watchful, reflecting mind, to the apprehension, that inasmuch as the United States, by their armies, have wantonly destroyed the lives of hundreds of unoffending people, Divine Providence has, in part, withdrawn his protecting power, and suffered these things to overtake us, as retribution for our great sins against the Mexicans, and against the poor negro; for whom, the slaveholder was preparing a market, that he might enrich himself by the sale of his fellow man. The confusion in which our Congress has been placed, for the eight months of this session, is a further evidence, that the Lord has deprived them of the wisdom, ability and harmony which enabled them to despatch their business in sessions back; and it may be still more withdrawn, to show us that our government is not so permanent as we have imagined. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Chapter XXIV

1850—1851

Various Religious Engagements within Philadelphia Yearly Meeting—Liberated to pay a Religious Visit within Indiana Yearly Meeting.

1850, Eighth month 14th. We shut up our house and went to stay a few days with our beloved brothers, and families, at Springfield.

15th. Attended their meetings; in which we both had some service, I hope to the encouragement of the right-minded.

19th. We went to Concord and attended the Select Quarterly Meeting; in which the way opened to encourage all, to keep on the watch tower, waiting for the coming of their Lord, even if they must remain in their ward whole nights. The dispensations of the withdrawing of the Heavenly countenance are for our good, and if properly endured, prepare us to receive the Lord at his coming, and a qualification to testify of his power and goodness; and to labor to gather others into the love of Christ.

20th. Attended the Quarterly Meeting for Discipline under great weakness; there seeming to be little ability to advocate the good cause. In the second meeting there was a concern felt, to call Friends to greater degrees of true fellowship, in that love which the apostle alludes to, when he said, “It is in our hearts to live and to die with you.” As we are clothed with this love, we shall keep a guard over our tongues, and take care not to speak of others, in connection with anything that will lay waste their religious standing. Our brother, Joseph Rhoads, concluding to accompany us to the Western Quarterly Meeting, we set out after dinner.

23rd. Rode to London Grove, and when the Meeting convened, we found it much larger than we expected, many Friends from Concord, and some from Cain Quarter being there. My dear wife was engaged in vocal supplication, that He who breathed upon the dry bones in the valley, would condescend to work by his mighty power upon many, and prepare them to stand as an army for his cause; and also for the dear children. P. E. followed her in testimony. Afterwards I was constrained to bear testimony to the Messiah, the Prince of Peace, the Shiloh of God, to whom the gathering of the people is to be. Who, when He came in the flesh, declared, that as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so shall the Son of Man be lifted up; and, that when He was lifted up, he would draw all men unto Him. The people were invited to come to Christ in his spiritual appearance in the heart, and to obey his Divine requisitions as made known there; that they may be brought out of their earthly conditions, and qualified to promote the spreading of his kingdom, by turning others to righteousness. The business of the meeting was transacted in a becoming spirit; the importance of waiting upon the Lord for wisdom and right direction in the Meetings for Discipline, was affectionately spread before them. In the afternoon we accompanied our dear friends, J. and S. W. to their habitation. Parts of the road being through a luxuriant country, beautifully diversified with hills and valleys, woods and grass fields, we enjoyed the ride. In the following morning, we had a religious opportunity with our friends and some young people.

26th. Was held Chester Monthly Meeting at Springfield, and a pretty large company gathered. I was fervently engaged to warn Friends of the danger of making idols of the temporal blessings with which we are so abundantly surrounded; forgetting and neglecting the duties and the gratitude which we owe to the Great Giver. For all these things, we must give account in the day of judgment. If we are delighting and aggrandizing ourselves with them, and growing in self-importance, the language from one of the holy watchers may go forth, “Hew down the tree, and cut off the branches” and awful will be the condition of such. Such were called upon to come again to Bethel, and through holy help, renew their covenants with the Lord that so they may again experience that humility and tenderness, which they were once favored with. It was a solemn opportunity, in which I hoped the Truth had the dominion; and Friends parted with feelings of near affection. We rode back into the city. It was pleasant to get again under our own roof, where the feelings of peace and comfort are so often enjoyed.

Ninth month 10th. Went to the North Meeting; which, for the middle of the week, was quite large. I sat, perhaps, nearly an hour, during which many presentations passed before me. Finally the happy condition of those who were brought as children into the Lord's family, and were preserved in it to the end, even to old age, came livingly before me; and through the blessed openings of the Key of David, I was enabled to enlarge upon the progress, baptisms, preservations and deliverances of these, to the comfort and strength, I hope, of some present. To those who had been often called, yet turned the back upon the heavenly visitant, a voice of solemn warning went forth; and the mourners were encouraged to hold fast their confidence firm to the end. I came away with a peaceful, cheered mind.

18th. Went to Germantown, and the next morning being the meeting day there, I attended it. The danger of swerving from the path of holiness, after being brought into it, and the indispensable necessity of giving up all that is called for, that a growth and an establishment in the Truth may be attained, were held forth among them. Some unstable ones, who at one time are made sensible of Divine convictions, and then are turning away, and forgetting what manner of persons they have seen themselves to be, and taking delight in things not according to the requirements of the Holy Spirit, were tenderly entreated to renew their covenants with the Lord in the day of visitation, and seek for strength to keep them faithfully unto the end. I believe that holy help was present, qualifying to search into the states of some.

Tenth month 5th. I am sixty-three years old this day. Thoughts of the race being nearly run; and the possibility of its being brought to a close earlier than I may anticipate, produce feelings of a serious kind, and desires to be making ready for the solemn moment of death.

6th. First-day morning. Our meeting still reduced. After sitting an hour, and feeling much poverty, I was constrained to testify, that a manifestation of the Holy Spirit was given to every man, to enable him to work out his salvation. That it reveals sin in the heart, and affords the strength which alone can deliver from it. This grace and truth come by Jesus Christ; who not only was offered upon the cross, a propitiatory sacrifice for the sins of all mankind, but also purchased for all, this Divine Grace, which teaches us to deny all ungodliness, and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world. As it is obeyed, it regenerates the dark heart, and gives true faith in the Son of God, and prepares us to receive a Divine understanding of the Scriptures; which were written by holy men under the guidance of the Spirit of Christ. It alone can give a true sense and belief of them.

It felt to me that there were some present who had fallen into a state of unbelief, through the despite which they had committed against this grace; and by trampling under foot the blood of the covenant, by which alone they can be sanctified, they were nigh to denying the Lord that bought them. The great change that had been wrought in many unbelievers, who were brought to receive Christ into their hearts and to obey Him, so that they experienced, like the man out of whom the devils were cast, what it is to be clothed and in their right mind; and who then desired and loved nothing so much as to sit at Jesus' feet, was laid before them. He who appeared in the midst of his disciples, the doors being shut, and called on Thomas to put his fingers into the print of the nails, and thrust his hand into the hole in his side, made by the soldier's spear, and be not faithless, but believing, and when Thomas had done so, and said, my Lord and my God; is an omnipresent, as well as omnipotent Savior. Not only all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hid in Him; but all power in heaven and in earth is given unto Him; and He alone can give true faith, and enable, us to believe in Him, and give power to become the sons of God. Many things connected with the work of salvation, until we come to be established upon Him, the Rock and Foundation, against which the gates of hell cannot prevail, were opened.

12th. My dear wife, in company with S. C, and my brother Joseph Evans, left home to visit the meetings of Exeter, Maiden Creek, Greenwood, Muncy and Elklands. The weather was very fine, and if no accident befall them, everything seemed to bid fair for a prosperous journey, if the Lord be their guide and blessed helper which it is my hope for them will be the case.

13th. At our first-day meeting, the company was a little increased. A warning was sounded among them against a light, scoffing spirit, on the subject of religion, and respecting the conscientious scruples of men and women who fear God, and endeavor to walk according to his will. Friends were called to the work of religion in themselves; that every thing of a light and chaffy nature might be destroyed, and a solid and weighty frame of mind might take the place of it, so that they may be examples of purity and self-denial, and a standing protest against the wickedness and abominations that run like a torrent through our land. They were warned against countenancing the vain exhibitions and amusements that evil men and women, strolling up and down, were inviting the people to. Many people who make a profession of religion, make no scruple in frequenting such places, and by their example encourage others to do the same.

How can such be clear of the blood of their fellow men, while leading them into the paths of wickedness, and away from the footsteps of Christ's companions? But those who turn their back on all the temptations of Satan, and follow the great Captain of salvation, will know Him to give power over all the powers of the enemy; and that he can deliver those who sincerely desire to come unto God by him. I left the meeting under a sense of Divine sweetness and peace, in having given up to do what I believed the Lord called for, though I had shrunk from it, lest I might act without my guide.

17th. My brother-in-law, J. Rhoads, having been indisposed, I was drawn, in sympathizing with him in his lonely feelings, on account of the absence of his valuable wife, to make him a visit, and to attend their meeting. The meeting was small. Unexpectedly, the subject of the growth of trees presented to me. Planted, when like small switches, yet if properly cared for, and defended from injury, gradually growing, and finally becoming valuable for fruit, or for shade and beauty. So it appeared to me to be with trees of the Lord's planting. As they are cherished and preserved from the enemies they are exposed to, they experience a growth in grace; their root strikes downward in the heavenly soil, and they bring forth fruit to the praise of the Great Husbandmen, and finally they are established in the house of the Lord, and flourish in the courts of our God. He beautifies and dignifies such in his church, and enables them to glorify Him in their generation. They become pillars in the house of our God, that shall go no more out; and He writes upon them the name of our God, and the name of the city of our God, which is New Jerusalem; and He will write upon them his new Name. It was a day of favor; in which the hearts of some of the mourners were made glad, and the dear young people cheered to hold on their way.

28th. The unsettled state of almost all the governments in Christendom, and the excitement among Protestants, in consequence of the attempt of the pope to resuscitate the Roman Catholic hierarchy in England, showing the unextinguished craving in that corrupt and anti-christian church, for universal dominion, have a depressing effect on those, who travail in spirit for the more glorious breaking forth and spreading of Christ's kingdom in the earth. The bold effort made there, may have been permitted, to rouse up Protestants to examine how near they approach that degenerate body, in their reverence of the beggarly elements and superstitious ceremonies, that have no relation to the spiritual, regenerating religion of our Lord Jesus Christ. A further consequence may be the more open exposure of the abominations committed by the Romish church, and thereby pave the way for its downfall, and the arising of the light of the glorious gospel of Christ; before which all ceremonial rites and practices will fade away.

I have a secret hope that the Lord is at work to bring about a more settled state of our religious Society; to bring forth some whom He has been preparing to stand more openly and boldly for its christian doctrines, testimonies and discipline; and to rebuke the spirit that has been at work, to divide and scatter, by upholding those who have attempted to bring in unsound opinions, and giving liberty to go into things which the Truth is against.

After enduring much secret suffering, in which there seemed few to sympathize and to strengthen, as I sat in my parlor, waiting upon the Lord, there was a secret, undeniable sense granted, that the Lord beheld me in my trials and fears, on account of our poor Society; and my heart was comforted, and my faith renewed, that his gracious eye is constantly beholding his tribulated children. May we not hope, that the clouds with which we have been so long surrounded, are preparing to break away.

This morning, I felt an intimation to go to the Arch Street Monthly Meeting, where I had not been for many months. The advantage and safety in being brought into a humble, lowly condition of mind, in which the strength of man is turned as into weakness and nothingness, was opened before me; and after a Friend had spoken, I believed it required of me, to stand up with this matter. Though our faith may be reduced very much, yet as we do not wrest ourselves from under this dispensation, to seek relief from some outward source, the Lord in his time would appear, and by the testimony of his Spirit, enable us to say, “You, God, see me.” The precious stream of the ministry rose a little, and flowed forth, to the refreshing of not a few. The dear school children were also called upon, to obey the tender convictions of their Savior's spirit. The business of the meeting was transacted with weight, and a proper feeling of its importance; and I hope we were a little cheered with the present evidence of Divine good in the midst; and with the renewal of faith, that the light which first visited the members, and gathered our religious Society, would yet break forth in thousands; and the precious cause be spread by us in the earth. I came away with the feeling of heavenly peace, and lowliness of mind before the Lord; and therein desire to be preserved, and to give unto Him at all times, the glory and honor which are his due alone.

Twelfth month 2nd. It will be a great favor if Divine Power rises into dominion among us, so as to animate and strengthen right-minded Friends, to come out boldly on the Lord's side, and on behalf of our testimonies; that so the self-denial, the humility, the simplicity, and the inwardness of spirit, which characterized our first Friends, may be revived, and shine forth conspicuously. There is an enmity against the lowliness, which Christ leads his humble followers into; and a desire, in some, to make a show in the world; that we may be like others, and thereby the reproach of the cross caused to cease. As that takes place, our locks will be shorn; we shall become weak like other men; spiritual vision will be lost, and worldly professors will vaunt over us. But may the Lord in mercy, kindle up fresh zeal among us; bring us near to one another in the covenant of life, and enable us to put shoulder to shoulder in the support of his cause, and send forth fresh laborers into his harvest field.

18th. Poverty of spirit, and the reduction of faith have been my portion many days past. If it is of the Lord's dispensing, to lay low the creature, it is enough. He will not cast off those whom He condescends to purge, and prostrate, if they give themselves, and all they have, into his hand. There can be no higher favor, than being objects of his mercy and preserving power; and this is as truly shown to be the case, in his emptying and stripping dispensations, which bring man to feel his own nothingness, as when His candle shines upon his head, and he is filled with a heavenly sense of the Divine fulness.

1851, First month 8th. I have been renewedly confirmed in the opinion, that the pointing of the Divine finger is needful to lead us safely in visits to other meetings. Friends in every meeting, have their rights in the disposal of the business of that meeting, and any interference, in man's will and wisdom, not only may give an improper direction of subjects under deliberation, but wound the feelings of the members. It is evident that nothing but the wonder-working power of Divine love and kindness, can heal the breaches, and restore to us the paths of peace and heavenly unity to dwell in. This we must suffer and travail for in the patience of the saints, and the Lord will bring it about to his own honor and the great comfort of his people.

20th. A dear friend and his wife, called in this evening, with whom we had sweet converse upon the things concerning the spreading and power of truth, which lie nearer to our hearts than anything else. He was under a concern that Friends might more frequently visit the members, who have little opportunity of mingling with rightly concerned Friends; and encourage them to faithfulness. He thought the Society was still blessed with a living ministry; that many acknowledged it in their hearts, and he could not think it would be lost, but in time fruits would appear. He expressed a fervent and sincere desire, that Friends who felt the weight of service, and of our responsibilities, might be encouraged. I united with his views in relation to the advantage of Friends more generally visiting one another in a right spirit; and we may hope that the time is drawing on for it.

22nd. Having felt my mind turned to the Western Meeting for a few days, I went there and attended the Monthly Meeting. I was brought low, and the matter which opened before me, seemed of such close nature, I felt afraid almost to look at it. After a time it was taken away: when the great importance of watchfulness and daily prayer, that we may be preserved from losing ground and falling short in the end, came livingly over my mind, and had a humbling effect. Under a degree of tenderness, I believed it right to rise with this subject, and to express what might be presented for others, as well as myself, on the unspeakable blessing of Divine preservation in a blessed growth in the Truth, and an establishment in it unto the end. He who loved us before we loved Him, and of his mercy and power brought us out of darkness, sin, and corruption, will not forsake us, if we do not turn our back upon Him; but in the same loving kindness and tender mercy, will warn of danger. He will, as we submit and bear his dispensations, strip us from time to time, of all we have known, plunge us into a sense of our nothingness, and in this way keep us lowly and dependent, and enlarge our hearts, and knowledge of Divine things. The language of the beloved and aged apostle, “Little children, keep yourselves from idols,” revived, with the liability man might be exposed to, if he left a lowly watchful state, to idolize his natural talents, acquirements, spiritual gifts, and religious experience; and getting lost as in a mist, Satan, who can transform himself into the appearance of an angel of light, may set him to work in things which the Lord never called him to do; and finally the wrong spirit get into dominion in him, which had in good measure been cast out. I was opened and led, I believe, by the good hand into these things, for my own benefit, and also as a renewed warning to some, who had quite enough of the creature at work in them, under the garb of religion, and promoting the kingdom of Christ. It was of the Lord's goodness that the clothing of Divine charity was felt; earnestly desiring the present and everlasting welfare of every one in the meeting.

28th. For several days my mind has been under fear, and some discouragement, on account of the Society. Some overzealous ones, who are more willing to talk than to suffer, appear to have too little regard for the excellent church government which the Lord instituted among us. They do not rightly value the preservation of the Society, a united body; but throw out opinions, that indicate too little sensibility, respecting separation; as though it would be attended with little inconvenience, and no disadvantageous consequence. To me it is a source of deep sorrow, when I perceive men and women, in stations in the Society, feel and talk in this manner. Surely they know not what they do. But at times, I have a secret hope that the Lord Almighty, who raised us up a people for his honor, will mercifully hear and answer the prayers, which He begets in the hearts, I trust, of many exercised servants; and put a bit in the mouth of the enemy, who would destroy his heritage, and turn him backward. And when He sees our sufferings are, at this time, enough, grant deliverance from the snare, and renew our strength and courage to lift up the voice, for the precious testimonies and doctrines, He raised Friends to support. That so the dear young people may be comforted, and strengthened to give up their names fully to serve the Lord; and “Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the briar, shall come up the myrtle tree; and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign, that shall not be cut off.”

29th. In answering the Queries at our Monthly Meeting, held this day, there prevailed a uniting spirit, under which more than a usual travail for one another's welfare, was felt; and Friends were lively in speaking to the different subjects that came before us. If the Lord would bring down all wrong things, and clothe us more entirely with his love, so that without any dissimulation, we were one another's helpers, it would be like balm to the wounded spirit, and the bones which seem to have been broken, would rejoice.

Second month 3rd. Having passed some days with little sensible evidence of Divine good, I went to the Quarterly Meeting for business much discouraged, and with little hope that the quickening power of Christ would be felt by me. Over the men's meeting, a feeling of renewed exercise was spread; and I thought Samuel Bettle, Sr., was strengthened to call Friends back from the violations of our testimonies, which not a few had fallen into, by their conformity to the changeable fashions of the world. They were calling plainness in dress and language, the reading of fictitious books, and others calculated to poison the mind with unsound principles, and to spoil it through philosophy and vain deceit, little things; he believed the testimonies maintained by Friends respecting them, were the fruits of primitive Christianity. Departures from them created false taste; excited and unsettled the feelings; and these led to the dislike of our silent meetings; and a desire to go where preaching, and vocal or instrumental music, could be heard; which men were induced to think they could use as the worship of Almighty God. But it could have no effect, except on the animal feelings, to arouse and excite them. He opened several of our testimonies, and pleaded with the young people to prize the privileges which they had offered them, in such a Society as ours, that watched over them for good.

My brother Thomas also spoke to several points, as well as some other Friends, with which others united. I thought it my place to say, I hoped we should profit by the exercise spread over the meeting; it was an evidence that He who raised us up had not forsaken us. How fearful were we in the beginning of our heavenly journey, of doing anything against the Truth; and how desirous to know the Divine will, and to receive strength to do it. Was there not now a danger, after experiencing a little prosperity, of putting forth the hand, and appropriating the blessings of a kind Providence, to purposes, of which we should have been afraid in those days; especially in the furniture of our houses, and in our mode of living? Entering into our own condition, and being favored to search Jerusalem with candles, after having been so long contending against error without, and among others, made this meeting additionally satisfactory, and raised the hope that the Lord was beginning to work for and among us.

9th. First-day. A low time, nearly throughout morning and afternoon. Towards the latter part of the day, there was a little sensation of Divine notice and regard, by the merciful Shepherd of his afflicted people. At the evening meeting, I was led to refer to the suggestion of some, that the Society would go down; which I believed would not be permitted, but through unfaithfulness and disregard of the many offers of Divine help. “There is a river the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy places of the tabernacles of the Most High;” the sanctified hearts that have become temples of the Holy Ghost. “God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, and that right early.”

12th. At our meeting today, there was a larger attendance of children from two schools, colored and white, than is common. I felt the revival of concern for them, and was led to warn them of the dangers and temptations that await them; encouraging them to mind the convictions of the Holy Spirit in their own hearts; to shun evil company, and to keep clear of profanity, and of taking the Lord's name in their mouths improperly.

Went down to Woodbury in the afternoon, and stopped at William and Mary Mickle's. We had the agreeable company of a few Friends there; and today, the 13th, attended their Quarterly Meeting. I was engaged among them, to warn some of the deadening effects of the love of the world; and to invite others to be obedient to the clear discoveries of the Divine will, to some of whom, the language may be applicable, “Arise, shine; for your light is come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.” Were those who are thus visited by the illuminations of the Spirit of Christ, faithful to its requisitions, there would be raised among us, judges as at the first, and counsellors as at the beginning; and ministers to declare to others of the mercy and power of the Lord extended to them. What loss individuals and the church sustain, in consequence of disobedience and neglect of duty!

On the 15th, in company with our beloved friends S. and B. N., my wife and myself went to West-town School. We attended their first-day meetings. In the morning, I was led to open the doctrine of Divine preservation; and to refer to the case of Joseph, whom his brethren, at one time, appeared to be determined to destroy, but finally sold him to a company of Ishmaelites, who sold him to the captain of Pharaoh's guard. Here he was thrown into prison without just cause; and maintaining his integrity, he was there kept by the Lord, and qualified to interpret the dreams of Pharaoh's butler and baker; and eventually to experience the fulfillment of the dreams he had in his youthful days; by being made ruler in Egypt under Pharaoh. Some present were tenderly entreated to keep the faith and confidence in the Lord's preserving power, they had been favored with, which would be their support and defense, to the end as their eye was singly directed to Him. The dear children were also affectionately persuaded, to mind the warning voice of their dear Savior; by yielding to which, they would be preserved from the insidious snares and allurements of a cruel enemy; grow up in good liking before Him, and in his time be prepared for service in his church.

On second-day morning, the 17th, we rode over to Concord, and attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders.

Third-day were at the Quarterly Meeting for discipline; in which we both had some service, to our own relief, and, I hope, the comfort and strength of others. In the afternoon, the mail brought me a letter from my dear sister H. Rhoads, dated the 6th and 7th of this month, at Croydon, near London; conveying satisfactory accounts of her movements. It was pleasant to find, that amidst the trials attendant on the work in which she is engaged, there are seasons of Divine consolation, and evidences of the merciful regard of her Heavenly Father, strengthening her therein.

23rd. Throughout most of this day, I have felt little to cheer in the heavenly journey; though in the morning meeting, I did not see I should do right, without reviving the expressions of our Lord, “Except you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, you have no life in you;” “He that eats my flesh, and drinks my blood, dwells in me and I in him;” endeavoring to set forth how little outside profession and appearance will do, without the internal communion and participation of the life and substance.

Third month 2nd. First-day morning I was drawn to hold up to view, that we are placed here in a state of probation; to prove the Lord's love and mercy to us, and to be proved whether we will obey his discoveries and requisitions, and thereby glorify Him that created us, so as to be ready, having on the wedding garment, to enter the everlasting abodes of blessedness; in which I was somewhat encouraged.

10th. It is a period that calls for close watchfulness, and sincere prayer to the Lord, that the spirit of division may not be permitted to lay the Society waste. Those who advocate or enter into separation, know not what they do. I believe it is a delusion; and were self baptized into death, we would prefer suffering anything, but a sacrifice of our faith, rather than break up the excellent order of church government, which the Lord blessed the Society with, in the beginning; and which He placed around us, as a hedge, and a defense of our testimonies against the inroads of the enemy, and the allurements of the world.

21st. Our Meeting for Sufferings was held this day; in which selections from authentic documents on the African slave trade, made by a committee on the subject, were read; and directions given to print in a pamphlet, and disseminate it among the officers of the General and State Governments, and the members of the different legislatures, as well as to others. An epistle to the Meeting for Sufferings in London, was adopted, and directed to be forwarded to that body.

23rd. First-day afternoon, I felt much for the poor in spirit; the young visited ones who had but few to look up to like fathers and mothers in Christ, and yet have to encounter the temptations of a watchful destroyer. Also for those of further experience, who are surrounded with discouraging views of the state of the Society, and at times may be ready to give out and cast away their shield. A little matter arose in my mind, as I thought for these different ones; and in weakness, and fear of doing without right authority, or of leaving undone that which was a duty, I arose, and matter was furnished which, though very small at first, expanded, and I hope, contributed to the strength of some, as well as to my own encouragement.

30th. This has been a day of clouds. What can poor, feeble man do for the visible church, when conflicting spirits and views are arrayed against it? He can do little more than pour out his feelings, in sighs and groans that cannot be uttered in words; and strive to hope against hope, and to keep hold of the least shred of faith that may be left, that Divine mercy will not be withdrawn; but that in the hour of extremity, He who is called the Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace, will rend and disperse the clouds, and give rest to the weary spirit; often tossed as with a tempest, and not comforted; and bring us into a state of firmer unity, and purer love towards each other. I had some satisfactory conversation with a Friend, respecting our Yearly Meeting, and the spirit of division abroad in other parts of the Society. We were united in the belief, that our place is to stand still, and maintain the ground which we have taken, against unsound opinions and practices.

Fourth month 1st. Our beloved aged friend Sarah Churchman, being very unwell, and doubts felt of her recovery, I went to Germantown, to see her daughters. After sitting awhile at her house, I called to see Abraham Keyser, now near ninety years old. He spoke of his first attendance of Friends' meetings on first day, which were then mostly held in silence. After he was convinced that it was his duty to join the Society, he was satisfied it was right to go to the meeting in the middle of the week; and he had not suffered his business to keep him from meeting, at any time since. This is a good testimony, and what every true Friend, who lives and walks in the Truth, will feel bound to keep faithfully to. He also mentioned that while he was laboring under much mental exercise, Thomas Scattergood came out to the meeting, and spoke as plainly to his state, as if he had it all written down before him. This settled him in the conviction of what it was right for him to do, and he gave up to do it.

2nd. Today was our fourth-day meeting. After a long silence, in which I had many fears of speaking, I felt afraid to depart without reviving the expostulation of the Lord of the vineyard, “Why stand you here all the day idle? Go you also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right, that shall you receive.” That there is a work for every one to do in the vineyard of his own heart, which no man or woman can do for us, was held forth. It is they who labor that receive wages, and gather fruit unto life eternal. The weeds in the garden of our own heart are to be first eradicated, that the ground may be prepared for the Seed of the kingdom to grow in it. To be employed in finding fault with others, while our own hearts are unattended to, and the work of sanctification and redemption not going on in us, will be of no benefit to ourselves. But whatever may be our trials and discouragements, if we are faithful to the clear discoveries of the Divine will, we shall lay up treasure in heaven; and keeping our lights burning and loins girded, watching for the coming of the Master, He will in his time appear, spread a table for us, and come forth and serve us.

6th. On first-day afternoon, the essential benefit of silent waiting upon the Lord, in meeting and out of it, that our spiritual strength may be renewed, and we kept alive in the Spirit, was opened, under a feeling of the quickening power; and the humble, honest travailers for the circulation of Divine life, were encouraged to hold on, keeping the faith, and they would grow and deepen in the root.

8th. Went out to Grermantown to attend the burial of our worthy friend and helper in the Lord, Sarah Churchman. “Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord, from henceforth; yes, says the Spirit, they rest from their labors, and their works follow them.”

18th. Our Meeting for Sufferings convened this morning; and among other subjects which received its attention, was an interesting report from the Book Committee, showing the sale and distribution of Friends' books in the past year. The demand appears to increase yearly; and we may hope that the circulation of the sound gospel views which these books contain, will be beneficial, especially to seeking minds. More zeal and diligence in this good work are greatly needed. We know not where conviction may be carried home by these writings; and we ought therefore to spread them far and wide, among all classes. A few pamphlets written by George Fox, brought from the north of England into London, had a powerful influence upon many, and no doubt opened the way for the ministers of the gospel who came to that city, with a message of salvation, and who were favored to gather multitudes, to the truth as it is in Jesus.

19th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held this morning, where we had the company of an unusual number of strangers from other Yearly Meetings.

21st. The general Yearly Meeting convened, and was a large collection of Friends. Epistles from all the Yearly Meetings, except New England, were read, and a committee appointed to prepare replies. The Yearly Meeting closed on sixth-day noon. It was held in much solemnity and order, and to the great comfort of Friends. We had cause to return thanks to our Heavenly Father, for his mercy and goodness in preserving us a united body; laboring in harmony and the spirit of condescension; which had not been so fully experienced for several years. May it increase and rule among us in our future comings together.

My anticipations of this Yearly Meeting had been of a painful character; and whether such feelings are permitted to humble, and remove all confidence in everything but in the extension of Divine mercy and power, for our deliverance, or not, it was a great favor that those apprehensions were not realized; but that the controlling power of the invisible Shepherd and Bishop of souls, kept us in steadfast reliance upon Him.

30th. Our Monthly Meeting was held today, by appointment; and having had revived on my mind, at different times, in the last two years, a concern to visit some of the meetings of Indiana Yearly Meeting, particularly on the western side of it, although feelings of discouragement on account of the state of the Society attended, I believed it best to lay it before Friends for their consideration and judgment. They spoke pretty freely to it, and a certificate addressed to Friends, expressive of the unity of the Monthly Meeting with me as a minister, and with the concern, was prepared and directed to be signed by the clerk.

Fifth month 5th. This morning our dear friend Robert Smith departed this life. He was a man of a chastened and pure spirit, and of dignified manner and deportment. As he was a man of peace, very much subdued in his temper, so he went down to the grave in peace; speaking of himself a little before the close, with great modesty, yet giving proof, so far as he could be understood, that his hope in the Lord's mercy and forgiveness, was as an anchor to his soul. With a short sickness, and but little suffering, he passed away, nearly eighty-one years old, to an inheritance, we humbly trust, that is incorruptible, undefiled, and fades not away, eternal in the heavens.

The weather this morning was wet and chilling, and the Quarterly Meeting, on the women's side of the house, was less than usual; but I thought the men's a large meeting. After the extracts from the Yearly Meeting minutes were read, and recommended to the subordinate meetings, I mentioned the concern I was under, to visit meetings in Indiana Yearly Meeting, from which, at times, I was ready to shrink; but believed it right to submit it to the consideration and judgment of the meeting. The weight and unity which appeared, I thought was more than usual; it was unlooked for, and was received by me with gratitude. A suitable minute was made, and directed to be endorsed on the certificate of the Monthly Meeting. There was a covering of solemnity over us throughout.

Sixth month 2nd. Yesterday and first-day week were seasons of Divine favor; in which my Lord and Master enabled me to preach his gospel with that authority which gave evidence it was not of man; and I trust it found its way into the hearts of some goodly seeking ones, and was a renewed call to some others.

On fourth-day last was our Monthly Meeting; in which my friend Joseph Elkinton informed, that he felt drawn to accompany me in the proposed visit in Indiana Yearly Meeting; which was united with, and I hope will prove a relief and comfort to me.

5th, Was at the Arch Street Meeting; in which I felt my own weakness and unfitness to approach Him, who is immaculate purity. As the time drew near for closing the meeting, I remembered the prophet regarded himself as a man of unclean lips; and that he was commissioned to hand forth the language of encouragement to some among the degenerate children of Israel; and his language, on one occasion, was brought before me, “Comfort you, comfort you, my people, says your God. Speak you comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplished; that her iniquity is pardoned; for she has received of the Lord's hand double for all her sins.” This was applied to those who submit to the Lord's fire in Zion, and his furnace which is in Jerusalem. When they have passed through the administration of his judgments, the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, so as to have the filth purged away, and to be no longer as reprobate silver; they know all their iniquities pardoned through the blood of the everlasting covenant.

They are prepared to partake of the cup of suffering for the body's sake, the church; which at times they seem to drink as to the dregs; so that they may feel as if they received double for all their sins. But it is all for a moment; and when the blessed reward at the end of the race is granted, it is no doubt felt as light affliction, in comparison with the eternal weight of glory which the saints in light partake of. The least and lowest place in his kingdom will be enough for the tribulated spirit. I thought holy help was mercifully near, qualifying for a little service, which would be the last before setting out on the proposed journey.

Chapter XXV

1851

Religious visit to Meetings in Iowa, and other Meetings within Indiana Yearly Meeting.

1851, Sixth month 10th. Left home this morning, accompanied by my friend Joseph Elkinton, under feelings of much nearness of affection and solicitude for my dear wife and children, and a deep seriousness at the extent of the prospect before me. A visit to Iowa, and intermediate meetings, is an undertaking of importance, and produces, at times, sensations of sadness at the thought of the separation from my beloved family, and the liability to sickness or accident, to which we may be exposed; yet accompanied with the hope, that the Lord's preserving power and goodness will go with us, helping me through without hurting the cause of Christ; and it may be to the comfort of some weary ones. We rode to George Malin's, twenty-three miles, and dined with them, where we were cordially received and sympathized with for the work before us. Rode to Aaron Cooper's, in Sadsbury, before sunset, where we were kindly entertained and lodged.

11th. The weather fine, we left our friends about seven o'clock; dined at a tavern two miles beyond Lancaster, rested two hours, and by evening got to a tavern near York; having passed through Columbia, and crossed the Susquehanna on a bridge, about one and a quarter miles long; the distance forty miles. Wrote home to inform our friends how we got along; and being much fatigued went to bed early, and sleeping well, was much refreshed.

12th. We had a rough ride, after leaving York about three miles, through several small towns, and in the afternoon, crossed the South Mountain to the cold springs; where we found tolerable entertainment. The temperature of the water, as it issues from the spring, we were told, is forty-eight degrees, and when it gets to the baths, about fifty-one degrees. They are resorted to by invalids from various places; and the use of the water, and the exercise taken in the mountain atmosphere, are often very invigorating.

13th. Rose early in the morning, and rode eleven miles to breakfast, at Chambersburg; from there over the Cove Mountain, to McConnelsburg, twenty-two miles. It took about two and a half hours to cross the mountain, from Loudon to the latter place; they are eight miles apart. Rode to Reamer's, at the bottom of Sideling Hill. This mountainous country presents scenery that is grand and impressive to those who are not familiar with it. The people in general, so far as we discover, live in a rough manner. Some have good dwellings and farms, but many appear to obtain barely the means of subsistence. This was not an agreeable stopping place to us; but we have been favored to travel with much satisfaction, the weather being cool and dry.

14th. Rode over Sideling Hill to Snell's, six miles, and breakfasted; from there up the Juniata River, eighteen miles, to Bedford. The road along the river was good, the water on one hand, and the hills on the other, of bold ascents; some of them presenting rocky fronts, imparted a romantic character to the scenery, softened by the flowing of the beautiful stream at our feet. We were glad to find ourselves at Bedford about one o'clock.

We rode to Dunning's Creek, the road rough and hilly. In one place, where it had been dug on the side of a precipitous hill, it was so narrow, that we thought it safest to lead the horses, as a little variation from the track, might have precipitated us over a steep bank. Our friends received and accommodated us kindly.

15th. Being first-day, and notice having been spread of our intending to be at the meeting, a larger number of persons assembled than is customary. There seemed for some time but little of that religious exercise and feeling, which ought to be found among true worshippers, in this gospel day; and yet I believe the Shepherd of the sheep was not unmindful of us.

After sitting some time under a state of barrenness, the importance of every one being daily engaged in the work of their own salvation, came before me, with the intimation to stand on my feet; and the way gradually opened to lay before them the nature and need of this work; which is of more consequence than anything else in this world. A degree of solemnity spread over us, and some were brought into tenderness on the occasion.

Went to the house of a young Friend to dine, and in the afternoon, had a religious opportunity with the children, and several others; in which they were invited to increased dedication to the Lord, and his cause, both for their own soul's sake, and for the sake of those around them. Lodged at a Friend's, to whom, and his parents, our visit appeared to be acceptable, and I trust comforting and cheering.

16th. He piloted us to Shellburgh, and put us in the way to get on, what they term, the mud pike, which we supposed was made by throwing up the earth from each side, to make a good clay road. But our disappointment was great, at finding ourselves upon one of the stoniest and roughest roads, in this part of the country. Rode about thirty-seven miles today.

17th. Rode to Lexington, from there crossing Laurel Hill, we continued on over Chestnut Ridge, a high and tedious range, and withal so stony and rough, that we feared our carriage would be broken. It was indispensable, for the relief of the horses, that we should walk over many of the hills; which made the journey laborious. Within the last thirty years, much clearing of the forest has been done, in some of these mountainous districts, and in fifty more, it is probable, this will be made a beautiful and productive country, as the means of the inhabitants increase, and the mode of farming is improved. Large droves of cattle and flocks of sheep, are driven on these roads, to the eastern markets, and the pasturage in summer, and the feed on grain in the fall, afford a market for the farmers on the road. After dining, we rode to Connelsville on the Youghiogheny River, and from there to a place of private entertainment, which afforded tolerable accommodation.

18th. Rose early, and made our way to Brownsville, part of the way on the National turnpike, which was in good order, and during the day travelled forty miles.

19th. Travelled the same distance, to St. Clairsville, in Ohio.

20th. Got to our friends B. and M. Hoyle, near Barnesville. Here we were visited by several Friends, whose society and conversation were cheering.

21st. Got some repairing done to the carriage, and made some calls.

22nd. We attended the first-day meeting at Stillwater, which was a pretty large company. We seemed to sit in a dry place, for a long time, under the feeling of which, I feared the people were not sufficiently engaged in travail of soul for themselves, but were looking to be fed or satisfied through others. Such a state was spoken to, and the indispensable need of this labor for their own salvation, pressed upon them. The honest travelers were encouraged to keep to their Lord, and to be faithful to their gifts, and they would finally receive a crown of life. What avails the mere practice of coming to meeting, and holding the principles of Christianity, if we are swallowed up with worldly thoughts and pursuits, and have forgotten the dew of our youth; going after the perishing things of time; which I was afraid was the case with some.

In the afternoon, B. H. and wife, and J. B., accompanied us to a Friend's house, near Smyrna, intending to pilot us to Owl Creek. Here we were told that E. S. H., who had frequently appeared in the ministry, spoke that morning for some time in their meeting, acceptably to Friends. Soon after sitting down, he was taken with apoplexy, and about five o'clock died. This solemn event affected me, leading to serious reflections on the uncertainty of life; but as I had left all that is dear to me, under the belief of religious duty, I was kept from desponding of the mercy and protection of the Lord Almighty, and endeavored to keep an eye to Him, and to the work before me.

23rd. Took leave of our dear friends, and rode to Coshocton; parts of the road over mountainous hills, which made traveling tedious and wearisome.

24th. Having rested well, we drove on to Millwood; most of the way on the banks of Whitewoman River and Owl Creek; the road good. That night we got to a Friend's house in the settlement, near the meeting-house.

25th. Attended Alum Creek Preparative Meeting of Ministers and Elders held at this place; in which I was led to make some observations on a case before it, touching the care to be observed towards persons appearing as ministers; both as to hastening their reception into these meetings, or in too long delaying it, when Friends are satisfied that a gift in the ministry has been bestowed. The discernment and sense which the Holy Spirit gives to those who humbly wait for its guidance, is the ground of right decision; and that is to be looked, for by those, whose duty it is to judge in these cases. It appeared to me, that the desire to fill the ranks of ministers and elders, at this day, arising in part from the idea, that the cause of Christ depends mainly for its support on much activity; and also, it is to be feared, from a change of opinion, in not a few, respecting inward spiritual religion and worship, is involving the Society in great danger.

26th. After the Scriptures had been read this morning, by one of the parents, I felt drawn to speak on the importance of rightly discharging their duty. The need there is of watchfulness and prayer, that they may be endued with wisdom to govern the children, and to example them, so as to do nothing we would deem improper in them. Like Abraham, to command our house, and our children after us, to keep the Divine law. The children were reminded of the serious responsibility which attaches to them, for the right occupancy of the measure of grace, purchased for them by the Savior; and for the advantages of membership in the Society of Friends; and they were affectionately invited to faithfulness to that precious gift, and the improvement of the privileges they had.

Attended the Monthly Meeting; in the first meeting, I was let down under a view of my own weakness, and unworthiness, and I believe all ability for vocal service was withheld in Divine wisdom, for my own sake, as well, it may be, as for others. In that for discipline, after some Queries were answered, I was led to advert to the nature of our testimony to silent worship, and the spirituality of the gospel dispensation; and endeavored to encourage Friends to maintain right exercise in their religious meetings; and though the number may be small, who are thus faithfully engaged, yet the declaration of the Savior would be realized, “Where two or three are met together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” In the afternoon, we rode to W. H.'s, Jr., but the young man who undertook to pilot us, having missed the way, part of which was through woods, we did not arrive there until after dark. The family received us very kindly, which was the more grateful, as we had been under some uncertainty whether they were the Friends we were inquiring for, and whether we should succeed in finding their residence.

27th. Notice was sent over this morning to Weston, appointing a meeting at three p.m.; which was held to some satisfaction, though the number of exercised members appeared to be small. It scorned to me, that Friends were in danger of substituting a verbal profession, and activity in some benevolent objects, in place of that daily, inward travail of soul for the bread and water of life, which can alone keep it alive unto God, and qualify to fill up the measure of service the Lord designed us for in the world, and in the church. I was impressed with the belief, that the Lord would send forth messengers, as in the rise of the Society, to gather the members back to practical obedience to the Light of Christ in the heart. We took tea with A. S., and lodged at J. M.'s, near neighbors, who appeared to be sincere-hearted Friends, and glad of our company.

28th. Piloted by W. H., we rode to Gilead; and in the afternoon, attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. I sat among them in emptiness; but towards the close, felt engaged to hold up to their view the great importance of the stations which they occupied, both to themselves and to the flock. There are dispensations meted out by the Head of the church, for our renewed humiliation, to strip us of what we have been entrusted with, to let us see and feel our own nothingness, and to prepare for further service when He sees meet. In this condition, we are to abide the Lord's time, not daring to stir up or awake our Beloved until He pleases. When we have waited his time, we come to know Him, by his quickening power, to be unto us the resurrection and the life. It is a great favor to be kept, from the beginning to the end of our heavenly pilgrimage, in this lowly, travailing state, and to see greenness in old age. It was to be feared, that for lack of being willing to endure the baptisms of the Holy Spirit, some have trusted in themselves and their early experiences, and have lost ground, and not attained that establishment in the Truth which they would have been favored with, had they continued as when in the child's state. There are right hand as well as left hand errors, and it is needful to guard against the insinuations of Satan, who sometimes seeks to destroy the good work, by persuading that we are unfit for it; even when the pointing of the Divine finger is felt, to engage in it. But we are to lay hold of the degree of faith furnished; and moving at the Lord's bidding, we shall know Him to be mouth and wisdom unto us. I thought the little service made its way into the hearts of some and opened them towards us. After meeting, we accompanied our elderly friends, W. G. and his wife, to their humble dwelling, where we were kindly entertained.

29th. First-day. At Alum Creek Meeting; in which the doctrine of humility was held up to view, as inculcated by our Savior, when the disciples had come to Him saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven;” and “He called a little child unto Him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, verily, I say unto you, except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” And when the mother of Zebedee's children desired that her sons might sit, one on his right hand and the other on his left, in his kingdom; He replied, You know not what you ask; and let them know that it was only to be given to them for whom it was prepared of the Father. The desire for eminence and notoriety, either in the world, or in the church, cannot be indulged by the truly devoted follower of Christ. His concern is, to be made and kept what the Lord would have him to be; and if he perseveres steadily, he will be brought to see more and more clearly, that his safety depends upon constant resignation and obedience to the Divine will. I was very unusually and unlooked for, led to treat on this momentous subject; and the meeting closed with prayer for the diffident, honest-hearted ones among them, that they might be strengthened with might in the inner man, to hold on their way faithfully; and for the young people, that they might open their hearts to the King of glory. Dined, and in the afternoon returned to Gilead.

30th. Was held Alum Creek Quarterly Meeting. In the meeting for business, many spoke to the subjects brought before it. After they were pretty much through the business, I felt drawn to revive the prediction, “In that day the Lord of hosts shall be for a crown of glory, and a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people; and for a spirit of judgment to him that sits in judgment, and strength to them that turn the battle to the gate.” I observed, that if this prophecy is fulfilled at the present time, it ought to be in our religious Society. Our early Friends were brought off from all human dependence, to wait on the Lord for ability to act in his cause and his church; and they knew Him to preside among them, and allot to his servants their respective portions of the labor. One of them said, “In Babylon there is the likeness of everything that is in Zion.” They saw the deception, and rejecting the mere image, they sought for the substance. I felt afraid that some, even in the appearance of love and unity, were in danger of mistaking the show of it for the reality, which is only known by the truly baptized members of the church of Christ. The young men, many of whom were possessed of good talents, were invited to wait for Divine direction, to enable them to take their proper places in the church; some to be mouth, and others as ballast, to keep all steady; every one minding the Pilot, that the bark may be guided safely.

Proposing to go into the women's meeting, a Friend was named to accompany me, and the Master qualified me to preach the gospel of salvation by Christ, to the young people; who were pleaded with to yield to the calls of his grace, and come to Him.

Faithfulness in the discharge of their duties, was pressed upon the mothers, that as far as in their power, they may prepare the children to receive the Seed of the kingdom; and that when the end came, whether the children regarded the entreaties and exercise of their parents or not, they may be clear; having the testimony of the Lord's spirit, that they had done what they could. It was a tendering time with some. In the afternoon, rode eleven miles, and lodged.

Seventh month 1st. Rode forty miles to Lewisburg; and on the 2nd, had an appointed meeting there; which was a season of favor, some disconsolate ones being encouraged to resignation, and to believe that He, who can bind up the broken-hearted, will remember them, sanctify their afflictions to their benefit, and as they give up to Him, will in his time, lift up their heads in hope. An elderly woman Friend rose, and said with some fervor, that she could set her seal to the truth of the testimony just borne. Dined with H. W., and in the afternoon rode eleven miles to Goshen.

3rd. We had a pretty large meeting, composed of persons who appeared to be much strangers to the inward life of religion; which makes hard work for the poor servant, without obtaining much relief. In the afternoon, we had another at Westland, about three miles distant. The doctrine of salvation, through the coming of Christ in the flesh, and by his Spirit in the heart, was enforced; and a dependence on a mere profession, without this inward work of sanctification, was warned against. The people were affectionately invited to come into the living experience of this heart-changing work; that being partakers of that saving faith, of which Christ is the author, they may be made witnesses of his power and goodness, in setting them free from sin, and bringing them into that state of perfection, which the gospel inculcates. Divine help was extended, enabling me to relieve my mind and to depart in peace.

4th. Rode to Garmel. The meeting was small. After waiting some time, the language presented, “Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.” I was enabled to speak to such a state, recurring to the poor widow in the time of the famine, who was gathering some sticks to bake for herself and her son, the last pittance of meal, expecting to die after it was partaken of; but obeying the direction of the prophet, to prepare a cake for him first, she experienced the supply to be continued, until the Lord sent rain on the earth; and so it would be in a spiritual sense. The obedient soul would not be suffered to perish; but keeping the faith in those low seasons, renewed supplies of heavenly bread would be furnished, as it is patiently waited and labored for. My mind was then turned to those who were full of business, in providing for the body, neglecting the work of their salvation, living as without God in the world, and striving to collect much about them. But all their earthly possessions could not procure for them one crumb of heavenly bread, or a drop of living water. And what will they do when the pale messenger is sent to their habitation? Prepared or unprepared, they must go to their everlasting reward.

Although it was distressing to enter into the condition of such worldlings, yet it seemed right to warn them of their danger; and such were called upon, if it was even the eleventh hour, to enter into the vineyard of their own hearts, and labor to have everything removed that was choking the good seed, and obstructing its taking root and growing there.

5th. Set out pretty early this morning, and rode forty-seven miles to West Branch, in Miami county. We dined, and fed our horses at a farm-house on the road, but did not reach the Friend's house to which our guide took us, until sundown.

6th. Attended West Branch Meeting, being first-day. The weather being wet, and no notice spread of our intention of being there, the company was small. The necessity of living in the fear of the Lord, in order to experience preservation, was inculcated. It is not beginning and running well for a time, that will do for the true christian, but by dwelling in humility, asking preservation of the Lord, and minding his warning voice when temptation is presented, that safety can be known.

Notice having been spread for a meeting at Mill Creek, at four o'clock, distant about four miles, we went there. Found a company collected, few of whom were Friends, but they sat in a becoming manner. It is a trial to be the means of convening those who are expecting words, little acquainted with silent waiting on the Lord, to receive ability to offer spiritual worship; but keeping still, with a single eye to Him, He qualified me to preach the gospel of life and salvation through Christ, in his outward appearance in the prepared body, and his spiritual manifestation in the heart, as the great Baptizer of his children; bringing to remembrance many passages of scripture in support of the practical efficacy of that religion, of which He is the author, and will be the finisher, in the obedient soul. It was to my admiration and the solemnizing of the people. Thanksgiving for his mercy and condescension to us, poor unworthy creatures, and prayer for continued preservation, were offered up to the Lord Almighty; and I humbly hope, under the puttings forth of his Spirit. We went home with W. D. J., who received and took care of us, in a kind and affectionate manner; which is very grateful to travelers, far from their connections and home friends.

7th. Stayed with this aged Friend to get our horses' shoes attended to; the top of the carriage painted; the dry, hot weather having cracked the paint, so that it leaked; also to refit ourselves a little. This Friend told us he was once a member of Bush River, in South Carolina; and within a few years had travelled there in a wagon, to bring away some colored people who had been freed from slavery; and in going, they slept out in the woods most of the time. He brought away three, with their certificates of manumission. In a town of Kentucky, they were surrounded, he said, by thirty men, who, probably, supposed the negroes were runaway slaves; but the proof of their legal freedom was such, as to deter the men from stopping them. I thought it was a striking instance of devotion to the cause of the injured African. After his parents came into Ohio, then a wilderness country, he was employed in wagoning produce to Cincinnati, on the Ohio River, and bringing away store goods. There being few or no bridges across the rivers, they had to ford them, or to swim their horses and wagon through.

In the latter case, there being several teams in company, he said, they tied down the body to the axle-trees, to prevent it from floating off; and attaching six or eight horses to a wagon, with a rider to each span of horses, they would swim the whole through the river, and in this way cross those streams. It was their practice to lie out at night, carrying their food, cooking utensils and bedding with them. He stated that at one time, he was out, when the snow was from one and a half to two feet deep; in which with their loaded wagons, they could make but from four and a half to eight miles a day. When evening came, they selected a suitable place to encamp; and after unharnessing and feeding the horses, leaving them to lie down in the snow, they cleared a place for themselves, kindled a fire of bushes and small timber, took their suppers around the fire, and then spreading out their bedding, they lay with their feet to the fire, the heavens and the earth being their covering and their bed. He thought it was a very healthy way of sleeping. When the weather was rainy and the ground wet, they cut branches and bushes, to raise them from the water on the ground, and placed their bedding on them. The Friend appeared to be a healthy, hardy old man.

8th. Had an appointed meeting at Concord; which was small; chiefly made up of the few Friends residing there. I endeavored to do what appeared to be required, but it was rather a laborious time. Several Friends dined where we did, and the man being a large farmer, we had conversation on the influence which much business has in drawing the mind away from the great object of our creation; preventing us from performing the duties which the Lord requires of us, and filling the sphere He designs us to occupy, so that we may become the salt of the earth and lights in the world. The education of children in a guarded manner, attending to the proper cultivation of their minds, so as to prepare them for usefulness in the world, was enforced; as well as the great importance of parents setting them a right example by religious lives and conversation; instances of the effect of which were mentioned. One Friend present told my companion he thought it was not lost time that had been spent there. Went to J. C.'s, about six and a half miles; not far from Uniontown.

9th. Attended Union Meeting, being the Preparative Meeting, which was large. The state of some, whose faith was closely proved, was impressed on me; and after waiting for a time, under the fear of over-acting, or suffering the meeting to pass without doing what I ought, I rose with the expressions, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all,” and dwelt on the benefits derived from our trials. “Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son that He receives.” After entering into the necessity of these dispensations, for man's refinement and preservation, I was led to those who knew nothing of these chastenings; who were without their changes, and were living in ease and indifference; and those who are without chastisement, are not the sons and daughters of the Lord. Many of these go into the earth, and are covered as with thick clay; so that they are in danger of entirely losing the tenderness and sensibility which they knew in the days of their youth. It appeared to me, that the inordinate pursuit of the things of the world, had brought a cloud over our religious Society, as well as over other parts of Christendom generally. We were planted a noble vine, wholly a right seed, in the beginning; but were now in danger of becoming the degenerate plant of a strange vine. Some were solemnly warned of the consequences of worshipping Mammon, and reminded of the testimony of Christ, that we cannot serve God and Mammon; and of all that we can collect of this world's goods, we can carry nothing out with us.

I was enabled to declare the truth in the authority thereof, expostulating with the worldly professors, and in entreating the young people to serve the Lord. Two Friends confirmed what had been said.

After the meeting we went to the house of a Friend, where we remained until the following morning, and found his home an agreeable stopping place; there appearing to be more mental culture in his family than in some others, judging from their reading and deportment. Where we meet with those who are religiously exercised, however simple their habits may be, our hearts are united to such, and their humility, and the innocency of their spirits, render their society agreeable.

10th. Was at Lick Branch, which was small, owing in part to its being harvest time, and the weather frequently wet, so as to make getting their grain housed, very precarious. It was a good meeting to me, and to some others. One elderly Friend said he was glad I was there. Lodged at J. H.'s, who, with his wife, appear to be concerned Friends. They expressed their gladness of our visit.

11th. We took an affectionate leave of our friends, and rode five miles to South Fork, where we held an appointed meeting; chiefly made up of persons not members, and a few Friends part of them from other places. It was not a very animating time to me, though some manifested their satisfaction, for whose strength and preservation intercession had been made to the Father of mercies. This evening a Friend came from Lick Branch, to pilot us to New Garden.

12th. Set out pretty early for New Garden, in Indiana. Some parts of the way being flat, and the ground peculiarly liable to be cut in very deeply by traveling on it in wet weather, the inhabitants have been in the practice of covering them in some places, with logs, not hewed, which makes extremely rough riding. We reached F. T.'s a little before sundown, and were frankly received; I having been there about eight years before. We found him an intelligent Friend, concerned for the maintenance of our religious principles; and he appeared to be alive in the Truth. I felt much distressed on entering Indiana, not knowing how we should get along, yet desiring to be Divinely guided in the way the Lord would have me to go.

13th. Attended New Garden Meeting in the morning; to which I walked in the feeling of great poverty, yet in hope we should meet with a body of lively, spiritual worshippers, with whom we could take comfort. In sitting with them, the life of religion was felt to be low; but after a time of struggling after good, it appeared right to address the language of encouragement to those who were sensible of their condition, and oppressed with the indifference around them. Then the state of these worldly ones, coming before me, warning and entreaty were extended to them. I left the meeting under feelings of depression, thinking that little good had been done; but I endeavored to keep patient and resigned. In the afternoon, we had a meeting at Newport, about a mile distant; where we found a number of Friends, who appeared to be tender-spirited, and with whom I had a relieving opportunity, and parted from some of them with feelings of interest and affectionate regard. We rode that evening to W. B.'s, at Lynn, accompanied by two agreeable, kind Friends.

14th. Had an appointed meeting at Lynn, which was largely attended; I thought by some who were seeking after good; to whom I was enabled to minister in the openings of the Holy Spirit; and to hold up to some, who had entered into covenant in their early setting out, that if the Lord would give them bread to eat and raiment to put on, He should be their God, and they would serve Him, that now having increased in their estates, they were in danger of being caught with the snare of the fowler, and to love their possessions, instead of the great Giver. But He was watching over them, and secretly warning them; and they were exhorted to go to Bethel, like Jacob, and renew their covenants, that they may be delivered from the snare, and be preserved from losing their standing in the Truth. I was thankful for the supply of matter, and the ability to communicate it in the gentleness of Christ. There appeared to be a tender feeling produced in some, who I hope, were comforted.

Returned to W. B.'s, dined, and remained here to attend the burial of a woman Friend. The company went into the meeting-house; and I felt drawn to labor to impress on them, the solemnity of such events, and the necessity of laying them to heart, that each one may be prepared for the close of life when it comes to them. But how easily do such impressions pass away! The indifference shown by many, to the subjects of religion, and the importance of preparing for death, is very distressing; and almost induces the thought, that little benefit results from all the labor we pass through.

15th. Rode over this morning to Cherry Grove, where we had an appointed meeting; in which I was enabled to set forth the nature of spiritual worship, which stands in communion with the Father and Son; not only when assembled to perform the duty publicly, but also in daily waiting upon the Lord for the renewal of our strength. The inward work of religion is greatly lost sight of by many among us; and the testimony of our early Friends, that the professors of their day, acknowledged some of the truths of the gospel, while they lived as they listed; and how Friends were brought to forsake all, and wait upon the Lord, by which they were enabled to hold up the ancient gospel in life and precept, were opened in this meeting. Friends were called upon to examine, whether there was not a danger of going back into the condition of those formal professors, instead of advancing in the spiritual and Divine life. They were pleaded with, in the love and gentleness of Christ, to search into their condition, and come back into the inward, daily waiting upon, and communion with God, for the renewal of their strength, by the bread and water of life, which come from Him. It was a day of favor, and the truths delivered could not be gainsayed. A Friend piloted us to Economy.

16th. Attended Springfield Preparative Meeting, held at Economy. Notice of our being in the neighborhood having been spread, some strangers came in, and I had rather a laborious time, in opening the doctrine of obedience to the Divine will, revealed in the heart, as the ground of preparation for acceptance with God; and the way by which the work of sanctification is carried forward, and we become acknowledged by Christ, as He owned his disciples; “Whosoever shall do the will of my Father, which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.” Afterwards I was brought to bend the knee in prayer for the poor in spirit; for the rebellious, whose souls are also precious, and for the dear young people. I hoped the truth gained some entrance; but oh, the lifelessness of very many who go under our name. We dined in the village, with a doctor and his wife, who were very kind, and in the afternoon, piloted us twelve miles to Flat Rock. At the first house where we stopped, and had expected to put up, we found they had scarlet fever; and thinking it not proper to add to their cares, or to expose ourselves to the liability of taking the disease, we went to a neighbor's who took us in.

17th. Attended Flat Rock Preparative Meeting; in which for a time, it seemed to me there was so little life among them, that I thought I had scarcely experienced such feelings of discouragement. But finally it appeared necessary to sound an alarm among them, and leave them to the Lord. This afternoon it rained and blew hard, with lightning and thunder, very heavy; but being desirous of getting on our journey, we set off, and got to the house of a Friend, near Spiceland, about dusk where we were refreshed by the kind entertainment of his family.

18th. This morning we were piloted to the National road, and then set out, without a guide, westward. The road was softened by the rain, which made the traveling heavy, until we reached the plank road, east of Greenfield. We were disappointed in the appearance of the country, which was but little improved, in many parts, and to us, presented rather a dreary aspect. Dined, and fed our horses at this village; and after suitable rest, set out on the plank road; over which we moved faster than we were aware, so that we got to Indianapolis before six o'clock. Here we received letters from home which were cheering, giving good accounts of the health of my family. It appearing too early to put up for the night, we went on and stopped near Bridgeport, and lodged.

19th. Rode to Plainfield, and dined, then went to E. W. H.'s, who had been at my house a few years since, with J. H., then on a religious visit in our city. It was pleasant to see him in his own habitation, where we were comfortably accommodated; he and his wife being Friends of religious experience.

20th. Attended Spring Meeting, to which they belong; which was a pretty large collection, but noisy and unsettled, by fretful children, and persons running out and in. It was a laborious time, but little entrance seeming to be made into the hearts of the people. We went home with A. H., and stayed with him, and his kind attentive daughters, until the next morning. It was a house, where I thought the Son of Peace was to be found.

In the afternoon, our friends E. W. and C. H., came over to see us, with whom we passed the time in agreeable converse. The country here has been heavily timbered; so that some farms surrounded by the forest, seemed to be inclosed with wooden walls; obstructing any distant prospect, especially where the surface is pretty flat; and, consequently, creating in a stranger, the feeling of loneliness; there being little or no improvement within view, beyond the farm we may be on.

21st. A religious young man having offered to accompany us to Rockville, in Park county, we set out, and rode to a suitable place for dining, and feeding the horses. The weather being cool, it made traveling pleasant; the road pretty good, except where they had covered it with logs over wet, flat land.

Our stopping-place was a house of private entertainment, the residence of a farmer, where they had plenty of wholesome provision, and he served us with politeness and respect. “We reached S. A.'s, near sunset, having travelled about forty-one miles. He and his wife received us very frankly. We had conversation with him, respecting the traveling through Illinois, and found that at this season of the year, he apprehended there would be no difficulty; and he offered to accompany us the next afternoon to the Vermillion settlement, on the west side of the Wabash River; which we gladly accepted. We were now getting very many miles from our beloved families and homes, and the prospect of soon entering upon the prairies, brought over me sensations of loneliness, as I walked out into the woods, and there recurred to the countenances of those I held most dear to me in this world; and to the risk of accident and disease, to which we might be exposed. But there was a secret support, and a trust raised in the merciful and compassionate Shepherd, who sees us wherever we are; and as we have nothing in view but to do his will, He will renew our faith, and defend and carry through all, to his honor and praise, and our sweet peace.

22nd. This afternoon we crossed the Wabash River in a scow, where we saw evidence of a recent freshet, which had spread over the flats; and, we understood, had made crossing very difficult. A few miles from the river we came to an arm of one of the great prairies. Viewing the expanse appeared like looking out to sea; there being no object in the distance to rest the eye on, for miles, but grass. The thought of being out on such an extensive plain, which seemed to have no limit, and the possibility of missing our way, was rather dreary. Towards evening, we got to W. H.'s, within the limits of Hopewell Meeting.

23rd. Attended their Preparative Meeting; in which I was brought into sympathy with some tried ones, who had difficulties to contend with; and was favored to speak, in the humbling openings of the Holy Spirit, as I believed, to the states of such. I was also led to call on some others, to examine whether they had the same tender feelings and desires, to walk in obedience to the manifested will of God, which they felt in the days of their early beginnings; or whether the enemy was not working as behind a screen, to immerse them in the pursuit of the world, and thereby destroy their growth in the life of righteousness. I was thankful for the Lord's condescending regard to me, a poor creature. I thought their answers to the Queries were prepared in a suitable manner, on those subjects, and was comforted with the meeting.

24th. Attended Vermillion Meeting. Notice having been spread, a pretty large company collected. It appeared right to hold up to them the distinction between works of benevolence and kindness, which unregenerate man can perform, and a submission to the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, by which man is made free, and kept free from the spots of the world. Divine help was present, qualifying to enforce the necessity of this spiritual, inward work, as the only way by which we shall come to the knowledge of God and of his Son Jesus Christ, which is life eternal.

Dined at I. S.'s, and found it a pleasant stopping-place; his wife appearing to be a mother in Israel. In the afternoon, we rode through the prairies four and a half miles, to Pilot Grove; so called from its being seen across the flat country, several miles, from certain points, and serving as a beacon to travelers to steer their course by. Here we had a pretty large meeting of Friends and others; to whom was set forth the fruits of the religion of Christ; in subduing and regulating the passions and evil propensities of fallen man; and the blessed results of kindness and tenderness for one another, and the purity and righteousness, which are produced by religion, were shown to them. The people generally seemed to be such as needed to be taught the first principles of the gospel of Christ. The weather was extremely warm and oppressive, which exhausted me much; but it was a comfort to have the day's work peacefully accomplished. We stopped a short time near a Friend's house, who, with his wife, proposing to accompany us, had to call at home before setting out; we then rode seven miles to Ellwood, where we lodged.

25th. We had an appointed meeting here; which was quite large on the men's side. After a season of patient waiting, the Lord gave ability to open the doctrine of Friends, on the subject of Divine worship; the necessity for all to be gathered, when thus assembled, into a humble, inward waiting for Christ; to know Him to prepare our offerings; which, if only a broken heart, and a contrite spirit, will be regarded by our Heavenly Father. These humble, struggling ones, will be at times baptized by one Spirit into one body, and made to drink into one Spirit; and if two of them shall agree touching anything they shall ask, in the name of Christ, it shall be done for them, said our Lord, by my Father; for “where two or three are met together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” The discouraged and mournful ones were exhorted to keep the faith, and to struggle on, and they will be helped, and see of the travail of their soul. I thought the hearts of some were comforted; and the meeting was closed with prayer for Divine support and preservation; and for the renewal of the faith of the lowly ones; and for the dear young people, that the Lord would visit them by his blessed Spirit, and defend them from the power of temptation; that there may be a band raised up to support our principles and testimonies. We dined with two Friends who had removed from Ohio and now lived near this meeting; and in the afternoon were conducted to L. D.'s, near Georgetown.

26th. This morning we set out on our lonely journey across the State of Illinois, and were shown over some prairie land to the western road, at Butler's Point, by L. D.; where we parted from him, and pursued the most open track. Through the morning, we got along pleasantly; the road being generally plain and good; dined at a poor tavern, in a village called Homer.

After giving the horses proper rest, rode through a strip of woods; crossed the Big Vermillion Creek twice, once on a bridge and once we forded it; and in the prairie, which we then entered, we had several sloughs to go through, where the draft is hard for the horses. When coming to those soft, muddy places, it is usual to turn towards the head of the marsh, and drive on the high grass, which keeps the carriage and horses from miring; and thus they get round the deepest and most swampy part. This seemed very uncertain work to us, being entire strangers to such traveling; in a boggy country, where we cannot discover to what depth we may sink; and where, at times, the horses had to put forth great effort to draw us through. After crossing that piece of prairie, we stopped at the first house; and while there, a man came up with a cart and pair of oxen, and soon inquired how we had got through the sloughs; saying, he supposed that he had drawn with his oxen, fifty vehicles out of them, this spring. We were not aware of our danger of being set fast, this being our first day's travel alone there. Going on our way, we felt our lonely situation, exposed to difficulties, when no house might be within several miles; but endeavored to do the best we could, and put our trust in our Heavenly Father; in the belief we were in the way of our duty, and He would enable us to go through. Reached Urbana by sundown, having ridden about thirty-seven miles; and put up at a good tavern; kept by an Ohio man, who treated us respectfully, and provided well for us.

27th. We left soon after breakfast; at once entering a prairie, in which the road was good; forded the Sangamon Creek, at a piece of woods; a clear beautiful stream. On coming out of the timber, we entered a prairie, said to be fourteen miles over; which, in some directions was like looking over an ocean of grass; nothing to be seen in the horizon. We made slow progress; some of the surface being rolling, and others marshy, which we crossed, with considerable effort on the part of the horses; and a little after twelve o'clock, reached an inn on the western edge of the prairie; a good deal overcome with the heat. By driving slowly the horses bore it very well; but the sun shining with great fervor, and it being first-day, we were best satisfied to remain at the tavern, until the next day, which would afford us rest.

It was distressing to find the low condition of many, in relation to their religious and moral obligations. Foolish jesting and idle conversation fill up much of their time. They are idle in their habits and disregard the duty of public worship. To be compelled to mingle with persons of little education, and rather low standing in other respects, is a trial we have to submit to, in some of these places of public entertainment; and it requires care to avoid joining in with their frothy conversation, or in any way strengthening them, in their irreligious feelings and habits. Our sobriety, at least, should bear a testimony to the excellency of our holy, undefiled religion, and against their loose spirits and practices.

28th. Rose pretty early, and got our landlord to take his horse and lead us round through the grass, where there was no road, to avoid getting swamped in some bad sloughs, which, he told us, lay between his house and the next village. It was quite a relief, and we got to breakfast at Le Roi, thirteen miles; dined at Bloomington, and supped and lodged at Concord, forty-one miles altogether; a poor place for entertainment. Here we made inquiry of two men, at which ferry on the Illinois River we had better cross; but they differed in opinion; both, however, giving very discouraging accounts of the state of the roads near the river, so that we were much at a loss to decide.

29th. Rain fell in the night, and the road was muddy, and the morning very dull. Rode to Lilly's, six miles, and roused them up to get us breakfast. Dined at Groveland, where we met with a young man who had crossed the Illinois River this morning, and who gave us an accurate description of the course we must take, when coming in sight of the river. After dining, we travelled about eight miles to a bridge, which had been partly swept away by a great flood this spring; and had we not been furnished with explicit directions, it did not appear probable, we should have driven safely through the terrible sloughs, or avoided the impassable places; in which we were told travelers had become swamped, and broken their carriages; from whom, exorbitant sums had been extorted, by men concealed there, to be called on in such emergencies. When we arrived there, we saw horses saddled, and wagons standing, but no one in view except a boy, looking out of the bushes, as though he had been placed there to watch if any one should get into difficulty. It seemed like wreckers looking out for plunder; and I considered it providential, we had met with a person who could direct us how to act, so that we were enabled to follow a track, which took us safely through, though in miry and deep holes, and led to the water edge; and that we reached the boat safely, after driving into the river perhaps sixty or one hundred feet. We landed at Peoria; rode through the town, and obtaining directions, got to a brick tavern, six miles farther on, where we were pretty comfortably entertained.

30th. Set out about half-past four in the morning, and breakfasted at Travoli, twelve miles; dined at Fairview, sixteen miles; the road wet, and in some places cut into deep holes. Rode eight miles to Spoon River; crossed it in a flat, which was short for the wagon and horses; but we got over safely. The ferrymen on these rivers are mostly rude and profane. It was affecting to hear their bad language; giving the impression, that they are regardless of religion, and the necessity of the work of salvation. Rode to a place called Virgil, about five miles; where we were pretty comfortably accommodated.

31st. Set out early this morning with the assurance that the road was good; but we found it far otherwise. The small bridges were in bad condition, and many of the marshy places were difficult for the horses to draw through. On a prairie ten miles over, there was a space two miles wide, we were told, very much covered with water, and no road visible in many places, so that we could not be certain we were in the right track; but, by the compass, we kept a west course, and finally got through the swampy ground, into a plain road, much to our relief. We procured tea and bread and meat, at one of the log cabins on the prairie, but were so long detained, that we did not reach La Harpe, until near supper time. We met two carriages, just as we entered the swamp, and asking the men what kind of road ahead, they replied, “As bad as it can be.” Our horses had a hard draft, through the mud and high grass; and if any accident had happened us, we should have been in great difficulty, as there was no house within several miles. It was cause of gratitude, that we were favored to escape in safety, from such a dreary place; where we could not see what we were driving into, whether holes or inextricable sloughs. Lodged at La Harpe.

Eighth month 1st. Rose early and got to Pontousac, fourteen miles; on the river Mississippi; where we were furnished with a good breakfast, and then rode six miles to the ferry opposite Fort Madison, in Iowa. The ferrymen detained us several hours, on the bank, waiting their time to cross the great stream. We regretted the loss of time, as we wanted to reach a settlement of Friends this afternoon, but could not; and, getting directions in Madison, we went five miles to a farmer's, and found some difficulty in prevailing on the people to take us in; we supposed from what passed, on account of the cholera, of which, we were informed, there had been several deaths in Madison; but finally they consented; and except the lodging, we were made pretty comfortable.

2nd. After breakfast we travelled about eighteen miles to J. B. H.'s, at East Grove, and put up with him and his wife, who were truly kind to us.

3rd. Being first-day we attended New Garden meeting, four miles distant, in the morning; where we met with some Canada Friends at whose house we had stayed when in that country. They were truly glad to see us in this western land. O. S., an elderly man, also from Canada, but now belonging to Salem, was here, and said a little after me; enforcing the doctrines delivered. In the afternoon had an appointed meeting at East Grove. In both these holy help was extended, enabling me to preach the Word to the people; several of whom showed their unity, by the cordial manner of greeting us after the opportunities.

4th. Rode to Salem; where our horses were left, in order to rest and recruit; one having been lamed. Others were attached to our carriage, and J. P. drove us out to Chestnut Hill, where we had an appointed meeting; to which was brought the largest number of infants that I think I ever saw in a meeting of the same size. Returned to Salem and lodged at J. H.'s.

5th. We were taken out to Cedar Meeting, which was a large company, who sat in a sober manner, but I felt for a long time as if we might hold the meeting in silence; remembering the advice of the apostle, “That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after Him, and find Him, though He be not far from every one of us; for in Him we live, and move, and have our being.” The way was finally opened, for showing that this was the object of our thus assembling together; not to deliver lectures, nor to hear them delivered; for no man can do anything to promote his own salvation, or that of others, independent of Divine aid. Our business is to gather to Christ, that we may know Him to minister to our condition. Afterwards the necessity of the new birth was opened, and of being clothed with the righteousness of Christ; which He brings forth in us by the effectual workings of his Spirit; and of our final, complete justification by the washing away and pardoning of our sins by his blood. The effect of the doctrines preached, must be left to the Lord; but I believe there were those present who drank in and united with them. Dined at S. H.'s, near the meetinghouse, and after a religious opportunity with his family and some others, we rode to J. P.'s, who resides about half a mile out of Salem.

6th. This morning a Friend attached his horses to our carriage, and set out with us for Richland; which is about thirty-five miles northwesterly from Salem. When about eight miles short of the town, he drove into a deep prairie slough, of tough, black mud, nearly up to the hubs of the front wheels, and in endeavoring to draw it out, the force of the horses broke one of the swingle-trees, without removing the carriage from the slough.

We then fastened a rope and straps to the axletree, and hitched the traces to them, and had the horses been true to the draft, they would, we thought, have drawn it out; but they threw themselves into another hole, and finally broke the tongue. It was mortifying, after having travelled so many hundred miles, without any material difficulty, to have our carriage thus broken; and to be placed where we could not extricate ourselves about three miles from any house, and evening coming upon us. Had not a man and his wife, the latter a Friend, whom we had seen at Cedar, come in sight, we must have been obliged to leave our carriage, and walk a considerable distance, before getting under any roof. Their coming seemed quite providential, as they had intended to remain two or three days on a visit to their friends; but the wife mentioning to her husband a desire to be at their Monthly Meeting, he assented to it, and they set out the same day with ourselves. He secured our carriage to the hind axletree of his wagon, and having good horses, when we had pried up the wheels, to loosen them from the mud, they drew the carriage out with ease. The Friend with us mounted one of his horses, Joseph got into the wagon, and I was seated in our carriage, and between nine and ten o'clock we reached J. H.'s. It was cause of gratitude to our Heavenly Father that we were thus brought safely to the house of kind friends. We expressed our gratitude to the man, and our desire to compensate him, but he was glad to be the means of rendering us such acceptable service.

7th. Attended Richland Monthly Meeting, which had been lately established as a Monthly Meeting, and was a pretty large company. I felt low and discouraged; far from home, and among strangers of various character; but after a woman Friend had spoken, the language was brought before me, “The foundation of God stands sure, having this seal, the Lord knows them that are his;” and waiting in fear before Him, I believed it right to revive it, and to show that whatever may be the trials of the faithful, those who are built on this foundation, are known of the Lord, and will experience his sustaining power to be underneath. I had to treat on the importance of keeping with Christ in his temptations; being willing to suffer with Him, as the Seed in the hearts of the children of men, both for our own humiliation, and for the sake of others. I believe the humbling power of Christ was over the meeting, and touched the hearts of some. Friends conducted their business in a solid manner, which was a comfort to me, as they had held but few meetings before; having been set off from Pleasant Plain. We stayed another night at J. H.'s.

8th. Notice having been given for a meeting at Rocky Run, four miles distant, to be held at nine o'clock; and our carriage being repaired, we set off and had a satisfactory time with Friends and others, who met there; chiefly in the way of encouraging the sincere ones, to be faithful to their Lord; by which they would prove that godliness is profitable to all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come; keeping the duties of religion uppermost, and the things of the world in their proper place. Here substantial happiness is enjoyed, by walking with God in this life, and when the end comes, the full fruition of it in the world to come. Went to a Friend's house near by, where we were comforted with the appearance of the children, and a feeling of peacefulness. After leaving we rode to Pleasant Plain, over a rough road, washed in many places, and attended a Select Preparative Meeting. Went to J. A.'s; a pleasant stopping place.

9th. Attended Pleasant Plain Monthly Meeting, throughout which I was silent, until just at the close of that for business. The Friends where we lodged treated us very kindly, and we felt it a comfort to be thus cared for, when far from home.

10th. We went to meeting this morning. I endeavored to keep inward, with my eye to the Lord alone, and after some silence, the expressions of our Lord in his address to the Father were presented to my mind: “And this is life eternal, that they might know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent,” attended by the impression to rise with them; and I was enabled to preach the gospel in Divine authority; that this saving knowledge of God and of his dear Son, is only received through the revelation and operation of his Spirit, in the heart of man. Our Lord declared that, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” No one can give himself a true sense and sight of his condition, as he stands in the fall. It is the Lord from heaven, the quickening Spirit, who is the resurrection and the life, that alone can quicken man, and make him rightly feel his lost and sinful state. As man submits to Him, He opens the blind eye, enabling him to see himself in the true light; gives him the power to turn from sin; to repent of his past evil deeds; destroys the kingdom of Satan in him, and sets up his own everlasting kingdom in place of it. It is thus man is brought to see the kingdom of God, being made a new creature; old things are done away, and all things are made new. The new heavens and the new earth, wherein dwells righteousness, are brought forth in him. In this heart-changing work, he livingly knows God and Christ, by the powerfully redeeming and sanctifying operations of the Holy Spirit. This is the knowledge that is life eternal to the soul. Some of the exercises which the redeemed soul passes through, in its heavenly pilgrimage were further opened; and the meeting closed with humble, reverent prayer to the Lord, for his continued mercy and preservation, in the trials to which we are subjected, and wherein Satan seeks to destroy the blessed work which the Lord had begun in us. It was a solid time; and we returned to our lodgings, humbled and thankful that the Lord had owned his cause.

11th. Before leaving our comfortable sojourning place, we had a little opportunity with the parents and children; in which they were reminded, that here we have no continuing city, and of the importance of seeking one that is to come; laying up treasure in heaven. The children were entreated to mind the convictions of the Spirit of Christ, that they may be preserved from temptation, and become what the Lord would have them to be; and in conclusion, with tender feelings, I was led to express the desire, that the blessing which makes truly rich, may rest on the heads of the parents, and upon their beloved offspring; which had a melting effect on all of us. After taking an affectionate leave, we set off for Salem; where we arrived in the latter part of the afternoon, some parts of the road being very bad. It was pleasant to take up our residence again at our friend J. P.'s.

Chapter XXVI

1851

Continuation of Visit in Iowa, etc.

1851, Eighth month 12th. Was held a Select Preparative Meeting at this place; in which I was drawn to speak of the authority and qualification for true gospel ministry. That every one who had received the gift, was to speak as the oracles of God, and to minister the same in the ability that God gives; and no man takes this honor unto himself, except he be called of God, as was Aaron.

13th. Attended the Monthly Meeting here, in which I was silent, except a few remarks in that for discipline.

14th. Went to East Grove Monthly Meeting; the forepart of which was silent. In the latter, I said a little on home education—the necessity of restraining the children from wrong things. When the meeting had gone through the business, I was led to hold forth the language of encouragement to some exercised ones; and to persuade those who had not submitted to the restraints of the cross, to yield to Him who is represented as a refiner's fire and as a fuller with soap, that they may partake of the blessed result, as described in the prophetic address: “Comfort you, comfort you, my people, says your God. Speak you comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned; for she has received of the Lord's hand, double for all her sins.” Dined at J. D. H.'s, with a considerable number of Friends, and in the afternoon rode to J. T.'s, at New Garden, who had accompanied us to Richland and Pleasant Plain.

15th. Returned to Salem, and attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, in which I was silent.

16th. Went into the town, and was at the Quarterly Meeting, which was large. After a season of silent waiting, and several had spoken, the simplicity of the means which the Lord makes use of, to carry on his purposes, was presented to my mind, and though clothed with weakness, and my faith low, I believed it right to stand up, and say what the Lord furnished me with. The simple means by which the leprosy of Naaman was cleansed, and the clay by which the blind man's sight was restored, were brought to view; and that without obedience to the command given in those cases, neither the leprosy nor the blindness would have been removed. So in the work of grace in the heart, obedience to the little requirings of the Holy Spirit must be yielded, or we cannot be cleansed from the leprosy of sin, or receive spiritual sight to discern our fallen condition, and the way out of it. Submission to the washing of regeneration is indispensable to the salvation of the soul, and without it we cannot be prepared for usefulness in the church of Christ. We must be changed men ourselves, before we are prepared to aid in changing others. Divine kindness was extended, enabling me to open some things, relating to the efficacy and spirituality of the gospel, and the way by which alone we can be partakers of it. The meeting sat about six hours, which was rather wearing; we returned to our lodgings and rested.

17th. Being first-day, many, not members, came to the meeting, which was large. Several spoke pretty early. A feeling of sympathy with the honest-hearted, exercised ones, and with those who have outward trials, was brought over me; and I was led to remind Friends, that our Savior did not promise his disciples freedom from suffering in this state of being; but He said to them, “In the world you shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” It may be safely inferred, that He designed to encourage them to believe, that as they persevered in following Him, they also should be made overcomers, through his Spirit and power. It was a season of mercy, in which help was renewed, to open many things pertaining to the faith and patience of the christian; for which I was humbly thankful, and the meeting closed under a solemn feeling; many Friends showing their unity in taking leave of us.

In the afternoon, we attended a meeting here, appointed for the young people, by a stranger. Returned to our quarters, took an affectionate farewell of our kind friends J. P. and wife, and rode to S. H.'s, on our way to Cedar County.

18th. Rode forty-two miles, and put up at a house of private entertainment.

19th. We were up pretty early, and drove to a poor tavern to breakfast. The landlady offered as an excuse for her provision, that a large number of Indians passed that way, a short time before, and consumed nearly all they had in the house. On setting out, two carriages in company with us, we were told the road to Iowa City was good; but to us it was very disagreeable.

We drove through ponds of water, out of one of which it was with great effort our horses drew us and the carriage, slipping and falling, as they attempted to rise up on the banks, which was alarming. The sloughs were wet and numerous; but we got safely through. Dined at a Friend's house at Iowa City; which has a few brick houses, but is located where it is difficult to foresee how it will ever rise to much magnitude. It is, however, remarkable, that so much progress has been made in some towns in this new State, as we have found. Today we rode about forty miles, and put up near where Friends hold their meeting.

The residences of the settlers in this place, scattered over prairie land, are chiefly log buildings; the settlement being several miles in extent. In the summer season, while the grass is green, the country, with the cabins and little surrounding improvements dotted over it, has a picturesque appearance; yet to a stranger, it gives a sensation of lonesomeness.

Whether it has been the design of Divine Providence, that Friends should be pioneers in the settlement of new States is, on some accounts, doubtful to me; persons, who generally take the lead, being often of the description which need the care of religious society, instead of being really qualified to set up and hold meetings, to the honor of Truth. Yet there have been instances, of meetings being gradually collected and settled by Friends of religious experience, which have prospered. In some places, it is to be feared, that the spirit of discernment has been lacking, and persons have been acknowledged as ministers, who have not had the gift bestowed upon them. These have fed the people with words, that have not been with the Spirit, and with the understanding also; and thereby, that which ought to be slain, has been fed and kept alive; and the people loving to have it so, they have exalted and idolized such preachers, to their great hurt, and the injury of the flock. What a deplorable effect has this had upon the Meetings, and how different from the heart-searching and baptizing ministry that has been known in parts of our Society.

20th. Attended Red Cedar Meeting, composed of middle-aged and young people, settled here within a few years. I did not feel that exercise among them, so generally, as might have been expected from those, whose living and habits are simple. There were some, who, I believe, are under a religious concern for themselves, and the cause we profess to be called to uphold; but they lack fathers and mothers to take them by the hand; and unless great watchfulness is maintained, will be in danger from the snares which may be placed in their way. I had some service, but it did not yield the relief experienced in some places, yet hoped it was from the right source. We went to S. S.'s, and dined, with whom we had comfortable feelings, from the persuasion they were honest-hearted Friends. In the afternoon, he and M. O., set out with us as pilots, and to aid us on our way to and beyond the Mississippi. We rode twelve miles, and put up at a tavern, near Cedar River.

21st. Crossed the river in a flat; the owner of the ferry was not willing to take any fare from us; we went to J. C.'s, to breakfast, about eight miles. Just before leaving them, we had a little opportunity with him and his wife, to press on them the necessity of attending to the great business of life, the salvation of their own souls; and to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Rode to Muscatine, a town on the bank of the Mississippi, where we crossed the river. We found the road and bridges, along the flat bottoms on the east side of the river, had been torn up by recent freshets; and though somewhat repaired, it was disagreeable traveling on them, and we were disappointed in finding the road so obscure as it was in some places. We got dinner at a private house in the prairies, and as soon as it was suitable, went on for Millersburg, which proved to be about six miles further than stated to be on some of the sign-boards. Towards evening we came to a creek, where the bridge had been swept away, by a fall of rain ten days before, causing a terrible freshet; and turning back, we got a boy to show us where they forded the stream. We succeeded in driving through, and up on the bluff, where a temporary road turned so abruptly among the timber, that it was difficult to drive, and we did not reach Millersburg until dusk; where we had to put up at a mean tavern, with poor accommodations; the fare for the horses, and supper and lodgings for ourselves, being hardly bearable.

22nd. Rose pretty early, but were detained in getting shoes on one of the horses; breakfasted at a farmer's, five miles on the way. Set out under some discouragement, from the accounts we had of the streams, and rode five miles round, to cross on a bridge over Edwards Creek. Forded Pope Creek, where it was difficult for the horses to rise up the bank out of it, and about noon reached a dining place; where we got further instructions respecting the road. We had many sloughs to pass, and after riding about two miles, were detained nearly an hour, while one of the company went in search of a private bridge, over which to cross a stream, in our course. Towards sunset, we reached a brick farm house, in the edge of a wide prairie, and put up for the night; being weary with riding, and the anxiety produced by the many disagreeable, miry places; from which the horses, when they find themselves sinking, spring forward, as if they would break the carriage or harness. The people here were kind, and made us welcome and comfortable; and the head of the family appeared to be better informed than most we meet with in this new country.

23rd. When breakfast was prepared, our host told us it was their practice to have family devotion or prayers, but perhaps it would delay us too long. We made no reply, not wishing to interfere. He got the bible, and read a chapter in the Revelations, in which it is said, they that keep his commandments, shall enter in through the gates into the city. When he stopped, I felt engaged to express my approbation of the practice of reading the Holy Scriptures, but that it was also necessary to put in practice the commands contained in them. That although we had not as great measure of the Holy Spirit, as the prophets and apostles, who wrote them, yet the same spirit that inspired them to write, was given to us, to teach us to deny ungodliness, and the world's lusts, and to live soberly, righteously and godly, in this present world. I desired the parents might remember, that here we have no continuing city, and the importance of walking in the fear of Almighty God; setting their children an example of holiness; and that they might come under the government of their Savior. That they should keep his commands, as made known in their hearts; and when the end of all things here arrived to them, the fear of death would be taken away, and through the mercy of God in Christ Jesus, the gates into that glorious city, and the arms of everlasting Love, would be open to them. When I closed, the old man said, “Will you join us in prayer?” I answered, we believe it is our duty to pray continually, by the help of the Holy Spirit; but we also believe it requires a special intimation of the Spirit, to place ourselves on our knees in vocal prayer. He made no reply, went on his knees, and the family with him; but we kept our seats.

In the course of his prayer, he petitioned that the lecture, as he termed it, might be blessed; asked the aid of the Holy Spirit to enable them to resist temptation; prayed for our preservation; and that if they and the strangers should not meet again in this world, we might meet in heaven to part no more. He appeared to be a man of some religious understanding. We sat down to breakfast, and he made some enquiry respecting the faith of Friends, particularly on the divinity of our Savior; to which I gave him answers; and we regretted that we had left all our tracts in Iowa, and so were not able to give him a printed account of our principles. We parted with friendly feelings. Our faithful friends continuing with us, much to our comfort, we rode through Henderson to Knoxville, dined, and fed our horses. There the road being good and plain, so that there appeared no difficulty in getting on alone, we took an affectionate leave of them and rode to Tucker's, a private house for entertainment of travelers; where we obtained good lodgings.

24th. After breakfasting, and receiving directions respecting the road, we travelled twenty-four miles, to another farm house, where they give entertainment. These people were from Pennsylvania. From there we rode to Peoria, and crossed the Illinois River, on the bridge that had been repaired; but the road through the bottom on the east side of the river, was still in a bad condition, so that it was difficult and unpleasant driving through it. Glad we were to be leaving it behind, and that the space between us and our beloved families was gradually narrowing. Eight miles from the river we put up for the night at Groveland.

25th. Hearing that Mackinaw River was raised, and could not be forded where we had passed it on our way out, we rode down the stream three miles round, to a miserable bridge, that looked ready to tumble down, and by twelve o'clock got to Concord, a cluster of half dozen houses, and dined. In the afternoon passed Bloomington, and reached Bishop's, a private house; where we found good accommodations for ourselves and horses.

26th. Rose early and went to Le Roy, nine miles, to breakfast. The wind came out of the north, in the night, and it was cold riding this morning. Between breakfast and dinner, we crossed two wide prairies; one fourteen miles, and the other eight or nine miles; in which we had some large sloughs to pass; which made traveling, in some places, disagreeable; the water and mud under the wild grass being deep and laborious to the horses. Dined at a decent house near the Sangamon River, and having eleven and a half miles to ride to Urbana, set off and got to our quarters before sundown. It was cheering to be brought safely back to the inn, where we lodged, the first night after beginning our prairie journey without pilot or company. We were well received by the inn-keeper, who seemed anxious to please his customers.

27th. We had forty miles to ride, in order to reach I. S.'s, and finding the sloughs a good deal dried, we pushed on, and got to his house by sundown. His valuable wife came out to us as we drove up before the door, saying, “I am glad to see you;” I replied, “I am glad to hear you say so—we are thankful for the kind reception of Friends, and that the Lord has brought us back safely thus far.”

28th. Being their week-day meeting, and fatigued with steady traveling, we concluded to rest with them until to-morrow morning. The meeting was not so large as when we were with them before; but unexpectedly, it was a time of comfort and encouragement to the sincere travailers. We dined at J. H.'s; and in the afternoon went with I. S. and wife to their widowed daughter's, who resides with two little children on the prairie, about two miles from her parents.

Passed the afternoon peacefully, though under feelings of sadness, at the lonely situation of this young woman, who appeared to be an exemplary Friend. After taking tea, as we sat together, a word of sympathy and encouragement arose, and was handed to her. When we returned, we pleaded with the parents, to remember her lonely condition, and if way opened for it, to get her nearer to them before winter. But while we were at Richmond, attending the Yearly Meeting, we were informed she had been attacked with disease, prevailing in that part of the country, and was removed, I trust, to a better world. It seems mournful, that such good examples, of whom we stand in great need, are taken from us by death, as they are apparently preparing for service in the church. Yet we are poor, shortsighted creatures, and know not what she and her friends may be spared, by her being gathered beyond the reach of temptation and danger.

29th. Before leaving these kind and hospitable Friends, this morning, for the east side of the Wabash River, the family sat down with us, and the Lord furnished me with matter for their different states; so that we had a tendering time together, and parted under feelings of mutual, affectionate regard. Rode over to W. H.'s and dined, and on leaving, had to deliver some counsel to the parents and children. Then set out with him, as pilot, to S. A.'s, which we reached a little before evening, and remained there during next day; needing a little rest and some re-fitting.

31st. Attended their first-day meeting; in which it seemed to me the life of religion was low, among many who made a show, and were active in some things of an outward nature. The necessity of partaking of spiritual food, and spiritual drink, and laboring for it individually, was brought before them, as that alone which can sustain and nourish up the soul unto everlasting life. There is great danger of relinquishing this labor for the bread which comes down from heaven; which the Son of Man only can give, and trusting in a mere acknowledgment of the truths of the gospel; leading a life of morality; reading a chapter in the Scriptures daily, and attending religious meetings. I felt distressed among them, and came away without feeling that there were many true travailers in the meeting. Dined at T. M.'s, who took us to D. N.'s, at Poplar Grove, where we had notice spread for a meeting on second-day. The Friends were kind, and entertained us heartily in their simple, comfortable way.

Ninth month 1st. The weather clear and very warm; went to the meeting under feelings of depression. The company was about double the size of their usual meeting, and they sat very quietly. I felt drawn to stand up with the prayer of one formerly: “Lord, make me to know my end, and the measure of my days what it is, that I may know how frail I am,” and I labored among them according to the ability received, endeavoring to strengthen the sincere-hearted in faithfulness; warning the young people of the dangers of evil company, and inviting them to receive the visitations of their Savior, and to follow Him in the way of the cross. Returned to D. N.'s and dined; and in the afternoon he and his wife accompanied us to D. H.'s, at Rush Creek, which is a woody country, some parts of the road passing through the wilderness; in which we should not have supposed there were many persons settled. We forded Sugar River, a little above the place where a Friend, a physician, was drowned a few weeks before, during a high freshet; the river running with great force. We were kindly received by the Friend and his wife, and felt comfortable in spirit under their roof.

2nd. We had a meeting at Rush Creek, which was large. It seemed difficult to conceive where all the people came from, so much of the land being yet covered with timber. The warm weather relaxed me much, and feeling exceedingly empty, and my faith low, I was discouraged from attempting to engage in the work of the ministry; but I was constrained to stand up; many things were brought before me, and utterance given of matter I had not thought of; even to my admiration, and to the solemnizing and tendering of some present. So that I had reason to rejoice a little, in the midst of poverty, and the apprehension that few have ears to hear, and hearts to understand; but the testimony of Truth is to be borne under Divine authority, and left with them. We dined near the meeting-house, and then rode back over Sugar River to N. N.'s, at Bloomfield, and put up. He told us he was in his eighty-fourth year, and when the notice of our intended meeting at Rush Creek came to him, he mounted his horse and rode seven miles to D. H.'s, and delivering it, returned home without taking dinner. On a previous occasion he delivered the notice for a meeting to another person to forward, and it miscarrying, he was determined to take this himself to the right place.

3rd. Attended the regular meeting at Bloomfield; in which I was much borne down with a lifeless, formal spirit, trusting in creaturely performances, and greatly neglecting the inward, spiritual work of religion. It appeared to me there was a disposition in some, to despise the sanctification of the soul, by the cleansing, baptizing power of the Holy Spirit, and to adopt, in its place, a mere literal belief of the truths of Christianity, as explained by their own wisdom and learning; and to lead people away from the hope of deriving the true and saving knowledge of Christ, by the operative power of his Spirit in the heart.

That dark and subtle spirit was felt to be at work in this place, with great deceivableness; and after speaking of the favor it is to have humble, lowly travailers preserved among us, who are brought to mourn over themselves and the degeneracy among us as a people, I was led and enabled to bring to view the deceivable workings of this spirit, and to contrast, with its erroneous imaginations, the purity and powerful efficacy of the inward, regenerating religion of Christ, where He is received as the teacher, and feeder, and captain of his people. It is only in His school that we are livingly taught the truths of the gospel; know them to be applied to our state by Him; and receive from Him that faith which gives the victory, and by which we truly believe the testimony of the Holy Scriptures, and experience Him to become our Savior and Redeemer. It felt to me there are those of our Society, who dislike this spiritual doctrine, and hold it in contempt. Such will turn away others from the truth, and if they persist, will fall themselves into increasing darkness. But the time will come, when the worm that dies not, and the fire that is not quenched, will bring them into deep distress, unless they are favored to repent, and turn their back on all their delusions.

Our carriage requiring some repair, we lodged the second night at N. N.'s, and had some conversation with the old Friend; in which he took occasion to express his fears, that changes were taking place, unfavorable to the support of the ancient views and practices, that prevailed among Friends in former times.

4th. Set out early this morning to meet our kind friend, D. N., who had consented to pilot us over to Mill Creek. He was detained, and the weather being warm, and the road rough and hilly, we got on slowly, so as to be in the evening before we reached our lodgings. Just before dusk, one of our horses got a hind foot fast between two logs, on a rough bridge; which threw him down, and though he made two or three violent efforts to extricate it, which we feared would have broken his leg, we were obliged to hold him down, while one pried the logs apart, before it was loosed; and glad we were to find that he walked without limping. We were alarmed at the prospect of losing our valuable creature, and considered it a favor that he was not ruined. It occurred about half a mile from our friend A. H.'s, to whose house we led our horses, and he and D. N. went back with his horses, and brought the carriage. It was a fatiguing day's journey of forty miles; but being received with cordiality by our kind friend and his attentive daughters, we were refreshed and compensated for our wearisome travel. I mentioned my desire to hold a meeting at Mill Creek tomorrow, and our friend offered to go over at once to one or two members, and enlist them in spreading notice in the morning; which showed his goodwill, as it had then become late in the evening.

5th. We went to meeting. The query put to the children of Israel, was brought before me, “Your fathers, where are they; and the prophets, do they live forever?” I thought there was among them too little concern, that inward, spiritual worship should be performed and maintained. I endeavored to do my duty; but the feeling that rested upon me, respecting the low state of the meeting, was depressing. As we rode from it, I asked A. H. whether they had any minister or elder belonging to the meeting? He said none, except an old woman in the station of elder, who lived part of her time here, and part within the limits, of a distant meeting; so that it might well be said, Your fathers and mothers, where are they? What a condition for a large meeting to be in? What have the young people around them, to animate them to make choice of true religion, and to come up in the footsteps of the flock of Christ's companions? We dined at a Friend's house, about a mile towards our stopping place; where we had the company of E. W. Hodson and wife, who belong to Spring Meeting. In the afternoon returned to A. H.'s, and lodged.

6th. At Springtown, we were met by E. W. H., and went with him to their home; dined, and in the afternoon, one of his sons piloted us over to West Union, about twelve miles, where we lodged.

7th. Attended their meeting, which was large, being first-day. The subject of spiritual worship came before me, and rested on my mind some time, but I could not see my way clear to attempt any public communication. The meeting was continued about the usual length of time, in silence, and I felt very peaceful in leaving it; with a heart clothed with love to the people; trusting there was a reason for it, and that it would be a benefit in showing our testimony to spiritual, silent worship.

Dined at a Friend's house, and went to Highland Meeting at three o'clock. Here I passed through some fear of speaking, or of keeping silence, from the suggestions of Satan, that there was not sufficient motion to speak; which brought me into some conflict of spirit; but finally I believed it right, to stand up, with the blessings pronounced by the Savior, upon the poor in spirit; upon the mourners, and those who hunger and thirst after righteousness; and to show that they apply to the Lord's poor, those whom He strips and empties; who mourn over their condition; and as they abide under his humbling, baptizing hand, will hunger and thirst after the bread and water of life. These are very different from the rich and the full; full of their attainments and ability to judge and act for themselves. The life rose into some dominion, and gospel truths were a little opened, I hope, to the benefit of some. We went to a Friend's, and lodged.

8th. Had an appointed meeting at Bethel, a newly established meeting. The testimony that a man's life consists not in the abundance of that which he possesses, was revived; neither does the strength of a people, or a society, depend upon their numbers. There is no substantial peace or happiness, but in living and walking in the Truth, neither is there any other ground of strength in a religious body, but in living under the government of the blessed Head of the church. Here only are we preserved amidst the trials and temptations of time; enabled to keep the outward blessings in their proper place, and to witness a growth and an establishment in Christ, the Shepherd, Rock and Foundation of his people, individually, and as his church. The dangers of being swallowed up in a worldly spirit, were plainly spoken to; and the importance of being solid, grave, exemplary christians; not light and frivolous, talking about trifling things, so as to turn the young people away from Christ, instead of drawing them to Him, when they are brought under his convicting power. Some appeared to be brought under religious feeling, and were tendered.

9th. Had a meeting at White Lick, which was an unexpectedly large company. The house is a brick building, put up to accommodate the Quarterly Meeting, and has a neat appearance, very creditable to the members.

After a season of waiting upon the Lord, the temptations and dangers to which even the believer, who has attained to some steadfastness and experience in Christ, is exposed,—like standing upon a sea of glass, mingled with fire,—were a little opened to their view. Though the Lord's tender mercies are over all his works, we cannot expect preservation without watchfulness and prayer, walking in lowliness of mind before Him. All self-sufficiency, and relying on past attainments, must be relinquished, and a willingness lived in to be emptied and stripped, by Him who knows our infirmities, and what baptisms and reductions are needful for our refinement and growth in Divine Grace. Some things relating to the work of regeneration and sanctification, were brought before them; and the meeting was concluded with vocal prayer for Divine regard, and for the Lord's sustaining power in Our trials.

Went back to our lodgings and dined. Just before we left, two Friends coming in, we fell into silence, and the departure of a large proportion of our members from that inward exercise for themselves and for the right support of the cause of Christ, which every one ought to experience, was alluded to; and the desire expressed that those present might keep to it. Where are those travailing ones, the mourners in Zion, the burden-bearers among us? Many seem not to understand the doctrine of regeneration, and daily suffering; such a state of ease has come over us. A Friend, being provided for guide, we rode to A. B.'s, near Easton, and lodged.

10th. Attended their usual meeting here; in which I thought there were some who are sensible of poverty of spirit, and were longing for the appearance of their Lord, that they might partake of the comfort of his presence, and see the prosperity of Truth spring forth among them. To these a word of encouragement was held out. Returned to A. B.'s and dined. In the afternoon went to Fairfield, and held an appointed meeting, at half-past three o'clock.

The company that came into the house was a mixed one, and unexpectedly large. The expressions of the prophet, “He has shown you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God,” came before me, and after endeavoring to try the fleece, I stood up with the passage. The opening of several subjects to this mixed assembly was unexpected; and, I hope, that useful impressions were made on some minds. After the meeting, A. B. and wife took us to M. S.'s, at Sugar Grove whom we found an open, pleasant Friend, glad to have us at his house. The cordiality which this Friend manifested, was grateful to our feelings.

11th. We were at Sugar Grove Preparative Meeting; in which the indispensable work of inward sanctification, and daily waiting upon the Lord, for strength and preservation, were enforced; and the danger of relying upon a literal, or educational assent to the truths of the christian religion, without the inward work, was declared among them. I was fearful that some were too self-confident, and not acquainted with daily walking in the path of humility before the Lord. Returned to M. Stanley's, and dined. Before leaving, we had a religious opportunity with the parents and some of their children; in which the sense of true fellowship was felt, I believe, on both sides.

12th. Had an appointed meeting at Lick Branch, which filled the house. I labored among them in the love of the gospel, that they might experience an entire redemption from the world, its delights and treasure; and was enabled to pray for old and young; that the Lord would renew his work in some of the former; that they might be brought in, even at the eleventh hour of the day, and at last be favored with a true hope of admission into his glorious kingdom in the end; and that the young people might be gathered from the many snares which surround them.

We went home with D. W., an aged member, and dined. A son-in-law died in the house a few weeks before; and on leaving them, I thought it my duty, to remind them that such a dispensation not only called the one from time to eternity, but should warn survivors of the business of life; which is, to glorify their Creator, and to prepare for their solemn end. As we were to have no meeting to-morrow, and were expecting to find letters from home at Indianapolis, we concluded to ride there this afternoon, being about nine miles, and on a good road, and put up for the night at a suitable hotel; a member of Richland having agreed to meet us there next day, on his way home, and pilot us to the house of Z. C, residing at Richland. To my great relief, I received letters, which gave information of the health of my dear wife and children, and strengthened me to try to hold on to the end of the service, as it might be required of me.

13th. The Friend calling for us as he had engaged to do, we set out for Richland; the road being very dusty and the weather warm. About noon, we stopped on the bank of White River, fed our horses, and took some food, which the Friend and his wife had brought with them. We got to Z. C.'s, about the middle of the afternoon, being sixteen miles north of Indianapolis; and found him and his wife to be very kind and pleasant Friends. Two of the sons and their wives being there on a visit, and the house not large, we were afraid of incommoding them; but where there is a willing heart, apparent difficulties can often be accommodated, and true enjoyment felt on all sides, which we proved to be the case here.

14th. During the night the weather changed; being cloudy and blustering, with lightning and distant thunder, so that the mercury in the thermometer fell many degrees. We concluded to have notice spread at Richland this morning, being first-day, of our intention to hold a meeting there, in the afternoon; including Friends composing a small meeting recently set off from this, a few miles distant; and at a suitable time, we left for Westfield, about five miles further north. No notice being sent of our coming to this meeting, and the weather being chilling, it was less than usual, as we were informed. Endeavoring to cast myself upon Him, who cares for us, He was, after a time of waiting, pleased to furnish with ability to preach the everlasting gospel; showing the necessity and importance of being baptized into Christ, and witnessing the fellowship of his sufferings; preparatory to rising with Him, into newness of life. Also pleading with the young people to take his yoke upon them, and learn of Him, who is meek and lowly of heart.

We dined, on the way back, with two Friends; and E. E., a Friend from New Jersey, with whom I had been acquainted, belonging to this meeting, came with us. Then rode to Richland, and attended the appointment there. The notice had drawn a large company, like a Quarterly Meeting. Unexpectedly to myself, my gracious Master furnished fresh openings of several subjects, relating to the change which He works by his power in the hearts of those who submit to Him; and also the purity He requires, and clothes the soul with. Christ Jesus being the author and the finisher of the saints' faith, those who have this faith and keep it, must be sanctified, and therefore holy men, freed from sin and the commission of sin. I was also favored with the spirit of supplication for the sincere travailing ones and others. It was a good meeting; in which holy help was vouchsafed, and the spirits of many bowed and united together.

We were again pleasantly received at Z. C.'s; and the following morning, at parting, a few words arose for the young, recently married couple, and for the parents, which tendered their spirits, and we took leave of each other in nearness of affection.

A. H. having offered to accompany us, we rode to Indianapolis; and about six miles further east, on the National road, we stopped at an inn, dined, and fed our horses. Towards evening we discovered that one of them was sick, and we were obliged to stop and take some measures for his relief. A little before dark, we got to a Friend's, at Westland, where we lodged. They made us comfortable, and appeared glad to have us with them.

16th. Had an appointed meeting at this place. The company was small, yet there seemed to me to be humble-minded ones among them, who were acquainted with the path that no fowl knows, which the vulture's eye has not seen, but in which the wayfaring man, though a fool as to worldly wisdom, shall not err, as the eye is kept single to the Shepherd and Bishop of souls. We were piloted to S. P.'s, near Raysville, ten miles; where we felt ourselves heartily received; he and his wife being open and free.

17th. Attended Raysville Preparative Meeting. In the first sitting, the great importance of inward, vital religion impressed my mind; and the testimony of the apostle, that “He is not a Jew who is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision which is outward in the flesh; but he is a Jew who is one inwardly, and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, and not in the letter, whose praise is not of men but of God,” was revived; and the hatred which Satan has to genuine Quakerism, as striking at the root and fabric of his kingdom, was adverted to. He cares not by what means he can destroy us, and our religious profession. If he cannot induce those who hold it, to deny the principles with the tongue, but succeeds in drawing them into the friendships of the world, and the love of its profits and delights; and thereby they lose the inward life and power of godliness, it answers his purpose. Of this, there appeared to me, to be great danger; the love of ease, and the flatteries of worldly men, lying so near the natural inclination; which shrinks from the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and those dispensations which purge the branches, and keep them alive in the Vine. It was a season of rather close exercise; and yet Divine love and fervent desire for my brethren and sisters covered my heart; that we might all become more what the Lord would make us, were we entirely given up to Him. We dined at S. P.'s; after which we were conducted to Carthage, where we put up for the night.

18th. Attended the Preparative Meeting, held in a good house, at the south end of the village. It was not a large meeting; but I hoped there was a remnant of the suffering seed, who are acquainted with the hidden life; keeping at the feet of Jesus, where they are instructed in the faith and patience of the saints. These are the salt among us; and though the unregenerate man, whose eyes are not anointed with the eye salve of the kingdom, cannot discern their safe abiding, yet it is in Christ; and even the worldlings are compelled to confess to their firm and upright standing. The dear young people were affectionately pleaded with, to bow to the yoke of Christ, and in the obedience of faith, serve Him; that they may know Him to become the chief of ten thousands, and altogether lovely to their souls; and He would qualify them for service in his church.

I hoped it was a time of renewed visitation and encouragement to some. In the afternoon went to a Friend's near Pleasant View Meeting-house, and had a meeting appointed to be held there tomorrow. This day it has felt as if my exercise in this Yearly Meeting was abating, and the work drawing to a close. We were very kindly received by the Friends where we lodged; who appeared to wish to make us feel comfortable with them.

19th. We had a pretty good sized meeting, made up of a class which loves ease, in relation to the performance of religious duty, some unfaithful ones, and some who hold back through fear and diffidence. I was enabled to enter into their condition; bringing to their notice the parable of the wedding feast of the king's son; to which, though provided without expense or trouble to those who were invited, they refused to come; pleading various excuses. So in this day, many neglect the offers of Divine regard, excusing themselves from obeying his requirings; and thus they fail to be brought to the feast of fat things, and of wine well refined on the lees. Some on the ground of their unfitness, desiring to put upon others what the Lord calls on them to do, and from this cause never come to the growth in Christ, and that standing in his church, they would be brought to, were they faithful in the day of small things. Here is one of the causes of weakness, and why our Society does not shine with that brightness it should appear in. There was a renewed call extended to some, old and young, to obey the drawings of the Savior, that they may become servants and pillars in the Lord's house. The meeting closed with solemn supplication for their help and strength. It was a favored, good meeting; in which holy help was extended to me, a poor creature, and for which I was humbly thankful. In the afternoon went to J. P.'s, at Walnut Ridge, who with his wife received us kindly.

20th. We attended Walnut Ridge Monthly Meeting, held in a large building, near the Friend's dwelling. The company was very large for a Monthly Meeting; and I was enabled to preach the gospel among them with good authority and weight; and to encourage the tribulated traveler, to bear all the refining dispensations of Him who knows what we need, and how to administer his baptisms for our purification; by which we shall be fitted to bear fruit to the praise of the great Husbandman.

Many Friends saluted us at the close of the meeting affectionately, who I believe were glad of our company. After dining, we rode to Kaysville; where we stopped to see an afflicted woman. She was directed to look to the Savior, who could show her her transgressions and shortcomings; give her the gift of repentance, and blot out all her sins, as she gave herself into his hands. We then rode to S. P.'s, where we were kindly received by his wife and children.

21st. Accompanied by these kind Friends, we set out and rode to a Friend's near the village of Spiceland, where my companion and I had lodged on our way out westward; who appeared pleased with our safe return to their habitation. We walked over to the meeting-house, standing at the west end of the town; where we found some Friends and others collecting, it being first-day. When we were all seated, the company was quite large. I felt much emptied, and thought it might be my place to set an example of silence; but after waiting a long time, the passage was revived, with an intimation to stand up with it: “The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light; but if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If, therefore, the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness?” The subject was gradually opened, and the Lord enabled me to warn some, of the danger of relying upon their own wisdom and understanding, substituting them for the guidance of the light of Christ in the heart; by obedience to which alone, the work of regeneration and sanctification can be experienced.

Without this, all educational faith and knowledge; all that man may do in his own strength, will avail nothing in the work of salvation. He may think to do good, by talking of the truths of the gospel, and making much display of them before men; but without the inward, heart-changing work of Divine grace, all this will be no better than fig-leaf coverings; our own righteousnesses, which are as filthy rags. All classes were encouraged to come under the operation of the Spirit of Christ in the heart, that they may know the work of salvation to be going on with the day. To the fathers and mothers in the Truth, the language of sympathy and consolation was addressed, with the expression of faith, that as they persevered in watchfulness, the Lord's covenant with them would not be broken, but they would know preservation to the end. They would be made a blessing to the dear young people; who were also tenderly invited to take the yoke of Christ upon them, for which they would receive the reward of sweet peace, and never have cause to regret serving so gracious a Master. I thought it was a day of Divine condescension, and of unmerited favor to us, poor unworthy creatures.

Returned to E. E.'s and dined, and in the afternoon he walked with us to the residence of our dear aged friends Wm. and Anne Hobbs, at the east end of the village; with whom we took tea, and had a pleasant conversation. He appears to be an innocent-spirited Friend; honestly concerned for the support of the good cause, and for the welfare of his brethren. As we came out of his door, the good old Friend said, “I am willing to say this much, I am glad you have been with us today.” Though not very pointed, it was a comfort to have this testimony of approbation.

22nd. Notice having been sent to Rich Square, for a meeting to be held at three o'clock, in the afternoon, we rode there and dined; and then went to the school-house, where they hold their meetings. We were told their meeting-house and school-house were burned down in the same night. Both buildings, now nearly finished, are very suitable for the respective purposes. I had some painful labor in the meeting, in endeavoring to awaken them to the danger of being swallowed up in worldly things, and in persuading them to turn to the Lord and to his service. The meeting was closed with supplication on their behalf and for ourselves.

23rd. Had an appointed meeting at Hopewell. I was impressed in this meeting with the great importance of an early, faithful dedication to the Lord; such being often made instrumental in quickening others to a serious consideration of their day's work, and by their solid example inciting them to engage in it. On the contrary, the neglect to mind the Divine requirings, clearly manifested to the soul, places a stumbling block before others, and may turn aside visited ones from following their Lord. I feared much, there were those of this description present, whose prejudicial influence was closely spoken to; and the great benefit pointed out, that dedicated servants and handmaids of the Lord are to their fellow members. The labor among them brought solemnity over the meeting, which I hoped might be useful. But we have to hope against our feelings, and leave it all to the Lord, after having endeavored to do the best we could. After dining, we were accompanied about eight miles to a Friend's house, on our way towards Fairfield Meeting. It was an agreeable lodging place; where we passed the evening in conversation, on the testimonies and discipline of the Society, and other appropriate subjects. Two Friends were visiting there, who were young in the ministry; intelligent and solid, and inward in spirit, which made the company interesting and cheering.

24th. Went to Fairfield meeting. Being their usual weekday meeting, and no notice of our coming having been sent, the company consisted of eight or nine men and six or seven women, and it was rather a laborious time.

25th. We were directed on our way to West Grove Meeting. The company that assembled there was small, no notice having been sent them of our intention to be present. A plain and unequivocal testimony against the habit of sleeping in meeting, was delivered among them; in which they were reminded of the fervor of blind Bartimeus to have his eyes opened, when he cried out to the Master, “Jesus, you Son of David, have mercy on me.” Were we livingly engaged in our religious meetings to wait upon, and cry unto Him, our eyes would be opened to see wondrous things in His law, and we should be raised above this drowsy spirit.

27th. Being seventh-day, we attended the Monthly Meeting at Milton. I was enabled to labor with the young people, to induce them to give up in early life to the will of their Heavenly Father, inwardly revealed in their hearts; by which alone they can be fitted for usefulness in the church, and experience a growth from stature to stature in the blessed Truth.

28th. This morning, being first day, we attended Bethel Meeting. We sat with the company quite a long time before anything was said, when a woman Friend had a short communication. I was engaged to draw Friends into an individual examination, whether the life and power of Christ reigned in them, that they might be made and kept branches of the living Vine, and by their spirits and example, show forth the efficacy of the religion of our Lord Jesus Christ. I felt afraid the strong man had not come down into the state of a little child; but that some were judging and acting too much in their own wisdom and understanding, by which the Seed of the kingdom was borne down, and did not rise into dominion.

29th. Rode down to Richmond, about sixteen miles, and put up with Elijah Coffin.

Tenth month 7th. Attended the Yearly Meeting held at this place, which I thought was not as large a company as when I was here before. Much time was consumed in discussing subjects in which the expenditure of money was concerned; which has the effect to keep the attention occupied with outward things, instead of a travail of spirit for the welfare of the members, and the advancement of the cause of Christ, by a life of religious exercise, and showing forth the fruits of the Holy Spirit. So many concerns of an outward nature, all of which are reported upon, and long discussions entered into, it appeared to me, kept the mind so afloat, that the meeting did not experience that inward feeling after the solemnizing presence of the Head of the church, and the pointing of the Divine finger, which would give sound judgment, and tend to the edification of the body, in the life and power of the Holy Ghost. To get the great number of these subjects, with others of a different nature, disposed of, the business was crowded on the meeting. I wish not to judge uncharitably, but I did fear that the great object for which the church is brought together annually, is not, under these circumstances, as fully answered as it should be. There is some danger of such a Yearly Meeting becoming like a great philanthropic or benevolent association; and the minds of the members being much absorbed by these objects, as if they constituted the work of religion; and by which the activity of the natural man may be substituted for the leadings and direction of the Head of the church.

8th. Having sold our carriage, we left Richmond this morning, in a stage for Hallowell, forty-two miles; and then took the cars for Cincinnati, Ohio, which we reached a little after eight o'clock.

9th. Arose about three o'clock, took a little breakfast, and were taken to the car office for Cleveland; and about five o'clock got on our way, reached that town on Lake Erie, near that hour in the afternoon, and went on board the steamboat Alabama for Dunkirk. The evening and the lake were placid, the moon shining brightly, which afforded the prospect of a pleasant passage; and after taking supper, we soon retired to our berths, where I slept pretty well until daylight, and about five in the morning we found ourselves at Dunkirk.

10th. Left this town at six o'clock, in the cars for Jersey City, on the North River; which we reached before twelve o'clock that night, being less than eighteen hours, traveling four hundred and sixty-nine miles on this road; in which time they allowed ten minutes each for breakfast and supper, and twenty minutes for dinner; making over twenty-five miles an hour throughout the whole route. It seemed a favor to get through without accident. Retired to bed at the hotel, and rose next morning about five o'clock.

11th. Took the Philadelphia cars, at six o'clock, and found ourselves at Camden, a little after eleven; from which we crossed the Delaware, and I was soon embraced by my dear wife and children, with several other of our near connections, who were at my house; all of whom showed their joy to have me restored to them again, after a journey involving so many liabilities to accident and disease.

Under a sense of the goodness and protection of the Lord, our holy Helper, in preserving us from dangers, furnishing ability from time to time, to do his will, and bringing us safely home to our dear families, gratitude many times warmed my heart; with the desire to ascribe unto Him, thanksgivings and praise, and to bless his ever-adorable name. Many Friends greeted me very warmly on being restored to them.

At our Monthly Meeting, held in this month, and the Quarterly Meeting, early in the Eleventh month, I returned the certificates with which I had been furnished, for the western journey; with the minutes of several Monthly and Quarterly Meetings of Indiana Yearly Meeting, expressing their satisfaction with the visit and services.

Since getting home, I have passed through seasons of great stripping and desertion, which have been followed by the renewal of Divine good, and some ability to testify to others, of the faithfulness of the Lord to his poor creature, in raising him up, and renewing his faith in his unchangeable power and goodness.

In our evening meetings, this winter, we have had much solemnity and deep ingathering of spirit; and the gospel has been preached to the softening of the hearts of many, to whom I have no doubt, these opportunities have been beneficial, and it may be a permanent blessing to some.

Chapter XXVII

1852

Sources of Trial—Renewal of Religious Labors in different Meetings about Home—Yearly Meeting—Value of a right of Membership among Friends.

1852, Second month. The present state of our religious Society has a strong opposing influence to the effectual working of the measure of grace in every part of the body, to edify itself in love, and promote the real welfare of one another. Yet there is preserved a body of exercised members, who travail for the support of the cause of Truth, and for the gathering of the children to Christ Jesus, their Savior and Shepherd. Our Quarterly Meeting for discipline, held this month, was very large, and comparatively but little was said in it.

4th. Went to the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held at Germantown; in which my wife and myself had some service. Next day we were at that for discipline, and were both engaged in the ministry, to encourage the sincere ones, and to warn those who had been divinely visited, but had grown indifferent and neglectful of the all-important work of their day; the salvation of the soul, and their duties to the church and to one another.

25th. The proper holding of our approaching Yearly Meeting, is a subject of great weight; and, at times, it seemed as if I should be willing to be released, and gathered away from it. But the exercise must be borne by some, if the cause of Christ is upheld by our religious Society. When we consider the awfulness of eternity, and that we have individually a work to perform, we have need to resign ourselves unto the Divine hand, and ask of the Lord strength to endure our trials, and to follow him faithfully, so that the work and the wedding garment may be finished by the time the end comes.

In looking at the divided state of Friends, I have had many thoughts on the subject of separation, talked of by some restless members. I have been fully convinced that Friends cannot go into separation, but they should patiently bear the difficulties which we have to encounter, and their testimony against the cause of division, as the Lord qualifies them. We have no right to break down the hedge which He has placed around us; and if we stand firm, He will make his own cause victorious. Opposing spirits will be removed, and a generation raised up, that will be enabled to exalt the glorious standard of gospel truth, and the christian testimonies we were and are called to spread in the earth. It appears to me to be a snare of the enemy, to divide and scatter, under the plausible plea of terminating our afflictions, but which would destroy our strength, and plunge us into inextricable difficulty. When another trial came, the same pretext would present, to divide again; and thus our destruction as a religious body would be inevitable. The church is never more alive to the cause of its adorable Head, than when under suffering; and the present afflictions will be sanctified and made a blessing to us if we rightly profit by them.

Third month 17th. Feeling my mind drawn to sit with Friends, I went to the North Meeting; where we had the company of Hinchman Haines, who was a little engaged in the ministry, to comfort the discouraged ones. After him, I felt moved to utter the language of the prophet, “O you afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with fair colors, and lay your foundations with sapphires. And I will make your windows of agates, and your gates of carbuncles, and all your borders of pleasant stones.” “In a little wrath I hid my face from you for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on you, says the Lord your Redeemer;” and to say, that under the clothing of peace, which had spread over my mind, from the early part of the meeting, I was prepared to bear testimony that our God is a God nigh at hand and not afar off; and that He who joined himself to his sorrowing disciples, after they had seen their Lord crucified, dead and buried, would also join himself to us, as we walked by the way, and would satisfy us, that it was He, and would sustain us by his power.

29th. Rode with J. and H. Rhoads to Middletown, where we attended their Monthly Meeting. Encouragement was offered to trust in the Lord Jehovah, in whom there is everlasting strength. If every one was engaged to do his own work, witnessing the hewing and squaring by the Lord's hand, the unity and baptism of the Spirit into one body, would be known more fully, and spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God, would be offered through Jesus Christ our. Lord. And the true love and fellowship would prevail; cheering and comforting one another in the work to which all are called. My dear wife was also engaged to call upon all to search whether the spirit of Christ dwells in them; for if any man have not the spirit of Christ he is none of his. We may be contending for sound christian doctrine, which is proper under Divine authority; but the main thing—the one thing needful, is to know Christ to dwell in our hearts, ruling and reigning there; putting off the old man with all his corrupt deeds, and clothing us with his heavenly nature.

Fourth month 4th. My wife was enabled to hold forth a word of encouragement, this morning, to the tribulated members; and afterwards it seemed to be my duty, to bend the knee, and vocally implore the compassionate Shepherd, to remember mercy in the midst of judgment; to renew the faith of the fearful, disconsolate ones, and to defend his heritage from the attempts of the cruel enemy to destroy it. I hope we had a little renewed evidence that the Lord was with us, the meeting closing with much solemnity.

6th. My exercises returned, on account of the approaching Yearly Meeting; but as the meeting drew on, they abated, and hope, at times, sprang up, that Divine mercy would be extended for our health and preservation.

16th. Our Meeting for Sufferings convened and was held to our satisfaction.

17th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held this morning; the number of strangers was not large.

18th. Our meetings for worship, held at the Orange street house, were satisfactory, particularly that in the afternoon. It appeared to me to be a time of renewed visitation. The ministry was sound and baptizing, which confirmed the hope that the Lord had not, and would not forsake us, if we kept faithful to Him.

19th. Our Yearly Meeting was opened, I hope, under feelings of abasedness before the Lord; and the morning sitting was conducted with religious weight and dignity, giving reason to believe that we should be helped to get through safely. The replies to the Queries, brought Friends under much concern, particularly in regard to the neglect of our meetings for worship; respecting which, a minute was made to go down to the Monthly Meetings. The reading of a circular epistle, addressed by London Yearly Meeting to the Yearly Meetings in America, advising us to support the order and discipline of the Society, and to guard against separations, called out some remarks.

A minute was made of the reception of such an epistle.

Deputations from North Carolina and Baltimore, selected from their conference committees, attended, with the Conference Address, and produced minutes of their authority to present it to our Yearly Meeting; which minutes were read, being direct from those [two] Yearly Meetings; but the meeting declined reading a document prepared by committees of other Yearly Meetings, in which this meeting had decided not to participate. No other subject created any discussion, attended with contrary sentiments; and the meeting closed on sixth-day morning, under the most impressive silence and solemn feeling, that we have known for a long time. I believe that many hearts were bowed with gratitude, and thankfulness to the Father of mercies, that his preserving power had been secretly extended, enabling us to transact the business in his fear, and with much harmony.

Fifth month 16th. For the last two weeks I have been much shut up, as in a prison house. These are humiliating dispensations; under which we are often unable to believe they are designed to purge the soul, and to prepare the creature to know the life preserved in the root; that when the Lord's month comes again, the tree that is of his planting, may bring forth fresh fruit to his praise.

26th. Was held our Monthly Meeting, which had but little business. In the preceding sitting, I felt constrained to hold up the nature, source and object of true and saving faith. Christ being the author and the finisher of it, its nature, efficacy and object are the same in all ages, as set forth by the apostle in his epistle to the Hebrews; where he recites many acts and deliverances, experienced by prophets and holy men in ancient time.

Sixth month 9th. The meeting of the general committee having the oversight of West-town School, was very satisfactory; a concern being revived, that this Seminary may continue to be conducted on the original ground, the religious, guarded education and control of the children. It appears to be in a satisfactory state; and Friends were much united, in the same religious exercise; which comforted many present, who have long had its welfare at heart; desiring that the simplicity and propriety which become our profession, may be steadily maintained. I hoped it was a little token for good. The young members of the committee, lately introduced, were particularly interested and encouraged, by the solid covering with which we were favored, and the remarks of several Friends. We returned to the city in the afternoon.

10th. Went to the Arch Street Meeting, at which a marriage was accomplished. I felt weak and low, and doubting whether I had better go. After sitting some time, I was forcibly impressed with the conviction that the right path for every one to walk in, is that which the Lord casts up for the ransomed and redeemed ones; both as regards our movements among men, our worldly pursuits, and the religious duties we have to perform in the Society. We may, at times, be enveloped as in clouds, but if we keep a single eye to the Lord, with sincere desire to be preserved from missing our way, light will, in his time, break forth out of obscurity, and our darkness become as the noon-day. I was also somewhat enlarged on the subject of steadfast faithfulness to the openings and leadings of the Holy Spirit; by which our faithful forefathers glorified God in their day, and knew Him to be their hope and confidence in the end and are now equal with the angels, praising the mercy and great name of their Savior. My sister H. Rhoads, followed in a strain of encouragement to the married couple, and to the young people generally. She believed the Son of Peace was with us, who appeared to the disciples, the doors being shut, and breathed peace upon them. My dear wife knelt in fervent supplication, especially for those whose faith was often closely proved; and the meeting was held and closed under a solemn covering, and the name of the Lord was secretly praised for the manifestation of his goodness, to his poor unworthy creatures.

As I walked towards the door, a young man, a stranger, met me, and said to me, “The Lord spoke through you today.” I making no reply, he asked if I was not the person who spoke? which I answered in the affirmative. He then added, he did not feel satisfied to leave the meeting, without bearing testimony to the Lord being with us; we had the Holy Spirit with us this morning. I replied, that was the source of all true gospel ministry. It was encouraging to find that the heart of one, not professing with us, had been touched. If but one soul is helped and encouraged on its heavenly journey, we ought to be thankful, and humbled that we are made use of in the Divine hand in any way, whatever proving we may have to pass through.

30th. This morning a concern came over me, to go to the Western Meeting. I felt calm and peaceful in sitting down among them. The sweetness and preciousness of the Truth came over me, to speak of and to testify that the only way to grow in grace, and in the saving knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, was by obedience to the manifestations of his Spirit in the heart. The subject of the inward work, the danger of turning back after being enlightened, and having made some sacrifices, and the certainty of being made victorious, through steadfastly following Christ, and the precious reward and Divine support and consolation which the obedient ones are blessed with, were opened.

Seventh month 1st. S. B. M., being under appointment to attend Gwynedd Monthly Meeting, I felt inclined to accompany him; and the Lord gave a word of encouragement to the little company who are striving to keep up that meeting. They were glad of our attendance, and were refreshed with the dew which the Lord diffused over us.

27th. Attended the Monthly Meeting of Frankford; in which I was drawn to hold forth the language of encouragement; in the belief that there are young Friends, who are giving themselves up to the Lord; and who, if faithful, will be made shining examples, and become as pillars in the Lord's house.

Eighth month 11th. Our meeting, being fourth-day, was small, as they have been this summer, owing to many members having taken their residence in the country. The warmth of the weather seemed to produce a stupefying effect on some, so that towards the close I felt constrained to testify that however we may be tried with drowsiness, it is our duty to strive against it, through that Divine help, which will finally enable us to gain the ascendency, and will be extended, if we seek for it; and then a qualification will be granted to praise the Lord for his regard to us in our weakness, and that He had quickened us by his immediate power.

15th. Many who attend our first-day morning meetings, seem to think it is a sufficient part of their time to devote to the worship of their Almighty Creator, and our afternoon as well as mid-week meetings, are consequently small; but there are those in every place who feel bound to keep them up, both for their own good, and the support of our testimony to the duty of public worship.

17th. I went to the North Meeting, which was small. I was engaged to bear testimony to the continued goodness of our Heavenly Father, in regarding his children, and defending them from the power of the enemy, under all the trials which He permits to assail them, as their eye and trust are directed to Him. Although some of the cups of suffering they partake of, are like the wormwood and the gall, and their souls recoil from them, when their faith seems ready to fail, yet in his tender mercy, He sees and secretly sustains them. When Elisha prayed the Lord to open the eyes of his servant, at the time the city was besieged, he saw the mountains full of chariots and horsemen, round about Elisha, so that those with the prophet, were discovered to be more than their enemies. The same invisible defense is still present with the Lord's church and people, though they may not always be able to behold it.

19th. Attended the fifth-day meeting at Haddonfield, held in a new meeting-house; one of the most neat, plain buildings for that purpose, that we have within our Yearly Meeting. The company was larger than I expected to see, and afforded encouragement to believe there was a power secretly at work, drawing the people to assemble for the solemn purpose of Divine worship. I was raised up in a close appeal to some, who were wasting time and talents in earthly pursuits, in which they could not find substantial settlement and peace of mind. Nothing can procure these but giving to the fire, those things that are for the fire, to the sword that which is for the sword, and to the hammer those things which are to be broken to pieces and removed, that a way may be made for the kingdom of the Son of God to be introduced and set up. Some might put on a fair outside, while they kept back that which is to be given up; but, however they might deceive man, they could not conceal their condition from the Searcher of hearts. All the possessions and comforts, with which they surrounded themselves, would not yield the solid peace which Christ gives to his children. The young man who came to Christ, and enquired what he should do to inherit eternal life, went away sorrowful, when he was told to sell all that he had, and give to the poor, and come follow Him. He had great possessions, and loved them more than his Savior, or his own salvation; and we have no account that any other offer was made to him. But however some had turned their back upon the convicting power of Divine grace, and had no foundation to stand upon, the Lord, at seasons, brings them to feel their destitute condition, and to look back at their waste of time, and their resistance of the Divine calls; and now they were unable to command those feelings of tenderness which they once had, but hardness was coming over them, and the work of the soul's salvation not begun. They cannot repent of their transgressions when they please; repentance and the power to amend our lives are both in the Divine hand. But I believed mercy was following them, and if they gave up to the Lord's call, though at the ninth or the eleventh hour, and went into the vineyard of their own hearts and labored faithfully, they would receive the penny at last, with others who had borne the burden and heat of the day; and before the close, might be made examples and standard-bearers to draw others to Christ. It was a good day. It was the Lord's work, my mind having been particularly drawn to attend that meeting.

25th. Was held our Monthly Meeting; by which my wife was furnished with a minute to attend Ohio Yearly Meeting.

30th. My sister Hannah Rhoads, having her mind drawn to attend Ohio Yearly Meeting, was, with her husband, liberated by their Monthly Meeting, for the visit. They and S. and B. Nicholson came to the city this afternoon, and early the following morning, they, with my wife, met at the depot, and I saw them comfortably seated in the car, and started for Pittsburg; the weather being very fine for traveling.

9th month 1st. Our meeting today was refreshing to me, under the belief that the Lord's tender mercies are round about us; and that He is secretly sustaining his children by his omnipotent arm. Many parts of the meeting were contriting to my spirit, and I thought it required of me to encourage Friends to faithfulness, and to keep their trust in the Lord's unfailing goodness, and also to keep near to one another in spirit.

2nd. Though I had a humbling view of myself, and fears of being mistaken in what I apprehended to be my duty, yet this morning, I went to the Arch Street Meeting, and sometime after Samuel Bettle, Sr., had delivered a short testimony, I felt engaged to speak to the states of those who had been often favored with the visitations of Divine love, showing them their condition, and what the Lord required them to do or to leave undone; but who, from negligence and disobedience, were sensible at times that they were not what they ought to be, and that the work of salvation was not going on in them. They were warned that the day of account was drawing on, and urged to examine what ground they have for hoping for acceptance, should they be called to appear before the judgment-seat of Christ in this condition. They profess to believe in Him, and hope for the forgiveness, and pardon of their sins, through his precious blood; but it is those who live and walk in the light, as He is in the light, that experience his blood to cleanse them from all sin. Men may live what the world esteems moral lives, and yet be gratifying their own will and carnal propensities; having their household idols, and their heart's beloveds, which they worship; but it is as their will is nailed to the cross, and the life they have in things which the Lord's controversy is with, is slain, and they baptized into death, that they can know Him, who is the resurrection and the life, to quicken their souls, and make them alive unto God. Those who were neither cold nor hot, were warned of their danger; for He declared to a church formerly, that He would spew such out of his mouth.

It is by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost, that we can be prepared for communion with the Father of lights and spirits; and to those who give up all, and seek Him daily, He condescends to manifest Himself; humbling their hearts before Him, and enabling them, as with their mouths in the dust, to put up their petitions to Him; which He will hear and answer from heaven, his high and holy dwelling place. The doctrine of christian purity and perfection, as delivered to Abraham, and enjoined by our Lord upon his disciples, was held up. It seemed as if the Lord gave fresh access to his treasury, opened by Him, and qualified to warn and to persuade all, to mind the day of their visitation; that they may be prepared in the end, for an admission into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ, among saints and angels, and the spirits of just men made perfect; whose employment it is, to ascribe unto Him that sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb, glory and honor, thanksgiving, might, majesty, dominion, and praise, to whom alone it belongs. I returned to my dwelling with feelings of quiet peacefulness.

The absence of my dear wife, laboring in a country, where disease prevails in many places; and a concern for the preservation of Friends, who have taken the ground of defense of our religious principles, against the attempted innovations of some in the present day, have caused me to walk in secret mourning; yet not without the belief, that the Lord beholds our afflictions, and will support and make way for our final deliverance, in his time. Faith is at seasons renewed in his unfailing mercy, and evidences are granted, that He has not forsaken his afflicted church.

8th. While sitting in our meeting today, the injunction of our Lord was brought over me, “Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” We are not to become indifferent in relation to the future; because we are exhorted to lay up a good foundation against the time to come. But the more faithful we are to the Lord, in performing our daily duties, the more we shall be relieved from all unavailing anxiety about the future; and enabled to cast our care upon Him, who will care for and sustain us through all our troubles. I thought Divine help was present to comfort some anxious ones in our little meeting.

I rode out to Germantown in the afternoon, and next day, the 9th, attended the meeting there; in which I was unexpectedly drawn, to show the distinction between the religion of mere education, and the religion of regeneration. The first is that of opinion and habit; the other of conviction and submission to the heart-renovating power of Divine grace. We may lose the latter through unwatchfulness; as being once in grace, is no surety for being always in grace. However valuable a sound education, by the example and precepts of religious parents and friends, may be, and for which we are responsible, yet if the work of regeneration is not experienced, we shall be mere formalists; and it will be evident that the life of religion is lacking. There seemed to be a warning for some, who may be correct in the eye of their fellows, and yet are in an indolent state; regardless of that exercise of mind and daily prayer for heavenly food, by which the immortal soul is nourished, and enabled to do the Divine will, and to bear fruit to the praise of the great Husbandman, and to the benefit of the church. I thought there was evidence that the Lord's power was present, to arouse and quicken some to greater diligence in their day's work.

15th. This morning my dear wife got home from Ohio; having attended the Yearly Meeting at Mount Pleasant, which, in some respects, was closely proving; yet throughout, Friends believed that Divine protection was round about them.

25th. By appointment of the School Corporation, I visited several applicants for the admission of children of those not Friends, gratuitously, into the schools under its care. The destitute condition of some, their exposure to the evil company of other children, who live much in the streets, and the incompetency of their parents or caretakers, to train and example them in a religious and moral life, were truly affecting to me. Were it not for the watchful care of the unslumbering Shepherd, over the souls He has made, it seems as if destruction must inevitably overtake such. We cannot be too sensible of the blessings we partake of, as members of a religious Society, professing the principles of the gospel of Christ; and which feels bound to extend a restraining influence over old and young, to guard them against the seductive power of temptation, as it is presented in the world at large, and in the private associations of men and women, who reject all religious control. How grateful and consistent in our conduct, ought we to be, for the salutary provisions and influences we have around us; associated as we are, or may be, with solid christian friends, whose sentiments and deportment are like salt, to preserve, or as the dew upon the tender grass, to nourish and feed the good in us. In relation to forming connections for life, it is of great importance to have part in such a Society, where purity of principle and practice is inculcated. There is great safety in dwelling, like the Shunamite woman, among our own people; and if it be our lot to enter into a married life, to make choice of one, whose training has been within our own pale, or who has been brought in by conviction, under the regenerating power of Divine grace. In such training, the minds of the members receive a similar bias and stamp. Thus they need not break up nor forego the sentiments of their education on religious points, in order to conform to each other. A union in this respect has already existed; and when bound together in the most tender and endearing ties of human life, the way will be open to be constant helpmeets in their heavenly pilgrimage, as well as to aid and cheer one another, in the difficulties that pertain to their temporal duties.

What a sad loss is sustained by those young people, who despise their birthright, and part with it, as Esau, for a mess of pottage. If they are not favored with repentance in time, so effectual as to return, they will wander from the path of safety, and confusion and embarrassment in some way will follow. I believe that forsaking a Society, where there are many means for spiritual help and preservation, and where the true nature of vital religion has been clearly unfolded, will be attended by serious disadvantages; and that very generally such are swallowed up by the world and its corrupting spirit.

28th. Attended the North Meeting, which I sat in peaceful silence. What a blessing it would be, were every obstacle to the prevalence of sincere christian fellowship, removed from amongst us, and we loved one another unfeignedly. It would greatly contribute to our strength and the disposition to aid and encourage one another in the performance of all our religious duties. We should mourn with those that mourned, and rejoice when one was exalted, in the occupancy of his or her gift.

Tenth month 14th. Felt an inclination to go to the Arch Street Meeting, where Samuel Leeds ministered in an acceptable manner to me. After him, it appeared to be my place, to address the scholars and the caretakers of the Select Schools; encouraging the dear children to love and mind the Savior, who took the little ones, in his arms, laid his hands upon them, and blessed them. He still regards these, though He is exalted above all principalities and powers; and by his Holy Spirit, He draws them from sin; and when they obey Him, leads them in the paths of righteousness, and rewards them with his peace. In all the trials which their caretakers endure, if they look to Him, they would know the everlasting arm of the same blessed Savior to be underneath, supporting and strengthening them for the work of their day; and as they discharge faithfully their religious duties to their interesting charge, many of them, I believed, in after life would call them blessed. As the children gave up to the visitations of their Savior, He would show them the bride, the Lamb's wife, adorned in garments of purity and brightness, the righteousness of saints; which represents the holiness and christian perfection, to which all the members of the mystical body are called and attain, through the power of Christ's spirit.

23rd. The mind is often influenced by the state of the body. But whatever cause may act, I believe the Lord does lead us at times into low places, and veils his countenance from us, to reduce and humble the creature, and to draw us to seek to Him in our humiliation; that He would in mercy preserve us from falling away, and help us to maintain the watch and the warfare against the cruel devices of the enemy. I feel the need of such dispensations, that I may be quickened to watch against every improper thought, and set a closer guard at the door of my lips.

27th. Was our Monthly Meeting, in which some of the Queries were answered, and we were in some degree introduced into the state of the members. Oh for a more united and heartfelt travail for one another's growth in the Truth, and more willingness to hold up and strengthen the hands of the laborers in the Lord's vineyard. There is great strength in true unity, and a sincere desire for each other's religious welfare.

30th. Today was held our Select Quarterly Meeting, which was satisfactory.

Eleventh month 1st. In the meeting for worship, which was attended with solemnity, E. Pittfield and E. Evans ministered in a weighty, feeling manner. The evidences of the condescension and forbearance of the Shepherd of Israel to his creatures, many of whom are forgetful of their greatest interests, are encouraging, and raised desires that we might be more devoted to Him and his cause. When the gospel is preached in the love and authority of Christ, we have reason to believe that the good Shepherd is caring for the lambs and the sheep of his pasture, and seeking to draw others into his fold; and we ought to receive with gratitude these evidences of his merciful regard, and be incited to more fervent and full dedication of our time and talents to his service.

3rd. Having for some time, had our minds drawn to make a visit to our beloved, aged friend and mother in Israel, Hannah Gibbons, my wife and myself, went there this afternoon. The faculties of our aged friend are remarkably preserved; the staidness and solidity of her spirit are peculiar, and the constant exercise of her mind, trained in the school of Christ, and ornamented with the garment of humility, makes her a striking example to the believers; showing the efficacy of Divine grace, and the fruits of long dedication to her Lord, in the path of self-denial and daily watchfulness unto prayer. We felt nearly united to her, and esteemed it a favor to have such a pillar and watch-woman continued in the militant church, to so late a period of life.

4th. Attended their meeting, which was unusually large, many of the inhabitants coming in to see a marriage, in Friends' mode. It was conducted in a solemn and appropriate manner, which I thought commended our practice in making this solemn covenant, before all others.

7th. This has been a day of little spiritual enjoyment; but if these seasons tend to abase the creature, and drive to the Fountain of all good to ask for preservation, they will prove blessings in disguise. This evening commenced the united meetings for all the members in the city who can attend. The company was large and very quiet, to whom my wife ministered in a short testimony, addressed chiefly to the young people. All our ministers in the city were present except one.

14th. Though the weather was cold and blustering, and threatening rain, our evening meeting was quite large, and a solemn covering spread over us. A Friend had a short communication; after which, we sat some time in silence, during which, the dealings of the Lord with his children in hiding his face from them, and permitting Satan to buffet them, so that they are afraid of becoming cast away, were brought before me; and I believed it was my duty to stand up, with a testimony to the great importance in such seasons, to keep the faith and patience of the saints. Our Lord said to his disciples, “You are they which have continued with me in my temptations; and I appoint unto you a kingdom, as my Father has appointed unto me.” It is of the utmost importance to keep near to Him in all trials and temptations, that we may know his kingdom established in us, where He rules and reigns over all. They tend to humble us into the state of a little child, in which only, we can enter that kingdom. The Christian's progress, and his establishment on the sure foundation, through the grace that comes by Jesus Christ, were declared; showing how we are made preachers of righteousness in life and conversation, and a living protest against sin and iniquity.

Chapter XXVIII

1852—1853

Dangers attending the Possession of Riches—Family Visit by Appointment Hinchman Haines—Religious Visit to Meetings in Chester and Delaware Counties, Pennsylvania. Yearly Meeting—Friends and Public Holidays—Services at and near Home.

1852, Twelfth month. I have mourned over the weaknesses observable in many, who seem to be almost insensibly drawn aside by the influence of rich men, the love of grandeur, and the pride and self-consequence which wealth gives. There is a powerful temptation to fall in with the stream of fashionable life, and to coincide with the opinions of rich, nominal Quakers; to mingle with them, and to give children an education conformable to the standard which they erect; however different from the course that true, consistent Friends, believe the Holy Spirit leads into. This makes an unfavorable distinction between the children of those who despise the cross, and the children of conscientious members, who feel bound to regard its restrictions. But I have seen and felt, that it is far better to keep to the requisitions of Grace in all things; bearing the cross faithfully, and disregarding the shame which the world attaches to a life of self-denial, both for our own everlasting good, and for the sake of our children.

The influx of wealth into our country is producing its natural effects upon those who have the power of accumulating it. Where some are suddenly made rich, others are tempted to put forth their hands to get gain, that they also may be made rich and honorable among men, like their contemporaries. As wealth is acquired, large showy houses are sometimes provided, to suit the standing of the rich man, with sumptuous, fashionable furniture to correspond. Families, even with comparatively plain garb, finding themselves thus surrounded with grandeur, and the means to indulge their inclinations, may become inflated with the idea that they are superior to those of the middle or poorer rank; and a disposition to look upon them with a supercilious air, may arise in the mind; and the daily application to the Lord for his preserving power, be much forgotten. The children of such persons become exalted above the simplicity of the cross, and are in danger of looking with a degree of contempt, on their young friends, whose parents have not the means, or are not easy, to go into a fashionable, luxurious mode of living. They are in danger of growing up with, or imbibing an enmity to the testimonies and discipline of our Society, and of becoming lost to it. Our strength is thereby wasted, and we fail to exert that influence in the world, for which we were designed. Instead of carrying on the work of reformation, by lives of purity and self-denial, many are in great danger of going back into the customs of the world, out of which Friends were originally gathered. Where those who take an active part in the affairs of the Society have grown rich, and are living in a spirit of self-importance, and manage its concerns in their own wisdom, it has a leavening effect upon others; the life and gathering power of religion will be excluded, and the right authority of meetings will be lost.

5th. Our evening meeting was large. I felt drawn to advert to the lowly, humble manner in which our Savior came into the world; his birthplace a stable, and being laid in a manger, though He was the Son of the Highest, and had all power in heaven and in earth. It was declared by the angel of the Lord, when he informed the shepherds that a Savior was born unto them in the city of David; “And this shall be a sign unto you, you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” It appeared to be my place to warn those who were living in grandeur and pride, of their danger in giving way to this exalted spirit, and of the prejudicial effects it must have upon themselves, and their children, by shutting out of the heart the precious influence of the Spirit of the Redeemer. There was a deep, solemn stillness over the meeting, and we came away, thankful for the extension of Divine help and favor.

26th. As we walked to meeting this afternoon, observing the plain dresses of Friends, who mingled with others, I recollected that more than two hundred years have elapsed since George Fox commenced his ministry; opening to the people the spiritual nature of the gospel dispensation; what it requires, and what a change it effects in those who yield to the renovating power of the Holy Spirit; cleansing the heart and regulating their whole deportment. Here is still a people, distinguished by their doctrines, their simple garb, their scriptural language, and their unfashionable manners; all which is an evidence of the continued care, power and goodness of the Lord towards us; and which ought to unite us in gratitude, increasing fervor, and faithfulness to our God. In proportion to the greatness of the testimonies committed to us, and the clear discovery of the doctrines and precepts of the gospel, is our responsibility; and did we keep steadfastly to our Divine Guide, in living up to his heavenly nature and dictates, we should be like an army with banners; that would be enabled to shake the kingdom of antichrist, and turn the people effectually to Christ, in his spiritual appearance in their hearts; that they might know Him to be their hope of glory. We had a very precious meeting this morning. In the evening, we had also a solid meeting; in which the gospel was preached in the opening and authority of the Holy Spirit.

29th. The visiting of the families belonging thereto, having received the consideration of our last Monthly Meeting, and a committee then appointed by men Friends, it was now introduced to women Friends, who united with it, and appointed a committee to join us in the service.

1853, First month 5th. The committee divided into two parts, allotting a portion of the members to each, which have been engaged in the work. Divine help was graciously extended, in opening the different states, and giving the word, to my admiration, for the various conditions. Poverty and emptiness were my portion at times, but I hope some will be stirred up to more faithfulness, and others induced to put away the household idols with which they are surrounded.

17th. After having had quite mild weather most of the winter, the mercury fell, through yesterday, to fourteen degrees, making a very sensible contrast with the temperature we have had. It will cause suffering to many of the improvident ones, who observe no economy with what they get, nor exert themselves as they ought, when employment is to be had. Their needs call into action the sympathies of many, whose hearts might otherwise be engrossed with the love of their possessions; and for lack of objects of charity, or calls for aid, might scarcely ever experience these tender feelings, and the disposition to hand relief to a suffering fellow being. “Blessed is he that considers the poor, the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble.”

Feelings of destitution of Divine good have been my portion; and fears have attended of not being sufficiently concerned to draw near to the Lord, in prayer for heavenly bread, and his sustaining power. Yesterday I was constrained to warn my brethren and sisters, of the danger of having the mind too much engrossed even with lawful things, so as to deter us from waiting upon the Lord daily for the renewal of spiritual strength; and producing neglect of our duty to watch and pray continually.

29th. Last fourth-day was held our Monthly Meeting; in which all the Queries were answered, and report made of the completion of the family visit to our members. I thought a religious weight covered us; and some lively remarks were made, to guard the members against submitting to temptation to depart from our testimonies; particularly relating to the plural language to a single person, and against a sumptuous and fashionable mode of living, which leads to an improper education of children; by which they are taken out of the Society.

Having felt my mind drawn in tender sympathy to some of the small meetings in Chester and Delaware Counties, Pennsylvania, I laid the concern before the Monthly Meeting, and was liberated, by a general expression of unity, to visit the meetings of Cain, the Western, and Concord Quarterly Meetings, as way may open for it. Our only hope and trust are in the tender compassion of an omniscient Shepherd, who sees the hearts of all, and can administer comfort, wisdom and strength to support, and safely guide his poor dependent children under all their trials, to the accomplishment of his will.

In the afternoon. I crossed the river, in order to visit our ancient friend Hinchman Haines, if he was in a situation to be seen; he having been ill for about ten days; and also to attend the meeting at Evesham, where he belonged. When I got to his son's house, next morning, I found he had departed the preceding evening. He was a pillar in the church of Christ; a living, baptizing minister; and a firm and consistent supporter of the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel held by our religious Society; and in the spreading of which, he travelled much in the ministry. Being possessed of a good judgment, and a cheerful disposition, and having, from an early period of his life, been disciplined in the school of Christ, his conversation was interesting and instructive to the sincere lovers and seekers of the Truth. Though he was firm in his attachment to the truth, and in maintaining what he believed was right, yet when his friends did not see eye to eye with him, in things not decided on by the body, he treated them in a sweet, christian spirit, and did not allow himself to say anything to lessen their reputation, or standing in the church. He was in the eighty-sixth year of his age, and his removal will be much felt by many who have partaken of his ministry, and among whom he was a father in Christ, and an example of christian gravity, simplicity and self-denial.

30th. I attended the meeting for worship, of which H. Haines had long been a member, and a sorrowful feeling spread over us. I felt unfit to be employed in any service; yet I thought under the impressions that covered my mind, it would be unsafe to refrain from testifying to the power and goodness of the Lord, in breaking us off from the wild olive tree; and, through the baptisms of the Holy Ghost and fire, preparing us for membership in the church of Christ, and to receive gifts to be occupied in the station which He allots for every obedient one. It was this made our fathers living members of Christ, and qualified them to advocate and uphold his cause. And the same blessed power, I believed, would continue to raise up living witnesses to the truth; and also those who would publish the glad tidings of salvation, and what the Lord had done for their souls.

Second month 8th. This morning my wife and myself rode to our brother-in-law's, J. Rhoads, whom we found preparing to set out with me on the visit in Chester County. The fellowship subsisting between us is very grateful and strengthening.

In the afternoon, he and I rode to E. M.'s, where we found a comfortable stopping-place, and in the evening, several Friends came in, whose company was cheering.

9th. Attended their usual mid-week meeting at Whiteland; at which we had the company of a dear young minister, visiting Friends' families of this place. I felt drawn in spirit to some exercised ones, to whom the language of the Most High was addressed, “Fear you not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, I am your God;” “I will never leave you nor forsake you;” also that of our Savior to his disciples, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world;” and the way was opened to comfort and strengthen the lowly, tribulated ones, whose faith was deeply proven. Afterwards to show forth to a different class, the great importance of obeying the discoveries of the Holy Spirit, by which the work of salvation is begun and perfected in man, as he yields to and follows it. Our beloved friend knelt in thanksgiving, for the help extended to the poor in spirit, and for the renewed call and offer of mercy to the rebellious; also praying that the dear children might be gathered. It proved the truth of the saying, “He that waters shall be watered also himself;” affording me comfort from a young, devoted child of the Lord, particularly as I was now just setting out on a journey.

We dined with our friends J. M. and sisters, who were truly kind in entertaining us; and in the afternoon, rode to M. E.'s, who received us with much affection. The evening was occupied in cheerful conversation, mostly touching subjects of a serious nature.

10th. We were at Uwchlan Monthly Meeting; in which the dear Master furnished fresh authority and ability to labor in his cause; many appearing to be immersed in the love and pursuit of the things of the world, whereby their strength is much laid waste, and the life and power of religion at a low ebb. That love which seeks the everlasting welfare of all clothed my mind; in which I was enabled to bring some things home to their feelings with much plainness, and which appeared to be well received. But oh, how are the minds of many going into the earth, and losing the little zeal they may once have felt; and their children taking wings into the air, soaring above the witness for God, and setting at nought the testimonies which our faithful predecessors nobly bore.

We dined near the meeting-house; and a young man having agreed to accompany us, we set out for Robeson, the road lying over a hilly country, and rough at this season of the year. The Monthly Meeting held so late, we could not go through before night, and were obliged to put up at a tavern, in the beautiful Conestoga valley, which is esteemed as good land, and well-cultivated, as most in that part of the country.

11th. We set off pretty early, and getting directions, found our way to J. S.'s, who received us kindly. As they knew nothing of our coming, though they said they had looked for some Friends the preceding evening, and the time was so short, but little notice could be spread of our intention to be at the meeting; yet from what was said, I supposed it would have been still less, than the little company we met there. They seemed to be in a low state, as regards the knowledge of a right exercise of mind, in the performance of spiritual worship; having fallen into great indifference respecting the attendance of their meetings. The feeling was very affecting; but after sitting in much poverty, I was moved to bring to view, the deadening influence of a worldly spirit, and to labor to stir them up to consider seriously their situation, and to come under the refining power of Christ, that they might be qualified to support his cause. We dined with a member, who looked nothing like a Friend; and had an opportunity with him and his family; in which were plainly laid before them the responsibility of parents, and the influence of their example.

12th. Took our departure, this morning, over the hills for Downingtown. On approaching the Conestoga valley, it lay before us as a beautiful expanse of well-fenced and cultivated fields, with substantial farm-houses; where the hand of industry has done much to please and to accommodate man. All this is proper in its place, but falls short of securing true happiness to the owners, without a life of godliness, and devotion to the will and the glory of the great Creator. About two o'clock, we reached our stopping-place, where we remained until next afternoon.

13th. Being first day, a pretty large company of men convened at the meeting, the women not so many. To me it was rather a laborious time, among a class who seemed much in a worldly spirit; but Divine help was extended, and the importance of regeneration, and a life of godliness, was enforced. Towards the close, I was enabled to prostrate myself, in humble supplication, for the negligent and unfaithful; for the young people and the few burden-bearers; that the Lord would work in us all by his love and mighty power, to the reduction of everything into obedience to Himself, and preserve us every moment from the power of temptation; that we may fill up the measure of allotted suffering and duty, to the glory of his Name, and our salvation in the end. It was a tendering close to some, and I came away cleared and peaceful. Returned to our lodgings, dined, and soon after left for West-town; which we reached after a muddy ride, the roads being much softened by the melted snow.

14th. Attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, at Concord; in which a little ability was granted, to encourage those present, to engage with renewed zeal and diligence, in the Lord's cause and work. At our friend N. Sharpless, we had the company of dear friends, with whom I passed the evening with satisfaction.

15th. Rose with desires for preservation in lowliness of mind, that I might abide with the suffering Seed, and be kept under Divine guidance; so as to do nothing but what was of the Holy Spirit's begetting and putting forth. Early in the meeting, a woman Friend, E. S., appeared in prayer; and sometime after, I was led to declare as my belief, there is still preserved among us, those who are standing for the Truth, and who are clothed with fear on their own account; to whom the language of the Savior is applicable, “Fear not, little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Towards these, with whom I was united in the love and fellowship of the gospel, the stream of encouragement and consolation flowed freely. Then in the tender love of God, I was drawn to address the dear young people, and to invite them to come to the Savior and follow Him, and He would prepare them for his work in the church. The power of the adorable Head rose into dominion, and it was a humbling, contriting season; I thought more so than I have often known; for which I was humbled and thankful to the Lord's great Name.

In the afternoon, we rode to Birmingham, and put up with a Friend, near the old meeting-house; near which many of the slain at the battle of Brandywine, during the revolutionary war, were interred. A christian must feel horror at the thought of immortal beings being rushed into the presence of Almighty God, in the fury of battle, and with every nerve strained to murder and beat down their fellow candidates for immortality and eternal blessedness. How can it be, that any one who believes in the coming and sufferings of the Son of God, to save lost man; who died that we might live to Him, can contend that war and bloodshed are lawful, and still less engage in them. To love our enemies, which is his command, is totally incompatible with using every effort to destroy them. “A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

16th. A storm blew up in the night, with heavy rain, which gave the morning a dreary appearance, and led us to expect our appointed meeting would be small; but a greater number came than I had looked for. Salvation by the coming of Christ, in the flesh and by his Holy Spirit, transforming man, was preached, and the fearful consequences of denying his divinity and propitiatory offering for our sins, were held up to view. The burden-bearers, and the dear young people, were encouraged to come to the compassionate Shepherd of the sheep, and apply to Him for wisdom and strength to do his will.

In the afternoon, we went to our aged friend Moses Bailey's, and lodged. He was from home, but his family treated us with much kindness, and in the morning, his son piloted us over to Cain meeting-house. Attended the Select Quarterly Meeting, composed of seven men and two women Friends. It appeared to be in a low condition, and I was drawn to hold up the importance of faithful dedication to the cause of Christ, as examples of the flock; to warn them as watchmen on the walls, which the great Head has placed around us, of the snares with which the enemy seeks to lay us waste. Also of the importance of deep, inward abiding with Christ, that wherever we go, the savor of Divine life may go with us, and have an influence upon others. They were also reminded of the tendency of our young people to go into the fashions of a corrupt world, and to become rulers over their parents, instead of their parents governing and restraining them in these things. These remarks flowed like a gentle stream, accompanied with an affectionate desire for their strength and encouragement.

Dined at J. E.'s, where we had a little opportunity to hold up to some present, that the harvest was plenteous, and the laborers few, and to invite them to increased dedication. Went to C. D.'s and lodged, where we received very kind attention.

18th. The weather was now fine, and the roads on the hills pretty good, which is desirable at the convening of this Quarterly Meeting. Nearly all the old members and standard-bearers of this meeting have been removed by death. There are young and middle-aged persons, who appear to be consistent Friends, and under a right exercise, yet there was a feeling of weakness, and of degeneracy among many. I was engaged to show the necessity of being brought to feel our own nothingness, and to submit to those dispensations, by which we are brought into the state of a little child; so as to know Christ's kingdom and reign to be set up in the heart, and to receive from Him gifts to occupy to his praise. When we are brought into the household of faith, and into a humbling view of ourselves, it is needful to guard against the temptation to cast away our shield, and be thereby disabled from performing our duties in the church. By looking improperly at the many discouragements of this day of great trial, we may suffer ourselves to be cast down, as if there was no hope. I believed the Lord was at work in the hearts of the young people; and it is our place to keep the faith that He will arise for our help and deliverance; and under his direction, that we be found inviting and drawing them to Christ, and encouraging them to be faithful to all his requirings. Rode to W. N. S.'s about two miles, and lodged; having Moses Bailey for our guide.

19th. The ride this morning was over a rough road to West Cain, and the weather cold, with a northeast wind. The appointed meeting here was larger than was anticipated, some Presbyterians, separatists and others, with a few Friends; to whom the gospel was preached, of the universal love of God to man, in sending his well-beloved Son to save the world, by the atonement made by Him, and by giving to all a measure of grace; showing that all may be saved if they obey its teachings. This was declared in the fresh openings and authority of the Holy Spirit. I was also bowed in humble prayer for the extending of heavenly good to all, that living witnesses might be raised up in that place, to the power and excellency of the religion of the Lord Jesus. It appeared to me to be a day of favor and Divine condescension to us poor unworthy creatures; for surely it was the Lord's work to open matter for the conditions of the people.

We dined about half a mile from the meeting-house; and before leaving, Moses Bailey and I went to see an aged Friend. She appeared to be an afflicted woman, and yet showed the dignity and composure, with which the Lord clothes those who have loved and served Him to old age, in a life of devotion to his cause and the welfare of the church. There was a word of consolation sprang in my heart for her, and we parted under feelings of respect and sympathy for an aged servant of Christ, now in her eighty-seventh year.

We had a very rough ride over the hills to Moses Baily's, the roads continuing to be hard frozen; but it was pleasant to return to the peaceful residence of this honest-hearted elder, and his kind wife.

20th. First-day. Attended Bradford Meeting, which was large, composed of Friends and others. It was not so comforting a time as at some places; yet there was ability afforded to open many things pertaining to the condition of man in transgression, the means to bring him out of it, and the necessity of continued watchfulness after we are brought out; for Satan is at work, even to draw down those, who may be as stars in the firmament of God's power. The necessity of rightly governing the children, restraining them from wrong things, and setting them a proper example, was laid before them. As we come under this religious exercise, we shall be favored, at seasons, to hold communion with our heavenly Father, and thus know our strength renewed. He said, respecting his servant, “Shall I hide from Abraham that thing that I do? For I know him, that he will command his household and his children after him;” hereby confirming the importance of rightly governing our beloved children; which can be done only as we are living under the Divine government ourselves, feeling the great importance of this subjection to, and communion with the Lord, and receiving wisdom and ability from Him to order our own households.

Returned to Moses Baily's, and dined with a company of Friends who stopped there. In the afternoon, we rode ten or eleven miles to East Sadsbury, and lodged. On the 22nd, we attended an appointed meeting here; and that afternoon, after dining with a woman Friend, and having a religious opportunity with her and children, we rode up to Bart. Next day had an appointed meeting there, with a company of tender-spirited Friends, to our and their satisfaction. Then rode to the house of a Friend belonging to Sadsbury Meeting, where we lodged; and on the 23rd, attended their regular meeting, which was small and laborious.

There was a measure of holy help vouchsafed to perform what appeared to be required in these meetings. I thought there were sincerely concerned Friends in all of them, and some of the younger and middle-aged, appear to be under religious exercise; among whom I hoped there would be some raised up, whom the Lord would qualify to support the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel, under the guidance of his Spirit. Surely were we faithful, abounding in the work of the Lord, the same good Hand that gathered our forefathers, from the “lo heres, and lo theres,” would still be with us, and exalt his name and his goodness in the midst of us.

24th. Were at the Western Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, which is very small. Here we met my brother Joseph Evans and wife, and sister Hannah Rhoads, which was cheering. All of us went to J. P.'s, a pleasant resting place, and remained until the next day; which afforded an opportunity to enquire after our home connections and friends, and to partake in the satisfaction of free and pleasant converse with our kind entertainers.

25th. Attended the Quarterly Meeting for business. I was brought low in sitting down in the meeting, feeling unworthy to be employed in the Lord's work; but after a time of inward reduction, and looking to the alone Helper of his people, the quickening power of his Spirit sprung up a little in my mind, and under its guidance, I was led to open the simplicity and certainty of the gospel dispensation; adapted to all capacities, and brought home to every heart; that man with all his wisdom and research, cannot find out any other way, by which the soul can be saved; nor is he able by any power that he possesses as a creature, even to give himself a sight of his lost condition.

He only, who is the way, the truth and the life, can show him where and what he is, and what He requires him to become; giving him power to forsake sin; and He alone can set up his kingdom in his heart. When the rich man, in a state of torment, besought Abraham to send one to warn his brethren, lest they should come into that place, Abraham answered, they have Moses and the prophets, let them hear them; but still urging his request, he was told, “If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.” When Christ came, He said, “I am the door. He that enters not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.” And the apostle said, “Though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you, than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.” All these show there is no way of salvation but that which is appointed by our great and gracious Creator; and unless man complies with the terms, there is no ground on which to rest any hope of being saved in the end. I thought the humbling power of Christ spread over the meeting, and brought with it a feeling of solemnity and contrition of spirit. My sister Hannah Rhoads, knelt in supplication and thanksgiving, which humbled the hearts of many. After the meeting we dined, went to Fallowfield and lodged.

26th. We had a meeting at this place, the number of Friends being small; and some of them giving little evidence in their appearance, of feeling regard for the simplicity and self-denial of the cross and gospel of Christ; being gone out into the spirit and fashions of the world; with whom I was engaged to labor, in order to draw them to yield to the Holy Spirit in their own hearts. I was also led to supplicate our merciful Heavenly Father, on behalf of his afflicted children, and for the gathering of those who have wandered from the right way, and that He would extend preservation to all.

27th. Went to West Grove Meeting, where formerly belonged our ancient and honorable friends William and Hannah Jackson; whose memory is precious, and their solid christian example worthy to be followed more faithfully than it has been, by many in that meeting. Notice having been given two days before, and being first-day, the company was large, many not being members. The service was laborious, but I felt clear and peaceful at the close. Dined, and then rode to Joshua Sharpless', at London Britain.

28th. Had an appointed meeting at London Britain, composed of Friends and others; in which I was drawn forth for the encouragement of the devoted few in this place, that they might increase in faithfulness to the Lord and his cause. Towards the close of what I had to deliver, I was led to warn against the spirit that was rejecting the gospel of Christ, and turning the back upon the Holy Scriptures; that the end of those who submitted to it would be awful, did they persist until the day of mercy was overpast. I was a stranger to such, if there were any in the meeting; but afterwards was told there was one at least of that character present.

Third month 1st. The weather was cloudy and foggy most of yesterday; this morning it rained, and appeared very dreary to turn out in, but we rode about four miles to Hockesson. But few Friends belong here; some of them were absent from indisposition and other causes, yet the company was larger than we had reason to expect. It was an exercising time to me, so few seeming to be acquainted with spiritual worship, and that travail of soul which is necessary for our life in the Truth. The workings of an evil disposition to draw persons away from the religion of the gospel, prevails in some, which brings darkness into meetings.

2nd. Attended their usual week-day meeting, at New Garden; in which the gospel of Christ was declared, and Friends encouraged to increased faithfulness in the support of our testimonies.

3rd. Went to Kennet Meeting; in which the necessity of placing our confidence and trust in the Shepherd of Israel, and not depending upon man, was held forth among them; in accordance with the apostle's testimony, that his speech and his preaching were “Not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power; that their faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.”

The visit to most of the meetings of this Quarter has been attended with the apprehension, that the spirit of infidelity in some form, is striving to lay waste the doctrines of the christian religion, and to draw some of our members into its dreadful vortex. Unless Friends keep watchful over themselves and their children, prohibiting the use of those pernicious publications that set forth and contend for these delusions; and also abstaining from associating with unbelievers, the minds of their young people may be poisoned, and the Society in these parts be scattered.

4th. After dining, we rode to Willistown, where we had notice spread for a meeting to be held on the 4th; which we attended, to some comfort; and the next day, the 5th, had a meeting at Goshen; both of which were satisfactory. The spirits of the humble, exercised travailers for Zion's prosperity, were a little revived, and encouraged to trust in the Lord, and to labor for the welfare of the flock, over whom they are overseers. We lodged the preceding night, with our friends Pennock and Sarah Passmore, with whom and others here, the cementing influence of gospel fellowship was felt to unite us together.

After dining with J. and P. K., we rode to West Chester, and put up at the residence of our beloved mother in the Truth, Hannah Gibbons; who received us with much kindness, and under whose roof and maternal care we felt it a favor to be lodged.

6th. Being first-day, we had a pretty full meeting of Friends and others; and the Lord condescended to furnish ability to call upon all who had not submitted to his convicting power, and to show to them that He had not dealt with us according to our deserts; but in merciful and unmerited long suffering and forbearance, was still following after the rebellious, and striving to draw them into the obedience of the cross of Christ. These were pleaded with, in the love of the gospel, to receive the Lord Jesus in the way of his coming, whether in tendering their hearts, with a humbling sense of his goodness, or when He reveals his righteous judgments, and shows them the inevitable consequences of walking in sin and transgression. Those present, who had entered into covenant with their Lord and Master, were encouraged to persevere faithfully to the end; that they may be lights in the world, preachers of righteousness to others, and thereby be made instrumental in drawing souls to Christ. That in the end, the language may be addressed to them, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful in a few things, I will make you ruler over more. Enter you into the joy of your Lord.”

After dining, we took an affectionate farewell of our dear aged friend H. Gibbons, and rode to West-town. In their afternoon meeting, I was brought into much sympathy with the superintendents and caretakers, on account of the arduousness of their charge; and was led to address them with the language, “Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season, we shall reap if we faint not;” and to show that humiliating dispensations are necessary to reduce man, so that he may not say, by mine own wisdom and strength have I done this; but find that all saving, preserving help comes from the Lord, that He may be sought unto and have the praise. I believe some were comforted by the little that was said; they seemed unwilling to let us depart; but I felt best satisfied to go to a Friend's house near Middletown, and stay that night.

7th. Had a meeting at Middletown, which was rather a laborious time. Dined with George Smedley, and in the afternoon, rode to the residence of my brother-in-law J. Rhoads, where I stayed until next afternoon, and then went to our friend's, Enos Sharpless, near Chester. My mind was plunged into a low, emptied condition, so that I was tempted to fear I should not finish the journey to the honor of Truth, and the benefit of those I visited. Our friends were very kind and sympathizing, though they knew not my feelings or fears.

9th. Was their regular meeting here; and in the midst of my poverty, the Lord condescended to furnish a word, and to give faith to arise and deliver it; and there seemed to be some quickening power attending, which went over the hearts of the people. Returned to E. Sharpless' and dined; from which we were taken to Chester village; where, in order to escape the muddy roads, we took the cars for Wilmington, leaving our horses and carriage behind.

10th. Attended Wilmington Monthly Meeting, and labored among them in the love of the gospel, to strengthen the hands of the faithful, and to persuade the worldly-minded and the negligent to turn to the Lord, with full purpose of heart, and serve Him, that they may become partakers of the peace which He gives, which passes all understanding of the natural man; and being joined to the Lamb's army, may support his blessed cause in the earth. Satisfaction was expressed with our company, and the labor. In the afternoon, took the cars for Chester; where we were met by our friend Jesse J. Maris, and went to his house.

11th. The weather was stormy, with snow, hail and rain; not very pleasant to turn out into; but we rode about six miles to Chichester, to be at an appointed meeting; which, though small, was larger than we had expected. In condescension to his poor creature, man, the Lord tendered us together, to the help and comfort of a little flock; for whose help, supplication was made to the Father of mercies.

After dinner, falling into silence, I had a little to communicate to the younger members of the family; in which they were reminded of the all important work of their salvation. We had about eleven miles to ride, this afternoon, to reach my brother-in-law J. Rhoads', and it was very pleasant to be again in company with his beloved family.

Next day I spent mostly at my brother Joseph Evans'; and was humbled, under a sense of much un worthiness, and great inability to do anything in the good cause, unless the Lord continued to take the work into his own hand, and wrought for us.

13th. Went to Springfield Meeting in much weakness, and was rather surprised at the number of people who came. Although I was let down under a deep feeling of my unfitness for any good word or work, yet after a time of waiting before the Lord, a measure of holy help was extended, and I believe the gospel was preached in the authority of Christ. I was also bowed in deep prostration of soul, and enabled, vocally, to return thanks to our gracious and merciful Helper, that He had not cast us off; and to ask for the continuance of his preserving power; and that He would, in tender compassion, gather the dear children, to submit to and follow their Savior. The heart-tendering power of Truth went over the meeting, and contrited many; for which thanksgiving and praise were rendered to Him who alone is worthy.

After dining at my brother Joel's, rode to my home, and I was glad to be again united to my dear wife and children, under our peaceful roof; and for the preservation of my health and safe return, I was thankful to my Heavenly Father.

18th. We had a comfortable Meeting for Sufferings; a pretty large committee was appointed to prepare, if way opened, an epistle of counsel and advice to the members of our own Yearly Meeting. 20th. Darby Meeting not having been visited, I was taken there this morning. We found it a small company. It seemed to be my place, to labor to strengthen the things that remain, that are ready to die; and to pray for their help, and the welfare of their young people, that testimony-bearers to the Truth may yet be raised up among them.

23rd. Gave back my minute to the Monthly Meeting, with the acknowledgment, that though the service was a trial of faith, Divine mercy accompanied us from place to place, and enabled me to discharge the duty required, to the satisfaction of my own mind.

30th. I was brought low in the prospect of our approaching Yearly Meeting; yet at times there is granted a grain of faith, producing the hope and confidence that the Lord will not forsake us. But it is not in the power of man to keep us. Unless He interferes and says to the sea, “Peace, be still,” we cannot experience a calm; and I believe He will do it, if we are united in prayer to Him, to regard us in mercy, and sustain us in the hollow of his hand.

Fourth month 15th. This day we had a satisfactory Meeting for Sufferings; there being much unity with several documents which had been prepared; particularly with an epistle of caution and counsel, addressed to the members of our own Yearly Meeting; which had been prepared by a committee appointed therefor. I believe the advice contained in it, is not only pertinent and needful, on account of the degeneracy which has been spread among us, but at the same time, will tend to draw the members to their own condition. We have need to be called home to work in our own vineyards.

18th. The Yearly Meeting convened today, and epistles were received from all the Yearly Meetings we correspond with. The proceedings of the Meeting for Sufferings were well approved; and when the state of the subordinate branches of the Yearly Meeting was considered, there was a solid covering over the meeting, which was encouraging. The epistle of caution and counsel to our members, prepared by the Meeting for Sufferings, was adopted, and directed to be signed by the clerk, on behalf of the Yearly Meeting; much unity being expressed with it. The business of the meeting was conducted with much harmony, through the different sittings. Several Friends manifested greater interest, and spoke to the business with more freedom, than for several years; which had a good effect in promoting feelings of unity. The committee on the epistles to other meetings harmonized well in the essays which they prepared, and the same was apparent in the meeting, at their reading. As we drew to a close, a solemn covering spread over us; and on reading the parting minute, a profound silence prevailed, under which the meeting concluded; Friends being thankful for the goodness of the blessed Head of the church, in binding us together in so much harmony, and affording us the strength and comfort, mercifully granted; which I believe drew us nearer to one another, in the hope that the Lord would increase the unity, and again make us feel as one people.

Fifth month 9th. I went by stage to Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, and was exercised in the ministry in the first sitting.

Since returning from Delaware and Chester Counties, in the Third month, I have been almost entirely shut up in silence. Friends expressed their gladness of the visit today; yet I felt low, though free of any sense of condemnation. The country, after frequent showers, has a beautiful verdure, and appears likely to be covered with rich crops of grain and grass, for the subsistence of rebellious man. What multitudes of blessings we have to be thankful for. So great iniquity abounding in the land, these bounties are an evidence of the compassion and long forbearance of a merciful God, who continues to cause the rain to descend, and the sun to shine, on the just and on the unjust, and the earth regularly to yield such abundant food for man and beast.

31st. In a visit which my wife and I made at this time, to Burlington Quarterly Meeting, we dined with a Friend who resides in an old house on the main street, which had been occupied by his father-in-law, a minister; where Richard Jordan and others resorted to at times, and enjoyed a mutual interchange of thought and experience in the things of God, with much comfort and interest to one another. We were also told that our beloved uncle T. Scattergood, went to school in his boyhood, in the room they occupy as a parlor. The association of ideas with these circumstances, though of little serious importance, called up pleasant recollections of these worthies, who were men of God, and loved and served Him in the gospel of his dear Son, and in gathering souls to Christ.

Sixth month 10th. Was at the Arch Street Meeting; in which the language of the Savior was revived, that “Men ought always to pray and not to faint.” God would hear his own elect, that cry day and night unto Him, and that speedily. The elect are not to take revenge upon those who oppress them; but the day will come, in which all will be brought to judgment; and those who have been bringing suffering upon the living members of the church, and in whom the precious seed is borne down, as a cart with sheaves, will have to bear their own burdens of Divine judgment and condemnation. It felt to me to be very important for such to be willing to have their hearts searched, and to forsake those things which the Divine controversy is with, before it be too late. The exercised ones were encouraged to hold on their way, being willing to be humbled again and again, to the state of a child, that they may be preserved from sliding from the sure foundation. It was a season of renewed favor; in which the gospel was preached in its own authority, and the seed visited. The pride and loftiness of man in his earthly possessions and strength, were declared against, and the liability of some to think too lightly of death, as if it were an easy thing, without sufficiently regarding its awfulness, was alluded to; “If the righteous scarcely are saved, where shall the ungodly and sinner appear?”

14th. Not having been at the Northern District meeting for some time, and feeling my mind drawn to go there this morning. I went and sat a long time in a low state; but before closing the meeting. I gave up in a humbled condition, to exhort them to watchfulness and prayer, and to warn some who were soaring above the witness for God, to come down, that they may know the work of humiliation and bowedness of soul for themselves; for no man or woman can do the work for them. The humble, sincere travailers were encouraged to keep the faith and the patience of the saints; which, I believe, contrited the hearts of some, who had been wading as in deep waters.

15th. In our own meeting, I was not easy when near time to close, without mentioning the parable, in which our Lord compared the kingdom of heaven to “A net that was cast into the sea and gathered of every kind; which when it was full, they drew to shore, and sat down and gathered the good into vessels, but cast the bad away.” And it is said, “So shall it be at the end of the world; the angels shall come forth and sever the wicked from the just.” It appeared to me that many had the offers of salvation by the grace of God in their hearts, and had in days past given up to it in degree, but through negligence and disobedience, were in danger of suffering the time to pass away unimproved; and awful will be their condition, if the end of all things here, comes to them in this state.

16th. This morning my brother took me to Evesham, to attend Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, which was large. The removal of such an experienced father and pillar from among them, as our late beloved friend Hinchman Haines, left a peculiarly stripped sensation, in sitting down in the meeting. I sat for a considerable time under a sense of a contrary spirit, and though some openings presented, they gradually disappeared and seemed to die, and I felt willing to pass the meeting in silence, if it was the Master's will; which I thought it was probable would be the case. After abiding in this state of death, some secret stirrings and quickenings gradually arose, and light shone upon the necessity of every one knowing and keeping his place in the body, and acting only as the Master appoints; by which the beautiful order and harmony are preserved. His servants are not to go out with haste, nor to go by flight, but the Lord shall go before them, and the God of Israel shall be their reward. The true Shepherd puts forth his own sheep, and goes before them; and the sheep follow Him; and He is also their rearguard and defense.

Every member of the Society has his rights, that others are to respect, which if they do, will make them fellow helpers. They will be tender of one another, and because of a difference of opinion, where religious principles are not involved, will not cultivate the spirit that would call down fire upon the head of a brother or a sister, but will keep in the suffering Spirit of the Redeemer; who when He was nailed to the cross, said of his crucifiers, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” It is in this heavenly spirit, that we learn, and are enabled to endure hardness, as good soldiers of Jesus Christ. But those who give way to a resentful spirit, towards others, who do not see eye to eye with them on some things non-essential, not having a tender feeling for the rights and the sufferings of their brethren, will be far from enjoying true peace and happiness; but are like the troubled sea, casting up mire and dirt. The young people were encouraged to devote themselves to the Lord and his cause; and the afflicted and sorrowful to look to, and rely upon Him who can give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Many Friends showed their unity with the visit.

Seventh month 2nd. Early this morning my mother-in-law, Rebecca Barton, closed a long life, we may safely believe, in peace, in the ninety-first year of her age. She was an exemplary Friend, and anxious mother, manifested in her godly care over her children when young, that they might be preserved from evil; also in the guard which she kept over her own speech; particularly in avoiding everything prejudicial to the reputation of others. She loved and cherished peace towards all men.

4th. Today we have had much noise in the city; and the many cases of intemperance in young men have been mournful. The people seem hardly to think that the Almighty takes any cognizance of evil deeds, committed under the pretext of celebrating the Declaration of the Independence of this country, of Great Britain. I believe it best and most consistent with our religious profession, to keep aloof from all exhibitions of such character; designed to celebrate events, attended with the effusion of human blood. Public parades on various accounts, are increasing in our city; by which life is sometimes put at stake, and destroyed, and evil habits of idleness and drunkenness, and looseness of principles and manners are thereby contracted by the working classes, who are most drawn away with such exhibitions.

Friends may be esteemed narrow-minded, in standing opposed to such vanity and wickedness; but there have always been witnesses for the truth, who have withstood the popular current, and been as the salt to preserve society from becoming entirely corrupt. “Great peace have all they that love your law,” and keep steadily in the observance of it. When the bustle and confusion are past, they have nothing to look back upon with condemnation. Peace of mind and health of body have not been impaired, by a departure from their conscientious convictions, and their example has tended to discourage vice, not to lead others into it.

I have seldom known more desertion of the sense of Divine good, than in the last two weeks. I have tried to draw near to the Father of mercies, to feel after Him, that I might be enabled to pour forth living aspirations for mercy, and grace to help in this time of need; but often it seemed almost impossible to keep out the suggestions of the evil one, and utterly beyond my power to attain to any evidence of the extension of Divine regard; though I believe there has been secret help bestowed to keep watch against all evil thoughts, words and deeds. Sometimes it feels desirable to be released from the conflicts of time; but then the importance of knowing the day's work accomplished, and the soul thoroughly washed, and prepared for that glorious kingdom, presents with great weight.

I believe there is no other way to get along rightly, but to bear patiently the dispensations of unerring Wisdom, and to trust and hope in his unchangeable goodness and compassion towards the souls he has made to glorify Him.

10th. Our meeting is much reduced by Friends going to the country for health and needful relaxation. Silence reigned in the morning sitting; in the afternoon I felt constrained to revive the testimony of the apostle, “That the trial of your faith being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it be tried in the fire, might be found unto praise and power and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” True and living faith and the necessary dispensations for its trial, are of more value to the real christian, than all the gold he can possess. Were not our faith reduced at times to a low state, and the mind led through conflicts and fears of a very proving nature, we should not so fully know the efficacy and the value of saving faith. I was led to speak of the reduction and sense of destitution which the Lord's children are at times brought into, so as to fear, that one day they may fall by the hand of their enemy. But He knows our frame and our weakness; and if in these humbling baptisms, we lift up our eye to Him, imploring his protecting power, He will not desert us; but the everlasting arm, though invisible to us, will be underneath to support, and to defend us from our cruel enemy. And when He sees we have been sufficiently prostrated, He will lift us up again, and the Sun of Righteousness will arise upon us, with healing and renovating power and virtue, strengthen us to gird up our loins, put our trust anew in Him, and run the race of his appointing and leading. Some souls were comforted, and tears of thankfulness flowed to the Lord most High; and a dear Friend returned thanks, and offered prayer for the continued mercy and preserving power of the blessed Shepherd of the sheep.

12th. My wife and myself went out to our brother's, at Springfield, to spend two or three weeks with them. It is a quiet, peaceful retreat, where the physical and mental powers may be invigorated.

17th. Was at their first-day meeting; in which it appeared to be my place to endeavor to stir up the people to engage more fervently in the great work of their own salvation, while time and the day of mercy are lengthened to them. We have to hope against hope, there appears so little fruit from all the labor bestowed; and yet how much wider many would stray from the fold, we know not, were no warning voice raised, or any evidence given, that we are deeply interested in their everlasting welfare.

On second-day morning, the 25th, came into the city to our select Preparative Meeting; also attended our Monthly Meeting on the 27th, which was satisfactory.

31st. I was engaged in our first-day morning meeting, in declaring our faith in the Divine authority and the value of the Holy Scriptures; also in the universality of the gift of Divine grace, through our Lord Jesus Christ; by which the work of regeneration and sanctification is effected in the heart of man, and he is brought up into the image of God, in which Adam was created, and from which he fell by transgression. Holy help was mercifully extended, opening these Divine, essential truths with clearness, and clothing with authority to communicate them; so that, I trust, they reached the witness in some hearts present.

Eighth month 1st. Our Quarterly Meeting was a solid time; in which my dear wife was drawn forth in sympathy with the suffering seed, and led to encourage these to keep the faith and patience of the saints; believing the Lord would hear and arise for the groans of his children, and deliver them in his way and time. E. Pitfield concluded in prayer for the tribulated ones, and that we may keep the everlasting patience. There was but little business; the meeting was preserved under a proper weight.

4th. Went to Middletown Meeting, where we found a company of Friends, who seemed to me to be holding back too much from religious service. Some partly from being taken up with their worldly business, and partly from diffidence of their ability for service. It appeared to be my duty to warn them of the engrossing things of this life, which are proper in their right place; and also of dwelling too much upon discouraging apprehensions of their own weakness and inability for any good work in the church; but to remember that the enemy is at hand to urge such thoughts, for the purpose of deterring us from seeking the Lord for strength, and from laying hold of it, when offered, with the pointings of duty. Even a few faithful, devoted ones, may be instrumental in stirring up others to yield to the Lord's requirings, and to show themselves openly on his side. It was a low time in Israel, when Jonathan and his armor-bearer showed themselves to the Philistines, who unwittingly confirmed the sign of victory; and by faith in the Lord's power, they attacked their enemies, and led the way for their being put to rout; the Lord in a marvelous manner striking terror through the host, and setting their swords against one another. I thought Divine goodness, and the quickening virtue of the Holy Spirit, was a little felt among us.

11th. I felt drawn in love to Friends of Salem Quarterly Meeting, and went to Woodbury through some discouragements; where I was kindly received by many Friends. The removal by death of several substantial and elderly members out of this meeting, is keenly felt by the rightly-concerned among them. But it seems to me, though we may not always be able to see it, that the Lord is leading some of the young ones in secret, to look at the condition of Zion, and to long for her strength and enlargement. Whatever may be the discouragements which this class, and those of deeper experience may endure, if they look to Him, He will sustain through all, bring them up out of low places, and cause them, if faithful to his pointings, to go on their way rejoicing. “The Lord's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance; He found him in a desert land, and in the waste, howling wilderness; He led him about, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of his eye.” It is often He thus instructs his children, and prepares them for service in his church; and as they are entirely devoted to Him, He gives them gifts to be occupied for the edification of others, and their own salvation.

In his renewed mercy, He raised me up to declare of his goodness and compassion, and my belief that a succession of testimony and standard-bearers, would be again and again raised up among us, to maintain the principles and testimonies which He called our forefathers to promulgate. It was a season of renewed favor and comfort to us, and I hope some were cheered and strengthened, and the praise ascribed to Him to whom alone it belongs. In the afternoon returned home peaceful.

14th. First-day. The weather is extremely warm, and has been so most of the time since the Sixth month. Many have been overcome with the heat, according to the accounts published in the papers, and some have died suddenly. Our religious meetings are greatly reduced; but I hope many of those who continue in the city, are praying in spirit, that the Lord will regard us in our low estate.

I was engaged to refer to the vision of the stone cut out of the mountain without hands, which smote and broke to pieces the image, and ground it to powder, so that it was carried away like the chaff of the summer threshing-floor. It grew until it filled the whole earth, showing the power and final prevalence of the kingdom of Christ, and the weakness of every obstacle placed in his way. This is also to be experienced in ourselves; that every idol man is worshipping, instead of the living God, may be destroyed; every high thing laid low, and the Lord alone exalted in the heart. Herein we shall be brought to the enjoyment of true peace and happiness, and a solid ground to hope for a place among the saints in light, when the end comes.

15th. Went to Germantown, and attended the funeral of our late friend Ann Mifflin, who died in her seventy-fifth year; having been a member, I am told, of our Monthly Meeting, from her birth. She was attached to our principles and testimonies, and was placed in the station of elder several years ago. One after another of the older members are removing, who occupied stations in the church, and it ought to be the prayer of survivors, that the Lord in mercy would lay his hand upon sons and daughters, and bring them under a living concern for themselves, and for his blessed cause; that a succession of standardbearers may be continued, to attract others to the blessed cause of the Redeemer.

Ninth month 2nd. To-morrow commences Ohio Yearly Meeting; which brings with it the feeling of deep interest and sympathy with our dear friends there, who bear the burden and heat of the day. It is desirable they may be enabled to look to their own condition, and labor to repair and build up the breaches, and to derive a little comfort from the fresh extendings of heavenly good; showing that the Lord has not deserted them nor the cause they espouse.

8th. In conversation on the peculiar state of our Society, and in reference to the wishes of some for separation, I took the opportunity to say that I did not unite with Friends running out of a back door, to get away from trouble. Our place is to stand firm and face it openly, contending for the truth, and opposing wrong things as they appear. Separation deprives those who leave, of the opportunity of opposing error in the members from whom they have separated; and none know how soon something may again arise among themselves, to create contention, and lead to another separation. If we keep our places, and bear a faithful testimony for the truth, and against all departures from it, though at the time we do not see the effect, yet we may believe that the Lord will carry that testimony home to the hearts of some, so that it will arise from time to time with convincing power, and finally prevail. Jerusalem is a burdensome stone, to those who would pervert and turn judgment backward, and the Lord can save by few or by many.

Where unsanctified persons obtain the rule, and seek to carry out measures opposed to the principles or testimonies of the gospel, the rightly concerned and faithful members, should labor in the ability the Lord gives, to prevent their adoption. Should their efforts be disregarded, they will be clear, if they have done what they could; the Lord will plead his own cause, and we hope will in his time, make way for the truth to rise into dominion. Seducers and evil-workers will wax worse and worse; they will be removed by death as well as others; and through patient suffering, a right seed keeping their places, will be prepared to take the government, under the Blessed Head, and to restore the good old way, in which our primitive Friends walked, and to put down what is inconsistent therewith.

11th. Our first-day meeting was evidently larger than it had been for weeks; the weather being cool and fine. From some cause the meetings are at times laborious seasons, it is so difficult to attain that seclusion from worldly things, indispensable to the performance of spiritual worship. I felt for some strangers who came in, and towards the latter part of the meeting, was moved to hold forth the doctrine, that man is not left to his own exertions to find out the will of God concerning him, but it is immediately made known to him by the Holy Spirit, which enlightens the dark heart; and as those manifestations are obeyed, it gives the power to forsake sin, and to do those things which it requires; in doing which, the work of regeneration is carried on, and a total change of heart is effected. I believe the testimony reached some present with conviction, though they do not obey the Truth as they should do.

18th. A day of remarkable absence of all sense of Divine good, attended with difficulty in withdrawing the mind from worldly cogitations, and centering it upon spiritual things. It was a decided proof of the weakness and nothingness of man, unable without the help of the Holy Spirit, to think a good thought, or to command the least evidence of heavenly notice or regard. Surely there must be a design in being thus stripped. May it more and more humble me into the dust, preserve from relying on past experience, and prepare for the manifestation of fresh mercy, and the ability to declare of the Lord's power and goodness, and faithfulness to his poor creature, man, in the renewed extension of it to my soul in the hour of need, and when He sees meet.

19th. This morning I awoke with desires to lay aside all unnecessary anxiety, and to put my trust in the Lord; assured that He would preserve those who looked to Him, and would sustain his own cause. The language passed through my mind, “They that trust in the Lord, shall not be confounded; they shall be as Mount Zion, that cannot be removed.” The holy presence seemed to be near.

Chapter XXIX

1853—1854

Religious Services at and about Home.

1853, Ninth month 25th. We have had a good meeting this morning at Orange Street. My dear wife addressed those who were brought under conviction for their empty, fruitless manner of life, and were now favored to see the need of a change. Near the close, I underwent the humiliating service of vocal supplication, in much brokenness, for the deliverance of such souls out of bondage and Egyptian darkness; and that during the Divine administration of judgment, they might know the Spirit of the Lord lifted up, as a standard against the enemy, who would seek to frustrate his work in them. Also, for the Lord's children: that as He knew the trials, fears and buffetings they passed through, He would not forsake them; but renew their faith, and keep them in the hollow of his Omnipotent hand, that so they may show forth the efficacy of the religion of the Son of God, for the sake of those among whom they dwell, and for generations yet to come: that from the rising of the sun, to the going down of the same, his great name, and the name of his dear Son, may be glorified and magnified, and through mercy, salvation may be granted to us in the end. The difficulty of utterance was very abasing; but I thought it was good to be made a fool, if it were for Christ's sake, and the good of others as well as myself.

Tenth month 9th. I felt impelled to bring to view the great difference there is between those, who, according to the apostolic injunction, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks, and those who rarely pray, and who feel thankful for none of the blessings they partake of; which is truly a fearful condition. It appeared to me, if we live in the element of prayer and thanksgiving, there will be Divine life, and a fervent concern for the support and promotion of the cause and kingdom of Christ. But when he that rides on the pale horse, whose name is death, is sent to our habitation, what hope can those have who neglect true prayer, but have been wrapped up in their own selfishness and the things of time, without gratitude for favors; and have turned the back on the convicting power of Divine Grace? They may cry, if they have the time granted to do it, Lord, have mercy upon me! but how can they expect mercy, seeing they have rejected the calls of the Lord, when He visited and extended to them the offers of his mercy, and they refused to receive and obey Him. Another class was also present, who are concerned to dwell in the spirit of prayer for strength and preservation; and to give thanks in the fire and in the waters, which are not permitted to kindle upon or to overwhelm them. I thought Divine help was extended, and that the power of Christ was felt among us.

19th. This morning, under a humbling sense of the many mercies which have been extended to me, I was contrited to tears before my gracious Heavenly Father, and enabled to breathe to Him fervent prayer, that He would be pleased in his mercy, to preserve me from doing anything that would grieve his Holy Spirit, wound my own soul, or the precious cause which he has called us to support before the world. Secret desires were also raised for our religious Society, that He would defend it, and the tribulated sufferers in it, from the enemy that is seeking to divide and scatter us, and prevent us from exalting the doctrines and testimonies of the gospel, as they have been opened unto us by the power of the Holy Spirit.

2nd. At our meeting, after a time of struggling against the inroads of things foreign to the great object for which we assembled, the subject of being met in the name of Christ, and the efficacy of united prayer to the Father of mercies, came with weight before me; which I believed it required of me to open to the meeting. The worship that is accepted by Him, which is in spirit and in truth, must be performed individually; through the quickening power of the great Minister of the sanctuary and true tabernacle, which God has pitched and not man. But if the prayers of two or three, offered in the name of Christ, shall be answered, how much greater cloud of incense will arise, if the whole congregation is brought to unite in fervent aspirations to the throne of Grace, for the bread of life, to nourish the immortal soul. He knows how long to try our faith before He appears in the heart; but when He comes, to those who open the door, He will enter and sup with them, and they with Him. This is the Lord's supper; which is inward and spiritual; in which the bread that comes from Him, and the wine of the kingdom, are partaken of, to the refreshment and strength of the patient, waiting soul. For this we are not dependent upon any man, however great his gifts, or his experience; he has no more command over this heavenly food, than any other; but all must wait upon the Lord for it, in sincerity and truth; and all may partake of it at his table, if they are prepared by Him to be made recipients of it.

My wife closed the meeting with supplication, in a solemn, impressive manner. I thought Divine goodness was extended to us, and that his power spread over the assembly. There were present a number of strangers.

Eleventh month 7th. For many days I have been shut up, and all ability to preach the gospel has been withdrawn, as though I should never more be called into the work. I have been almost destitute of any sense of the quickening power; and I saw that no former openings or favors would give the least ability or authority to put forth a hand in this solemn and weighty work. I have endeavored to keep inward, and looking to the Lord, though I could not see or feel Him present; yet I believed it was the only place of safety, and the right way to be profited by these stripping dispensations. None know the feelings of destitution, produced by the absence of the Beloved of souls, but those who have been bound to Him in the everlasting covenant, and can be satisfied with nothing but the balm which He gives, and the fresh arisings of the Sun of Righteousness, with healing in his wings. Here is exercised and known the faith and the patience of the saints. As these are steadily kept, these dispensations purge man from all confidence in his own wisdom and strength, and bring him to see that he is nothing; and that nothing but the renewed visitation and putting forth of the blessed and compassionate Savior, can ever qualify for the work of the ministry; or any other religious service in the church.

10th. This morning, my wife and myself, went to Evesham Monthly Meeting, New Jersey. My wife spoke to those present, in a sympathizing and encouraging manner, and inviting them to increasing dedication and faithfulness. The expressions of our Lord to his disciples, saluted my mind with quickening virtue, “One is your Master, even Christ, and all you are brethren;” and after a time, I felt a motion to revive them, with those He addressed to them at another time, “You call me Lord and Master, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, you ought also to wash one another's feet.” I was led to treat on the importance of being baptized and washed by Him, and then to be employed in promoting the work of sanctification in others. As we come into this blessed experience, being born alike of the Spirit, we shall be brethren, knowing the unity and fellowship of the gospel to prevail among us.

12th. Attended Upper Evesham Monthly Meeting, held at this place, in which we were both engaged in the ministry of the gospel; I believe to the solemnizing of some present, whose hearts were open to receive it.

13th. Went to Cropwell Meeting, being first-day, which, it was said, was large for it. After sitting some time, and feeling the indifference which prevails in many on the subject of religion, I was led to advert to the circumstance, that persons engaging in any business to obtain a livelihood, must be aware that it could not be advantageously conducted without steady attention and diligence. Valuable crops could not be expected from their farms, if they work industriously for a short time, and then leave it; proper system and diligence are necessary to insure good returns; everything being done in its season, and carefully looked after. So in the great work of salvation, which is of far greater moment than the provision for these tabernacles of clay. No advancement can be expected by those, who for a short time, give up to the convictions of duty, and then conclude they may forbear, and let the work drop for awhile; perhaps they think until they have more leisure, or have accomplished some worldly project. They may suppose religion can be taken up when they please; but it is out of our power to command one of the days of the Son of Man, by whom alone the work is begun and perfected. None know whether He will ever again renew those heavenly visitations. There is a day granted in which man may work; but he may out-sin that day. It will then be impossible for him to work, and the things that belong to his peace will be hid from his eyes, as it was declared respecting the people of Jerusalem. They were earnestly labored with to persuade every one deeply to consider these things, and to lay hold of the offers of Divine Grace; that they may glorify God in their day, and be made partakers of the hope of the gospel, even the salvation of the soul.

The retrospect of this little turn-out, afforded a peaceful feeling, in the belief that the Lord was mercifully with us, preserved us on the watch, so that nothing was said or done to cause uneasiness; and in his goodness renewedly qualified, by his quickening power, to visit the lowly seed, to sound an alarm to some, and to comfort them that mourn.

17th. Today we went to Germantown, and were present at a marriage. A large number of strangers, not of our Society, were there; to whom the work of sanctification, and the faithfulness of Him, who begins and carries it on to the end, as we keep near to Him, was preached, I trust, in the authority of the Divine anointing.

20th. The meeting this morning at Orange Street, was a solemn time of ingathering before the Lord, producing contrition, and raising in the soul feelings of humble thanksgiving, prayer and praise, as in the presence of the Searcher of hearts, and the compassionate Shepherd of the sheep.

23rd. Our Monthly Meeting was held today. The subject of purchasing a piece of ground out of the city for a graveyard, was before us, and the proposition to do so adopted. I felt drawn to express the desire, that if it should be accomplished, we might keep to our plain way of interring the dead, without any kind of ornament, or monument about the graves. If a proper place is procured, safely and substantially inclosed, and put in charge of a suitable, trusty caretaker, and the bodies decently interred, it is all we need. The dust shall return to the earth as it was, and the spirit unto God who gave it. But if we depart, by little and little, from our religious testimonies to the purity and simplicity of the gospel of Christ, in our humble manner of living, or our plain way of laying out and burying the dead, we shall fall by little and little, and gradually lose the character we have once had as a body of humble, spiritually-minded Christians. Several Friends expressed their full unity with the remarks I made on the occasion.

Having felt a religious concern to attend Buck's Quarterly Meeting, I got my son-in-law to take me; and we set out in time to reach Fallsington before dusk, a distance of about twenty-seven miles, the roads being good and the weather mild.

24th. During the night the wind changed into the northwest, and the morning being clear and cool, I walked out for exercise, and passing around the old meeting-house, its venerable and plain appearance, reminded me of former days, when Friends were a united body of people; among whom there were many substantial ministers and elders, loving one another, and the precious cause of Truth, and zealously concerned to uphold and promote it in the earth. Now there are two meeting-houses, and two distinct societies, calling themselves Friends, who assemble on this ground, but holding, in several essential points, different doctrinal views. What a stumbling effect, it seemed to me, this must have upon tender-spirited persons, whose minds may be drawn to look towards Friends; who, from their rise have made profession of the inward, heart-changing religion of our Lord Jesus Christ. I felt sorrowful as I walked over the grounds, and reflected on the devastation which the world, and the enemy of all righteousness, has effected among us.

The meeting convened at eleven o'clock. The impression came over me, that in every age of the church, the Lord has had his witnesses, who maintained their love and allegiance unto Him. Noah and his family bore testimony against the wickedness of the people, when it was said that all flesh had corrupted its way upon the earth. Lot was preserved in Sodom, when their evil deeds vexed his righteous soul; and so I believed there were those preserved at this day, who mourn over the degeneracy that has spread through our borders, and are looking for better days. But it appeared to me, that it would not do to be looking without, for this restoration. When the Pharisees asked our Lord when the kingdom of God should appear, He told them, “The kingdom of God comes not with observation; neither shall they say, Lo here! or Lo there! for behold the kingdom of God is within you.” It is in the heart we must witness it to come. We have been long contending, and in the authority of Christ, for the doctrines of the gospel, and necessarily testifying against error; but it is needful to guard against transferring our religion from the heart to the head, and acting in our own zeal.

It is the inside of the cup and the platter that is first to be cleansed, and then the outside will be clean also. We may receive our principles by education; but some were asked what they knew of Christ sitting in their hearts as a refiner's fire, and as a fuller with soap, to purify them by his baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, and to prepare them as temples for the Lord God by his Spirit, to dwell in. At the rise of Friends, many believed in the fundamental doctrines of the christian religion, but were little acquainted with the work of regeneration; and Friends were sent forth to gather them to the Light and Grace with which Christ enlightens every man that comes into the world; that they might experience this change of heart, wrought by it in them. This is what we need to be brought back unto. One of the principal men told George Fox, that if he had not been sent to preach this Light and Grace, the country would have run into ranterism. I was led to show Friends the danger of being drawn away by anything, from this Divine guide and preserving power, as manifested in the heart; but by keeping faithful to it, the snares of the enemy, whatever they were, would be detected, and power given us over them all.

Then the word of comfort for the secret travailing ones sprang in my heart, whom I was led to address in the language of sympathy, and assurance that the Lord would not suffer the principles and testimonies given Friends to bear, to fall to the ground; but they would yet spread from sea to sea, and from the rivers to the ends of the earth, until the kingdoms of this world become the kingdom of our Lord and his Christ; and from the rising of the sun to the going down of the same, praises as incense, would ascend from prepared, humbled hearts, before the throne of the Lord God and of the Lamb, for his mercy, and goodness to the children of men.

Twelfth month 4th. Was held our first evening meeting this winter; a part of which was laborious; but before the close, a more inward, solemnizing covering was experienced.

6th. Went to West-town, and attended the Quarterly Meeting of the committee held there. In the meeting of the committee on fourth-day, after getting through with the business, Samuel Bettle, Sr., remarked, there was something of importance which money could not purchase. It was, that Friends should be preserved under a right exercise, that the institution may be conducted in such manner, as to support the primitive doctrines and testimonies of Friends, and educate the children in them. This was the original concern, and it had been blessed; and he believed, as Friends kept to this ground, a blessing would continue to rest upon the school. He spoke in a feeling manner; and being now in his eightieth year, it seemed like a legacy left to the younger members, who might survive him, to bear in mind in the future management of the seminary. It was responded to, and had a good effect upon the feelings of many. Returned home in the evening.

7th. Was at the Arch Street Meeting, which was held in as deep silence as I have almost ever known; though there was a large number of children present. I was contemplating my own imperfections, and felt unworthy to be employed in the Lord's work; yet was a little comforted in the belief, that the condescending mercy and goodness of the everlasting Shepherd were round about, and hovering over us. It is as necessary to keep silence when it is the Lord's will, as to speak under his authority. There were children present, who should be taught by solemn silence, the nature of spiritual worship, as well as by vocal testimony.

21st. Having my mind drawn to the Western Meeting, which I had not attended for a long time, I believed it right to give up to go there. A solemn silence spread over the meeting, under which we sat a considerable time, and the blessedness of having begotten in us a true hunger and thirst after the bread and water of life, came before me, attended with the conviction, that however strong our desires may be, Divine nourishment must be waited for. It is out of our power to command it.

The Lord knows how long to keep us in this waiting state, and He alone can and will supply it in his time. No imaginary enjoyment, produced by creaturely excitement or activity, is to be compared with the love of God shed abroad in the heart by the Holy Spirit. This dependent state has been the ground on which the true disciple of Christ has stood; and whatever may be our gifts, experience or growth in the Truth, it will always remain to be the ground on which we must stand, to receive ability to worship God in spirit, partake of the supper of the Lord, and rightly to engage in promoting the kingdom of the Redeemer. Under the clothing of true charity, and the desire that we might be brought to a living experience of the substance, I was enabled to invite all to gather to Christ, in his inward appearance in the soul, not depending on any other; for the Lord will not give his glory to another, nor his praise to any graven image.

Also warning against expecting salvation without obeying Him, forsaking their sins, and confessing Him before men.

27th. Calamities of different kinds are assailing men. The Turks and Russians are now at war; and today we hear of a naval engagement in which many war ships were destroyed, and no doubt hundreds of immortal souls launched into an awful eternity. A great fire in New York, this morning, burnt several large ships; one of them said to be the largest merchant vessel in the world, entirely new, and loaded with a valuable cargo. These commotions, and the destruction of property, represent the affairs of the world, as affording little evidence of the stability of property, or the enjoyment which is expected to be derived from it.

1854, First month 8th. The weather cold. Our evening meeting was large, and the silence that spread over us was such as might be felt, giving reason to believe that the good Master was with us. There were, however, fears of a disposition in some, to look for words, instead of gathering to the Master in themselves, and laboring to wait for his arising, to administer to their states. Looking out to others, creates apprehensions that the design of these meetings is not answered; and perhaps some of us in the station of ministers, may be more anxious than is proper, that the people may not be dissatisfied, so as to forsake them.

18th. After sitting in our week-day meeting, until near time to go to the business of the Preparative Meeting, I felt afraid to depart without reviving the circumstance of our Divine Master, the Son of the Highest, washing his disciples' feet, and wiping them with the towel with which He was girded. Herein He set us a striking example of humility. He told them, “You ought also to wash one another's feet;” indicating that we should labor for one another's purification and welfare. It is in this spirit that we shall feel the unity and fellowship of the gospel to extend to one another, as we have been washed ourselves, and are kept clean by the Word which He speaks to us.

22nd. The evening meeting today was smaller than they were at the first, but it was quiet and solid. It felt to me, that Divine mercy and compassion were round about the afflicted seed; and that the Lord would help and deliver these, though the dragon may cast floods out of his mouth, to sweep them, if he could, from the foundation. But the Lord will lift up his Holy Spirit as a standard against him. The meeting closed under a feeling of solemnity.

Second month 3rd. My brother Thomas and myself having undertaken to print a new edition of Piety Promoted, comprising all the volumes up to the year 1828, I have been much engaged for a few days in reading proofs. I have been struck with the great proportion of those faithful men and women,—some of whom attained great experience in the Truth,—who died at a much earlier age than mine. Though I have endeavored to perform what the Lord has called me to do, it seems but little, and my growth small, compared with many of them; but if we have the testimony of Divine acceptance in the end, it will be enough.

An attempt is now making to pass a law in Congress, allowing the Nebraska Territory, which is a larger country than all the Free States together, except California, to be settled by slaveholders with their negroes. It lies north of thirty-six degrees thirty minutes, north latitude, and is part of what was ceded by the French government to the United States, then called Louisiana. At the time Missouri was taken into the Union as a State, there was an agreement entered into between the Northern and Southern members of Congress, that slavery should be forever excluded from all the United States, north of that latitude; which agreement was called the Missouri Compromise, and was acceded to as one of the terms, of admitting slavery to be introduced into the State of Missouri. At the prospect of such a gross violation of the faith of the nation, then solemnly pledged; and the spreading of the horrible system of unconditional bondage over many hundred thousands of square miles of new country, the Committee of the Meeting for Sufferings, appointed to watch the movements of legislative bodies, prepared an essay of a memorial to Congress, remonstrating against the iniquitous measure, and also reviving our testimony against the slavery of the colored people.

At a special meeting held today, the subject was duly considered, and the essay united with; a committee being appointed to present it to the President, and both Houses of Congress, and to have printed a sufficient number to supply every member of both Houses with a copy; also the Governors of the respective States; and for such farther circulation as may be judged needful.

It is mournful to reflect upon the lack of principle manifested my many, who have no scruple against enlarging the area of the abominable crime of slaveholding, if their popularity can be promoted, so as to gain offices in the government, and partake of the public funds, by the aid of the Southern people; whose interest, in this case, they would be thought to serve.

What will become of our country, if we are to be ruled by men, who disregard the principles of justice and truth, and sacrifice the best interests and the rights of the people, to their own aggrandizement. Friends have been industriously engaged in obtaining signatures to another short remonstrance, opposing the violation of the Compromise, and forwarding them to Washington.

5th. We had a large meeting this evening at the Arch Street house. A solemn silence, for nearly one hour, was over the assembly; and feeling my mind moved towards the young people, who had been drawn into covenant with the Lord, I was led to address them in the language of the Psalmist, “The Lord God is a sun and a shield to all them who walk uprightly,” and the declaration to Abraham, “I am your shield, and your exceeding great reward.”

6th. Was held our Quarterly Meeting, which was very large. The testimonies of the Society were advocated, during the time of answering the Queries, and some thought it was a lively and strengthening opportunity. At the close of the meeting, I was informed of the decease of our friend Wm. Forster, of England, in Tennessee, at a house of entertainment, about twelve miles from Knoxville. He had been sick from four to five weeks, and his life terminated on the 27th of last month. The death of such a Friend, so far from his native home, among people not Friends, and where probably many things necessary to make him comfortable, could not be procured; after having been engaged more than fifty years in the service of the cause of religion, has very much affected me. But if we are prepared to be carried by angels, into the realms of ineffable bliss, it matters little what becomes of the tabernacle of clay. Yet such are the tender feelings of near connections and friends, they would desire to have every comfort extended to body and mind in the last conflict, that it would be in their power to bestow; and that the sufferer might be spared the peculiar trial and anxiety, he would be likely to feel under those circumstances, of far separation from his near and dear relations. But the Lord can support, and make up every deficiency. He was buried, we have been informed, in the graveyard at Newberry, belonging to Friends.

9th. The remonstrance of the Meeting for Sufferings, has been presented to both Houses, and published in several newspapers. Some writers express the opinion that the bill will be passed into a law; but the Lord can defeat all their evil designs, if He sees meet.

14th. I went to Quarterly Meeting for business, at Concord, without purse or scrip, expecting to occupy a low seat before the Master. After several others had spoken, I was led to address some, who had departed from the law written in the heart, and yet at times were met with, as in a narrow place, under the convicting power of Truth; by which they were condemned, and brought to see that their ways do not please God, and that they needed a change of their course. These were pleaded with in the love of Christ, to yield to the heavenly vision; or the day may come, when in the prospect of eternity, they would mourn over their misspent time, and their slighted mercies, when it would be too late; and wish they could go back and recall those merciful visitations, for which they then would be willing to part with all they possessed; but it would be out of their power. Now, instead of selling all to purchase the pearl of great price, they were selling their time, the Lord's gifts, and his calls, to purchase the world and the riches and honors of it. The power of the Lord appeared to be present, to heal some, and to gather them, from the improper pursuit of the world, unto himself; and a deep solemnity spread over the meeting, tendering the hearts of not a few. It was the Lord's doings, and I trust that thanksgivings were secretly offered to Him for his mercy and condescending goodness to us, poor unworthy creatures.

When the Queries and Answers respecting pernicious books were read, I felt an intimation to mention the great danger of reading novels, or any work designed to invalidate the christian faith. I had been enabled to hold such works in detestation; but at one time, a package of goods sent to the store, where I was an apprentice, was wrapped in a printed sheet, containing poisonous sentiments, and having read a few lines, Satan beset me many times afterwards, with them, so that I had much difficulty to entirely discard their impression. I mentioned it as a warning to the young men, not to tamper with such books; for they knew not the dangerous consequences that may result from them; advising them to keep to the Holy Scriptures, the writings of Friends, and works conveying useful information.

On the 20th, it commenced snowing, and continued about twenty-four hours, with a strong east wind. So great were the drifts, particularly in some of the east and west streets of our city, that in some business parts of the town, the merchants hired persons to cart the snow to the river. We have not had so great a fall of snow for several years.

Third month 5th. This has been a peaceful day to me. At supper this evening, during the precious silence, I felt my heart clothed with reverence and thankfulness, to our gracious heavenly Benefactor, for his many blessings, temporal and spiritual.

Several of our father's grand-children, and my sister H. Rhoads, sitting around the table, we adverted to the days of our youth, and felt as if we had the near unity and approbation of our dear parents—long since entered the enjoyment of an everlasting, glorious reward.

28th. My wife and I attended the first-day meeting at Springfield, and next day their Monthly Meeting at Middletown. To me it was pleasant to see so many Friends convene to transact the business of the Monthly Meeting. It gave the impression, that there was an honest concern amongst them, to support our religious testimonies; and I felt united to some who offer willingly, and desired they might increase in fervent devotion to the good cause we are called to advocate in the earth. So many have grown cold in their love to the blessed Truth, that a concern was felt that a remnant may be kept, through faith and obedience, who shall act nobly in the Lord's service; and that many more may be drawn to join themselves to Him and to his cause. Thus, from generation to generation, a constant succession of living witnesses to his power, in themselves and in the church, may be raised up, who shall be clothed with a lively zeal for the Lord's honor, and to lift up the banner of Truth and righteousness, in the clearness and authority with which our first Friends displayed it before the people.

Fourth month 15th. Our Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders convened today, and was smaller than I ever witnessed it, since I have been a member; but it was a season of ingathering to the Master, and I hope strengthening to the faith of some. Some considered it one of the most favored opportunities they had experienced for years, resembling seasons of instruction before the troublous times we have, in latter years, endured.

24th. Our Yearly Meeting for business commenced on the 17th, and was smaller than usual on that day, owing to the snow, which had obstructed the roads in some places, so as to detain some Friends from getting into the city; and probably delicate persons may have been discouraged from turning out by the inclement weather.

While reading the Queries and Answers on third-day morning and afternoon, there was shown strong religious interest in the support of our christian testimonies. Several Friends spoke pertinently to various departures from them, manifested by the answers; and a covering of solemnity and religious weight spread over us; in which I believe the value of those distinguishing testimonies was felt by many; and we may hope, through the illuminating power of the Holy Spirit, their excellency may have been felt, in an increased degree, and the true zeal stirred for living up to them more faithfully. The younger part of the meeting had the opportunity of hearing the instructive and persuasive remarks of some of their elder brethren, whose services, no doubt, made deep and salutary impression on their minds.

A few Friends were verbally appointed to draft a minute on the modern expensiveness and show in laying out the dead, burying in grounds not under the care of Friends, and against monuments of wood or stone. In the afternoon, the same Friends were directed to prepare a minute against a hireling or man-made ministry; and admonishing Friends to abstain from going to places where such a ministry is exercised; thus acting contrary to the repeated advice given by the Yearly Meeting.

Throughout the week, the business was conducted with religious weight and much harmony; every one, with little exception, acting with much propriety and decorum, and showing a serious feeling of the importance of holding such a meeting, and that all should conduct themselves as becomes the church of God. The meeting closed on the 21st, in deep and solemn silence; under which, many Friends parted in the tendering conviction, that we had great cause reverently to bow before the Lord, and to return thanks to his great Name, for his mercy and kindness to us poor unworthy creatures, in uniting and solemnizing us together, as we had been.

Fifth month. I thought we had a solid Quarterly Meeting; the extracts brought over it a solemnity that was felt.

20th. I have been several days closely employed at my store, assisting in the business, and also in sending to distant subscribers, copies of Piety Promoted, which my brother Thomas and myself, have recently printed. While engaged in the labor, the reflection that the valuable matter contained in this work, will be thereby placed in the hands of many young people, and through the Divine blessing, may be the means of awakening sons and daughters to the work of their soul's salvation, compensates for all the trouble, and raises the hope, it may be instrumental in drawing them to the love of the Truth; that by it they may be prepared for service in the church of Christ. The hope of being made use of by the Lord, in turning many to righteousness, sweetens the labor, and gives the feeling of not living merely for pecuniary gain, but at the same time, contributing to the spread of the Redeemer's kingdom.

25th. I attended the Arch Street Monthly Meeting, which was very small, especially on the women's side, the weather being wet. In the first sitting, my mind was drawn into sympathy with some, who feel discouraged, by the many evils which stand in the way of maintaining the cause of Truth, and are ready to conclude, at times, they would lay us waste. They were referred to our individual experience of the absence of the Beloved of souls, and to his return, as we keep inward in faith and patience; by which we are confirmed in his faithfulness to us. We may then safely hope and trust that He will continue to visit us as a people, and to raise up standard and testimony bearers; and that the principles of the gospel given us to support, will not be permitted to fall to the ground. I believed there were those living, who would see the day, though I was neither prophet nor prophet's son, when gifts will be given, to be occupied in the church; by which the Lord's name will be glorified amongst us. Those members who trample on our testimonies, and despise those who keep to them, will find it a heavy burden, when laid on a death bed, to have turned any aside from the faithful acknowledgment of them.

28th. First-day morning, we had a large meeting at our house in Orange Street. The language of the apostle, “It is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief,” had been on my mind from the early part of the meeting. The impression continuing, I ventured to hold forth the preciousness of this doctrine, when brought home with living faith, to a soul borne down with the weight of sin and transgression. Such should remember, that a mere belief of these truths, as recorded in the New Testament, would avail nothing, unless they were brought to realize them in themselves, by receiving Christ into their hearts. It was testified, before He came in the prepared body, “You shall call his name Jesus, for He shall save his people from their sins.” If He is received in the heart, He will pull down the kingdom of Satan, bind him and cast him out, spoil all his goods, and make the heart a fit temple for Himself, by his Holy Spirit, to dwell in. He will not dwell in a defiled heart, though He causes his light to shine there at times, to show man his lost condition; but this is not by way of union with him or taking up his habitation there; that is experienced only as man is changed, and becomes a partaker of the Divine nature. The doctrine of christian perfection, or freedom from sin, was also held forth. It was a good meeting, and I hope tended to the strength of the right-minded, and to the awakening of some.

Sixth month 4th. Feeling my mind very unexpectedly turned to the North Meeting, I went there this morning. The company was large, especially on the women's side. I was favored to keep inward in a waiting state, when the very important testimony to spiritual worship was brought before me; also the great loss which is sustained by living to the world. None can grow in the Truth, without experiencing the worship of God, which is in spirit and in truth. It is the christian's life, wherein he keeps the watch, maintains the warfare, and receives ability to pray for daily food, and for preservation, and to return thanks and adoration before the Father of mercies for all his numerous benefits. The indispensable necessity of experiencing it, and of attending our religious meetings, when health permits, was impressed, and the young men were invited to faithfulness in this respect.

27th. Having for some time felt a draft of affection towards the little company composing Galloway Meeting, at Leeds' Point, in New Jersey, my wife and myself met our friends S. and B. N., at Haddonfield, on seventh-day morning, the 24th, and proceeded in the cars about half the distance, when we took a stage, and reached J. L.'s before dusk. He and his kind wife gave us a pleasant reception. On first-day morning the weather was fine, which made walking to the meeting-house easy. We understood the company was larger than usual, and appeared to be a sober people; many were watermen, who trade from that neighborhood. They maintained stillness during the silence of the meeting. We were both engaged in the ministry, setting forth the work of sanctification in the heart, and encouraging the sincere christian, to hold on his way, in following his Lord and Master. My wife closed with solemn supplication for those who had wandered from the flock, into the wilderness, and for the afflicted and depressed travelers, who are longing for their own, and the salvation of others.

Next morning, we rode to Absecom, about six miles, to take the cars, and reached our own homes before nine o'clock. Many calculations of profit are made by the projectors of this railroad, running across New Jersey. The enterprise of men furnishes many accommodations and facilities, to promote the purposes of all classes; which are highly useful to the great human family. But it is to be lamented that, in the midst of much usefulness to others, in a temporal point of view, so many appear to neglect the “one thing needful,” a daily preparation of the soul for a blissful eternity, through waiting upon and serving God according to his blessed and holy will, revealed in the heart. This dedication to Him, would not interfere with right things, in the way of our lawful vocations, but it would enable men, under the power of the Holy Spirit, to keep the world under foot; holding everything pertaining to it, in a secondary place; and above all, laboring to exalt the name of our God, and the kingdom of his dear Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. In this state, there would be a harmonious walking with Him, and the true welfare of each other would be sought and promoted.

Chapter XXX

1854—1855

Religious Visit to the Yearly Meeting of Ohio, and some Meetings belonging to it—Resumption of Labors at Home.

1854, Seventh month 26th. Having had a prospect of visiting some meetings in Ohio, and attending the Yearly Meeting, if the way should open for it, I mentioned the concern to the Monthly Meeting, which made a minute of its unity, setting me at liberty to attend to the prospect, as Truth should direct.

Eighth month 6th. First-day morning. I was strengthened to lay before the young people the blessedness of an early surrender to the visitations of the Shepherd and Bishop of souls. He has gracious designs concerning all of us, and if submitted to, will prepare for a place in his church. Samuel was called in childhood, and shown the degeneracy of the house of Eli, and was finally made a prophet, and he judged Israel many years. Christ compared the kingdom of heaven to a householder, who went out early in the morning to hire laborers to work in his vineyard. Young people who are devoted to the Truth, have their trials, but He who began the work of their regeneration, will carry it on, sustain and defend them, and when He sees proper, cheer them with glimpses of the beauty of the bride, the Lamb's wife, the redeemed and sanctified church, and raise fervent desires to be purified, and made members of it.

7th. My beloved brother Charles came down this morning, and offered to accompany me through the visit to Ohio, which was truly acceptable and encouraging.

12th. This morning, on going to my store, I found a letter from my beloved and honorable friend Hannah Gibbons. I thought it remarkable that she should feel so much for me, without knowing the exercise I was passing through. It was reviving and tendering to my spirit, and I still hoped the Lord would cast up a safe path for me to walk in. It is as follows: West Chester, Eighth month 11th, 1854.

My Dear Friend and Brother in the Truth, William Evans:

My mind has been so much in sympathy with you, since hearing of your present prospect of religious service, that, though feeble in body, I do not feel quite satisfied without telling you of it; with desires for your encouragement in the line of religious duty; well knowing that it is not the path we would choose for ourselves, but that which leads to peace, far surpassing all mundane enjoyments. There is an oppressed seed within the compass of Ohio Yearly Meeting; who, I have no doubt, often go mourning on their way, when the secret language of their hearts may be, “Spare your people, O Lord, and give not your heritage to reproach.” These, I believe, will be glad of your company, the aid of your spirit, and, I trust, gospel labors.

The silent query has more than once arisen in my mind, of latter time, “Will not William Evans feel drawn to attend the approaching Yearly Meeting of Ohio?” And when I heard you felt an engagement that way, I may say a feeble tribute of thanksgiving arose, in believing that the Lord of the harvest is still mindful of his children; those who are desirous of serving; Him in sincerity and faith; and is furnishing fellow-helpers, in the arduous field of labor. Truly there is strength in unity; and where there is a lack of it, how does weakness prevail! Yet I do believe the great I Am will be with those whom He has anointed and sent forth, strengthening them for his work, and feeding them with food convenient for them. And though you may meet with opposing spirits, dear friend, yet as the clothing of your mind continues to be that of humility, I trust you will be enabled, from time to time, to put the armies of the aliens to flight; and the language of your heart, at seasons, will be, “Thanks be to God who gives us the victory, through our Lord Jesus Christ.” The encouraging language, recorded in Holy Writ, now arises, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.”

My dear friend, your precious wife has a full share of my sympathy; not doubting that she will be supported during your absence, by Him whom she desires above every other desire to serve; and I believe has cause to say, “Hitherto the Lord has helped me.” The foregoing may serve to let you know that you have the sympathy and unity of a feeble, almost worn-out sister; and in feelings of tenderness and affection, I remain your friend,

Hannah Gibbons

21st. Second-day morning. My brother Charles, who had kindly offered to be my companion through Ohio, met me at the depot, and we left for Pittsburg. The road through Pennsylvania, along the Susquehanna and Juniata Rivers, is exceedingly picturesque and interesting; running through a mountainous country, and many towns and villages, some of them nourishing and fast increasing. Passing up the railroad, over the Alleghanies, by steam-power, is a new feature in traveling; and when near the edge of vast precipices, the idea of the connecting links of the cars breaking, or other causes, overturning us into the deep ravines, creates a sensation of fear and shrinking from the terrible consequences that would follow; but this is an interesting and expeditious mode of traveling, as well as comfortable, when preserved to get safely to the end of the journey. We reached Pittsburg, between twelve and one o'clock, p.m. After breakfast, the next morning, we went over to Alleghany City, and took the Cleveland cars for Salem. We reached the station house there, about eleven o'clock; where we found our kind friend Jehu Fawcett, waiting to accompany us to his house. The hearty manner in which he met us, was cheering. Sitting in his house, I felt peaceful.

23rd. Salem Monthly Meeting was held here, which we attended; the company was quite large. After some time of enduring poverty and emptiness, I was led to hold up the importance of keeping with the seed under suffering, that we may fill up our measure of it; and in the humbling, stripping dispensations we have to pass through, we may experience a growth in the blessed Truth. After relieving my mind of the subjects that were brought before me, I felt the spirit of supplication, on behalf of those who were bearing heavy burdens, and was constrained to bow the knee, and implore the merciful and tender regard of the Lord, our Holy Helper, on their behalf. We went out about a mile to our beloved friend David Fawcett's; dined with him and his children, and had a little opportunity with them; in which the tendering power of the Holy Spirit was felt.

24th. Fifth-day. Our friend David Fawcett, inclining to accompany us to the remaining meetings in this neighborhood, called upon us this morning, and took us over to New Garden. It was a pretty large collection; among whom I had some service; and after the Monthly Meeting, we went to a Friend's and dined. A number of Friends came in, to whom I felt drawn to speak on the importance of bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; restraining them from evil company and practices. Were they rightly concerned to fulfill their duties to their beloved offspring, they and the dear children would reap the benefit of it. As they come under the yoke of Christ, they would be united together in the fellowship of the gospel, and be as marrow to the bones of their religiously exercised parents. Took an affectionate leave of these dear Friends, and rode about seven miles to E. M.'s, near Hanoverton.

25th. Attended Sandy Spring Monthly Meeting; in which the work among them was laborious, but I endeavored to do what the Master required.

26th. We went to Springfield Monthly Meeting, at Damascoville. Here I was opened on the declaration of our Savior, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,” and on the importance of knowing the love of God shed abroad in our hearts. The nearer we approach a better world, the more earnest we ought to feel, to be imbued therewith; that we may be prepared for the society of saints and angels, and the spirits of just men made perfect. In this world, this Divine clothing would put an end to all animosities, wars and fightings, and whether present or absent, we should be as epistles written in one another's hearts; not with ink and pen, but by the Spirit of the living God. It would draw the children to the parents, and the parents to the children, and they would unite in going up to the mountain of the Lord, the house of the God of Jacob, who would teach them his ways, and strengthen them to walk in his paths.

27th. First-day morning. Our kind friend Jehu Fawcett, took us to Middletown, about twelve miles; where we attended the meeting, and had to feel with some who seemed to have greatly let fall the daily religious exercise, which every living member ought to experience. Some things were set closely home, in that love and concern which seeks the everlasting welfare of every class; which I believe had something of an arousing effect. We believed there were honest-hearted ones preserved amongst them, who are sincerely concerned for the right support of the cause and testimonies of Christ, and feel for the low estate of others, and on account of their unfaithfulness. I had some service there to my own satisfaction and peace. We dined with our ancient friend William Heald, and the widow of his son Abner Heald, who was a minister. The old Friend, between eighty and ninety, has the use of his faculties, and appears to be desirous of the welfare of the Society, and the maintenance of its doctrines and testimonies.

28th. Jehu Fawcett having made provision for taking my brother and myself with him and his wife, to Mount Pleasant, in the afternoon, we left his agreeable residence, and rode to our friend E. M.'s, near Hanoverton, about twelve miles from Salem.

29th. We took an early start, having a long day's drive before us; over a hilly country, the weather warm and very dry, and the roads dusty. At the tavern where we dined, water was scarce. Towards evening, we got to a Friend's house, not far from Smithfield, and were kindly received. Here the drought was so great, that there was nothing left in the fields that the cattle could subsist on; and they told us they had been obliged to give them hay, etc, for about three weeks. Water was also so scarce, that they had to drive their herds and flocks some miles to get sufficient for them. The appearance of the country was desolate and mournful; and I thought should induce a humble consideration of our dependence on Divine Providence for the means to sustain life; and also self-examination of our actions, in the light of the Lord, that we may profit by the dispensations of his chastising hand; and experience greater redemption from the love of the world, and devote our time and our talents more constantly to the work which He would appoint for us to do.

30th. We attended Smithfield Meeting, which was larger than usual, a marriage being accomplished, which drew some to it. Feeling a concern gathering over my mind, for some who had known better days, and on account of the great change that had taken place in the members, in part produced by the death of some substantial ministers, I was led to advert to it, and mentioned the language of Scripture, “Your fathers, where are they; and the prophets, do they live forever?” Those were removed to their everlasting reward; and there was but one way by which any could be prepared to succeed them, in these stations in the church, and that was by submitting to the humbling, regenerating power of the grace of God. Some were called upon to recur to the kindness of their youth, the love of their espousals, how they followed the Lord in his leadings into the wilderness; and to examine whether the same love and devotedness to Him was now felt, which they then experienced. If not, there was nothing in the world that could make up for their loss; and if in his continued mercy, they were favored with renewed visitations of his love, and the calls of his Holy Spirit, it would be their highest interest to yield to them, that they might be favored with the enjoyment of the true peace and heavenly love they had once known.

31st. Attended the meeting at Harrisville, and returned to N. H.'s, where we stayed that night; and next morning were taken by him to Flushing, where we had an appointed meeting, which was a favored time in testimony and supplication.

Ninth month 2nd. Seventh-day. Rode to Mount Pleasant, and put up at the school-house, and I attended the Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders.

First-day. Two large meetings for worship were held.

9th. The Yearly Meeting was held this week; but little business being transacted on second and third-days. Forty-two representatives met; and twelve of them, contrary to the expressed opinions of the others, determined to take forward the names of two men, for clerk and assistant, which the others protested against; and twenty-eight desired a Friend to report that the representatives were not able to agree; which was done. The existing clerk informed the meeting, that according to the practice of that Yearly Meeting, he should make a minute continuing and appointing the present clerks, B. Hoyle and William S. Bates, as clerk and assistant; with which many Friends expressed their unity. The two members, nominated by the twelve representatives, being urged by their party, to take their seats at the table, went up and sat alongside of B. H.; when he informed them that their attempt was an act of separation. Their proceeding was spoken against; but being repeatedly called upon to make a minute, one of them made an entry of their being reported by a part of the representatives for clerks, and that they were appointed; Friends, in the meantime, objecting to it. After sitting between three and four hours, the meeting adjourned, B. Hoyle making the minute.

Previously two women Friends inquired the hour to which men Friends would adjourn, but the meeting not having decided, they were requested to adjourn to the same hour at which the men's meeting should decide to convene. When Friends left the house, the separatists kept their seats, and adjourned to eight o'clock; two hours earlier than Friends had agreed to meet. The separatists met accordingly, and broke up their meeting, just as we were collecting, which was considerate on their part.

My feelings were mournful at witnessing another separation in that house, after a lapse of twenty-six years; yet I could not see that Friends could have acted in any other way, consistently with order, and the practice of their own Yearly Meeting. The meeting read the epistles addressed to it; read the Queries and Answers thereto; decided to establish a new Quarterly Meeting, to be composed of that part of Stillwater Quarterly Meeting, which lies on the west side of the Muskingum River; appointed a committee to visit and aid the subordinate meetings, in this season of severe trial; with several other subjects, including epistles to the other Yearly Meetings, and concluded under a solemn quiet.

Our friend H. L., residing near Mount Pleasant, having offered to take us in his carriage to the meetings in Stillwater Quarterly Meeting, we rode out in the afternoon to a Friend's, at Plainfield. The next morning, before leaving this family, I had an opportunity with them, encouraging the young Friends to greater dedication, and a deeper indwelling with the Spirit of Christ, that they may be prepared thereby, to discharge their duties in the church, and to their children.

10th. We reached B. H.'s about ten o'clock, and went to their meeting at Stillwater; which was a pretty large company. It was a laborious time to me, yet attended, I hope, with encouragement to the burden-bearers, and the sincere-hearted among them. In the afternoon, we visited Wm. Green, and his wife and family, who are rightly concerned and interesting Friends; the visit was to my satisfaction, a number of young persons coming in.

11th. We set out pretty early this morning, for the Muskingum settlements, having the company of several Friends returning to their homes beyond that river, and rode about forty miles, dining at a tavern, and lodged at a house of private entertainment. The landlord was a Methodist, and an intelligent man; with whom I had some conversation on the doctrine of christian perfection, and being made free from sin in this life. He thought there was danger of a man thinking himself free from sin, and trusting to his own righteousness. I told him the more we were brought to experience the sanctifying power of Divine Grace, the more humble would be our opinion of ourselves; and the more we should depend upon the Lord Jesus to make, and to keep us so. Christ said to the people, “Be perfect, even as your Father, which is in heaven, is perfect.” He loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Also, that He might purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. He did not deny this, yet did not seem quite ready to receive the doctrine.

Next morning we had further conversation on another point, in which he was at difficulty, and said he thought the passage I quoted, respecting being perfect, was designed for the apostles. I reminded him that it was contained in the Sermon on the Mount, which was addressed to all his disciples, and was applicable to the multitude, as well as to us, also, in this day. We heard afterwards that he expressed much satisfaction with our visit, to some Friends who called and took breakfast with them after we had gone. It is always cheering to meet with sincere, religious people, let their christian profession be as it may, and to find they have some experience of the work in themselves.

12th. We rode to McConnellsville, crossed the Muskingum, and put up at our friend John Patton's, who belongs to Hopewell Meeting.

13th. Had an appointed meeting here, in which I felt depressed, also not well in health. But I was raised up to declare the way of salvation, to the disobedient, and the awful consequences of out-sinning the day of their visitation. The honest-hearted, and the poor of the flock, were exhorted to hold fast the grain of true faith, in their lowest seasons; and the Lord would assuredly come again to them; the meal in the barrel should not waste, nor the cruse of oil fail, until He sent forth fresh supplies of temporal and spiritual food. Some saluted us with much affection, and their countenances showed they had felt the tendering power of Truth, to contrite their spirits. J. P. and his wife, met us here, and took us to their house at Pennsville, where we were kindly and agreeably entertained.

14th. Attended Pennsville Monthly Meeting. In the first meeting, I could come at nothing like authority for the work of the ministry, and at a suitable time, Friends proceeded in transacting the business. Near the close, I was impressed with a concern to call Friends to a closer attention to their religious duties; that they might show forth the excellent fruits of the Spirit, by setting the candle on the candlestick, that all might see the light; not putting it under a bed of ease, or under a bushel, in the multitude of worldly pursuits. Christ told his disciples, they were the light of the world, and that they were to let their light shine, that others, seeing their good works, may glorify our Father, which is in heaven. I was also concerned to remind parents of the responsibility of their station, as shepherds and shepherdesses over the lambs committed to their trust; of the necessity of setting them a proper example, of restraining them from evil, and to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

16th. We attended Chesterfield Monthly Meeting; in the first sitting, I was renewedly helped to preach the gospel of life and salvation, to comfort the mourners in Zion, and to stir up the young and the middle-aged to greater faithfulness. If any good is done, it is from the Lord. We are unprofitable servants; He can work with or without us. In the afternoon, T. P. went with us to Plymouth.

17th. Rode down to a meeting called Southland, being first-day. This was a laborious time to me; it seemed hard to find the stepping stones.

18th. Attended Plymouth Monthly Meeting which was quite large, many goodly looking young men belonging to it. I had service among them relating to the occupancy of gifts in the church, bestowed by our adorable Head, and Minister of the sanctuary, upon those whom He has prepared, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Spirit, to receive them. I believe there were those in that meeting whom, if they continue faithful, He would make judges and counsellors, as they steadfastly followed his Divine leadings. The business was transacted with religious weight, and sweetness of spirit and manner towards one another. Several Friends from other meetings were there. The Friends with whom we took dinner, were truly kind, in accommodating us with an early start after the meeting, to enable us to get on that afternoon, so as to reach Somerset by the next evening. We got a list of the towns to enquire for on our way, and by industrious traveling, reached a house of private entertainment, about dusk, having crossed the Muskingum, and ridden about seventeen or eighteen miles.

19th. Rose early, but the tediousness of those who prepared breakfast, detained us unnecessarily. We rode about twenty-five miles before we could obtain food for ourselves and horses, without stopping too early in the day. The road over which we travelled, was in bad condition, in some places, and very hilly; there being no place in this half-day's drive, in which there was half a mile of level, plain road continuous. We set out again, and when we drew near to Somerset, the road improved, though still crossing a continuation of high hills. It became so dark that my brother was obliged, in the last three-quarters of a mile, to walk in the middle of the road, before the horses, to enable the Friend to decide where to drive; but we got to T. P.'s safely, and felt grateful at again reaching the pleasant habitation of our friends, where we were kindly received and comfortably accommodated.

20th. We had five miles to ride to the place where their Preparative Meeting was held today. The company was small, and according to my feelings, the stream of Divine life was low. I was reminded of the low state of the springs and streams through the country where we had travelled and referred some of them to the consideration whether their condition, in a spiritual sense, might not bear some resemblance to it. I hope some were aroused to look more seriously into their own condition, and seek more ardently for the streams of that river which makes glad the city of God; like David, who said; “As the deer pants after the water brooks, so pants my soul after you, O God; my soul thirsts for the living God.”

We dined in company with a number of Friends, at the house of a widow woman, and I had conversation with them on the importance of Friends endeavoring to keep together in near unity with one another. I advised them, in performing their duties when visiting their divided meetings, in order to keep Friends from being scattered, to be swift to hear, and slow to speak; for solidity and inwardness of spirit, would have more effect to convince gainsayers, than many words.

21st. Went to the Ridge Meeting; and was there introduced into much sympathy with the burden-bearers; to whom the language of encouragement flowed freely, under the humbling power of Divine love, and in the fellowship of suffering; I hope to the refreshment and strengthening of some, though I was left under feelings of weakness and poverty.

Towards evening, we took leave of these Friends, rode to B. H.'s, at Stillwater, and were cheered in getting under his roof. Our friend A. G., having agreed to take us, in his carriage, to Brownsville, had returned home to prepare, and before bed-time met us here; a further proof of the disinterested kindness of Friends towards dependent travelers, in carrying us from place to place; our friend H. L., being obliged, after leaving us at St. Clairsville, to return to his home. We rose pretty early next morning, and proceeded to that place, where having dined and fed our horses, we parted with our much esteemed friend H. L., of whose kind attentions and assistance, we had so freely partaken, and for which we expressed our grateful acknowledgments. We had a pleasant ride of about twenty-six miles, to a little village called Alexandria, and put up at an inn of tolerable comfort.

23rd. Got away from this place early after breakfast, passed through a town called Washington, and about four miles beyond, got a humble dinner at an old worn out inn, and then winded our way over hill and dale, to the Monongahela River, and crossing it on a fine bridge; opposite to Brownsville, we reached the residence of our friends W. D. and wife, who received us with much cordiality. I had never before been at their house, but found it a pleasant home for christian travelers on religious errands. W. agreed to release A. G., and take us in his carriage to the two meetings we proposed being at before the finishing of this journey.

24th. Before leaving, on the following morning, we went into the residence of Wm.'s aged father; where I was led to hold up the importance of waiting upon the Lord, that the work of preparation for a better world, may be perfected, and Divine refreshment partaken of daily from his hand. On our return, we dropped into silence, and a word of counsel and encouragement arose in my heart for those dear Friends, under their tried situation; brought about by the late separation; there being but themselves and one other family, likely to remain with Friends belonging to Ohio Yearly Meeting, in this particular meeting; as we were informed.

The road to Providence meeting-house is very hilly, and the distance seven or eight miles, so that we did not get there until the Friends were nearly all convened. On sitting with them, I felt for the little remnant who love the Truth and seek its prosperity, and now have new difficulties to encounter, in the prospect of another division of their reduced Quarterly Meeting. I was led to encourage this class, to labor to draw near to their Lord and Master; looking to Him for guidance in their religious duties, and for the renewal of their faith and strength to do his will. He joined Himself to the two disciples, as they walked from Jerusalem to Emmaus and were sad, under the loss of their Master, as they supposed; and He opened to them the Scriptures, in the prophets and the Psalms, concerning Himself; so that when He disappeared, after blessing and breaking the bread at the table, they knew it was He, and said, “Did not our hearts burn within us, while He talked with us by the way, and while He opened to us the Scriptures?” He is as near to his children, watching over them, at this day as ever; and He will keep and console them, as they hold fast their love and allegiance to Him. Some states of a different character were also spoken to.

We had rather a tedious ride to Sewickly; the hills rising from the different streams being long and high; yet with diligence we arrived at G. G.'s, about dusk; and were glad to find ourselves at the door of kind and hospitable Friends, willing to take us in, and make us comfortable and welcome. Enquiry was made if we could get a meeting there next day, at the usual hour, and being assented to, they sent out word that evening, to spread notice of it early next morning.

25th. We went to the meeting-house, and found a pretty large company for that place; with whom we sat in silence for a considerable time, in a low place; the quickening power of Christ seeming to be much out of sight and feeling. At length I was enabled to labor among them, to show the spirit and element in which a true christian lives; wherein he is enabled to worship God in spirit and in truth, out of meeting as well as in meeting, to the refreshment and strength of his own soul, and also for the help of others. A warning was also held up against the inordinate pursuit and love of lawful things; by which, even those who have known and loved the Truth, may lose ground, and become captivated with worldly pursuits. I felt drawn, though in weakness, to bend the knee, and to pray for those on whom the support of the ark of the testimonies chiefly rested, in that place; that their faith and devotion to the cause of Christ might be increased; and for those who are afar off, wasting their substance; that they might arise and come to the Father, and acknowledge they were unworthy to be called his sons, and ask that He would make them his hired servants; also for all now before the Lord; that He would keep us through the remaining tribulations of this life, and prepare us to mingle with the just of all generations, in praising and glorifying his great Name, with the Lamb, world without end; Amen. I came away peaceful, though poor and empty; which is a safe state, and I believe is often dispensed by Him who knows what is in man, and what is best for our humiliation before Him; that self may be kept in abasement; and we be sensible that we are unprofitable servants, that all good comes from Him, and all praise and glory is due to Him alone. We dined with B. G. and family, where several Friends came.

Just as we were about to come away, I felt constrained to address the parents and children; to encourage the former to watch over and restrain the latter from wrong things, and to live under a proper concern to draw them to Christ, that He might lay his Divine hand upon them, and bless them. It had a tendering effect upon the mother and some of the daughters, for which I was glad, and confirmed that I was in my right place.

26th. A station on the Pennsylvania Railroad, being about seven miles distant from G. G.'s, some of the family rose early, to give us breakfast; and our kind friend took us there in his carriage, in time to meet the train for Philadelphia. After taking leave, we started a little after eight o'clock, and got to our beloved homes, between one and two o'clock, next morning. I found my dear wife and children in usual good health, and felt thankful in being restored to them in safety, and in the peacefulness and true comfort, which the Lord bestows for the performance of his requirings.

Eleventh month 6th. The Quarterly Meeting was held this morning. There was not much business to occupy the last sitting; and after it was gone through, I returned the minute furnished me to make the visit in Ohio; informing that it had been accomplished to my own peace and satisfaction.

14th. My wife and myself went to Salem, to visit our beloved friend Martha Wistar, and also some of our friends and connections at Greenwich. In seasons of great discouragement, it is strengthening to them that fear the Lord, and think upon his name, to speak to one another of those things that lie nearest to their hearts; not only because it is declared that a book of remembrance is written before Him, who hearkens and hears; but also because in their different conditions they minister support to the oppressed spirits, and cheer them at times on their way.

15th. We attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, at Salem, in which we were silent.

16th. Was held the Quarterly Meeting for discipline. In the first meeting, I was engaged to revive the exhortation of the apostle, “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit;” and to enforce the importance of showing by our conduct and conversation, and the weightiness of our spirits, that we have been with the Lord, and that He is with us. It is the lack of bringing forth the fruits of the Holy Spirit, that keeps the Society in weakness, and impairs its usefulness in the world, and greatly disables the members from aiding each other towards a growth in the Truth.

At the house of our cousin George Bacon, at Greenwich, the old-fashioned, sincere hospitality is found; he and his wife being honestly concerned, and cordial in receiving their friends. We attended their meeting on first-day; in which we had some service; the company assembled being larger than usual. I was led to advert to the negligence of many in making a proper use of the outward means dispensed by the Head of the church for our benefit, especially the frequent reading of the Holy Scriptures; the fear attending me, that very many seldom look into their bibles; although the Holy Scriptures were given by Divine inspiration, and are profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto every good work.

Twelfth month 10th. At our first-day meeting, this morning, after long waiting, in which many things passed before me, and the feeling of a disposition to put by the opening, I was constrained to rise with the expressions used by one of our ancient Friends, “There is a faith that overcomes the world, and there is a faith that is overcome by the world.” It is a great favor to be possessed of the knowledge of the doctrines of the everlasting gospel, as recorded in the Holy Scriptures, and for which we are bound to be thankful; but the faith which gives us the victory over the world, the flesh and the devil, is produced by the operation of the Spirit of Christ in the heart. This Spirit reveals those things which it requires us to forsake, and gives us, at the same time, if we receive it, faith to believe that what is required is the Divine will; and as we are obedient, brings us out of our fallen condition, and gradually opens to us the Scriptures according to the Lord's will, and enables us availingly to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the authority of the Holy Scriptures, and to profit by them. By the obedience of faith, we experience a growth in grace, and are made victorious over Satan and all his temptations; and participate in the promise of the Son of God, “To him that overcomes, will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.”

The divinity, atonement, intercession and advocacy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was crucified without the gates of Jerusalem, a propitiatory offering for the sin of the world, and is now glorified at the right hand of the Father, was also plainly testified to and held forth according to the Scriptures. These things were delivered in humility, as they were brought before me, I trust, by the good Remembrancer, and reached the hearts of some present, to their comfort and satisfaction. It is good to be faithful to the pointings of the Divine finger, in childlike simplicity, not knowing what is the Lord's design, and the consequences that may grow out of it.

21st. We have had some very cold weather, and so many people being out of employment, there is reason to apprehend there will be great suffering; but I hope those who have the means to spare, will be alive to their needs, and strive to provide for them. Owing in part to the wars in Europe, the price of provisions is much above the usual standard; which increases the difficulties of the poor, and the laboring man, and lessens the ability of others to aid them. But if there is a heart to give, in those of moderate means, they will economize, and find portions to bestow on the poor.

This day, I attended the Arch Street Meeting, in much destitution, and was furnished, I thought, with strength and authority to encourage others to endure temptation, and to strive to keep the faith. The dear children were also invited to yield to their Savior's requirings, that they may be prepared, in his time, to be made instrumental in turning many to righteousness. They who do so, shall shine as the brightness of the firmament, and as the stars for ever and ever.

31st. The last day of the year, and the weather now remarkably fine. Our meeting this morning, at Orange Street, was pretty large for us; and a time of favor and gracious condescension to our low estate, it proved to be. The breathing of my spirit was, that the Lord would visit our Society, and pour out afresh of his Spirit upon sons and daughters, and prepare many to sound his praise, and to tell to others his wondrous works in their souls.

1855, Second month 8th. The weather has been extremely cold for several days, the mercury in some parts of the city, being below zero; and notwithstanding the severe cold, snow and hail have fallen. The sufferings of the poor are great, and much money has been raised and applied for their relief. I have not heard of any being frozen to death; but some are reported to have suffered starvation, being unwilling to let their condition be known.

Went to Abington Quarterly Meeting. I was enabled to open the great importance of partaking of the Divine life, which Christ declared He came that his sheep might have, and more abundantly than under the preceding dispensation. Those who are united to Him as members of his body, are kept alive unto God by the life of Christ, that flows from Him into them; and as they submit to his humbling dispensations and baptisms, they are prepared to hear his voice, and to distinguish it from all other voices.

In the second meeting, the beauty and excellency of our discipline and order, were upheld; conforming as they do, to the doctrines of Christ and his apostles; and which all among us, who are alive in the Truth, will feel bound to support, as a trust and duty given to us, which is sacred.

26th. Rode out to Springfield, and attended their Monthly Meeting. I was drawn forth in sympathy with those who love the Lord Jesus Christ, but are in danger of turning aside, from the discouragements of the day; as though their forefathers had not drunk as bitter cups, and it was easier then than now to do the Divine will. But I was led to declare, that He who called to any duty, was as compassionate and tender to his children as ever; and would always make way for them, and give strength to perform it, as a single eye was kept directed unto Him.

Third month 12th. This day being Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, I rose early, crossed the Delaware, and by the cars, reached the village about eight o'clock. We had a good meeting; in which the call to greater dedication was extended, and prayer offered for the young people, and the discouraged burden-bearers, whose hands were ready to hang down.

20th. Went to the Northern District Meeting; where the necessity of the inward work of religion was opened; in which the axe is laid to the root of the trees, and every tree that brings not forth good fruit is to be hewn down and cast into the fire. Sound doctrine, held in the head, and on the tongue, will avail but little. We must submit to Him who baptizes with the Holy Ghost and fire; who gathers the wheat into the garner and burns up the chaff with unquenchable fire. In this way only, shall we know the possibility of being made free from sin in this life, and true witnesses of the Lord's saving power, and of the truth of the doctrines of the everlasting gospel. I expressed the belief, that our religious Society would not be permitted to be laid waste; but from among the pots, and as from the stones of the streets, the Lord would continue to raise up those whom He would make living ministers, and discerning elders in the church.

Fifth month 12th. Went out to Springfield, and spent a short time very cheeringly with our beloved brother and sister, Joseph and Grace Evans. We find a little interaction between town and country relations, revives and animates each other to hold on in the good pathway, and imparts comfort and strength, in the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

14th. Went with them to the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, at Concord. We sat a long time in silence; and after the Queries were read and answered, and the business got through, I ventured to speak on the responsibility of the stations of ministers and elders. If I know anything of the nature of gospel ministry, it is that only which is opened in the soul by the great Minister of the sanctuary, and which He authorizes to be given to the people, as it is given to us; and the design of it is to gather souls to Christ. Elders are to receive the gift of spiritual discernment, and to aid and counsel ministers, under the Lord's direction.

15th. Was held the meeting for business; in which I was engaged to address the younger members. I felt remarkably peaceful, in having labored for the encouragement of the young people who love their Lord, and to awaken the rebellious to their true conditions.

Seventh month 4th. This afternoon, I went to attend, from his late dwelling, at Westfield, the burial of our friend Samuel Leeds, a minister; who was taken sick before our Yearly Meeting. He is reported to have said little throughout his sickness, appearing to be abstracted from worldly things, and very much kept in a quiet frame of mind. The removal of the servants of Christ from among us, one after another, was very affecting to me, as I stood by the grave, and saw his remains lowered into the earth. The spirit that often had been baptized for the dead, and for the living, tribulated seed, was now gathered unto God, and to his Christ, among the blessed of all generations. Will not the Lord have compassion upon his church and people, and give evidence that He has not forgotten their desolate condition, by pouring out of his Spirit on sons and daughters, and giving gifts for the work of the ministry, and the edification of the body of Christ. Even so, O Lord! Amen.

20th. For many days, little pleasant bread has been partaken of. Our religious meetings, now much reduced by many members having removed into the country, or traveling for pleasure and health, have often to me felt destitute of the sensible evidence of the Divine presence; so that fears have prevailed, of being deserted by the everlasting Shepherd. Then again, I have been afraid to abandon the watch and the struggle, lest indifference and the total loss of spiritual life may ensue. Of late, in the midst of many fears, I have thought the Lord's mercy and watchful care were not withdrawn, by feeling a little ability to look to Him, and to put up secret prayer, accompanied with contrition of spirit, that He would continue to regard an unworthy creature, and defend and keep from falling, one whom Satan seems constantly striving to cast down and destroy.

The trials of this day are hard to bear, but if they drive us more and more to the Master, and keep out a light spirit, and deepen us in the blessed Truth, so that our example will be effectual to draw others to the love of it, they will be great blessings to us, and fit us for greater service in the Lord's church and vineyard. We have depended much on one another, instead of relying upon the Lord alone for guidance, wisdom and strength; and He has been taking from us fathers and mothers, and permitting the spirit of separation to get in, by which many Friends have been alienated from each other. The unity of the Spirit being greatly lost, the strength which it gives is much withdrawn. There is no way by which the strength of the church can be restored, but by the members coming back to the first principle, of individually waiting upon the Lord, and seeking to receive from Him the spirit of prayer, that He would return to us, and show us our real condition; what He would have us to come out of, and the high and holy way He would have us to walk in. His mercies are the same from generation to generation; and when we are rightly humbled and brought back, He will condescend again to our low estate, and lift us up, and put songs of praise into our mouths; and the children will be enabled to join in thanksgiving and praise to his great and ever-adorable Name.

Eighth month 4th. Our Select Quarterly Meeting was held in silence, and felt to me to be a low time, little evidence of Divine consolation stirring amongst us.

5th. First-day morning, at our own meeting, I felt drawn to revive the injunction, “Be still, and know that I am God;” also the gracious declaration, “I am God, and change not, therefore you sons of Jacob are not consumed.” The indispensable need of this inward stillness and constant waiting upon the Lord, that we may know Him, through the operation of his own Spirit upon our hearts, was held up; by which, in prayer to Him, we shall be delivered from the power of the enemy, who would destroy us by his temptations, and lead us to cast away our confidence in the Lord's mercy and protecting power.

6th. I went to our Quarterly Meeting, under depression and fear. There was a season of solid quiet over the meeting; during which, I believe, souls were brought to hunger and struggle for a blessing. Communications were delivered which directed to the great work of salvation. Some were warned of the consequences of being ashamed of Christ before men, in denying the simplicity which He requires, though they might confess Him with the tongue. I rejoiced in the evidence furnished, that the Lord was still mindful of us, and extended his mercy towards us. How is this meeting changed by the removal of substantial and dignified ministers and elders by death; but I trust others are preparing for service in Christ's church.

16th. Having some pointings to Salem Quarterly Meeting, and feeling tender sympathy with discouraged ones there, I went to Woodbury. The meeting was about the usual size, and the Lord condescended to give the word, and authority to declare it. I felt engaged to press upon all, the need of being diligent in the work of their soul's salvation, which no man can do for us. The Lord's quickening power, I believe, was felt among us, and Friends appeared to be glad to have us with them.

21st. I was at the North Meeting; in which I was led to warn some of the danger of unwatchfulness, and taking flight in the winter season, or on the sabbath-day. Man is not to live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. We must endure patiently his appointed means for our refinement, that we may be prepared for his return to our souls, and be preserved from losing the little we had already gained.

29th. Many of our friends have been absent from the city this summer, and though we have enjoyed much peace, the lack of their society, and the smallness of our meetings, make a blank that causes us to feel some languor and emptiness, which is depressing. As the true harmony and fellowship subsist in the Society, we shall be more one another's strength and joy whether present or absent. But the present sense of weakness may contribute to our humiliation, and safe keeping on the watch.

Ninth month 12th. Rode up to Medford, and attended Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, in which we felt much with a suffering remnant there, to whom my wife ministered in a consoling manner. Went to the mansion of our beloved friend Lydia Stokes. The society of this aged Friend, as well as of some others, was attended with feelings of peacefulness and sweet unity. She is another of the pillars in the Lord's house, who has a heavy burden to bear, and who we cannot expect will be much longer continued in this militant state.

Here we heard the affecting intelligence of the death of our much valued friend, Sarah Hillman, of the Northern District; a sound minister of the gospel, and possessing a clear understanding in matters pertaining to the service of the church, beyond most of her years. Her removal was quite a shock to me, though I had heard she was very ill; yet secretly hoped it might be consistent with the Divine will, to prolong her life to old age, for the church's sake, which feels the need of the help of such exercised ones.

13th. Went to the Quarterly Meeting, under heaviness of heart. It was a large collection of people, and a sense that individual concern for their own salvation, was greatly lacking in a large number, was the prevailing feeling of my mind.

After a time of silence, I believed it right to rise with the testimony, that religion is an internal work, between the soul and its Almighty Creator; and was led to open the doctrine, that in his mercy, He gives every one a sight of his condition in the fallen, transgressing nature, and if he receives the Lord Jesus in his appearance in the heart, He not only shows him his sins, but will give him power to forsake them, and grant repentance and forgiveness. He breaks down the kingdom of Satan, casts him out, and prepares the soul, by the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, to be a temple for him, by his Holy Spirit, to dwell in.

Tenth month 1st. The printed minutes of Ohio Yearly Meeting, which have been received, are comforting, in the belief that Friends there had been favored with the presence of the Head of the church, qualifying them to transact their concerns for the edification of their members, and the exaltation of the Lord's name and honor. Their trials are great, from having been wrongfully rejected by other Yearly Meetings, while those who separated from them have been acknowledged as a Yearly Meeting. I hope the Lord will judge between them, and grant patience and faith to his afflicted children, to hold on in the right way, to the support of his cause, and the growth of the members in the Truth.

18th. Feeling drawn to attend the burial of our late beloved friend, Margaret M. Smith, my wife and myself went up to Burlington for that purpose this morning. A terrible catastrophe occurred on the New York Railroad, a few miles north of this town, by which a number were killed, and others wounded. Many of them were brought to Burlington, and this dear Friend, whose heart was ever ready to sympathize with the sufferer, had a man and his wife, in a maimed condition, brought to her house, which she gave up almost entirely to them, their connections and servants; herself rendering much assistance in nursing them. A scene so affecting and so different from anything she had participated in, by which her feelings could not but be powerfully wrought upon, proved too great a strain for her nervous system; and in a short time after all were removed from her house, she became indisposed. Medical skill proving unavailing, she gradually sank away, beyond the control of human remedies, and departed this life on the evening of the 15th.

She was a woman of remarkable philanthropy and kindness to all, especially the distressed and the poor; and a humble, self-denying follower of Christ, shown by her steady, consistent walk through life; one of the pure in heart, and of the salt of the earth; possessed of a good understanding and discernment in religious things. She maintained an undeviating testimony against the attempted innovations in principle made upon the faith of Friends; and was a comforter of others who took the same stand. Her views of the plainness and simplicity which the Truth leads into, did not admit of making unnecessary display, while true comfort and abundance were provided by her. Thus another of the true seed of Christ's kingdom, has been gathered to her everlasting rest in Him, among the children of the first resurrection; not by works of righteousness that she had done, but according to the mercy of God, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost; which He has shed on us abundantly, through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I believed it right to bear testimony, at her grave, of the belief, that she was gone to the multitude that surround the holy throne; being made a partaker of the salvation purchased for us, through the precious blood of Christ. It is not our place to question the right of Him who rules in the armies of heaven, and among the kingdoms of men, to call away the members of the militant church, when He pleases; but every one removed, is the taking away of salt from among us, and should incite us to ponder our true condition, and to ask, in the spirit of prayer, of Him to supply our needs, and to raise up others to fill the vacancies made by the transition of faithful servants to the church triumphant in heaven.

Eleventh month 4th. At our meeting this morning, (first-day,) I was constrained again to warn some, that there were but twelve hours in the day, in which men may work, and then the night comes wherein no man can work. That their day was passing away, and it was evident they were neglecting the business of salvation, in the pursuit and love of the things of the world. None knew when their day would expire; it may come to a close unexpectedly, and if laid on a death bed, with the work unaccomplished, awful must be the prospect of a never-ending eternity. Many have been landed in that condition, when they would have given everything for a little time, to do this all-important work. Some were pleaded with in the love of the gospel, to give up all that the Lord's controversy was with, and submit to the terms of salvation, while the day lasted.

My dear wife knelt and supplicated, that if any had been drawn to this meeting, and were made sensible that the shades of the evening had come upon them, and the great work of salvation was not done, they might yield to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit, and before it was too late, show forth the goodness and mercy of God, in plucking them as brands from the burning; by walking in his fear, and drawing others to glorify God, on their behalf. It was a solemn, impressive time, and I hoped some were reached.

5th. The meeting for worship, before entering on the business of our Quarterly Meeting, today, was a solid and instructive season.

18th. I have felt much emptied of Divine consolation and strength, for days past, both in meeting and out of it. Refraining from much conversation, and endeavoring to draw near to the Lord in spirit, I have believed to be the safest place for me; and I trust, that preservation on the watch has been experienced. The prospect of religious service is much withdrawn; and discouragement as to any benefit arising from it, when the fresh anointing is felt, is often the accompaniment of my mind; but I endeavor to hold on my way, and to seek for ability to trust in the never-failing Helper of the poor and needy.

20th. My dear wife feeling drawn to attend the Quarterly Meeting at Rahway, we set off this morning in the cars, and got to our friends, Joseph and Martha Shotwell's, about noon, where we put up. Next day we were at their Select Meeting; in which we both had some service, encouraging the few who felt poor in spirit, and were mourning for the desolations of our Society. Also holding up the testimony of our blessed Savior, that without Him we can do nothing; and hence the need of waiting for the arising of his life and power, to quicken and qualify for the work He would bid us to do.

22nd. The Quarterly Meeting was a very small company; but few there from Shrewsbury and Plainfield; all the meetings being in a dwindling condition.

Twelfth month 7th. Having been at West-town, attending the meeting of the committee, which prevented me from being at our usual week-day meeting, I went this morning to that in Arch Street; which was small for that large house. We sat more than an hour in silence, during which the circumstance of Christ calling his disciples, sheep, and on commissioning them to go forth, telling them, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves; be therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves,” was brought before me. I felt fearful of speaking, lest I might act without his authority, and thus injure the good cause; so that I seemed likely to come away without breaking the silence. But finally the fear of putting by a right impression, induced me to stand up with those words, and to show that the true disciples, who keep in the Spirit of their Divine Master, in times of suffering and persecution, were like sheep in the midst of wolves; and they were to be wise as, but not in the serpent's wisdom, but in that which comes from Him, who is the wisdom of God, and the power of God; and to be clothed with the harmlessness of the dove; showing the nature of Him who is the Lamb of God, that takes away the sin of the world. Though not exposed to outward persecution at this day, yet there is much suffering to be endured; and when the cup that is to be partaken of, for the body's sake, which is the church, is presented, we are to drink it with resignation to Him, and it will contribute to our humiliation and preservation in Christ. When suffering is withdrawn, how liable are we to take our ease in the comforts with which we are surrounded.

The nearer we draw to the close of our journey, the more need there is to be clad with the holy, harmless and undefiled nature and spirit of Christ. When the disciples returned from the accomplishment of their mission, and told their Lord that even the devils were subject to them, through his name; He said, “Rejoice not that the spirits are subject unto you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.” This is the all-important object of our lives, to be prepared, by his power giving us the victory over all the power of the enemy, to have our names recorded in the Lamb's book of life. Nothing is worthy of competition with this. No name or fame among men; all that our companions may say in our favor, are nothing. We must individually stand before the tribunal of Jesus Christ, and receive a reward according to our deeds; we can have none of them to plead our cause there.

Chapter XXXI

1855—1857

Religious Engagements at and about Home

1855, Twelfth month 10th. Feeling drawn to attend Haddonfield Monthly Meeting, I went over to it this morning. The company was smaller than usual. This is discouraging to those who are constrained to endeavor to keep up their religious meetings, and to do what their hands find to do, in support of the cause of Christ. They go through much mental exercise on account of it, often fearing that their meetings will dwindle away, and the members become scattered to the world. For this class, I felt much, while sitting with them, and was led to show that the Lord's people, in many instances, had passed through much humiliation and bitter suffering before He saw fit to manifest Himself for their deliverance. The children of Israel in Egypt, and the Jews in the reign of Ahasuerus, appeared to be exposed to destruction. Moses and Mordecai were brought very low, before they were used as instruments in the Lord's hand, in bringing about the liberation of that people from bondage, and the murderous designs of Haman; but the Lord made way for them, and He can do it in this day, for us, when his time comes. We must learn to bear affliction, and to wait upon Him, and as we are enabled, pray to Him, to give us faith and patience, and to extend his compassion to his tribulated children, for their support and consolation.

21st. For some days past, it seemed out of my power to come at inward, humble waiting upon the Lord, or to feel the spirit of prayer in tender cries unto Him for help. Our Meeting for Sufferings, today, called forth but little religious feeling and exercise; the subjects which claimed its attention, being much of an outward character. I thought the day for my taking part in the services of Society was drawing to a close. It is like being stripped of all armor and qualification; which, will no doubt be placed on others, who will be called into the Lord's work. If I can be favored to retire to the inner temple, and partake of the cup of suffering, for my own purification, more and more experiencing the silence of all flesh, and keeping steadfastly upon the watch-tower, to see what the Lord shall say unto me, if He condescend to speak, and what I shall answer when I am reproved, preservation and greater deepening in the Divine life, I humbly hope, may be more fully known.

23rd. Having for some time had a draft to Cropwell Meeting, I went there this morning, first-day. I was brought into sympathy with those who love the Lord Jesus, and feel bound to endeavor to hold their meetings according to our testimony to inward spiritual worship, and when able to attend, cannot stay from them. To these, I was led to minister, I hope, a cup of consolation and encouragement; that they might hold on faithfully, setting a good example to the young people, that they may be gathered to Christ, and a band of living witnesses be raised up among them. Invitation was also extended to the young people, who are favored with clear convictions of the Holy Spirit, setting their sins in order before them, to yield to the Divine will, and let the Lord make them what He would have them to be; and they would know Him to effect the work of sanctification, to their own peace, and the comfort of the church. I was also bowed in thanksgiving to the Father of mercies, that there were preserved in that place a remnant, upon whom rested a concern to be found in their allotment; and humble prayer was put up, that in his mercy, He would sustain these, and make them instrumental in gathering the children and the young people to his beloved Son, that they may be prepared to occupy their places in the church, and support the cause and testimonies of Truth.

1856, First month 8th. The great importance of being preserved from the power of the tempter, came over me with much weight this morning, before I rose; and I was brought to put up fervent, mental cries to the God of all our sure mercies, that He would not suffer me to fall into temptation; that in unmerited mercy, He would forgive and blot out my sins, and remember them no more; and that whatever He saw meet, to humble and keep me on the watch, He would, in his tender compassion, administer, for my preservation from evil. I remembered some who had been highly favored, and had afterwards slidden from the foundation. I thought of our beloved friend Thomas Kite, how he had been taken away before he reached my age, in peace and brightness; and it was to me more desirable to be removed from this scene, before anything should dim the character, which through grace, we may have been favored to attain, than to be continued here to old age, and lose the life and virtue of religion, which had been our experience to possess. He who, of his own good pleasure, begins the work of regeneration, and carries it on to its perfection, can alone keep us from falling, and in the end present us faultless before the throne of his glory, with exceeding joy. May it be my experience, though unworthy of the least of all his favors.

20th. We have had very severe weather, at different times, since the beginning of the year; the mercury having been several degrees below zero in the city, and still colder in parts of the neighboring country. Much snow has fallen, making traveling in many places very difficult, particularly on some railroads: also encumbering our streets, which have been covered with an unusual thickness of ice. Many ways are adopted to meet the necessities of the poor, though there is not so much street begging as last winter. It is evident, the more that is done for those beggars, the more importunate they become; availing themselves of every source of supply they can; by which, unworthy persons often deprive more deserving objects of what they should receive; but it would be wrong to allow any to suffer from lack, however unjustifiable their course may be.

On first-day morning, the 17th, I was again engaged to preach the everlasting gospel, both concerning the coming of the Son of God in the flesh; his propitiatory death for the sins of the whole world; his glorious advocacy at the right hand of the Father, and as being the Source of all saving knowledge of God, by the immediate revelation of his Holy Spirit in the heart. It is the grace that comes by Jesus Christ alone, that can impart the saving knowledge that is life eternal. The heart must receive Christ in his spiritual appearance, submit to his will, forsake all and follow Him, in order to receive this knowledge of God, and hold communion with Him, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Many are willing to believe the doctrines of the New Testament, but refuse to deny themselves, forsake sin, and follow the Lamb of God whithersoever He leads; and thus they fail to become partakers of the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ. Oh, the lack of the pure and undefiled life of Christ Jesus, ruling in I he professors of his name!

Third month 12th. The weather this week has been very cold for the time of year; the mercury in thermometers in the city, being but six to nine degrees above zero, for one or two days, and in the country, at a degree or two below zero. There has been much difficulty in opening the navigation of the Delaware. Vessels which have been at the breakwater many weeks, have now been towed up by ice-boats; and though it is still quite cold, it is hoped the channel may be kept open, and that laboring men may have opportunity to obtain employment, to keep them from suffering; of which it is to be feared there have been not a few instances this winter. It has been throughout a severe winter; long and tedious.

13th. I went to Haddonfield this morning, and attended the Quarterly Meeting held there, which was large, several Friends from two or three other Quarters being there. In the second meeting, it appeared to be my place, to call Friends to the quickening, heart-changing power of the Holy Spirit; which prepared the early Friends to understand and to open to the people, the doctrines and the nature of the gospel dispensation. It is the same Divine life that can open them to us, and which will bind us conscientiously to maintain them before the world, and to all people; not in word only, but by consistent lives and conversation. Returned home in the evening, thankful we were permitted to land safely, there being much heavy ice in the river.

15th. This evening, near nine o'clock, the steamboat in which we had crossed the river, in going to and from Haddonfield, took fire. Being old, and the timber very dry, the flames spread rapidly, and the captain not being able to get her through the canal in the island opposite the city, on account of the ice, an attempt was made to run her back to the wharf; but the steersman's house was soon enveloped in the flame, so that he was driven from the wheel; and thus being left to the current, which turned her from her course, and swept her off again into the stream, before any could spring to the wharf, which was by some attempted, she drifted away, and was finally grounded on the bar. There was said to have been one hundred persons on board, sixty-two of whom it is supposed were lost, either by being burned to death, or by being drowned, after jumping into the river. Boats of different descriptions were put off for their relief, but being night, and probably but few at hand, the destruction of life was fearful. Such an awful event has never before occurred on our river, that we have any account of. Death, overtaking so many, who could have had no apprehension of it, a few minutes before leaving the wharf, and under such dreadful circumstances, had much effect upon the public mind, as well as bringing deep distress on surviving connections and friends.

18th. I went to the North Meeting, under some trial of faith. It was a large collection, many school children being there. The circumstance of parents being rebuked by some, for bringing their children to the Savior, that He might lay his hand on them and bless them, was presented to my mind; and after waiting, and trying the fleece wet and dry, the subject was opened; and the danger alluded to, of persons placing stumbling-blocks in the way of the children, whose minds are brought under Divine conviction; and thereby turning them aside from their Savior. The mercy and goodness of our Heavenly Father, in watching over and warning young people of the temptations of Satan, and the enticements of wicked persons; of which I could testify from experience, when an apprentice boy, and the Lord's defense, vouchsafed by the horror suddenly brought over me, were referred to; and all pleaded with to mind the visitations and requirings of the Most High extended to them. Ability was graciously granted to preach the gospel, under the quickening power of the Holy Spirit, which reached and tendered the hearts of some, and I came home thankful for the unmerited favor.

23rd. It is not the hearers, but the doers, of the law, that are justified. As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. It is those who do the sayings of Christ, that build upon the rock; and when the floods beat upon their house, it will not fall, because it is founded upon a rock.

30th. On fifth-day, the 27th, I was at the Philadelphia Monthly Meeting. I felt required to mention the fasting, almost to famishing, which the Lord's children had at times to endure; but that it was a great mercy to have preserved a hunger and thirst after righteousness, for in his time we shall be filled. The subject opened so as to show that whatever were our growths, experiences or gifts, we can do nothing, and are nothing, without Christ. The goodness of the Lord, in filling my heart with these Divine things, was humbling, and renewedly manifested his watching care over, and preserving goodness towards his poor, dependent children.

After so severe a winter, it has been cause of gratitude, that the great quantity of snow and ice has so gradually dissolved and passed away, as to produce but little damage. How merciful is our Father in heaven towards poor, sinful, rebellious man! and how ought we to lay to heart, the withholding of his judgments and anger, for the wickedness that prevails in the land to humble ourselves and implore his forgiveness of our sins, and for strength to forsake them, and to walk uprightly before Him; bringing forth the fruits of holiness, to the praise of his great and glorious Name.

Fourth month 28th. Our Yearly Meeting was held last week; in which I was again continued clerk, and I thought I had never passed through so much suffering, from day to day, as I did through the whole of its sessions.

Accompanying the London epistle, was a printed statement of the reasons governing that meeting, in its acknowledgment of the separate meeting in Ohio; which some wished to have read. After it was deliberately read, Samuel Bettle, Sr., expressed his dissent from their conclusion to own that party in Ohio, and bore a very decided testimony against separations in our religious Society; as they were no remedy of evils or difficulties. Our place was to bear, and patiently suffer until the Lord brought relief. He referred to George Fox's epistle, written from Amsterdam, against a spirit that was seeking to promote divisions and separations in the Society, at that day. I think that the manner in which separations, and their consequences, were treated, had a useful effect upon many minds.

Seventh month 9th. This morning we were favored with the cheering and strengthening presence of the Lord, at our fourth-day meeting at Orange street. I was impressed with the belief that the Lord is at work in the hearts of many, to prepare them for service in his church, as they dedicate themselves unto Him. What is lacking, is for every one to look into his own heart; not to be looking out to see what others are to do. When Moses was told that Eldad and Meclad prophesied in the camp, Joshua said, “My lord Moses forbid them.” But Moses said unto him, “Do you envy for my sake? Would God that all the Lord's people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his Spirit upon them!” Though it is not to be expected that every one will be made a vocal minister of the Gospel, yet every submissive soul would be favored with a measure of the spirit of discernment, and under the Divine influence, would be qualified, at times, to speak of what the Lord had done for it, to the instruction and comfort of other seeking ones; and I believe more ministers would be raised up to preach the everlasting Gospel, as the visible church was more generally gathered into obedience to the blessed and adorable Head.

25th. Poverty of spirit, and the feelings of mourning over the present state of the Society, have been my portion. The weight of discouragement at times, seems heavy to bear, so that there is a secret longing for a release. Oh! for a renewed evidence that Divine regard is not withdrawn, but that His mercy is lengthened out still. Nothing seems to sustain the poor, tribulated soul, like a secret, quickening sense that the Lord is near, watching over and defending us. The devil is walking about, as a roaring lion, seeking to devour us, and to prevail on us to cast away our faith and hope, and no longer to look to the Lord for help; and in these days of darkness and fear, true, experienced Friends, seem to be few. But like Job, may we, in the Lord's way and time, witness a change, and our last state be better than it was in the beginning.

29th. For several weeks we have had very warm weather, the mercury almost daily being from ninety to one hundred degrees in the shade, and but little rain has fallen within the last three weeks; so that the ground has become much parched, and vegetation dried; creating fears, in some places, of the loss of the crops, and the necessary supply of grass for the cattle. Such heat, and the rain withheld, show us how dependent we are upon Divine Providence, and the need of remembering this constant dependence, and of receiving with more thankfulness, than it is to be feared many do, the temporal as well as spiritual favors that are bestowed upon us. How easily could He cut off our supplies of food, and command a famine in the land; so that life would be in danger. We have been fed to the full, and it may be, have forgotten, that all we enjoy is the bounty of heaven; and have continued to live too much as if there was no danger, but that we had our blessings at command. But the Lord's mercy is lengthened out to a wicked and gainsaying people. Today some rain has fallen, and the weather being clouded, we have hope for more. The little lightning and thunder we have had this season is quite remarkable; no heavy thunder-gusts have occurred in this part of the country.

Eighth month 3rd. Quite a heavy shower with lightning, this afternoon; very refreshing to vegetation.

4th. Our Quarterly Meeting was rather a heavy time; though not without some encouragement, through instrumental labor of others.

20th. This week I went to the Northern District, and the Arch Street Meetings, feeling the pointing of the Divine finger, under a sense of much weakness and poverty. When I sat down in the meetings, I was tried with many things rushing into my mind, producing discouragement, and a sense of great unworthiness, and incapacity for the Lord's work. What I had to say, which I believe was from the Lord's putting forth, was all brought into my mind, after getting out other things, by the secret working of the Holy Spirit. I believe some were brought under serious feelings, and I hope some were comforted, and others animated to look into their own conditions, whether their work is going on with the day. I came away from both meetings, peaceful.

On the 22nd my wife and myself went On a visit to our friends J. B. and wife, at Columbus, New Jersey. It proved a pleasant interview, and interchange of sentiment and feeling. They are honestly concerned for the right maintenance of the cause of Truth, as our first Friends were bound to support and promulgate it to the world.

On the 24th, rode from there to Rancocas, and attended the weekday meeting; in which, through condescending goodness and love, we were engaged in the ministry; and several Friends expressed their gladness at our stopping in with them. Many of the meetings within our Yearly Meeting, have no minister; and though the life and growth of true religion are not dependent on ministers; yet were the members living daily under the subjecting power of Christ, we may believe that more gifts would be given, both for the ministry and the eldership. To the primitive church they were dispensed for the building of it up; for the instruction and feeding of the children, the lambs of the flock; and they would be continued to be given for the praise and glory of the Great Head, and for the promotion of his cause, were the members prepared to receive them. But the things of this fading world, the love of ease and creaturely enjoyments, absorb the thoughts and affections of many, whose hearts are not open to let the King of glory come in, and set up his kingdom there. Thus the all-important work of sanctification is obstructed; and such remain unfit to receive gifts, and therefore cannot occupy them; and the glory which would rest upon us as a religious body, were we faithful to the Lord, does not appear among us as it has in days past.

Tenth month 2nd. This morning I was drawn into a consideration of the continued mercy and goodness of the Lord, extended to me from childhood up to this day. I have been delivered from many temptations and evils, and provided with everything necessary for my comfort and subsistence through life; and experienced the Lord to be with me in many trials, and strippings, and baptisms, in the work of regeneration. My faith was renewed in his condescending goodness and preserving power; and that those who hold out to the end shall die in the arms of their Savior.

5th. This day I am sixty-nine years old, and have been remarkably blessed with health, and with many outward and spiritual comforts; for which I have great cause to devote myself, and all that I have, to the Lord's disposal and service; and to return gratitude and thanksgiving to Him for all his mercies, which are new every morning. May my dear children, be induced by Divine grace, to surrender themselves entirely to his blessed will, and thereby be prepared to take their places in the church of Christ, in the support and promotion of the great cause of truth and righteousness. And may He, who began the work of regeneration at an early period of my life, unworthy as I am of the least of all his favors, continue to be round about, and preserve me to the end; that I may never be permitted to do anything to bring the least stain upon the truth, or its holy cause; but by, and through the Lord's power, be kept in the low valley of humility, looking to and relying upon Him daily for his guidance, and the sustaining virtue of his Divine life.

Eleventh month 16th. This morning, (first-day,) the Lord condescended, I believe, to draw near again; bringing me under exercise for individuals in our meeting, who are at times brought to feel their undone condition, and to long for deliverance from spiritual bondage; and in the openings of his Spirit, I was led to minister to such, and to point out that there is no way by which we can be released from the bondage of sin and corruption, but by coming to Christ Jesus in his appearance in the heart; taking his yoke upon us, denying ourselves and following Him in the way of regeneration. I trust the solemnizing power of Christ went over the meeting; and my dear wife was prostrated in supplication for the children, and the rebellious. We had cause humbly to thank the Lord for the renewed manifestation of his Divine regard and condescension, to us poor unworthy creatures, and to breathe in spirit, that He would continue his humbling and preserving power, to keep us in his fear and favor.

27th. Felt drawn to attend the Arch Street Meeting. Pretty soon after being seated, the expressions of our Lord presented: “Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abides alone; but if it die, it brings forth much fruit.” The apostle declared that he died daily, and asked the believers, “Know you not that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ, were baptized into his death; therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death; that like as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.” The dealings of the Head of the church, with the members of his body, are a mystery to the natural, unregenerate man, which he cannot understand, nor believe in. They are known only through living experience; and those who submit to his humbling, reducing baptisms into death, as they abide under them in patience, when they have accomplished his purpose, He will raise them up out of this death, by his power, into newness of life. Thus He prepares the creature for his service, and carries forward the work of sanctification. These, know Him to be the author and the finisher of their faith, and can believe and savingly understand the testimony of the Holy Scriptures, concerning the mysterious operations of the Holy Spirit, and bear a true declaration concerning them.

Twelfth month 13th. Since my return from attending the School Committee at West-town, I have been quite unwell, and the apprehension that my day was drawing to a close, has been much upon my mind. There are so many trials and distressing feelings arising from the state of our poor Society, that sometimes I seem ready to desire to be permitted to depart and be with Christ, if the right time was come, and through his unmerited mercy, He would prepare me for the awful change. Excepting the preciousness of my dear wife and children, and other near connections, there seems nothing to attach me to the world. I have been provided with everything necessary for comfort in this life, but they are only for this life; and when the end comes, they are of no value to the immortal soul. To be washed, and sanctified, and justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God, is the one great thing needful. May this be my blessed experience before the close comes, so that an entrance may be administered into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ, among the generations of the blessed.

28th. I have been wrapped up in silence for weeks. Today, there seemed a little opening to point out the necessity of doing the work which every one is called to perform; by which our own salvation, and that of others, will be promoted.

1857, Second month 2nd. We had an uncommonly large Quarterly Meeting, which was held in great stillness to the close. In that for discipline, our aged friend S. Bettle, Sr., advocated some of the testimonies borne by Friends, and counseled the young people against attending certain lectures, now become numerous, and which, in his opinion, were likely to draw the mind from the retirement and religious exercise, necessary for a growth in the Divine life. I added the expression of my unity with what be said; and that I believed every one who had submitted to the power of Divine grace, if they looked back at their first espousals to Christ, would see they were then brought under conscientious scruples, to do nothing that would bring a blemish on their religious profession; and as they kept to this, they were preserved out of many temptations they had not foreseen.

9th. Went to Concord, and attended the Quarterly Meeting for Ministers and Elders; and was exercised on the importance of the duties of elders, and of their faithful discharge of them. They were reminded of the advice to watch over one another for good; to warn those who run into words without life and power, that we may be helpful to one another; and be united in true love and fellowship.

10th. The Meeting for Discipline was unusually small, occasioned by the difficulty of getting through some of the roads, now much obstructed by snow and ice, which probably discouraged many from coming. I had something to communicate in the second meeting, on the exercise of the discipline, and the requisite qualification for service in the church, which is only received from the great Head. This is to be waited for in reverent silence before Him, who opens to us our respective duties, and gives ability to perform them.

Third month 8th. Many of the sins of my youth have been brought into remembrance this day, producing the question, whether they have been forgiven; under which, a degree of humiliation was felt, and desires raised before the Lord, that his mercy may be extended, so that they may be blotted out and cast behind his back. I remembered that Job was made to possess the sins of his youth, after the testimony had been pronounced, that he was a perfect, and an upright man; doubtless to show him his nothingness, and that he had no ground to rest upon, but the mercies and forgiveness of God. When he was thoroughly humbled, in the end of this severe dispensation, he said, “I have heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye sees you; wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes;” and “The Lord turned his captivity, and gave him twice as much as he had before.” May I know again and again the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost, and thereby be enabled to confess my sins unto God, and receive his forgiveness and pardon, through the blood of his adorable Son, our Redeemer and Savior, Jesus Christ.

10th. Feeling a draft in my mind, I sat with the Friends of the North Meeting, being their mid-week meeting. Sympathy with the burden-bearers, clothed my mind; also for the dear visited children, who have few fathers and mothers to look up to. The language of encouragement arose in my heart, “Thus says the Lord, that created you, Jacob, Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you; when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle upon you.”

Fifth month 19th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings; in which our friend W. G., from Ireland, had a little service. It felt to me that the time was come, for me to be released from the clerkship; and proposing that a committee be appointed to bring forward a Friend to serve in my place, it was done.

21st. This has been a day of poverty, and seemingly striving for bread in vain; but in the evening, at the close of our reading in the New Testament, the impression came sweetly over my mind, it is a blessing to have the Son of Peace to take up his abode in our habitation; which I felt fresh desires may be more and more known by every one of us, in our individual experience. Without it there is no true happiness.

22nd. There seemed to be a renewed qualification to encourage Friends to hold fast their confidence in the omnipotent Captain of Salvation. He delivered his people out of the hands of their enemies, in days of old. He raised up our Society to promulgate anew, the truths of the everlasting gospel, and He can now deliver us from our trials and difficulties, and raise up others to declare the same blessed doctrines and testimonies; as we give up to his holy will, made known in our hearts.

Eighth month 13th. Feeling an intimation to attend the Quarterly Meeting of Salem, I went to Woodbury this morning, and sat down in the meeting, under a sense of its, and my own stripped condition; and the few there are left to visit Friends in different places. We sat an hour in silence, when it seemed to be my business, to set forth the inward work of religion upon the heart; and that where it is submitted to, it leads into retirement before the Lord; in which the spirit of prayer is at times given, to ask forgiveness for past sins, and for strength to resist the enemy and his temptations. The people of the world are looking out for the faults of others, and feeding upon them; but the Lord's visited and faithful children are concerned to have their own hearts searched, that everything contrary to his will may be done away, and they made to bring forth the fruits of his Spirit, to the praise of his great Name. Their language is, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” The tribulated seed were encouraged to trust in the Lord, and to look to Him daily, for the arising of his power to help them in their trials, and to gather the children. The latter were persuaded to obey the offers of Divine grace and mercy, which are of more value than anything in this world. These are the days of the Son of Man to their souls, which we have no power to command, and if rejected, know not that they will ever be renewed. I thought the tendering power of Christ was felt by many among them, for which we have cause to be thankful to the great Lord of the harvest.

Ninth month 14th. Feeling a pointing of the Divine finger to Haddonfield Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, I went over the river this morning, and attended their Monthly Meeting. In the first sitting I was drawn to address them on the importance of each one laboring in his own vineyard, while the call was extended. If any, by the renewed visitations of Divine grace, were brought to see that their time had been spent without this labor, and that the eleventh hour of the day was at hand, it was all important they should obey the call, to enter into their vineyard and there work, that they may obtain the reward at the end of the day. On fourth-day morning, went to Medford, where the Quarterly Meeting is to be held at this time.

16th. The Meeting of Ministers and Elders was small. After the Queries and Answers had been read, I had some remarks to make on the essential need of keeping in the life of Truth. That a profession however sound, would avail little, if we were not dwelling in Christ and producing the fruits of his Spirit.

The Quarterly Meeting was larger than any other of those in the country. We sat long in silence. When it seemed near time to close the partition, I had an impression to rise, and though it was rather laborious service, I adverted to the importance of Friends, in their social circles, putting a guard over themselves, to avoid lightness, and to abstain from too much conversation. After this, the way opened to address different states, and to hold up the importance of not suffering the world, in its lawful or unlawful concerns, to hinder us from performing our duties to our Heavenly Father; that the work of salvation may be carried, on, and we be filling up the places assigned us in the church of Christ. I felt peaceful and easy.

29th. For a week past there has been much distress, owing to the failure of some moneyed institutions, and of men in large business, and the refusal of our banks to redeem their notes in specie. For several years some merchants have been borrowing large sums of money, to enable them to engage in extensive speculations in various ways; in stocks, in flour, sugars, and in a great expansion of manufacturing establishments. The price of articles of food, and other necessaries in living, have been greatly enhanced. Now, many of the highest standing as merchants, having failed to meet their engagements, and the banks suspending specie payments, confidence in them has been shaken; creating embarrassment from the lack of a reliable medium of circulation. Thus by raising the price of the necessaries of life, an unwarrantable tax was laid on the people, when there had been no scarcity; and when the men engaged in these speculations could no longer obtain loans of money, to maintain their control over those articles, a general breaking up has followed; manufactures have stopped, mechanics and others have been thrown out of employment, and money transactions involved in confusion. It is remarkable that many of those considered the most wealthy, and the most sagacious and competent as merchants, have been the first to become embarrassed; by whom, many of the smaller traders, have been involved in great difficulties, and losses. We have been going on with high heads, as if nothing could arrest our progress in excessive trade; but the Lord has his way in the clouds, and thick darkness, and He uses the means to bring down the lofty from their great exaltation, and to chastise the people for their worldly-mindedness, their rebellion, and their slighting of Him and their duty which they daily owe to Him.

I went this morning to the Northern District Meeting; and was led to entreat the young people to give up to the Lord in the day of their visitation, and they would gradually know a growth in the Truth. Joseph who was hated of his brethren, was through faithfulness to his God, prepared to be as a Savior to his father's house, and governor over Egypt; having suffered persecution and imprisonment for standing firm to the Divine will. He could not foresee that which was afar off, respecting himself, but by obedience he was kept in purity, and grew in wisdom; so that his father, on his death-bed, compared him to “A fruitful bough by a well, whose branches run over the wall: the archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him; but his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong, by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob.”

While a lad, he was cruelly treated by his brethren, some of whom would have destroyed him. But he was preserved in the fear of the Lord, and the Lord watched over him; and in process of time, made use of him, when way was to be made to keep the people alive in famine. He became the instrument in the Divine hand, of keeping his father's family in the great dearth which spread over the country. Many young people in minding the guidance of their Savior, have steadily advanced in religious growth, until, as they grew in years, they have become pillars in the Lord's house, and instruments in his hand to rebuke transgressors, and to draw souls to Christ.

Tenth month. The pecuniary distress continues to increase, and one failure makes way for another, so that people are left in uncertainty who shall next come to a stop. Business has experienced a great check, even with those whose affairs are in a safe condition; it being difficult to know whom it would be safe to trust. Such a week has not been known by the present generation, and well will it be, if reckless and unprincipled men, who have too little regarded the law of righteousness and justice, are brought to a full sense of their wrong doings, the emptiness of all worldly aggrandizement, and the paramount importance of working out their salvation with fear and trembling before God.

5th. This day, I am seventy years old, and through mercy have been favored with almost continued health; for which and many other blessings, I have cause for deep gratitude and thankfulness to the Father of mercies. May I be still enabled, by the help of his Holy Spirit, to walk humbly before Him; be kept from bringing any shade upon the blessed truth, but in reverent, daily prostration, bring forth fruits of righteousness, to the glory and honor of his great Name.

15th. It was unlooked for to feel my mind turned to the Arch Street Meeting, this morning; but though things in the outward were dark and gloomy, I thought the truth and its cause, and the salvation of souls, remained to be of as great importance as ever; and the Lord could manifest Himself for our good, notwithstanding surrounding discouragements. The nature and efficacy of true faith were brought before me, and after a time of inward waiting, the impression was felt to rise with the testimony of the apostle, that “By grace are you saved, through faith, and that not of ourselves; it is the gift of God';” also the declaration of the wonderful power of faith, exemplified in the experiences of the holy ancients, who through it, wrought righteousness, stopped the mouths of lions, etc. This faith in God remains to be the same, and it is dispensed to his children by the Captain of their salvation, and becomes their victory, as they follow Him in the regeneration. Mere belief in the truths of the Holy Scriptures, though of inestimable value, is not sufficient, without coming to Christ and receiving life and power from Him. Some were invited to examine themselves, whether anything had drawn them away from the devotion and faithfulness to Christ, which they had known in years past; whether their worldly pursuits had suppressed the love and allegiance they once bore to Him. The obedient ones were encouraged to keep fast hold of the shield of faith, and to put their trust in the Lord, who is as near to his children to preserve and defend them, as He ever was, though they may not perceive it; but in his time, He will manifest Himself to their joy and consolation. I trust the power of Truth was felt to be in good measure over the meeting, and I came away in peace.

Eleventh month 22nd. Fervent desires have been almost unremitting, that the Lord would not let me be overcome by any temptation which the evil one may present. I feel the necessity of watching over my thoughts and words, as well as actions, wherever I go; in the street, in the market-house, at the store, at home and in company, lest anything should slip from me that would injure another, or wound my own soul.

28th. For several days I have had my mind turned towards Mansfield Meeting and Burlington Quarter, but labored under concern lest I should be mistaken. As the time drew near, I felt most easy to set off. On first-day, I attended Mansfield meeting, which was pretty large for the country. I was led to address the company, under feelings of affectionate solicitude for their present and everlasting welfare; and to bend the knee in supplication to the Father of mercies, for the extendings of Divine help, to the livingly exercised among them. I hoped the feeling of the humbling power of Christ was spread over us.

30th. Attended the Select Meeting at Burlington.

Twelfth month 1st. Went to the Quarterly Meeting, under a sense of weakness, and with desire to be preserved in my place, not attempting to do anything without the Lord's bidding. I was led to declare, that whatever might be the difficulties we may have to contend with, if faithful to our Lord and Master, He will cast up a plain path before us, and strengthen us to renounce all that He calls us to part with, though as dear as a right hand or a right eye, and give us his peace; and through perseverance, under the guidance of his Spirit, an establishment in Christ will be come to. He will give us power over all the power of the enemy, as He declared to his disciples; and as we were bought with a price, even the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish and without spot, we are to glorify God in our bodies and in our spirits, which are his. Throughout this little visit, I was favored with inward quiet and watchfulness before the Lord; and in the retrospect, was clothed with peace.

8th. My wife and I went to West-town, and met Friends on the committee.

9th. In the course of its deliberation, the disposition manifested by some of the scholars, to bring and wear clothing at the school, which is not suitable, as regards plainness, engaged our consideration. It was manifest, that an unabated concern pervaded the committee, to maintain the testimonies of the Society, in conducting this seminary, according to their original standard. The unity and solemnity that spread over us, were comforting and strengthening. It has generally been the case that Friends have been bound together in sweet fellowship, in conducting the affairs of this institution, and in their interest for the best welfare of the children.

13th. This morning we had quite a large meeting, which, through Divine goodness, was a favored, solemn time. The faithful occupancy of the gift bestowed upon each one, in whose heart, the preparing work of sanctification has been carried on, was held forth, as indispensable to a growth in the Divine life.

“Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind. Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, you also shall receive a crown of glory that fades not away.”

Chapter XXXII

1857—1859

Religious Engagements at and about Home.

1857, Twelfth month 20th. Very unexpectedly, this morning, I felt a pointing to go and sit with the few Friends composing Newton Meeting. There was but little time to get ready, but I had the impression, that if it was the Lord's will for me to go, I should be there in time. The steamboat was just putting off as I came near the wharf, but they held on for me, and I reached the meeting-house in good time. It was mournful to see the reduced state of the meeting, and I was brought into sympathy with some, upon whom the weight of holding it mainly rested. The conviction came over me, that some were, at times, clearly convinced of the emptiness and insufficiency of worldly possessions, to give substantial peace; and also of the calls of the Lord to come away from such enjoyments, and give themselves up to serve the Lord, who alone can grant peace, and make them fit to do his will; and as lights in the world, to glorify Him in their day. They were spoken to in the persuasive spirit of the gospel, to deny themselves, take up the cross and follow their dear Redeemer. The burden-bearers were encouraged to hold on their way faithfully in the discharge of their religious duties. Supplication was made to the Lord to renew his visitations to the rebellious and negligent, and to comfort and strengthen those who are often cast down and afflicted.

1858, First month 30th. Was held the Select Quarterly Meeting; in which some remarks were made on the need of a faithful observance of plainness of dress and manners, in the bringing up of our children. Harmony was felt to prevail. Still there was a feeling of suffering, on account of the working of a wrong spirit in the Society at large.

Second month 1st. We had a large Quarterly Meeting; many of our young members, and some Friends from the country being at it. Great stillness spread over us. Several ministers from the country attended; and in the second meeting communicated their exercises on different subjects. I felt drawn to call the attention of the young people to the daily reading of the Holy Scriptures, in a serious manner, with their hearts lifted up to their Heavenly Father, to open and apply them to their conditions, by his Spirit in their hearts. The more we are obedient to this Spirit, by which the Lord's will is made known, and by which strength is given to perform it, the more we shall love to read the Scriptures; which were given by inspiration of God, and are able to make wise unto salvation, through faith which is in Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit will bind us to make use of the means which the Lord has provided for our help in the way and work of salvation; requiring the attendance of our meetings for worship and discipline, and the support of all our testimonies. The attendance of so many, I thought was evidence that they continued to feel a deep interest in the welfare of the Society, and the maintenance of its principles.

Third month 19th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings; to which was offered, An Appeal to the citizens of the United States, on behalf of the colored people; embracing the slave trade and slavery, by the committee which had been under appointment several months, but had been detained from accomplishing the object, by not receiving the African Reports expected from England. We were informed that they had arrived; having been furnished by the officers having them in charge, without expense. The address was acceptable to the meeting, united with, and directed to be laid before the Yearly Meeting. I thought the testimony against slavery, being founded on the commands of our Savior, as laid down in the Holy Scriptures, would have a good effect upon many Christians of other denominations.

In the midst of so much attempted defense of slavery, by those who hold the colored people as property, it was felt to be our duty, afresh to let the public know, that we continue to reject and oppose human bondage on Scripture ground, and a conscientious belief that slavery is a violation of the rights of the African race; equally with the rest of mankind, the objects of Divine mercy and regard, and entitled to freedom, and the exercise of their mental and physical powers.

28th. In meeting, this morning, I felt an affectionate draft towards the young people; that they might not give way to the temptation to abandon the path of obedience to their Lord, in the time of close trial. David's testimony was brought to my remembrance: “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters; He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” “Surely mercy and goodness shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever;” which I was led to revive for their comfort and strength. This has been the experience of the Lord's children in all ages; and as they persevered in following their Shepherd, and the Bishop of their souls, faithfully and in humility, they grew from stature to stature in the Truth; were blessed from youth to old age, and made useful in his church and household; and when the end came, they died in peace and hope of everlasting blessedness.

Fourth month 1st. This morning I went to the Arch Street Meeting, feeling, as I believed, the pointing of the Divine finger towards it, yet had some searching of heart to guard against being mistaken. After a time of silent waiting, I felt drawn to bear testimony to the peculiar characteristic of the gospel dispensation; that every member of the body and church of Christ, has access to the living Spring of consolation and strength, in himself; and may realize the declaration of Christ, “The water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water, springing up into everlasting life;” and thereby is favored at times with rejoicing in himself and not in another. The servants of Christ have their trials and seasons of spiritual poverty, necessary for their humiliation, and to show them that they can do nothing without their Lord and Master; but He will never be unmindful of them; and in his time will again come, with healing in his wings; and they know Him by the quickening virtue of his power, when He does appear in them. The eminent servant and prophet of the living God declared, that “Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls; yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will joy in the God of my salvation.” This rejoicing was by the immediate, tendering operation of the Holy Spirit in himself; and this rejoicing will continue to be the experience of the Lord's children, as they abide in Christ, holding fast their confidence firm, by his holy help.

8th. Was at West-town, and found the school pretty satisfactory, as relates to the advance of the pupils in their studies. Changes are taking place in the home education of children; the parents, in many cases, neither look nor act like true Friends, and their example must draw their children into much liberty, and turn them away from the humble, plain way of living and dressing, which they ought to observe. This defective home education prepares many children to disregard the regulations of this school, and the care and authority of the teachers, and must contribute to disqualify them for the steady pursuit of their studies. Thus the trouble of the caretakers is greatly increased, and the benefits are not fully derived from the institution, which the provisions there made for a liberal and guarded education, would confer. The unsettled state of our Society, produced by attempted changes in our religious doctrines and testimonies, and by the love and pursuit of the world, doubtless acts unfavorably upon many parents and their offspring; and which we cannot expect to see corrected, but by submission to the convicting power of the Lord's spirit, operating on the heart; and the steady faithfulness of the conscientious and religiously-exercised members. Instead of looking abroad for defects in others, it is important we should keep inward to the Lord; setting a proper example; and as we may be enabled, put up our prayers to Him for our own preservation; and that He would turn the hearts of the people to Himself, and bring our religious Society out of its present wilderness state.

14th. Our Yearly Meeting is near at hand. There seem to be comparatively few true standard-bearers and sympathizers. Some speak of the discipline as being of little importance, when it conflicts with their disorganizing views, and thus are ready to set up their imaginations for revelation, and above the united judgment and wisdom dispensed to the church in its brighter days. It is not in man to control the winds and waves; the Lord alone can rebuke them. May all our afflictions drive us nearer to Him, lead us to put up our prayers for his sustaining help, and to place our trust in his mercy and goodness. We can do nothing for ourselves or for others, without Him; and may He renew our faith, and never withdraw his Holy Spirit from us; in unmerited loving kindness keep us together as a body, travailing in spirit for his cause, and the real welfare of each other.

19th. The Yearly Meeting convened, and was a large body. It opened with solemnity. Samuel Bettle, Sr., called our attention to the belief of Friends, that it was the Lord's work for which we were assembled; and exhorted, to let it be done in his fear, with decency, forbearance, and love of each other. Though some objections were made, an epistle from Dublin, and a minute from London, informing they had not written an epistle to us, were read. In the afternoon, the representatives reported, that way did not open to propose any change of clerks, and they were accordingly continued. The minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings being read, the address to the citizens of the United States, on the colored races, embracing a strong testimony against slavery and the slave trade, was adopted, and the Meeting for Sufferings directed to have printed a sufficient number for circulation.

While the state of the inferior meetings, as brought before the Yearly Meeting, by the answers to the Queries, in the different reports, was under consideration, a good degree of solemnity was over the meeting, and an interest manifested in the different subjects; under which Friends spoke suitably to them. When the business was finished, and the minute of the exercise of the meeting was read, a deep silence followed, and expression of unity with it; when the meeting closed, under the covering of this solemnity. We have cause to return thanks to our Heavenly Father, for his unmerited condescension to us poor, unworthy creatures.

Fifth month 6th. This being the time of Evesham Monthly Meeting, I attended it. I was engaged to warn Friends of the enemy's temptation, to induce the travailing seed, to let go their hope and belief that the Lord is near to support and preserve us; and to persuade them that He is about to forsake and cast off this people; by giving way to which, they would soon abandon their exercise of spirit, for their own spiritual welfare, and for the cause' sake. The living members of the visible church have been enabled to feel and to mourn over the degeneracy which from time to time has crept in among its members. The prophet saw the state of the house of Israel, under the vision of a valley full of dry bones, and he said, “Can these dry bones live?” But when he prophesied at the Divine command, there followed a shaking, and bone came to its bone, sinews and flesh came upon them, and the breath of life was breathed into them, and they became a living army. We ought to maintain the faith, that our Heavenly Father is as merciful and kind to the souls of the children of men, at this day, as He was to our forefathers; when He gathered them out of different denominations, and made them a people to stand for his honor. He will assuredly visit the children, by his good Spirit; and if they submit to his will and guidance, will also make them vessels for his use.

20th. This morning, feeling an impression to go to the Arch Street Meeting, I gave up to it; and after a time of silence, the efficacy and importance of knowing Divine love to pervade our hearts, by which only we can experience happiness in this life, and a hope of blessedness in that which is to come, impressed my mind, and I rose with it. As proof of its abiding influence in our hearts, our Savior told his disciples, “If a man love me, he will keep my words, and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” Blessed experience! to know the Lord to tabernacle with us, and to set up his kingdom in the heart. When this is the case, we cannot encourage feelings of enmity towards any, but will be led to desire the redemption of others from all evil, and to be brought into the same experience of Divine love with ourselves. God is love, and he that dwells in love dwells in God and God in him.” “Perfect love casts out fear; because fear has torment.” A violation of the Divine law produces fear of the presence of our Almighty Judge; as Adam was afraid when he heard the Lord's voice in the garden, after having transgressed. “The wicked flee when no man pursues;” conscious of his guilt, he is afraid, and suffers torment. “But the righteous is bold as a lion;” not bold from reliance on natural energy of body or mind, but from conscious innocency; perfect love of his Maker, and obedience to his will having banished all fear.

If we look back to the beginning of the Lord's work in us, we may see how our hearts glowed with love to Him; and in the heavenly enjoyment which He gave us, our desires extended to the whole human family, that all might be brought to partake of the Lord's goodness, as we then felt it. Surely no change has taken place in Him, or in the power and effects of his Spirit upon the heart; and if we have changed and lost those precious feelings, the cause is in and from ourselves. I expressed the desire for us all, that as we are drawing to our everlasting reward, we might know this love to increase towards all; that we might, as our first Friends did, realize the testimony of our Savior, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one towards another.”

Sixth month 9th. Having been preparing to take up a summer residence in Marple, my family moved out on the 7th. My wife's health having been for some time impaired, and the hot weather, and confinement in the city, increasing the symptoms of her disease, it was very desirable to try what the quiet of the country and a change of atmosphere would do, for her comfort and the improvement of her health.

Seventh month 28th. I am convinced, that the vast business into which some enter, is a great departure from the humility and self-denial which become a christian; and the disposition to overlook this departure, and frame excuses for it, is an evidence that the conscientious obligation, which Friends in the beginning, felt and acted up to, has been much lost among many business men. But I trust the Lord will preserve faithful Friends, and raise up among the young people, those who will be brought, by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit, to keep in moderation, in their trade or business; and therein show the excellency of the religion of the Lord Jesus, and that their eyes are directed to a heavenly inheritance, above everything in this state of being. How has the desire after riches drawn hundreds away from the work of salvation, and a steady walking with God. In this way the glory has departed from many, and the strength and ancient dignity of our religious Society become greatly eclipsed.

31st. Was held our Select Quarterly Meeting, which was small; but I felt constrained to encourage Friends in the discharge of all their religious duties, looking to the Lord for his blessing to rest upon us.

Eighth month 1st. I went to Germantown Meeting, sensible of poverty and weakness. After a time of silent waiting, the Lord opened the way to invite the people to come to Christ; who when in the prepared body, invited those who labored and were heavy laden, to come unto Him, take his yoke upon them, and learn of Him, and they should find rest to their souls. He alone can grant a sight of our sinful condition, give repentance, and bring man back into the image of God, which was lost by transgression. It was a season of unusual openness and freedom in preaching the gospel of life and salvation, through our Lord Jesus Christ, both with reference to his coming and suffering in the flesh, and now in his spiritual appearance in the heart, to regenerate and sanctify it, and set up his holy kingdom, in place of the kingdom of Satan. Much solemnity spread over us, and there were those thankful for the favor conferred on us by the Lord, at this time.

10th. In the Quarterly Meeting held at Concord, this morning, I felt much for the young people, who had given up to serve the Lord, yet were buffeted by the temptations of Satan, and the floods of discouragement which the dragon was casting out of his mouth, if possible to destroy the true seed; and I was led to counsel them to gather inward to the Lord, and He would lift up a standard against the enemy, defend and deliver them. It is through tribulation the righteous enter the kingdom in this life, and in the world to come. The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters; and we have a High Priest touched with a feeling of our infirmities, who knows that without Him we can do nothing. He constantly watches over his devoted children; and though at times He hides his face from them, yet with everlasting kindness and compassion will He have mercy upon them. There is no new way to the kingdom, nor any new doctrine to be preached. It is the same strait gate and narrow way which our fathers entered and walked in; who have been gathered among the spirits of the just made perfect. As we are faithful in a little, we shall be made rulers over more, and by the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire, be prepared like the wheat, to be gathered into the garner, where none can hurt or annoy us.

Ninth month 13th. We have been at Marple three months; most of which time we have attended the meeting here with satisfaction; a number not members generally coming on first-day, so that the meeting has been larger than is common. There seems to be a temporary stir on the subject of religion among other people in several places, both in England and in this land; and if the Lord sees fit to work by his own invisible power on their hearts, He may also make way for his servants to labor with some effect, to gather in various neighborhoods, those who have been very indifferent to their soul's salvation. It would be a great comfort to see young and old bending to the yoke of Christ, and be thereby preparing to join the Lamb's army, in spreading his kingdom in the earth. Helpers may thus be raised up in our Society, to maintain its principles and order, and to fill the places of those who have fallen away from the Truth, or have been removed from works to rewards.

30th. After spending about four months at Marple, very agreeably, we returned to the city, and soon felt ourselves very comfortable under our own roof; having cause to thank our heavenly Father for the many blessings He has granted us, both in renewing our health, and giving us to enjoy other temporal and spiritual gifts. May we, through his pardoning mercy in Christ Jesus our Savior, and the continued influences of his Holy Spirit, be more and more sanctified, and made devoted to his service, that our salvation may be wrought out with fear and trembling; that our lives may be to his glory, and when the end comes, we may, through his unmerited mercy, be admitted among the blessed in the realms of eternal light, peace and joy unspeakable, and full of glory.

Eleventh month 14th. At our first-day morning meeting, under a view of the uncertainty of life, and the great importance of being prepared to meet death, I felt constrained to revive the language of the prophet, “The voice said, Cry. And he said, what shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field;” “The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our God shall stand forever;” and to impress upon all the danger of living at ease and in indifference, in our outward comforts; putting off the work of salvation, and being thoughtless of the certainty of death, which may be nearer than we imagine; when wealth, worldly honor and friends, cannot defend us from its stroke.

Twelfth month 12th. In our first-day morning meeting, my mind was clothed with strong desire, that the true spiritual nature and power of the gospel dispensation, might be more generally and deeply felt among us; bringing all into a fervent travail of soul, to experience the work of regeneration, and more intimate communion with the Father of spirits, than is known by the professors of the christian name generally. It is said, “Jesus stood and cried, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink;” and on another occasion, He said, “Whosoever drinks of the water that I shall give him, shall never thirst;” that is, for any other; “But the water that I shall give him, shall be in him a well of water, springing up into everlasting life;” and out of the believer in Him, He declared, “Shall flow rivers of living water. He spoke of the Spirit, which they that believe in Him, should receive, after his glorification.” And the same disciple that recorded these sayings of his Divine Master, further testifies in the Revelations made to him, “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that hears, say, Come. And let him that is athirst, come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” I was drawn to show that we are not dependent on man, to obtain the life and spirit, which alone can nourish the soul unto everlasting life; but that it is through the mercy and goodness of the Savior, the Mediator between our Heavenly Father and our immortal souls, that a measure of his Holy Spirit is granted unto us; by obedience to which, the work of regeneration is effected in us, and the soul thereby renewed up into the image of God, which Adam lost by transgression. Thus we are truly brought into the gospel dispensation; which is a dispensation of life, and spirit and power; for Christ came, that his “Sheep might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” Hereby we are made members of his mystical body, the church; and as we keep our places, will be ministers of righteousness and of the Spirit. It appeared to me very important that all should thus become worshippers of the Father in spirit and in truth; and though it might be in silence, we would, at times, experience mental prayer and praise, like a cloud of incense, to rise from our assemblies before the throne, which would find acceptance with Him.

17th. In our Meeting for Sufferings held today, after a beloved Friend had expressed a desire, that Friends might become a more united body, supporting our principles and testimonies, and keeping in their tents like Israel of old; where, it was said, no divination or enchantment can prevail against them; I felt constrained to add my desire, that we might, individually, more fully experience a participation of the Divine, inward life, for which our Savior came, that his sheep might abundantly partake of it. In this, we should know the unity of the Spirit, in the bond of peace, and resist all attempted innovations upon our doctrines and testimonies. Our ancient Friends were raised up to call the people to the inward participation of the life and power of godliness; but it is to be feared, that many among us have fallen short of this; which is the reason they have let those testimonies fall from their hands.

By a letter received from a Friend in Ireland, I understand there is a probability of London Yearly Meeting so altering its discipline, as to allow of members marrying those not in membership; and doing away the Query respecting plainness of speech, behavior and apparel. The prospect for our Society, should these changes take place, looks gloomy and discouraging; yet I hope there will be many, who will be stirred up and strengthened to stand firmly, in the meekness and constancy of true wisdom, in the defense and maintenance of all our testimonies, as required of our forefathers, to hold up to the world. But it would seem that our trials and sufferings are increasing, rather than diminishing.

1859, First month 9th. First-day, we had a favored meeting this morning. It was a solemn time, for which we must account. The administration of poverty and humiliation were the wholesome food dispensed to me. It is a great favor to be emptied of self, and renewedly brought to a sense of our nothingness. There is preservation in it.

16th. We had a pretty large meeting this morning, first-day; in which it felt to me, there were strangers seeking something On which they might rest their tossed minds. From these feelings, I thought the Lord was bringing some sinful persons under conviction and remorse for their transgressions, and if they would yield to the administration of condemnation, He would prepare them for the gifts of repentance and forgiveness of sin; and by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost, sanctify and make them fit temples for Him, by his Spirit, to dwell in. I felt impelled to address such a state, and to labor to persuade them to stand still and wait for the salvation of God. Not to look abroad for anything to satisfy the mind, or which would stifle conviction, or act as a substitute for true settlement on the right foundation. But to keep inward, under the operation of the Lord's mighty hand; turning their back on temptation, and following Christ in the path of holiness; who would give peace to the troubled spirit, and establish them upon Himself, the Rock; against which the gates of hell shall never prevail. He will never permit the powers of darkness to overcome his children, if they look daily unto Him for preservation, putting up their prayers to Him, morning by morning.

It seemed to me that the Shepherd of Israel was still round about us, offering his love and mercy; and were He received into the heart and obeyed, He would gather many to his fold, and show others that He had not forsaken us as a people. Through the power of his Spirit we should be instrumental in turning many to righteousness, showing forth his praise.

23rd. Apprehending it to be a pointing of duty, I went over to Newton Meeting, being first-day. The company assembled was small. I felt unfit for public service; but in a feeling of great un worthiness, I was quickened by the revival of the Master's language to his disciples, “What I say unto you, I say unto all, Watch;” “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation.” I was much humbled, and thereby in a better condition to communicate what opened on my mind; under a clothing of charity, and sympathy with the little remnant; some of whom appeared to me to feel their weakness and stripped state; neither fathers nor mothers in religious experience and weight among them. Afterwards I was bowed in supplication, that merciful help might be bestowed on all of us.

Second month 20th. Deep inward trials have much attended me for weeks past, under which strong cries have been put up to the Lord for preservation. I believe my mental breathings to the Father of mercies have been heard, and though at times surrounded by clouds, a ray of light would break through, and tenderness of spirit before the Lord would be felt, creating feelings of gratitude; and thanksgiving to Him for his mercy, would overflow my heart. These dispensations, I believe, are designed for my humiliation, to bring me back to my horn book, as dear William Savery said on his death-bed; which saying, I had revived in our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, held the forepart of this month. May the Lord make me more and more willing to submit to, and abide under all his baptisms, to reduce and keep me in the state of a little child; constantly looking to Him for preservation, and for daily bread; and that his Holy Spirit may keep me from being caught by any snare of the cruel enemy.

On the 16th, I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting. At the reading of the answers to the Queries, the awfulness of a parent, at the approach of death, seeing that he had neglected the religious care and restraint of his children, and had by his own example, led them into the world, instead of bringing them to Christ, came over me in so serious a manner, that I was led to open and press the consideration of it upon some present. The preservation and right training of children often greatly depend on the religious example of their parents; and not only their benefit, but the clearness of the parents from condemnation, at that awful hour, and the belief they had done what they could, must be of unspeakable importance.

Third month 27th. The Lord can raise up his servants, and give them power to preach his word, over all the opposing powers of darkness, and the secret resistance that others may cherish, who feel coldness and indifference towards them. True ministers of the gospel have nothing in view, but to comply with the Lord's will, that they may be found clear in the day of account. The spirit of opposition to such is felt at times in meetings, and may be permitted to close up the way for gospel service; but they who indulge it will bring flatness over themselves, and have to suffer for their wrong opposition to the Lord's children and servants. How different is the state of meetings, where brethren and sisters draw near to one another in heart and spirit, like holding up each other's hands, travailing together for the arising of Divine life, and rejoicing when the Lord opens the way for the current of true baptizing ministry to flow freely. Elders are appointed to watch over the ministry, to guard and counsel ministers, when needed; if they have left the gift, or said anything not according to sound doctrine; but this is not all their duty. They have as much need as any others, to watch over themselves, that they may know what spirit rules and actuates them; and they are to give themselves up to sympathize with the ministers, and to share in bearing the burdens which they are brought under; by which they may be preserved from judging in their own will and temper, and may be made instrumental to help them, and by a harmonious labor and travail of soul, assist in bringing to the birth the concerns which ministers are brought under. Hereby they are fellow-helpers in the Lord; and when ministers are raised up by their Divine Master in his authority, then a harmonious exercise is again known in the preaching of the gospel, the great Name is exalted, and the baptizing power goes over the meeting. Ministers and elders thus fulfill their respective services, and contribute to each other's growth and establishment in the blessed Truth. The one preaching what the Holy Spirit opens to them, and the other keeping close to them in spirit, to aid and steady them in their work, that they may not give out, nor deviate from the line of service appointed them by the Great Minister of the Sanctuary.

Fourth month. Heaviness of spirit has been my portion at times, on account of our poor Society. There seems little to inspire with hope, that it will soon rise out of its depressed condition. Yet, evidence is granted from time to time, that the everlasting Arm is underneath, and that the Lord sustains and preserves his afflicted children. I have passed through low places, but have been kept from casting away my confidence, having in mercy had it renewed.

18th. Commenced the Yearly Meeting for business. The Meeting for Sufferings having prepared an enlarged edition of the Book of Advices, first issued about fifty years since, the Yearly Meeting directed it to be distributed by the Monthly Meetings among their members; which I hope will be useful, in reviving and seriously impressing on their minds the importance of our christian testimonies. The consideration of the state of the subordinate meetings, on reading the Queries and the replies, was solidly gone through, without much remark being made.

On fifth-day afternoon, after the consideration of the use of spirituous liquors by the members, and the school education of the children belonging to the meeting, the minute on the state of things among us, as exhibited by the replies to the Queries, was read; and after sitting some time in much quiet and solemnity, the meeting concluded. We have cause for much thankfulness, that the meeting was favored with the degree of unity and solid weight that prevailed.

Fifth month 18th. I am afraid there is a disposition in some, to speak highly of a belief in the sufferings of our blessed Savior, without inculcating submission to his crucifying power inwardly revealed; the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire. It is by the latter, that the chaff is burnt up, every defilement is removed, and we are prepared to receive the fulness of the blessings of the gospel of Christ, and the benefits of his sufferings and death. The gift of grace comes by Him, by which we are made new creatures, for if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are done away, and all things are become new, and all things of God, who has reconciled us to Himself by Jesus Christ.

Sixth month 17th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings; in which was mentioned the circumstance, of some young members having inadvertently paid their militia fines, connected as it had been, with the personal tax, without being specified. The meeting made a short minute to incite Friends to a faithful support of our testimony against wars and fightings, and to put them on their guard against paying such fine.

23rd. A war having broken out in Europe, between the French and Austrians, occasioning great destruction of life; it produces mournful feelings, on account of the slaughter of human beings, having immortal souls to be saved or lost; and for the unenlightened condition of those engaged in it. To me it is inconceivable, how man can be so lost to the common feelings of humanity, and the awfulness of rushing souls into eternity, as to destroy wantonly, without any fear of Divine vengeance, his fellow man; especially, when we remember the declaration of the apostle, “You know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.” What an unchristian spirit must he have, who can urge men under his command, to fire into an army, probably striking down thousands, or placing his army in the position of being destroyed in the same way by their opponents. What account can such commanders, and their military subordinates, give to the Almighty Creator of us all, for the dreadful carnage, by which suddenly and barbarously, thousands of their fellow creatures are deprived of life; over whose existence they have no right of control. How needful for christians to walk humbly before the Lord, asking of Him, strength and wisdom to do his will, and to show forth to those around them, the fruits of his Holy Spirit, that the kingdom of Christ, the Prince of Peace, may be spread in the earth, by their obedience to Him.

25th. Went to the Arch Street Meeting this morning, under feelings of sympathy with Friends there, now much reduced in number. The fear of putting forth a hand unbidden was felt, and I strove to keep inward before the Lord, waiting to see what He would do; until the intimation to rise impelled me to stand up, and to say to the fearful ones, that whatever might be our fears and apprehensions of danger to ourselves, or to the church and cause of Christ, the foundation of God stands sure, having this seal, the Lord knows them that are his. He knows their afflictions, and if they wait upon Him, He will keep them in the hollow of his Omnipotent hand. He has always regarded the fears of his trembling children, and to his immediate followers, Christ said, “Fear not little flock, it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Friends were encouraged to wait upon the Lord, and put their trust in Him.

28th. Went to the North Meeting this morning, having had, the preceding day, a pointing to go there, which was revived this morning. I desired to obey it in simplicity, yet to be preserved from making any mistake. The importance of daily learning the lesson of dwelling in our own hearts with Christ the Seed, that we may be taught of Him, who declared Himself to be meek and lowly of heart, was brought before me, and opened to the meeting. It is only while we are thus kept with Him, that we can sympathize with others, and travail with the Seed for its arising into dominion; and being made sensible of our own frailties, and the meekness and gentleness of Christ abounding in us, the rough Esau nature will be more and more subdued, and the peace of God, which is substantial happiness, will be enjoyed in ourselves, and with those of like experience, in whose society we mingle. We shall be in a state to receive warning of any temptation that awaits us, and immediately to put up our prayers for preservation, looking to the blessed Savior for his aid; and He will deliver us. What harmony and sweet enjoyment prevail among the people, who are brought into such a case! Eighth month 7th. At our first-day meeting, the way opened to hold up the great importance of doing our duty while the day lasts, both for our own sake and that of others; for we know not how short the time may be that will be allotted us to do the Lord's work in; and through his mercy to repent of and forsake our sins and transgressions, that we may obtain forgiveness, through the propitiatory suffering of the Savior, and come to know our salvation wrought out by Him.

Ninth month 4th. Attended the first-day meeting at Germantown, which was quite large. After a time of silent waiting, I was enabled to bear testimony to Christ, who was given for God's salvation to the end of the earth; whom “God has highly exalted and given Him a name, that is above every name; that at the name of Jesus every knee shall bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; and that every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” However his children may be tried, and at times cast down, surrounded by many fears, He will be near to support them, and make the humiliating dispensations which they endure, a blessing. I believed there were those for whom my desire was, that they would not let go their hope and confidence in Him, who is emphatically called the Captain of salvation; who would fight all their battles for them, and carry them through to the end. He declared that on Himself, the Rock, He would build his church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

11th. During the meeting, this morning, my mind was much occupied with the consideration of the evil heart of unbelief in those who are departing from the living God, and violating his law made known to them. The enemy presents his temptations to induce them to gratify the carnal appetite, and persuades them it will confer happiness; and there will be no danger of Divine judgment falling upon them. But our Savior pronounced him a liar and the father of lies; for there is no truth in him. We sat a long time in silence, during which some strangers came in. I was afraid to leave the meeting, without rising to open the subjects that had been resting on my mind, and to hold up the continued mercy of Almighty God, in following rebellious man, and bringing him under compunction for sin and transgression.

15th. We had little business to occupy our attention at our Meeting for Sufferings today. When it was finished, the clerk made some observations upon the necessity of every one coming more under a travail of spirit for his own sake, and for the cause of Christ. Much had been rightly said, about doctrines, but he believed that more of the life was needed; and it was only as Friends are brought individually to partake of it, that the Society would be restored to its former condition. S. C. spoke after him, expressing that the design of our Society being raised up, was to promote the gospel of the grace of God; and its work in the hearts of the people; corresponding with what had been already expressed.

I adverted to the coming of Friends from England to Pennsylvania and New Jersey, in the early settlement of this country, with the view of settling where they could hold and spread their religious principles and testimonies, out of the way of persecution; and that Philadelphia Yearly Meeting had always supported those principles and testimonies. I desired that we should firmly hold to our ancient doctrines and testimonies, under the guidance of the Head of the church, whatever efforts others might make to introduce changes. As we keep to our individual exercise, to know the life of the great Head to prevail, we shall be more and more united to one another, and still be examples for others to look to and follow. We sat for a time, under feelings of solemnity and tender fellowship, when David Cope said, he believed he would not be easy to leave the meeting, without saying, he united with what had been said, and added the expression of some similar sentiments.

Friends parted under feelings of unity; one remarking to me, before he left his seat, that he had not known what the meeting would find to do, but he loved to have such feelings as he then experienced; and many others spoke of it as a good meeting.

Chapter XXXIII

1859—1862

Religious Engagements at and about Home.

1859, Tenth month 5th. This day completes my seventy-second year. Seldom since the work of religion was begun in me, have I experienced more humbling dispensations than for several weeks past. My soul has been, as it were, poured out before the Lord, day and night, beseeching Him that He would defend me against temptation, and bring me down into low places; that every impurity may be removed, and every chaffy thing in me may be burned up with unquenchable fire. My secret cries have been unto Him, that whatever He may see necessary, may be administered, to keep me from falling, or bringing any reproach upon the blessed cause of truth and righteousness, of which I have made profession, and testified before many witnesses. I have thought there was evidence that the Lord's watchful care and mercy were over me; and hope and trust have been at times felt, that his everlasting arm, though invisible, is underneath; supporting and defending a poor creature, who is unworthy of the least of all his favors; that I shall be preserved again to behold the light of his glorious countenance, and be authorized to declare to others of what He has done and will do for those who call upon Him in sincerity and truth, and wait for the renewing of that life which is hid with Christ in God.

In the afternoon of first-day, the 6th, I was very unexpectedly raised up to bear testimony, to the essential necessity of coming to the inward, living and saving knowledge of God, and of his dear Son Jesus Christ. The possession of the Holy Scriptures is an unspeakable favor, especially to the soul that is obedient to the manifestations of the Holy Spirit; and we may see that their testimony points to the inward work, and the indwelling of God with man by his Spirit. “If any man love me,” said Christ, “he will keep my words, and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” Again, on another occasion, He said to his disciples, “I am the Vine, you are the branches;” “As the branch cannot bear fruit, except it abide in the Vine, no more can you, except you abide in me.” Only as we experience the cleansing operation of the Word, that is quick and powerful, can we become living branches of the true Vine, and members of the church of which Christ is the adorable Head, and know the work of regeneration perfected in us. In this way we come to the true and saving knowledge of God and of Christ; and persevering in faith and obedience, witness an establishment in the Truth, and the Lord Jesus to be the Author and the Finisher of our faith; fitting the soul for an admittance into one of the mansions which He prepares for his devoted, faithful children, in his Father's house.

Eleventh month. Our Select Quarterly Meeting, held on the 5th. was attended with religious exercise for our own preservation out of all snares, and that we might be kept inward to the Lord; waiting steadfastly for his putting forth in the service to which He would appoint us; that nothing that man can do in his own will, might be substituted for it.

29th. I was at the North Meeting; in which ability was renewed to preach the gospel. A warning was given against a worldly spirit; that instead of being faithful stewards of the means entrusted to them, some may be refraining to dispense for the benefit of others, that portion which their Lord would require them to give, in supplying their needs. Some are indulging in luxurious living, and in costly furniture of their houses. Our Savior and his disciples set the example of using simple fare, and possessing little earthly treasure. Inasmuch as we brought nothing into this world, and could carry nothing out, it was our duty to be faithful in the proper use of what we held in trust. My mind was clothed with love towards all, and sincerely desired we might experience a united travail for the advancement of the cause of Christ, and for one another's good.

Twelfth month 31st. For about a week, I have been affected with dizziness, to a greater degree than ever before. The uncertainty of what serious consequences might follow, at this period of life, has brought over me feelings of solemnity, in the thought that the end may come suddenly, and how soon, I could not foresee. It induces self-examination; and the need to be prepared for that awful event, has dwelt impressively on my mind. Feelings of resignation to the Divine will, have been experienced, in the hope that mercy and goodness will attend me; and that when the close comes, there will be a blessed hope of entering into rest, and knowing all my sins to have been forgiven, and washed away by the blood of the Lamb; who died for our sins, and rose again for our justification.

1860, First month 11th. My appearances in the ministry are not frequent, being mostly silent, in our religious meetings; often fearing whether we are sufficiently favored in them, with a living travail of spirit for ability to worship the Father acceptably, and knowing our Divine Master to be in the midst.

I have been afraid, on my own account, and for some others, whether the world is properly kept out; and a sufficient exercise steadily maintained, to draw near to the Lord, so as to feel a true, harmonious labor to perform spiritual worship, and to strengthen one another to discharge our respective duties. But the Lord is merciful to us poor, unworthy creatures, and is still opening, at times, the spring of gospel ministry. Today, the deep and weighty testimony of the apostle, with which he commences his epistle to the Hebrews, setting forth the Godhead of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the worlds were made; his purging our sins, and his glorification at the right hand of the Father, opened very impressively upon my mind; but which, from its awfulness, I felt afraid to communicate. After a time, however, I was most easy to submit to the impression; desiring to deliver, in childlike simplicity, what would be gradually opened to me, without any embellishment or human devising. I believe the Lord helped me, and a measure of his baptizing power was spread over the meeting; and when it was through, I breathed for preservation, in a solemn frame of mind.

28th. For many weeks our country has been kept in agitation by threats of the Southern members in Congress, to break up the Union, and their intention to set up a distinct government, composed of the Slave States. Political disputation, and bitter charges against one another, have not only hindered the choice of a Speaker in the House of Representatives, but they have brought great distress on the minds of many persons in all the States. All slaveholders are not favorable to a dissolution of the federal compact; and in the Southern as well as in the Northern States, serious apprehensions must be entertained respecting such an event, and of the dreadful consequences that would attend it, accompanied by convulsions, and probable bloodshed, should the tie that has bound the States together, be dissevered, and every State left to its own course. The hearts of men are in the hands of the great Arbiter of nations, and He only can restrain the wrath of man, and keep wicked men from breaking down the government. But all kinds of abominations have gone over the land; in the Free States, and among slaves and their masters. Nothing but unmerited mercy can withhold the indignation due to our sins, and prevent unprincipled men from laying the country waste. It is hoped that time, and the cool arguments of some influential men, are working changes in the wishes of inconsiderate, headstrong demagogues, and that they will be brought to the exercise of their sober senses, so as to abandon their wicked projects. The return of harmony, and the prevalence of peace, will be an unspeakable blessing.

Second month 4th. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was small, several members being away from indisposition. There was an exercise in the meeting, and communications were made in support of our testimony to a living gospel ministry, and the worship which is in spirit and in truth.

6th. But little was said in the ministry at the Quarterly Meeting for discipline. We got through with the Queries satisfactorily.

15th. Snow fell; but feeling an affectionate and sympathetic draft to the Friends of Salem Quarterly Meeting, I went to Woodbury, this morning. In their little Select Meeting, the spirit of tender feeling went forth for the consolation of the few tribulated companions of their Lord and Master. In the meeting for worship, preceding that for business, I felt impressed to revive the language of our Savior, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man comes unto the Father but by me;” also, “No man knows the Son but the Father; neither knows any man the Father save the Son, and he to whomsoever the Son will reveal Him.” Showing that it is by the revelation of Christ by his Spirit in the heart of man, that the saving knowledge of God and of his beloved Son, is communicated and received. There it is He shows man his condition; what the Divine will concerning him is; and as He is received, He gives power to come out of all evil, and to do his will, in following Him in all his requirings. In this way Christ becomes man's Savior and Sanctifier, and leads him along, step by step, in the way of salvation; opening to him those things that belong to his peace, building him up, and establishing him as a member of his church, upon the immutable foundation, which is Himself. Thus he is made a partaker of the mercy of God, and the faith of which Christ is the Author.

The business of the Quarterly Meeting was conducted with religious weight; and, I hoped, to the strength and encouragement of Friends. Returned home with feelings of peace, and hoping for preservation out of all evil. In the latter part of this month, I made a visit to our Springfield brothers and sisters; attended their meeting on first-day, and their Monthly Meeting on second-day; in both of which I had some service in the ministry of the gospel; endeavoring to strengthen all classes, to greater faithfulness in performing their religious duties, that the world may be kept under foot, and by laboring in the Lord's vineyard, fruit may be gathered unto life eternal.

Third month 8th. I went to the Arch Street Meeting, and was engaged in holding up the favor of having a High Priest that is touched with a feeling of our infirmities, and was tempted in all points like unto us, yet without sin; one who is able to succor them that are tempted, and who come unto God by Him. The more we have partaken of his love and forgiveness, the more we shall feel for others, and at seasons desire their forgiveness, and participation of the same love and mercy of God, in and through our Lord Jesus Christ. The meeting was still and solemn.

At my own meeting I have been much shut up. The withdrawing of the sensible flow of Divine life, is doubtless for our good, and to show us that we have no power to command rain from heaven; and that the people are to be turned to the Fountain of living water in themselves, for refreshment and strength. We all have need to desire to be searched by the Holy Spirit, that Satan may not be permitted to deceive us in relation to our own state; but through the continued mercy and condescension of the Lord our God, we may be bowed in fear and reverence before Him; and daily put up our prayers for help to fight the good fight of faith; that we may know Satan to be put down and trodden under foot.

12th. Feeling a draft in my mind to attend Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting, I crossed the river this morning. The Select Quarter was small, only five men and perhaps eight or nine women of their own members, were present.

15th. The meeting held this morning was, I think, unusually large, many young people attending and sitting in a solid manner. I felt drawn to speak of the different periods of life,—youth and old age,—and the unspeakable comfort and peace of being able to look to the close, with humble trust of being admitted into the everlasting kingdom of the Redeemer. To be thus favored, it is important to lay the foundation in early life; and the visitations of the Holy Spirit are extended to young people, even when they have few opportunities of receiving instruction from mingling with religious friends. The Lord condescends to commune with them, and to show them his blessed will, in relation to those things which are wrong, and his controversy is with. If they obey, He gives power to resist temptations, and turn the back upon them, and thus prepares them to perform his will. It seemed to me, the Lord was regarding our present low state, and would visit sons and daughters, and bring them out, to exalt and honor his name and cause; and raise us up as out of the miry clay, and make his glory to shine among us, as in days of old, as in former generations.

16th. Was held our Meeting for Sufferings; which united with a concise declaration of the rise and faith of our Society, designed for insertion in the American Encyclopedia, printing in New York. Also, a minute, setting forth our disunity with all wars, fightings and bloodshed; the use of violent means to obtain the freedom of the slaves, or for putting down or setting up governments; and also with certain letters and paragraphs, inserted in some newspapers, which are opposed to our principles on these points, and which essays were written in the style of Friends; all which we deny. The minute was directed to be printed and circulated.

Fourth month 8th. The anticipation of our approaching Yearly Meeting, has been, at times, attended with feelings of much concern. There has been a great stripping of members of enlarged experience, and understanding in the management of the affairs of the church, under the direction of the great Head. There is a spirit seeking to lay waste Friends, who cannot unite with new principles and practices, or a dividing, scattering disposition. Yet I believe the Lord has not forgotten to be gracious, but as we are brought low, and keep sensible that we can do nothing without Him, He helps us, and gives a little renewal of our faith.

This morning, in our meeting, the Master was pleased, by his quickening power, to renew my faith, and to raise me up to set forth the doctrine of his immediate guidance, protection, and regenerating work by his Holy Spirit; both to reprove the world of sin, of righteousness and judgment; and as it is submitted to, its leading into all truths, its taking of his mysteries and showing them to his obedient children, and bringing all things to remembrance, whatsoever He has said unto us. Our Savior said, “If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him.” I felt particularly for our dear young Friends, desiring that the things of the world may not be permitted to separate them from the love of God in Christ Jesus; but that they may steadily take up the cross, deny themselves, and follow Christ in the way He would lead them. The renewed evidence that the Lord's mercy and goodness are not withdrawn, comforted and cheered my mind, and lifted up my head, in holy hope and trust, that He would continue to help in every time of need.

13th. Our Meeting for Sufferings, held today, was unusually small. I thought there was a feeling of unity among us, in finishing our business, preparatory to the Yearly Meeting near at hand.

14th. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was also small; yet we were favored with holy help; under which I was enabled to set forth the qualification and authority of a minister of Christ. Unsound doctrine could not be gospel ministry, nor could sentiments, sound in themselves, but declared without Divine authority, have a baptizing effect upon the audience, and be received as the preaching of the gospel of Christ. While it is needful to guard against creaturely activity, it is also necessary to be aware of the suggestions of Satan, who would induce the timid, cautious ones, to hold back from their duty; and thereby lose their strength, and the meeting be deprived of what the Head of the church designed for its comfort and help.

16th. The Yearly Meeting convened, which was large, and over the minds of Friends, the wing of Ancient Kindness was spread. There was an ingathering to Christ, and solemnity and weight were felt. The representatives were called; the minutes of their appointment, and one of the reports were read.

In the afternoon, the minutes of the Meeting for Sufferings were brought before the meeting, and much united with. On the 17th, the meeting entered upon the consideration of the Queries and Answers; during which, many Friends were led into a lively exercise, on account of the subordinate meetings and their members; and ability was given to administer counsel and warning upon many points, and to encourage Friends to greater dedication to the cause of Truth, and the discharge of their religious duties. It was a favored season; so that many thought they had not attended such a sitting; and others, that it resembled some of former days. It was cause of thankfulness, that the Master condescended to our low estate, and showed that He had not forsaken us. 19th of the month the meeting closed.

Fifth month 3rd. I went to the Arch Street Meeting, and sat a good while in poverty. The danger of being deceived in our estimate of our own condition, and by the flatteries and good opinions of others, so as to settle down in ease, and unconcernedness, under the belief that our spiritual state is better than it is in the sight of the Lord, was brought before me. As time was steadily passing away, and carrying all of as nearer to the end of our pilgrimage, and the eternal world, it was of the greatest moment we should seriously lay it to heart; and, above all things, be desirous that the Lord would give us a true sight of ourselves, and bring us under a fervent concern to have our garments washed, and the heart cleansed by the baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire; that it may be prepared for the Lord of life and glory to take possession of. “If I wash you not,” said Christ to Peter, “you have no part in me.” “He that believes and is baptized, shall he saved.” I felt strong desires that every one might be brought to submit to this baptism, and experience a right sense of his state; and that the Lord would accomplish his work of sanctification in every one. I hoped that the awakening power of the Holy Spirit attended, and raised desires after righteousness; and that when the end comes, we may be found clothed with the pure, white linen, so as to join the just, who surround the holy throne.

5th. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders was held. Through mercy, we were a little helped, and departed under a sense of the Lord's goodness to us, unworthy as we are of the least of all his favors.

Seventh month 18th. I felt lonely in the midst of company; which tended to turn my thoughts inward to feel after the Lord, who in his merciful condescension, gave me a quickening sense of his presence; which tendered and filled my heart with gratitude to Him for his unmerited, merciful regard. How little and low, and as nothing, do we feel when He condescends to appear. This is the knowledge of God, and of Jesus Christ, through his blessed Spirit, that is life eternal to the soul, and far beyond all opinions that man forms, without the immediate manifestation of his Spirit.

22nd. Our meeting at Orange Street is greatly reduced. After sitting a long time; the constraining power of Christ led me to break the silence on behalf of those who at times are brought to long for a knowledge of the right way of the Lord, and to obtain reconciliation with Him, and a sense of his Divine approbation. It is He who begets these hungerings after righteousness; and He alone can satisfy them; and as He is obeyed in all his requirings, He will meet the penitent, humbled soul, with the reward of sweet peace.

23rd. Our little Select Preparative Meeting was held this morning, with evidences of fellowship, and desire for the right support of the cause of Christ.

Eighth month 20th. For weeks past the enemy seems to have been let loose upon me; and at times I greatly desired his presentations might be removed from me. This dispensation gave me a renewed sense of my own nothingness, and of the great need of steady watchfulness and prayer to the Lord, for his merciful regard and preservation. The case of the Apostle Paul, to whom was given a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan sent to buffet him, lest he should be exalted above measure, was lately brought into remembrance; and that he had besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from him; but the Lord said unto him, “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness;” which gave me the hope the present trial had been permitted for my humiliation.

31st. My wife and daughter, who went to Cresson, on the Alleghany Mountain, about two weeks ago, returned this afternoon. Their safe arrival, and the improvement of my wife's health, afforded me much satisfaction. The change to the atmosphere on an elevated point of mountainous country, seemed to effect a decided alteration in my wife's feelings; which was cause of thankfulness to our Heavenly Father; both for her release from very distressing sensations, and for our comfort in the prospect of her health being restored, so as to enable her to pursue her duties, and contribute to the happiness of her family. May it please the compassionate Shepherd of his flock, to continue his blessing to rest upon us, and keep us on every hand.

Ninth month 2nd. Our first-day morning meeting was a favored opportunity; my wife being engaged in testimony to the continued merciful visitations of the Lord to the souls He has made, even to the rebellious. I was drawn to kneel in vocal supplication to the Father of mercies; to regard with compassion our low estate, who have no power to keep ourselves; and when the enemy comes like a flood to destroy the souls which God has made, He would in renewed mercy lift up his Holy Spirit as a standard against him; warn us of his temptations, and enable us to resist them; that we may glorify Him who alone is forever worthy. These acts are very humiliating to me, and are entered upon with fear and reverence.

Eleventh month 12th. Rode to Concord, and sat with the Ministers and Elders in their Quarterly Meeting. Next day the Quarterly Meeting for worship and discipline, was a solid, favored time; in which the gospel stream flowed impressively upon many hearts. My sister, H. Rhoads, closed in solemn supplication. I believe it was a season of the renewal of strength and refreshment to the livingly exercised and rightly gathered members. On the 14th, we went to our friend Charles Downing's, and lodged, in order to be at Cain Quarter.

15th. In the select meeting, after the Queries and Answers were gone through, I felt engaged to speak on the efficacy of faith; that it was not only the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen, but by it, the Lord's children in all ages, obtained the victory over their enemies within and without; and as we keep this faith, looking to the Lord alone for preservation and deliverance, under the many afflictions that may attend us, He will arise and carry us safely through. Above all, said the apostle, taking the shield of faith. We have had many extraordinarily gifted men and women among us, and perhaps, have been confiding improperly in them; but they have been removed from the church militant, and our dependance must be turned to, and placed upon the Lord alone. In his time He can again give gifts to sons and daughters, and qualify them for his service; and beautify the house of his glory where his honor dwells.

The Quarterly Meeting convened next day. I was silent in both meetings. It was distressing to see so many young people leaving the house, as the partitions were closing; and some of the members not returning for some time; even after a messenger had been sent to desire them to come in. It is discouraging that so little effect seemed to follow the affectionate labor bestowed upon them by exercised servants, and ministers of the gospel of Christ.

18th. The different reports of the men sent by Moses to search the land of Canaan, are descriptive of the different voices there are in Christendom, on the subject of religion; producing their respective effects upon the people. Those who made false reports were not permitted to enter the promised land; by whom the people were discouraged, and though entreated by Caleb and Joshua, would not go up and take possession of it; but, refusing to obey the will of the Lord, they were turned into the wilderness, as many now are, in a spiritual sense. When they found what awaited them for their disobedience, they determined to go up in their own wills; but having taken the government into their own hands, many were slain by their enemies, who met and destroyed them; and the rest were turned back, to perish in their wilderness abode. So it seems to me, that such as disregard the voice of the Holy Spirit in their hearts, and refuse to obey the Lord's will, are left in a bewildered condition, and fail to find the state of rest and peace which those do who go forward at the Lord's bidding. They are left in a way to be destroyed, if they continue unwilling to receive the Savior, when He shall again visit their souls with the offers of his mercy and saving light.

Twelfth month 2nd. This has been a day of deep proving, and fears. In the afternoon meeting, a warning was held forth to those who are at ease; neglecting their day's work, and the calls of Divine grace in the heart. Our Savior said, “That many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven; but the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness;” those who have had many invitations of the Grace of God, but after having these favors, have put off a compliance with the Divine call, to a period at which they may think it will suit their convenience; while they know not at what hour the Son of Man may come to call them to judgment. Some comfort was handed to the suffering seed, who are bearing heavy burdens; who are let down into low places; and under a sense of their nothingness, and the dangers that surround them, are crying to the Lord for protection against the assaults of the evil one.

17th. After a visit to West-town; I returned with some cold, and have since been unwell; affected with dizziness, and some oppression. It seemed like the gradual breaking down of the tabernacle; in which my sight, and hearing, and nervous system, are giving way; and my thoughts were directed towards the end of my pilgrimage. I was brought to a very low estimate of myself; craving that the Lord's mercy might be extended to me, a poor unworthy creature; and that my sins, even the sins of my youth, might be forgiven, and washed away by my dear and holy Redeemer; I having nothing of my own to rely upon. My feelings were peaceful, in the midst of poverty and great unworthiness.

1861, First month 16th. This morning we have received the affecting intelligence of the decease of our beloved and honorable brother, Joseph Rhoads, after about thirty-six hours sickness. He was a man of remarkable uprightness in his dealings; showing much consideration for the necessities of those employed by him. He was possessed of good understanding, and fond of useful reading; and was strictly careful in his conversation to avoid saying anything to the prejudice of others; so that he was more noted for his silence in company, and in meetings for discipline, than for much speaking. As an elder, though his diffidence withheld him from much activity in that important station, yet he gave evidence that he was sound in principle, and steadfast in supporting the testimonies and discipline of our religious Society. He accompanied me in several religious visits, and always maintained much equanimity, and a solid exemplary deportment, wherever we went; expressing his comfort when meetings were got through, under feelings of the authority and help of the Head of the church.

Second month 2nd. Our Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders, was very small; nine or ten of the members being absent; and though I believe Divine help was with us, the feeling of the state of the meeting was trying.

4th. The meetings for worship and for discipline, were pretty satisfactory; some of the ministry being lively.

7th. I attended Abington Quarterly Meeting; which was smaller than I expected, considering how many citizens have removed to Germantown. I was brought into near sympathy with some in the meeting, who are baptized into low places, and partake of much discouragement on account of the degeneracy in the present day. I hope the Lord extended a hand of help; and the meeting was ended with prayer for the Lord's continued mercy and preserving power. Some exercise prevailed in the second meeting for the support of our testimonies. I came away with the hope that I had been in my place.

15th. On the 13th and 14th, I attended Salem Quarterly Meeting, held at Woodbury. There were present at the Select Meeting, three men and four women Friends; some being kept away by indisposition. The number of aged, experienced Friends in the stations of minister and elder, and those truly prepared for those stations, has become much reduced in our Yearly Meeting; yet among the young people, we may hope the preparing hand is at work, to fit them for service in the militant church. Friends who are rightly exercised for the cause of Truth, are often brought low; and put up their secret petitions to the Lord of the harvest, that He would send forth laborers into his harvest field. I thought the Master of assemblies helped us, and enabled us to minister to the people. I returned home in the afternoon, with peaceful feelings.

Third month 14th. Attended Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting; in the first part of which, my wife was engaged in humble supplication to the Lord, for the extendings of his Divine help for the burden bearers; and for the gathering of the children. In the meeting for business, I thought it right to revive the injunction of our blessed Lord; “What I say unto you, I say unto all. Watch.” “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation.”

It is not beginning well, and running well for a time; but those who held out to the end, that shall be saved. He also said to one of the churches, “Because you have kept the word of my patience, I also will keep you from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world; to try them that dwell upon the earth.” Satan hates this religious Society, and is trying to lay it waste; but He that sits in the heavens shall laugh; the Lord shall have them in derision who join in this work. I encouraged Friends to keep inward, in their tents, with their eye to the Lord. I believed his hand was stretched out to sons and daughters; whom He was bringing under exercise, to prepare them for his services; and reminded them of the importance of keeping near to one another, and to submit to the work of Divine Grace in the heart; that so they might be washed and sanctified, and justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the spirit of our God. This would unite us together in the bond of peace.

Fifth month 28th. I went to the Northern District, where I was exercised on the importance of learning and practicing patience and resignation to the Divine Will. That as we quietly bore the afflictions and sufferings that come upon us, the Lord would sanctify them to us, and finally turn Satan backward; releasing us from his buffetings and temptations; and causing his own peace and love to flow into our hearts. This would keep out all enmity towards others. And as we were drawing nearer every day to the judgment seat of Christ, we should strive to have our hearts sweetened by his love; and herein the unity of the Spirit would increase among us. We shall never become the Society we were in the beginning, unless all ill-will is cast out, and we show forth the fruits of the Spirit of the Lamb, as Friends did then, under contumely, reproach and persecution, which had a powerful effect to convince others of the truth of their principles; and draw many to join them.

Sixth month 4th. The weather, almost through the whole Spring, had been very changeable; about double the usual depth of rain having fallen. A cloudy, dull atmosphere has been depressing; and with the mournful state of the country, makes every thing around us give the feeling of sadness. War with the Southern States has greatly injured trade and commerce; involving the Government in a great debt; and bringing lack and distress upon many people. Engagements between several small bodies of troops, have been attended with destruction of human life, which administers increased sorrow. Men shooting or cutting one another down, simply to gain the ascendancy, and to drive the survivors from their position, is like the thoughtless cruelty of the beasts; and shows a total absence of all respect for the value of an immortal soul, the design of the Great Creator in giving existence to it, and the inconceivable awfulness of being ushered into his dread presence, either to join the saints in light, or to be condemned to everlasting separation from the joys of his salvation. Civil war has never before been known in this country; how far it may spread, and in what destruction it may involve the inhabitants, we cannot foresee; but at the present time there are few indications that it will be speedily brought to a close. Our hope and trust can be rightly placed in the Lord alone. He only can restrain the wrath of wicked men, defeat their evil designs, and deliver out of their hands his children, who have none in heaven to look to but Him; and dare not resort to the arm of flesh to defend themselves. Friends in this part of the country have been free from any apprehensions of danger, so far; and I think, maintain a state of quietness and watchfulness, so as not to baulk their testimony to the government of the Prince of Peace.

10th. We are sometimes in danger of overvaluing ourselves and our attainments, and of being over-estimated by our kindhearted friends; all of which have their dangerous effects, if not prevented by the daily watch, in the fear of the Lord. This morning, I was particularly abased, under a review of some of the sins of my youth, and the feeling that what I had done in the persuasion of religious duty, when the candle of the Lord shone about me, and opened the way to perform what He required of me, was of but little avail. I felt very much bereft of evidence of Divine regard, so that it was difficult to believe I was an object of the Lord's continued mercy and approbation. But as I have often recommended the essential necessity of experiencing the baptisms of the Holy Ghost and fire, in order to consume thoroughly every impurity, I desired to abide under the present humiliating feelings, and secretly breathed that the Lord would not forsake me; but would cut short the thread of my life, rather than permit Satan to bring reproach by me, upon the blessed truth, as professed by our Society.

It has been a day of close besetment, but this evening secret hope has been felt, that the everlasting arm is still round about, and will sustain and defend me, a poor unworthy one, against the assaults of the enemy; and in unmerited mercy, wash away and pardon my many deviations and shortcomings, through the spirit of judgment and burning, and by the precious blood of the Lamb. We are nothing, Christ is all; and without his immediate help, we can do nothing that is good.

13th. Feeling my mind drawn to the Arch Street Meeting, I went, and through the condescending goodness of the blessed Shepherd, of the sheep, I was enabled to hold forth the language of encouragement to those who love the Lord Jesus; of whom I believed there were many preserved. The testimony of the apostle was revived; that “Tribulation works patience, and patience experience, and experience, hope; and hope makes not ashamed, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts, by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us.” Whatever may be our tribulations, as this love abides in us, we shall not only love God above everything else, but be brought to love all men; so as to desire their salvation. This path, as we keep the faith and patience of the saints, is a glorious path, and will shine more and more unto the perfect day; in which we shall be made victorious over all the temptations of Satan; and be kept to the end, through the intercession of Christ, who bore the cross for our sakes, and is set down at the right hand of the Father, making intercession for us poor unworthy creatures.

Seventh month 3rd. My brother Joseph took me to Chester Meeting. We found a larger company convened than I had expected. My heart was replenished with love, drawing me to visit them; and the language of the Master, and of his disciple was brought before me, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another;” “Little children love one another;” “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren.” The essential importance of having our hearts filled with love to our Heavenly Father, and showing its fruits by keeping his commandments, were opened to the company; with sincere desires that love might increase more and more, and unite them together. The qualification for usefulness in the church, and the happiness of individuals, meetings and neighborhoods, greatly depend upon it. Prayer was offered to the Father of mercies, to watch over and defend us against the temptations of Satan; and enable us to walk in holy fear, and to be instrumental in spreading the kingdom of the Messiah; by living up to, and supporting the principles and testimonies of the gospel.

Attended our Select Preparative Meeting on the 22nd, and our Monthly Meeting on the 24th; in which the usual business of replying to the Queries, was harmoniously attended to. I also attended the North Monthly Meeting, and that held at Arch Street; in which a fresh ability was furnished to preach the gospel, and to labor for the support of our christian testimonies.

Eighth month 11th. At the first-day meeting at Springfield; which was pretty well attended. The doctrine of regeneration, and knowing the Divine influence of the Holy Spirit in the heart, was preached, to those present. It was shown that as we live and walk in it, the heavenly nature of the Spirit of Christ will subdue our passions and propensities; and enable us to love our enemies, to pray for them that despitefully use and persecute us; that so we may be the children of our Father which is in heaven; who makes his sun to shine on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. True christians cannot draw the sword against any, but would seek the good of all, and to be instruments for spreading the kingdom of Christ in the earth.

12th. With our brother and sister, J. and G. E., my wife and I, left home for Concord, to attend the Quarterly Meeting; where we stopped at our dear friend's N. Sharpless; and then attended the Meeting of Ministers and Elders.

13th. The forepart of the Quarterly Meeting was silent, except two short communications. Feelings of distress prevailed over many; the spring of Divine life being closed by some cause. The usual business was transacted, and towards the close, I felt constrained to advert to our testimony to the peaceable reign of the Messiah; and to show the essential importance of maintaining love and unity amongst ourselves, if we desire to bear this testimony faithfully, before the world. Even under a former dispensation, it was said, “Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard, that went down to the skirts of his garments. As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore.” We have need of individual examination, and watchfulness, to guard us against giving way to any spirit or practice, that would lay waste the Society or hurt its members.

22nd. Being prevented from attending my own, I went to the Arch Street Meeting; which was very small, the weather being wet; but the comforting influence of Divine Good was spread over us. “Why are you cast down, oh, my soul; and why are you disquieted within me! Hope you in God, for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.” These expressions of the Psalmist were brought before me, as applicable to the low state of some present; and in simplicity and godly sincerity, I revived them, and was led to encourage all to keep the faith which had been given to them; and the Lord who knows our impotency, will keep us by his invisible power, and defend us against all the devices of the enemy. “As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people, from henceforth even forever.” A feeling of humble, childlike tenderness seemed to be spread over us at the close of the meeting, which had a uniting effect, and was a sweet reward.

Ninth month 9th. This morning, I went to my friends S. and B. Nicholson, at Haddonfield, and attended their Monthly Meeting. The necessity of bearing patiently the light afflictions, which are but for a moment, that we may be humbled, emptied of all self-confidence, and brought to see that we are nothing, whatever may have been our gifts, and past experience, was revived in my mind; and believing that there were those among us, who were enduring suffering, and watching unto prayer for their own preservation, and for the spreading of the Redeemer's kingdom, I was induced to address them in the sympathy and fellowship of the gospel; reminding them, that it had been the lot of the Lord's children in all generations. The “fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud, and in the sea; and did all eat the same spiritual meat, and did all drink the same spiritual drink; for they drank of that Rock that followed them; and that Rock was Christ.” As we are baptized by one Spirit into one body, and made to drink into one Spirit, we experience the love and fellowship of the gospel, to circulate as from vessel to vessel. Poverty and emptiness had been my feelings in coming to the meeting, and in sitting there; but I hoped there was something of the springing up of Divine life, and that we were a little cheered together.

Eleventh month. In contemplating the trials and overturnings to which our religious Society has been subjected for many years in this country, I was made to believe a few days since, that the gracious Shepherd was still near to us, and that the time was not very far off, when He would go through his flock, and renew the visitations of his love to the younger members. That He would bestow gifts upon them, to be occupied in his church; and prepare and send forth servants to proclaim and spread the doctrines of the gospel, and his blessed cause, from sea to sea; and from the rivers to the ends of the earth. Hereby the beauty, and strength, and influence of our Society, in this Yearly Meeting, and in this city, will be restored; and a body of solid and deeply experienced men and women, it appeared to me, would be again raised up as standard bearers, and watchmen upon the walls of Zion. May the Lord hasten it in his time and way; and enable us to continue to bear patiently the sufferings that remain for us to endure; for our own sakes, and for one another, whatever they may be.

4th. The Quarterly Meeting for Discipline, was a season of favor. The spring of gospel ministry was afresh opened; in which several were made partakers; and the open service was closed with prayer, that He, who in mercy had visited us in early days, and been with us all our life, unto this day, would continue to watch over us, warn us of surrounding dangers, and deliver us from them; and that He would visit the young people, and raise up instruments in his blessed cause; to join in spreading the kingdom of his dear Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, from sea to sea, and from the rivers to the ends of the earth. Much weight and solemn quiet continued throughout both meetings; and Friends spoke of it to one another as a time of comfort and encouragement.

Having received an invitation from our dear friend, Martha Wistar, to accompany S. and B. Nicholson, in a visit to her, at her residence, near Salem, N. Jersey, on the 11th, my dear wife and I went to Haddonfield; hoping that the ride and visit would be reviving and invigorating to my wife's health, which had been in a precarious state for several years.

On the 12th, we rode down to Martha Wistar's; my wife conversed very cheerfully, appearing to enjoy the ride, and remarking on the beauty of the country, as we passed through it.

Next day, the 13th, we all attended the Quarterly Meeting of Ministers and Elders held in Salem; towards the close of which, after a Friend had spoken to one of the Queries, my wife made some remarks in unison with what had been said; and then added; that during the time we had been sitting together, she had dwelt much on the language, “Men ought always to pray and not to faint.” That while she had no unity with the spirit of activity that was so much abroad in the present day, which would lead to the repetition of mere words; she believed the state of the church called for deep indwelling, and travail of spirit, before the Lord; to this she encouraged all, and said she believed there were some struggling ones there who were silently pleading, as at the Master's feet, for preservation; begging for themselves and for the church. The Lord regards such as these, and would regard them. They wear their sackcloth underneath, and that is right; and such were the salt of the earth. And although discouragement might so abound, that some who were so exercised, might conclude they were among the hindermost of the flock, or might even doubt whether they were of the flock of Christ, yet as they struggled to maintain the warfare, preservation would be experienced. That it was in the night season, Jacob wrestled with the angel; and it was declared of him, “As a prince, have you power with God, and have prevailed.” She mentioned what a mercy it was, that we have a High Priest, who is touched with a feeling of our infirmities; and she wished to encourage all, to persevere in this deep, inward, fervent prayer. She did believe, that as such an exercise was maintained by those who mourned for the desolation of Zion, judges would be raised up, as at the first, and counsellors as at the beginning: adding “It is my firm belief, and faith, that it will be so; though I may not live to see it, yet it will be so.”

We returned to Martha Wistar's, and dined; and towards evening went to S. D.'s, where we took tea, and passed the evening in cheerful conversation, and then returned to our lodgings. We retired at usual bed-time, when my dear wife seemed as well as she had been for some time; but a little after two o'clock, she awoke with uncomfortable feelings, and appeared unable to bear a recumbent position. Various means were tried to renew the impeded circulation, but in vain; and she quietly expired without any apparent pain or struggle, in about an hour after she first showed difficulty of breathing.

To me, the breaking of a tie, that made us one flesh, and in which we were affectionately united in the one Spirit, and fellowship of the pure gospel of Christ, was a deeply affecting and unexpected event. But though deeply afflicted, the Lord was merciful, in sustaining my poor soul above the billows; and enabling me to look to Him for support and preservation, now my most faithful companion, and cheerful, experienced counsellor and comforter was taken away, in the ordering of his inscrutable wisdom.

No one who has not had such a valuable and closely united helpmeet, through many spiritual trials, can be sensible of the loss I sustained, and the depth of affliction into which I have been plunged by the removal of my dear wife. She was a mother in Israel; a cherisher of the children in the early buddings of the fruits of the Spirit, in their tender minds; and an encourager and strengthener of the weary traveler, bearing burdens for Zion's sake, and the support and spreading of the Redeemer's cause of truth and righteousness in the earth, in our own Society; and also as she came into their company, among those of other religious denominations.

A messenger was sent to Philadelphia next morning, to convey the sorrowful intelligence to my brothers, and by them to our beloved children; to whom it was a great shock. Several came down to us that evening, and next morning we accompanied the remains in the steamboat, to the city; where we met others at our house, clothed with sadness. On landing at the wharf, I recollected that I went away, as it were, full, and now returned empty, as to any feeling of earthly enjoyment. As I rode down the street, loaded with deep affliction, a voice passed through my mind, as if uttered by one of the heavenly company, “She is among the glorified in light.” This was a most quickening salutation, and while it gave evidence that the redeemed spirit of my precious, departed one, was partaking of the joys of God's salvation, with the countless multitude with palms in their hands, of which she had often borne testimony in her gospel ministry; it also showed that through the same unmerited mercy and condescension, I was not overlooked or forgotten in my deep distress.

It raised thanksgiving and praise to the Lord my God, who had been with me all my life-long; fed me and kept me unto this day; in the hope that He would still condescend to be with me, and keep my head above the billows, and preserve me as in the hollow of his omnipotent Hand, so that I may be enabled to fill up the measure of suffering and duty that He may allot; know all my sins to be forgiven, and my garments washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb, and be accepted at last through Him, my gracious Redeemer.

The interment took place on second-day the 18th of the Eleventh month. Great interest and love for her were manifested, in the very large company, who convened at that time and viewed her placid, sweet countenance, over which many tears were shed, in the remembrance of her christian spirit, and fervent labors for the good of souls. Before the company left the house, several Friends, well acquainted with her, bore testimony to her religious standing and worth, as a servant of Christ; who neither turned to the right hand nor to the left, but faithfully discharged her duty to her Lord and Master, for the good of souls, and the support and spreading of his blessed cause.

1862. Many deep baptisms have I passed through, and feelings of great loneliness, since the death of my beloved and valuable wife; who was a great support and comfort to me, in our united travail for the salvation of our own souls, and of our dear children, as well as of others. But though greatly stripped at times, the Lord's mercy and compassion towards a poor creature, have not been withdrawn. I have been enabled to put up breathings of spirit to Him for preservation to the end.

Our Yearly Meeting held in the Fourth month this year, was often favored with solemnity and religious weight. The first sitting was attended with feelings of strong desire for the restoration of unity through the Yearly Meetings. Friends were much tendered, particularly the young people; and one or two expressed their hope of the return of true fellowship. The presence of the Great Head of the church was remarkably felt over the meeting.

Fifth month. Feeling my mind drawn into sympathy with Friends of Abington Quarter, I attended that meeting, and in the love of the gospel, was enabled to visit the tribulated members; who, like their brethren and sisters elsewhere, have to drink of the cup of suffering and fear, for the good cause' sake. I believe holy help was extended, and we were baptized by the one Spirit into one body, and were enabled to thank our Holy Helper, and to take a little fresh courage.

Conclusion

The last entry made by my brother in his diary, was that dated Fifth month, 1862. His sight had been long impaired by cataract in one eye, and the incipient stage of the same disease in the other. The loss sustained by the death of his beloved and valuable wife, though borne with christian patience and resignation, as the infirmities of old age pressed upon him, was an ever present source of sorrow; which, with the irreparable shock given to his nervous system by her sudden and unexpected removal, soon greatly affected his general health. His sight failed rapidly, and it was not long before he was unable to see to read or to write. To one whose mind had always been active, and who had accustomed himself to employ much time in the use of the pen, or in the perusal of books congenial with the tone of his thoughts and feelings, this privation was keenly felt. But as he was thus cut off from some outward sources of mental enjoyment, his attention was more and more withdrawn from external things, and in reverent retirement before the Lord, centered on the inward manifestations of his Spirit. In this deep introversion, he was often brought into low places, and close searching of heart; renewing those humiliating views of himself, of his attainments in the way of holiness, and of his faithfulness in occupying the gifts, and making a right return for the manifold mercies bestowed upon him; of which he often speaks in his Journal. Not, as he said, that he found any thing laid to his charge, or that there was any known duty which he had refused to perform; but such was his sense of the frailty of human nature, and the awfulness of the soul, when unclothed of mortality, being ushered into the immediate presence of infinite and immaculate Purity, that he felt there could be no hope for him, nor for any, but as in immeasurable condescension, an undoubted assurance was granted of acceptance, through that Savior who died for poor, lost man, and whose mercy covered the judgment seat.

Although much restricted by lack of sight, and the continued, though gradual, decline of strength, from going far from home, he continued frequently to attend different meetings in the city, and occasionally visited one or more in the country, at no great distance. It was always a source of satisfaction to him thus to mingle with his friends, to unite with them in waiting on the Lord, and in seeking for ability to render to Him acceptable worship in spirit and in truth.

The Friends of the respective meetings, to which he belonged, testify respecting him and his services during that period, that, “His ministry, though not frequent, continued to be lively and weighty; sometimes inviting the young to take the yoke of Christ upon them, so that they might secure the proper enjoyment of the things of this world, and a well-grounded hope of admittance into the company of saints and angels hereafter, and calling on his fellow members, not to rest satisfied with anything short of complete sanctification; that being grafted into Christ, the living Vine, they might be made fruit-bearing branches, and through the renewings of the Holy Ghost, bring forth much fruit, to the glory of God the Father. In the Sowings of gospel love towards his fellow men, and especially towards those of the same household of faith, he often expressed his fervent desire for their establishment and growth in the unchangeable Truth; on several occasions remarking, he felt that if he had but bodily ability, and it was his Master's will, he would cheerfully go forth once more through the Society, to preach the glad tidings of salvation.” The last time he got out to meeting, was in the afternoon of first-day the 30th of the Twelfth month, 1866. A few days after, he rode to the residence of two women Friends, members of the same meeting with himself, who had been sometime confined by indisposition, where he was engaged in the ministry.

This was the last visit he made. The next morning, First month 6th, 1867, he was seized with great difficulty of breathing, and from that time the disease that finally terminated his life, was rapidly developed. As the circulation became more and more impeded, the difficulty of breathing increased; and about the middle of the Third month, he became unable to bear a recumbent position, so that for more than two weeks he remained almost constantly in a sitting position, enduring great weariness and oppression. The remedies resorted to were, however, so far successful in relieving the severity of his symptoms, as to allow him again to recline in bed. Though free from acute pain, his suffering was great, and was borne without murmuring, he often remarking, that though he found the infirmities of the flesh as much as he could well endure, they were doubtless permitted in Divine wisdom, and were intended for his further refinement.

During his long confinement, he continued to maintain a lively interest in the welfare of our religious Society; manifesting on different occasions, the earnest travail of his soul, that Friends might be drawn more nearly together in the fellowship of the gospel, and be willing faithfully to support the doctrines and testimonies, which he believed the great Head of the Church had raised up the Society to exemplify to the world. He was frequently visited by many of his beloved fellow members, ministers and others, and many precious opportunities were thus afforded for retirement before the Lord; and not unfrequently he was clothed with ability to minister to those present; as were others to speak in the language of comfort and encouragement to him. On more than one occasion he expressed his earnest desire that nothing might be said by way of commendation; nor, unless they felt Divinely authorized, should any speak as though his salvation was secured; for he felt that the watch and the warfare must be continued to the end, if the crown immortal was, through mercy, obtained. Notwithstanding these humble views of himself, and the care he manifested not to presume on any past experiences, he on more than one occasion intimated that his gracious Master had given him the assurance, that when done with time, he should be admitted into everlasting rest.

During the time of holding the Yearly Meeting in the Fourth month of 1867, he was frequently brought under much exercise. The separation from his friends, when thus gathered to transact the affairs of the church, a work which had long been dear and deeply interesting to him, was keenly felt, but was borne with patience and resignation. At different times his spirit was bowed in sympathy with his brethren, earnestly desiring that the different important subjects before the meeting might be resulted in the authority of Truth; and rejoicing when he heard of seasons of Divine favor being granted to the assembly.

Two Friends, one of them a minister, having called to see him, after the Yearly Meeting, he manifested that he still cherished the concern he had long felt, for the right education of the children of Friends, by addressing one of them, whom he was told had been appointed on the committee having the oversight of West-town Boarding School; encouraging him to bear in mind, while employed in the business necessary in carrying on the school, that there was matter of more serious importance connected with it; and that if he was concerned to seek for Divine counsel in attending to that, he might himself experience a growth in the Truth; reminding him of the expression of Thomas Scattergood, in the early days of the Institution, “That if Friends were faithful to their principles in conducting it, it was a plantation the Lord would bless.” The minister having addressed him in an encouraging manner, after a little pause, he said in a broken voice, “May the Lord in his unmerited mercy remove and forgive all those things which are contrary to his Divine will; that we may, through mercy, unmerited mercy, know a preparation for an admittance into his kingdom of rest and peace.”

During the last few days of his life, he conversed but little; not only because the oppression made it difficult for him to speak, but his mind appeared to be fixed in the contemplation of the change that awaited him, and in being fervently engaged to be found ready when the summons came.

His decease took place on the morning of the 12th of the Fifth month, 1867, in the 81st year of his age. “Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord, from henceforth; yes says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, and their works do follow them.”

1Elizabeth Robson

Table of Contents

Journal of William Evans Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X

Chapter XI

Chapter XII

Chapter XIII

Chapter XV

Chapter XV

Chapter XVI

Chapter XVII

Chapter XVIII

Chapter XIV

Chapter XX

Chapter XXI

Chapter XXII

Chapter XXIII

Chapter XXIV

Chapter XXV

Chapter XXVI

Chapter XXVII

Chapter XXVIII

Chapter XXIX

Chapter XXX

Chapter XXXI

Chapter XXXII

Chapter XXXIII