The Journal

Of

John Churchman

Originally Entitled:

An Account of the Gospel Labours and Christian Experiences

of that Faithful Minister of Christ

John Churchman

Late of Nottingham, in Pennsylvania

“And they that understand among the people, shall instruct many.” Daniel 11:33.

“Many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.” Daniel 12:4.

* * *

Unabridged from the Friend's Library 1837-1850

by William Evans and Thomas Evans

Formatting & Modernized Spelling by

Jason R. Henderson

To the Reader.

In the perusal of the following pages you will receive a pious man's plain account of his beginning and progress in the weighty work of religion, and in a life devoted to promote the cause of righteousness and the real happiness of mankind.

Having experienced the spiritual baptism which is essential to salvation, and abiding in a state of watchfulness and humility, he became, under the Lord's anointing, a well qualified instrument for the instruction and edification of others in the way of godliness. By attending to the gift of gospel ministry committed to his trust, and performing the duties required of him, he witnessed a growth from stature to stature, and became an upright elder and father in the church, being an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in spirit, in faith and charity.

As the ensuing narrative will be likely to come under the observation of many to whom he was either little known, or wholly a stranger, it seems proper to make known the estimation in which he was held by his brethren in religious society, who have given a full testimony of their Christian unity and fellowship with him, and that his life and conduct adorned the doctrine of the gospel.

The monthly and quarterly meetings who were for many years partakers of his pious example and labours, testify, that:

“Although he was of a weakly constitution, and often infirm, especially in the latter part of his life, yet he appeared to be much devoted to the service of truth and the good of mankind, and gave up his time for that purpose, when he apprehended it was required of him, being favoured with a sufficiency of outward things. We believe he stood loose from the world and its connections, not seeking, but refraining from opportunities which he might have had to get outward riches. He visited neighbouring yearly, quarterly, and other meetings of Friends at times, to his last year, and was truly useful in the discipline of the church, having a valuable gift in that respect, and was a good example in a diligent care to attend all the meetings both for worship and discipline, to which he belonged. He was cautious of being forward in his public appearances, and for the most part exampled us to silence in our meetings at home, especially in the latter part of his time; yet when he did appear in testimony, we think it may be truly said his doctrine dropped as the dew, being lively and edifying to the honest hearted, though close and searching to the careless professors, as well as to the profane and hypocritical.

“The elders who have ruled well are to be accounted honourable, and the remembrance of the fatherly, diligent, humble, upright, honest, and self-denying example of this our deceased friend, as also his various services in our meetings and neighbourhood, remain fresh, and are of a pleasant savour to many minds.”

In confirmation of the truth of which memorial concerning him, many others of his brethren in various places, can freely subscribe.

His deportment was grave and reverent, and his judgment sound and clear, in matters of a spiritual or temporal nature. His disposition being cheerful, he sometimes discovered a turn of pleasantry in conversation, which being circumscribed within due limitations, rendered his company innocently agreeable and instructive.

Being deeply sensible of the weight and solemnity of the gospel ministry, he manifested great circumspection and care, that it might be preserved pure and unblemished from mistaken, or false appearances in himself or others. In the exercise of his gift, his declarations were plain, familiar, and concise, accompanied with a fervent concern that his fellow believers and all others might be brought to the sure knowledge of the teachings of the Holy Spirit, given to direct and lead into true devotion of heart, and the practice of self-denial, consistent with the doctrine and precepts of Christ Jesus our Lord, for the prevalence and enlargement of whose peaceable kingdom, he was earnestly engaged. With a degree of propriety he might have adopted the language of an eminent minister in the early age of the Christian church, “Knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ has shown me; moreover I will endeavour that you may be able after my decease, to have these things in remembrance; for we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

What he has written is recommended to your perusal and consideration, in which if you are seriously attentive, and not superficial, you may under the divine blessing, receive profitable instruction in righteousness, which is the intent of the publication.

Philadelphia, Ninth month, 1779.

Chapter I.

His early sense of the impressions of divine love, and spiritual conflicts in his youth—Death of his father—His marriage—The settlement of a monthly meeting at Nottingham—His joining with other Friends in visiting families—Appointed an elder, and first appearance in the ministry, etc.

I WAS born in the township of Nottingham, in the county of Chester, and province of Pennsylvania, on the 4th day of the sixth month, 1705, and was tenderly brought up in the profession of the truth. My parents, John and Hannah Churchman, were diligent attenders of religious meetings, both on the first and other days of the week, and encouragers of their children in that practice, which is certainly a duty in parents, and often owned by the visitations of divine love, even to those who are very young in years, of which I am a living witness. I early felt reproof for bad words and actions, yet knew not from where it came, until about the age of eight years, as I sat in a small meeting, the Lord by his heavenly love and goodness, overcame and tendered my heart, and by his glorious light discovered to me the knowledge of himself.

I saw myself and what I had been doing, and what it was which had reproved me for evil, and was made in the secret of my heart to confess that childhood and youth, and the foolish actions and words to which they are prepense, are truly vanity. Yet blessed forever be the name of the Lord! in his infinite mercy and goodness he clearly informed me, that if I would mind the discoveries of his pure light for the future, what I had done in the time of my ignorance, he would wink at and forgive; and the stream of love which filled my heart with solid joy at that time, and lasted for many days, is beyond all expression.

I was early taught to think differently from such who hold the perdition of infants, and am since confirmed in believing that the sin of our first parents is not imputed to us, though as their offspring, we are by nature prone to evil, which brings wrath, until by the discovery of light and grace, we are taught to distinguish between good and evil, and in that divine light which shows the evil, we feel the enmity against the evil and the author thereof, the wicked one. If we afterwards commit those things which we saw to be evil, we then fall under condemnation and wrath, and here every soul that sins, must die to the sin he has committed, and witness a being raised by the power of God, into newness of life in Christ Jesus, not to live to himself, to fulfil the will of the flesh; but to live unto Him who died to take away sin.

My father sent me about three miles from home on an errand; and on my return, the colt which accompanied the mare I rode, ran away to a company of wild horses, which were feeding not far from the path I was in. My father bid me go back to the place with speed, that it might follow the mare home. I went, and found the horses feeding on a piece of ground where the timber trees had been killed perhaps about two or three years. Before I went among the dead trees, a mighty wind arose, which blew some down, and many limbs flew about. I stood still with my mind turned inward to the Lord, who I believed was able to preserve me from hurt; and passed among the trees without fear, save the fear of the Lord, which fills the hearts of his humble depending children with love that is stronger than death. I found the colt, and returned home with great bowedness of heart and thankfulness to the Lord, for his mercy and goodness to me.

It was my practice, when I went to bed, to examine how I had spent the past day, and to endeavour to feel the presence of the Lord near, which for some considerable time I preferred to all other things, and I found this practice a great help to sleep sweetly, and by long experience I can recommend it to children, and those also of riper age.

I suppose that no one living knew my condition; for I delighted to keep hidden, yet was quick to observe the conduct of others. I remember a person was once at my father's, who spoke about religious matters with an affected tone, as if he was a good man; and when he mounted his horse to go away, taking a dislike to some of his motions, he called him an ugly dumb beast, with an accent which bespoke great displeasure, and grieved me much. I believed that a man whose mind was sweetened with divine love, would not speak wrathfully, or diminutively, even of the beasts of the field, which were given to man for his use; and I relate this instance as a warning to be careful of giving offence to the little ones.

Notwithstanding I had been favoured as before mentioned, yet as I grew in years, I was much given to play, and began to delight again in several things, for which I had before been reproved, and by the divine witness in my mind was still brought under judgment for; but having lost my innocence, I endeavoured through fear to fly from the voice of the holy Spirit in my own heart. The enemy persuaded me, that I could never be restored to my former state, because I had sinned against so great knowledge, or if I was, that the judgment through which I must pass, would be intolerable, so that I had better be cheerful, and take my ease and delight. When I was about nine years old, my father sent me to school to learn to read, having been taught to know my letters and spell a little at home, in which I took great delight, and thereby diverted myself from feeling pain of mind for the great loss of my innocence which I had sustained. Although the man by whom I was taught, was poor and sat in his loom, being a weaver, while the children read to him, I improved very fast, and he soon put me to writing, and finding my capacity as ripe as is common in boys of that age, he began to teach me arithmetic. But my gracious Lord still favoured me with conviction, his spirit bearing witness against me, and in mercy he visited me with a sore fit of sickness, and by his rod of correction brought me a little more to myself. This was in the fore part of the winter, when I was between nine and ten years of age, and in the following spring I had a relapse of the same disorder. Thus by outward correction with sickness and inward judgment, he was pleased to draw me to himself, which caused me to renew my covenant with him, and I hoped never more to stray from him to follow lying vanities, whose sweets I had experienced to be exceeding bitterness in the end. I had taken great delight from a child to play with whistles and pipes, made of the bark of small branches of trees, and of straws of wheat and rye; but now it grieved me to observe children delight therein, and I ventured to tell my mind to some of them concerning such things.

Man is distinguished from other creatures by his voice; and by varying the breath together with the orderly motion of tongue and lips, that voice is made to convey the ideas of the mind and thoughts of the heart to his fellow-creatures. As he was created to glorify his Maker, the use of his voice should be directed to promote his glory among men, whether in things natural or spiritual, that is of this life, or that which is to come. Music as now commonly used, and whistling and singing, have no such tendency; but rather divert the mind from what it ought to be employed about, and are therefore a waste of precious time, for which man must be accountable. If this were enough regarded, instead of music, whistling, and singing merry, foolish and profane songs, many would have occasion to lament and weep for their mis-spent time. I leave this as a caution to parents, to beware of indulging their dear children in anything which may impress their tender minds with a desire after music, or other improper diversions; but that instead thereof, by living in the pure fear of the Lord, and near the Spirit of truth in their own hearts, they may by example and precept, direct the minds of their offspring to attend to the voice of Him who called to Samuel in days of old, and remains to be the Teacher of his people in this age; may his holy name be magnified forever and ever!

I retained my care and circumspection for some time; but through unwatchfulness and a desire for play, which led into lightness and forgetfulness, I lost this state before I was twelve years of age; and though the Lord was near, and followed me by his reproof, in order to bring me under judgment, I fled from it as much as I could. I let in a belief, that as I had been favoured to taste in so wonderful a manner, “of the good word of life, and powers of the world to come, and had so shamefully fallen away, there remained for me no more sacrifice for sin; but a fearful looking for of judgment, and fiery indignation,” which as I thought, burned in me to that degree that I was afraid to be alone, for it seemed to be loudly proclaimed in me, that whether I ate, or drank, waked, or slept, I was accursed. When alone, I abhorred myself; but when in company, I used my utmost endeavours to hide my condition by being cheerful and arch in my discourse, and was thought by most young people to have a knack, as they called it, at jesting and witty turns; yet even in this time, I entertained such a value for religion, that I was not willing to disclose my situation, lest I should be a reproach thereto, or discourage others from seeking happiness. When night came and I went to bed, no tongue can express the anguish I felt. I was afraid to lay awake, and afraid to desire sleep, lest I should be cut off from the land of the living, and my portion appointed in utter darkness. I so far neglected my learning, that when about thirteen years old, I could read but poorly, though once a ready reader. I was not willing that good Friends should take notice of me, or look me steadily in the face; for I thought they would discern my wickedness, and it would be a trouble to them, or their reproving me would add to my distress. I seemed to be left without any power to resist what I knew to be evil, and being ashamed that I had so lost my little learning, I sought to divert myself by endeavouring to regain it. My former genius and delight returned, and when about fifteen years of age, I had made great improvement, not only in reading, but in writing, arithmetic, and several branches of the mathematics, and began to value myself thereon, and so got over the convictions of the divine Witness, which spoke trouble in me. During this time I was diligent in attending meetings, hoping at seasons that the Lord would condescend once more to visit me; for a saying of an eminently pious man was revived in my remembrance, “That if there remained a desire in the heart after redemption, as it was kept to, the Lord would again assuredly visit such in his own time.”

I was therefore fearful of neglecting meetings, lest I might miss of the good intended for me; yet the subtle working of the power of darkness was very great, suggesting to me that all things came by nature, and that there was no God, no heaven, no devil, no punishment for evil, religion a jest, and painful care about futurity a silly whim, propagated to deprive people of pleasure. But blessed be the Lord! he preserved me from this snare; for while I felt his judgments for sin, I believed in his being and holiness; and I am indeed fully of the mind, that no man can be an atheist before he acts contrary to knowledge, when, to allay the horror and anguish of mind he feels for the commission of sin, he closes in with this temptation. At other times, the same subtle power would tempt me to despair of mercy, which, if given way to, would lead to distraction; but the hand of the Lord was underneath, though for my disobedience he allowed me to remain in the wilderness and to dwell as among fiery serpents, until he had wasted that disposition in me which lusted after forbidden things.

In this state I continued until I was about nineteen years of age, and as I was one day walking to meeting, thinking on my forlorn condition, and remembering the bread in my heavenly Father's house, of which I had partaken when I was a dutiful child, and that by straying from him, and spending my portion, I had been eight years in grievous need, I inwardly cried, if you are pleased again to visit me, I beseech you O Lord, visit my body with sickness, or pain, or whatever you may please, so that the will of the old man may be slain, and every thing in me that your controversy is against, that I may be made a sanctified vessel by your power; spare only my life, until my redemption is wrought, and my peace made with you!

About this time, in the tenth month, 1724, my father died, which was a great loss to our whole family; and as he had allotted me to live with and take care of my mother, it became my duty to keep mostly at home. I spent nearly a year in the condition above mentioned; often out of hope of ever attaining to the state I had witnessed when very young; but in the fall of the year after I had arrived to the age of twenty years; it pleased the Lord to remember me, who had been an exile, in captivity under the old taskmaster in Egypt spiritually, and by his righteous judgments mixed with unspeakable mercies, to make way for my deliverance. I was visited with a sore fit of sickness, which in a few days so fully awakened me, that I had no hope of being again entrusted with health. My misspent time, and all my transgressions were brought to my remembrance, and heavy judgment was upon me for them. I was met with in this narrow path, and could no longer fly from God and his spirit in my conscience, whose sore displeasure I had justly incurred. I had heard of men who had been notorious offenders, and fled from the justice of the law, until they became outlawed; such in a spiritual sense my case appeared to be. I thought I had, as it were, heard an act of grace and free pardon repeatedly proclaimed, if I would return and live uprightly for the future; but in the time of such visitations, I concluded it was only to bring me under judgment and to take me from my pleasure, for that my offences would never be pardoned, and so I had withstood, or neglected those visitations. I now saw clearly, that herein I had followed the lying suggestions of satan, my enemy.

At this time my old will in the fallen nature gave up its life, and I cried, “I am not worthy to live or enjoy your favour, yet Oh Lord! if you will be pleased to look on me with an eye of pity, do what you will with me, magnify your own name, prepare me by your judgments and power that your mercy may be shown in and by me, whether you cut the thread of my life, or shall grant me more days, which is only in your power.” My heart was made exceedingly tender, I wept much, and an evidence was given me, that the Lord had heard my cry, and in mercy looked down on me from his holy habitation, and a willing heart was given me and patience to bear his chastisements and the working of his eternal Word, which created all things at the beginning, and by which only poor fallen man is created anew in the heavenly image and prepared to praise him with acceptance, who lives forever and ever.

While I lay in this condition I said little or nothing, but was quite sensible, yet exceedingly weakened, having for about twenty-four hours felt more inward and inexpressible anguish, than outward pain. Toward the morning of the fifth day and night of my illness, I felt the incomes and owning of divine love in a greater degree than ever; for the prospect I had of so great forgiveness made me love the more, for love is ever reciprocal. I saw the morning light and thought all things looked new and sweet. I lay where the sun shone near, or on my bed, and have sometimes since thought, that being weak, the strength of the light and too much company hurt me. I leave this hint to excite nurses and those who have the care of very weak indisposed people, to beware of letting over much light come upon them, or many visitors, except they be such who are sensible of the weak by being inward and quiet, waiting to feel the sympathy which truth gives, the company of such being truly refreshing.

It pleased the Lord to restore me so that I recovered my usual strength, and was frequently humbled under a sense of the tender dealings of a merciful God, whose goodness and owning love I felt to be very near. I then loved retirement and to feel after the incomes of life, and was often fearful lest I should again fall away. In this time it was manifested to me, that if in patience I stood faithful, I should be called to the work of the ministry. I loved to attend religious meetings, especially those for discipline, and it was clearly shown me, that all who attend those meetings should wait in great awfulness, to know the immediate presence of Christ, the head of the church, to give them an understanding what their several services are, and for ability to answer his requirings, for it is by his light and spirit that the Lord's work is done with acceptance, and none should presume to speak or act without its motion and direction. They who act and speak without it, often darken counsel, mislead the weak, and expose their own folly, to the burden and grief of sensible Friends. It was in great fear that I attempted to speak in these meetings, and as I kept low, with an eye single to the honour of truth, I felt peace and inward strength to increase from time to time.

It is good for all who are concerned to speak to matters in meetings for discipline, to take heed that their own spirits do not prompt thereto, and to mind the time when to speak fitly; for a word in season from a pure heart is precious, and frequently prevents debates instead of ministering contention, and when they have spoken to business, they should turn inward to feel whether the pure truth owns them, and in that rest, without an over anxious care whether it succeeds at that time or not, so Friends will be preserved from being lifted up, because their service is immediately owned; or if it should be rejected or slighted, in this inward humble state, the labour is felt to be the Lord's.

It is a great favour that the Lord is pleased to cover his children with his pure fear, and to array their souls with the garment of humility, that they may stand in his presence with acceptance, waiting to be taught of his ways, and in meekness to be guided in judgment. These feel the necessity of minding that excellent exhortation, “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.” In a degree of reverent thankfulness, I bless the name of the Lord through his beloved Son, that according to my measure I knew what I now write; it was a time of growing with me, I rarely passed a day without feeling the incomes of divine life, and was favoured strongly to desire the sincere milk of the holy word, that in humility I might thereby grow in substance. But afterwards I was left for many days together, without inward refreshment, and was ready to fear that I had offended my gracious Redeemer; and being thoughtful and inwardly engaged to know the cause, I had to consider that children, though they may be thriving, and darlings of their natural parents, are not fit for much business until they are weaned; and although they grow finely, they are gradually taught to wait the appointed time between meals, before they have much care of their father's business, and are further prepared, so as to miss a set meal, or be a longer time without outward food, before they are fit for a journey. With these thoughts a hope began to revive in me, that I was not forsaken, of which indeed, as I kept patient, I was at times abundantly sensible, even those times which are in the Lord's hand; for his children experience that the times of refreshment come from him, who when he has exercised and proved them, in his infinite kindness is pleased to cause them to sit down, and condescends himself to serve them. Blessed forever be the name of the Lord who knows how to prepare his soldiers to remain faithful, and endure with patience what the natural man would account hardness!

I had strong desires that elderly Friends should be good examples to the youth, not only in word and conduct, but in meetings for the worship of God, and it grieved me exceedingly to see any of them overcome with sleep. My concern for one Friend was so great on that account, that I knew not what was best to do; and reasoned after this manner; Lord! you know that I am young, and he an elderly man, he will not take it well that I should speak to him, and perhaps I may yet fall; and if so, the more I take upon me, the greater my fall will be; besides, though I have spoken in meetings for discipline, when truth has been strong upon me, yet out of meetings, I am not fit to reprove, or speak to particulars. I was cautious indeed in those days, of talking about religion, or good things, from a fear I should get a habit thereof, and so not know the true motion; which I thought I had observed to be the failing of some. In this strait it came into my mind to go to the person in the night, as the most private time and manner; for if I took him aside before or after a meeting, others might wonder for what, and I might betray my weakness and reproach the good cause, and do no good, and if the Friend should be displeased with me, he might publicly show, what otherwise he would conceal after private deliberation.

So in the evening I went, desiring the Lord to go with and guide me, if it was a motion from him. When I came to the house, I called, and the Friend came out to see who was there, and invited me in. I told him I was in haste to go home, but wanted to speak with him if he pleased, and so passed quietly toward home, to draw him from the door, and then told him my concern for him in a close, honest, plain manner; and without staying to reason much, left him in a tender loving disposition, as I believe, and returned home with great peace. When you do or give alms, let not your left hand know what your right does, is an excellent precept. The left hand of self should not act in such things; no matter how privately they are done, they often answer the end better; neither is it a fault to lay things low and familiar, the truth will have its own weight, and accompany what it dictates with its own evidence. My intention in writing this, is to encourage the humble careful traveller in the way of his duty. Some times it appeared to be likely to do most good to write my mind, which I did with success, as I aimed only at a discharge of duty in the most private manner, and the good of those to whom I wrote.

In the twenty-fifth year of my age, I married Margaret Brown, a virtuous young woman, whom I had loved as a sister for several years, because I believed she loved religion. I think I may say safely, it was in a good degree of the Lord's pure fear, and a sense of the pointings of truth, on both sides, that we took each other on the 27th day of the eleventh month, 1729, old style, in an appointed meeting at East Nottingham, and I thought that our heavenly Father owned us with his presence. The covenants made in marriage are exceedingly great, and I think they never can be truly performed without divine assistance; and if all who enter into a marriage state, would in the Lord's fear seek his assistance, they would know their own tempers kept down, and instead of jarring and discord, unity of spirit, harmony of conduct, and a concern to be exemplary to their offspring would increase and be maintained.

In the year 1730, a monthly meeting was settled at Nottingham by the advice of the quarterly meeting, it being before a branch of New Garden monthly meeting. This brought a weighty concern upon me and many others, that the affairs of truth might be managed to the honour thereof; for we had but few substantial elderly Friends. In a sense of our weakness, it was the breathing desire of my soul that the Lord would be pleased for his own sake, and the honour of his great name, to be near his children and inspire them with wisdom and judgment for his own work. Blessed forever be his holy name! I believe he heard our cry, and in measure answered our prayers; and we being kept low and humble, it was a growing time to several. My affection to Friends of New Garden monthly meeting was so great, that for many months after we parted from them, I seldom missed attending it, and therein had great satisfaction, and some of their members frequently attended ours, for our love towards each other was mutual.

When I was about twenty-six years of age, some Friends were appointed to perform a family visit, and being desirous of my company, I joined with them, and therein felt the ownings of truth in some degree. But notwithstanding I saw at times the states of families and particulars, yet not in so clear a manner as I thought necessary to make it my duty to open my mouth in the service, save now and then, in a private way to particulars, of which none knew except those to whom I spoke. At one house the Friends on the service had a good opportunity, several young folks, some of whom were not of the family, being present. I felt the Divine presence to be very near, and a motion to conclude that sitting in supplication and thanksgiving to the Lord, but was not hasty, for fear of doing what was not required of me, so omitted it, and afterwards asked an experienced worthy minister, if he had ever known any Friend appear in a meeting in public prayer, before he had appeared in public testimony; which inquiry I made in such a manner as to give him no mistrust of me; he answered. “no, I believe it would be very uncommon.” It struck me pretty closely, but I kept my condition very private; having been exceedingly fearful of deception, and now began to doubt whether it was not a delusion for me to entertain an apprehension that I should be called to the work of the ministry; the concern whereof had been at times very heavy upon me; though no motion that felt like a gentle command to break silence, until at the house before mentioned. I let in reasoning, and so departed for a time from my inward guide and safe counsellor, as all assuredly will, who place their dependence on man for instruction, to perform duties required of them; or who forbear, or reason against the humbling, gentle motions, and leadings of the Spirit of Truth. Our only safety is in attending steadily thereto for instruction and ability to perform religious services, and when performed, we ought to be tender of the sentiments of our brethren concerning them, and not over confident of our call and commission; for our brethren have a measure of the same spirit by which we are taught, and have a sense and right thereby given to judge of our service. A becoming diffidence of ourselves, and a readiness to attend to the advice of such, is the badge of true discipleship; divine love teaches us to esteem others rather than ourselves.

This was an exercising time to me, but I did not discover it to anyone. I seemed to be forsaken, though not sensible of much judgment for my omission of duty, for I could with sincerity appeal to Him who knows all things, that it did not proceed from wilful disobedience, but a fear of following a wrong spirit, and a secret hope revived that my gracious Lord and master would not cast me off, and blessed be his holy name! he did not leave me very long before I was favoured as usual, but had no motion of the same kind.

When this visit was over, I kept much at home, yet was careful to attend meetings on the first and other days of the week, and found work enough to watch against a lukewarm, indolent spirit, which would come over me when I sat down to wait upon God. Though I came to the meeting in a lively engagement of mind, I found the warfare against lukewarmness, sleepiness, and a roving mind, must be steadily maintained, and if none of these hinderances were given way to, the Lord when he had proved his children, would arise for their help, and scatter his and their enemies, which my soul experienced many times beyond expression. The Lord alone is all powerful, and worthy to be waited upon and worshipped in humility and reverent adoration of soul forever. Indolence and lukewarmness bring darkness and death over a meeting, and when generally given way to, occasion hard work for even the most livingly exercised Friends to get from under the burden thereof. It was a mercy that I was preserved seeking, and could not be satisfied without feeling the renewings of divine favour, by which I grew in the root of religion, though I thought very slowly, but had a hope it would be lasting.

The love of truth and a desire that the discipline and good order of the church might be maintained, made me willing to take considerable pains to attend neighbouring monthly meetings, which I think was a blessing to me, being often instructed. I have often admired at the slackness of some, who allow trifling things to keep them from their meetings for worship on week-days and first-days; and though curiosity brings such to monthly meetings, they are seldom of any real service when they come, not being sensible of that divine love, in which the church through its several members edifies itself. As any become truly sensible of this, they will delight to meet with their brethren and sisters to wait upon God, who is the fountain of pure love, and so fills the hearts of his humble, depending children therewith, that by it, they are known to be his disciples.

In the year 1731, our ancient and worthy Friend William Brown, who had been in the station of an elder many years, grew feeble, and incapable of attending the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders. Friends of our particular meeting proposed me to the monthly meeting for that service, which brought a close exercise upon me, considering myself a youth, and the weight of the service; but after a solid consideration, I found most peace in submitting to the meeting, with fervent inward desires that the Lord would be pleased to be with me therein, to preserve me from acting, or judging in my own will and spirit, knowing that the service could not be performed but by wisdom, understanding, and ability from him. When I attended those large and weighty meetings of ministers and elders, the care and fear that was upon me is not easily expressed; and may I never forget the gracious condescension of kind providence, who was pleased to own me, by the shedding abroad of his love in my heart. I verily thought they resembled the school of the prophets, the High Priest, great Prophet and Bishop of souls, our Lord Jesus Christ being President among them.

An apprehension that I should be called to the ministry, and a concern on that account, had been at times, for several years, weightily on my mind; but I now again thought I was mistaken in that belief, and that it was only a preparative to qualify me for the station of an elder, and thereby my exercise became somewhat lighter for a time. The tenderness and love I felt to those engaged in public ministry, was very great, and I believe I was made helpful to some by giving private hints, where I thought there was occasion, in plainness, simplicity and fear, which often afforded instruction to myself as well as to them.

In 1733 I accompanied Friends on another visit to families, wherein, at times, I felt the opening of truth in the love of it, and a few words to speak to the states of some, though in great fear, lest I should put my hand to that weighty work without the real requiring of duty. At one family, I thought it would be better for the whole family, in a religious sense, if the heads of it were more zealous in attending meetings. I saw the necessity of being examples to children and servants, by a careful attendance of meetings for worship on the first, and other days of the week; but I was so weak and poor, that I doubted whether it was my duty to mention anything thereof to them, so concluded to omit it; by which I hoped to judge of what I had been about before, and so grew easy in my mind.

On the way to the next house, I began to judge that I had no business to say anything at any house; and having forborne in my own will, I was now left to my own judgment for a time. At the next house, Friends were tenderly concerned to speak to several states, and of several matters which I thought instructive; but I sat dry and poor, and so remained during our passage to the next house; where I fared no better, but worse. My feeling and judgment being quite gone, as to the service in which we were engaged; and though I did not say anything to the other Friends how it fared with me, yet they were affected therewith as I apprehended. I was in great darkness and distress, and sometimes thought of leaving the company privately, and going home, but concluded, that would not only be a disappointment to my friends, but dishonourable to truth, which made me determine to go forward, and endure my own pain, as much undiscovered as possible. My companions, as I before observed, were affected, and all save one seemed closed up from the service, and in the evening of the same day at the last house, all of them were silent. There was a school near, the master of which was a Friend, and the children mostly belonging to Friends, whom some of our company appeared willing to visit, but others being doubtful, we omitted it, which now some thought was not right, and that therefore this cloud of darkness and distress came upon us, and we were willing to meet at the school-house next morning, to try if we could recover our former strength in the ownings of truth. This being agreed to, each took his way home, and it being now night, and I alone, I rode slowly, under a deep exercise of mind, and humble inquiry into the cause of my own distress; and after some time, being favoured with great calmness and quietude of mind, I was inwardly instructed after this manner; You saw what was needed in a family this morning, and would not exhort to more diligence in that respect, and therefore if they continue to do wrong, it shall be required of you; on which I became broken in spirit, and cried in secret, may I not perform it yet, and be restored to your favour? Oh Lord! I am now willing to do whatsoever you requires of me, if you will be pleased to be with me. Blessed be his name, in mercy he heard my supplication, and I was fully persuaded that I must go to the house again; which I concluded to do next morning, and went home with a degree of comfort, and being weary in body and mind, slept sweetly, and awoke in the morning quiet and easy in spirit, and now began to conclude that I might meet my company and be excused. But my covenant was brought to my remembrance, and I was given to believe, that peace was restored on condition of my performance; therefore I went to the house, though several miles distant, before sun-rise, the man of the house was up, he invited me in, and I followed him, and sitting down by the fire, being cool weather, with my mind retired, I felt that I must not speak before the rest of the family, but rather in private, yet was fearful of calling him out, being unwilling to discover anything to them. In the mean time, he went out, and walked the way I was to go, I followed, and told him how I felt when we were at his house the morning before, and could not be easy without exhorting him to be more careful in several respects, and a better example to his family in his attendance of meetings. He seemed affected, and said he hoped he should mind my advice. I then left him, and met my companions at the school-house, and enjoyed great peace. I leave this remark, to excite all to dwell in meekness and fear, and to beware of the will of the creature, and the reasonings of flesh and blood, which lead into doubting and disobedience. They who are faithful in small things, shall truly know an increase in that wisdom and knowledge which are from above.

Before we had gone through this visit, I attended the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders at Concord, and as I sat therein, the unwearied adversary renewed a former charge against me, by suggesting to my mind, that I might know I had been wrong and under a delusion, in entertaining a belief I should be called to the work of the ministry; for that all who had ever been rightly engaged therein, it was greatly in the cross to the will of the creature, which was not my case, for I was willing. This I felt to be true, and was exceedingly distressed, not considering that I was made willing by the weight of the exercise, which had been several years at times very heavy upon me, until it seemed as a fire in my bones, and as though I was dumb with silence, I held my peace even from good, and my sorrow was stirred, my heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned. While under this conflict, a Friend stood up with these words, “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, whom shall we send, and who will go for us? Then said I, here am I, send me.” Showing, that “to them whose will was rightly subjected to the Lord, it became their meat and drink, to do the will of him who had subjected them by his divine power, and influenced their hearts with his love to mankind;” by which I was relieved, and my spirit humbled and made thankful.

Next morning being the first-day of the week, I went to Kennet meeting, and toward the close thereof, something appeared to my mind to offer, but I was fearful that the motion for speaking was not enough powerful, and had like to have forborne, but remembering what I had suffered by neglecting a weak motion in a family visit, as already related, I stood up, and spoke a few sentences in great fear and brokenness of spirit, and had solid satisfaction. I attended the quarterly meeting of business at Concord on second-day; on my return from which, I let in the old reasoner, who suggested to me, that if I was called to the public ministry, I had not waited for a sufficient commission to speak; for some had been raised up with great power, and an authority they could not withstand, but that I might have been still and quiet, the motion was so gentle and low, and that I must not think to speak in public testimony in great meetings with so small a motion, and in so doing, I had committed a sin that would not be readily forgiven, perhaps a sin against the Holy Spirit. My exercise was great, but as I endeavoured to be quiet in my mind, seeking to know the truth of my present condition, I was secretly drawn to attend to something that spoke inwardly after this manner, “if you were to take a lad, an entire stranger to your language and business, however likely he appeared for service, you must speak loud and distinctly to him, and perhaps with an accent or tone, that might show you to be in earnest, to engage his attention, and point out the business; but you would expect it should be otherwise with a child brought up in your house, who knew your language, and with whom you had been familiar. You would expect him to wait by you, and watch your motions, so as to be instructed by your eye looking upon him, or pointing your finger, and would rebuke or correct such a one, if he did not obey your will on such a small intelligent information.” I was instantly relieved thereby, believing it to be from the Spirit of Truth, that is to lead and guide into all truth.

When this meeting was over, being in the ninth month, 1733, we proceeded to finish our family visit. The part which remained was on the west side of the Susquehanna, at Bush River, and a few families settled near Deer Creek. We were remarkably favoured with the presence of our great and good Master, who opened the states of families to us, and gave ability to speak thereto; may his holy name be praised. The visit being finished, we returned home, and in a short time after, as I sat in a week-day meeting, I had a few words fresh before me, with a gentle motion to deliver them, which I feared to omit, still remembering what followed a former neglect; so I expressed what was on my mind, and therein had peace, and afterwards was silent for several weeks, in which time I let in a fear that I was forsaken by my dear Lord and Master, whom I loved above all things, for I had no openings in heavenly things, as I thought, but was left poor and needy, yet I loved Friends, and remembering a saying of a minister formerly, “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren;” I hoped that I was not quite forgotten. Some remarkable sentences had fixed in my mind sometime before, which I now began to understand more sensibly; “ministry should be of necessity, and not of choice, and there is no living by silence, or by preaching merely;” for something in me was ready to wish to be employed, that I might have bread, for when I found a motion to speak, I had the owning love of the heavenly Father; which is and ever will be bread to his children. The creaturely will, would choose and would be busy with questioning, may it not be so and so; this is that womanish part, which is not permitted to speak in the church: it runs first into transgression, for lack of learning of the husband at home, or being in subjection to him, which if Eve had literally done, instead of reasoning with the serpent that tempted, she might have been preserved from being a tempter. Our strength, preservation, health and peace stand in our entire subjection to the will of the Lord, whether in silence or speaking, suffering or reigning, still dwelling with the seed, Christ, in our own hearts; humbly waiting for, and feeling after his power, who is the resurrection and the life, and when he is pleased to appear, his children partake in measure of his glory!

I continued in the station of an elder, and some times delivered a few sentences in public testimony, which occasioned me to apprehend I should not be in my proper place, except I requested to be released from my eldership. After a time of weighty consideration, I modestly requested that Friends would consider my case, for instead of taking care of the ministry of others, I stood in need of the care of my friends, and that it would be relieving to my mind, if they would nominate an elder in my room, which was taken into consideration for a time; Friends waiting, I suppose, to see what proof I should make of my ministry. I attended the winter quarterly meeting of ministers and elders, and had to give an account of the ministry at our meeting, the elders being called to answer one after another in order, according to the meetings they belonged to; a fear struck me lest a form of words was too much in general observed, particularly, “that the ministry was well received.” When my turn came, I could not be easy without varying that part, and instead of saying, the ministry is well received, I said that I believed the ministry of the public Friends was generally approved of, and added, that I wished the ministry of all the ministering Friends was better received than I conceived it was. I was asked what I meant, and under the weight I felt on my mind, I replied, that it was not from a thought of bearing hard on the service of public Friends; but from the difference between approving thereof, because they believed it to be right, and attending no further to it, which would not do the work, but to put in practice what they heard recommended, was the only way of receiving it well, and if that was really the case, our Society would appear more beautiful than at present; thus the matter closed, and I had peace in the remark. I think this was the last meeting I attended as an elder; before the next quarterly meeting in the second month, 1734, another was recommended in my place.

About this time, as I sat in one of our own meetings, I felt a flow of affection to the people, for many not of our Society came there, perhaps out of curiosity, several young ministers having come forth in public testimony; in which extraordinary flow of affection, I had a very bright opening as I thought, and expected to stand up with it very soon, but being willing to weigh it carefully was not very forward, viewing its decreasing brightness, until something said as it were within me, “Is the woe in it? Is necessity laid upon you, and therefore woe if you preach not the gospel?” This put me to a stand, and made me feel after the living presence of Him, in whose name and power I desired to speak, if I appeared in testimony; and not feeling the pure life and power of Truth, so as to stand up, the brightness of the vision faded, and left me quiet, humble, and thankful for this preservation. The drawing strength and lusting desire of the unstable, who centre not to the pure gift in themselves, are as the many waters, or sea of mystery Babylon, for her merchants to sail their ships and trade upon. This was a time of inward growing to me, the welfare of the churches was strongly desired, and the extendings of the love of the heavenly Father, I felt at times to reach over sea and land, to my great admiration; but although my heart was enlarged, I believed it was my duty to retire inward, and wait with patience until my friends should so approve of my ministry, as to recommend me as a minister, before I made any request to go abroad; though I went to some neighbouring meetings, such as I could go to in a morning and return home at night, but not without acquainting some elderly Friends therewith and desiring their company, which I generally had.

In the winter 1735-6, William Brown, my brother-in-law, my sister Dinah Brown, then a widow, and myself, were all recommended to the meeting of ministers and elders, as ministers. At this meeting I informed a Friend that for sometime I had had a desire to visit Friends at Newtown, Middletown, Goshen, Cain, and Bradford meetings, hoping that he would go with me. I was not easy to go without a suitable companion, because it would be necessary that notice should be given to answer the end of a visit; which he approved, and let me know that he would take the needful care, which I supposed was previously to inform some Friends of each meeting, in order that they might acquaint their neighbours if they had freedom. I was easy, not knowing but he would bear me company.

On third-day I was at the general meeting of worship held at Providence, and at the breaking up thereof, the Friend to whom I had spoken, stood up and gave public notice that I intended to sit with Friends at the aforesaid meetings, naming the days in order, and requested Friends would take proper care to give notice; at which I was exceedingly surprised, and repented that I had spoken thereof. I would gladly have ran home but for the fear of bringing reproach on the truth, and to me it seemed likely this would be the case if I pursued the track laid out for me. In this strait I was humbled even to weeping; but a sympathizing experienced Friend came to me, and spoke affectionately, bidding me not to be cast down, for it was heard with gladness that it was in my heart to visit those meetings, and that if I lived and did well, I must meet with greater trials. I suppose Friends of those meetings knew more of me than I expected, for I had carefully attended meetings of discipline for several years, and had sometimes been active therein. The meetings were generally pretty full, and I believe truth owned my service, which was to me great cause of thankfulness. In this little journey Friends were very kind to me, and I was afraid were too free in manifesting it. Indeed there are many indulgent nurses, many forward instructors, but too few fathers in the church, who having been acquainted with the great Alpha in their tender beginning, and dwelling in his holy counsel and fear, have the care of the members at heart, and in the wisdom of truth know how to instruct, advise, and conduct themselves towards such who are called to the Lord's work according to their several dispositions, growths, and the gifts received; in order that they may be preserved growing in and by him, who was their beginning, and know him to be with them in their conclusion, to be the first and the last, all in all, the Lord God over all, blessed in himself and in the Son of his love, our holy High Priest and instructor. For lack of proper caution, some have valued themselves above what they ought, and thereby reduced their credit with others.

In the summer following I felt a gentle draft to visit the meetings in the back parts of Chester, Philadelphia and Bucks counties, which continuing with me, and my brother-in-law William Brown, having the like concern, we acquainted Friends at our monthly meeting, and had their concurrence, and I believe their good wishes for us. In the tenth month, 1736, we proceeded, and went to Goshen, Radnor, to a general meeting at Haverford, to an evening meeting at a school-house in Upper Merion, and over Schuylkill to Plymouth; and mostly had good satisfaction, I could see that my brother grew in his gift; and after one of the meetings a well-meaning Friend told me that I was a seer, and knew the states of people better than they could inform me, at which I felt some secret pleasure, yet not without, as I thought, a humble fear, knowing that flattery or unguarded commendation, if listened to, is a kind of poison to young ministers, and sometimes makes them swell beyond the proper size. At Plymouth I had an open meeting, and it seemed to me as if what I had to say was received freely by the people, and after meeting I was filled with joy to such a degree, that I wept and dropped behind my company, to keep undiscovered.

In going to a Friend's house, I prayed that it might be taken from me, for I feared, that by the natural part in me, it was taken to excess. Next day we had a small meeting in Job Pugh's house, where I thought I saw the states of particulars very clearly, and had something to say, which perhaps I delivered in too strong terms, considering my age and experience in the ministry. A becoming fear and modesty in expression, are very safe for ministers, both young and old. After meeting we went home with Evan Evans, to North Wales, who conversed but little with us, but was grave and solid, and therein a good example to me; for sometimes young ministers hurt themselves by too much talking, and draw from others of like freedom, things not convenient for them to hear.

The next day we were at North Wales meeting, which was large, being first-day; my brother, William Brown, appeared in the fore part and had good service; afterwards I stood up with a large and good opening as I thought, but found hard work, and soon sat down again without much relief, which being unusual, I ventured to stand up again, and with a zeal that exceeded my childish knowledge, laid on some strokes with the strength of the man's part, more than with the humbling power of truth. If we deliver hard things to the people, we should ever remember, that we are flesh and blood, and by nature subject to the same frailties; this would lead us closely to attend to the power, and to minister only in the ability of truth, in the meekness, gentleness and wisdom which it inspires. I soon sat down again, and in a moment felt myself left in great darkness, and Friends broke up the meeting in a minute or two after, which I soon thought was rather unkind, as it seemed to show a public dislike, when a private admonition, which I believed was my due, would have answered the end better. But when I knew they held an afternoon meeting, I judged that I had infringed on the time, and the weight of the trial settled still deeper on my mind. In the afternoon I sat silent, and was very much dejected, and my good friend Evan Evans, an experienced minister and father in the church, bid me be steady and inward, looking to the Lord who knew how to deal with his children and gently correct, as well when they went too fast, as too slow. This fatherly tender hint fully opened my eyes; for before I was in some doubt wherein I had missed; I now believed he saw I was too zealous and forward, and believed also that he had the judgment of truth; this was enough for me; I abhorred myself, and was in great fear that I should not be forgiven. Another Friend told me that I only felt an opposing spirit in some, whose states had been remarkably spoken to by me, and desired me not to be too much cast down, for I had the mind of truth. This instead of relieving, rather added to my affliction, for I saw it would have a tendency, if heeded, to take me from under the hand of the Lord, which was heavy upon me, and something in me said, “Let God be true and every man a liar, keep to the witness in your own heart, attend to the Spirit of Truth there, and mind its reproof.” Man through natural affection and sympathy may err, and administer false instruction, but the other proceeds from the God of truth. I would have given all that I had to be at home, for I greatly feared that I should bring a reproach on the truth, the honour whereof was dear to me, I hid my distress as much as possible, and proceeded to attend meetings with my brother, whom I greatly preferred, and was afraid to discourage by my complaints.

We were at a meeting at Skippack, and at another at Perkioming, or New Providence, in each of which I had so much light and understanding as to offer a few words, but the service lay chiefly on my brother. From there we went to Oley, where I had a few things to deliver in a Friend's house in an evening sitting with his family, which was large. The Friend in great tenderness observed afterward, that revelation was not ceased, for their states were very exactly spoken to, at which I marvelled, for I was greatly reduced, and thought myself one of the poorest and most unqualified that ever travelled in that great service, in which we were now engaged. This dispensation though sorrowful to wade through, was very humbling and profitable for me, who perhaps but a little before was ready to think I knew something about preaching, but now knew nothing, that I might more fully understand that he who thinks he knows anything, knows nothing as he ought to know;” and that all pure knowledge is sealed up in Him who is the fountain of wisdom and knowledge, to be opened only by himself to his dependent children, by the revelation of his own spirit, when and to whom he pleases.

From hence we went to Maiden Creek and Richland, in Bucks county, being still low in my mind, yet favoured for a few minutes in meetings, in which I had a few sentences, and then was closed up again: I was like one who having learned a few things in literal knowledge, was again turned back to his beginning.

We went to Plumstead in Bucks county, where I was rather more enlarged, and to Buckmgham, Wrightstown, Falls, Middletown, Bristol, and over on the ice to Burlington, in New Jersey, the weather being exceedingly cold, and came back again on the ice over Delaware the same evening to Bristol, and from there proceeded to Byberry and Horsham meetings. By this time I was relieved from the depression of spirit I felt before, yet was under a humble reverent fear, not forgetting the meeting at North Wales. I was in some degree again admitted to behold the lifting up of the heavenly Father's countenance, which makes the solitary rejoice. From Horsham we went to a meeting appointed at William Hallowell's; the company of the man who undertook to show us the way not being agreeable, we persuaded him to return, and so were left not knowing the way to the house, which made me very thoughtful, lest we should miss our way, and Friends would then be blamed for neglect of duty towards us. As I was thus pondering in my mind, faith arose, that Providence could direct, and that moment I saw the track of a man who had crossed the road we were in, and felt a sudden turn of mind to follow the same, which made me quite easy; it brought us to a field, where we found the fence down on both sides, and led to the house where Friends were gathered, and we were not discovered to be without a guide, for which I was thankful, believing it to be the secret direction of kind Providence, and not barely chance. I relate this with a view to excite such who may meet with difficulties, to rely on Him alone who can show the way, and give faith to follow, but man must be humble and quiet in mind, to understand the inward gentle sense that truth favours with: this small gathering was owned in a good degree with the divine presence.

We passed to Abington, Frankford and Philadelphia; and after visiting those meetings, turned to Germantown, and so over Schuylkill to Merion meeting, where we met our worthy friend John Fothergill, who had great and good service therein, with whom my brother William Brown, returned to Philadelphia to the quarterly meeting, which began next day. While he was absent from me I attended Springfield and Newtown meetings, when he again came to me, and we attended some other meetings until our quarterly meeting began, at which was our friend John Cadwalader, from Horsham, who had good service. After this I returned home and was glad to sit with Friends in our own meeting, wherein I did not see it my place to say much, but by example to recommend silence.

Early this spring, 1737, the Lord was pleased to try me with poverty and inward destitution, which brought me into great searching of heart, and inquiry into the cause, but could not understand that I had wilfully disobeyed, neither stood convicted in my mind for doing amiss. But my poverty and inward privation increased, with distress and doubting, to that degree, that I began to fear I had mistaken error for truth, and in my own imagination formed a religion, and for the rebellion of my youth was permitted to go on until now. All that ever I had done was brought into judgment and reduced to nothing, and the enemy endeavoured to stir me up to impatience, and to persuade me that my transgressions would never be forgiven. Many days of sorrow and nights of sore distress I passed through, and began to despair of ever beholding the light of the Heavenly countenance again lifted up towards me.

Towards the last of the third month I went to Sadsbury, to settle a dispute about the bounds of land, and having something to do near Samuel Nutt's iron works, on French Creek, as I was going there alone, my inward sorrow and distress being very great, I thought I would now endeavour to vent it, were it but in mournful groans. My inward anguish seemed to burn like fire, but I was instantly staid from breaking forth, for I was persuaded my grief, if given way to, would go beyond bounds. My heart not being tender, I could not weep, but was brought to a more calm pause than I had known for some time, and therein was ready to say, can the good hand be still near to stay me! Oh! that I may have patience given, and resolution strengthened to continue seeking, and if at last I should perish, that it may be at his footstool. For a small space I had some hope of again beholding Him whom my soul once loved above all things; but in a few miles riding it began to look pleasant to me, to go into some remote place where I should not be known. When reflecting thus—what! abandon mine acquaintances! violate my marriage covenant, and leave my nearest connections! I saw this prospect of pleasure was from the evil one, and something in me abhorred it as wicked, and as it were closed my eyes therefrom. That evening I went to the house of a former intimate acquaintance to lodge, who received me kindly, and in the evening brought a book containing some astronomical problems, and began to converse very freely thereon, supposing it would be pleasant to me as aforetime. But I was heavy in my spirit and thoughtful about something of another nature, and he soon perceiving his conversation on that subject was disagreeable, proposed my going to bed, as fittest for a weary man, judging that to be my present ailment, I was glad of the offer and immediately accepted it. I saw that when my mind was turned from delighting in that wherein our former friendship consisted, my company was rather unpleasant to him, and soon left his house in the morning, despatched my business, and returned home with as much speed as I could, without the least inclination to go elsewhere. I believe my prayer was heard; for I had patience granted me; I say granted, because no man can endue himself therewith, and I think my distress gradually abated after the time aforementioned.

When one has fasted for a long season, men of prudence will portion out food to him with care, that his strength may be increased and the constitution preserved healthful and sound. The Lord, whose love and care to His children far exceed that of any natural parent to his offspring, dealt with me in his tender mercy, giving me at times, by the gentle touches of his love, to feel that he had not forsaken me, which in a few minutes would be again withdrawn; but though of short continuance, it was sufficient for me to own that it was worth all my sorrowful longing. He was pleased to let me experimentally know the value of heavenly bread, by the lack of it, and having food and raiment, I was taught to be therewith content; the renewing of heavenly favour and the covering of the Holy Spirit, so as to be admitted to stand before Him in humble reverence with gracious acceptance, was all my soul craved. I neither wanted this man's gift, nor the other man's popularity and eloquence, but to be in mercy admitted into the number of his family, and enabled to occupy my own gift to the honour of Him who gave it. When Peter was examined by his Lord whom he had denied through fear, “Do you love me more than these? the third time he answered, “You know all things, you know that I love you.” He did not answer the question in its full extent, that is, “more than these,” the rest of the disciples who had not denied their Lord and Master, as Peter had done, who was nevertheless looked upon with forgiving compassion, and therefore had need to love in proportion. Perhaps his honest confession and appeal to his Master's knowledge might shorten his answer; and his threefold charge of feeding the sheep and lambs of his Lord, be necessary to gain his diligent attention to the work of Him whom he had three times denied; he to whom much is forgiven, loves much if he is not ungrateful. No marvel that I met with this trial of my love and affection, who so often, not through fear, but the desire of indulging my creaturely will, had denied, or neglected to follow my Lord and Master, who had so early made me acquainted with his will, and who now had passed by mine offences, and called me to work in his vineyard. I was now made thankful for favours which before had scarcely been owned as such. To be preserved inwardly watchful and quietly resigned to wait upon the Lord, though we partake not of immediate consolation by the renewing of life, is a great blessing, for which we ought to be thankful, as we cannot stay our own minds, nor curb our thoughts without divine aid. I believed that labour was healthful, created an appetite and sweetened the relish of rest and food in a spiritual as well as natural sense, and therefore I wanted not to eat the bread of idleness and live on the labour of others.

After this trial, which continued most of the summer, I was much favoured with the incomes of divine love and life, and in the winter following, visited most of the meetings in Chester county, and some few in Philadelphia county. The weather was very cold, being about the middle of the tenth month when I set out, and in my journey I went to visit a worthy Friend who was indisposed, and as we sat together in the evening, he asked me why I chose the winter season to visit my friends, for many infirm folks could hardly attend meetings, and said he was sometimes ready to query, whether public Friends do not take that time to serve their Master, because they could do but little for themselves. I was thoughtful and low in my mind before, and had some reasoning whether it had not been better that I had stayed at home, than ventured out on the service at that time of the year.

Though I thought I had an engagement sufficient when I set out, his query made me more thoughtful, and added to my reasoning. But I soon recovered strength, and it came into my mind to ask him whether Friends could eat to supply and sustain their bodies in the summer, and partake also of spiritual food for their souls in that season, so as not to labour in the winter and care for the sustenance of then bodies, or assemble and attend meetings to worship and wait upon God for spiritual food for their souls. He acknowledged I had by this query satisfied him to the full, and said he was glad of my visit, and hoped his talking as he did, would not discourage me, for I believe he saw it brought a damp over me at first. This answer I believe was given to me for my own help, and was encouragement to me through this journey, in most of which I had Joshua Johnson, of Londongrove, for a companion, who was very agreeable, and in my return home I felt great peace.

Chapter II.

His journey with Robert Jordan to the Western part of Maryland, in the year 1738. Also to the quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, in New Jersey—And with John Hunt through that province—His visit to the Eastern shore of Maryland—His journey to Fairfax and Hopewell, in Virginia, in company with a committee of Friends—And a second time to the Eastern shore of Maryland, with John Cadwalader and companion—His visit to New England in company with Samuel Hopwood, in 1742.

In the summer following I went with Robert Jordan to West River yearly meeting in Maryland, and we visited most of the meetings of Friends in that province, and his company was profitably instructive to me who was but young in the ministry. I think I knew him well, he had a good gift of the ministry, and was highly favoured in the living openings of truth, but was often low in mind and very humble in spirit. One time as we were riding together, he lagged behind for several miles. I asked him why he rode so slow, he made no reply, whereupon I stopped until he came up, his countenance was solid, and looked as if he had been weeping. I asked what ailed him, after some time he told me, that he had been thinking of the great favours which man partakes of, particularly in being placed over the beasts of the field, and how easily they were broken, and made subject to his will, what a small turn with the bridle would put them to the right hand or to the left, and on a gentle motion would amend or slacken their pace, at the will or pleasure of the rider; and that man, the most noble and intelligent creature, should so far neglect the duty of a willing subjection to his Maker, who has so highly favoured him with temporal blessings, and the knowledge of heavenly things.

I had been at that meeting about three years before; having had some business to do for a friend of mine on the Eastern shore of the Chesapeake, and crossed over the bay to the Western shore, and was at the yearly meeting, and was grieved at the conduct of some of the elders, whose age, if they had kept to the truth and had been zealous for the honour thereof, would have made them better examples. I spoke my mind plainly to them, but not without proper caution, as I thought, both with respect to my youth and their age. But some seemed a little warmed thereby, and asked for my certificate, if I had any. I honestly told them the principal business that brought me from home was temporal, and having accommodated it, I thought I might attend that meeting without offence, if I did not misbehave myself. William Richardson desired Friends to consider what I had said, for he believed if they did, they would perceive the young man had a certificate with him that might answer for one of a neighbouring province to attend such a meeting.

It may not be unseasonable to relate that in the year 1736, one night as I lay in bed, my mind was uncommonly affected with the incomes of divine love and life, and therein I had a view of the churches in New Jersey, with a clear prospect that I should visit them. In that prospect, and the strength of affection which I then felt, I said in my heart it is enough; I will prepare for the journey as soon as I can hear of a suitable companion, for I do not expect that I shall have a clearer sight than I now have. I soon heard of a Friend who had a visit to New Jersey before him, and spoke to him about my concern, but he let me know that he knew of a companion, and they had agreed upon a time to proceed. After I had mentioned it to him and some other Friends, my concern seemed to die away; but I remembered the resolution I had taken up, and that I then thought I would not look to be bidden again, and was fearful something had drawn my mind from the proper attention to that opening, which was the reason it seemed to go off. The more I strove to look after it, the duller it grew; and I then sorely repented that I had spoken about it, and thought it should be a warning to me in future; for I began to see there was a difference between seeing what was to be done, and being bidden to do the thing shown: besides this, I had to consider there was a time to bud, a time to blossom, a time for fruit to set and appear, and a time for it to ripen.

In the fore part of the winter of 1738, I thought it seemed to revive, and when I saw John Hunt, a Friend from England, I believed I should go with him when he went through New Jersey, and told him what I thought, at which he rejoiced, for we were nearly united. We appointed a time to meet at Philadelphia, and when we had so far concluded, being about six weeks beforehand, my concern, as I thought, soon withered away, and I began to be in great fear that I had been again too forward therein. But after some time of humbling exercise on that account, the Lord, whom I feared, from the love with which he was pleased to enrich my heart, gave me to remember, that when I made the appointment with my friend, it was in his fear and great abasement of self; and as I had seen clearly to make the appointment, it was my place to attend to it in humble reliance on him for ability to perform the embassy; for the Lord who calls and sends forth his own, will also provide all things convenient for them.

When the time came, I set forward very poor and needy, and continued so until we entered upon our service. We took a few meetings before our general spring meeting; and after attending that, went to Woodbury, Pilesgrove, Salem, Alloway's Creek, Cohansey, and so to Cape May, and had some close work, but in the main it was satisfactory to ourselves.

After having several meetings at and near the Capes, we went to Great Egg Harbour, and had a meeting there, and another at the house of our friend Japhet Leeds, and so over the marshes to Little Egg Harbour River, and had two meetings with Friends there. In one of these I stood up with a large opening as I thought, but after a short introduction it closed up, and I sat down again, which was some mortification to me as a man, though very profitable; being thereby taught to know that he who would speak as the oracle of God, must, under the gentle burden of the word, in humble fear wait for wisdom, utterance, and ability to perform the service to the edification of the church and his own peace, and not to look after large and specious openings, however desirable to the creaturely part in ourselves or others, which must suffer famine.

At one of the meetings in these parts, coming very early, a Friend belonging thereto invited us to go to his house not far off, and he would put up our horses to hay during the time of the meeting, saying that we must go to his house to dine. I felt a stop in my mind, and told him that our horses could stand very well there until after meeting. It so fell out that neither of us said anything in the meeting, which was satisfactory to us, for we had a sense that the people had been fed with words and hungered for them more than for the instruction of the pure word of life nigh in the heart and mouth, that they might not only hear it but be found doers thereof. After the meeting no one asked us to dine, but went away and left us, and had it not been for the care of our kind guide who came from the meeting we were last at, we should have been at a loss to get forward. I mention this to show how unacceptable silence is to such whose ears itch after words.

From hence we went through the desert to Upper Springfield, where we had a satisfactory meeting; then taking the meetings northward, to Stonybrook and Trenton, we returned to Bordentown, and so crossed the Delaware. Some of the meetings were large and satisfactory under the owning of truth, the power whereof was in dominion and the name of the Lord praised, who is worthy forever. Some were remarkably close and hard, which made me remember a saying of that experienced minister and elder, John Fothergill, that, “When he was first in this country, he had some extraordinary meetings hereaway, the people being industrious in a natural as well as spiritual sense, some of whom were now removed, and their children possessed the temporal estates of their fathers, and though their outward habitations looked spacious, their meetings for worship were dull and heavy, by reason of a worldly spirit, and their indifference about heavenly treasure.”

One meeting we were at was remarkably hard, and my companion was exceedingly exercised, under a sense that the people were too rich, full and whole in their own eyes, but he sat the meeting through and suffered in silence. I had something to say which was very close, and felt a degree of the strength and power of truth to clear myself in an innocent and loving manner, and remembering they were brethren, I did not preach myself out of charity towards them, and so had peace. We went home with an elderly Friend, who in a stern manner asked me from where I came, and said I was a stranger to him. I answered him with a cheerful boldness; he asked me what my calling was, I told him husbandry: he queried if I was used to splitting wood; I let him know I had practiced it for many years. He again asked me, if I knew the meaning of a common saying among those who were used to that business, “'Tis soft knocks must enter hard blocks.” I told him I knew it well, but that to strike with a soft or gentle blow at a wedge in blocks of old wood that was rather decayed at heart, would drive it to the head without renting them, and the labour would be lost, when a few smart lively strokes would burst them asunder. Whereupon he laid his hand on my shoulder, saying, “Well my lad, I perceive you are born for a warrior, and I commend you.” Thus we came off better than we expected, for I thought he pointed at my service that day; he was ever afterward very loving to me, and I was thankful that the Lord was near to me, for which I praise his sacred name. To be becomingly bold in the cause of truth, at times is particularly necessary, otherwise the weight of the testimony thereof would be lessened, and a carping spirit be set over it.

From Bordentown we went to Plurastead in Bucks county, and on a first-day had a pretty good meeting; to a monthly meeting at Buckingham, then to Wrightstown, the Falls, and Middletown, which meetings were in a good degree satisfactory, the power of truth being felt to arise, for which we were thankful; though in some of them there is a lack of faithful members to put the discipline in practice against those that are disorderly, and thereby bring a reproach on the truth. We then went to Philadelphia, and next day to Chester, from which I went home the same day.

In the fall of the year 1740, I had drawings in my mind to attend the quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, and was at several meetings on my way there, at one of which a Friend appeared, who I thought had good service in the fore part of his testimony, but as truth did not rise into dominion so high as he expected, perhaps in too much zeal and creaturely warmth, he laid on a little too fast,” and continued until the life rather abated, and some tender minds were hurt. It often happens that such to whom hard things belong, put them off, and those who are more tender and least deserving of such doctrine, take it to themselves to their own hurt. Ministers ought to be careful while engaged in service, that they may be favoured with a feeling and sense of the states to which they minister, and be influenced with wisdom from above to divide the word aright, in meekness, gentleness, and holy fear; then truth will have its own authority and power. After the Friend sat down, it became the concern of another in a few words, as it were to number the slain and search for the wounded, and set close and hard things where they belonged, by describing the several dispositions in choosing and refusing to take hard things. Afterwards I was in company with the Friend, and he being down in his mind, and perhaps not fully knowing the cause, asked me what I thought of the meeting, to which I was not forward to answer. He said, 'tell me what I have done this day'? I asked him privately and in a pleasant manner, what Gideon did to the men of Succoth? At which he was greatly humbled, fully understanding what I meant, and did not in the least resent the hint; which I thought was truly great in him, and very becoming a minister; for if we would instruct others, we should be exemplary in taking instruction ourselves when necessary.

Falling in company with Robert Jordan, we proposed a meeting to the Anabaptists at Middletown, to which they readily consented, and we had a profitable opportunity with them in their meeting house, and on the same evening a meeting at the house of Hugh Hartshome, to which several Baptists came. This was a time of favour, and I hope of service, it was concluded by Robert Jordan in solemn prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord, who is worthy forever and ever. Just as the meeting broke up, I felt myself poor and inwardly weak, to as great a degree as ever I had done, and looking towards my said friend I saw he was in the same condition; but a query of our dear Lord's came suddenly into my mind and ministered relief, namely: Who has touched me? Which I repeated to my companion, believing that it was as much for his help as my own. He understood the meaning instantly without further explanation, and was also relieved.

Perhaps some who may hereafter peruse these lines, may think this is too bold for a mortal man to mention; but I have by a degree of experience known, that when the healing virtue of truth from the holy Physician of souls, has flowed through a humble servant, to the relief of some of the infirm and poor amongst the people, who have followed physicians of no value and spent all their living without a cure being wrought, notwithstanding virtue has gone through them as instruments or conduits only, they have felt inwardly weak for a time, that in humble abasement of soul they might be taught to acknowledge, that the kingdom, power and glory, does belong to Him alone, who is God over all blessed forever and ever.

From there we went to William Hartshorne's, at Sandy-hook, and so to the quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury, which was large, and the power of truth was felt in a good degree; but many loose and rude people of the neighbourhood and parts adjacent coming together at such times to drink, carouse, and ride races, are very hurtful to each other and disturbing to Friends. I had several meetings on the way home, and enjoyed great peace, and could therefore rejoice and ascribe the praise to the Lord, who had called and enabled me to perform this service.

Having a concern on my mind to visit the meetings of Friends on the Eastern shore in Maryland, I laid it before our monthly meeting and obtained a certificate in the tenth month. My brother-in-law, James Brown, bore me company; and we were at Cecil monthly meeting held at Chester in the eleventh month. Before meeting a Friend informed me that he thought it would be best for me to cross Chester River, and go directly southward. I told him it might be so, but I could say little to it at present; but some Friends consulting about it, and one being there who lived near the meeting house in Queen Ann's county, they thought he could give notice on first-day to several meetings; so a Friend ventured to speak publicly thereof at the close of the meeting for worship, without letting me know what he intended to do.

I had been uncommonly distressed as I sat in the meeting, from an apprehension that but few of the Friends belonging to that particular meeting were there, and when he published where it was proposed I should be during the ensuing week, I felt my mind turned another way. I stood up and told Friends, that I believed they thought it most for my ease to lay out the meetings after that manner, but if Friends at that particular meeting would favour me so far as to meet there next day, I should be glad to sit with them, provided they would please to let other Friends and neighbours who were absent know of it; for if I had a right sense, there were several members not present. Also, that I should be willing to be at Cecil meeting on first-day, and Sassafras on second-day, which was directly back, but told them it seemed easiest to my mind, though it would occasion more riding. This being agreed to, we had a much larger meeting next day, for many before were absent, as I had thought, and I had a full opportunity to discharge myself toward the lukewarm and indifferent, and the disorderly walkers, and had peace.

I visited several families on seventh-day to good satisfaction, and was at Cecil meeting on first-day, and the next day at Sassafras, and had to believe it was by the secret direction of the good Shepherd, who never fails his dependent children, that I was turned this way; for he was pleased to own my service in these meetings by his presence in a good degree, to the praise of his own name, which is worthy forever. From there we passed over the head of Chester by the bridge, John Browning, a Friend from Sassafras, going with us as a guide, who some time before had been convinced of the blessed truth, by the inward operation of the holy Spirit, without any instrumental means. He had been a member of the church of England, and for his sobriety was chosen a vestryman; but after a time felt a scruple in his mind about taking off his hat, when he entered the church yard, so called, fearing it was a superstitious adoration of the ground, from its supposed holiness; but would take it off when he entered the worship house, and walk uncovered to his pew. But after a time he could not uncover his head, until what they call divine service began; which, as he kept attentive to the scruple in his mind, became very lifeless to him, who was inwardly seeking for substance and life. He therefore withdrew from it, and after some time went to one of our meetings, rather out of curiosity than expecting any good, but felt himself owned, and had a taste of the peace which the world cannot give, and from that time became a constant attender of our meetings.

We had a meeting at Queen Ann's, amongst a people who for lack of keeping to the life of religion, had almost lost the form. In conversation at a house in the evening, I asked a Friend whether she was a Friend's child, or one convinced of our principles; her reply was, that when she was young, she lived at a Friend's house, and took a notion of going to meeting with them, which she had done ever since. Alas! when notion changes the will, and not that faith which works by love to the purifying of the heart, the religion is without reformation, empty and dead. From there we went to Tuckaho meeting, and the weather being very cold and rivers frozen up, several masters of vessels and sailors came there, and others who were people of fashion.

In the forepart of the meeting a man spoke, whose communication grieved me, for my heart yearned towards the people; the words he began with were, “Woe, woe, to the crown of pride and the drunkards of Ephraim;” and with very little application he sat down. It appeared to me as if the appearance of gaiety had fired the creaturely zeal, which was the chief motion to this short sermon; this with the cold wind blowing in at the door, much unsettled the meeting, it being at the time of a remarkable snow storm. I desired the door might be shut, which being done, the house became more comfortable and the meeting settled, and I stood up with a heart filled with affection, having that passage of Scripture before me, in which the apostle Peter declared the universality of the love of God, i.e.: “I perceive of a truth that God is no respecter of persons,” etc. I was enlarged thereon to my own admiration, and I believe the satisfaction of the people; the meeting ended sweetly, with thanksgiving and prayer to the Lord for the continuance of his mercy, who is the author of all good, and worthy of adoration and worship forever. After this we attended the several neighbouring meetings, through very cold weather; and the houses being open and unprovided with the means of keeping them warm, of which there is too manifest a neglect in those parts, they were uncomfortable, which occasioned unsettlement. We reached home just before our quarterly meeting in the twelfth month.

In this journey, travelling in Talbot county, an elderly man asked us if we saw some posts to which he pointed, and added, the first meeting George Fox had on this side of Chesapeake Bay, was held in a tobacco house there, which was then new, and those posts were part of it. John Browning rode to them, and sat on his horse very quiet; and returning to us again with more speed than he went, I asked him what he saw amongst those old posts; he answered, “I would not have missed what I saw for five pounds, for I saw the root and ground of idolatry. Before I went, I thought perhaps I might have felt some secret virtue in the place where George Fox had stood and preached, whom I believe to have been a good man; but while I stood there, I was secretly informed, that if George was a good man, he was in heaven, and not there, and virtue is not to be communicated by dead things, whether posts, earth, or curious pictures, but by the power of God, who is the fountain of living virtue.” A lesson, which if rightly learned, would wean from the worship of images and adoration of relics.

I was not many miles from home this summer, except to attend our own quarterly and yearly meetings; but in the fall having some drawings in my mind to visit Friends in the new settlements in Virginia, I went with a committee of the quarterly meeting, appointed to inspect whether Friends at Fairfax were in number and weight sufficient to have a meeting settled amongst them to the reputation of truth. We visited all the families of Friends there, and had a meeting among them to satisfaction; from there we went to a place called Providence, or Tuscarora, and had a meeting with the Friends there, who were glad to see us; and attended Hopewell monthly meeting to some satisfaction. I also went to a few families settled up Shanandoah, above the three-topped mountain, so called, and had a meeting amongst them; they were pretty much tendered, and received the visit kindly, especially such as did not make profession of the truth with us. I admired how they had notice, for many came to it, and some from ten miles or more distance. I believe that the delight in hunting, and a roving, idle life, drew most of those under our name to settle there, and having discharged myself in a plain, yet loving manner, I returned; and after having several other meetings thereaway, I went home with peace of mind and thankfulness to Him who enables his children to answer his requirings, having rode in this journey above four hundred miles.

This winter, John Cadwalader and Zebulon Heston, in their return from a religious visit to Friends in Maryland, Virginia and Carolina, were at my house, and being desirous to visit some meetings on the Eastern shore of Maryland, I went with them to Sassafras meeting, and called to see the widow and children of John Browning, who had been dead about a month, and she gave me in substance the following account of him:

“My husband was not long sick, but said he believed he should not recover, and charged me to endeavour that his children should be brought up in the way of truth which Friends profess; and if they inclined to have trades, to put them apprentice to real Friends, not barely nominal ones, which she said she was willing to do, though she had not yet joined Friends. He desired she would not trust her own judgment, and named some Friends with whom she should advise in choosing masters; then said, when I am dead, bury me by my father and mother in the grave yard belonging to our family, and you know that I put a large grave-stone at my father's grave, and there is one ready for my mother's grave, which I did not put there, because I began to think they were more for grandeur than service. I sent for them to England, not at the request of my father, they are mine, and now I have a full testimony against such formal tokens of respect; therefore when I am buried, before the company leaves the grave, inform them what my will is, and desire their help to take the grave stone from my father's grave, and carry it out of the yard, that it may be brought home, and lay one in one hearth, and the other in the other hearth of this new house, and they will be of real service there;[1] which she promised him to observe, and told me she had complied therewith; he remained sensible to near the last, and departed in a quiet resigned frame of mind.”

How weak are the arguments of such who make profession with us, and plead for those grand marks of memorial, or other tokens of distinction set up at, or on the graves of their deceased relations; and how soon would they subside, did they but live so near the pure truth as to feel the mind thereof, as I fully believe this our friend did. The name of the righteous will not perish, but be had in everlasting remembrance, because their portion is life for evermore, having entered into that kingdom prepared for the blessed before the foundation of the world.

In the spring of the year 1742, I felt strong drawings of mind to visit Friends in New England, having had some view thereof several years before; and having obtained a certificate, I set forward in the third month, and after visiting several meetings in New Jersey, and one in New York, I attended the yearly meeting on Long Island, wherein the power of truth was felt, and a great openness to those of other societies, many of whom were present, particularly on the last day, and two priests who behaved solidly.

I then went with Samuel Hopwood, a ministering Friend from England, with whom I had travelled in this journey through part of New Jersey, to Ryewood, and had a meeting there, where were a few solid Friends, but others were too talkative. At Old Seabrook we had a meeting in an inn, on the first-day of the week, the people being chiefly Presbyterians, few attended besides ourselves and those of the family, who were kind and civil to us.

Then going to Conanicut, we had a meeting with Friends on that island, and proceeded to Newport, on Rhode Island, and on the fifth-day of the week attended the meeting at Portsmouth, where we met with Lydia Dean, from Pennsylvania, who was on a religious visit to Friends in New England, and many other Friends coming to be at the yearly meeting. It began on the sixth-day of the week with a meeting of ministers and elders, and two meetings for public worship, one in the forenoon and the other in the afternoon, which were held in the same order until the second-day of the next week, when the meeting for discipline began. This large yearly meeting was generally solid and satisfactory; after which, taking several meetings in our way, and attending a monthly meeting, all which were in a good degree satisfactory, Samuel Hopwood and myself embarked for Nantucket. Through the mercy of kind Providence we arrived safely there, after a passage of three days and two nights, occasioned by scant winds and an easterly storm, which tore our sails very much, being old and rotten, so that if some watchful Friends on the island had not seen us in distress, and come with three whale-boats and took the passengers from the vessel, we should have been in great danger; for being near a sand-bar, the vessel struck ground soon after we left her, and by the violence of the wind was driven on shore. We looked on this deliverance as a mercy from God, to whom several of us were bowed in humble thankfulness for this particular favour. On the 22nd day of the fourth month the yearly meeting began, which though small on this day by reason of the storm, was comfortable, the other sittings were mostly large, and in a good degree owned by the power and virtue of truth.

My friend Samuel Hopwood, apprehending himself clear, inclined to return to the main land, but no passage offered; and notwithstanding the meetings had been generally attended by most of the inhabitants of the island, and were large, yet I was not easy without endeavouring to have some opportunities with Friends by themselves, as much as could be, which I obtained, besides attending their usual week-day meeting. In these sittings it pleased the Lord to open my way to deliver several things which had lain heavy on my mind; for although some solid tender spirited Friends lived on this island, yet I saw there was a libertine spirit at work amongst some others, to draw away from the pure inward life of religion and the simplicity of truth, into ease and liberty; after which I had great peace, and my mind was made thankful to the Lord, who had owned my labour by a good degree of his presence and power.

Being now fully clear and a passage offering, on the 2nd of the fifth month we took leave of our friends, and landed the same day in the evening at Seconnet. On seventh-day Samuel Hopwood and I went to the quarterly meeting at Sandwich, and were at their first-day meeting also, after which I went back to Seconnet, and had a meeting at Benjamin Boreman's; then returned to Sandwich, where I again met Samuel Hopwood, and on third-day we had a meeting at Yarmouth, and returning to Humphrey Wady's, we from there went towards Boston, taking a meeting with Friends at Pembroke. We reached that town, on sixth-day, and attended their morning and afternoon meetings on first-day, also one at a Friend's house in the evening. I have little to remark, save that religion seems to be at a low ebb. From Boston I went to Lynn, but Samuel Hopwood returned towards Rhode Island. I had a meeting at Lynn, also at Salem, Newberry and Dover, being the monthly meeting; the next day at Cachechy, and in the afternoon again at Dover, at the burial of Mary Whitehouse, who was ninety-five years of age. On second-day morning I was drawn to have a meeting over the river on the Kittery shore, among Friends, which was satisfactory to myself and them, there being a tender people there.

On third-day morning as I lay in bed, I felt my mind drawn towards the north-west, which was an exercise to me, for I had before thought myself at liberty to return towards Boston. I arose about sunrise, and asked the Friend where I lodged, whether any Friends lived at a distance on that quarter, for that I had a draft that way, he answered no, and asked how far I thought to go. I told him it did not seem to me to be more than ten miles; he said there was a people about eight miles distant, which he supposed was the place to which I felt the draft. I desired him to send a lad with a few lines to some person whom he knew, to inform them that a stranger would be glad to have a meeting among them at the eleventh hour of that day, if they were free to grant it, which he did, and he and his wife went with me. We got to the place near the time proposed, and found a considerable gathering of people, that I wondered how it could be in so short a time, not more than three hours warning; they were preparing seats, by laying boards on blocks in a large new house, and soon sat down in an orderly manner. I went in great fear and inward weakness, and at the sight of such a gathering of people, and none of our profession among them except the Friend and his wife who accompanied me, and two others who joined us on the way, my spirit was greatly bowed, and my heart filled with secret cries to the Lord, that he would be pleased to magnify his own power. And blessed forever be his holy name! He heard my cry, and furnished with wisdom and strength to declare his word to the people, among whom there were some very tender seekers after the true knowledge of God. The doctrine of truth flowed freely towards them, the universality of the love of God being set forth in opposition to the common predestinarian notion of election and reprobation.

When the meeting was over, I felt an uncommon freedom to leave them, for they began to show their satisfaction with the opportunity in many words; so speaking to the Friend who went with me, we withdrew and went to our horses. On mounting, I beheld the man of the house where the meeting was held, running to me, who taking hold of the bridle, told me I must not go away without dining with them; I looked steadfastly on him, and told him, that I did believe this was a visitation for their good, but I was fearful that by talking too freely, and too much, they would be in danger of losing the benefit thereof, and miss of the good the Lord intended for them, and my going away was in order to example them to go home to their own houses, and turn inward, and retire to the divine witness in their own hearts, which was the only way to grow in religion. I left him, and returned with my friend Joseph Estes and his wife.

Next day I was again at Cachechy meeting where Lydia Dean and her companion Eliphal Harper met me, it was a good meeting. From there we went to Dover and had a meeting, and another the same evening at the house of John Kenny, and being clear of those parts, I returned, having meetings at Hampton, Salisbury, Amesbury, and Haverhill. At this last place, several persons assembled with us who had never heard the preaching of any Friend before; there was great openness among them, and we had a good meeting together, for which I was thankful to the holy Author of all good.

Next day I again met with Lydia Dean and Eliphal Harper, at Stephen Sawyer's, near Newberry, where we had a meeting, at which I was concerned to speak in a brief manner of the beginning of the reformation from the errors of the church of Rome, and the sufferings of the Protestants, particularly in England, some of whose successors turned persecutors, and were very cruel to those whom they called Sectarians. The Presbyterians having suffered persecution, in order to be eased therefrom, came into America and settled in New England, expecting there to enjoy that reasonable right, the liberty of their consciences; and forgetting the golden rule of doing to others as they would be done unto, became, to their lasting ignominy, persecutors of the Quakers, so called, even to the death of several of them. I had to speak of the nature and ground of persecution, and the great inconsistency thereof with Christianity.

Several Presbyterians were present, and an ancient man from Newberry, one of their leaders and an elder among them, when the meeting was over, desired he might speak with me. I being withdrawn into a little parlour, Stephen Sawyer came and informed me that the old man wanted to be admitted to me, to which I felt no objection, being quiet and easy in my mind, though I expected he would be for disputing. When he came in, he let me know that he had some observations to make to me: “he supposed I was a man that had read much, or I could not be so fully acquainted with the reformation, and that I had had a college education.” As to the last, I told him that I never had been at a school but about three months, and the man I went to being a weaver, sat in his loom and heard his scholars read; that I was so far from having a college education, that I was born in a wilderness place, where a few families had settled many miles remote from other inhabitants. Lifting up his hands, he blessed himself and added, “Heaven has then anointed you to preach the gospel, and you have this day preached the truth; but I can assure you, though I have been a parish officer, I never did take anything from your friends the Quakers, for I am against persecution; so God bless you with a good journey.”

The next day I had a meeting at Ipswich, in the house of Benjamin Hoeg, none professing with us living in that town, but himself and family; though a friendly man, as I came late to the town the evening before, invited me to lodge at his house, which I accepted, and being weary, slept well. In the morning I heard a noise of high words in the street, and getting up I opened the door of the parlour where I lodged, and through a passage into the kitchen, saw a woman whom I took to be the mistress of the house, and went toward her; but with a look of exceeding displeasure she immediately shut the door. I turned into my room again; and after a while the landlord came to me, and told me that he had been with the burgess, who had given leave that a meeting might be held in the town-hall; but the priest and his two sons had since been with the burgess and forbade him, and that rather than displease them, he had withdrawn the leave. The priest asserted that the Quakers were heretics, and had gone about the town to forewarn his hearers against going to the meeting, which was the meaning of the noise I had heard in the street. I felt very easy, and desired that he would not trouble himself any further than to inform them, that the meeting would be held at the house of Benjamin Hoeg; for I did believe that the railing of the priest would raise the curiosity of the people to come, and so it proved. I asked him to show me the way to the house, that I might assist in making provision for seats if occasion required; he said I must take breakfast with him, which was soon brought in by the woman who had shut the door as before mentioned. I asked him if she was his wife, he told me she was, on which I arose from my seat and offered her my hand, asking her how she did, but she in displeasure refused, and saying not a word, directly left the room.

After breakfast we went to the house where the meeting was to be held, and there soon came a great number of people, and the priest also very near the door, where he stood cautioning his hearers; but several came by an alley to the back door, and others seemed little to regard him. After a time he went away, and through the goodness of the Lord we had a solid profitable meeting. I believe many were there whose hearts were reached and tendered by the love and power of the gospel of Christ, and among them I saw my scornful landlady; a woman whom she valued having persuaded her to come with her. Before the meeting ended, I perceived her countenance was changed and her stout heart tendered, and after it she came to me with her husband, and kindly invited me to dine with them. I owned their love, and desired them to mind the truth by which they had been reached; so in humble thankfulness of heart to the great Author of all mercies, I left them, and went that night to Salem.

After tarrying one meeting the next day, passed on to Marblehead, and had a large meeting in the townhall, the magistrates readily granting it. I had to speak on the nature and necessity of morality, showing that a man could not be a true Christian without being a good moralist. I thought they had need of reformation in their morals, though they professed Christianity in a high manner. One thing is worthy of remarking, the select men and officers were very careful to keep the rude boys and people that came to the door from making disturbance; several of them walked to the door and spoke to them, and rapped some on their heads with their canes to make them still; the meeting ended to satisfaction without the least opposition. From there, taking a meeting at Lynn by the way, I went to Boston, and was at their meetings on first-day in the forenoon and afternoon, at both which, several came who were not in profession with us, and truth opened the doctrine thereof to the people pretty freely. I was not easy to leave this town without having an opportunity with Friends by themselves, for which purpose it was held at Benjamin Bagnall's, and therein I was deeply bowed under a sense of the state of ease in which some were delighting themselves in their imaginary attainments, while the pure seed lay under suffering. But blessed be the Lord, who was graciously pleased to endue with a spirit of love and tender compassion, and thereby enabled me to discharge myself fully, and I was released from what had lain very heavy upon me for several days.

The next day I had an opportunity with several Friends at Samuel Pope's, and then left Boston pretty easy in my mind, and went to Samuel Thayer's, at Mendam, who accompanied me to Uxbridge, where we had a meeting with a few raw, talkative people, which, through the goodness of God, was nevertheless to some degree of satisfaction. I returned with Samuel Thayer to his house, where I met with Hannah Jenkinson from Pennsylvania, and we were at Mendam meeting together. I was also at Wainsokett and Providencetown, the latter of which was a poor meeting, the people looking for words, and not waiting for the word of life in their own hearts. I had a large and good meeting at Neshanticut, the Lord's presence being felt to his own praise, and another at Greenwich; then proceeded to Smithfield and Taunton, taking a meeting at each to some good degree of satisfaction; then to Swanzey, Freetown, Rochester and Cushnet, having a meeting at each. In one of these, I stood up to speak a few words in great fear, life being low, and as I apprehended the seed under suffering. I heard a kind of sighing by one in the gallery, which seemed to bring death rather than to raise life, and after I had spoken a sentence or two, it became exceedingly burdensome; whereupon it came fresh in my mind to say, “can an Israelite sing a true Hebrew song while the seed is in captivity and under suffering? An attempt of the kind shows ignorance.” There was a great silence and the sighing ended, and I received strength to deliver what was on my mind, and truth was felt in a good degree to arise; the meeting ended well, and several Friends expressed their satisfaction with the service that day. Being clear of those parts I went to Rhode Island, and in a sense of the goodness and mercy of the Lord who had helped me in my travels in his work, my soul worshipped before him.

On the 22nd of the sixth month I sat with Friends at Newport, in their fore and afternoon meetings, and next morning left Rhode Island with a heavy heart and had a meeting at South Kingston, where I met with Susanna Morris and her sister Hannah Hurford. The day following we had one at Thomas Stanton's, in Westerly, among a mixed people of several societies, to whom I felt a stream of gospel love; but the meeting was hurt by some appearances by way of ministry. Our manner of sitting in silence is so different from the common practice of most other religious societies, that it is no marvel if it should be as time misspent to some, and fill others with wonder, which was the case this day. For lack of a deep inward attention to the living word of truth, instead of instructing the people in the true way of worship in the love of the gospel, there may be a disposition to censure them for what they understand not, and thereby raise a dislike in them, to the foreclosing of other service. I have sometimes observed hurt done by this means, by some who appeared in the impatience, not having the weight of the work upon them. Custom had taught the people to look for words, and they were offended by words spoken not in season, and therefore not fitly spoken. I left this meeting with sorrow, and after I mounted my horse, the person who had appeared there three times, came to me, and said “he hoped he had not hindered my service in it.” I reminded him, that he had informed the people in that meeting, their looking for words had been one reason why the Lord had shut up the testimony of Truth in the hearts of his servants, which I told him I did believe was not then the case; but that his forward appearances had unsettled the people, and marred the service.

Feeling my mind drawn back towards Newport, I went that evening to James Congdon's, and the next day to Newport, calling in my way at James Parry's, where I found Lydia Dean very sick, she being so far on her journey towards home. On the fifth-day of the week I was at two satisfactory meetings there, and on seventh-day had a small meeting at Nicholas Easton's, and on first-day two large good meetings at Newport. Next day hearing that Lydia Dean was come to Samuel Clark's, on Conanicut island, I went with several others to see her, and she returned with us to Newport, where after a very short notice we had a large evening meeting, wherein the Lord was pleased mercifully to favour us with his immediate presence to the glory and praise of his own eternal name, who is worthy forever!

After attending their monthly meeting at Portsmouth, finding my mind clear and easy to proceed homeward, Lydia Dean, Patience Barker, John Easton and myself set out from Newport, taking leave of Friends in a tender manner on both sides, and were the first-day following at a meeting in Westerly, which was in a good degree satisfactory, and passing through Connecticut to New Milford, Oblong and Ninepartners, had meetings in each place. Having a great desire to be at our yearly meeting for Pennsylvania and New Jersey, to be held at Burlington, which was approaching, we passed on, and took a meeting at Samuel Field's, to which several not of our Society came, and the opportunity was, through the goodness of the Lord, profitable. We then proceeded as fast as convenient, and reached Burlington on first-day in the time of the yearly meeting, where many Friends were gathered, and Michael Lightfoot in his return from Great Britain, with whom came John Haslam and Edmund Peckover on a visit to Friends in America. This meeting was large and solid, at which I met my dear wife to our mutual, thankful rejoicing. After the meeting I went home, where I found things as to the outward, in good order, for which I was humbly thankful to the Lord, who had not only been with me by his heavenly presence in this journey, and brought me safely home to my family, but had supported them in my absence; blessed be his holy name forever!

Chapter III.

His visit to Long island—Visit with others to the families of Friends in Nottingham—to some families in Philadelphia and to the mayor of that city, also to the assembly of Pennsylvania in the year 1748—His journey with Michael Lightfoot to the yearly meeting at West River, in Maryland—and accompanied by Joshua Brown to several meetings in Pennsylvania and New Jersey—His considerations on apprehending it his duty to visit Friends in Europe, and proceedings in preparing to enter on that weighty service, to the time of his leaving home in order to take shipping for London.

In the spring of the year 1743, having drawings in my mind to make a general visit to Friends on Long island, I sat out in the third month, in order to be at the yearly meeting at Flushing, which began on the sixth-day of the week, and continued until the second of the week following. It was large and signally owned by the power of truth in each sitting; the public service in the ministry lay mostly on Edmund Peckover, who was there in his way to New England, On first-day I thought I had an engagement to stand up, and considerable matter before me, and after speaking three or four sentences which came with weight, all closed up, and I stood still and silent for several minutes, and saw nothing more, not one word to speak. I perceived the eyes of most of the people were upon me, they, as well as myself, expecting more; but nothing further appearing, I sat down, I think I may say in reverent fear and humble resignation, when that remarkable sentence of Job was presented to my mind, “Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

I suppose for nearly a quarter of an hour I remained in a silent quiet; but afterwards let in great reasonings and fear lest I had not waited the right time to stand up, and so was allowed to fall into reproach; for the adversary who is ever busy and unwearied in his attempts to devour, persuaded me to believe that the people would laugh me to scorn, and I might as well return home immediately and privately, as attempt any further visit on the island. After meeting I hid my inward exercise and distress as much as I could. I lodged that night with a sympathizing friend and experienced elder, who began to speak encouragingly to me, but I said to him, that I hoped he would not take it amiss if I desired him to forbear saying anything; for if he should say good things, I had no capacity to believe, and if otherwise, I could not then understand so as to be profitably corrected or instructed, and after some time I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I remembered that the sentences I had delivered in the meeting, were truths which could not be wrested to the disadvantage of Friends, or dishonour of the cause of truth, though they might look like roots or something to paraphrase upon; and although my standing some time silent before I sat down might occasion the people to think me a silly fellow, yet they had no cause to blame me for delivering words without sense or life. Thus I became very quiet, and not much depressed, and was favoured with a humble resignation of mind, and a desire that the Lord would be pleased to magnify his own name and truth, and preserve me from bringing any reproach thereon. I ventured to have meetings appointed, and my particular friend and intimate acquaintance, Caleb Raper, of Burlington, being at that meeting, went as companion with me, of whose company I was glad, he being a valuable elder. We went first to Rockaway, then to Jamaica, Sequetague, Setawket, Matinicock, Cowneck, and Westbury meetings, and at most of them I had good satisfaction; the presence of the Lord in whom I delighted above all things, being witnessed to my comfort, and I believe to the edification and comfort of the sincere in heart; but the testimony of truth was particularly sharp to the lukewarm professors and libertines in our Society. That humbling time I had at Flushing was of singular service to me, being thereby made willingly subject to the divine openings of truth, the motion of the eternal Spirit and pure word of life, in speaking to the several states of those who were present in the meetings, and life came into dominion, and the power thereof overshadowed at times, to my humble admiration; blessed be the name of the Lord who is worthy forever and ever!

Crossing Whitestone ferry we had meetings at West Chester, Mamaroneck, Ryewood and Longreach, which were mostly to good satisfaction. We then went to New York and were at their meeting, and in the evening had a select one with Friends, which gave me considerable relief, and I believe satisfaction to them, and we were made thankful together in the renewings of the covenant of life. From there we went to a meeting at Newtown on Long island, and to the monthly meeting at Flushing, where Friends gave me a certificate in return to that I brought from home, in which they signified their unity with my service on the island. Taking leave of Friends in sweetness of mind and inward peace, being clear of those parts, I returned homewards, and went to the Narrows that night, but could not get over.

Next morning early, crossed the ferry, when there was a great swell, occasioned by the stormy weather in the evening and night before; having now no wind, were obliged to row the boat over. In the passage I remembered, that in crossing this ferry when coming on this visit, I thought myself never much poorer, having only a secret hope and trust in the holy Arm of power, and being now inwardly sensible of my own weakness, I had to acknowledge that I went not forth on this embassy in my own will and strength, and therefore craved only that my blessed Lord and Master would blot out my offences, and yet enable me so to walk in humble obedience, the residue of my time, as to be favoured with the answer of well done at the conclusion. Knowing the nature and treachery of self, I did not want to be entrusted with much reward at present, choosing rather, that the Lord in his infinite wisdom and mercy, should deal out to me my daily bread according to his own pleasure. “I passed over this Jordan with my staff and now I am become two bands,” was the saying of Jacob. As this saying of the good patriarch came fresh in my mind, I thought, that although I could not see myself much increased in heavenly treasure, I came poor, and had only the staff of faith to lean upon, yet I had to bless the Lord that he was now pleased to favour me with the same staff in my return, on the never failing strength whereof, I might with safety rely, and in holy resignation I had to praise his worthy name. I proceeded with my friend Caleb Raper, to Burlington, where we parted in much love and nearness, in which we had travelled together; I reached home about wheat harvest, and found my dear wife and family well.

I went not much abroad during the residue of this summer and the year following; but was careful to attend our own and many neighbouring meetings, also monthly, quarterly and yearly meetings, in this and the adjacent provinces. Some business of a public nature, together with my own circumstances, necessarily engaged me for several years, during which time, that is, in the spring of the year 1745, my dear wife having drawings in her mind to visit the meetings of Friends in Virginia, Maryland and North Carolina, obtained a certificate of the unity of Friends, to travel in that service with Jane Hoskins of Chester.

In the same year I was nominated with several other Friends to visit the families belonging to our monthly meeting, which being large and many Friends living at a distance, was a laborious work, and not fully performed until the fall of the year 1747, when account was given that the service was perfected to a good degree of satisfaction. In the winter following, I had it on my mind to visit all the families of the particular meeting of Newark, near Brandywine, who seemed to be in a declining state as to religion, having dropped their weekday meeting, and often much neglected to attend their first-day meeting, many of the elderly Friends being deceased, and their children almost turned to the world, and united to the spirit, pleasures, and pastimes thereof. My brother William Brown and his wife, and mine, were with me on this service, and great plainness was used in opening to many particulars the cause of their declension; and as the love of truth engaged me in the service, I had peace and satisfaction, and those visited seemed to receive the visit kindly.

In the spring of the year 1748, I felt drawings in my mind to visit some families of Friends in Philadelphia, of which I acquainted my brethren at home, and having their concurrence, in the fourth month I joined with some Friends in the city, who were before appointed to the service. We went in much love from house to house, the Lord, by his good presence, being with us to our mutual comfort; and as I attended to the drawings of truth, I found a concern to go to the mayor of the city, accompanied by my good friend Israel Pemberton, the elder, and was engaged to lay before him the nature of his office as a magistrate, and exhorted him to take care that he bore not the sword in vain, but put the laws in execution against evil doers, such as drunkards, profane swearers, etc., and to be, in his authority, a terror to the wicked, and an encourager of them that do well; he was loving and tender, and expressed his satisfaction with the visit.

While I was in the city, the governor summoned the members of assembly together, and in pressing terms laid before them the defenceless state of Pennsylvania, in order to prevail with the house to grant a sum of money to station a ship of war at Delaware capes, also to encourage the building of a battery below the city, which was begun sometime before by subscription, but likely to be too heavy for the undertakers. One night as I lay in my bed, it came very weightily upon me to go to the house of assembly, and lay before the members thereof the danger of departing from trusting in that divine power which had hitherto protected the inhabitants of our land in peace and safety. The concern rested on me several days, which occasioned me with earnest breathings to seek the Lord, that if this was a motion from him, he would be pleased to direct my steps therein, so that I might be preserved from giving just cause of offence to any. It seemed to be a very difficult time, many, even of our Society, declaring their willingness that a sum of money should be given to the king, to show our loyalty to him, and that they were willing to part with their substance for his use, though as a people, we had a testimony to bear against wars and fightings. I made no man privy to my concern until nearly a week had passed; when one morning it became so heavy upon me, that I went to the house of an intimate friend, and as we sat together he had a sense that something of weight was upon me, and asked if I was concerned about the assembly. I asked him if he ever knew of any Friend going to the assembly with a concern to speak to them? He answered no, adding, “but I have often wondered that they have not, for I have understood it was formerly a common practice for them to sit in silence a while, like solemn worship, before they proceeded to do business.” I told him I had it on my mind to go to the house that morning and should be glad of suitable company. He directed me to one whom he thought such, and I immediately went to him and acquainted him with my concern; but as I spoke, I felt that I had better go alone, and therefore told him, if he did not feel clear and easy to go with me, I advised him to stay; he replied, “your way is before you, but I believe I must not go.” I returned to my friend, who did not discourage me, though I had no company.

Being pressed in mind, I went directly to the state-house before I took breakfast, and got there just as the speaker was going in; I beckoned to him and he came to me. I told him I wanted to be admitted into the house, for I had something to say to them which seemed to me of importance. He said it was a critical time, and they had a difficult affair before them, and queried whether I had not better wait until the house parted; and another member being near, said he thought it would be best, and less liable to give offence, for there were many members not of our Society, and if I would wait until the house broke up, they would inform all the members who were Friends, and did not doubt they would be willing to give me an opportunity to inform them what was on my mind. I told them that would give me no relief, for I had a particular desire that those members who were not of our Society should be present; believing that it would be better for them to hear and judge for themselves than to have it at second hand, as it might be differently represented; at which they were silent. I requested the speaker to go in and inform the members, that a countryman was in waiting who had a desire to be admitted, having something to communicate to them, and if they refused, he would be clear; he readily and affectionately answered he would, and soon brought me word that they were willing. There was a great awe over my mind when I went in, which I thought in some measure spread, and prevailed over the members beyond my expectation; after a silence of perhaps ten or twelve minutes, I felt as though all fear of man was taken away, and my mind influenced to address them in substance after the following manner:

My countrymen and fellow-subjects, representatives of the inhabitants of this province,

Under an apprehension of the difficulties before you, I feel a strong sympathy with you, and have to remind you of a just and true saying of a great minister of Jesus Christ in his day, “The powers that be, are ordained of God.” If men in power and authority, in whatsoever station, would seek unto God, who will be a spirit of judgment to them that sit in judgment, for wisdom and counsel to act singly for Him who ordained the power, and permitted them to be stationed therein, that they should be his ministers; they would be a blessing under God to themselves and their country. But if those in authority allow their own fears and the persuasions of others to prevail with them to neglect such attention, and enact laws for their own protection and defence by carnal weapons and fortifications, according to what is styled human prudence, He who is the great Superintendent, by withdrawing his power, may permit those evils they feared to come suddenly upon them, and that in his heavy displeasure. May it with gratitude be ever remembered, how remarkably we have been preserved in peace and tranquillity for more than fifty years! No invasion by foreign enemies, and the treaties of peace with the natives, wisely begun by our worthy proprietor, William Penn, preserved inviolate to this day. Though you now represent, and act for a mixed people of various denominations as to religion; yet remember the charter is the same as at first. Beware therefore of acting to oppress tender consciences, for there are many of the inhabitants whom you now represent, who still hold forth the same religious principles with their predecessors, who were some of the first adventurers into this, at that time, wilderness land, who would be greatly grieved to see warlike preparations carried on and encouraged by a law consented to by their brethren in profession, or others, contrary to the charter, still conscientiously concluding, that the reverent and true fear of God, with a humble trust in his divine power, would be our greatest defence and safety. They who hold different principles and are settled in this government, can have no just cause of reflection if warlike measures are forborne, because they knew the charter framed, and the peaceable constitution, and have ventured themselves therein.

We may observe by laws enacted in parliament when the reformation was but newly begun in England, our mother country, there seemed to be wisdom from above to influence their minds. May you be rightly directed at this time, many of whom do fully believe in the immediate influence of Christ, the wisdom of God, which is truly profitable to direct. It is not from disrespect to the king or government that I speak after this manner, for I am thankful in heart, that the Lord in mercy has vouchsafed that the throne of Great Britain should be filled by our present benevolent prince, King George II. May his reign be long and happy.

I acknowledged their kindness in hearing me with so much patience, and taking leave, withdrew. Several members followed me out and expressed their satisfaction in an affectionate manner with my visit; and embracing each other, we parted in a sense of the love and power of Christ Jesus, our Lord, who, with the Father, is worthy of all thanksgiving and praise forever and ever.

After my service in Philadelphia was over, I returned home with peace and satisfaction, and went not much abroad save to our quarterly and yearly meetings, until the spring following, in the year 1749, when I went with Michael Lightfoot to the yearly meeting at West River, in Maryland. In this journey, the weather being hot and some weakness of body attending, it threw me into a strong fever and a stoppage in my breast, that it was with some difficulty I got home, and continued without any amendment a considerable time; and one evening as I was preparing for bed, an imposthume broke, which I suppose was on my lungs, almost strangling me for a considerable time. I expected I was near expiring, but felt resignation in this trying time beyond my expectation, which I took to be a great favour from the Lord: there is no support like the light of his countenance. I continued bleeding more or less many days, but gradually mended. In the eighth month being pretty well recovered, in much love I felt drawings in my mind to visit some meetings in the back parts of Chester, Philadelphia and Bucks counties, and part of New Jersey; and laying my concern before my friends, had their concurrence, and was accompanied by my kinsman Joshua Brown, through most of the journey.

Our first appointed meeting was at Radnor, in which truth owned our service in a good degree, and passing over Schuylkill, went to Plymouth, North Wales, Skippack, and New Providence. The last meeting, for lack of giving more careful notice was very small, and not being easy in my mind, I had a singular freedom to let them know, that I would endeavour to be at that place again on the second-day following, and should be glad they would please to give full notice thereof. Having a strong draft in my mind to turn back to North Wales, I went the same evening to Robert Jones', at Skippack, and next day to see a Friend who had been a long time indisposed, with whom we had a good opportunity, which I believe was of advantage to the Friend, through the goodness and mercy of the blessed Shepherd of Israel. I also visited two other Friends, and we were comforted together in the renewing of heavenly goodness.

On first-day I was at North Wales meeting, which was large and satisfactory, and at Providence again on second-day, where Friends generally met, and I had an opportunity to clear myself in a particular manner. Then went to Evans' meeting by the side of Schuylkill, and had a meeting the same evening at the house of Thomas May, both which were to some satisfaction; afterwards went to Maiden Creek, Exeter and Richland, and from there over Delaware to Kingwood, and visited the meetings in Burlington, Gloucester and Salem counties, as far down as Greenwich, and returned homewards by Haddonfield. I called to visit Hannah Cooper, whose husband had not long been dead, she seemed under affliction of body and mind. I felt a near sympathy with her, and though we did not converse much together, yet in the owning love of Him who is a friend to the afflicted, we were mutually comforted. She expressed her satisfaction in a tender manner, saying that soon after I came, her exercise was lightened, and she was refreshed in a sense of the kindness of the Lord, in affording a sympathy and inward feeling to the children of his family. My soul was humbled in reverent thankfulness to him the Author of all good, who is worthy of praise forever. In the morning I had a passage over the Delaware, which by reason of ice had not been passable for several days before; and tarrying in Philadelphia that night, I went next day to Darby meeting, and the day following got well home, and found my dear wife and family well.

On my leaving home to perform this visit, I felt great inward weakness, and in going from meeting to meeting, frequent humbling baptisms attended, in which the present state of the church was seen, and the conditions of many spoken to in the love of truth, which made me often think it seemed like a farewell visit, at least for a long time.

As I passed along in this visit, I observed some people would earnestly press me to go home with them, and would say they would not take it kind if I did not, and Friends did not use to serve them so, that is, pass by them; yet I thought there was not much of the innocent sweetness of truth to be felt at their houses, or even about them. They would say, you have hit the nail on the head, there is just such people among us as you have spoken of; and seemed as to themselves, safe and easy, when perhaps their religion lay much in thinking that good Friends were familiar with them and thought well of them. I also took notice of another sort, who though they were not fond of having Friends to go with them, would speak well of their service, and deal it out liberally to others in a censorious manner, not seeing themselves in a true light, which would have led them to smite their own breasts, with a feeling, short prayer, rather than apprehend themselves better than others, when perhaps covetousness and a worldly spirit had almost destroyed charity, which is the sure product of true religion. A third sort, I beheld humbled and bowed, whose words were few, and would frequently, if they said anything, lament the state of the Society, and speak of their own weakness, and fear lest they should not walk in the uprightness of truth before their own families and the church. The dew of heaven rested on them in their humble situation. I was thankful in the sense I had, that there were a few of these in almost every meeting, and I had a firm belief, that some among the youth were under the hand of the great Preparer of men for his own work. These children are mostly modest and diffident of themselves, sincerely affectionate, not over forward or fondling, but lovers of truth in heart, to whom I felt great nearness of spirit, believing they would grow in the root of life.

I beheld some others among the youth, who I feared had too great a delight to live on the labours of others, who nevertheless had been favoured with the reaches of divine love, but for lack of dwelling deep and humble, with the pure witness in themselves, ran out in the affectionate part, and were greatly delighted to hear truth's testimony, and valued instruments according to their own liking. These, though they appear as goodly flowers, for lack of a humble abode in the vine, do sometimes wither away as grass on the house top. “If you love me, keep my commandments,” is a precept of our holy Lord and Master; to keep his commandments, we must dwell with his grace in our hearts, by which the law of the spirit of life is known and understood, by the enlightening and everlasting sure Word of prophecy, which will privately interpret, and secretly show to every man his duty, and the calling of God, and abilitate to abide therein; and his law is light and his commandment as a lamp to the feet of his people forever.

As I sat in a week-day meeting in the winter of 1748, I felt great weakness and poverty attending my mind, which occasioned a deep inquiry into the cause. After a time of inward waiting, the humbling divine presence was felt in reverent profound silence, yet the gentle operation of the divine power caused an inward trembling, and the following was uttered in a language intelligible to the inward man; “Gather yourself from all the cumbers of the world, and be weaned from the popularity, love, and friendship thereof.” I believed this to be the voice of the holy One of Israel, as a merciful warning to prepare for my final change, or to stand ready for some service which would separate me from temporal business and the nearest connections in life; and from that time I endeavoured to settle my affairs, and contract my little business as well as I could.

In the summer following I met with an unexpected trial, for without my knowledge my name was put in the new commission for justices of the peace, and endeavours were used to persuade me to be qualified in order to act in that station; and some of my particular friends told me it seemed providential, and they thought it was my place to accept thereof, as I might be helpful by way of example, to some in the commission who were Friends. For a short time I was exceedingly straitened, but my eye being fixed on the Lord for counsel, it pleased him in great condescension once more to revive the sentence before mentioned, “gather yourself from all the cumbers of the world,” etc., which settled the point, and I became easy in mind, and humbly thankful to my blessed Instructor who had called me for other service.

After my return home from the visit to Friends in New Jersey, I felt such an inward silence for about two or three weeks, that I thought I had done with the world, and also any further service in the church, and the preparing hint was brought to my mind, with thankfulness that I had endeavoured in a good degree to practice it. One day walking alone, I felt myself so weak and feeble, that I stood still, and by the reverence that covered my mind, I knew that the hand of the Lord was on me and his presence round about, the earth was silent and all flesh brought into stillness, and light went forth with brightness, and shone on Great Britain, Ireland and Holland, and my mind felt the gentle, yet strongly drawing cords of that love which is stronger than death, which made me say, Lord! Go before, and strengthen me, and I will follow whithersoever you leads. I had seen this journey nearly fifteen years in a very plain manner, and at times for ten years, thought the concern so strong upon me that I must lay it before my friends for their advice; but was secretly restrained; being made to believe that an exercise of that sort would ripen best to be kept quiet in my own heart to know the right time, by no means desiring to run without being sent. To see a thing is not a commission to do it; the time when, and judgment to know the acceptable time, are the gifts of God.

The time I had to prepare for the journey was short, and I therefore thought it was needful to employ it to the best advantage; and as I had a desire to see Friends of several particular meetings, namely, Bradford, West and East Cain, Uwchland, Nantmill and Goshen. My sister, Dinah James, went with me to those meetings, which through the goodness of the Lord were solidly profitable. We had also a meeting at Henry Hockley's, near French Creek iron works, which was to some good satisfaction, and so to the quarterly meeting at Concord in the twelfth month, where I met my brother William Brown, who queried of me where I had been, and what I had been doing? I told him I had been doing as he and every honest man ought to do, collecting little debts and paying where I owed, and endeavouring to settle my affairs; for that such care was necessary when one expected a great sum would be immediately demanded.

In a few days after my return from the quarterly meeting, I laid my concern before our preparative meeting, in order that Friends might have a month to weigh and consider it before I spoke for a certificate. I wanted their feeling concurrence in this weighty undertaking, firmly believing, that my great and good Master would not require anything of me in which my dear friends could not concur, and though while the power of truth was upon me, I was made freely to give up; yet now home, and the near affection to a dear wife, only son, relations and friends, were exceedingly quick and affecting, and something in me seemed to have a choice, that my friends would judge that I was too weakly and infirm in body, or not otherwise qualified for the service, and if that should be their mind, I thought I should be clear. In the interval I visited the neighbouring meetings, and carefully attended to the motion of truth therein; and in the first month, having the concurrence of the preparative meeting, I laid my concern before the monthly meeting, and attended our general spring meeting at Philadelphia. My brother, William Brown, having spoken for a certificate on the like concern, it seemed pleasant to think of crossing the ocean together, and Friends were for proposing a passage, and what ship we should go in. I felt a secret prohibition against being any ways concerned about a passage until I had a certificate, and knew that I was fully clear; so returned home. Having a desire to see Friends in York county, over Susquehanna, I went there, accompanied by my brother, James Brown, to the meetings at Newberry, Warrington, Huntingdon and Monallen, which were mostly to a good degree of satisfaction.

In my return, being humble and low in mind, and ruminating on my European journey, which was before me, my spirit seemed to sink, and my affection to my dear wife and family, and friends, so awakened upon me that it looked to me impossible to part from them and live. But endeavouring to retire, blessed be the name of the Lord, the helper of his people, by whose power a silence was known, and by a gentle, instructive, inward voice, my attention was gained, and my mind diverted from its pain by the following query: “Suppose you should lend a valuable thing to a neighbour of yours, to be returned on demand, and you should favour him therewith from time to time, not only one year, but seven, and then should see cause to demand it to be resigned; would you not think that neighbour ungrateful, if he did not resign it cheerfully, and with thankfulness and acknowledgment suitable to your kindness?” The proposition demanded my assent, and my understanding was fully opened by the following application: “All that you enjoy is mine, do you love these things more than me? If not, why is it so hard for you to resign all to follow me? Which made me cry. Lord! enable me, and I will follow you, it is only by your strength I can do it.” By the gracious help of Christ, my great and good Master, I felt a humble resignation to his will, who being all things to his people, is worthy to be followed and obeyed forever. I was led to believe this was the instruction of his blessed spirit to me, and as I had much comfort and satisfaction thereby, I am free to leave it as a hint, that others under trials of what kind soever, may be encouraged to look unto him for help, who is the Lord, mighty to save and able to deliver to the uttermost all who sincerely trust in him.

My certificate being signed in the second month, I attended our quarterly meeting at Concord in the third month, and went to Philadelphia to seek for a passage, and with my brother, William Brown, found one to our liking and to the satisfaction of Friends, which we also valued. I then returned home, waiting until the ship was nearly ready to sail, and during that time visited several neighbouring meetings, taking leave of my neighbours and friends; and on the 1st day of the fourth month, 1750, taking leave of my dear wife and aged mother, I left home before sun-rise, and went to Philadelphia that night. I spent the next day in visiting some of my acquaintances, and on the first of the week attended three meetings; in the morning at the Bank, which was a satisfactory good meeting, wherein Friends were exhorted to attend on the gift of God, for instruction and ability to perform every good word and work, and in the afternoon and evening at the Market Street house, which though not quite so open as the other, were in the main solid good meetings.

Chapter IV.

His visit to Great Britain, Ireland and Holland, from the year 1750 to 1754, with observations on the state of our religious Society in the course of his travels.

On the 4th day of the fourth month, 1750, being the second of the week, we left Philadelphia, accompanied by several of our relations and friends to Chester, and went on board the ship Carolina, Stephen Mesnard, commander, bound for London, where my brother, William Brown, and myself, took leave of them. We went out to sea in the afternoon of the 6th of the same month, and had a good passage, in which I was not seasick, though my brother was most of the time.

We landed at Dover on the 6th of the fifth month, being just five weeks from the time I left my own house, and we had to rejoice with humble thankfulness, that during the passage, we were careful to keep our meetings in the great cabin twice a week, in which we felt the presence of our great Lord and Master, and therein were comforted. On the day we landed we had a meeting at Dover to good satisfaction, then took passage in a stage coach to Canterbury the same evening, rested there on seventh-day, and on first-day sat with Friends in their morning and afternoon meetings to some satisfaction; though I had little to say to them, I thought there was a tender people in that city, and William Brown had an open time.

Next morning taking our passage in a stage coach, we reached London the same evening, and continued in and about the city until the 21st of the sixth month, in which time I wrote letters to my wife and particular friends in Pennsylvania, and was several times at each of the meetings in the city. I sat mostly silent, under a great exercise of mind, from a sense of a too forward ministry, which rather disturbed the solemn quiet thereof than ministered instruction to the humble waiting children, of which number I thought there were many in that city; though it seemed delightful to those who loved to hear words eloquently delivered, and to have the itching ear pleased, yet in heart were libertines, and in practice, disorderly walkers. I sometimes thought, that my silent sitting was so ordered for an example to others for a more steady waiting in their own gifts, to know life to arise into dominion in meetings. My exercise increased so, that my sleep seemed to depart from me, and I remained as one sealed up as to ministry, nor had I freedom to go from house to house to dine, or to make many acquaintances, and I was therefore censured by some as singular and narrow. At length I felt great enlargement of heart towards other societies, though my mouth was shut towards our own, and for a time, it seemed as if I must go and have meetings among those who did not profess with us.

One day, as I was walking towards Ratcliff fields for the air, the draft of affection flowed so strong towards some in high stations in government, that I concluded, I must declare the way of life and salvation through Christ Jesus our Lord among them, feeling a greater openness toward them than to Friends; but making a stand, I secretly cried, ah Lord! what then will become of the family whom you drew me here to visit. After a little while, that charge came into my mind very fresh, “Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter you not; but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel,” which brought great sweetness, and an increasing heart-yearning for and love to the household, and made me acknowledge, good are you oh Lord God, for your mercies endure forever and ever. I remembered that Nehemiah quietly viewed the state of Jerusalem by night; and I saw that if I had any service to do in London, the time for it was not yet come. I also remembered what came into my mind at the second meeting I was in after my landing, in which I had but a few sentences to speak, and the motion of life ceased, and I sat down, as I have always found it safe to do, and felt inward poverty and weakness, yet a quiet and attentive mind. My brother, William Brown, had good service and an open time among the people, at which I admired, and said in my heart, he is fit to be sent abroad; but alas! I am one of the meanest servants that was ever sent over the sea to preach the gospel; when this gentle caution came before me, “Mind your own business, and be faithful in your gift, you have a great journey before you and your store is small; live therefore frugally and spend carefully, and covet not another's, and you shall not lack what is convenient for yourself, and something to spare to the needy,” I desired with a humble heart, to be preserved in patience and meekness, becoming a disciple of my great Lord and Master, and therein to wait for renewed instruction and ability to labour without repining in mine own gift, however small.

In a few days I felt some openness towards the west of England, and informed my brother, William Brown, thereof, who, after a little pause, told me that his way opened eastward. On consideration of the matter, we concluded it was best for each of us to mind the pointings of truth, though in some cross to our own wills; for this prospect seemed to part us; and if we should endeavour to go together for a time, and then part, some might judge there was a dislike, or lack of unity between us, and on communing with some of our friends, they were of the same mind; so in much love and affection we took leave of each other.

Understanding there was a yearly meeting to be held in Somersetshire for several of the western counties, and having drawings to attend it, I left London on the 21st of the sixth month, in company with my friend John Hunt, at whose house I lodged, and John Pemberton, who came over sea with us on account of his health, and had a meeting that day at Staines, which was pretty good and open, next at Basingstoke, and so on to Salisbury and Shaftsbury. The last two were dull meetings, which is often the case where Friends are not careful to live near to truth. We reached Ivelchester, the place where the yearly meeting began, on seventh-day in the evening, the 25th of the month; on first-day we had two meetings in the town-hall, and many people being there, meetings were held at the market cross in the street, at the same time. I sat silent that day; on the next there was a meeting of ministers and elders in the morning, in which I had some remarks to make respecting ministry; there were also two public meetings, one of which was dull, the other more open, and on third-day two meetings rather better, when the yearly meeting ended. Some meetings being laid out for me, John Hunt returned to London, but John Pemberton concluded to go with me a few days, and his company was kindly accepted of by me, he being a sober, well inclined young man.

We went to Ilminster, in which the good presence was witnessed much to my comfort, for I saw that the Lord was near, and helped me in my gift by opening the state of the meeting; blessed be his name forever. I also had an evening meeting at Chard, and next day at Yeovil, which was large and open for doctrine; then at Sherborne, on the edge of Dorsetshire; from there we went to visit the wife and children of Jonah Thompson, at Compton, he being in Pennsylvania on a religious visit; I had good satisfaction in the family, and tarried there a day. Then went to the meetings at Long Sutton, Puddimore, Grinton, Glastonbury, Shipton-mallet, and Frome, in which I had mostly close and plain service; yet not without a degree of the sweetness and power of truth, in a sense whereof I was often made humbly thankful to the Lord. Proceeding to Bath, was at the forenoon and afternoon meetings there, and had an evening meeting at Caleb Tyley's, which were owned by truth; but there is a lack of weighty solid Friends in this place, which is much frequented on account of the waters.

From there we went to Bradford and Pickwick meetings; but not being clear at the first, I returned, and had an evening meeting there, to which many came, and it ended to satisfaction. Having a desire to see Friends by themselves, and something on my mind in a close manner to the Society; when I stood up and began to speak, the house was soon almost filled by others, who would wait without, setting someone to watch when there was anything spoken. Upon their coming in, the subject in my view closed, and an opening in a doctrinal way presented, and my mind turned to it, and I believe it was to the satisfaction of some seeking people present.

After I sat down, finding no ease respecting my concern towards Friends, I informed the people that the public service of that meeting was now over, but I had a desire that the members of the meeting would stay a little while; on which a Friend went to the door, and when the others had gone out, shut it, and the Friends mostly kept their seats. In a little time, the state of the meeting came freshly before me again, and I had an opportunity to clear myself in a very plain manner, showing that the greatest enemies to the truth were the professors of it, who did not observe the instructions of the grace of God in their own hearts. For although the doctrine thereof when declared by qualified instruments, was clear and powerfully convincing, having the love and sweetening evidence of truth with it, reaching the witness in their hearts; yet when the eyes of such were turned to behold the steps and conduct of the libertine professors among us, they were stumbled by their example, and such were an offence to the little ones, and their portion is hinted at by our Lord, when he says, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones who believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

From there we went to Westbury and Lavington meetings, and to the quarterly meeting for Wiltshire, held at Devizes, which began on the first-day of the week, by two meetings for public worship, and one in the evening for ministers and elders, and next day for worship and business. I could see no time or room to clear myself to advantage for lack of more stillness; the service of meetings may be hurt for lack of silence, and the minds of people become too unsettled to understand and hear to profit; in a sense whereof, I left this place with a heavy heart, and went to Chippenham, Corsham, Charlcot and Melksham meetings. Besides these I had three evening meetings, one at Pickwick, in a school house belonging to Thomas Bennet, with his scholars and others; one at John Fry's, of Sutton Benjar, and the other at Samuel Rutty's; some of which were good meetings.

Leaving Wiltshire, we passed through Bradford and Bath, and came to Bristol on the 22nd of the month, where I tarried until first-day, the 7th of the eighth month, constantly attending their meetings as they came in course, and visiting several families as truth opened my way. My spirit was bowed very low in this city, under a sense of a declension and falling away from truth, into pride, high mindedness, and the spirit of the world, and a conformity to the vain customs and fashions thereof, of which I frequently made mention amongst them. I was at their two weeks' meeting for business, and the quarterly meeting for inspecting the affairs of truth, and laboured much to encourage them to hold weekly meetings for ministers and elders, in order to inquire how meetings for worship were attended by public Friends, and whether their ministry was acceptable, and the lives and conversations of ministers and elders correspondent with their doctrine and profession, which care they had dropped for sometime. I was at sixteen meetings in this city, and one at Frenchay, and visited Anthony Purver's boarding school at that place, and being easy to leave Bristol for the present, we went to Chewmagna, in Somersetshire, and had a religious opportunity in John Hipsley's family, and the next day a meeting at Portishead, an evening meeting at James Players', then to Claverham, Sidcot and Mark, some of which were good meetings. A few elderly Friends here live near truth, and there was a visitation to the youth, several of whom appeared tender and growing in religion; though many professors are seeking after the gain, love and friendship of the world, not enough considering that godliness with contentment, is the best gain.

Our next meeting was at Bridgewater, then at Taunton, and we were comforted together with Friends in their morning and afternoon meetings; in the divine presence there is life, and the living are made able to praise the Lord, who is worthy. From there passing to Minehead, Milverton, Wellington, Spiceland, Columpton, having a meeting at each place, we came to Exeter, in Devonshire, and attended three meetings there on first-day, in each of which I had something to offer; but was much depressed under an apprehension of the prevalence of a deistical spirit over some, which, with the indifference of others about religion, and a light forward zeal in some others, without the deep, inward, baptizing knowledge of truth, occasioned the pure and ever blessed power thereof to be at a low ebb in that city. When the children of the Lord know him, their Redeemer, to live in them by his heavenly power, they also live thereby, and feelingly know his truth and precious testimony, and by this knowledge are influenced with a holy, humble zeal, in love and meekness to work in his vineyard, the church, to the honour of God and the edification and restoration one of another.

Leaving Exeter, we went to Topsham and had a dark dull meeting, and at a Friend's house, one who, as I understood, could not spare time to attend the meeting, asked me if I was ever in New England, and whether I could inform him what sort of a country it was, adding, I have heard people say that the corn, that is wheat, will not ripen there, but is smitten with a rotting mildew, which blasts the wheat in the ear. I suddenly felt that I had need of being careful in answering, but knew not why. I answered with caution, that I had seen wheat in that country which looked to be well grown, but in the ear where grain should be, there was little else but a black smut in form of a grain. I have heard, said he, that it would bear full, good wheat formerly, and what can now be the cause why it is blasted, did you ever hear? I related to him the following passage I had heard: Two persons had a curiosity to see the old prison, from which those Friends who were hanged at Boston for their religious testimony and principles, were led to execution, and an inhabitant of the town, going with them, brought them to the prison. One of the men said to their guide, ‘Is this the old jail where the Friends lay who were hanged?’ An old woman who sat knitting at the door, though not spoken to, answered, yes it is, and we feelingly know it, for a curse has been on the land ever since, so that it will not bear wheat without a blasting, and we are beholden to other colonies for bread. He replied with an air of jesting, “I have heard so, but I believe nothing of it.” I told him we might observe, that the Almighty sometimes manifested his displeasure on a people or nation, by famine, the sword, or pestilence, for their transgressions, if we had a belief in the Sacred Writings of the Old Testament. He said it could not be, that the Almighty who is love in perfection, and in himself infinitely happy forever, should delight in severity, and take vengeance on man the workmanship of his hand; some who are narrow in their way of thinking might believe such things, but for his part, he had ideas more noble of the Deity, than to believe such notions. I perceived he was a Deist, and did not regard the Scriptures, and that it would be vain to say much to him; having often thought it was very difficult to say anything to reach those low free-thinkers, who exercise themselves in the wisdom which is from beneath, and dwell safely in their own imaginations and conceits, whose communication is often infectious to others, and to be perceived in the meetings and neighbourhoods where they reside.

From there we went to Bovy, Newtonbushel, Totness and Kingsbridge. At the last, after the morning and afternoon meetings, we had one in the evening with Friends selected, which was to satisfaction. Hearing of one family that lived many miles from any meeting, I had a desire to see them, and went there. I let the Friend know, that I came there on purpose to see him and his family, and should be glad to have them come together and be still a little while, desiring it might be soon, for we intended to go that night to Plymouth. He said it would not answer them at that time, his children being employed in pressing out cider. I let him know, that I hoped I should not detain them long, and if they lightened the press, the cider would not run over; but could not prevail with him, though I informed him, that I had left all my business, and had come some thousand miles to see my friends in this nation, and hearing how remote he lived from meeting, had a particular mind to see him. He replied that he should be glad it had suited them, but could not put his business by at that time. With a heavy heart I left his house and went to Plymouth, where we had a meeting next day; then to Germains, Liscard, Loe, Austil and Denny's, in Cornwall, at which last place the people are mostly employed in the tin mines, and we had a pretty good meeting, a visit from a Friend being acceptable to them, and they willing to leave their business, though poor people. From there we proceeded to the Land's End, intending to take the meetings on our return, and were at Penzance meeting on sixth-day. At this meeting my companion, John Pemberton, spoke a few words in way of testimony, tender and broken, being the first time, and I thought had a good degree of the savour of truth attending.

On seventh-day we went to visit an ancient Friend, sick and bed ridden, near the Land's End, where formerly there had been a meeting; returned in the evening to Penzance; on first-day had a meeting at Marazion in the morning, and at Penzance in the evening.

We then turned eastward, and attended a meeting at Falmouth, and five others in this county of Cornwall; then passed through Devonshire, taking a meeting at Oakhampton, and twelve others in Somersetshire, some of which were large and open. Many seeking people came to the meetings at Bridgewater, and I hope some of those opportunities were through divine favour profitable to some of them; and not being easy in my mind to leave this county without being at the quarterly meeting for business to be held at Glastonbury, I returned there, and was concerned to lay before Friends the declining state of the Society in that county, and to exhort them to put the discipline in practice, that the church might be cleared from disorders which caused reproach. It was thought by Friends to be the most solid quarterly meeting which had been held in that county for many years.

From there we went to Cain, in Wiltshire, and were at their meeting on first-day the 16th of the tenth month, where we met our friend and countryman, Daniel Stanton, from Philadelphia, in the course of his religious visit, and were glad in each other's company, though the meetings both forenoon and afternoon were but dull; the people looking for words, were disappointed.

The next day we went together to a monthly meeting at Chippenham; the meeting for worship was held in the meeting house; at the conclusion of which Friends rose and went out. I asked them where they were going, for I felt very uneasy, they said to do the business of the meeting, and feeling a strong engagement to be with them while they transacted the affairs of the church, I followed them, though it rained very fast. They went into a spacious house where a room was prepared for the purpose, and a good fire. I sat down with them, though sorely distressed; they seemed to do the business in a formal ready way; I endeavoured to press them to weightiness of spirit, that they might feel the state of the Society, and the need there was to put the discipline in practice, for religion was at a low ebb in that county. They seemed not to understand me, and indeed I found but little room or openness to say much to them; they soon finished their business. When I rose up and moved for going away, they informed me that Friends stayed to dine where the business was transacted, and that the Friends of the house would think it very strange if I went away. They told the woman that the Friend was going away; she met me in the hall, and said I must not go before I took dinner; I told her I should, for that I had not freedom to stay to eat or drink in the house; she asked me why? I pressingly desired her to inquire of the truth in her own heart, and she might find the cause, so I went away, and a Friend followed me out, and showed me the way to his house where I left my horse, and there I found Daniel Stanton and my companion, who went not to the meeting for business. Daniel informed me, that he followed us to the door, but could not go in, for he thought he felt the life of truth struck at, or trampled upon in that house, and therefore returned to the other where we had left our horses, and John Pemberton with him. I was glad that he had such a sense, and he expressed satisfaction that I did not stay to dine, so we dined together, after which Daniel went westward, and we towards London, taking several meetings in our way, and arrived there the 31st of the tenth month, and stayed in the city until the 25th of the eleventh month.

I carefully visited all the meetings, in great awfulness, being bowed in spirit under a sense of a forward ministry, and sat chiefly in silence among them. I also attended their meetings for discipline; namely, one quarterly meeting, the monthly, two-weeks, second-day morning meetings, and meeting for sufferings, and was in much heaviness of mind, having a sense of a great neglect in some who were active members, in not waiting for a true qualification to act for the honour of God and edification of the church; nevertheless there is a remnant who are concerned to seek his honour, and to wait for the influence of his divine spirit and power, to whom I was, at times, concerned to speak by way of encouragement. To transact the weighty affairs of the church in as light and easy a manner as men commonly buy and sell in a market, will always rather bring death over a meeting than life.

We left London on the 26th of the eleventh month, and went to Chelmsford, in Essex, and the next day sat with Friends in their forenoon and afternoon meetings, to pretty good satisfaction, through the goodness and power of the Lord, whose presence was measurably felt among us to the praise of his ever worthy name. Taking meetings as regularly as we could, we visited that county in twenty-four days, and had twenty-three public meetings and some family sittings. My service for truth in this county was in a close plain way, mostly with but few words; for it often appeared to me, that there was a greater desire to hear, than to put in practice those things they were exhorted to, for which I often mourned, and had a strong sympathy with the few sensible, baptized Friends amongst them.

We then passed to Ipswich, in Suffolk, and had a meeting with Friends there to some satisfaction, there being a tender sincere remnant among them; and taking the east part of the county, we had ten meetings, and visited several indisposed Friends to good satisfaction.

Then went to Yarmouth, in Norfolk, and after attending their meetings in the morning and afternoon on first-day, had a large satisfactory one the same evening, many of the people of the town coming to it; then going to Norwich, we tarried with Friends there about a week, in which time I had four meetings in that city, and one at Lammas, near it; and also visited several indisposed Friends, and had satisfaction therein. Intending to visit all the meetings in Norfolk county, a Friend undertook to lay them out for me, and made a list of them, of which he gave me a copy, and told me it was the way to take the meetings with the least travelling. I felt a strait in my mind, which I had always found safe for me to attend to until I saw a way open, and being thoughtful about it, I desired him to inform me, what meeting bore most to the north-east from that place; he told me it was North Walsham. I desired him to begin there, and name the meetings most regular afterwards, and I would tell him if the list felt pleasant as he went on; he then proceeded, and we readily finished one which was easy to me. I desired him to set down the distances as he had done in the other, and on comparing them, we found the last to be at least three miles less riding; he seemed to be pleased, and said it was not the usual way of taking those meetings. I was willing to lay out nine, but told him, I was not easy to venture the giving public notice further, that perhaps the weather might be difficult. He said there would be a general meeting in a few days, when Friends from many meetings would be together, and likely to have full notice very easily given for a few meetings further, which he thought I had best leave to him; so we went forward to North Walsham and had a satisfactory meeting, and taking the meetings in course, came to the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders at Norwich.

The Friend who laid out the meetings informed me, that if I had taken them according to his first list, I should have interfered with a public Friend at several, who was then on a visit, and he thought there was a hand of Providence in turning me; for as we were both strangers, we should have been straitened through a tender regard to each other's service; he likewise let me know, that he did not remember that their quarterly meeting began the next day after the meeting beyond which I told him I was not free to appoint any, and that having sent the list to a Friend to publish at the general meeting before mentioned, he had been obliged to attend that meeting to stop the notice respecting the few meetings he talked of, otherwise I should have missed the quarterly meeting, and he thought it would teach him to be more cautious in future. I mention this occurrence with a degree of reverent thankfulness and humility, with no other view than to encourage those ministers who are called forth to visit the churches, diligently and innocently to attend to the motion of truth, which the more we are humbled and inwardly quiet, the clearer it is understood and felt; but as this is instruction for ourselves, it is safer for us to treasure it up in our own hearts, than to make it too cheap by talking thereof to others. This quarterly meeting, both in respect to public worship and transacting the affairs of truth, was held to satisfaction, through the Lord's favour, who will be near to them that diligently seek him, blessed be his name forever!

Then taking Elkingham meeting, we went to Thetford, and had a meeting with Friends there, both which were distressing, from a sense of the prevalence of a ranting spirit. Here it appeared expedient to lay out meetings for the ensuing week, in order that suitable notice might be given; and as they were named to me in course by Friends, I felt a remarkable desire to see the Friends of one certain meeting by themselves, at or near the eleventh hour of the day, although quite a stranger to their situation, numbers, or state; and a Friend being present belonging to that meeting, I requested her care about it, and then went to Edmondsbury, and attended the meetings there on the first-day morning and afternoon, which were in the main satisfactory; and in the evening had a meeting with a sick Friend. In this town there is a considerable number of hopeful Friends.

We then went to Ratlesden, Bardwell, and through Livermore to Brand, the place where I had the desire to see Friends by themselves, as before mentioned, and coming to the Friend's house whose wife had been entrusted with the notice, I asked her if it was not time to go to the meeting, she said, you must ask my husband, appearing to be distressed. I asked where he was, she replied in his warehouse, and sent for him; he coming after a while, I suppose about twelve o'clock, I asked him the time of the meeting, he answered at six in the evening, to be sure. I told him that I had informed his wife of my desire that it should be at eleven; he replied, she said so, but I thought it would be dishonourable, for few only would attend it at that time, for the people of that town were chiefly such as were obliged to do their day's work, which would be finished at six o'clock in the evening, when the house would be nearly full. I told him, I did desire to see Friends by themselves, and supposed they could meet at any hour; he granted that they could have met at the time proposed; but said he was a man of a more liberal spirit than to want to eat his morsel alone, but was desirous his neighbours should partake with him, and thought it his duty to endeavour to inform and help those whom he apprehended were backward or ignorant in the performance of their duty; and he said that the end and intent of ministers going forth was to publish the gospel, and he thought, to the more the better. I let him know that it was necessary for those who were called to the work of the ministry, to know also to whom they were called, or otherwise they might be mistaken, and go north instead of south, or to a different nation or country; he answered, that he believed if they were rightly called, the spirit would inform them where they were to go. I replied very well, and when they are come to the right place, the spirit would let them know what they have to do; he said, I believe so too. Whereupon I told him, if I knew the language of that spirit that called me from my native land to Old England, it was the same that inclined me to see the Friends of that town by themselves, and afterwards if I felt an enlargement of mind, could have proposed a public meeting with the town's people in the evening. And why not one opportunity for both? he queried, adding, “for I should be willing that all the town might hear what you can have to say to us.” I then said to him, “if a certain great person on whom your prosperity in all things temporal did absolutely depend, should in singular kindness to you, send a messenger to acquaint or advise you of some matter relating to yourself in your own particular conduct, in which your prosperity, peace and interest would, without your immediate care, be nearly affected, would you judge it prudent to say to the ambassador of such a friend, deliver not your message to me, until I call my neighbours and the people of the town to hear it, and so expose your own weakness to your disadvantage, without benefit to your neighbours? Consider it carefully, my heart yearns to the professors of truth in this town, and it seems to me that my business at present was only with them, and as I can not have an opportunity according to my freedom and desire, I shall hold myself excused.” He answered, if nothing but a meeting with Friends will do, we must send them word to come together as soon as they can; I told him that would now by no means do; for he was at present so chafed in his mind, that he could not hear to much advantage. He then asked me what end would be answered by my coming there? I told him to detect such heady unsound members as he was, that thought it dishonourable for a few Friends to meet together to worship God, though their number was more than two or three, to whom the promise was. He said, then what will become of the meeting? I let him know he must look to that, who had without orders appointed it, and so left him and went to Mildenhall, where a Friend told me he was at the meeting aforesaid, when public notice was given, and it was on this wise; “Friends and neighbours! please to take notice, that a Friend from America desires a public meeting here on Wednesday next, at six o'clock in the evening;” which circumstance I did not know when I was at his house. On the whole I had inward peace in my observations and conduct to this man, and many Friends rejoiced; for several had been overborne by him to their grief; and I was since informed, that he laid the matter to heart, and was often heard to say, that he would not serve any Friend so again.

We had many meetings in this county, and passing into Cambridgeshire, had eight meetings therein, and I thought the life of religion was low in general, though there are a few tender Friends in several places; we then went to meetings in Huntingdonshire, Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire, in which it was mostly my lot to point out to Friends the danger they were in of losing the pure savour of truth, for lack of humbly attending to the dictates thereof in their own hearts, which had already occasioned a dwarfishness among the professors in those parts.

Several Friends met us at Waltham Abbey, from London, with whom we went to that city, in order to attend the yearly meeting, which began on the 26th, and ended on the sixth-day of the week, the 31st of the third month, 1751, and in the several sittings thereof, both for public worship and the transaction of the affairs of truth, was thought, by many, to be the most weighty and solid meeting that had been known for many years; which was cause of humble rejoicing and deep thankfulness to many Friends, in that the Lord had vouchsafed his heavenly presence in wisdom and power, to the praise of his sacred name.

Several Friends staying in the city after the meeting was over, we had a large and satisfactory one on the seventh-day of the week, and I tarried, attending various meetings until the 6th of the fourth month; then went to Chelmsford, and sat with Friends in their morning and afternoon meetings on first-day; and from there to the yearly meeting at Colchester; but being taken ill of a fever, was prevented attending more than one sitting of that meeting; yet through mercy was resigned, and had peace. Stayed their meeting in that town on the fifth-day of the week, and the next day set forward with my brother, William Brown, John Griffith and my companion, in order to attend Woodbridge yearly meeting, which began on the 17th of the month, and although the fever had not left me, I was enabled to attend every sitting of it, which was a large and solid meeting throughout, and friends were refreshed together; praised be the Lord! whose mercy is great to his people. My companion, John Pemberton, went with my brother to some adjacent meetings, but I stayed the week-day meeting in this town, which was through divine favour satisfactory. We met again at the yearly meeting at Norwich, in a few days, which concluded to satisfaction, and Friends were made truly thankful to the Lord for this additional favour; we spent a few days longer at this city, and attended their monthly meeting; after which, having a desire to visit a few meetings in company with my brother, William Brown, where ranterism seemed to prevail, he having the like concern, we took a monthly meeting at Wimondham, also the meetings at Matssil and Ellnigham, in which we were concerned to use great plainness to clear ourselves on account of that ranting spirit.

Then went to Wareham, and had a precious meeting with the few Friends of that place, and to a very large general meeting at Downham, many of other societies being there; and it became my concern to recite the words of our blessed Lord, “Search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life, and they are they which testify of me, and you will not come to me that you might have life;” from which I had to show them the danger of trusting to information and knowledge, whether by reading the Scriptures, or hearing them preached, and neglecting to attend to the in-speaking voice of Christ immediately in the heart, which is the only sure interpreter of the Scriptures, leading those who attend to his instruction, in the sure way to life eternal.

Then parting with William Brown, we went to Wisbich and Thornyfenn, in Cambridgeshire, and taking meetings in Lincolnshire, we passed into the East-riding of Yorkshire, in which we had twenty-four meetings, and taking eight in the county of Durham, we came to Shields, in Northumberland, New Castle and Alnwick Abbey, and reached Kelso, in Scotland, on the 1st of the seventh month, where we met Susanna Fothergill, on her return home. We attended the morning and afternoon meetings at Kelso, on first-day.

Alas! truth is here at a low ebb, and feeling my mind not to be clear of Friends in this place, I desired to have a select meeting with them, which Susanna and her companion attended, and we had an opportunity of clearing ourselves of Friends there, who had much fallen from the simplicity of the pure truth, into the modes, fashions and customs of the world, in their dress, language and manners; and truth owned our service with a degree of its divine authority; blessed be the Lord, the God of truth! We then went to a meeting at the house of John Cristy, at Ormston, to which many people came and behaved quietly, and the doctrine of truth opened pretty freely to them. From there to a meeting at Edinburgh, in which I had a sense that silence was best, apprehending the people had been too much fed with words. After sometime one stood up, and spoke of the excellence of resignation in ministers to speak, or contentedly to be silent; to be anything, or nothing, as the Lord was pleased to order. A secret distressing fear attended my mind, that he was not enough inwardly engaged to distinguish the order and motion of the Spirit of Truth, from the busy imagination and will of the creature, unsubjected to the Divine Spirit. I found a concern to show the nature of true resignation, and the low humble quiet that attended the minds of ministers, or hearers, who had come to the real knowledge of it; the desire of such was turned unto the Lord only for heavenly instruction and an inward evidence of the life and motion of truth; for lack of which, true gospel ministry was sometimes obstructed, and the reason of silence not fully understood. After I sat down, the same person again stood up, and in a flow of words and a zealous tone, said that weakness, or the lack of experience, led people to mistake both their own and the condition of others; as he appeared to me to be actuated by a confident, ranting spirit, my mind was greatly exercised after the meeting.

I remained at this place the two following days, being detained by rainy weather, and attended the meeting in the morning of first-day, at which I sat silent; but the same person spoke some time in words very encouraging to the auditory, as if all was well with them, which tended to increase the exercise of my mind, having a very different sense of the state of the meeting. I again attended their meeting in the afternoon, when the same person seemed as if he intended soon to stand up; but feeling the testimony of truth strong against that forward ranting spirit, and the sense thereof being weighty upon me, I endeavoured to keep under it in patience, and soon the concern of that person began to diminish, and he to be drowsy, after which I had a favourable open time to clear my mind of the exercise that had been upon me.

Next day we passed over the Frith about seven miles broad, landed at Kinghorn, and rode to a town called Cowper, and the day following reached the house of one who esteemed himself a Friend, near Montross, where we endeavoured to have a meeting, but he would not allow it, alledging, that it would do his people, or servants no good, and as for himself, he thought he knew as much of the truth as we could inform him. Indeed he seemed so whole and self-righteous, I thought it would not avail to say much to him. We were informed by a person who accompanied us a few miles, that this man, in his younger years, had a public testimony to bear for the truth, but had for a long time left it off, as he worded it, and now his men servants must not approach him with their heads covered. “If the light in you become darkness, how great is that darkness.”

From there we went to Ury, the seat of Robert Barclay, grandson to the Apologist; but had no meeting until we came to the Old-town, near a mile north of Aberdeen, which was through the goodness of the Lord, somewhat strengthening. From there went to John Elmslie's, at Old Meldrum, and on first-day morning attended Killmuck meeting, and in the evening one at Old Meldrum, to which many people came, and through divine favour, these meetings were satisfactory. The next day we had a select meeting with Friends, of whom there are several here who are tender and valuable, and we parted in love. Going to Kingswells, had a meeting there with many Friends and others, truth owning the service, which was cause of humble rejoicing. Continuing at and near Aberdeen, we had a large meeting on first-day at Robert Barclay's. Although the descendants and children of Friends who were as bright stars in their day, may value themselves on the worthiness of their parents, yet if they do not love and serve the God of their fathers with a perfect heart and an upright mind, he will not own them with his heavenly presence, but they will be as unsavoury salt.

We set forward on our return towards England, taking two meetings in our way to Glasgow, where, on first-day, we had also two which were large, open and satisfactory. Many tender inquiring people came, who behaved well, and in the evening of the same day, we had another with those called Friends, by themselves, having a concern to lay before them the need they had to look to their ways and conduct, that they might be as lights and good examples among the people in that place, who were seekers after the truth, and not give them occasion of stumbling through an evil conduct. We went to Carlisle, in Cumberland, Morehouse, Scoby, Solport and Kirklington, in most of which meetings truth seemed to be professed, but too few had the life thereof in possession, which occasions hard dry meetings.

We rode to Cornwood, in Northumberland, and lodged at the house of a man who had been for several years of a disorderly conduct, and much given to the excessive use of strong drink, until he had very much impaired his constitution. But it pleased the Lord to open his understanding, and make him acquainted with his blessed truth, whereby he was made free from that evil, and received strength to forsake his old companions. His joining with Friends was a great grief to his wife, who informed me, that through prejudice for a time, she would rather he had continued his former course of living, than to become a Quaker, until observing the sweetness of his temper and the recovery of his health in some degree, with a solid and sober conduct, she was made to believe in the power by which he had known such a victory, and joined herself in the same religious profession; they appeared to be steady Friends. I would to God that all tipplers and drunkards would turn to that great Prophet who is in Israel, that they might by him be cleansed from that leprosy of sin! We had a comfortable meeting the next day in his house, with his neighbours and some Friends; and on first-day were at Allendale meeting, where are some solid Friends, though others much tainted with a spirit of ranterism, which is a confident, self-righteous spirit, and very hard to be won upon. After having a meeting at Aldstinmoor, we passed to the meetings at Penrith, in Cumberland, Terril and Strickland, which is in a corner of Westmoreland. It was with some difficulty we had the meeting at Terril, a man of that place saying, he thought it needless, or questioned whether it would be to advantage, as most of their members had been at Penrith meeting. But after the meeting, he desired I would not think hardly of him for endeavouring to discourage me, owning that he was mistaken. I cautioned him to be more careful in future, how he discouraged such who had come so many thousand miles to visit them.

Having meetings at several places in the week following, I travelled in great pain and anguish of mind, from a sense of the prevalence of a dark, deistical spirit over many of the professors of truth, of which concern the Lord was pleased to give me strength and understanding to clear myself both in public and private; there is no power but his, that can enable his servants to do his work, and is over all the powers of satan.

On the next first-day we were at Holme meeting; in the forenoon I sat silent, one of the stock of the old ranters was there and very troublesome, accusing many Friends, no doubt falsely; and in the afternoon meeting I had not much to say, believing that ranting spirit is rather fed with words, and delights in contention. I found it my place to exhort Friends to retire deeply inward in all their meetings, humbly waiting to be admitted into the heavenly presence, to know their place of feeding to be out of the reach of such ranting spirits; for if they allowed their own spirits to rise or resist their ill usage, the meeting would be the more disquieted. Our next meetings were at Allonby and Broughton, from which I went home with our friend Christopher Wilson, to his house at Graysothen, and the next day attended the burial of a young man at Pardsay Hall, and the day following, the burial of a young woman at the same place, both of which meetings were very large and solid, and I hope through Divine goodness profitable to many.

The first-day of the following week, we were at two meetings at Whitehaven, in both which I had some service under the influence and owning of truth. We put up our horses at a Friend's house, who had been used to lodge public Friends, but I was not free to tarry there, being burdened with the manner of his entertainment, which was with a superfluity and grandeur, no way becoming the simplicity of truth. After showing my dislike therewith, I went to the house of John Harris, at Highfield, his wife being with us, and rested there a day, the weather being exceedingly rainy.

Then going to the meetings at Cockermouth, Isel and Graysothen, we returned to Cockermouth and had a meeting with Friends by themselves, that is, without giving public notice, which was through divine favour to good satisfaction. Resting another day with our friend John Harris, we went to meetings at Pardsay Hall and at Keswick, at which last I was concerned to exhort the few Friends there to keep up their week-day meeting, having a fear they were very slack on that account. We lodged at an inn, where we had the company of some of those Friends, and in particular one who was a public Friend. Some of them said if he would attend the week-day meeting, they believed the rest of them would; which gave me occasion to observe to him, that he did not example well, and ought to be more careful, as he had a public testimony to bear for truth. He replied that he was obliged to be industrious to support his family; but at last confessed, that “He did not like to sit with so few Friends, for none else would come on a week-day, and it was very dull and poor sitting, and he liked to sit in meetings where there were many assembled, for then he had something to say, so life did arise and all were comforted and edified.”

It appeared that he had greater satisfaction in preaching, than in humble silent waiting to experience the worship which is performed in spirit and truth, to edification and comfort. I told him that I feared he was too much a stranger to pure religion and the nature of divine worship.

From there we went to Hawkshead, in Lancashire, and had an evening meeting there in a Friend's house, and next day were at the Hight meeting, and then at Swarthmore, where George Fox formerly lived. Though it had been famous for the prosperity of truth, it is now at a low state there. We went to Kendal, in Westmoreland, where we attended their two meetings on the first-day of the week; and after taking some other meetings in the neighbourhood, returned to that town, in and about which we tarried several days, and visited more than twenty families and attended ten public meetings, many of which opportunities were made precious through the goodness and great condescension of our Lord and Saviour. In the school of our friend Thomas Rebanks, I had an extraordinary meeting; where many young folks not of our Society were reached by the power of Truth, which was comfortably over all, praised be the Lord forever. In the course of our visiting families here, during our silent sitting in one of them, my mind was much taken up in thinking of a watch, and the several wheels and movements thereof, until I was grieved at such trifling thoughts, as I esteemed them, when suddenly there appeared something instructive therein, and I had a freedom to say, the several parts thereof seemed to represent the excellent faculties and gifts bestowed on man. Though the wheels, etc., of a watch were truly made, and placed in their proper order, yet there must be a main-spring to give them motion; so the gifts and faculties of men must have their main-spring and cause of motion to every good work, a zeal to the honour of the Lord their Creator, and a fervent holy desire to answer the end of their creation; and as there is a regulating spring to a watch, so also there should be the true knowledge of God and of themselves experienced in his light, to preserve from going too fast, knowing by his heavenly instruction, that no wisdom, zeal, strength or ability, will enable to do the Lord's work to his honour and the good of man, but that which God gives. In order that a watch may answer the end intended by its maker, there is a visible face and hands to discover the inward motion, thereby showing time; so it is needful that a man should be a co-worker with the spirit and gift of grace in his heart, that others beholding the light thereof might be taught to glorify God, and in his light so to number his days and walk in his fear, as to die in his favour. As a zeal for the cause of truth and a fear of falling short of duty, may at times prompt man to rush on too fast, it is needful that he should wait in humble reverence to feel the love of God, and the influence of that knowledge and wisdom which is from above, and experienced by those who are spiritual, that the end of all their labour may be in the spirit of meekness to restore those who are overtaken in error. In order that men may dwell in that which gives ability to labour with success in the church of Christ, it is needful that their minds should be enclosed in the bosom of truth, in humble retirement, to be preserved from the various tumults, cumbers, cares and temptations of the world, which would otherwise clog their minds and deprive them of their true spiritual sense and motion. So in a watch it is needful that all the inward parts, which are so curious, should be enclosed from damps, vapours, motes and dust, otherwise it would thereby be deprived of its motion and become useless for keeping time.

My intent in this relation is to show the infinite condescension of Him whose mercy is over all his works, to instruct the children of men, each as it were, in his own tongue or language, suitable to his understanding; the man being by trade a watch-maker. He seemed to be tenderly reached, and we parted in a degree of sweetness; it was the Lord's doing and marvellous to me, praised be his holy name forever!

Being clear of Kendal, we took leave of Friends in much affection and went to a general meeting at Brigflatts, in Yorkshire, and to visit our friend Alice Alderson, who had been on a religious visit in our country with Margaret Cowpland, whom we had before seen at Kendal, where she lives. Alice was glad to see us, and we found her tender in spirit and strong in her love to Friends. After attending meetings at Ravenstonedale and Grisedale, we rode to our friend John Burton's, who with his companion William Backhouse, had also been in our country on a religious visit; we rejoiced to see him, and were comforted by his grave conversation and conduct.

We then went to a meeting at Dent, which was large and favoured by the overshadowing of truth, through the loving kindness of our Lord, who is worthy of all praise forever! Taking several meetings in Lancashire, and tarrying two days with our friend William Backhouse, which was an acceptable rest to us, the weather being very cold, the ways bad and we weary, we came to Lancaster, and had an opportunity of visiting our friend Lydia Lancaster, who several years past had visited our country; her faculties of mind and love to Friends appeared fresh and strong.

From there attending some other meetings in that county, we went to our friend Samuel Fothergill's, at Warrington, where we continued from the 2nd to the 14th of the first month, new style, 1752. He and Susanna his wife, being tender and kindly affectionate, we were refreshed in their company, having several meetings in that town and at Penketh, some whereof were made precious by the ownings of truth. After many other meetings in this county and Yorkshire, we reached Richmond, and had a meeting with Friends there, and next morning set forward with a guide for Masham, in order to attend a meeting there, of which Friends had previous notice. The distance was nearly sixteen miles, the days short and roads deep and miry; after we had road five or six miles, I desired our guide to mend his pace, fearing we should be late.

A little further on we came to a place where the roads parted, and he taking the left hand I became uneasy, and asked him if he perfectly knew the way. He said he thought he did. I let him know my being in doubt about it, and desired him to inquire of a man we saw in a field at some distance; but he rode on yet faster. I told him that I was persuaded we had almost turned our backs on the way we should go, at which he smiled; but when we had gone about a mile, seeing a man by the way-side at work, I asked him if that was the way to Masham; he replied, no, you have left it and must go back, unless your horses can leap over ditches, you may then save a mile, and pointing over a field showed us a moor, on the other side whereof our right road was. Our guide set forward, we followed with some difficulty over the ditches, and he rode on a gallop and soon left us. My mind inclined me to vary from his course, and espying a gate, called to him, pointing to it and proceeded there, on which he turned and came up, but said he believed we were wrong. I let him know that my mind was easy to go that way, and in a while we came into a road at a public house, which he knew to be right. We just reached the meeting in time, which through divine favour was profitable and edifying. I mention this passage with no other view than to encourage Friends to be inward in their minds, and to regard the secret sense which the pure Spirit of Truth sometimes gives on particular occasions: for lack of an inward stillness and attention thereto, the way is often missed in more respects than one.

At Masham we lodged at the house of John Kelden, who related to me something that passed between a knight of the shire and one of his tenants, a member of our religious Society, as follows:

Landlord.—So John, you are busy?

Tenant.—Yes, my landlord loves to see his tenants busy.

Landlord.—But John, where were you that you we not at your quarterly meeting at York the other day, I saw most of your staunch Friends there, but you I missed?[2]

Tenant.—Why you know I have a curious landlord, who loves to see his tenants thrive and pay their rent duly, and I had a good deal in hand that kept me at home.

Landlord.—Kept you at home! You will neither thrive nor pay the better for neglecting your duty, John.

Tenant.—Then I perceive my landlord was at quarterly meeting, how did you like it?

Landlord.—Like it! I was at one meeting and saw what made my heart ache.

Tenant.—-What was that?

Landlord.—Why the dress of your young folks, the men with their wigs, and young women with their finery, in imitation of the fashions; and I thought I would try another meeting, so next day I went again, and then I concluded there was little difference but the bare name, between us whom you call the world's people, and some of you; for you are imitating us in the love and fashions of the world as fast as you can; so that I said in my heart, these people need a Fox, a Penn and a Barclay among them, and so turned from his tenant.

I thought it would be a pity that the true and solid remark of this man should be lost, understanding that it was rather expressed in pity than derision.

From Masham we proceeded to visit many other meetings in this county, and called to see good old John Richardson, who was strong in spirit, though feeble in body, and nearly blind through age, being about eighty-seven.

Finding a draft to visit Friends once more at Scarborough, we were there on first-day the 15th of the third month, and had peace in my own mind, having done what I thought was my duty; but from a sense of the prevalence of pride, which had occasioned a great poverty as to true religion among the professors of truth in that place, I left them with an aching heart, and went on our journey in order to attend the quarterly meeting at York, taking meetings in our way. The several sittings of this quarterly meeting were in the main satisfactory, but not having time fully to clear myself, I did not leave York quite easy; after which having had a number of meetings, we attended the quarterly meeting at Lancaster, which began on the fifth-day of the week with a meeting of ministers and elders, and was comfortable; next day was the meeting for public worship and the discipline, wherein we were made to rejoice together and praise the name of the Lord who is worthy forever. Went to Kendal quarterly meeting, which was satisfactory and very large; then set out for the quarterly meeting for Cumberland, held at Carlisle, which began with a meeting of ministers and elders; next day were held two public meetings, and the day following a meeting for discipline, which ended in the afternoon with another for worship; and going home with Christopher Wilson, we were at a good meeting at Pardsay Hall on first-day.

My mind had been for sometime drawn towards Ireland, and being desirous to lose no time, we went to Whitehaven, several vessels being there for Dublin; but on viewing them I had no freedom to take a passage, at which I was much straitened. Turning my mind inward, Ireland was hid from my view, and going to the house of a Friend, we sat a while still, and I had freedom to let Friends know that I had no prospect but the vessels might go their voyage with safety, and did not decline a passage on that account; but feeling a full stop in my mind, had no freedom to proceed any where at present, save to return with our friends John and Hannah Harris, to Highfield. We therefore returned with them, and attended Pardsay Hall monthly meeting, where I had freedom to propose that Friends would enter on the service of visiting families. They informed me that some years before they had nominated Friends for that service, but meeting with some discouragement, they had not performed it; and being about to turn over the book to see who were then appointed, considering it was a long time since, they concluded it was better to proceed to a new choice, but seemed at a stand about naming Friends.

I had a freedom to let them know, that although I was a stranger, I could point out some who I believed would answer the service if they would submit to it. After a solid pause, a Friend said, As our Friend has the matter before him, I am free that he should choose for us; to which I replied, that being a stranger to their members, one might be chosen who was under some impediment, and therefore it would be safer for the meeting to choose; but perceiving they were at a loss, I pointed out a few Friends in great fear, with a single eye to the sense which I did believe truth gave me, and the clerk took their names; a Friend said he believed it was the truth which had made the choice. I then mentioned, that if they could soon enter upon the service, I found a freedom to accompany them therein, if Friends had unity therewith, which several expressed, some women Friends being also named by their meeting to join in it. Before the service was much proceeded in, a heavy concern came upon me from a secret sense I had, that one of them was under the censure of some, by which I feared her service would be laid waste, unless it could be removed.

Although I had no intimation of anything of the kind from any person, I became heavily exercised, and at length requested a Friend to invite the man and his wife to dine with him; who I apprehended were uneasy with the woman, and I desired her and her husband to come to the same house in the afternoon, who accordingly came, and thus the parties met unexpectedly to each other. I was humbled under the weight attending my mind, and no others being present except the Friend and his wife at whose house we were, I ventured to let them know the exercise I had been under some days, from an apprehension of a difference, or prejudice subsisting between them, which if not removed would devour like fire, by which I believed they were already much affected. As I had not received information, more or less, I might be mistaken, and did not desire they should say anything on the subject before me, but honestly confer on it between themselves first, and if it was so, remove the cause, and if nothing was amiss, then to let me know, that I might be warned to be more cautious in future. I then left them and walked by myself about an hour, when the man of the house called me in, and they told me I was not mistaken, for there had been a hardness subsisting for sometime, which they hoped was now done away. But when in the course of our visit, we came to the house of the Friends who had been uneasy, I felt it as fresh as before, and told them I did believe they were not easy that the Friend should go on in the service; to which one of them answered, if she judges herself to be clear and others are easy, I have no objection. I asked what others were meant. The man replied, her husband and relations; and as the matter rested upon me, it appeared that endeavours ought to be used for reconciliation before we could with satisfaction proceed on our visit. Believing the Lord had secretly engaged me, I hoped he would accompany and bless the labour for the restoration of peace, which in a few days he was pleased to accomplish, and then we proceeded more cheerfully, and I think I may say that the Lord was with us, to the praise of his great and eternal name, who is worthy forever.

We visited the families of Friends in Whitehaven, Broughton, Cockermouth, Pardsay Hall, Eaglesfield and Graysothen, and others more remote, and had several profitable public meetings in those towns and places adjacent. Having spent about seven weeks within the verge of Pardsay Hall monthly meeting, and finding my mind clear, we went to Whitehaven and took passage in the ship Globe, James Grason master, for Ireland, on the 8th of the sixth month, 1752, new style, and parting with our dear friends in much love, set sail about the fifth hour in the evening, and landed at Dublin on the 11th of the same month, and were kindly received at the house of Samuel Judd. As I was going there, this secret hint was presented to my mind, “Live retired, and be not suddenly acquainted with any man.” After dinner our kind landlord said, I do not well in that I have not informed Friends of your arrival, they will blame me. I answered, let us first know that we are here, we have just come from sea and are weary. We had a troublesome passage by contrary winds and heavy rains, John Pemberton, my companion, having been very sea-sick, and myself a little so.

The next day we attended Sycamore-alley meeting, where we had the company of Susanna Hatton, who had been in America with Ruth Courtney. We were at eight meetings in Dublin, also at a monthly meeting and a quarterly meeting for their young people, in which I was deeply concerned on account of the prevalence of pride and the world's fashions, which was declared to them in the love of truth; and the Lord was pleased to favour several of the meetings by his heavenly presence, to the praise of his holy name.

Leaving this city we went towards the north: at Drogheda there is a meeting house belonging to Friends, but they are there so declined, we could not have a meeting to satisfaction.

We therefore went on to a meeting with a few Friends at Rathfriland, then to Monallen, where the meeting was comfortable; and on first-day had two meetings at Lurgan, at which place pride and a worldly spirit much prevail.

Taking meetings at Newton, Lisburn, Hillsborough and Ballinderry, the last of which was a large good meeting; we had one at Antrim, where the savour of truth seems much lost by the few professors there. We then passed on to Grange meeting, which was very dull, through the prevalence of a worldly dark spirit, and from there to a meeting at Ballynacre, and to Colerain, where we had a satisfactory opportunity with some of the town's people, who came to the meeting out of curiosity. I felt no freedom to express the sense I had of the state of Friends then, and as the meeting broke up, I stepped to a young woman, a Friend, who lived near the meeting house, and desired her to step forward and turn the few Friends in there, as she knew them, and let the others go by, which she readily performed. When we were all set down, it soon felt to me that if I delivered my concern in general terms, the intended end would not be answered, being in pain for their good, and close matters spoken might be taken by those to whom they least belonged; and being greatly humbled, I was desirous to be rightly instructed, not knowing their names, to speak to them separately. The Lord, who never fails those who humbly trust in him, showed me where and with whom to begin, and so to the next; and mine eye being fixed on the person to whom I directed my speech, each knew what was delivered to them in particular, and I hope the opportunity was beneficial; for I had great peace. When the Friends were gone, I asked the young woman, who seemed in some surprise, what ailed her; she said that several were very exactly told their condition, and feared they would judge her for an informer. I told her she need not matter that, as she knew herself to be innocent. I mention this occurrence as a remarkable kindness from the merciful Lord to the children of men, for their help and instruction, and that his servants may be encouraged to wait upon him for instruction to discharge their duty as faithful stewards in his sight, who knows the secrets of all hearts, and taught his servant in old time to know the wife of Jeroboam, though she feigned herself to be another woman. Blessed and magnified be his holy name, who is over all worthy forever and ever!

Taking meetings at Toberhead, Charlemont and Ballyhagan, we attended the men's meeting at Lurgan, having a great desire to sit with Friends there in the management of their discipline, which was adjourned to this time at my request. It began with a meeting for worship, men and women being generally together, at the conclusion of which, the men went into the room where the meeting for business was usually held; when after sitting sometime in silence, a leading Friend said, this is only an adjourned meeting, and bid the clerk enter it, and they might adjourn to the usual time to do their business, when it would be more select. The meeting sat a while without proceeding any way, and I asked them what was meant by the words, “more select,” observing that if any persons were present who had not a right to sit there, they should withdraw; they knew their own members. If they meant the Friend who came with us, he was a neighbouring Friend and an elder; and I esteemed myself a proper member of their meeting, as I came to visit them with the concurrence of my brethren at home, and had certificates from them, wherein I was recommended to Friends in Europe and elsewhere, and if I did anything among them worthy of censure, I should submit to their dealing. I therefore desired them to go on with their business, for I had come there with a concern to see how the affairs of the church went on. Without more debate or much reply they proceeded, and to my surprise, things of disorder had lain several years without proper dealing with various offenders, such as drinkers of healths, some that had been at cockfightings and races, and one or more marriages out of the order of truth; which gave me an opportunity to clear myself fully of the concern that had for some days lain with weight on my mind, which I believe was acceptable to some secretly pained Friends, however contrary to some others. I left the place with a peaceful mind, and thankful to the Lord who had given me an innocent boldness to assert my right of membership; for I believe if we had not been there, the meeting would have been thought select.

We then went to Ulster province meeting at Ballyhagan, which held two days; the elders and other concerned Friends here inquire into the state of things among their members in the province, and it was in the main a satisfactory meeting. From there we went southward, taking meetings at Castleshane, Coothill, Ballyhais and Old Castle, and to Ballymurry, in Connaught, having a meeting in a barn at Gailey, with a few Friends, it being the only one kept up in that province, except at Athlone, which we likewise attended, and came to James Clibborn's, at the Moat of Granoge, where we also had a meeting. I had travelled every day for more than a week with a fever on me, occasioned as I thought by a cold taken by lying in damp beds, and was now very unwell, but sat the first-day meeting. Next day my illness became very violent, so that Friends thought I should lay my body there, and sent for an apothecary, who bled me, which somewhat allayed the fever, and I fell into a sleep, when I began to bleed again, which brought me very weak, that I was awakened at midnight with great drops of sweat on my face, and sickness. Calling my companion, who watched with me, we found that I had bled much, the orifice in my arm being very large and not carefully bound up. My kind landlord and his wife being anxious about me, had prevailed with the apothecary to lodge in the house, who being called to me, on his coming I desired him to peel a bladder and apply a thin piece of it about as broad as a half-penny, on the wound. He asked for what; I told him he would see, and when it was applied, I requested him to hold his finger on the piece over the orifice, so as to stop the blood, until the plaster dried and stuck, which it soon did and it bled no more; he said that he had not seen the like. Next morning a physician of the town came to visit me, and feeling my pulse, I asked him what he thought of me? He making no answer, I said, “Be not afraid to tell me, for I am not afraid to hear;” he replied, “That is happy for you;” by which I supposed he thought I should not recover. He said I was in a deep consumption, and he visited me daily for a week, and could hardly believe I should recover, though I told him I believed I should. He still judged my cough to be consumptive, and at length told me, if I did recover, to go home as soon as I could, for that the Lord was more merciful than to require such a one as I was to travel as I did, and that I had already acted as a madman, to travel so long time with that fever before I lay by. I asked him, if he was master of a vessel at sea which had sprung a leak that could not be stopped, what he would do? He replied, endeavour to make to the next port for a dry-dock, to unlade and search out the leak. Why doctor, said I, this is just my case; I saw no place to lay by until I came here, at which he laughed, and wished me well. I think I never was reduced to so weak a state in so short a time, which might be occasioned by my great loss of blood; but the Lord was pleased to heal me.

I gathered strength to admiration, and on first-day sat the meeting, which was comfortable, and continuing to recover, though not fit to travel, I tarried until fourth-day and attended their monthly meeting. Understanding they had been endeavouring to visit families, but were backward in beginning, I told Friends I had a freedom to accompany them in the work for a few days for their encouragement, and we accordingly went with them to a few places to good satisfaction, and Friends received strength to go on with the service.

Taking an affectionate leave of our kind landlord James Clibborn and his wife, who is grand-daughter to Robert Barclay, the Apologist, we went to meetings at Birr, Kilconnermoor, Cashell, Killcommon, Glonsmell, Youghall, and so to Cork on the first-day of the week, where we also attended the men's meeting for discipline, and visited the women's meeting, which were both to some good satisfaction.

Then going to Bandon, we returned to an appointed meeting at Cork for parents and their children; and having strength given me to clear myself, it was, I hope profitable to many, being a large meeting. At Malo, we had a seasonable opportunity with a family of Friends, from there to the province meeting for Munster, held at Limerick, the public and select sittings of which and for the discipline, ended comfortably; and after attending the week-day meeting, we went to a meeting at Ross, and returned to Limerick. Being unwell with a cold, we tarried their meetings on first-day, which were large and satisfactory, and in the evening had one with a sick Friend; and taking three meetings in our way, we proceeded to Leinster province meeting at Mountmelick, which began on the sixth-day of the week with a meeting of ministers, the next day for worship and the discipline, and on first-day morning was a large and precious meeting. In the afternoon the town's people came in and it was a good satisfactory meeting, though not so large. Friends being mostly gone home. We had a meeting next day at Tullamoor, and returning to Mountmelick, had a satisfactory one with the children in James Gough's school.

After the week-day meeting in this town, we went to Ballacarrol, Ballanakel and Cooperhill, having a meeting at each; then to Catherlough monthly meeting on first-day, and the next day to Athy; then to Ballitore, which was through Divine goodness, made profitable, and we had also a satisfactory meeting with the scholars in Abraham Shackleton's school. After a meeting at Newton, we went to Samuel Watson's, at Killconner, whose wife, late Abigail Bowles, had been on a religious visit in America several years before. She was now near her end, but sensible and in a good frame of spirit, and greatly rejoiced to see us, and we were mutually comforted in a sense of the Lord's presence, for which his holy name was praised.

We went to Waterford, and sat with Friends in their morning, afternoon and evening meetings on the first-day, in all which, having cleared myself honestly, my spirit mourned under a sense of formality among the people, and a deadness to the pure inward life of religion. Taking meetings at Ross, Lambstown, Wexford, Randal's Mills, or Castlesaw, Cooladine and several other places, we came to Wicklow, at which meeting many soldiers attended, who behaved well, and truth owned the service in a good degree. I have observed where the soldiers came into our meetings, they were an awe to the rabble and loose people, who are sometimes apt to be rude. We went to Dublin, in order to attend the national half-year's meeting, and were kindly received by our old landlord, Samuel Judd and his family.

Leinster province meeting began on second-day, the 6th of the eleventh month, and on third-day the national meeting, which held four days; the several sittings thereof being in general attended with a sense of Divine goodness, and the testimony of truth ran strong against hypocrisy, covetousness, libertinism, and pride among the professors thereof; but in a consolatory stream to the humble and contrite children of the family, in a thankful sense whereof the name of the Lord was praised, who is worthy forever and ever!

We tarried a few days longer with Friends in Dublin, and then went to meetings at Baltiboys, Timahoe, Rathangan and Edenderry, and a religious sitting in John Pim's family at Nurney. Returning to Edenderry, attended their monthly meeting, where having a concern to visit some families of Friends, we went to most of them in that town, and to the house of a widow in the country, where we had a good opportunity with her and her children. I asked the Friend who accompanied us, whether there was any other Friend's house to which we had not been; he said he thought not. My mind had a draft to some house, and I pointed toward it, he then said he believed he knew where; so we went to the place, and the family being called together, I inquired whether there was not another belonging to the house, and was told there was. As soon as he came, I knew it was the man whom my mind was concerned to visit, and something I had to express reached and tendered him very much, he being exceedingly wild and fashionable, and did not love to attend religious meetings, but truth now reached him. On the first-day following I saw him at Edenderry meeting, where the visitation seemed to be renewed to him; I afterwards heard that he continued to be sober and thoughtful, and I was thankful to the Lord that he was pleased to condescend in mercy to gather the outcast of Israel. Being clear of this place, I returned to Dublin, and having a concern to visit the families of some who made profession of truth, but were disorderly in their conduct—we began that service, being accompanied by several Friends, and the Lord was pleased to own the work.

During our stay we were careful to attend all the meetings in this city for worship and discipline, one of which was a quarterly meeting for the youth, in which many were tendered by the love of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. We visited about sixty families, in most of which the Lord was pleased to favour with authority to set the testimony of truth over the heads of the corrupt disorderly professors, and to influence with understanding to divide the word and counsel of truth to the different states of those we visited; in a humble sense whereof, let my soul obey and adore Him who is alone worthy forever.

As I apprehended the women's meeting to be deficient in doing their part as true helps in the exercise of the discipline, and a proper care over the flock and family of the Lord, a weighty concern attended me to express in writing my sense of what was the proper business of women's meetings, which I showed to the men friends, and had their concurrence to lay it before the women's meeting, in order for their encouragement and practice in the wisdom of truth; and it was afterwards sent to the women's meetings throughout the nation.

The vessel in which we came to Ireland being ready to sail, and the master desirous of our company to return with him, I felt so clear and easy that I intended to go; but when he sent us word to come on board, I was more inclined to stay that day, and went to meeting, being first-day, and he sailed. But meeting with contrary winds and dark weather, he was obliged to put back into Dublin harbour after about a week's fatigue; my being withheld from embarking, I thought was a remarkable kindness and favour from my great and good Master; praised be his name! We had afterwards several good meetings, in some of which it became my concern to recommend silence by example, of which they stood in much need; and on the 23rd of the first month, 1753, after having travelled in Ireland thirteen hundred and fifteen miles, and had one hundred and thirty-four meetings, besides many family visits, feeling my mind to be fully clear, we went on board a ship of Whitehaven, Allen Wilson master, having in much love taken leave of our friends. After a short, but rough passage of about twenty-three hours, we arrived at Whitehaven, with hearts humbly thankful to the Lord who had preserved us; the master saying that he had not known the like for twelve years, although he had sailed between the two ports very constantly.

Next day after our arrival, our friend John Harris, of Highfield, with whom we had left our horses, brought them to us and we went home with him, visiting the meetings in the neighbourhood; several of which, particularly the last at Pardsay Hall, were large and precious opportunities, and I thought I could perceive that my former painful labours among them had been blessed, for which I was truly thankful to the holy Head of the church, and the Master of the assemblies of his people.

From there we went to Lortonhall and had an evening meeting with the people of the town, to which came the priest and most of his hearers; and although the craft and conduct of the hirelings were set forth, all was quiet and it ended well.

From there we went to Kendal, and staying a general meeting there, proceeded to others in Yorkshire and Lancashire, and to one we had appointed at Coin, where are no members of our Society, and though a poor dark town in respect to religion, the people behaved soberly, and many were tendered by the gentle, yet powerful reaches of Heavenly goodness. I may say, that in riding through some towns in England where no Friend dwelt, I felt a secret salutation of love to the inhabitants, though as a seed yet ungathered; but my present business in general was to the children of the family, that when it shall please the Lord to open the eyes of others to behold Zion, no stumbling-block may appear to offend beholders, or dim her heavenly beauty.

At Halifax we had a large open meeting, and several others in Yorkshire, until we came to Sheffield, where we visited some families to our satisfaction, and after attending two meetings in Derbyshire, returned to John Haslam's, and again to Sheffield, and sat their morning meeting on first-day, and in the afternoon attended the burial of Ellen Atwick, a Friend of good repute, to which many people came, and I had a favourable opportunity. I went to Blythe, in Nottinghamshire, and had a meeting, and several in other towns this week, and reached Rawcliff, in Yorkshire, on first-day.

On the night before, I had a dream which much affected me; “I thought I heard a kind of melody and singing at my left hand, whereupon I said, what do you rejoice at? But it continuing, I said, your singing is somewhat like David's rejoicing before the ark, but I see it not. I then heard a voice on my right saying, the ark is in the land of the Philistines, where it was taken through the wickedness of the priests and the sins of the people, who removed the ark from Shiloh to strengthen them in battle.” I awoke and was under some exercise for a time, concluding it was ominous, but saw no further, until we went to meeting in the forenoon, where I soon heard a kind of tuneful sighing, which kept increasing; and turning my head to discover from where it came, found it to be at my left hand. After a while a person stood up and spoke a few sentences of extraordinary enjoyments which were to be felt. My mind was pained, and after he sat down I stood up and said, “What are you doing? and what do you feel to occasion this rejoicing?” and should have proceeded to have told them my thoughts, but instantly my dream came into my mind, and so with little addition I sat down very sorrowful. After the meeting I went to dinner, but could not eat much or be cheerful.

At the afternoon meeting we had the same tune until my spirit was afflicted; but labouring to know that quiet which is not easily disturbed, I received strength in a loving frame of mind to inform them, that I feared they were mistaken in their states and conditions, for that death reigned, and it was rather a time of mourning. As truth arose in some good degree, that formal spirit became dried up; and in the evening having the company of the chief singer among them, I had a freedom simply to relate my dream to him, with a desire that he might examine whether the ark enclosing the pure testimony, was preserved safe amongst them; which shut up further conversation. In a few days after, an intimate friend asked me how I fared there; I repeated to him my dream, and he told me it was very significant, for that a withering had taken place in that meeting, and that man had several children who were married to persons who did not profess with us; and being treated with as a parent, he said it might be a means of increasing the meeting, if those they married came to meeting with them, and discouraged Friends from dealing with them, lest it should prevent them.

Then taking a meeting at Selby, we proceeded to the quarterly meeting at York, which continued two days, and was a good meeting. Here we met my brother, William Brown, to our mutual comfort, after a separation of nineteen months; we soon parted again, he going towards Lancaster, and we to several meetings in Yorkshire and some in Lincolnshire.

In some places I observed the form to remain and life to be lacking, and in others the professors of truth are too generally declined from both. True life gives birth to a true form; but the mere form will never produce the life of truth. From there we went to Retford and Mansfield, in Nottinghamshire, and at the last town had two meetings, one of which was with Friends by themselves; for it did not always appear convenient to deliver too publicly, those things which tended to the reproof of some disorderly walkers in the family, lest it should rather harden than restore and heal, especially where their conduct did not occasion open reproach.

Taking a meeting at Broughton, we went to Nottingham, and had three meetings there on first-day; next at Oxham, with a few Friends who were glad thereof, being sometimes missed by travellers; and the day following we had an appointed meeting at Nottingham to satisfaction. In this place they are troubled with some ranters, who force themselves into meetings for discipline. Friends were exhorted to keep up the testimony of truth in the meek humble spirit thereof, in which its dominion will stand forever. We spent some time in visiting meetings in Leicestershire, taking one at Oakham, in Rutlandshire, where some innocent Friends live, and I think it is the only meeting of Friends in that county. At Boswellstreet we had a meeting with some who had been lately convinced, but had not yet known a true establishment in humbly waiting for the power of truth, to give a solid growth in pure religion.

The same evening we had a meeting at Coventry to good satisfaction; and the week following came to Dudley in Worcestershire, where we lodged at James Payton's, whose sister Catharine was preparing to go on a religious visit to America. Staying the meeting on first-day in Dudley, we went to others in this county and Warwickshire, and came to Eaden in Northamptonshire, to which meeting many people came, some of whom were very unruly, but the power of truth prevailing, it ended quietly, praised be the Lord who is all sufficient for his own work. At a meeting held in an evening at Chipping-Norton there were many tender young people, to whom I felt a salutation in the love of truth; but before I thought it safe for me to stand up, a young man not much like a Friend stood up, and began to exhort them to be faithful in discharging whatsoever the Lord required of them, and how eminently he would be with and qualify them for his work, as though they were all appointed to enter upon some extraordinary great service. My mind was much grieved, for I thought it would be more suitable for them deeply to retire and wait for the virtue of truth and sap of life, to experience a growth in grace and the knowledge of God, that they might be prepared to work out their own salvation. To expect a young tree to produce abundance of fruit before the branches are come forth and spread with strength to bear it, is not reasonable. The words, “sit down,” passed through my mind for some time, and at length I spoke them so that he heard, which I perceived by a small stop he made; but going on again, I said “prithee friend, sit down,” which he did. I felt that my saying so, surprised the people and perhaps offended some, and that it would be in vain to deliver what was on my mind, so expressing a few sentences only, I sat down very sorrowful, and the meeting ended. I was informed by a Friend at our lodgings, that he was one lately come from the Methodists, which I before apprehended by his appearance. On going to bed I was much concerned lest it should hurt him, and deeply sought to know whether I had not spoken to him in a selfish spirit, because he had taken the time of the meeting appointed on my account, and feeling love towards him, I prayed in spirit that the Lord would be pleased to preserve him from harm thereby, and that if I had done wrong, I might be made sensible of rebuke for my future instruction; when in great calmness I understood that it would not hurt him.

After a meeting the next day at Sibbard, a woman Friend who was at the meeting the evening before, desired me to send by her a message, or write to the young man, for she was fearful he would go beside himself; I told her that when I spoke to him I thought myself right, and knew what I was about; but now I could not see what to do at present, and to act by her direction was dangerous, so we parted, and in about a week after, a Friend let me know that there was no danger of his receiving hurt, but hoped he would be benefited.

Taking a few meetings on our way, we arrived at London on the 7th of the sixth month, and next day attended Grace-church Street meeting, and in the following week the yearly meeting, which was comfortable and solid, several weighty matters being therein proposed for consideration from several of the counties, which tended rather to benefit. In the management of the affairs, there appeared in some a disposition to oppose what they thought to be new, notwithstanding the same things appeared very expedient to others, who from their views thereof, might urge their sentiments rather too strongly. A prospect of the Lord's servants truly disciplined, armed and qualified for his work, and of such who equip, arm and arrange themselves, and move by their own direction, was presented to my view in a dream one night during the time of this meeting; “I thought I beheld two armies set in array against each other, one of them well armed with swords and muskets; the other had no weapons for their defence, but a charge given them by their general to keep their ranks, and gently to march directly forward as he should lead, no man reaching forth his own hand to defend himself. They joined in battle, and when one of the unarmed soldiers was borne hard upon by his opponent, he reached forth his hand at arms length, when a sword took off one of his fingers, and the blood sprinkled on several of his fellow soldiers; whereupon knowing the orders given, I cried out, if that hand had not been so stretched out, this wound would not have been received, and so I awakened.” On the morrow I was fully convinced that in transacting the affairs of truth, the honour of God should be our only view, with a single eye to his direction, and self made of no reputation, which will be a shield against all reflections and personal censures. It so happened, that a valuable zealous Friend being strongly reflected on as a prejudiced party, and a little warmed thereby, made an over hasty, and perhaps too warm a reply, which is apt to stir up warmth in those who depend on no other guard than their own armour, and with their own strength use a selfish weapon; by this unguarded reply, the Friend brought a reproof on himself and some others, that were united in the cause of truth. The victory belongs to the Lamb forever, who when he was spit upon and reviled, did not again revile.

After staying in London and attending the Peel meeting on first-day, and the meeting of ministers and elders on second-day morning, we went to Chelmsford, and rested a day or two with our friend John Griffith, attended their week-day meeting and a general meeting at Easterfordkelvedon, and proceeded to the yearly meeting at Colchester, which held three days and was a time of Divine favour.

Then going to Ipswich and to a monthly meeting at Woodbridge, we continued there on first-day, and on the next began their yearly meeting, which held until the fourth-day of the week, in all eight sittings, some whereof were large and very good. No praise to him that wills, or to him that runs, but to the Lord alone that shows mercy. There being a marriage at the meeting on fifth-day, I had an open time, wherein I had to set forth, that as man in the beginning was taken from the earth by the hand of the Lord, and a life breathed into him different from the earth, by which he became a living soul, and stood in the image and liberty of his Creator, but falling from the heavenly image and liberty therein through transgression, he is now of the earth, earthly in his love and liberty, so he must be separated from the earthly low estate which stands in the transgression and death, by the regenerating Word of power, and transformed by the renewing of his mind, will and affections, and placing them on heavenly objects. For as the potter separates the clay from the other earth, and tempers it by itself before he forms and makes a vessel thereof, so must man by the operation of the Heavenly hand, be tempered, wrought, prepared, and freed from his own stubborn will, and made submissive to the Heavenly will, that he may not be marred on the wheel, but bear the turning of the Heavenly hand until he be formed a vessel to honour. But if the will of man does not become subject, but stands in rebellion, the Lord who said, “My spirit shall not always strive with man,” has power over the clay to reject that which will not be wrought into a vessel for honour, and allow it to be marred in its own stubborn will. When an earthly potter has formed a vessel for use, he carefully sets it aside, until it be prepared to bear a further operation, to harden and glaze it for the use for which it is made; if man should put even water into an earthen vessel formed for that use, before it is hardened and prepared by fire, he would both mar the vessel and expose that which was put therein. Let not such therefore who have known the Heavenly hand so to prepare them, that they are willing to be whatsoever the Lord would make of them, marvel if the Lord should be pleased to set them by a while for the trial of their faith. If the earthly potter's vessel should crack in drying, it would be marred, so if these vessels of the heavenly Potter keep not the word of his patience in this their drying season, to prepare them for the operation of the heavenly fire and furnace, in which the Lord will sanctify and fit his vessels for the use of his holy sanctuary, they will also be marred; but otherwise they will come forth vessels of honour in his house. I thought this was a remarkably good meeting, the praise thereof belongs to the Lord alone. We had also a select meeting with Friends, and visited several families in the town to satisfaction, truth owning us together, and after a good opportunity at a Friend's house in the country on our way, we went to Norwich and attended their meetings on first-day.

The yearly meeting began the next, and ended on fourth-day, after seven sittings generally large and satisfactory, through the overshadowing of Divine goodness. I continued in this city several days after, visiting families and steadily attending their meetings, and had some open satisfactory opportunities. My way now opening for Holland we went to Yarmouth, several Friends accompanying us, and on the 26th of the seventh month, embarked on board the ship Three Brothers, Richard Smith master, my companion John Pemberton, being willing to continue with me.

On the first-day of the week following, we landed at Rotterdam and lodged at an inn. Next morning feeling my mind drawn forward, we went in a stage wagon to Turgow, and from there in the track-skute to Amsterdam in the evening, the metropolis of South Holland, and were conducted to Friends' meeting house at the Three-hooks, in Princes' Street, in which Michael Laars and his sister lived, and were kindly received, and rested the next day.

I found a concern to visit the families of Friends in this city, in which service we spent most of the week to our satisfaction, John Vanderwarf, Jr., being interpreter; we also attended their week-day meeting, in which Peter Linders was interpreter. On first-day following, the meeting in the morning was pretty large, and many people came to that in the afternoon, some of whom behaved rudely; but truth came over, and they were stilled, and seemed to depart satisfied. We continued here until their week-day meeting again, which many not of our Society attended, and it was to general satisfaction, I then felt my mind drawn towards North Holland, and taking passage in the track-skute, passed through several towns and arrived at the city of Hoorn, where we were met by our friend Cort Hendricks, who took us in his wagon to his house at Twisk, in North Holland, the same night. Here finding the like concern, we visited the families of Friends, and had a meeting with them in the evening.

Next day we went to Abbey Kirk, a village about two miles distant, where about five or six families of Friends live, whom we visited. Friends generally seemed to receive our visits kindly, except one family, where I was concerned to open that saying of our dear Lord, “Except your righteousness exceed the righteousness of the scribes and pharisees,” etc for I was much burdened under a sense of a self-righteous, exalted spirit; and in opening that passage, was also led to speak of the parable of the pharisee and publican, who went up into the temple to pray, which probably touched the heads of that family, and I felt a strong opposition in them, and perceived the passage was not pleasing to our interpreter; I could not shake off my burden, yet was preserved quiet in my mind, having honestly done my part. Returned to Twisk, where the meeting was held for both villages, and on first-day morning was pretty large. Friends being generally there; but our interpreter had most of the time, so that he was too far spent to interpret much for me. Several not professing with us, attended in the afternoon, and I had a satisfactory time with them early in the meeting, when an awful sense of truth seemed to be over us, after which our interpreter had something further to say. I have often lamented the increase of words, and a repetition of former experiences without the renewing of life, which disposition seems to prevail in too many, burdening the sensible members in our Society.

As we sat this evening in a Friend's house at Twisk, two elderly women came in, professors of truth, but very talkative. I had seen them several times before, and been burdened with them, and now had something to speak to them; but feared such plain dealing would be too strong for our interpreter, who appeared to be very sociable with them; therefore I delivered my mind without singling them out, several others being present. These women took it to themselves, but not in such a disposition as I desired, being disturbed; they followed us to our lodgings, and made their complaint to our interpreter, bidding him ask me if I took them to be such persons as I had described; if so, they desired to know what I had to accuse them with? At first it put me to a stand, but being still, I soon thought it was providential that they thus gave me an opportunity to clear myself of the burden I had borne on their account. I told them that to enter into particular charges was not my business, but was free to let them know that I had been in pain on their account from the first time I saw them, and that if I had a true sense of their states, they were not such as they ought to be, but had lost the savour of what they professed to enjoy, and could so freely talk of. I told one of them that I took her to be dark and ignorant of her own state; and the other, that she was too light and chaffy in her spirit, and that they both lacked the true clothing of the Lord's children, which is humility of heart and reverence of spirit, which would season all their conversation and conduct, that they would not be stumbling blocks to their neighbours, as I feared they were. I also told them, that I believed when I spoke as I did at the Friend's house, it belonged to them, in which I was now confirmed, for had they been sincere hearted, they would have borne it without flinching; but they had shown that their sore places were touched, and I dared not to lessen the weight of what was then said, but desired them, to receive and ponder it well; for I was sure it was delivered in love, and believed it to be a visitation to them in their old age. This being interpreted to them, they spoke something to the interpreter which I did not understand; then one of them said she had yet love in her heart for me: I told her I had nothing but good will towards her, and so they went away. Afterwards the interpreter told me he had known these women many years; that I had a true sense of them, and he had delivered my words honestly, and hoped they would do them good.

We next had a meeting with Friends of Twisk by themselves, in which we were favoured with the savour of truth, the sincere hearted being refreshed, and the disorderly warned to be more careful. After taking some refreshment, we hastened to attend another meeting appointed for us at Abbey Kirk in the afternoon, which was held in the house where I felt the opposition before mentioned. I soon was sensible of some matter in my mind to divide to the people; first to a low afflicted state, and things opened pretty clear, and were interpreted readily. But proceeding to the other states, I felt the current obstructed, and the force of my sentences evaded, and had a sense that the minds of the Friends of that house were shut up against what I had to deliver. I forbore going on, and the interpreter soon began and continued to speak nearly an hour. When he had done, I felt a great weight on my mind, and desired him to interpret a few sentences for me; he did not seem very free to do it, saying, “Let it be short then.” The substance was, “That I had come in love to see them, and was in no way prepossessed or informed concerning any person or case among them; yet found they were shut up against what I had to deliver. Nevertheless, I could not be easy without letting them know that I did believe, unless they humbled themselves, and were stripped from that self-righteous wholeness, with which they had clothed themselves, they never would grow in the life of true religion; but would be as stumbling blocks to the sincere hearted among them.” I went out of the house and returned to our lodging, not having freedom to stay there longer. Our interpreter, who tarried with them after we were gone, told me that they supposed a certain Friend who had been in Holland sometime before, and spoken very closely to them, had informed me concerning them; and I thought the interpreter also favoured that sentiment, which made me not to wonder at the opposition I had felt both in him and them. I told him, until that time I never knew that the Friend whom they thus judged, had been there, and that I had never heard of their names, nor the name of the town, until I came with him, and desired him to give it in charge to a Friend of Twisk, who was present with us, to let those Friends know from me, what I then said of my innocency.

Feeling myself now pretty easy respecting that place, we returned towards Amsterdam, accompanied by two Friends to Hoorn, where no Friends now live, though formerly there were some, and at times meetings have been held there. I had thoughts of having one; but being under discouragement, had almost concluded to proceed on our way; but in walking through the city to the skute, which was to set off for Amsterdam in a few minutes, I felt my mind affected with a sense that my great and good Master was near, and desired with earnest breathings to know his will, and if he would be pleased to be with me, I was willing to do the same, as he should require and enable me. I then felt such a stream of love towards the inhabitants, that I was convinced there was a visitation to them, as though the Lord would in his own time gather a people there. I had not disclosed my mind to anyone, although I felt a draft back; but seeing a young man in the street, I desired the interpreter to ask him if he thought we could have a meeting in that town, to which he readily answered that he believed we might, and taking hold of my baggage, said, if we would please to return to his house, he would endeavour to procure a place and acquaint the people, which he very punctually, and with great speed performed. We met about four o'clock in the afternoon at the house of Cornelius Olyslager, and had a good opportunity with a friendly people, several of whom were reached and tendered by the virtue and savour of truth, which spread freely; for which the Giver of all good was reverently praised, who is worthy forever. The people departed in much love, and we returned to the young man's house, where we were affectionately entertained that night; we should have been glad to converse with the people, but could not understand their language, yet had a sense that they were satisfied with the meeting.

Accompanied by this kind young man, Derrick Meschaert, our landlord, to the trackskute, we took leave with tears on each side, and arriving at Amsterdam, sat with Friends that afternoon in their week-day meeting to satisfaction. We then visited the remainder of Friends' families in this city, and were comforted therein, the Lord being pleased to own our labour, and I pray it may be blessed to them. On first-day morning we had a large solid meeting, at which were several strangers, particularly two young men, Italians, who behaved well; also many of the citizens who had never been at a Friends' meeting before.

The afternoon meeting was also large, but some of the lower sort who came to gaze out of curiosity, behaved rudely; yet it ended better than I expected. There seemed to be an openness in many to hear the testimony and principles of truth declared; but it is a dull way to speak by an imperfect interpreter.

On the 22nd of the eighth month was held what they call their yearly meeting, which was attended by several not of our Society; but it has little more than the name of a yearly meeting, the discipline of truth being much lost.

Feeling some concern still to continue on my mind towards the Friends at Abbey Kirk, where I was sensible of the opposition before hinted, I had freedom to write them a letter; but on considering that the Friend and his wife to whom I wrote were persons of note, I was fearful that their resentment might hurt some others; and having a tender concern towards the sincere hearted, it was with me to prepare the way by writing an epistle to Friends of the meeting at Twisk, to which those of Abbey Kirk belong; both which I got a Friend of Amsterdam to translate; that to the meeting I sent immediately, that it might be read on a first-day, and directed the other to be sent soon after.

That to Friends at Twisk, was as follows:

Dear Friends,

The honest and sincere hearted amongst you, I salute in gospel love; and as I believe there is a small remnant who are desirous to witness the peace of God in your hearts, and a sure hope of receiving the answer of well done at the conclusion of your time in this world, mind the instructions of the Spirit of Christ Jesus in your own hearts, for it is this which leads into all truth; it shows unto man, of what sort the thoughts of his heart are, and it witnesses against every bad word and action. The Spirit of Truth has taught the children of God in all ages; it was by this spirit that our worthy elders were led from the lo-heres and lo-theres, which are in the world; and established on the true foundation.

The revelation or teaching of the Spirit of God in their own hearts, upheld them under sore afflictions and outward sufferings from the powers of the earth; and by this they were preserved in the unity of the spirit, in the bond of peace.

Dear Friends, beware of letting out your minds after the doctrines and teachings of men, who have not the Word of life committed to them to preach in the love and power of truth. For if you do, you will be unstable and wavering, and a wavering man is as a wave of the sea, tossed to and fro with every contrary wind of doctrine. Neither look you too much to the example one of another, but wait to receive in yourselves a sense of what you ought to do and to join with, and what you ought to be separated from, then will you be able to judge what you hear and see; because you have the Spirit of Truth in your own hearts; for that is the true rule, judge and guide, which leads into all truth.

Since I was with you, I have often thought that you will never grow strong in the truth, nor teach the principles thereof one to another, until you be obedient to its teachings in your own hearts, and act and behave in all things according to the pure witness thereof in your own selves; this makes living, sound, steady members, zealous both of love and good works in themselves, and amongst their brethren and sisters.

Dear Friends, be careful to meet together, and admonish those who fall short of their duty herein. And when you are assembled, wait on the Lord with a mind turned inward; and if you wait in faith and patience, the Lord will be found of you, and reveal himself in the midst of you, to your comfort and consolation.

With sincere desires that every good thought and secret inquiry after the knowledge of God in each of your hearts, may be strengthened and blessed, I remain your affectionate friend,

John Churchman.

Amsterdam, 23rd of the eighth month, 1753.

A copy of my letter to the Friend and his wife, here follows:

My friends,

I have had an exercise on my mind ever since I came first into your house, to visit your family, which was on the 11th instant.

I came an entire stranger, free from any information from man concerning you; but as soon as I came into the house, I felt the innocent life of truth and pure seed of the kingdom oppressed in you.

Our dear Lord said, “Learn of me, for I am meek and low of heart.” His spirit in us, if we take heed thereto, will teach us to be meek and low in heart. At this day his teaching is the same, and will remain to be so to all his followers forever. Oh may you be humble, for it is the humble that the Lord teaches of his ways; and the meek he guides in judgment. But from the whole and self-righteous, who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own conceit, the Lord will hide the mysteries of his pure wisdom.

To the babes who are truly changed and born from above, and those sucklings who are weaned from the breasts of the world and its wisdom, and are leaning on the breast of Christ their beloved, desiring the sincere milk of his word, that they may grow thereby, the Lord will reveal true knowledge and wisdom from above. This wisdom is pure, peaceable, gentle, and. easy to be entreated, and those who have the same in possession, have the seasoning virtue of truth; they have salt in themselves, and are therefore preserved in peace and unity with the pure truth, and also one with another. Such professors who know and receive the most holy faith, they know the same to work in them by love, to the purifying of their hearts. These are Jews inward, circumcised in heart, true Israelites indeed, in whom there is no guile; and their righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and pharisees.

I heartily wish that you may, in your old age, be concerned to know the life of pure religion; a sense of the lack thereof in your family, burdened my life while I was in your house, which was the reason why I could not be free to eat and drink with you.

In order to discharge myself towards you, have I written these few lines, desiring that you may examine yourselves, and see if there be not a cause; and in the love of truth, which leads us to deal plainly one with another, I remain your real friend and well-wisher,

John Churchman.

Amsterdam, 23rd of the eighth month, 1753.

We continued with Friends in this city and attended their two meetings on first-day, and in the evening had an opportunity with several to satisfaction, for our love rather increased. Next morning feeling my mind clear of Friends in Holland, I was easy to return towards England, and accompanied by several to the skute, we took leave and went to Turgow by water; from there by wagon to Rotterdam, in all about forty-two miles. There are no members of our Society in this city; we went to see the meeting house and had some thoughts of having a meeting; but being the time of a great fair, which occasioned a concourse of rude people, there was no prospect of having one to advantage.

John Vanderwarf, Jr., came with us to Rotterdam, with whom we parted in much love, early on fourth-day morning, the 29th of the eighth month, and went on board the same ship which brought us here; it having made a voyage to England and back since. We sailed with a fair wind down the Maese to the Briel, before noon, when it becoming contrary, we lay at anchor until first-day morning; then proceeding, we passed over the dangerous sands and to sea, and arrived at Yarmouth about one o'clock the next day, and had a meeting with Friends the same evening. In this journey to Holland, we travelled by sea and land about five hundred miles.

From Yarmouth we went in a chaise to Norwich, where Friends were rejoiced to see us, and we were thankful for our safe return; and being concerned to spend some more time among them in this city, we visited a few families and attended their monthly meeting, also their two meetings on first-day, which were dull and heavy; the minds of the people being too much outward, I found it my place to recommend silence by example, more than by words, in both those meetings.

Next day I went to visit Hannah Lucas, a school mistress, who was newly convinced; she was in a low state of mind, and our visit was to mutual satisfaction, being comforted together. At their week-day meeting on third-day, I had a seasonable time to discharge my mind towards Friends in that city, in which I was led to deal plainly with them. They are a loving people to strangers and each other; but there is a lack of weightiness of spirit, and of a proper care in the exercise of the discipline of the church.

Before going to Holland, I was several times at the shop of a barber in this city to be shaved. The second time I was there, I had to wait awhile for my turn, he having no assistant; and when others were gone out, he told me he was sorry I had to wait and hoped he should have my custom, and that if I would come on Saturdays and Wednesdays in the forenoon, I need not wait; but in the afternoon others came. I asked him what days of the week those were which he called Saturday and Wednesday? He seemed to wonder at my ignorance, but knew not how to tell me otherwise. I said, I do not read in the Scriptures of any days so named. He replied, that is true. For what reason then, said I, do you call them so? Because it is a common custom, said he. Suppose then, said I, that we lived in a heathen country among infidels who worshipped idols, should we follow their customs because common? He replied, by no means. I then said, if I have understood rightly, the heathens gave the days of the week those names. I never heard that before, said he, pray for what reason? I answered, they worshipped the sun on the first-day of the week, and named it after their idol, sunday; the moon on the second-day of the week, so came monday; and the other days after other idols, for they had many gods; third-day they called tuesday, after their idol tuisco; and after the idol woden, they called fourth-day Wednesday; and fifth-day after their idol thor, they called thursday; from friga, friday; and after saturn they called the seventh-day, Saturday. As I believe in the only true God and Jesus Christ whom he has sent, and expect eternal life by no other name or power, I dare not, for conscience sake, own the gods of the heathen, or name a day after them; but choose the names which the days were called by, when the Most High performed his work of creation, namely: first, second, third, and so on, which is Scriptural, most plain and easily understood.

He seemed affected with the information, and I desired him to inquire into the matter for himself, and not to think I designed to impose upon him. The next time of my going to his shop, he showed me some papers whereon he had began to learn algebra, and asked me how I liked it. I said it might be useful to some, but that I could take up grubbing or follow the plough without studying algebra, as he might also shave a man, etc., without it; besides I found it a more profitable and delightful study to be quietly employed in learning the law of the Lord, written in my own heart, that I might walk before him acceptably.

On my return from Holland to Norwich, a man ran to me in the street, putting a paper into my hand, and immediately left me, whom I soon found to be this barber. The letter contained an innocent childlike acknowledgment to me for my freedom with him, as is before mentioned, in language rather too much showing his value for me as an instrument; and believing him to be reached by the love of truth, and in measure convinced thereof, I thought it best to leave him in the Lord's hand for further instruction, to learn by the immediate teachings of the holy Spirit, that his love might be centred on the true Beloved of souls; for lack whereof many are hurt, looking outward and growing in head knowledge, seeking the esteem and friendship of man, from whom we are to cease, his breath and life being stopped at the Lord's command.

I mention this passage with a view to stir up my friends of the same holy profession, to let their language be the language of truth to all men, in purity of spirit, and not to name the days of the week or months, after the heathenish idolatrous customs; saying for excuse, that they to whom they speak best understand them, and that it saves further explanation, which excuse is far from a disposition apt to teach, and letting the light of truth shine as they ought. “Neither do men,” said our blessed Instructor, “light a candle and put it under a bushel; but on a candlestick, and it gives light to all that are in the house.” Nor does the Lord enlighten his candle, that is the spirit of man, with the pure knowledge of truth, that we should cover it, either with an easeful disposition to save ourselves trouble, or hide the work thereof under the bushel of worldly saving care, after the gain and treasure of this world; but that it may stand on the candlestick, and thereby crown those who are thus favoured with the holy light, that as a city set on a hill they cannot be hid.

The corrupt language of you to a single person, and calling the months and days by heathen names, are esteemed by some to be little things; but if a faithful testimony in these little things, was blessed in the instance before mentioned, even to the raising an earnest inquiry after the saving knowledge of God and his blessed Son, whom to know is eternal life; perhaps such who baulk their testimony to the pure talent of truth given them to profit withal, may one day have their portion appointed with the wicked and slothful servant.

After the last mentioned meeting I found my mind easy to leave Norwich, and went with Richard Brewster and wife to Wymondam that evening, and next day to Edmondsbury. Feeling an engagement of mind, we stayed at this place eight days, attending their several meetings and monthly meeting, which is composed of five particular meetings; where, under a sense of a forward formal ministry, my soul mourned and was clothed with sorrow.

Next day we had a precious meeting, and the same evening another with the ministers and solid Friends; in which it became my concern to set forth the care they ought to exercise over each other, and how necessary it was to deal plainly with those who did not keep their places: truth owned us together, and I believe the opportunity will be remembered.

My mind being drawn towards Wales, my companion, John Pemberton, who had been with me three years, having travelled together in much love and unity, inclining to go towards London, we parted in the same love. Accompanied by my kind friend, Richard Brewster, I went to Henry Gray's, at Godmanchester, in Huntingdonshire, and the next day to Wellingborough, in Northamptonshire, and was at their meetings on first-day, the 23rd of the ninth month, which were heavy, for lack of more faithful inward labourers; that evening I also had a sitting with a sick Friend.

Next morning several Friends coming to take leave of me, I had an opportunity to remark to them the reason that their meetings were so dull and cloudy; for I thought I clearly saw there was a neglect among them of putting the discipline in practice, where disorders were evident; and that this neglect had caused them to suffer, which would still continue and increase, until they set the testimony of truth over the heads of such who by disorderly walking, had brought a reproach thereon. The Friends were affected, and acknowledged they believed it to be the case amongst them. We parted in tenderness, and I proceeded on my journey with the income of solid peace, and after riding thirty-seven miles, reached Banbury, in Oxfordshire, and the next day Eatington, in Warwickshire, where I met with my friends, Richard Partridge and Mary Weston, of London, and we were truly glad to see each other, spending the day together, and had a meeting with Friends in the evening to our mutual comfort.

We went in company to Warwick and Coventry, and at the meeting at the last place, which was comfortable, I thought I sensibly felt the benefit of the painful labour I had been exercised in when there before. Richard Partridge returning to London, Mary Weston went with me to the quarterly meeting at Leicester, which began with a meeting of ministers and elders, and one for worship and discipline was held the same day; the service in which lay heavy upon me, and truth favoured, the power thereof being felt to the comfort of many. I wish that season may not be forgotten by the members of that meeting. On the first-day following I went to a general meeting at Badgeley, and had an evening meeting at Polesworth. I next went to Allen England's, at Tamworth, and had a satisfactory opportunity in his family, to which I had felt a drawing in my mind for some time; but did not know that it would fall in the way to the quarterly meeting at Stafford; which I attended, and there met my friend Joshua Toft. In company with him I returned to Ridgeley, and next day had a meeting at the widow Morris', and another that evening at Uttoxeter; from there to Leek, and after a favoured meeting went home with Joshua to Hargate, where after resting one day, had another meeting at Leek, and an opportunity with some Friends at Joshua Strangman's, I had a degree of peace.

Accompanied by Joshua Toft I went to a general meeting at Eaton, in Cheshire, then to Macclesfield, Stockport, Morley and Farnly, the last of which was a good meeting. Here my friend, Samuel Fothergill met me, and we went to a meeting at Sutton; the next day Susanna Fothergill and her brother Alexander came to see me, and we had a comfortable time together at Thomas Hough's, being owned by truth. I was next at a laborious meeting at Newton, though it ended well; next day at Middlewich, then at Nantwich and Chester, from which I rode to John Bellows', at Stretton. My labours through Cheshire were in a particularly close manner, though there are some solid Friends in that county.

Passing to Shrewsbury in Shropshire, I was at a meeting on first-day at Colebrookdale, and had some close work; but truth seemed to give the victory, and in the evening at Abraham Darby's house had an opportunity, in which the testimony of truth prevailed to the tendering some high and lofty young people; whose faults were told them in the power of the Searcher of hearts, for which the sincere were truly thankful.

Next day returning to Shrewsbury, I went to visit Benjamin Thomas and Richard Bellows, who had been confined in prison about four years and a half for their conscientious refusal to pay tithes, and we had a comfortable season together in the jail, feeling the living presence of the Lord, which makes his people free, even in prisons.

The day following had a meeting in this town, and one in the evening at the house of John Young, both which afforded some peace; but the life of truth is at a low state in Shropshire, and the professors with us few in number.

I then passed into North Wales, to Charles Lloyd's, at Dolobran, in Montgomeryshire, John Young being with me, and had a meeting there. At this place there was formerly a large meeting; but it is now much declined.

From there we went to Tydynygarrig, in Merrionethshire, and had a meeting with a few sincere Friends at the house of Lewis Owen; after which I proceeded on my visit to the other meetings in this county; first in the family of Humphrey Owen, which was a comfortable time, though no other Friends live in this place; then at the house of John Goodwin, in Esgingoch, in Montgomeryshire, where were several tender Friends; but the living are scarcely able to bear the weight of those professors, who although they know the truth, do not abide therein, and so are as withered branches cast forth. Next was a pretty large and satisfactory meeting at Talcoyd, in Radnorshire; then at Cwm and Gluerindrew, and on a first-day at Penbank, where are many professors, though but few solid Friends.

After these I was at Penplace and Caermarthen, which last meeting was much to my satisfaction; the few Friends here being of the better sort. From there to Haverfordwest, staying their meetings on first-day, which were mostly with Friends by themselves; the afternoon was open and satisfactory, as to others professors who came in; but pride and worldly mindedness have much hurt the members of our Society, though there are a few tender Friends. In the evening I had another opportunity with Friends, and was enabled to relieve my mind among them with a degree of thankfulness. The next meeting was at Jamestown, and in the evening of the day following at Larn with the people of the town, who behaved civilly, but seemed barren as to true religion; there was but one in this town in unity with Friends, and he seemed near his end. Crossing a ferry nearly a mile broad, we were in great danger, being driven on shore and the wind very high, the boat was likely to fill with water, and I was obliged to go over a marsh to Caermarthen, being thankful for the deliverance. I had a public meeting with the town's people, to a good degree of satisfaction, and next morning met with my brother, William Brown, at Swanzey, and we were made joyful in the company of each other. Here we had two meetings, and another with Friends selected, in which he got some relief. He left me here, and having a concern on my mind I visited the families of Friends, though not without fear; but felt the help and strength of my great and good Master, who furnished me with power and skill to discharge my duty, both to the lukewarm and the corrupt disorderly professors, without wounding his own children, some of whom there are in this town. I stayed their meeting on fourth-day, which being divinely favoured, I pray may not be forgotten; the power which alone can enable to tread on scorpions or serpents, and preserve from the force of deadly poison, was over all: the honour, praise and glory, be ascribed to the Lord, who is worthy forever!

Next day I rested, and in a degree of humble thankfulness made these remarks.

I continued many days longer in this town, in which time I had several meetings, some of which were very satisfactory, many of the town's people attending, and the good hand of the Lord was stretched forth towards them; for which I was truly thankful. After spending sixteen days among them, I went to Llantrishon, and the next day had a meeting at Trewaruge; then one at Hillary with a tender inquiring people; also at Cardiff with a seeking people, who had separated themselves from the public worship and met together in silence; this opportunity was an instructive season. On the first-day following I was at Pontypool at two meetings, and had many close things to deliver, observing a lack of order among them. In the evening had an opportunity with some of the Friends most active in the discipline, and endeavoured to discharge myself; and on third-day a large and pretty open meeting. Being detained by a great snow, I had another meeting with Friends of the foremost rank on sixth-day, in which I cleared my mind of a great burden I had borne, on account of a formal ministry among them. My next meeting was at Shere Newton, which was pretty large, though dull, the savour of truth being much lost among Friends here; yet I was favoured with strength to discharge myself, and in the feeling of peace went that night to the passage over the Severn, and next day to Bristol.

On third-day I attended their meeting in Bristol, but sat in silence, and was very heavy hearted under a sense of a forward spirit, which would prompt to answer the expectations of the people, and is apt to prevail on some who seem to be called to the work of the ministry; but truth only blesses its own motion.

I continued in and near this city about four weeks, attending their several meetings, but did not feel relief from the burden I was under. On the 15th of the first month, 1754, hearing that my brother, William Brown, was at Ann Young's, at Erthcot, I went there to see him, and we were comforted in each other's company, and next day attended their meeting to our refreshment; from which we returned together to Bristol, where we tarried until the 26th. In this time I had several open meetings, which set me at liberty to leave that city, when we again parted, and I took meetings at Ulverstone, Thornbury, Sadsbury, Dedmartin, Tedbury and at Nailsworth, when I had an opportunity to ease my mind, which was heavily oppressed on account of the formal professors of truth, also to the comfort of the faithful, which was cause of thankfulness.

Calling to visit the widow Fowler who was in affliction, I went to meetings at Plainswick, Gloucester, Ross in Herefordshire, Almerly, Leominster, and Upham; where I visited the wives of the two Friends who are imprisoned at Shrewsbury for their testimony against tithes. Returning to Leominster, I attended the monthly meeting there, in which truth owned us, and taking a meeting at Broomsgrove went to Worcester, and on first-day was at two comfortable meetings, and another on third-day, and the next day attended the quarterly meeting, which was a precious time, wherein Friends were comforted. Finding a concern on my mind I went into the women's meeting, wherein the power of truth accompanied, which is the crown of our religious meetings; here is a tender seed, which will thrive if the Divine power is kept unto.

Being clear of this city, I departed with peace to meetings at Tewksbury, Cheltenham, and again to Nailsworth, where I was at two meetings, in which though hard, I had an evidence that the Lord had not forsaken his seeking people. After attending a conference with several Friends endeavouring to compose a difference, which ended to satisfaction, I proceeded to the quarterly meeting for Gloucestershire, held at Tedbury. Divine goodness and a good degree of the authority of truth attending in the time of worship, and in transacting the affairs of the church.

Next day I went to Cirencester, where I had a hard and dull meeting, the professors of truth having too much departed from the savour thereof; at another in the evening I had an evidence of having discharged my duty. Then proceeded to meetings at Farringdon in Berkshire, Litchfield, Burford in Oxfordshire, Milton, Stow in Gloucestershire, Chipping, Norton, Charlbury, Witney, Abingdon, Warbury, North End, and from there to High Wiccomb, where the weather being very cold I tarried six days, visiting several families of sick Friends, and the last public meeting being in the evening, which many of the town's people attended, and it was a solid opportunity. From there I went to Amersham, though with difficulty on account of the snow, and on first-day had a meeting at Chesham; then to Hampstead, and had a meeting, which was much enlarged by the scholars of William Squire's school, several of whom were affected.

After a good opportunity with Friends at Albans, I went to London, where I remained seven weeks and three days, visiting the meetings, and felt much of the weight and burden of the service before me there, and in the opening and authority of truth, I had to speak to the present state of our Society, not only to the instruction of the seeking children and comforting of the mourners; but also by way of rebuke to the disorderly, and close warning to the rebellious.

During my continuance here I felt my mind drawn towards Wiltshire, and thought of attending the quarterly meeting there; but on the day I expected to set forward, found a stop in my mind; though not relieved from a solid concern, which engaged me to inquire secretly what I should do. Notwithstanding this concern to Wiltshire, my burden respecting London seemed rather to increase; but as I kept quiet, I found my heart warmed in love and my mind opened, to write an Epistle to that quarterly meeting, which with thankfulness I esteemed a great favour from my good Master, being in a poor state of health, the weather unfavourable, and the journey long. In the opening of truth, I wrote as follows:

To Friends in Wiltshire.

Having had strong desires in my mind for your welfare in the truth, I purposed to attend your quarterly meeting, but being hindered at this time, and not knowing that I shall ever have an opportunity to see you, I feel a freedom to visit you with a few lines in the opening and love of truth, which flows to you ward.

Dear friends, old and young, as many of you as are desirous to be called the children of God and followers of Christ Jesus, be humble, that you may be taught of him; for it is the humble he teaches of his ways; and be meek and low in heart, that you may serve him in your generation and one another in his pure fear, so you will know him for your rest, and his peace your quiet habitation.

My soul has mourned, and is in some degree covered therewith at this time, under a sense that the love of the world, and its pleasures and delights, abound in too many, which are iniquity, and because thereof the love of many towards God waxes cold. For lack of witnessing the love of God in a pure heart, the mind becomes lukewarm, and indifferent about the things which belong to our peace and future happiness; and so fathers and mothers, masters and mistresses, become dull, if not dead to that holy concern, which should excite them, both by example and precept, to instruct and train up their children and servants in godliness of life and conduct.

Oh dear friends! search your hearts, and diligently inquire whether something has not subtly crept in and stolen away your affections from God; and the deep attention of your minds from the instructions of his holy Spirit of truth. If this becomes your concern, I fully believe the Lord will bless you with enlightened minds to see, and willing hearts to give up all to the fire and sword of his Word and Spirit, that your hearts may be purged, and made temples in which he would take delight to dwell. If the soul is chaste in love to God, and the eye of the mind single to the instruction of the Spirit of Truth, the whole body will be full of light. It is here that the children of God are preserved safe in their steps before the Lord, and free from giving occasion of stumbling to others.

I am fully persuaded there is a remnant amongst you, who feelingly know, that the living sense of the presence and power of God, in your meetings both for worship and discipline, is not plentifully enjoyed, but is at a low ebb. And it is in my mind to let you know what has appeared to me to be one great reason of it, namely: There are many professors of the truth amongst you, who delight to be accounted Friends in esteem in the Society; who have a smooth and fawning behaviour, and flattering tongues, and do seek the love and friendship of such as are Friends of truth, for their own honour and credit, and the reputation of self. Dear friends of such beware, for their friendship is poison, and their intimate fellowship, if cleaved unto, is benumbing, even to insensibility. And for lack of a clear discovery of that spirit, some of the tender and sincere hearted amongst you have suffered.

In whomsoever earthly mindedness prevails, or the love of the world and its friendship; there is a secret giving way to, and a gradual reconciliation with its sordid practices; and the eye that once saw in the true light, becomes closed or dimmed, if not wholly blinded by the god of this world.

Liberty is then taken by parents, and indulgence is given to their children; which occasion pain and distress of heart to those who have not lost their sight and feeling. But some, for fear of being rebuked and disesteemed by such who have a sense of them, will court their affections; with which bait they have been taken, and so have been afraid to speak their minds plainly, lest they should offend, or drive them further from the Society; concluding there is a tender thing in them, because they seem to love Friends. Thus many who might have made great progress have lost ground, for lack of speaking truth to their neighbours; and the infection of pride, libertinism, and earthly mindedness has spread and prevailed, even to the hurt of some families who were once exceedingly grieved therewith.

Wherefore my dear friends, fear God with a perfect heart, and in his light watch over your own selves and your families. So shall your hearts be warmly influenced and filled with holy zeal and love to God and his truth; in which you will be bold to act in your meetings for discipline, and in the power of God, which is the authority of the church, you will be able to judge those who walk disorderly; and being faithful therein, you will remove the stumbling blocks, and roll away the reproach which is imputed to the church.

The Lord would feed these faithful labourers with his heavenly bread, and honour them with his life giving presence, and whether the disorderly would hear or forbear, the Lord would be the shield and exceeding great reward of his people, and fill their hearts with praise to his name, who is worthy forever and ever.

John Churchman.

London, 4th of the Fourth month, 1754.

Let this be read in your men's and women's meetings.

In my travelling to the meetings in Wiltshire, and attending the quarterly meeting in the seventh month, 1750, I was straitened to clear myself towards them, which occasioned me to leave them in pain of mind, but now having sent them this epistle I was made easy, believing they would read it, and send copies thereof to their several monthly meetings, which would be likely to be heard by more Friends than if my concern had been delivered in the quarterly meeting only. Enclosing it to an innocent Friend at Chippenham, I desired him to deliver it to the said meeting, which I afterwards understood he did, and that Friends had answered my request.

Feeling my mind easy to leave London for a while, I went to Esher, in Surry; was the next day at a large meeting at Kingston, on Thames, which was pretty open as to doctrine, and the people seemed attentive, and several much tendered; there are but few Friends here.

I then visited other meetings in Hampshire and Berkshire, being made thankful to the great Author of all good, who had been with me in the journey under my indisposition of body. Coming to London I met with many Friends from different parts of the nation, assembled in order to attend the yearly meeting, which began on the 2nd day of the sixth month, and continued ten days, being a very large and in the main a solid meeting. Many weighty affairs relating to our religious Society were therein considered, and it was agreed, that in future this meeting should begin with a meeting of ministers and elders, on the seventh-day of the week, at the third hour in the afternoon, that inquiry might be made into the state of the ministry in general, which I hope may be attended with good service hereafter.

On the 11th of the sixth month after the parting meeting, I went from London and attended a yearly meeting in Hertford, which was very large. The next day I accompanied several Friends who were appointed to visit a monthly meeting, the members of which paid tithes and contended for liberty so to do without censure. We had a conference with them, in which the testimony of truth was set over them, and they were taken and confounded in their own arguments. After this I attended a general or yearly meeting at Baldock, which was very large and satisfactory, returning next morning to London. I was truly thankful that I had been enabled to attend these three meetings, enjoying great peace in my labours there, which lay heavy upon me; my gracious and good Master gave me wisdom, boldness and strength to clear myself in the love and power of truth, to the tendering of many hearts; may I ever remember his mercies to me, and be enabled to bless and praise his holy name, who is worthy forever! Continuing in and near London about ten days, I then went to a large satisfactory meeting at Rochester, in Kent, where were several clergymen, who behaved well. Next day had a meeting at Loos, in the house of Thomas Crisp, with a few Friends and others; then going to my friend William Patterson's, at Canterbury, I was at their meeting in that town, and the day following had one on the isle of Thanet, where there are a few friendly people. The meeting next day at Dover was pretty open; on first-day I was at two meetings at Folkstone, which were dull and heavy, though there are many Friends in that place, amongst whom I was favoured with strength to ease my mind.

I then visited a number of meetings and came to Chichester, when finding a concern to visit the families of Friends in this city, I spent two days in the service and had some close exercise, though a good degree of peace. I also attended their two meetings on first-day, which were heavy and laborious; for though here are some tender people, yet the spirit of the world has brought a blast on several professors.

I went to Gosport, in Hampshire, where we had a meeting; also one in the evening at Portsmouth, John Griffith and Jeremiah Waring being with me; then going to Cowes, on the isle of Wight, had a good meeting at Newport, likewise one in the evening with the town's people. After another opportunity with Friends, returned to Cowes, where I had a meeting with a few of our brethren, and on first-day the 21st of the seventh month, attended two meetings at Pool, in Dorsetshire, which were dull and laborious; a worldly libertine spirit has brought a blast on many. Next day we had a meeting with a few Friends at Weymouth, and then at Bridport; truth seems at a low ebb in Dorsetshire.

The next meeting was at Ringwood, in Hampshire, which was dull; where the life of truth is not abode in, people will wither. The same evening we had a meeting to pretty good satisfaction at Fordingbridge, and one at Alton; at which place we had another very satisfactory meeting on first-day, and that evening at Godalming; and taking a few others, I came to London for the last time, and spent eight days more with Friends in that city. On my coming here from Albans, on the 19th of the third month before mentioned, I felt great fear to possess my mind, having before spent about thirteen weeks in that city, mostly under a close exercise of spirit, without an openness to say much in public or private to obtain relief; so that to go there again appeared to me like entering into a cloud, although I was secretly bound in spirit to proceed. But attending all the meetings as they came in course, I felt a gradual openness and strength to declare those things, which before had been sealed up, being now made sensible that every opening or vision, which the Lord is pleased to manifest to his servants, is not for immediate utterance. The Lord who gives judgment, should be carefully waited upon, who only can show, by the manifestation of his heavenly light, the time when, and by the gentle putting forth of his arm of power, give ability in the opening of his spirit, which gives tongue and utterance to speak the word of truth in the demonstration of the spirit and power, that opens a door of entrance in the hearts of them who hear. Our dear Lord said, “For it is not you that speak; but the Spirit of your Father, which speaks in you.”

As my service opened and strength increased, I was invited by some to their houses, who before looked on me with indifference; but now said they should be glad to see me there to be more acquainted. I felt on my first arrival in this city, a secret prohibition from going much from house to house without inward leave, and the same restraint continued with me, lest by going to such places I might somewhat contradict, by example, the precepts which truth had directed me to deliver in public, namely: a life of self-denial and temperance in eating and drinking, with a steady inward attention to the teachings of the Spirit of grace, in order to know an establishment of heart thereby, as being the certain duty of every follower of Christ Jesus our Lord. I think I have seen that there is great need to be exceedingly careful, when the Lord is pleased to reach unto and convict disorderly walkers by instrumental means, that we do not lessen the weight of Divine reproof, by being familiar with such, as if all was well; for they are apt to be fond of the instrument through whom they have been reached; and if by their fondling, they gain the esteem of such a Friend, it seems to heal them before their wounds are searched to the bottom; so that I rather chose retirement, and to live as privately as I well could. I also saw, that if I had sought many acquaintances, and thereby beheld the conduct and behaviour of some in their families, my way would not have been so open as it now was.

In many meetings the love and power of truth was felt by the humble dependent children, whose eyes were fixed on their heavenly Helper, and at some of the last in London, I had with an innocent boldness to appeal to Friends to bear witness of the manner in which I had spent my time in that city; that I had not sought to be popular, nor endeavoured to gain the praise of any, or the friendship of those who were not the real Friends of truth, keeping in a good degree under the innocency and simplicity thereof. Though with a near affection I felt my spirit united to the children of the heavenly family amongst them; I had never sought to steal their love from the great Parent to whom they did belong; my prayer and heart's desire having been, that their abode might be in the truth, and their affections placed on God, and the whole delight of their hearts to meditate in his holy law. If through me as an instrument they had received any benefit, the praise belonged to the Lord, the only Supreme good; and if in future they did but love, fear and serve him, it was little to me whether they remembered that I had been amongst them. Nevertheless a participation of the love of God by the members of the true church, has taught them to know the communion of saints and the deeply engraven unity of the one spirit, which makes them as epistles written in one another's hearts, which time or distance can never erase.

Having spent first and last in London about twenty-three weeks, on the 9th day of the eighth month and sixth of the week, after a solid meeting at Grace-church Street, I felt myself at liberty to set my face homewards. The ship in which I came over, and the same captain, Stephen Mesnard, being now ready to go for Philadelphia, I went that night to Gravesend, accompanied by about twelve Friends. Next morning we went on board the ship, where we had a precious uniting time, and then returned on shore to dine; after which my friend, Samuel Fothergill and myself, taking leave of our friends, went on board again and passed down the Thames to Margaret Bay, near the isle of Thanet. On first-day, the 11th, we went to the Downs, by Deal, and though very much indisposed in body, I enjoyed such quietude of mind, that I was borne up and preserved from repining.

Samuel Fothergill, before mentioned, came over with me on a religious visit to Friends in America; and during our passage, great nearness was between us; we held meetings constantly on the first and fifth days of the week, and landed near Wilmington, in New Castle county, on Delaware, on the 24th of the ninth month, 1754, in the forenoon. My brother, William Brown, with our friend Joshua Dixon, from the county of Durham, in Great Britain, who was coming over also on a religious visit to Friends in these colonies, having embarked in another ship, which sailed some time before us, arrived on the same day, and quite unexpectedly to each other we met in this town to our mutual joy and satisfaction; from which after dining, they with Samuel Fothergill, proceeded up to Philadelphia, and I went home that evening, where I found a kind reception. In this visit I was absent from home four years and twelve days, having travelled by land about nine thousand one hundred miles, and attended about one thousand meetings, besides those in London and Dublin, in which cities I spent nearly half a year, and visited all the families of Friends in North and South Holland.

Chapter V.

His attending the quarterly meetings at Philadelphia and Concord—The yearly meeting at Philadelphia and quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury in New Jersey—An account of an exercise attending his mind relating to the war and public commotions—A conference of several Friends thereon, with their address to the Assembly of Pennsylvania on the subject, and an epistle to Friends in that province, in the year 1755—His attendance of the general spring meeting in Philadelphia, in 1756, and some account of the calamities of the Indian war in Pennsylvania—An account of the yearly meeting in Philadelphia the same year—A relation of a visit of Peter Gardiner to Friends in Scotland—A brief account of an Indian treaty at Easton, in 1757—Some sentences expressed in two of his public testimonies.

Our yearly meeting for worship at Nottingham, was held in the week after I landed, and I was greatly rejoiced to see many of my friends and acquaintances there.

In the eleventh month following I went up to the quarterly meeting in Philadelphia, and returned to ours at Concord, where also was Samuel Fothergill. It was a very large meeting, in which he was divinely opened in speaking to the state of Friends in his public ministry, and serviceable in the discipline; he also attended our general meeting in the same month at London-grove, which was large and profitable; then went towards Lancaster, on his way to the Southern provinces.

I spent this winter mostly at and near home, at times attending some neighbouring meetings, until towards the spring, when I took a small journey to seven or eight others.

During my late travels in Europe, beholding the declension of many of the professors of truth from the ancient simplicity in habit and deportment, I sometimes was ready to cry out and say, O Pennsylvania! May your inhabitants be forever strangers to the vanities of the world, and the professors of truth keep their garments clean from the spots thereof, pride and superfluity of every kind; but now with sorrow of heart, I thought I beheld many of the youth in our Society taking their flight as into the air, where the snares of the prince of the power thereof are laid to catch them; some of whom are already much ensnared to their unspeakable hurt, and their demeanour and habit being exceedingly altered in a little more than four years; yet to my comfort I saw a few, who by walking in the light, had escaped the wiles of satan and were growing in the truth.

In the fourth month, 1755, I attended the general annual meeting at Duck Creek, also meetings at Little Creek and George's Creek, the last of which was more open than I expected, several of other societies being there, who behaved orderly. I spent most of the summer at home, diligently attending our meetings for worship and discipline, and had to observe that the greater part of the members of our meeting, were for some time remarkable in their care to come together near the hour appointed, and we had some precious opportunities, many of which were held in silence. I often saw it to be a time of renewed visitation to many, which if not carefully improved, would not be continued very long; but that a more trying season would overtake us, of which I was sometimes led to speak as truth opened, wherein the door of outward ministry would be more closed up, which would prove the religion of the professors of truth, and manifest what they attended meetings for, whether to wait upon God for the spiritual bread, or on man for outward ministry.

In the ninth month I attended our yearly meeting in Philadelphia, which was large and solid, wherein many weighty matters under consideration, were concluded to satisfaction; and many Friends parted in a feeling sense of the overshadowing of the Heavenly wing, with reverent thankfulness of heart.

In the tenth month I attended Shrewsbury quarterly meeting in East Jersey, at which also were our friends John Evans and Joseph White. It was large, the sittings thereof being favoured with a degree of the Divine presence. We also attended the monthly meeting there and had some service; Friends were encouraged to deal with such who were disorderly in conduct, there having been some slackness among them in that respect.

As the sound of war and public commotions had now entered the borders of these heretofore peaceful provinces, some solid thoughts attended my mind at Shrewsbury, respecting the nature of giving money for the king's use, knowing the same to be intended for the carrying on of war. John Evans accompanying me homewards, we took three meetings in our way, the last being at Evesham; at which place I told him I felt an engagement of mind to go to Philadelphia, and he consented to go with me. When we came to the city the assembly of Pennsylvania was sitting, and we understood that a committee of the house was appointed to prepare a bill for granting a sum of money for the king's use, to be issued in paper bills of credit, to be called in and sunk at a stated time by a tax on the inhabitants; on which account several Friends were under a close exercise of mind, some of whom being providentially together, and conferring on the subject, concluded it was expedient to request a conference with those members of the house who were of our religious profession. On applying to the speaker, who was one himself, we obtained an opportunity of conversing with them; after which we believed that an address to the assembly would be necessary; but we then being only few in number, consulted with several weighty Friends thereon; at length upwards of twenty met together, who after solidly considering the matter before us, were all of opinion that an address to the assembly would be proper and necessary; whereupon one was drawn up, which being considered, agreed to and signed by all of us, we went together to the house, and presenting it to the speaker, it was read while we were present; a copy whereof here follows:

To the Representatives of the freemen of the province of Pennsylvania, in general assembly met: The address of some of the people called Quakers, in the said province, on behalf of themselves and others.

The consideration of the measures which have lately been pursued, and are now proposed, having been weightily impressed on our minds, we apprehend that we should fall short of our duty to you, to ourselves and to our brethren in religious fellowship, if we do not in this manner inform you, that we shall at all times heartily and freely contribute, according to our circumstances, either by the payment of taxes, or in such other manner as may be judged necessary, towards the exigencies of government, and sincerely desire that due care may be taken, and proper funds provided, for raising money to cultivate our friendship with our Indian neighbours, and to support such of our fellow subjects, who are or may be in distress, and for such other like benevolent purposes. Yet as the raising sums of money, and putting them into the hands of committees, who may apply them to purposes inconsistent with the peaceable testimony we profess, and have borne to the world, appears to us in its consequences, to be destructive of our religious liberties; we apprehend many among us will be under the necessity of suffering, rather than consenting thereto, by the payment of a tax for such purposes; and thus the fundamental part of our constitution may be essentially affected; and that free enjoyment of liberty of conscience by degrees be violated, for the sake of which, our forefathers left their native country, and settled this then a wilderness.

We sincerely assure you, we have no temporal motives for thus addressing you; and could we have preserved peace in our own minds, and with each other, we should have declined it; being unwilling to give you any unnecessary trouble, and deeply sensible of your difficulty in discharging the trust committed to you, irreproachable in these perilous times. This has engaged our fervent desires, that the immediate instructions of Supreme wisdom, may influence your minds; and that being preserved in a steady attention thereto, you may be enabled to secure peace and tranquillity to yourselves and those you represent, by pursuing measures consistent with our peaceable principles; and then we trust we may continue humbly to confide in the protection of that Almighty power, whose providence has heretofore been as walls and bulwarks round about us.

Philadelphia, Eleventh month 7th, 1755.

A bill was however brought in by the committee of the assembly, and a law enacted for granting a large sum of money proposed to be sunk by a general tax.

When this service before related was over, in which I apprehended it my duty to be concerned, I returned home; but a close exercise remained on me as well as on the minds of several other Friends, on account of the law now passed; and as care had been taken to apprise the assembly of the solid sentiments of Friends thereon, that we apprehended our charter respecting liberty of conscience, would thereby be affected; therefore a large committee of the yearly meeting, which had been appointed to visit the quarterly and monthly meetings, met at Philadelphia in the twelfth month, had a conference thereon, together with another committee nominated to correspond with the meeting for sufferings in London; and after several solid opportunities of waiting on the Lord to be rightly instructed, and being favoured with a renewed sense of the ownings of truth, many Friends thought they could not be clear as faithful watchmen, without communicating to their brethren their mind and judgment concerning the payment of such a tax; for which purpose an epistle was prepared, considered, agreed to and signed by twenty-one Friends; copies thereof were concluded to be communicated to the monthly meetings, being as follows:

An epistle of tender love and caution to Friends in Pennsylvania.

Dear and well beloved Friends, We salute you in a fresh and renewed sense of our heavenly Father's love, which has graciously overshadowed us in several weighty and solid conferences we have had together, with many other Friends, upon the present situation of the affairs of the Society in this province; and in that love, we find our spirits engaged to acquaint you, that under a solid exercise of mind to seek for council and direction, from the High Priest of our profession, who is the Prince of peace, we believe he has renewedly favoured us with strong and lively evidences, that in his appointed time, the day which has dawned in these latter ages, foretold by the Prophet, wherein swords should be beaten into plough-shares, and spears into pruning-hooks, shall gloriously rise higher and higher; and the spirit of the gospel, which teaches to love enemies, prevail to that degree, that the art of war shall be no more learned. It is his determination to exalt this blessed day, in this our age, if in the depth of humility we receive his instructions and obey his voice. And being painfully apprehensive, that the large sum granted by the late act of assembly for the king's use, is principally intended for purposes inconsistent with our peaceable testimony; we therefore think, that as we cannot be concerned in wars and fightings, so neither ought we to contribute thereto, by paying the tax directed by the said act, though suffering be the consequence of our refusal, which we hope to be enabled to bear with patience. Though some part of the money to be raised by the said act, is said to be for such benevolent purposes, as supporting our friendship with our Indian neighbours, and relieving the distresses of our fellow subjects, who have suffered in the present calamities, for whom our hearts are deeply pained, and we affectionately, and with bowels of tenderness, sympathize with them therein; and we could most cheerfully contribute to those purposes, if they were not so mixed, that we cannot in the manner proposed, show our hearty concurrence therewith, without at the same time assenting to, or allowing practices, which we apprehend contrary to the testimony which the Lord has given us to bear, for his name and truth's sake.

Having the health and prosperity of the Society at heart, we earnestly exhort Friends to wait for the appearing of the true light, and stand in the counsel of God, that we may know him to be the Rock of salvation and place of our refuge forever. Beware of the spirit of the world, that is unstable, and often draws into dark and timorous reasonings; lest the god thereof should be permitted to blind the eye of the mind. Such, not knowing the sure foundation, the Rock of ages, may partake of the terrors and fears, which are not known to the inhabitants of that fold, where the sheep and lambs of Christ ever had a quiet habitation, with a measure of which a remnant have to say, to the praise of his name, they have been blessed, in this day of distress.

Our fidelity to the present government, and our willingly paying all taxes for purposes which do not interfere with our consciences, justly exempt us from the imputation of disloyalty; and we earnestly desire that all, who by a deep and quiet seeking for direction from the holy Spirit, are, or shall be, convinced that he calls us as a people to this testimony, may dwell under the guidance of the same Divine Spirit, and manifest by the meekness and humility of their conduct, that they are really under that influence; and therein may know true fortitude and patience to bear that, and every other testimony committed to them, faithfully and uniformly. And may all Friends know their spirits clothed with true charity, the bond of Christian fellowship; wherein we again tenderly salute you, and remain your friends and brethren.

Philadelphia, Twelfth month 16th, 1755.

In the year 1756 I attended our general spring meeting in Philadelphia, at which we had the company of our dear friends, Samuel Fothergill and Catharine Payton, from Great Britain, and her companion, Mary Peasley, from Ireland, and it was a solemn edifying meeting. The Indians having burnt several houses on the frontiers of this province, also at Gnadenhutten, in Northampton county, and murdered and scalped some of the inhabitants; at the time of this meeting, two or three of the dead bodies were brought to Philadelphia in a wagon, with an intent as was supposed, to animate the people to unite in preparations of war, to take vengeance on the Indians, and destroy them. They were carried along several of the streets, many people following, cursing the Indians, and also the Quakers, because they would not join in war for destruction of the Indians. The sight of the dead bodies and the outcry of the people, were very afflicting and shocking to me. Standing at the door of a Friend's house as they passed along, my mind was humbled and turned inward, and I was made secretly to cry, “What will become of Pennsylvania?” For it felt to me that many did not consider that the sins of the inhabitants, pride, profane swearing, drunkenness, with other wickedness, were the cause why the Lord had permitted this calamity and scourge to come upon them. The weight of my exercise increasing as I walked along the street; at length it was said in my soul, “This land is polluted with blood, and in the day of inquisition for blood, it will not only be required at the frontiers and borders, but even in this place where these bodies are now seen.” I said within myself, “How can this be? since this has been a land of peace, and as yet not much concerned in war;” but as it were in a moment my eyes turned to the case of the poor enslaved Negroes. And however light a matter they who have been concerned in it may look upon the purchasing, selling, or keeping those oppressed people in slavery, it then appeared plain to me, that such were partakers in iniquity, encouragers of war and the shedding of innocent blood, which is often the case, where those unhappy people are captivated and brought away for slaves. The same day I went to Pine Street meeting in an exercised, mournful state of mind, and thought I could be willing to sit among the people undiscovered.

I attended our quarterly meeting at Concord in the fifth month, and in a few days after went to the yearly meeting at West River, in Maryland, which was large and in a good degree satisfactory. Then went to meetings at Herring Creek and the Clifts, and returned the following first-day to West River, where I had a good opportunity to clear myself towards Friends of that place; being concerned on account of several of the elders, who did not conduct so exemplarily as they ought before the youth. I left them relieved in my mind, and returned home, taking several meetings in my way.

In the ninth month I was at our yearly meeting for Pennsylvania and New Jersey, held this year at Burlington, which was large and edifying; many weighty matters being in much brotherly love resulted to satisfaction. Our friend, Thomas Gawthrop, from Great Britain, was there. In the time thereof, our worthy friend and brother, John Evans, of Gwynnedd, departing this life, Thomas and I went to attend the burial, on which solemn occasion he had a seasonable opportunity to remind a large gathering of people of their latter end; and I thought it was a solid time.

Being one of the committee appointed by the yearly meeting to visit the quarterly and monthly meetings, I was careful in attending on that service as way was opened, in company with other Friends, as likewise our meeting for sufferings, established this year, and held monthly in Philadelphia, frequently taking meetings in my way going and returning. In the spring of the year 1757, I also attended our general meeting for ministers and elders, held at Philadelphia.

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I have often remembered a remarkable account given me, when in England, by our ancient, worthy Friend, John Richardson, which made such an impression on my mind that I committed it to writing, and think it is worthy to be preserved, being nearly as follows:

Peter Gardiner, a Friend who lived in Essex, England, had a concern to visit Friends in Scotland; but being low in circumstances, and having a wife and several children, was under discouragement about it. The Lord in mercy condescended to remove his doubts, by letting him know he would be with him, and though he had no horse to ride, and was but a weakly man, yet that he would give him strength to perform the journey, and sustain him so that he should not be in need of what was sufficient. Having faith in the Divine promise, he laid his concern before the monthly meeting he belonged to, with innocent weight; and friends concurring with him therein, he took his journey along the east side of the nation, through Norfolk, Lincolnshire and Yorkshire, and coming to a weekday meeting at Bridlington, where John Richardson then dwelt, he lodged at his house. In the evening the doors being shut, Peter asked him if any Friend lived that way, pointing with his finger; John told him he pointed towards the sea, which was not far from there. He said he believed he must go and see somebody that way in the morning. John asked him if he should go with him? he said he believed it would not be best, and so went to bed.

In the morning when John's wife had prepared breakfast, he thought he would go and see if the Friend was well, but found that he was gone; at which John Richardson wondered. Soon after, Peter came in, to whom John said, You have taken a morning walk, come to breakfast. Before they had done eating, a Friend from the quay, or harbour, which lay in the direction that Peter Gardiner pointed to over night, came in, and said, ‘I wonder at you, John, to send this man with such a message to my house;' and related as follows: That he came to him as he was standing at the fish-market-place, looking on the sea, to observe the wind, and he asked him if he would walk into his house? To which Peter answered that he came for that purpose; this was in the twilight of the morning. When he went into the house, Peter inquired whether his wife was well; to which the man answered, that she was sick in bed, and invited him to go in and see her; he said he came so to do. Being conducted into the chamber where the sick woman was, he sat down by her; and after a short time told her, that the resignation of her mind was accepted instead of the deed, and that she was excused from the journey which had been before her, and should die in peace with God and men. Then turning to the man, her husband, he said, “Your wife had a concern to visit the churches in another country beyond the sea, but you would not give her leave, so she shall be taken from you; and behold, the Lord's hand is against you, and you shall be blasted in whatsoever you do, and reduced to beg your bread.” The man seemed angry with John Richardson, who said to him, “Be still, and weigh the matter, for I knew not of the Friend's going to your house; but thought he was in bed, and did not inform him about you nor your wife;” at which he went away.

Peter pursued his journey towards Scotland, John Richardson and another Friend going with him to Scarborough on horseback, for he would not let them go on foot with him, he kept before them as fast as they chose to ride; and when they had gone about half way, he gained on them, and John said he was filled with admiration, for he seemed to go with more slight and ease than ever he had seen any man before. Riding fast to overtake him, he thought he beheld a small white cloud as it were encompassing his head; and when he overtook him John said to him, You do travel very fast. Peter replied, My Master told me, before I left home, that he would give me hinds feet, and he has performed his promise to me.

When they came in sight of Scarborough, Peter said, take me to a Friend's house if there is any there. John replied, I will take you to the place where I lodge, and if you are not easy there, I will go until we find a place, if it may be. So John Richardson took him to his lodgings, and just as they entered the door, they heard someone go up stairs, and the woman Friend of the house coming down with a neighbour of hers, invited them to sit down. In a short time Peter said, Here is light and darkness, good and bad in this house. After the woman had got them some refreshment, she came and asked John, Who have you brought here? A man of God, he replied.

Having a meeting at Scarborough the next day, John Richardson stayed with him, and said he had good service; he also went with him to several Friends' houses there, and he frequently spoke his sense of the state of the families; but as they were about entering one house, Peter stopped, and said, My Master is not there, I will not go in, so they turned away.

Next morning at parting, John Richardson asked him how he was prepared for money, telling him the journey was long. Peter answered, I have enough, my Master told me I should not go without, and a bit of bread, and some water from a brook refreshes me as much as a set meal at a table. John insisted to see how much money he had, which was but two half-crowns; upon which John took a handful of small pieces out of his pocket, and forced Peter to take them, telling him it was as free to him as his own, for so the Lord had put it into his heart. Thus they parted, John and the other Friend returning home.

In about two weeks afterwards the man's wife, before mentioned, died, as Peter had foretold. At that time, the man had three ships at sea; his son was master of one, and a second son was on board of another, and in their voyages they were all wrecked, or foundered, and their cargoes chiefly lost; his two sons and several of the hands being drowned. The man soon after broke and could not pay his debts, but came to beg bread before he died, though he had been in good circumstances, if not very rich.

Some time after, John Richardson heard that Peter Gardiner died in Cumberland, on his return from Scotland, and being attached to him in near affection, he went to inquire how he ended.

John Bowstead, a noted Friend near Carlisle, informed him that Peter had been through Scotland, and came to Carlisle, and the small-pox being there, he took the infection very suddenly, and lay ill with it. John Bowstead went, just as the pock was coming out on him, and took him to his house; they never came out kindly, but swelled him very much, so that he was blind, and died about the seventh day. He was quite sensible to the last, and knew the states of those who came to see him.[3]

Returning to John Churchman’s Journal:

On the 12th of the seventh month, this year, I left home in order to attend a treaty to be held between the Indians and our government, at Easton, in Northampton-county; and proceeded to Philadelphia, where I was present at several conferences with Friends; the governor having declared his dislike to their attendance at that treaty, or their distinguishing themselves by giving the Indians any presents. The result was, that as mutual tokens of the revival of ancient friendship had passed between Friends and the Indians, with a view to promote a general peace, it would be of bad consequence now to neglect or decline attending on this important occasion; though it was judged necessary for Friends to act with great caution. We therefore set forward, and taking a meeting at Gwynnedd in the way, reached Easton on fourth-day, the 21st of the month, the governor having arrived about two hours before us; but did not enter on business that day.

Many Friends from Philadelphia and other parts being here collected, we held a meeting on fifth-day, which was low and dull, things appearing very dark. In the afternoon, the Indians with Teedyuscung, their king, or chief man, went to the governor and signified the sincerity of their intentions to promote the good work of peace, when he delivered several strings and belts of wampum, in order to certify the full power and authority given to Teedyuscung for that purpose, who also desired that as things had heretofore been misunderstood, or forgotten, he might have the liberty to choose a clerk to take the minutes of the transactions at this treaty on behalf of the Indians; which was put off by the governor at that time.

Next morning Teedyuscung renewed the same request, but was again put by: then the Indians began to be very uneasy, from an apprehension that some people from the Jersey side of the river were likely to rise, with a design to destroy them; but on going to converse with them, and giving them some pipes and tobacco, which they were told was a present from Friends, they became more quiet, and seemingly pacified; this day and the next there was little business done.

On first-day, the 24th of the month. Friends held a public meeting in the treaty-booth, to pretty good satisfaction, to which a great number of people came, two Friends having acceptable service therein. In the afternoon Friends' met again; but there seemed so great a cloud over the meeting, by reason of a raw careless spirit prevailing over the minds of the people, as though there was no God, notwithstanding his judgments are so conspicuous, especially in these parts of the country, that life did not arise in this meeting. About sunset this evening, we heard that the Mohawk Indians had requested to have a fire made to dance round, which the governor allowed, as he had the evening before to the Delawares, with both which we were very uneasy, as the tendency thereof was to make the Indians drunk; but no endeavours of ours could prevent it.

On second-day morning the governor agreed to allow the Indian king to choose himself a clerk, which he did, and about one o'clock that day the treaty was first opened in public, when Teedyuscung was desired fully to inform, with an open heart, wherein he apprehended the Indians had been defrauded by the proprietaries, to which he answered that he would to-morrow; but they must first clean up the blood, as he expressed it, and bury the dead bodies. Next day being again met, the king said, that according to his word, he had met some of the several nations to do what they could for settling peace; but in the first place he had seen and considered the black cloud that hung over the land, the blood and bodies of the people who had suffered. I have gathered up the stained leaves, the blood and dead bodies, and looked round about; when all seemed terrible, so that I could find no place to hide them; but looking up, I saw the great and good Spirit above. Let us heartily join in prayer to Him, that he may give us power to bury all these things out of our sight, that neither the evil spirit, nor any wicked person may ever be able to raise them; that we may love like brethren, and the sun may shine clear upon us, that we, our wives, our young men and children may rejoice in a lasting peace, that we may eat the fruits of the earth, and they may do us good, so that we may enjoy peace in the day time, and at night lie down and sleep in it. He gave a belt of seventeen rows of wampum.

By another belt he told the governor, that he took him by one hand, and the Five Nations of Indians and their allies took him by the other, therefore, said he, let us all stand as one man, with one heart and one mind, and join in this good work of peace. When we intend to lift or remove a great weight, we must be strong, if all do not exert themselves we can never do it; but if all heartily join, it is easy to remove it. Our forefathers did not proceed right when they met together, they looked at the earth and things present, which will soon pass out of our sight; but did not look forward to the good of posterity. Let us set out right, and do better than they did, that a peace may be settled which may last to our children.

He next acquainted the governor, that one of the messengers who had gone on a late message to the Indians afar off, meaning Moses Tatamy's son, was shot on his return by one of our young men, and lay in a dangerous condition; and by a string of wampum insisted, that if he died, the other should be tried by our law, and suffer death also; and that some of their people should be present, to be able to inform the other nations of Indians of the justice done. He also revived the ancient agreement, that if any of them should commit the like offence, the criminal should be delivered up to be tried according to our laws, and suffer death in the same manner.

On fourth-day there was no public treaty, things seemed in much confusion and very dull; but Friends kept quiet. Next day I found myself much indisposed, and therefore thought it best to leave Easton; but before I left it Friends had a solemn opportunity together, at which time I thought I saw, that the working of the dark revengeful spirit, which opposed the measures of peace, was one reason why Friends were so baptized into distress and suffering, of which I made some mention to Friends, and that if they kept quiet, the clouds as to them would somewhat break away; Daniel Stanton had a solemn time in supplication. After this meeting taking leave of Friends, I rode to Richland, and though my distemper increased and I was very ill, I pursued my journey the next day, and the day following reached Philadelphia, where I was carefully attended through a time of tedious and close affliction. My dear wife coming to me in my illness, was also taken with the same disorder, that we were not able to move homewards until the 23rd of the eighth month, but through the goodness of kind Providence in supporting us, got to our own habitation the next day in the evening.

After about a weeks' stay I set out again to attend the meeting for sufferings in Philadelphia, though very weak, and after tarrying part of three days in town, went to attend the monthly meetings in Bucks county, of which I had a view while I lay sick; when it appeared to me the way to recover my strength was to be faithful to every discovery of duty. In company with several other Friends appointed by the yearly meeting, I visited the several monthly meetings in that county, in some of which a degree of the Divine presence being felt, was cause of thankfulness; though at one of them we had some remarkably close work, both in the time of worship and discipline.

Returning to Philadelphia much recovered, I spent five days there attending meetings as they came in course; and then went to Newtown meeting in Chester county, which was small, there being an evident slackness of attending week-day meetings. From there I went to Uwchland, to the marriage of William Trimble and Phebe Thomas, which was a good meeting, where I met my dear wife on her way to the yearly meeting at Philadelphia; and after attending a meeting at Merion, we went into the city the next evening. Our friends, Thomas Gawthrop, Samuel Spavold, William Reckitt and others from Great Britain, also Thomas Nicholson from North Carolina, were at this yearly meeting, which was large and satisfactory, holding from the 17th to the 24th of the ninth month, 1757.

Before I left home to attend the late Indian treaty at Easton, I thought in my sleep, that I was riding eastward in the twilight, and saw a light before me towards sun-rising, which did not appear to be a common light. I observed the appearance of something therein, whereat the beast I rode was much affrighted, and would have ran from it, which I knew would be in vain; for I took it to be an angel, whose motion was as swift as thought, so rather stopped and reined in my beast towards it. It was encompassed with a brightness like a rainbow, with a large loose garment of the same colour down to the feet. It rather seemed to move than to walk, and stood still in the midst of many curious stacks of corn; and smiling on me, asked where I was going. I said towards yonder building, which I thought was an elegant one directly before me; it seemed to approve my way and vanished upwards. Then I awakened and had particularly to remember the complexion of this angelic apparition, which was not much different from one of the Indians clean washed from his grease and filth; remembering my dream very fresh, when I had seen the Indians at the treaty, and had heard some matters remarkably spoken to by some particulars of them, I was made to believe it was not unreasonable to conclude, that the Lord was in them by his good Spirit, and that all colours were equal to him, who gave life and being to all mankind; we should therefore be careful to examine deeper than the outward appearance, with a tender regard to station and education, if we desire to be preserved from error in judgment.

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The following sentences being delivered by John Churchman in two of his public testimonies, were soon after committed to writing by a Friend who was present, and appearing worthy to be further preserved, are now communicated.

In a first-day meeting at East Nottingham, the 19th of the twelfth month, 1756, he expressed nearly as follows: “I felt my mind in this meeting remarkably drawn from outward observation, and was commanded to centre in deep and awful silence, wherein there was such a flowing of good will to mankind, as is scarcely to be uttered by tongue. Thus centering with diligent attention, I thought I felt a strong power of darkness and stupid ignorance, seemingly combined to make war against this solemn attention of mind; yet after patiently waiting some time, to my comfort I felt a secret victory, and the darkness vanished. Then a voice was uttered in me, attended, I thought, with Divine authority thus; ‘I will bow the inhabitants of the earth, and particularly of this land, and I will make them fear and reverence me, either in mercy or in judgment.’ Hereupon a prospect immediately opened to my view of a day of calamity and sore distress which was approaching, and in which the careless and stupid professors, who are easy, and not concerned properly to worship and adore the Almighty, and have not laboured to witness their foundation to be laid on Him the immovable Rock, will be greatly surprised with fearfulness. On the behalf of such, a cry and lamentation ran through me, thus; Alas for the day! Alas for the day! Woe is me! And a voice which seemed to be connected with the foregoing, said further; ‘Yet once more, says the Lord, I shake not the earth only, but also heaven. Not only the situation of those who know not any place of safety or refuge, but that which is outward and earthly; but also those who assume a higher place, and in their specious appearances and false pretences amongst men, do value themselves on their assumed goodness, and would eagerly be accounted of the highest rank, and even place themselves among the saints, and are by some accounted as stars in the firmament; yet in the day of my power wherein I will shake the heavens and the earth, those stars shall fall to the ground.’

“In the opening, something within me was ready to say, Amen so be it! O Lord Almighty, cut short your work in the earth, in order that you may put an end to sin and finish transgression, that your fear, and the knowledge of you, may cover the earth, as the waters cover the sea. Wherefore, my friends, the fervent desire of my soul is, that all present may with diligence labour to have their minds truly centered and humbled before God, to know a being fixed on that foundation which only stands sure, that in a time of outward distress, which perhaps may come in your day, you may find a place of safety and refuge.”

All which with more to the like effect, was delivered in great humility and brokenness.

At a week-day meeting at the same place, the 17th of the second month, 1757, several persons by unseasonably coming in, interrupted the quiet of the meeting, and he gave a suitable caution in that respect, in gentle winning terms, reminding those met of the awfulness and solemnity which should attend us when we approach the presence of Him who is most holy; and in what reverence, fear and care, we ought to come together, not forgetting the hour appointed; and then expressed nearly as follows:

“A certain sentence has been presented to the view of my mind, which seemed to contain a gentle engaging caution, and matter of instruction to me, attended with sweetness; which was, ‘Work while it is day.’ Friends, this is our day, wherein we ought to be diligent and industrious. In the light of the day we may see and understand how to work, and what to do, that at the conclusion we may obtain from the Master of the day, who dwells in light, the answer of well done; for the night will come, wherein no man can work. We are favoured with liberty in this day, to assemble together for worship unmolested; and my hearty desire is, that we may properly improve this mercy; for the time to some of us may come, before our day in this life is closed, wherein this privilege may in some measure be taken from us. Something in me would be ready to say, 'The Lord forbid that it should be the case;' but by reason of the great declension which has overspread the church, I hardly dare to expect any other. Oh may we therefore be careful to prize the mercy of God, and endeavour to gain an inheritance in the light, that when night overtakes, and darkness as to the outward, may hang over us, we may be favoured to withdraw into the sure hiding place, and know a quiet habitation!”

Chapter VI.

Visits to meetings in Pennsylvania and New Jersey—also in Maryland and Virginia—His apprehensions of duty to proceed on a visit to Barbados and resignation thereto, but at length became most easy to decline it—The settlement of Uwchland monthly meeting with his epistle to Friends there—Some weighty expressions uttered in the time of his sickness in the year 1761.

Having drawings in my mind to visit the meetings of Friends in the counties of Philadelphia and Bucks, and being under an appointment of the yearly meeting to join with others in a visit to the monthly meetings, I informed our monthly meeting at Nottingham, with whose concurrence I left home on the 3rd of the twelfth month, 1757, accompanied by a near relation, and attended Darby meeting on first-day, wherein, though life and the power of truth seemed to be low, I thought the humble waiters were encouraged. We went to the evening meeting in Philadelphia; next morning attended the meeting of ministers and elders, and the day following a meeting at the Bank, also a meeting for sufferings; and on fourth-day returned to Darby, to their monthly meeting, where we found Friends under a strait about disowning one among them, who denied the divinity of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; on whom they had bestowed much labour to convince him of his error. The meeting ended well; the company of the Friends who attended it being acceptable and of service.

We were next day at Haverford monthly meeting held at Radnor, where the lively exercise of the discipline appeared to be very low, yet I was glad I was there. During the time of the business, feeling a concern on my mind to appoint a meeting at Haverford, to be held the next day, I proposed it for concurrence, which being readily agreed to, we attended there accordingly, and had a large meeting much to satisfaction, having great peace in observing the motion of Truth respecting this appointment. On the following day accompanied by my friend, Hugh Evans, I visited some ancient Friends, who by reason of old age and indisposition, could not get out to meetings, wherein I was favoured with that peace which I have often experienced to attend the acceptable work of visiting the afflicted.

On first-day, after a satisfactory meeting at Merion, I went to the evening meeting in Philadelphia, in which Truth favoured with a degree of openness, to the instruction and comfort of many. On third-day afternoon, accompanied by my brother, William Brown, went forward to Richland monthly meeting held on fifth-day, where we had some close hard work, which generally happens when a lifeless formal spirit has the prevalence in managing the affairs of the church, for lack of feeling after and waiting for the true authority, even the power of God; yet we were glad that we were there. My brother returned home, but the rest of us went to an appointed meeting at Plumstead, which, though the weather was severely cold, was large and comfortable, in the sense whereof we were thankful to the Author of all good.

The meeting next day at Buckingham, was small but satisfactory. The severity of the weather is not a sufficient excuse for the Lord's panting children to neglect public worship, which is a duty incumbent on us and due to his glorious name. At Wrightstown meeting the next day, the Master of our assemblies was pleased to appear in an eminent manner, to the comfort of the poor, instruction of the inquirers, rebuke of the backsliders, and edification of many; for which the sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise was offered to Him, who alone is worthy forever.

After this meeting I felt the value of that peace, which by the humble is better felt than expressed. We had next a good meeting at Makefield, at which were many seeking tender young people; then attended the Falls preparative meeting, which was satisfactory, a comfortable degree of unity subsisting among Friends. Our next meeting was at Bristol, in which after a dark distressing time in silence, what I had to communicate, was introduced by a question thus; Are you sound in faith and practice? I was led to set forth, that to profess and acknowledge even sacred truth, without a life of self-denial, with an answerable honest conduct, was no way sufficient; that being a dead faith, which produces not good works in him who says he believes showing what stumbling-blocks nominal professors are, who by their example plainly manifest that they are not possessors of what they profess to have, and are the greatest enemies the truth has, which I was doubtful was the case with some among them. I had peace in this plain dealing. Our next was a laborious meeting at Byberry, yet yielded a degree of the same peace; a Friend afterwards told me that the state of the meeting was clearly spoken to, which I relate not for any praise to man; but that it was an additional confirmation of the Lord's sufficiency to his own work; and when we are weak, foolish, or contemptible in our own esteem, his strength appears, and his wisdom inspires with true knowledge, whereby he magnifies himself. We went home with our friend, James Thornton, and next day to Horsham, where was a large and good meeting; after which we had a comfortable time in the family of John Cadwalader.

Next day we attended the monthly meeting at Abington, in company with Samuel Eastburn and Joseph White; we found things low here, because of a lack of that strength in which stands the authority of the church; it is only the pure wisdom from above, that preserves Friends in peace, meekness, gentleness, and unanimity in the distribution of right judgment in the church of Christ.

We were next day at Gwynnedd monthly meeting, which was a precious time through the power of that sacred name, which is as ointment poured forth, the savour whereof continued through both worship and discipline, in which the faithful were mutually comforted. We went to Ellen Evans', and had an evening meeting, some of the neighbours coming in; several Friends were much enlarged in counsel, and the opportunity ended in solemn prayer and thanksgiving. We went from there to Exeter monthly meeting, which ended to satisfaction in the main; then home with our friend, Ellis Hugh, where Joseph White and Samuel Eastburn left us to return homewards. My companion and I proceeded to Reading, and had a public meeting in the court-house, which I thought was pretty well considering the company, many loose people attending; but Truth seemed to come into dominion and quieted them, that the meeting ended in a degree of awful sweetness.

On first-day, being the first of the new year, 1758, we were at Maiden Creek meeting, which although a low time, afforded peace and comfort, from a prospect that there were among the youth in particular, some true branches of the Vine of life, who could not be satisfied without the living sap from the holy Root, and in the Lord's time would be favoured therewith, if there was a patient waiting for that springing season. We returned to Reading that evening, to a meeting held by appointment at a Friend's house, for the members of our Society in that town, in the attendance of which I found peace; crossing the river Schuylkill, we were next day at Robinson, or the Forest meeting, after which I was much humbled in a sense of the great condescension and mercy of the Lord our God, who was pleased to renew the reaches of his power to several, who had many years made profession of the pure truth, and yet dwelt in that which is impure, as drinking to excess and other evils, some of whom I knew, but did not know that they were there till the meeting was over; the weak were strengthened and the humble seekers encouraged, and great love flowed towards the youth.

Returning again over Schuylkill, we went to that called Evans' meeting, which was very open for doctrine, several not of our Society being present: the first sentence that appeared in my view, was, “Many are called, but few are chosen,” attended with such weakness, and such a sense of my own foolishness and inability for handling that subject, that I was afraid, because I had a secret apprehension that some would incline to make an advantage of those words, “but few are chosen,” in applying them to strengthen themselves in the corrupt manner in which they hold election; but it appeared to me that because “All have not obeyed,” was the reason why so few are chosen. My mouth was opened in fear, even to trembling, yet with a secret hope and confidence that the Lord would be mouth and wisdom, with desires that he would bind my attention to his own immediate instruction, that the language of his Spirit only might be uttered by me; and he was pleased to magnify his own truth in the opening of these passages. I give this hint, that they who are concerned in the ministry may humbly trust in God, and not lean to their fears, knowledge, experience, or wisdom, in opening the mysteries of the gospel, but confide in the key of David; for when it opens none can shut.

Next day we were at Providence meeting, which was poor, and truth low, yet peace was afterwards measurably enjoyed, from an evidence of having been honest according to the ability given. On the day following, at Plymouth, faithful Friends were comforted in the gracious condescension of our holy Head, who was pleased to favour with the aboundings of the life and love of Truth; we then returned to Philadelphia with thankful hearts for the evidence of peace. My companion returning home, I went in company with my brother on first-day morning to Frankford, having felt an engagement for a considerable time to visit that meeting. A sense of the declension of Friends in this place, both in respect to numbers and the life of religion, was cause of heaviness of heart; but having performed my visit in faithfulness, according to ability, I returned with a degree of peace to the evening meeting in the city, which was comfortable. I remained there until the fifth-day of the week, in which time I attended the usual meetings; one with the Negroes much to satisfaction, and also the meeting for sufferings; and got safely home on seventh-day, the 14th of the first month; having travelled in this journey about four hundred and ten miles.

On the 22nd of the second month, I again left home in order to attend the quarterly meeting at Burlington, and some particular meetings in New Jersey, as well on account of the yearly meeting's appointment, as my own sense of duty, in which I had the approbation of our monthly meeting signified by a minute. I attended the monthly meeting in Philadelphia with some degree of satisfaction; then taking Chester or Adams' meeting in New Jersey, reached Burlington on first-day evening; the next day being the quarterly meeting, at which I had some service. After staying the youths' meeting, I went to a meeting on fourth-day at a school-house, where several Friends met, also many others who perhaps had not been at any place of worship for sometime, and were easy about religion, to whom it became my concern to show how disagreeable and loathsome that state was; “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot; so then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.” It opened to me that a lukewarm condition, holding a profession of religion, so as to take it ill not to be thought a Christian, but at the same time remaining easy and not in earnest to experience the life, virtue, and power of Christianity; not so cold as to forget the name, nor so hot or zealous as to witness the life of true religion, was very displeasing to the Almighty. A good degree of power attended the opening, and in treating on that passage, with much love to such lukewarm professors, which reached and tendered several beyond expectation; but no praise to man, though he may will or run, but to God who shows mercy.

At Chesterfield monthly meeting, my friend John Woolman met me the next day; a raw company attending on account of a proposal or two for marriage, which I suppose they expected to be there presented; it was a time somewhat low and distressing. The advice of the yearly meeting was not enough observed, which is against allowing such as are not members of our Society to sit in our meetings for discipline, unless they are nearly related to the parties concerned, of which that meeting was modestly reminded. I was also grieved that matters were introduced too much at the judgment or pleasure of individuals, by reason that they are not in the practice of holding preparative meetings, the service of which, was particularly recommended to their consideration. I had some reward of peace in having attended this meeting. We were next at a meeting in Trenton, with a few Friends whom the spirit of the world, I thought, had much laid waste; there seemed more openness towards a few of other societies present, some of whom were tendered by truth's testimony, which seemed to reach the witness in them.

At Bordentown meeting next day, many were made thankful, the Divine presence being felt among us; from there John Woolman returned home, and John Sykes accompanied me to Upper Springfield, where the meeting was large, and through the Lord's mercy, open and satisfactory; the testimony of truth flowing in his love towards the youth, many were tendered thereby, the faithful were encouraged and the negligent warned. I went to Burlington to attend that monthly meeting; then to the burial of Margaret Butcher, at Mansfield, which was a laborious painful meeting, composed of a mixed multitude, yet something of an evidence attended truth's testimony, so that the meeting ended with solidity.

From there I went to Peter Harvey's, and was thankful for the enjoyment of a peaceful quiet mind, though poor; next day was at Old Springfield meeting, which was slow and late in gathering, dull and heavy in sitting, as will be the case, wherever the life and power of religion are lacking, or not carefully sought after and waited for, by those who profess it, which was observed to them in the love of truth, and in the simplicity and plainness thereof. I left this meeting with a heavy heart, not from a sense of any omission of duty on my part; but lest they should too soon forget what manner of persons they saw themselves to be in the light, that discovers and answers the witness, as face answers face in a glass. Taking meetings at Mountholly, Rancocus, and visiting the widow of Peter Andrews, I was at a large meeting at Evesham on first-day following; but the expectations of the people being much outward, occasioned a painful deep waiting a considerable time, or at least I thought so. At length I felt some pressure on my mind to stand up, which as I followed carefully, Truth opened the state of the meeting to my admiration, and I was enabled with an innocent boldness, to attend thereto in speaking, which yielded me great peace after the meeting, and I was thankful for that opportunity.

Next day I attended Haddonfield monthly meeting, at which were Samuel Nottingham and William Home, whose company was comfortable and of advantage to the meeting. I then visited the meetings at Pilesgrove, Alloway's Creek, Greenwich, Lower Alloway's Creek, Salem, and one at Raccoon Creek, to which many sober people came, not professing with us; also a large, and I believe to some a satisfactory meeting at Woodbury, the state whereof opened pretty clearly, the humble being instructed; but I was sensible of an opposition to some part of what I had to deliver to a self-righteous state, yet through the mercy of our gracious Lord; I left this meeting with an evidence of peace, and an affectionate heart yearning towards them. Went to Haddonfield to attend the quarterly meeting for Gloucester and Salem counties, and from there to the general spring meeting at Philadelphia; after which I returned home, having been out five weeks and three days. After this journey I did not go much abroad for more than a year, except to attend our quarterly meeting, and the yearly and general spring meeting at Philadelphia.

In the year 1759, I had drawings in my mind to visit a few meetings in Maryland and Virginia, also the yearly meeting at West River; and having the concurrence of our monthly meeting, I left home on the 28th of the fifth month, and next day was at Gunpowder meeting; then at Elkridge, with a few Friends and persons not professing with us, amongst whom there was an openness to hear the testimony of truth declared; but for lack of a steady walking in the professors thereof, it seems in a great measure laid waste. That night I lodged at the house of a kind man; but natural affability in anyone, unless it is sweetened by the baptism of the Spirit of Truth, is of little value. On fifth-day I was at a new meeting house at Indian Spring, with a few Friends, some of whom I fear, scarcely know what they profess.

Next day had a meeting at Samuel Plummer's, at Patuxent, to satisfaction; and on seventh-day the yearly meeting at West River began, which held until fourth-day following, which was in the main the most open and satisfactory meeting I was ever at in that place. I thought a disposition prevailed among the younger sort, to attend to the discipline more closely than in times past. Taking a meeting at Sandy Spring, I proceeded to Fairfax, about forty miles, where I had a comfortable meeting on first-day, for which the hearts of many were made thankful to the Author of all good; the same day we had also a satisfactory opportunity in Mahlon Janney's family, and the next day attended Monaquasy meeting in Maryland, where truth is at a low ebb, through the conduct of some unfaithful professors.

Our next was a precious meeting with a few sincere Friends at Bush Creek; and I went to a meeting at Pipe Creek next day, which was pretty open and satisfactory; and to one the day following at Patapsco Forest, amongst a withered people. Alas! to profess the truth and not possess it in sanctification of spirit, makes meetings feel desolate. From there I returned home to our monthly meeting, being absent nineteen days, and rode near three hundred and fifty miles, Samuel England being my companion.

In this year I was engaged with my friend John Woolman, in visiting some active members of our Society, who held slaves, first in the city of Philadelphia, and other places; also in New Jersey; in which service we were enabled to go through some heavy labours, and were favoured with peace; Divine love in a tender sympathy prevailing at times, with a hope that these endeavours would not be in vain.

In the second month, 1760, I informed our monthly meeting, that in order to proceed in performing the appointment of the yearly meeting, having also a draft in my own mind, I had an inclination to visit some meetings up the river Delaware, particularly the monthly meeting of Kingwood, in New Jersey; and having the approbation of Friends, I set out from home on the 26th of the fifth month following, and reached the Bank meeting in Philadelphia the next day. From there proceeded to the quarterly meeting for Bucks county, held at Buckingham, where, though things were low, the affairs of the church were transacted in a good degree of amity and peace. It was a large meeting, there being a great appearance of young people, some very hopeful, who in the love of truth were exhorted to come up in their places, by learning discipline of the Author thereof, that is, the Spirit of Truth. They were cautioned against that very unbecoming and hurtful practice, which is too common, of going out after worship, and standing in companies talking, when they should keep their places in the meeting, which should quietly and solidly proceed on the business coming before it. Heavenly love was felt by the tender in spirit, which I hope will be remembered by many. The general or youths' meeting was large, open and satisfactory in the main; for which the name of the Lord was praised.

Next day I spent in visiting a widow, and other aged and infirm Friends; in the performance of which duty I had some satisfaction, and on first-day was at Plumstead meeting, which was large and very comfortable; the Divine presence being felt, the power of truth prevailed to the tendering of many; but such favour being not of him that wills or runs, but of God that shows mercy; to him belongs the praise of all, who is worthy forever. In the evening I attended a meeting at a school house, near Samuel Eastburn's, in which I had some service; the states of many present being very clearly opened before them in the love of the gospel, which made deep impression on some who were much broken, and I believe it would be as dew on their hearts, if they would remain enough in the valley of humility.

I was the next day at Buckingham monthly meeting, which in the time of business suffered much by the prevalence of a talkative noisy spirit, which darkens counsel in those who give way to it, and leads into doubtful and trifling disputations. I left that meeting with pain of heart, in a sense that the time had been so lost that several weighty matters could not be brought under consideration to advantage, which were therefore continued until the next month. Wrightstown monthly meeting on third-day was more satisfactory, the spirit for discipline rather reviving, and I hope a desire among the youth at least for an improvement. It too frequently is the case, that some of the elderly sort are so bigotted to their old forms and customs, that they will scarcely trouble themselves to examine whether these customs are agreeable to the testimony of truth, or whether through inattention they have not swerved and fallen short in various matters that now occasion difficulty in the churches, which difficulty must be laboured under for a season by the baptized members, who nevertheless, as they keep their places will grow stronger.

Accompanied by my friend Thomas Ross I attended the Falls monthly meeting, wherein I was comforted from a sense that a tender people were among them, though they felt a time of dearth, whom the Lord would in his own time water as his peculiar heritage. But this comfort was heavily ballasted by a secret fear attending me, that there were among them some, who like the heath in the desert, know not when good comes; who were easy in a dead form, and contented with a name, neglecting to wait for that transforming power, which would renew into the image and life of the Son of God; to whom in the love and plainness of the gospel, I was constrained to clear myself. The meeting for discipline was pretty open, and ended in a good degree of sweetness. We went home with the wife of Joseph White, who was then on a religious visit to Friends in Europe, and had a comfortable season in the family with the children, she appearing to be resigned in the absence of her husband, her spirit being sweetened with the truth, in innocent quietude.

At Middletown monthly meeting the next day truth seemed to be low, but we had some service in the discipline. I came away with peace, and the day following in company with Joshua Ely went to Jacob Birdshal's, in Amwell township, New Jersey, and had a meeting in his barn, which was small; there are few here who profess with us, some of whom seem to have nothing more than the name. Next morning we called at the house of an old professor, he and his wife were both full of talk; I felt a desire to visit them, and had a full time to clear myself in a close and plain manner, though in love to them. After which I attended two meetings at Kingwood on first-day, when truth favoured in opening the states of the people in mercy to many, which may be of advantage if rightly remembered; then proceeding to the Drowned-lands, so called, had a meeting with a few professors who seemed much withered; then taking another at Paulin's Kiln to pretty good satisfaction, returned to Kingwood monthly meeting, held at Hardwick. Several hopeful young people belong thereto; the meeting was comfortable, Friends rejoicing in the company one of another, and in the Lord for his merciful regard. Next day I returned to Bethlehem, and from there to Gwynnedd meeting on first-day; after which I rode to Uwchland, about twenty-eight miles, and from there home, where I found all well, having been absent three weeks, and rode about four hundred and sixteen miles in this journey.

Having a draft of love to visit the monthly and particular meetings within our own quarter, on the west side of Susquehanna River, with the concurrence of our monthly meeting, I set out from home on the 17th of the tenth month, in company with my brother-in-law, James Brown, who likewise had the approbation of Goshen monthly meeting for this purpose.

We visited the meetings at Pipe Creek, Bush Creek and Monaquasy, in Maryland; in the first of which the Lord was pleased to favour in opening the state of Friends, and tendering the hearts of many; the other was satisfactory, and the last seemed to be a renewed visitation to a declining people, several of whom were tendered through the gracious long-suffering of Infinite Goodness. We were next at the preparative meeting at Fairfax, in Virginia; then at Goose Creek, wherein truth owned our service to the comfort of the faithful; then attended the meeting of ministers and elders, the monthly meeting at Fairfax, and the first-day meeting there, and one that evening in Francis Hague's house. Several disorderly walkers being present, the Lord was pleased to open and give ability to speak to their states in a measure of his heart tendering love, reaching the witness in some. Returning to the widow Janney's, we had a precious opportunity with her and children, to our mutual satisfaction.

Our next meeting was at Potts', near the South mountain, which was open for doctrine, several of other religious professions attending, who appeared loving and well satisfied; then at Crooked-run, near the north branch of Shanandoah River, in company with several other Friends from Pennsylvania, some of us being a committee appointed by our quarterly meeting, in consequence of the Friends living here having requested that a meeting might be settled among them. The opportunity was to satisfaction, there being some young people who I hope will grow in the truth, though some of those who are elderly appear too superficial. From there we went to Hopewell preparative meeting, also to a small meeting over the mountain near Jesse Pugh's; then attended a select meeting at Hopewell, and one at the same place on first-day, which was large and solid, many therein being much tendered, to the praise of the Lord, whose mercy endures forever: in the evening we had a satisfactory meeting at the widow Lupton's, near Winchester.

Next day we were at Hopewell monthly meeting, where we found considerable weakness, as to the practice of the discipline, on which account we had some labour to the comfort of the well-minded. On our return we had meetings at Monallen, Huntington, Warrington, and Newberry, in York county, Pennsylvania, and a seasonable opportunity with Friends in Yorktown; from which I proceeded home with a thankful mind, having travelled about four hundred miles in this journey.

In the spring of the year 1761, having an engagement on my mind to visit Barbados and some of the adjacent islands, I proposed the same to my brethren at home for their weighty consideration, before I asked for their certificate, who after a time expressed their unity therewith, and gave me a certificate, to which the quarterly meeting signified their approbation.

At our next yearly meeting I laid my concern before the ministers and elders, when for anything that appeared, I had their unity and prayers. I came home intending to proceed before the winter set in, and attended our general meeting at Nottingham, in the tenth month; but in a few days after was taken ill with a fever, which with bodily pain and exercise of mind, reduced me to a very low and weak state. But the Lord was pleased to give me inward strength, influencing my mind with love to all men, and great love to the members of our religious Society, the state whereof I saw in a clear manner. I so far recovered as to attend our quarterly meeting at London-grove, in the eleventh month; at which I had an opportunity to clear myself to my humble admiration, and was inwardly comforted. My concern for going to Barbados continuing, I went to Philadelphia to inquire for a passage, when my friends informed me of five vessels, three of which were nearly ready to sail; but understanding that all of them were prepared with guns for defence, I felt a secret exercise on my mind, so that I could not go to see any of them. I kept quiet from sixth-day evening until second-day morning, when I went to the meeting of ministers and elders, where I had a freedom to let Friends know, “That I came to town in order to take my passage for Barbados, but found myself not at liberty to go in any of those vessels, because they carried arms for defence; for as my motive in going, was to publish ‘the glad tidings of the gospel, which teaches love to all men,’ I could not go with those who were prepared to destroy men, whom Christ Jesus, our Lord and Master laid down his life to save, and to deliver from that spirit in which wars and fightings stand.” I further added, “If I had a concern to visit in gospel love, those now living at Pittsburgh, or Fort Duquesne, do you think it would become me to go in company with a band of soldiers, as if I needed the arm of flesh to guard me; would it not be more becoming to go with a few simple unarmed men? I now tenderly desire your sympathy and advice.” One honest Friend said, “Keep to the tender scruple in your own mind, for it rejoices me to hear it;” and several said they believed it would be best for me to mind my own freedom. I then begged that Friends would consider weightily, whether it was right for any professing with us, to be owners, or part owners, charterers, freighters, or insurers of vessels that a Friend could not be free to go passenger in on a gospel message. As I returned to my lodgings, I felt so much peace of mind in thus bearing my testimony, that I thought if my concern ended therein, it was worth all my trouble, though at that time I did not think it would, yet was quite easy to return home and wait until my way appeared more open. As my concern went off in this manner, I have been since led to consider that I could not have borne that testimony so fully and feelingly, if I had not been thus restrained. “The wisdom and judgments of the Lord are unsearchable, and his ways past finding out, and happy are they who move at his command and stand steadfast in his counsel.”

Our worthy friends, John Stephenson, Robert Proud, Hannah Harris and Elizabeth Wilkinson, of Great Britain, being in this country on a religious visit, attended our yearly meeting in Philadelphia this year, which was large and favoured with humbling goodness, and in a sense of the Divine presence, ended very solidly. The services of these Friends, I think, have been great among us in this land, both in their public ministry and in the discipline of the church; and the remembrance thereof is precious I believe to many whom the Lord is preparing for his work.

After this I spent a considerable time at and near home, except attending the quarterly and yearly meetings, and the general spring meetings as they came in course; in the mean time being careful to frequent the meeting I belonged to. A new monthly meeting being established at Uwchland, in Chester county, it arose in my mind to salute Friends there with an epistle, a copy whereof I sent to their first meeting in the first month, 1763, being as follows:

Dear Friends,

In the gentle springing up of gospel love and fellowship, I salute you my dear brethren and sisters, and hereby let you know, that it is my fervent desire and prayer that you may individually attend to the gift of God in your own hearts, and therein wait for the arising of his pure life and power, that therein and thereby only, the affairs of the church may be transacted to the honour of Truth and your own peace and safety. To speak in the church to the business and affairs of truth, by the will, wisdom and power of man, however knowing he thinks himself, will lead into its own nature, and in the end minister strife and contention, and break the unity of the one spirit, wherein the peace of the church stands.

I beseech you to beware thereof, and as I know there are among you those whom the Lord by his Spirit and the gentle operation of his power, is preparing for his own work, mind your calling in deep humility and holy attention of soul; for in your obedience only, will you be elected and chosen to the work whereunto he has called you. So shall you be made skilful watchmen and watch-women, placed on the walls of Zion to discover the approach of an enemy, in whatsoever subtle appearance, and enabled to give warning thereof to others.

May each of you stand upright in your own lots in the regeneration, waiting for the pouring forth of the anointing of the Holy Spirit; by the renewing whereof, a true qualification is given in the love of the Father, rightly to oversee the flock and family of our God, amongst whom there are some plants with you worthy of your care.

I should have been glad to have sat with you, in your monthly meeting, from the sense of that love which I now renewedly feel to spring and flow towards you, but cannot well leave home; I therefore, at this time, in the pure refreshing stream thereof, again salute you, and remain your friend and brother,

John Churchman.

East Nollingham, First month 4th, 1763.

In the time of his illness in the year 1761, as before mentioned, he uttered many weighty expressions, some of which were committed to writing by a Friend who was present, and being worthy to be further preserved, are here inserted:

In this sickness he was reduced very low, and sometimes said it looked unlikely that he should recover; in the fore part thereof he often mentioned his being in great poverty of spirit, saying, that before he was taken ill, he felt such deep distress of mind, that he thought he was a cumber to the ground, and scarcely worthy to partake of the meanest necessaries of life, that even bread and water seemed too good for him.

On the 4th of the eleventh month, four Friends being present, he spoke in a very awful frame of mind, nearly as follows:

“Such build on a sandy foundation, who refuse paying that which is called the provincial, or king's tax, only because some others scruple paying it, whom they esteem; yet I have now clearly seen, as well as heretofore, that the testimony of truth, if deeply attended to, will not be found to unite with warlike measures. It will in the Lord's time be exalted above all opposition, and come to possess even the gates of its enemies; though it may appear mean and contemptible in the eyes of some now-a-days, as the conduct of our primitive Friends did, in various respects in the world's view. Whosoever continues to trample upon, or despise the tender scruples of their brethren in relation to their clearness concerning war, will certainly find it a weight too heavy for them to bear.

“My testimony on this account, so far as I have borne it, yields me satisfaction at this time; and the painful steps I have taken, both in public and private, to discharge my conscience in the sight of God, in giving faithful warnings to my brethren and countrymen, both in a civil and religious capacity, afford me comfort in this distressing season. I have clearly seen, and the prospect at this time adds Divine strength to my soul, that the God of truth is determined in due time to exalt the mountain of his holiness above all the hills of an empty profession; and all those who shall be admitted as inhabitants thereon, he wills to be clean handed; and that they should become subject to the Lamb's nature in every respect, and not shake hands with that nature which would tear and devour, nor in any shape contribute to the price of blood.”

At another time he said: “I have been led in the present dispensation to behold the situation of particular Friends, to whom I feel ardent affection, who seem to have given away, or sold for this world's friendship, the testimony they should have borne for the Prince of peace, who is the High Priest of our profession; and for fear of breaking an outside unity, which will surely come to be broken, that the true unity in the bond of peace may be exalted, have acted contrary to the former sight they had of their duty, and are thereby become halt and dim-sighted in several respects. These, though they still seem to desire it, cannot attain to the spotless beauty of Truth, nor approach the top of the mountain. I am afraid that some of them will never recover their former strength, nor attain to that dignity the Truth would have placed upon them, if they had been faithful; the situation of whom I have bewailed with anxiety of mind. I have been from my youth up, accustomed to sorrow, and am a man acquainted with grief, and now remarkably so; the lives of my brethren and of all men, appear exceedingly precious in my sight. It looks doubtful whether I shall ever see my friends in a quarterly meeting again, yet if it be the will of Divine Providence, I much desire it; having heretofore, through a timorous disposition, lest I should offend some, and for fear of the frowns of elder brethren, concealed some things which I should have declared. If I should never more have a public opportunity, I speak thus in your hearing, to let it be known that I am still a well-wisher to all men, and that my integrity to the testimony of truth, against all connection with wars and fighting, is now as strong, or stronger than ever.”

On second-day morning, the 9th of the eleventh month, he said to this effect: “I have been led to see the necessity there is for Friends to beware of the custom of drinking drams, or strong spirits mixed. It is my judgment, that the less any of us accustom ourselves to the use of those spirits, the better it would be for our constitutions in general. I believe it is not consistent with the will of Divine Providence, that the course of nature should be obstructed and changed, and our animal spirits corrupted through the unnatural warmth of spirituous liquors.

“From my present sense and feeling of that temperance which is truly pleasing in the eye of heaven, I have mourned that the use of strong drink should become so prevalent amongst us who make so high a profession; whose bodies should be temples of the Holy Spirit, and should not be defiled, or tainted with any degree of intemperance. In harvest there is generally plenty of refreshment, which would keep the bodies of men strong and capable to perform hard labour. Witness the health and strength of our forefathers in the first settlement of this country, when strong liquors were very little used amongst them.

“Alas! how dimness has overtaken us, when we compare ourselves and our practices, with the temperance and moderation of our forefathers and the early settlers of this province! How sumptuous now are the tables, how rich and costly the apparel, the diet and the furniture, of many Friends even in the country; but more especially in the city! How is the simplicity and plainness of truth departed from, and pomp and splendid appearances have taken their place! And how much cost and time might be spared from needless things, and applied to bettering our country and helping to turn away the judgment which hangs over us, in part occasioned by these things.

“I desire that my grand-children may be brought up in a plain simple way, accustomed to industry and some useful business; not aiming at great estates, nor following others in that way. Give them useful learning, and rather choose husbandry, or some plain calling for them in the country, than endeavour to promote them to ways of merchandise; for according to my observation from my youth up, the former is less dangerous and less corrupting. I observed when I was in England, that some of the greatest and wisest men in a religious sense, were brought up at the plough, or in some laborious occupation; where the mind is less liable to be diverted from an awful sense of the Creator, than in an easy idle education. How many great men there are, whose way of living is mean and homely, in this world's account, so that they have little more than real necessity requires; and yet they are rich in the best sense.”

The next day being asked how he was, he said nearly as follows; “I have slept sweetly and seem much refreshed, and though I feel myself very weak in body, I am full of Divine consolation, having never before had such prospects of heavenly things. It seems even as though my soul was united in chorus with glorified saints and angels, both sleeping and waking. I now believe I shall recover, and that this sickness did not happen to me altogether on my own account. My only way to recover is to be industrious and diligent in what I believe is required of me; I have many messages to deliver, both in public and privately to Friends, who I see have missed their way, and have in a great measure deprived themselves of the beauty with which a humble abiding in the truth would have dignified them; and to some of my elder brethren, for whom I feel an uncommon nearness of affection, their lives never appeared to be more near to me, and I dare not conceal counsel from them, whether they will hear or forbear. I thought last night, I had a clear prospect of the situations of many within the verge of our quarterly meeting; it seemed as though the inward states of particulars were opened to me in full view; the pure life in the brightness of religion, never appeared to be more precious. An uncommon earnestness attends my mind, for the recovery of the rebellious, hypocritical, and backsliding professors of all ranks amongst us. If I get to our quarterly meeting, which I believe I shall, and can have time allowed me when there, I have tidings, important tidings, as from a dying man, to many. I have seen the mystery of the prophet laying three days and three nights in the belly of the fish. A wicked and adulterous generation are now, as formerly, seeking for a sign to things spoken closely, but no sign shall be given them, save the sign of the prophet Jonah. Our Saviour's sufferings for mankind, and afterwards descending into the bowels of the earth, prefigured that his followers must, after his pattern, descend into spiritual baptism; that they may rise again, freed from the dregs of nature and from the corruptions of the creaturely passions, before they can be qualified to see and suitably to administer to the states of others. I have likewise seen the mystery of Ezekiel's sufferings, and bearing the sins of the house of Israel for the space of three hundred and ninety days, which being accomplished, he was commanded to turn on the other side, and to bear the sins of Judah forty days, for the corruptions of that princely tribe, who should have been as way-marks to others. My state has been for several years past, my deep baptisms and painful sitting in our meetings, like bearing the rod of the wicked; in which dispensation I have been sometimes ready to conclude with Elijah, that the altars were thrown down and the Lord's prophets slain, and I, a mean worthless servant, left alone, and that my life was sought also. I have now seen the use of those dispensations to me, with the use of my late sickness, whereby I am reduced to great weakness of body; that I might be as a sign to this generation, and as with the mouth of a dying man, utter tidings without fear of giving offence; tidings which I have heretofore concealed, through a timorous disposition.

“I have seen at this season that the Lord has preserved a living number in Israel, who have not bowed the knee to Baal, or the god of this world. I have also seen the condition of many who have worshipped strange gods; and the corruption even of some who have assumed the station of ministers in our Society, how they are deceived so far as to believe a lie; have seen lying visions, and have caused the weak to stumble. They have been speaking peace to the people in the Lord's name, when it was only a flash, or divination of their own brain, which has tended to corruption and putrefaction in the churches. I have seen that many little ones have laid groaning as under the burden and oppression of these things, whose day of redemption draws near, when they shall be made by the Almighty, as bright stars in the firmament of his power; and those who are corrupt and settled on their lees, shall be punished. In this dispensation I have abundantly witnessed the incomes of that peace and love which pass all understanding; neither my tongue nor capacity is able to set forth the bowels of compassion which I livingly feel to flow towards the whole bulk of mankind; and especially to my brethren in profession. It seems as though no affliction would be too great to endure for their sakes, if it might be a means to have some of them, whose situation I have now been led to behold as particulars, restored to their former greenness and spiritual health, from which they have fallen, and dimness has overtaken them. And though my outward man seems almost wasted, my spirit is strong in the Lord, and in the inexpressible strength of affection, I have found my spirit led from place to place over the country, to visit the souls in prison: Yes, I have beheld the dawning of that precious morning, wherein corruption shall be swept away from the church, and righteousness and truth begin to flourish greatly. The day seems to me to be at hand; and what if I say, I have a degree of faith that some of the children now born may live to see it. Through innocent boldness, my face seems to be as brass, and in the openings of the vision of life, I think I could utter gospel truths, and discover the mystery of iniquity, which I have seen, without fearing any mortal. I may be raised to live a while longer, though to die now, would be a welcome release to me. Yes, I could not desire to live, but for the longings of soul, and pantings which I feel towards the precious seed in many, whom I have now been led in spirit to visit. I have beheld their situation to be as lumps, taken out from the bowels of their mother, the earth, though much hidden from the view of mortals; and are tempering and fashioning by the Divine Potter, in different shapes, for various uses; and I have seen that the Potter's power is sufficient to pick out, and take away every little pebble of nature. Many I have beheld in this situation, set by, as it were, out of sight to dry, until all the dampness and natural moisture is removed from them, not being yet fitted to undergo the operation of burning; but when properly prepared and thoroughly dried, many will be brought to the fire, burned and glazed, so that they may retain the liquor or wine of the kingdom, with a sweet taste, without any degree of taint or nauseous smell.”

On the 12th of the eleventh month, early in the morning, he spoke to this purpose; “I believe I must endeavour to go to our quarterly meeting,” which began on the 14th, “although as to bodily strength I am very weak: there my mind is remarkably, sleeping and waking; there I hope to be relieved of some things which seem to remain like a fire in my bones. I dare not forbear, I know it is the way to recover my strength outwardly, and to be eased of that which is a heavy burden inwardly. I see I must go, and believe I shall recruit, and gain strength every day;” which was the case accordingly. He further said, “My mind has for several days been attended with an uncommon sweetness, the like I never knew for so long together, with a succession of soul-melting prospects. I have freedom to relate what I had a sight of this morning before day, as I lay in a sweet slumber;” which was nearly in these words: “I thought I saw Noah's ark floating on the deluge, or flood, with Noah and his family in it; and looking earnestly at it, I beheld the window of the ark, and saw Noah put out the dove; and I beheld her flying to and fro, for some time; but finding no rest for the sole of her foot; I thought she returned, and I saw Noah's hand put forth to take her in again. After some time I thought I beheld her put forth a second time, and a raven with her; the dove fled as before for some time, and then I saw her return with a green olive leaf in her mouth, as a welcome token of the flood's being abated. I thought I saw also the raven fly to and fro, but he did not return; and it came into my mind, this is a ravenous bird, and seeks only for prey to satisfy his own stomach, otherwise he might have returned to the ark with good tidings, or some pleasant token, as well as the dove. After a short space, I thought I beheld the mountain tops, and some of the tree tops, beginning to appear above the waters, and I could perceive the flood abate very fast. As the waters fell away, I saw the trees began to bud and the greenness of new leaves came upon them, and I heard the voice of the turtle and saw many symptoms of a pleasant and happy season approaching, more than I can now relate; and the prospect thereof ravished my soul. I beheld the trees blossoming, the fragrant valleys adorned with grass, herbs and pretty flowers, and the pleasant streams gushing down towards the ocean; indeed, all nature appeared to have a new dress; the birds were hopping on the boughs of the trees, and chirping; each in their own notes, warbled forth the praise of their Creator. And while I beheld these things, a saying of the prophet was brought fresh in my memory, and applicable as I thought to the view before me: ‘The mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands; instead of the thorn, shall come up the fir-tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle-tree; and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

“When I awoke, the prospect remained clear in my mind, and had a sweet relish, which now continues with me; and the application of the vision seems to me in this manner: The flood which appeared to cover the face of the earth, is the corruption and darkness which is so prevalent over the hearts of mankind; the ark represents a place of safe, though solitary, refuge, wherein the Almighty preserves his humble attentive people, who, like Noah, are aiming at perfection in their generation. The dove sets forth the innocent, harmless, and loving disposition, which attends the followers of the Lamb who are always willing to bring good tidings, when such are to be had: the raven represents a contrary disposition, which reigns in the hearts of the children of disobedience, who chiefly aim at gratifying their own sensual appetites; the waters gradually abating, the trees appearing, and afterwards budding, the voice of the turtle, and the pleasant notes of the birds, all seem clear to me, to presage the approach of that glorious morning, wherein corruption and iniquity shall begin to abate, and be swept away; and then every thing shall appear to have a new dress. I am fully confirmed in the belief, that that season will approach, which was foretold by the prophet, wherein the glory of the Lord shall cover the earth, as the waters cover the sea; and in a sense of these things my soul is overcome. I feel the loving kindness of the Lord Almighty, yet waiting for the return of backsliders with unspeakable mercy; and my soul in a sense of it, seems bound more strongly than ever, in the bonds of gospel travail; which travail I hope will increase and spread amongst the faithful, for the enlargement of the church; that the nations may flock unto Zion; which shall become an eternal excellency, even the joy of the whole earth.”

He again expressed his having a prospect of the dawn of this blessed morning; and said, “The day-star is risen, which presages the approach of the morning; I have seen it in its lustre, and have a lively sense of that saying being again fulfilled in the new creation, ‘The morning stars sang together, and the sons of God shouted for joy.’ I have heard their sound intelligibly, and my heart is comforted therein. The potsherds of the earth may clash together for a season, but the Lord in due time will bring about the reformation. The predictions of Archbishop Usher, mentioned in the preface to Sewel's History, have come fresh into my memory, and nearly correspond with the sense I have, that a sharp and trying dispensation is to come upon the professors of Christianity; wherein the honest and upright hearted shall be hid as under the hollow of the Lord's hand; when rents, divisions and commotions shall increase amongst the earthly-minded, and one branch of a family be at strife with another, like the daughter-in-law against the mother-in-law; and happy will it be for those who endeavour to stand ready for the approach of such a dispensation.”

Chapter VII.

His visit to the quarterly meeting at Salem and the general meetings at Uwchland and Goshen, in 1764—His attendance of the yearly meeting in Philadelphia, 1767, and the general meeting at Cecil in Maryland—The death of his wife. His visit in Chester and Bucks counties—To the yearly meeting in Maryland—Also to several meetings in New Jersey, and some others in York county, Pennsylvania—Also to Fairfax, etc, in Virginia.

In the spring of the year 1764, I informed my friends that I had a desire to attend the quarterly meeting at Salem, in New Jersey, and having their concurrence, on the 17th of the fifth month I left home and went to Wilmington, and next day in company with several Friends, from there by water to our friend Joshua Thompson's, at the mouth of Salem Creek. At the meeting of ministers and elders we were comforted together through the goodness of the Lord. On first-day there was a large gathering of a mixed multitude, and quiet, the Divine power being felt and gospel truths preached, by the influence whereof, many hearts were tendered; though I thought the beauty and solemnity of the meeting were a little marred by one Friend speaking too long; to begin in the life and conclude in the power and life, is becoming a minister of the gospel.

On second-day morning the meeting of ministers and elders was again held, it was a precious instructive season in the love of Christ our holy Head, by which the humble were united; afterwards we had a large meeting for public worship, wherein the testimony of truth flowed freely; the call to the ministry and qualification necessary to preach the gospel being clearly set forth. In humble admiration I could renewedly acknowledge, You are Oh Lord, strength in our weakness, mouth and wisdom, yes all things to your humble depending servants whose trust is on you, waiting for your putting forth in the way, and gently going before them; blessed be your holy name forever. In transacting the affairs of the discipline, a spirit of brotherly love prevailed. The youths' meeting at Pilesgrove was also large and edifying, the great Shepherd of Israel being pleased to stretch forth the crook of his love, for gathering the straying youth from pursuing after lying vanities and worldly pleasures; ministering reproof to hypocrites and formal professors, yet comforting his children and humble dependent followers, to the praise of his own eternal name. The meeting of ministers and elders sat again by adjournment, when we had a uniting parting season; I returned to my friend Joshua Thompson's, next day to a meeting at Wilmington, and in the evening home, being thankful that I had been enabled to perform this small journey.

Having a strong desire to attend the general meetings at Goshen and Uwchland, on the 8th of the sixth month, my dear wife and I left; home, though I was very unwell with a cold taken in my return from Salem, and a fever attending me every day. We attended Uwchland meeting on first-day, also one in the evening at the house of our brother Daniel Brown, which was dull and exercising, from a sense of the prevalence of a spirit which leads many into forgetfulness of God, pursuing the vanities and pleasures of this perishing world. Next day the general meeting at Goshen was very large, and much disturbed by the going out and coming in of many; but through Divine goodness it came to a better settlement before it concluded, when solid Friends in the renewing of the Lord's comforting love, were refreshed in him and one another; a visitation being continued to the youth, the praise whereof belongs to the great Author of all good!

The general meeting at Uwchland on the day following was large, and measurably attended with the ownings of truth, under the influence of which, admonition and counsel flowed freely to the youth, the Divine witness in several of whom was reached, and the name of the Lord praised, who is forever worthy!

In these large meetings, as on all other such occasions, it is necessary in order for a proper qualification to minister to the people, humbly to wait to know the inward life and baptizing virtue of the Spirit and power of Jesus Christ, our all in all, without whose help we can never do his work to his praise, but instead of gathering the flock, we shall minister to their scattering from the true place of feeding. After being at the preparative meeting at East Cain and a meeting at Uwchland, we returned home thankful to the Lord, who had mercifully supported us in this small journey; both of us being weakly and indisposed in health.

In the ninth month, 1767, I attended our yearly meeting in Philadelphia, which held a week; all the sittings whereof both for worship and discipline, were through the overshadowing of Divine favour, instructive to the humble waiters; and the testimony of truth, particularly against the unjust and unrighteous practice of slave-keeping, greatly prevailed. Friends were fully cautioned against bequeathing by will, as slaves to their posterity, the poor Negroes, their fellow-creatures; it being an unlawful act in the sight of the great and righteous Parent of all mankind. This meeting concluded with a degree of awe and reverence, under the sweetening influence of the Father's love. I returned home to our general meeting at Nottingham, which was held on the 4th and 5th days of the tenth month.

Having a strong desire to attend the general meeting at Cecil, in Maryland, I sat out in company with several other Friends, and reached the first sitting of the meeting, which was small and dull; the public meeting next day was very large and attended with some satisfaction; those of other societies who were there were mostly pretty quiet. At the meeting of ministers and elders, the lack of solid elders being evident, the consideration thereof was proposed to the quarterly meeting, which was held in the afternoon of the same day, when it was recommended to the monthly meetings to observe the directions of the yearly meeting, to choose well qualified solid Friends, for that weighty station.

The meeting for public worship was again large, being attended by many of other societies, and my brother, William Brown, was largely opened in doctrine to the edification of the auditory; after which I had a short testimony tending to close the foregoing. In the meeting for discipline I had occasion to lament that there were too few who feelingly understood the weight of such meetings, or were clean handed to move therein, either to their own profit or the help of their brethren; yet there are a few who seem to be under a preparation for the work, and I hope will grow in their gifts. On third-day morning business began again, and ended as well as I expected. I thought the Lord was mercifully pleased to open considerable instruction to such among them, who had ears to hear and hearts disposed to receive it. The meeting for worship held that afternoon, was not so large as on the other two days; the service thereof lay weightily on me, and I had a full opportunity to relieve my mind towards the people, in opening to them the nature and ground of spiritual worship and true prayer, also the true call and qualification for gospel ministry, declaring what it was to live off the gospel, in opposition to a forced maintenance. Truth favoured and the people were solid, several being much reached; the meeting ending to satisfaction, with humble thanksgiving in many hearts to the Lord, whose mercies through Christ Jesus, are to his people yes and amen forever.

—————

His wife being under many years' affliction with a cancer on her head, which was now so greatly increased as to require his daily affectionate attendance, confined him mostly at home until after her decease, which was in the seventh month, 1770. She was a steady exemplary Friend; concerning whom the monthly meeting of Nottingham, gives the following testimony:

“Our friend, Margaret Churchman, was born of believing parents, William and Esther Brown, who lived at Chichester, in the county of Chester, in Pennsylvania; on the 13th of the first month, 1706-7, her father removing with his family into Maryland, near Susquehanna, died before she was ten years old. In the twenty-third year of her age, she entered into the marriage state with John Churchman, of Nottingham, and being religiously inclined from her childhood, became a diligent seeker after that bread which nourishes the inward man, and thereby grew in religion. About the thirty-fourth year of her age, it pleased the Lord to put her forth in the ministry, in which she was frequently exercised to the comfort and edification of the churches where she visited, in this and the Southern provinces, being delivered in a degree of life and gospel sweetness in pertinent expressions. She was an example in plainness, a diligent attender of meetings, and a humble waiter therein; serviceable in meetings of business, having a good sense of discipline, with a becoming zeal to support the testimony of truth in its various branches, and useful in the weighty service of visiting families.

“In the latter part of her life she was for many years afflicted with a cancer on her head, which she bore with remarkable patience, resignation and innocent cheerfulness, attending meetings to the admiration of many who knew her disease. Notwithstanding various applications, her malady so increased that she became too weak to attend meetings sometime before her decease, yet she retained her love to truth and Friends to the last, and in the sixty-fourth year of her age, being a minister about thirty years, departed this life, on the 28th of the seventh month, 1770, and was buried on the 30th in Friends' burying ground, at East Nottingham, attended by many Friends and neighbours, at which time we had a solid satisfactory meeting.

“Given forth by our monthly meeting held at East Nottingham, the 27th of the seventh month, 1771, and signed on behalf thereof, by,

“Samuel England, Rebecca Trimble, Clerks.”

Having an inclination to attend Chester quarterly meeting, also some meetings within the verge thereof, with the concurrence of Friends I sat out on the 1st of the second month, 1771. Attended New Garden monthly meeting next day, in which the love of our merciful Father was measurably felt, to the comfort of the humble in heart, and on first-day was at Birmingham; next day had a meeting in the house of Richard Downing, at Milltown, with people of various sorts, and the Lord was pleased to assist with wisdom and ability, in measure, to divide his word in reproof, counsel, admonition and caution, to the praise of his own name. On third-day at Pikeland was a pretty full meeting, though a very cold day, Truth was felt to be near us; a profitable opportunity was had also in the family of the widow Meredith, who being weakly, did not get out to their meeting.

Next day had a cold ride to Nantmell, where was a large full meeting, and I believe beneficial to many present, by the tendering goodness of the blessed Shepherd of spiritual Israel, the crook of whose heavenly love is still stretched forth to his sheep, who are not yet acquainted with the true fold of rest and safe feeding place; his own works praise him.

Uwchland monthly meeting on the day following was a laborious season, yet through Divine favour made comfortable to the weary travellers, who had to rejoice together in a participation of the consolation of Israel, and therein to worship His name who is worthy forever. Goshen monthly meeting was also laborious; when former experience is fed upon, or the love or honour of the world and fleshly ease takes place, a spirit grows up in the church, which cannot judge for God and his truth; for the judgment is his, in whose fear his children are made to rejoice, when his presence is known, and his humbling goodness manifested to his people. On first-day I was at Middletown meeting, in which there seemed to be a tender visitation and call to the youth, to acquaint themselves with the God of their fathers, his love being measurably witnessed among us. The quarterly meeting for Chester, held at Concord, was solid and edifying, through the extending of the heavenly Father's love to the children of his family. From there I went to Wilmington, visited some of my acquaintances, and had a comfortable sitting in the family of David Ferris, his son Benjamin being ill in a consumption. I also attended the monthly meeting, which though a searching time, was I believe to the comfort and edification of many, the uniting love of Truth being experienced to rest on Friends in the time of the business; after which I went to the monthly meetings at Center and Bradford, and from there to our quarterly meeting at London-grove. Then returned home, having great peace in performing this journey, and in being favoured with ability, felt a degree of reverent thankfulness to the Lord, who is all things to his servants, who truly abide in nothingness of self; he is worthy of all obedience and honour forever.

On the 21st of the third month, I left my habitation in order to attend our general spring meeting at Philadelphia; in my way called at Wilmington, and was at the burial of Benjamin Ferris, before mentioned. Our spring meeting was to me very comfortable in a sense of the living presence of the holy Head of the church, in which his true children were edified, strengthened and mutually comforted one in another; blessed be his name forever!

At this meeting, the brethren, both ministers and elders, apprehend it their duty in the love of Christ, to appoint such who are willing to give up their names to attend the several large or general meetings, which come in course in the ensuing summer before our yearly meeting, to which they are expected to give some account of the meetings so attended by them, and feeling a draft in my mind to be at that at Duck Creek, I gave in my name to attend it.

On my return from Philadelphia I sat with Friends at their week-day meeting in Wilmington; which through the continued goodness of the Lord, was in some measure a profitable season, I hope to many. Here I felt a strong desire to see the Friends together, who are owners of the grist-mills lately built at and near Brandywine; and upon notice thereof, they met the same afternoon at the house of Daniel Byrnes, when I had an opportunity to discharge my mind in an affectionate manner, of what had impressed it towards them, which they appeared to receive in a degree of the same love; and as I believe it came from the Author of all good, who is alone worthy of praise, a blessing may attend that opportunity if rightly remembered.

On the 26th of the fourth month, being accompanied by a Friend and neighbour, I went to Duck Creek, and was at the monthly meeting there the next day, which was heavy, occasioned by the prevalence of a formal, lukewarm, worldly spirit, over many of the professors belonging thereto, but through the long-suffering and continued mercy of God, there seemed to be a renewed awakening visitation to some. The meeting on first-day was very large, the Lord being mercifully pleased to open the states of many in a particular manner; and in a measure of his holy heart tendering power, which reached the witness, several were humbled, and the meeting ended with thanksgiving, prayer and praises to the Lord who is worthy forever.

On second-day the meeting was not so large, occasioned by a fair being near; nevertheless it was a season in which the doctrine and mysteries of the kingdom of Christ were largely set forth to the people, by the influence of the spirit, and in the love and wisdom of the holy High Priest, who is all in all to his people.

We had also three select opportunities with the ministers and elders, among whom there was great apparent weakness; the reasons whereof were plainly made known to them, from the sense given in the love and fear of Him, who will not own and unite with such as are defiled; which plainness we had a hope would be profitable.

Next day several of us were at George's Creek, which meeting is much declined. Where the love of the world and its alluring vanities prevail on the professors of truth, their affections are drawn from God, they grow slack in attending meetings, and are a bad example one to another. It was a hard meeting, but through the love of Christ, a measure of gospel anointing enabled to open to them their states in great love and plainness, which seemed to affect some; may it be remembered with reverence before Him who is the Author of all good, and worthy of all praise forever!

Soon after my return home, feeling my mind engaged to attend the quarterly meeting in Bucks county, with a few meetings in Philadelphia quarter, I set out on the 26th of the fifth month, accompanied by Samuel England, and on the third-day of the week following, was at the Bank meeting in Philadelphia, which was comfortable. On fifth-day at the quarterly meeting at Buckingham, and next day the general youths' meeting, which was large and divinely favoured. Then visiting several indisposed Friends, on first-day I attended Plumstead meeting; and in that week the several monthly meetings of Buckingham, Wrightstown, the Falls and Middletown, also a public meeting at Makefield; was on first-day at Bristol, from which I went with my friend James Thornton, to their afternoon meeting at Byberry, had an appointed one at the same place next day; and in that week visited the several neighbouring meetings, one of which was a general youths' meeting at Horsham, large and instructive, wherein the love of our heavenly Father was felt by his truly depending children. Then taking meetings at Gwynedd, Providence, Richland, Oley, Exeter, Maiden Creek, Reading, and on first-day at the Forest; I rode from there to Uwchland, and on second-day had a meeting at Milltown, in the house of Robert Valentine. Then proceeded home, having rode about three hundred and seventy miles in this journey, in which I was favoured with health, and held travelling beyond my expectation. At the gentle drawings of Truth I left my habitation, having little prospect of much before me, but was preserved in a quiet resignation to the Divine will to do whatsoever should appear my duty, beseeching the Lord to enable me to watch against every appearance of self in the great and pure work of declaring the gospel to the people, and have great cause to be humbly thankful, that the Lord was pleased to own my service beyond expectation, to the exaltation of his own truth; blessed be his name forever!

In the tenth month following, I went to the yearly meeting at Third-haven, in Maryland; the meetings for worship held three days, and each of them were very large, and many gospel truths were delivered in the love and power thereof, by which the witness of God was reached in the hearts of many of the people, and Friends comforted and made thankful to the Lord, that he was pleased to own us with the overshadowing of his heavenly love. On fourth-day morning the affairs of the discipline were finished, when we had a parting meeting, which through Divine favour was a precious time to many. I had never been at the yearly meeting when held at this place before, and now witnessed my heart enlarged in the love of the gospel, to declare the truth among the multitude of people who professed the Christian name, and to remind them of their conduct and dress, how different it was from that of those who formerly suffered martyrdom for their religion, as professed by the members of the church of England, so called, who own the reformers as their predecessors.

Feeling a draft of love in my mind towards some meetings in New Jersey, particularly at Egg Harbour, and having the concurrence of my friends at home, I set out on second-day the 1st of the sixth month, 1772, and taking in my way a meeting at Haddonfield, and another at the house of my friend, Thomas Evans, which through the presence and power of the Searcher of hearts, was made profitable to some present; reached Little Egg Harbour on seventh-day. Next day attended the yearly meeting, in which the love of the gospel was felt to flow towards a loose, raw, uncivilized people, who appeared to attend there more out of curiosity, than from a reverent thoughtfulness of worshipping Almighty God. In the afternoon of the same day the continuance of Divine favour was remarkably evident towards the inhabitants, for which the Lord made the hearts of his sensible children thankful to himself, who is the Author of all good. The meeting on second-day was also very large, in which the true children of the family were comforted in Christ Jesus the Lord and holy Head of the church, by the anointing virtue of whose precious name and power, they were made to rejoice in the company one of another. Parting with many valuable beloved Friends, I went over the bay, to the upper meeting on Great Egg Harbour shore, which was large, considering the notice. I was comforted in knowing for whose name sake I was made willing to leave my company, and turn that way, the Lord being pleased to own my service by the inspiration of a degree of his heavenly wisdom and love, to speak to the states of those present; blessed be His name who is worthy forever.

I went home with my friend Joseph Mapes; next day attended the lower meeting, which through Divine favour was a precious season; then passed over to the cape, and next morning was at a meeting at the upper house, where many not of our Society attended, to whom the doctrine of the gospel flowed, in describing the nature of pure and undefiled religion, and wherein it consisted; the people were still and quiet. In the afternoon of the same day I had a meeting at the lower house, which is eight miles down the cape; this was a heart tendering time, for which Friends were made truly thankful; I thought it seemed like to be my last visit to these parts. From there I went to Cohansey, forty-five miles, to Mark Reeve's, where I rested the next day, being very weary and almost overcome with hard travelling. On first-day I was at Greenwich meeting, and in the afternoon at Alloway's Creek, which was very large, many of other societies attending; the doctrine of truth flowed to them in a measure of the love thereof. Next day the meeting at Salem was held in the court house, the meeting house being taken down, and a new one being built. On third-day I was at the upper meeting near Alloway's Creek; which through Divine Goodness was an instructive time to some seekers. The passage treated upon was our Lord's description of the pharisee and publican, who went up to the temple to pray; the great difference in the form of their addresses was opened in a clear manner, by the spirit of Him who gave forth that parable, to my humble admiration, which was cause of reverent thankfulness; they who were sensible being encouraged, and the conceited formalists rebuked.

From there I went to John Davis', had a comfortable opportunity with some indisposed Friends in his family; then taking meetings at Pilesgrove, Upper Greenwich and Woodbury, was on first-day morning at Haddonfield, and in the afternoon at Newtown, which last was laborious, though I believe being blessed to several present, was thereby made profitable. That evening I went over to Philadelphia weary in body, but cheerful in mind, being sensible of a degree of thankfulness for the continued favour of my Lord and Master, who had been to me a quiet habitation and secret support in this journey. After staying two days, and on each attending meetings in the city, I took Wilmington meeting in my way home, having travelled about three hundred and fifty miles, attended about twenty meetings, besides having several comfortable opportunities in families.

Being under an appointment with other Friends of our quarterly meeting, to visit Friends of the monthly meetings of Warrington and Fairfax, I set out on the 7th of the tenth month, and taking a meeting with Friends in Yorktown, we were at Warrington on first-day; then visited the several meetings of Newberry, Huntington and Monallen, in which Truth owned our service in a good degree; our labour of love appearing to be kindly received, I hope may be useful.

On first-day following five of us were at Pipe Creek meeting; then at Bush Creek, Monaquesy, Fairfax, Goose Creek and Southfork, wherein the Lord was pleased, in his customary goodness and mercy, to magnify his own name, who is worthy of all praise forever. After a seasonable opportunity with Friends held in the house of Abel Janny at parting with them, we returned to Fairfax meeting on first-day, where under the influence of the Divine presence, the testimony and doctrine of truth flowed freely to the people; in a humble sense whereof, praises ascended to His holy name who is over all worthy forever.

Several of our company now returning homewards, three of us not being easy yet to return, two of us went to visit a Friend who lay in a languishing condition, which I believe was serviceable, the love of our heavenly Father being in some degree felt among us.

On third-day we had a meeting at the Gap, so called, among a raw people, where Divine Goodness measurably favoured the opportunity; on the day following we attended Fairfax preparative meeting; the two next days we visited some sick Friends, and on seventh-day were at the monthly meeting, which was in the main satisfactory. On first-day the meeting was thought to be the largest ever held at this place, and the gospel being preached in the love of it, tendering the hearts of many, the meeting ended in humble thanksgiving to the holy Author of all good.

Next day in company with several Friends of Fairfax, I attended a meeting at Monaquesy, where some came who did not make religious profession with us, which was an instructive tendering season, through the Lord's goodness.

After a meeting at Bush Creek, and another at Pipe Creek, I travelled to Gunpowder, and attended the quarterly meeting for the Western shore of Maryland, likewise the general meeting for worship on first-day, at which were several not of our Society, whose hearts were reached by the love of Truth. Next day I had a meeting at the Little Falls, and from there returned home, and after staying three days, I went to our quarterly meeting at London-grove, the two last days of which afforded some comfort and satisfaction. On the 14th of the twelfth month I went to Wilmington, on which day Margaret, the wife of John Perry, was buried, after a short illness. I spent part of the evening in his afflicted family to satisfaction; staying in the town two days, I attended their monthly meeting, and thought there was a lack of more members deeply baptized for the work, which appears necessary in the church at that place. Deborah, the daughter of David Ferris, being in a declining consumptive state, and wasting fast, I visited her to my satisfaction, she appearing to be in a resigned humble frame of spirit, was an exemplary young woman whom I esteemed. Then going to Center and Hockesson meetings, I was at New Garden on first-day, which I thought through Divine favour, an instructive profitable meeting to myself, and perhaps to some others; the subject which opened was the necessity of not leaning to, nor following, any man, but of attending to the pure motion and secret influence of the Spirit of Truth manifested in the heart, in the meekness and purity of the wisdom from above. It was by this the churches were gathered, and the members preserved in the unity of the one blessed Spirit, and perfect bond of peace and good order.

I next attended our preparative and monthly meetings, after which was confined mostly at home for about a month by a fever, during which time my mind was often much humbled under a sense of the prevalence of a dull, lukewarm spirit, as to the life and power of truth; earthly mindedness and the cares and cumbers concerning the things of this present life having drawn the minds of many into death. I never more clearly saw the necessity there was for us who profess the truth, singly to attend to the gentle instructions of the holy Spirit, who only does, and ever will, lead and guide into all truth, and preserves from those errors and failings which are so abundantly evident among us, whereby our hands are weakened in respect to a careful exercise of the discipline of the church.

Chapter VIII.

His attendance of the western quarterly meeting in the second month, 1773—The spring meeting in Philadelphia, and the general meeting at Duck Creek—The quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury—With several other meetings in New Jersey—The spring meeting in Philadelphia, in 1774—His last visit to New York and Long island—His last attendance of the yearly meeting in Philadelphia—His being at the spring meeting there in 1775, and his last journey to meetings on the Eastern shore of Maryland—His last illness with some weighty expressions in that time—His death and burial.

Being somewhat recovered of my indisposition, I sat in our select meeting of ministers and elders on the 1st of the second month, 1773, in which I was comforted under a sense of our being owned in some degree by the visitation of Divine love; and afterwards attended our quarterly meeting at London-grove, each sitting whereof was favoured with the continuance of heavenly help, to the encouragement of the humble waiters. I returned home with thankfulness to the Lord, who had furnished me with strength in my weak state to sit with my friends, in which we ought to be good examples. I attended our own meeting on the fifth and first-days following, in the same week went to Wilmington, to the burial of Deborah Ferris, before mentioned; after which a solid and profitable meeting was held.

On the 26th of the third month I set out from home in order to attend our general spring meeting at Philadelphia, but did not get there in time for the first sitting ; such of them as I did attend, I thought were in the main, times of Divine favour. On my return homeward I was at a small meeting at Chester, also the general meeting at Wilmington, and soon after the general meeting at Duck Creek, and their monthly meeting preceding it. The meeting there on first-day was large, and though a mixed multitude attended, it was solid, through the overshadowing of heavenly power; the Lord was pleased to open the mysteries of the kingdom, influencing my heart to preach the gospel in the love thereof to my humble admiration, and many were tendered; for which renewed visitation and favour, a sacrifice of thanksgiving ascended from the hearts of his children, to the all powerful and merciful God who is worthy forever. The meeting on second-day was a time of consolation to the heavy hearted, instruction to the humble seekers, and a season of strengthening to the weak; blessed be the name of the Lord, for his mercies endure forever. I was next at George's Creek meeting, in which Friends were encouraged and in some degree refreshed, many not of our Society attending; the doctrine of personal election and reprobation as held by some, was refuted, and it was clearly pointed out wherein the election stood, namely: in Christ, the seed, which being cleaved unto, and chosen by man for his true instructor and leader, by his light and witness in the heart as a reprover for sin, and so followed and obeyed, man comes to know himself elected in him. I went home with George Ford, at Back Creek, and had an opportunity in his family I hope to some profit.

Towards the fall of the year I had a draft in my mind to attend some meetings in the Jerseys, particularly the quarterly meeting at Shrewsbury; of which having acquainted my brethren at home and had their concurrence, after attending our yearly meeting in Philadelphia and returning from there, I set out in company with my friend Samuel England, on the 12th of the tenth month, but was detained at Philadelphia by a fever, which held me several days. I so far recovered as to proceed on our journey, taking on our way meetings at Mount-holly, at a school house near Shreve's mount, in Upper Springfield, in which I had a concern to warn the youth to beware of deism, and to show the ground and cause of falling into that error; also at Upper Freehold, and in a Friend's house near that called Robbins' meeting. There seems to be a visitation to the youth in that place, to which if they are faithful, that meeting may again increase. We reached the meeting of ministers and elders at Shrewsbury, in which Truth owned the lovers thereof; the public meetings on the three following days were large, and thought to be the most quiet and satisfactory which had been known of late years there; the affairs of the discipline were, as I thought, pretty well conducted.

Finding myself not clear of the members of our Society at this place, I proposed to several Friends that they would favour me so much as to meet on their week-day meeting day, which I understood they usually had omitted in this week, requesting that they would acquaint their members with my desire of seeing them, their children and families together. I therefore waited until fifth-day, when they generally met, which gave me an opportunity comfortably to clear myself towards Friends here, to the encouragement of the sincere; being led to show the active members the cause of dwarfishness, the love of the world and its friendships, choking the good seed, which should grow and bear rule. I was thankful for this opportunity, and left them with the enjoyment of a quiet mind.

From there we passed to Rahway, had a meeting at Woodbridge, and another at Plainfield, in both which Truth owned my service. I thought there was a tender visitation renewed to Friends in those parts, in the sense whereof I was thankful, and that I had been favoured with strength to pay them a visit in the love of my great and good Master; may I ever walk answerably to his manifold favours, who is worthy of all praise forever! We were next at Stonybrook meeting, which was made precious in the renewing of Divine favour; and then at Trenton with a people who have much lost the life and savour of truth. From there going to Byberry and Philadelphia, I reached the quarterly meeting at Concord, which began on the 6th of the eleventh month. Next day I went to Chichester, where I was enabled to speak to the states of the people in the love of Truth, which may be useful if remembered in a right manner; and returned to the quarterly meeting on second-day, which was comfortable, the Divine presence being felt. Our friend Elizabeth Robinson was there, and had good service. On third-day I attended the general meeting at Chester, which was poor and dull; the expectations of the people being too much outward, they were disappointed; then attending the monthly meeting at Wilmington, tarried their meeting the next day, and proceeded to our quarterly meeting at London-grove, at which we had the company of our friends Robert Walker, Elizabeth Robinson and Mary Leaver, from Great Britain; it was a season of refreshment and comfort to many Friends; then went home, having travelled in this journey about three hundred and sixty miles.

In the third month, 1774, I attended our general spring meeting in Philadelphia, the several sittings whereof were divinely favoured; and after it, the general meeting at Wilmington, which was held chiefly in silence, and on that account remarkable.

Having an engagement on my mind for some time to visit Friends on Long island, with some adjacent meetings, I laid it before my brethren, who gave me their certificate for that purpose; and on the 3rd of the fifth month I set out on the journey, having the company of a Friend from Wilmington.

Taking a meeting at Philadelphia, we reached New York, attended their morning and afternoon meetings on first-day, and had an opportunity with several Friends in the evening, which was to me instructive, and I believe through Divine goodness profitable to some others. We then had meetings at Westchester, Mamaroneck and the Purchase; the last being a monthly meeting. These opportunities were close and searching; the testimony of truth was encouraging to the well-minded, but very sharp to the formalists, and my mind was made thankful for the blessing of peace in the discharge of my duty. We next attended meetings at Flushing, on Long island. Cowneck, Westbury, Matinicock, Sequitogue and Bethpage, then at Newtown, the monthly meeting at Westbury, and the quarterly meeting at Flushing, where the yearly meeting began the next day, which held four days; and on the whole I believe it may be said, that the authority of Truth was in some good degree felt to keep down forward spirits, both in the ministry and discipline, which was cause of thankfulness to the Lord who rules among his children, and is worthy of all praise forever. Here I had the company of our dear friends, Robert Walker, Elizabeth Robinson and Susanna Lightfoot, who intending for Rhode Island, I parted with them, and went to the monthly meeting at New York, which through merciful regard was comfortable.

From there going to Rahway, had a meeting at Plainfield, which was satisfactory, through the extendings of Divine favour; then at Kingwood on first-day, from which crossing Delaware, we were at Buckingham monthly meeting, where I thought the true spirit of discipline appeared to be much lacking in many; here my companion returned homewards. The next day I was at Wright's Town monthly meeting, which through the Lord's blessing, was edifying to many; and we parted in peace and sweetness of spirit.

The day following I attended the meeting at Pine Street, in Philadelphia; also that at High Street, on fifth-day, which was a precious opportunity to such who loved to live near the Spirit of Truth. From there I went to visit my brother-in-law, Daniel Brown, near Chester; was at Newtown meeting on first-day, and at an afternoon meeting near Amos Yarnall's; then went to the general meetings at Goshen and Uwchland; after which taking London-grove meeting, I came home, having rode in this journey about six hundred miles, and felt a degree of thankfulness that the Lord was pleased to give me ability to perform it.

I tarried much at home the remaining part of this summer, and on the 21st of the ninth month, I set out in order to attend the yearly meeting at Philadelphia, which was very large in the several sittings, continued a full week, and I thought it the most solid and weighty in transacting the affairs of truth that I ever knew. The testimony thereof against slave keeping was wonderfully exalted, through the power and love of God, who is worthy of all praise forever. In my way home I was at Providence meeting, in which the testimony of truth went forth by way of warning to the lukewarm and declining professors, and of encouragement to the youth.

Our general meeting at Nottingham next day was large, and I hope profitable to some; after which having a desire to be at the general meeting at Cecil, in Maryland, I left home on the 7th of the tenth month, was at the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders there on first-day morning, which was profitably instructive through Divine goodness.

Two public meetings for worship were held on first and second-days, both large and solid, several other Friends from Pennsylvania were there; the business of the quarterly meeting ended on third-day morning; on the same day we had a comfortable public meeting, from which we parted with Friends in much love and nearness. On the following day was their monthly meeting, to attend which several of us stayed; then having a desire to see Friends at Chester River, I went to their weekday meeting, Nicholas Wain bearing me company; the meeting was large, and through the Lord's goodness, it was, I believe, made profitable to many. Taking meetings at Sassafras, Duck Creek, Motherkill and Little Creek, the two last being their preparative meeting at each place; the next day was their select meeting of ministers and elders, and their monthly meeting the day following, which, with several other Friends from Pennsylvania, we attended, and on the first and second-days of the next week, the general meeting at Little Creek. I believe there is a renewed visitation to Friends and some others hereaway; but formal professors appear to be as stumbling blocks, by joining with the spirit of the world. I returned home with an easy mind.

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Weakness and infirmity of body gradually increasing upon our beloved friend, he frequently mentioned, that many years past, it was unexpected to him to live to his seventieth year, and to be favoured with health and strength sufficient to travel so much as he lately had, saying, that now he scarcely thought much more would be required of him. He however attended the western quarterly meeting in the eleventh month, this year, and in the second month, 1775, in both which he was favoured with strength and clearness to speak to the state of the church, as well in some of the select, as the more public meetings, tending to the edification and comfort of many.

In the third month, 1775, he also attended the general spring meeting at Philadelphia, and in some of the sittings thereof was much favoured; and on his return home from there he was at Wilmington general meeting, in company with our friends Robert Walker and Elizabeth Robinson, from Great Britain.

His last journey was on a visit to most of the meetings on the Eastern shore of Maryland, and to attend the yearly meeting at Third-haven, in Talbot county; for which purpose he set out from his own habitation on the 22nd of the fifth month, having, according to his usual care, obtained the concurrence of his brethren, and was accompanied by a young man, William Jackson, a member of New Garden monthly meeting, who has given the following account of this journey:

“Our first day's ride was to George Ford's, near Back Creek; the next morning being damp and foggy, was very trying to his weak constitution, yet we rode forty-five miles that day to Hannah Turner's, in Queen Ann's county, which was thought to be a means of bringing on him a disorder which proved painful and afflicting, and increased till near his end. Being advanced in age, his bodily infirmities appeared great, but the fervency of his mind for the promotion of truth and righteousness, and his care as a father in Israel, were truly as prevalent as ever. On the 24th of the month he went to the preparative meeting at Tuckahoe, wherein he was concerned to exhort some to faithfulness in times of temptation and trial, that they might experience an overcoming, and be enabled to strengthen their brethren.

“Next day we attended Third-haven monthly meeting, in which he was qualified to speak instructively to the members thereof, particularly to such who were encumbered with much care about the things of this life; things, which although lawful in themselves, yet when allowed to engross the minds and affections of people, obstruct a progress in religion. On the 26th, a meeting at Choptank was a time of heavy exercise on account of a lifeless, lukewarm, indifferent situation of mind, which seemed to attend many there assembled. The next day we attended a burial at Third-haven, on which occasion a meeting was held, and he laboured honestly to arouse those who lived in the neglect of making timely preparation for their awful and solemn change.

“On the 28th we were at Tuckahoe meeting, and on second-day at the bay-side, where were but few of our Society, but several others attended who behaved soberly, and some of the younger sort were reached and tendered by truth's testimony, to whom he was led instructively to show, that they need not give their money for that which is not bread, nor their labour for that which satisfies not, and opened to them the way of life and salvation which is attained through the Spirit, or free gift of grace that is come upon all men for justification, so that if they attended to the dictates thereof in their own hearts, it was sufficient to instruct them in the way of godliness; but when people go from, and neglect this inward teacher, seeking to, or depending on learned men, they err.

“Next day we had a religious opportunity in the family of John Bartlett, and on fourth-day went to Tuckahoe meeting again, where he had to speak of the sufficiency of the grace of God, and the inconsistency of people's living in a profession thereof without being found in the faith, or fully believing in this principle as sufficient for salvation. We next attended the meetings at Third-haven and Marshy Creek. The yearly meeting began on seventh-day, and continued until the fourth of the following week, and although he was feeble and unwell, he attended the several sittings thereof, being nine in the five days, and the last held seven hours. He was enabled to appear for the cause and testimony of truth, both in the meetings for worship and discipline; and like the good scribe well instructed in the things of the kingdom, had to bring forth out of the treasury, things new and old, profitable and instructive, being seasoned with the love and virtue of truth. After the meeting on fourth-day, we went to the house of Joseph Berry, where next morning we had a religious opportunity in the family, and the day following a meeting in Queen Ann's forest, from which we went to Joshua Vansant's. Here he was very poorly, having taken some cold; the next day being very warm, he was much spent with riding, and said, as he had at several times before on this journey, 'that he believed it would be his last, if he lived to reach home, which at times he thought seemed unlikely.' On first-day, the 11th of the sixth month, he had a meeting in a school house at Back Creek, among a people who behaved with much sobriety, which was a satisfactory time, very instructive and open for doctrine; and that evening reached home, having travelled in this journey about two hundred and ninety miles.”

On the 14th of the sixth month he went to the week-day meeting at London-grove, to meet a committee of our quarterly meeting, and returned to our meeting at Nottingham the next day. On the first-day of the week following, was there also; and in the same week he attended our preparative and monthly meetings; but a fever daily increasing upon him, he was afterwards chiefly confined at home.

On the 4th of the seventh month he expressed himself thus; “I am glad that I am at home, I have ever found it best when my service abroad was over, to get home as quick as might be; and though I have felt great inward poverty and weakness since my last journey, so that I can neither see my beginning, nor ending, but seem as if all were hidden, yet I hope if Providence shall see fit to remove me at this time, some light will appear again, and that it will be otherwise before I go.”

At another time he spoke to this purpose; “I have found myself much stripped as to a sense of good, and tried with poverty many days. I suppose I have been accounted by some, as one of the better sort of people, but have seen great occasion to beware of a disposition that would feed upon the praise or commendations of others; a carnal selfish spirit is very apt to present and creep in here if possible, and I have seen it hurt many who have had right beginnings; it always introduces dimness and oppression, to the pure, precious, innocent life of truth, which only grows up into dominion, through deep abasement of soul and the entire death of self.”

At several other times he signified to this effect; “My present baptism of affliction has tended to the further refinement of my nature, and to bring me more perfectly into the image of my Master.”

He frequently expressed his full submission to the Divine will, either respecting life or death; several times saying, “I now experience my life and my will to be slain, and I have no will left.”

In the two last weeks of his time it appeared that his desire and hope, mentioned in the fore part of his illness, for light again to appear, was fully answered by the fresh influence thereof, so that although his pain was often great, he would, many times in a day, break forth into a kind of melody with his voice, without uttering words, which as he sometimes intimated, was an involuntary aspiration of his soul in praise to the Lord, who had again been pleased to shine forth in brightness, after many days of poverty and deep baptism, which though painful, had proved beneficial to him, being a means of further purifying from the dregs of nature; saying, he was at times afraid to discover that melody in the hearing of some who visited him, lest they could not comprehend its meaning, and might therefore misconstrue it.

On second-day morning the 17th of the seventh month, being asked by a Friend how he was, he replied, “I am in the body yet, and when I go out of it I hope there is nothing but peace;” and soon after said, “I have seen that all the bustles and noises that are now in the world, will end in confusion, and our young men who know not an establishment in the truth and the Lord's fear for a ballast, will be caught in a trying moment.” At another time he said, “I feel nothing but peace, having endeavoured honestly to discharge myself in public, and privately to individuals, as I apprehended was required; and if it be the Lord's will that I should go now, I shall be released from a great deal of trouble and exercise, which I believe Friends who are left behind will have to pass through.”

On the 20th of the same month he thus expressed himself; “I love Friends who abide in the truth, as much as ever I did, and I feel earnest breathings to the Lord, that there may be those raised up in the church who may go forth in humility, sweetness and life, clear of all superfluity in expressions and otherwise, standing for the testimony, that they may be useful to the church in these difficult times.”

About three days before his death, several Friends being in his room, he spoke as follows; “Friends in the beginning, if they had health and liberty, were not easily diverted from paying their tribute of worship to the Almighty on week-days as well as first-days, but after a while when outward sufferings ceased, life and zeal decaying, ease and the spirit of the world took place with many, and thus it became customary for one or two out of a family to attend meetings, and to leave their children much at home. Parents also, if worldly concerns were in the way, could neglect their week-day meetings sometimes; yet be willing to hold the name, and plead excuse because of a busy time, or the like; but I believe that such a departure from primitive integrity ever did, and ever will, occasion a withering from the life of true religion.”

To a Friend who came to visit him on the 21st of the seventh month, he said, “I feel that which lives beyond death and the grave, which is now an inexpressible comfort to me after a time of deep baptism that I have passed through; I believe my being continued here is in the will of Providence, and I am fully resigned.”

His illness increasing, he said but little on seventh-day, the 22nd; in the afternoon he was very low and speechless about twelve hours; early on first-day morning he recruited a little, and gave directions about his coffin to a Friend who sat up with him, he being a joiner. Continuing rather easier the fore part of that day and appearing cheerful, he expressed in weighty sentences, like farewell exhortations to some who came to see him. On second-day morning he sat up a considerable time, and in the afternoon he appeared lively and sensible, though very weak, thus expressing himself; “I am much refreshed with my Master's sweet air, I feel more life, more light, more love and sweetness than ever before;” and often mentioned the Divine refreshment and comfort he felt flowing like a pure stream to his inward man, saying to those who were with him, “I may tell you of it, but you cannot feel it as I do.”

In the evening a young person coming into the room, looking at her earnestly and affectionately, he said, “Deborah arose a mother in Israel;” and shortly after, “The sweetness that I feel;” then his difficulty of breathing increased, and being turned once or twice, he requested to be helped up, and was placed in his chair; in which he expired about the ninth hour on second-day night, the 24th of the seventh month, 1775, being aged near seventy, and a minister about forty-two years, and was buried on the 26th in Friends' grave yard at East Nottingham, a large concourse of people attending; after which a solemn meeting was held.

1He had built a new brick house, and the hearth was not fully laid.

2The court sessions are held at York, always at the time of the quarterly meeting.

3 The further account of this journey is taken from John Barclay's History of Friends in Scotland, and is as follows:

In the year 1694-5, the Friends in Scotland were visited in the love of the gospel by Peter Gardiner. Some few and extraordinary passages, relative to his journey so far north as Yorkshire, have already appeared in print in the pages of John Churchman's valuable Journal. After some search, the author of the present volume has ascertained, that Peter Gardiner, or Gardner, for his name is spelled both ways in the original documents, lived not far from Castle Hedingham, in Essex, perhaps within the borders of Suffolk; which may explain the substitution of one county for the other, in some of the records about to be referred to.

With regard to his movements among Friends in Scotland, we have but a few scattered particulars. The first to be adduced, relates to his visit at Aberdeen, and is mentioned by the Friends there, in the following terms:

“We had at this monthly meeting, 3rd of eleventh month, 1694-5, the acceptable and comfortable visit of two English Friends, Peter Gardiner, in Suffolk, and James Leech, in Berwick. At the next monthly meeting there is a more extended notice of the former of these, by way of testimony to the goodness of the Lord, in thus favouring his poor instrument, and the congregation at large.—Our dear Friend, Peter Gardiner, mentioned to have been at the last monthly meeting, was eminently attended with a singular gift from God, in travailing for and bringing forth several young plants among Friends' children, into a public ministry, about the middle of last month: particularly Robert Barclay, Robert Gerard and Margaret Jaffray, whose mouth was first opened: as well as he was the instrument of awakening several other young ones by a very tender visitation, which yet continues among them: And, O that it may continue, and they in the sense of it, to the end of their days! As also, about this time, the blessed God of our life was graciously pleased to give us a new, fresh and large visitation, in abundantly pouring out his Spirit and life among us in our gatherings; and some more mouths were opened among elders, particularly dear John Forbes of Aquorthies, as also Jane Molleson.”

A confirmation of the above, may be seen in the language of the Friends of Ury meeting, on the like occasion. They speak of Peter Gardiner as being “an honest and faithful man, of a weighty and discerning spirit. 'He had great service for truth hereaway with good success, in several places, particularly at Aberdeen and Ury, and Montrose; where many were wonderfully tendered and broken before the Lord, and several mouths were opened in testimony and prayer; particularly at Aberdeen, Robert Gerard, James and Timothy Forbes and Margaret Jaffray; at Ury, Robert and David Barclay, and their sisters Christian and Catharine, their aunt Jane Molleson and Joseph White; at Montrose, Jane Bettie, wife of Robert Bettie.'”

In further illustration of the truth and import of the last mentioned circumstances, it is pleasing to be able to produce an interesting, though rough draft of this devoted labourer's services in the neighbourhood of Ury; but especially in the family of 'the Apologist,' whose widow then resided on that estate, with her seven children, the eldest of whom, Robert, has been already spoken of. It will not have escaped the recollection of the reader, how beautifully George Fox, in his sympathetic address to this bereaved widow,—after setting forth the consolations which flow from a union with the Lord, as the Husband and Father of his people, endeavours to stimulate her to do the day's work, to put on his strength, and to hope for his blessing on a faithful discharge of her duty, as a spiritual nursing-mother over her household.

Indeed, he goes further; and subjoins his fervent prayer, that her children may be established upon the Rock, Christ Jesus, and thus be favoured of the Most High, through the fervent exercise of their surviving parent. But in proceeding to describe the successful issue of such labour, it may be well to pause—and hold up to view one means, among others, which she used, by way of laying open the ground of the hearts of her tender offspring to the genial rays of Divine Light. We are informed by a Friend, who, about this time, passed several days under her roof, that “when her children were up in the morning, and dressed, she sat down with them before breakfast, and in a religious manner waited upon the Lord;” “which pious care,” he adds, “and motherly instruction of her children when young, doubtless had its desired effect upon them; for, as they grew in years, they also grew in the knowledge of the blessed truth; and since that time, some of them are become public preachers thereof”—John Gratton’s Life. Thus cherished and watered, did Peter Gardiner find this group of young ‘olive plants,’ when he entered their abode.

Upon the 16th of the eleventh month, 1694, it pleased the Lord to send him to Ury; having come by Aberdeen, Kinmuck, and also Kingswells; in which last place he was made instrumental in the Lord's hand, in bringing forth Andrew Jaffray's eldest daughter in a public testimony. Afterward, in a meeting at Jane Somervill's, at Aberdeen, he was under a great exercise, and said, he felt the life stopped in some there, and could not get forward, until the Seed was at liberty; after which, he was again brought forth in a living testimony, to the refreshment of all the meeting.

When he came to Ury, which was on the third-day of the week, Andrew Jaffray, David Wallace and Robert Gerard accompanying him from Aberdeen, he had a meeting there on fourth-day. From there he went to Stonehaven on fifth-day, being accompanied by most of them of Ury; and there he and Andrew Jaffray had, each of them, a good opportunity among the people that came into the meeting. From there we came that night to Springhall, a house on the estate of Ury, and had there a good meeting; only he said he felt the life stopped in some there, who would not give up to the Lord's requirings. The same night, after supper, he had a blessed opportunity with Robert Barclay, David and Patience Barclay, John Giliie, David Wallace and Robert Gerard; where we were all so mightily overcome, that we were made to cry out; and Robert Barclay, aged twenty-two years, was opened in a few living words of exhortation to the young generation there present, which reached and melted our hearts in a wonderful manner. He said, it was himself who had occasioned the life to be stopped in the foregoing meeting, by not giving up to the Lord's requirings; and so, he concluded in a few living words of prayer. After this they retired to rest. Robert Barclay and Robert Gerard had a remarkably comfortable night, neither of them minding sleep much.

Next day, which was sixth-day, we had a blessed meeting among the children; where Christian Barclay, the younger, aged fourteen years, had her mouth opened in prayer, to the refreshment of us all. That same day we had a more general meeting at Ury; where Friends at Stonehaven, and those also about Ury attended.

On the seventh-day we had another blessed morning meeting among the children; and the first-day of the week following, we had a good meeting about the middle of the day, where there was more people than usual; and Robert Barclay bore a living testimony among them. Life so went along with him in it, that it reached the hearts of many of them, and astonished others; his testimony being much to this purpose:—That the Lord had given them line upon line, and precept upon precept, one visitation after another, to the reaching of many of them; exhorting them to take up the cross and despise the shame, and so become fools for Christ's sake; that thus, they might think nothing too dear or near to them, in comparison with Him. And further he told them, he believed it would be the last visitation of the Lord to some of them; and advised them to turn in time, before it was over: for the Lord had now raised up the third generation to bear a testimony for his truth among them in that place. In that meeting was also his aunt Jane Molleson's mouth opened in a few words of testimony. That same night we had a blessed meeting at Springhall; where David, aged twelve years, Catharine, aged sixteen years, and Christian Barclay, the younger, bore, each of them, a testimony to the truth: yet, notwithstanding all this, our friend, Peter Gardiner, could not obtain ease, but felt the life stopped in one there, and at last named the person and desired him to clear himself; and so John Chalmers, their schoolmaster, aged about nineteen years, afterward an acceptable minister in Dublin, stood up, and said a few words by way of testimony.

Then Peter ended the meeting in prayer, and came away easy. That same night we had a good little meeting together in the school room.

Next morning he had his farewell meeting at Ury; and so he, together with Robert and David Barclay, took his journey. But as we were parting at the end of the garden, Robert Barclay had some living words by way of testimony, to those who had accompanied us there.

We came to Montrose that night; where, after we had rested awhile, we had a little meeting. Next morning we had a meeting among ourselves. About the middle of the day, we had a meeting of all the Friends of the town; and some other people came in: both Peter and Robert Barclay preached on that occasion. We had also another meeting that night, where Peter fully relieved his mind. Robert and David Barclay both declared the truth among them, also John Gellie had some words of prayer. The substance of the testimonies borne in that meeting, were much to this purpose:—That none should sit down in Zion at their ease, but that they should travail for the prosperity of the truth in themselves and others; and that none should love the world or the things of it too much, nor be covered with any other covering than the Spirit of Truth; and that a profession of the truth would not do, till persons came to the life and possession of it. Next morning we had a blessed farewell meeting; and so parted from each other in much tenderness of heart. Peter Gardiner, David Wallace and their companion, went towards Edinburgh.

After they were gone, Robert and David Barclay, John Gellie and Robert Gerard, had a precious meeting together, where Robert Bettie and his wife were present. They returned to Ury that night, a little after nine o'clock. Next day we had a blessed meeting among the children.

The day following, being the 25th of the same month, we had a glorious meeting, where Patience Barclay, aged nineteen years, was opened, both in testimony and in prayer, to the refreshing of all our hearts. We held another good meeting among the children the day after; where James Forbes, being then at Ury, had some words of testimony.

And so, the Lord God, as he has begun a good work, will carry it on, if we be but faithful to him, over all that the enemy or his instruments can do to hinder it. Oh! that we may think nothing too dear to part with, for Him; but that we may give up all freely for Him, if he please to make use of any of us as instruments in his hand; and that our eye may be unto Him, and so abide faithful unto the end: which will be of more value than all the perishing pleasures and transitory enjoyments of this world.

With regard to the application of these facts to our own day, and to individual experience, it may truly be said, “This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” Do we not see, in them, the accomplishment of one of the most prominent among the standing miracles foreordained, respecting these gospel times?—“And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy:—and on my servants and on my handmaidens, I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy.” And again, another ancient language, which has equal reference to more modern periods:—“Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings you have perfected praise.” It is hoped, however, that none will be inclined, in perusing the above statements, to cast these things from them; taking up the conclusion, that these ' marvellous things' do not concern them. For assuredly, “Those things which are revealed, belong unto us and unto our children.” The example of such as have listened and heard, and answered the call of the Lord, to give up their hearts to his disposal and direction, that he may work in or by them, altogether according to his own good pleasure,—most certainly, these examples speak forth the inviting language, ‘Follow us, as we have followed Christ:’ they form one link in that chain of evidence, in mercy continued down, even to us of the present age, through the long line of patriarchs, prophets and believers of every degree—that God is most favourably inclined, to draw near and to dwell with all who diligently seek him,—that he will richly reward them, even in this life, with the lifting up of the light of his countenance,—that he will dignify all who trust in and obey him, with the manifestations of his love and power, and even make them, in one way or another, instruments of his glory for the good of souls.

Peter Gardiner, proceeding on his journey through the other meetings of Friends in Scotland, on his way homeward, arrived at Carlisle: from this place, as it is supposed, he wrote the ensuing epistle, but a very short time before he was taken with his last illness. It affords some clear indications of a sound and living faith, simplicity of love, a heavenly meekness and gratitude, which were now fast ripening for a better state.

“It is thought fit,” observe the Friends of Aberdeen, “here to insert our dear friend and brother Peter Gardiner's last salutation of love to this meeting, by way of epistle, a little before he laid down the body; it having pleased the Lord to remove him a little after, by the small pox, at Carlisle, as he was returning homeward, about the of 1695: which paper follows—he having been so notable an instrument hereaway.”

“This is the tender salutation of my love to Friends in general, belonging to Aberdeen.

“My dear and loving Friends, which are near and dear to me in the everlasting truth of my God!

“In the love of God, with which our souls have been refreshed together—in this love, does my soul dearly salute you all; hoping these few lines may find you all in good health, as, glory to my God! I am at this time;—and I have had a prosperous journey—glory be to the eternal God! Though my inward exercises have been very great, yet, this is matter of great joy, that the work of my God is going on. For the Lord is pouring out of his Spirit in a glorious manner, in the west of Scotland:—there are three come forth in a public testimony, to the great refreshment of the souls of many. Therefore, dear Friends, let us labour together in the work of our God.

“And I beseech you all, in the love of God,—which I do at this time feel to spring towards you, do not despise the day of small things; for whosoever despises the day of small things in themselves or others, a withering day will certainly come upon them. Therefore, dear Friends, cry mightily unto the Lord on behalf of your children; for I do believe, that the Lord will pour out his Spirit upon them, and make them very glorious, as they give up in obedience unto him:—for I feel the love of God very large, towards you and your children. And I was glad to hear of the sweet stream of life, which I heard ran among you since I came away.

“So, dear Friends, in a fresh stream of life, does my soul dearly salute you all, desiring the continuance of your prayers for me: so I remain your friend and brother in the Lord,”

“Peter Gardiner.”

The only remaining memorial which has come to hand respecting this faithful follower of a self-denying and crucified Redeemer, is that conveyed in a letter from John Bowstead, a Friend of Carlisle, to Francis Stamper of London.

“Aglionby, 12th of Third month, 1695.

“Dear friend, Francis Stamper,

“By these you may understand, that I received yours from London, the 30th of first month, and it is now before me; and your request therein I hereby answer in the following lines.

“Our dear friend, Peter Gardiner, made a very sweet and heavenly end, to the general satisfaction of all present; for the Spirit and power of God was with him: and at several times in his sickness, he spoke many seasonable and weighty words; of which I take some, as follows:—On the fifth day before he departed this life, I was sent for by some Friends of the city of Carlisle; and when I came into the room where he lay sick, I asked him how it was with him? He said, Ah, John! I am sick in body, but the Lord reigns gloriously in Zion: his power is over all his enemies. And, often using the word John, as I sat by him, he said, Ah, John! there is a terrible day approaching this nation, the weight of which bowed my spirit as I came along—I saw it before I left the kingdom of Scotland—Oh! it bowed me, it was even like death unto me. So he lay still a little time, and I asked, how it was with him?—for I felt him under an exercise of spirit;—and I asked him, if he would have me write his will? Yes, said he, and what you do, do quickly. So I wrote it, and read it to him, and it satisfied him much.

“Then sitting in silence a little while, I was moved of the Lord to prayer: after me Peter Gardiner prayed very powerfully,—That the Lord would preserve his people together in unity, and would spare and overshadow them with the wing of his power, until the storm be passed over;—or words to that purpose. And the power of the Lord being over all, I think all that were in the room, were melted and broken into tenderness; and some that were fallen back from the truth, being present, were also tendered, and made to confess that the Lord was with him,—and so he was. So lying quietly for a little while, there came into the room one that was not a Friend, but under convictions in his heart. Peter Gardiner asked me, as I sat upon the bedside by him, Who that was that came into the room? There being many, and most of them Friends, I said, This is a Friend. Ah! said he, it is no Friend; is it not such a one? so called him near,—and it was so. Peter Gardiner was so full of the small-pox, that he could not see at that time. He then spoke to the young man, and said, ‘You have no peace in your lying down, nor in your uprising; therefore, I charge and warn you in the name of the Lord my God, that you speedily return, and draw near unto the Lord, while you have a day afforded you. For now is the day of your visitation, and the Lord is still striving with you; and if you do not return, you will repent, when time will be too late with you. I tell you, you would be heir of two kingdoms, but will never obtain them both;’—with many other weighty words to particular Friends, which would be too tedious here to mention.

“A copy of his last words to Friends in his own country and elsewhere, I here send you, as follows:”

“‘Dear Friends,

“‘Inasmuch as it has been my lot to be concerned in the service of truth, and to have a portion amongst the people of God, I can bless his name, that he has thought me worthy to have a name amongst them that are living; for I have sweet peace with Him, that is, the Redeemer of Israel, and am now waiting for my Pilot to conduct me to my long home.’

“To his wife thus:

“‘My dear wife,

“‘In the fresh springs of life that flow forth from my Father's presence, do I dearly salute you, and our dear children and Friends, with desires in my heart, that grace, mercy and peace, may dwell plentifully in and amongst you, unto your lives' end! Farewell!

“‘Peter Gardiner.’”

“This, at present, with my love to yourself and Friends; I rest your friend,

“John Bowstead.”

Table of Contents

Chapter I.

Chapter II.

Chapter III.

Chapter IV.

Chapter V.

Chapter VI.

Chapter VII.

Chapter VIII.